RATING LEVELS:
Curt Hennig – A
“GOAT” show, as Perfect as possible
Watch It – A
consistently good show worth watching in its entirety
Watch It…With Remote
in Hand – 3 or more above-average ratings
High Risk Maneuver –
Mostly filler, inessential, but 1-2 good matches
DUDleyville –
Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch
The 2002 Royal Rumble –
January 2002
Atlanta, Georgia
COMMENTATORS: Jim
Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler
CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN:
Having bested both Steve Austin and The Rock on the same night in December,
Chris Jericho comes into tonight's show as the Undisputed WWE World Champion.
Tazz and Spike Dudley are the WWF Tag Team Champions, Edge holds the
Intercontinental Championship, Christian is the European Champion, and though
it is not mentioned, the Undertaker is technically the Hardcore Champion. Trish Stratus is the reigning Womens' Champion and Tajiri was
the Cruiserweight Champion, though he does not appear on the card.
The 2002 Royal Rumble begins with a video package
highlighting several of the most famous Royal Rumbles in history as well as
some words from a variety of WWE characters about this year's edition, one of
the most star-studded Rumbles ever.
Kicking things off we have The Dudley Boys, accompanied by Stacy Keibler, challenging the
reigning WWF Tag Team Champions, Tazz
and Spike Dudley. Unsurprisingly, this one starts off as a straight-up
brawl, with the Dudleys going after Spike's injured neck from the very start.
Despite the Dudleys hitting a variety of high-impact offense, the crowd chants
"We Want Tables" within the first 3-4 minutes, only switching gears
once Spike shows some life. The flapjack they hit earns an audible groan from the crowd, who are loud and engaged throughout.
The hot tag for Tazz leads to one of the best offensive flurries I've seen out
of him in his entire WWF run, no doubt benefitted tremendously from having two guys
that knew how to sell and bump for him. While I would've
liked to see this one go a bit longer, there's not too much to complain about
in this straightforward-albeit-brief match. (2.5/5)
In the next match, William
Regal takes on the Intercontinental Champion, Edge. Edge has the upperhand at the start, but
Regal's strikes allow him to take control. Regal's T-Bone
Suplex is vicious looking, as is Edge's backdrop reversal of the Englishman's
double-underhook powerbomb (which he ends up hitting later on). Nick Patrick botches an easy
call at one point, counting a pinfall despite half of Edge's body being outside
of the ring. This is followed by a double-headbutt spot that, while logical and
well-executed, seems to tire the audience more than it adds suspense.
Fortunately, the stiffness of the next few moves recapture the audience's
attention and, when Regal locks in his submission finisher, the crowd does seem
genuinely worried about the outcome. The finish makes sense thanks to some
foreshadowing before the bell and Regal's post-match promo is a nice add-on. (3.5/5)
Jazz challenges
WWF Womens' Champion Trish Stratus
(with Jacqueline as Guest Referee) in the next match-up. People who hate on
today's Divas scene should count their blessings - from even before the bell
rings there is some clear sloppiness on display (Stratus unable to take off her
coat, both women patiently waiting to strike eachother and set-up moves) and
things do not get any better as the match goes on. Stratus would certainly
improve as a worker over time and Jazz hits a nice splash and leg drop, but
even the arm work is suspect and, considering Stratus has an injured hand (and
not forearm), this match doesn't really tell the story that it probably should
have. More time may have helped, but considering the ratio of
botched-to-unbotched maneuvers, I think the time given was appropriate. (1.5/5)
A video package hypes up our next contest - a streetfight
between the WWF's storyline co-owners, Ric
Flair and Vince McMahon. As one
might expect, this is more of a "spectacle" than an actual
scientific wrestling contest. After some back-and-forth and plenty of Vince
McMahon flexing (he does look absolutely jacked), Flair blades
and starts bleeding buckets while McMahon dominates him all over the ring,
going after the Nature Boy's leg. Flair is able to mount a comeback by
reversing a figure four attempt and ends up busting the Chairman open outside
of the ring. McMahon's overacting and
Flair deliberately positioning himself for the non-pro he's working with make this an unrealistic brawl, but not an unentertaining one. (3/5)
Backstage, Stephanie McMahon cuts an absolutely awful promo.
It is remarkable how much more natural she comes off today. Austin interrupts
her with a couple dozen (or hundred) "Whats."
The Undisputed WWF Championship is on the line in the next
contest - Chris Jericho defending
against The Rock. The crowd is
absolutely insane for The Rock, which is a bit surprising to me
considering that this is far from a fresh match. Jericho brings tons of energy
to this match as well. The pacing is noticeably quicker than their previous encounters, with both men going
through their "hits" one after another. Christian and Lance Storm show up at one point, we get some
finisher theft, and there's two ref bumps (lest we forget what company we're watching) but the roar of the crowd makes it clear that this is
exactly the kind of thrill ride the fans wanted to see. The combatants
eventually make their way outside the ring, where The Rock connects with one of
the most spectacular Rock Bottoms I've ever witnessed. Nick Patrick's role is
incredibly deflating and it taints the finish (which is already
ridiculously dirty), but there's enough good in this match to keep it from
being a disappointment. In fact, certain stretches feature the best minutes of
work these two ever did together, which helps explain why Dave Meltzer gave it
4-and-a-quarter stars 13 years ago. (3.5/5)
Main event time - The
2002 Royal Rumble. At number one and two are Rikishi and Goldust
respectively, but they're soon joined by Bossman, who I forgot was still around
at this point (and ends up the first man eliminated). Bradshaw, Lance Storm, Al
Snow, and some other also-rans enter, but we don't get a real contender until
the familiar sounds of Kid Rock come on and The Undertaker makes his entrance
via motorcycle. Taker cleans house, literally eliminating every challenger
until Matt Hardy makes his arrival. Lita helps Hardy stay alive, as does Jeff
Hardy, the next entrant. While Team Extreme drawing consecutive numbers ruins "kayfabe," its a good storytelling device that allows the fans to witness
two big spots - a Swanton from Jeff and a Last Ride to Matt. With the Hardys
out, Maven makes his way to the ring and is about to be tossed out of the ring
when Team Extreme comes in for revenge. From here, we get one of the most
legendary moments in wrestling history - Maven eliminating the Undertaker with
a dropkick in what Jim Ross calls "The biggest shocker he's ever seen in a
Royal Rumble." What fans may not remember is that the next five minutes of
the show are based entirely on Taker decimating Maven (and Scotty 2 Hotty),
with the Rumble itself not getting the spotlight until Christian, DDP, and
Chuck Palumbo show up. The Godfather's flamboyant entrance gets the crowd
going, but, like the arrivals of A-Train and Perry Saturn, doesn't add any importance to the proceedings - in fact, when The Godfather
leaves (again escorted by a dozen scantily clad women), a majority of the
audience turns back to the entranceway, completely uninterested in the men
still vying for a headline spot at WrestleMania. Fortunately, "Stone
Cold" Steve Austin shows up next, eliminates everyone (including Christian
and Palumbo twice), and gets the crowd's focus back into the squared circle. A steroid-infused Val
Venis and an equally performance-enhanced Test are the next entrants, deflating
the hot crowd a bit by putting Austin on the defense. Still, the Rattlesnake's
spot as the biggest star in the ring is never questioned as he regains the
upperhands and tosses out both men in rapid succession. With the number of
entrants dwindling down, a soaking wet Triple H returns to WWE PPV after a
lengthy absence, locking eyes with his longtime rival and one-time tag partner
as he slowly makes his way to the ring to the sounds of Motorhead. By the time
they finally come to blows, two minutes have passed and Hurricane Helms is
sprinting down the aisle (only to be eliminated in a matter of seconds). Farooq
enters next to little fanfare, gets hit with a Stunner and ends up knocked over
the top rope by a Triple H clothesline, the contest returning to a battle
between The Game and the Toughest SOB in the Land. Mr. Perfect shows up next,
taking his time to get into the ring before immediately taking control of the
match, while Kurt Angle takes a different approach, diving straight into the
ring and going after longtime rival Steve Austin. This ends up eliciting a huge
"You Suck What" chant that probably should've served as a hint to what
program the fans might've rather seen Austin involved in at WrestleMania
(though, to be sure, this would've been at least the 4th time Austin/Angle
would've happened on PPV had it happened). The Big Show and Kane come out,
late in the match, which is exactly where they should be - putting either man
in early would've exposed them and make their eliminations a formality. As late entrants, though, they add to the drama of the match in a way that few others
could. Rob Van Dam comes in at #29 and gets to showcase his offense on everyone
- except Triple H who pedigrees him, thus setting up his elimination at the
hands of the #30 entrant, Booker T (who is then eliminated by Austin). With the
final four in the ring, we get some finisher teasing and signature spots, Stone
Cold serving as the match's anchor until his elimination. From here, the match
devolves a bit, especially with Triple H biding his time in a borderline cowardly way reminiscent
of Roman Reigns' victory at Royal Rumble 2015. The fact is, Austin leaves the
ring as the hottest babyface in the company and the three men left in the ring
are laid out in such a fashion that none look worthy of being called
"winners." This point is driven home by Perfect's
elimination, which the crowd basically boos. The last 15 seconds is nothing special. Overall, not the
greatest Royal Rumble in history, but far from the worst. Austin's work is remarkable
and one must give at least some credit to the company's attempt at making
Undertaker/Maven a hot storyline. (3/5)
With an average match rating of 2.83-out-of-5, the 2002 Royal Rumble is the kind of show that was probably
much funner to watch back in 2002 than it was to watch in 2015. The main attraction of
the show is the Rumble and, with few surprise entrants and several talents
whose schticks were played out even then (Scotty 2 Hotty, Val Venis), there is
little replay value to this edition. Unlike the 92'
edition, the story told is pretty straightforward aside from the Maven/Undertaker shocker. Unlike the 97' and 98' versions (or
even the 90' and 91' matches), you don't get a victory that 100% of the
audience supports (which isn't to say Triple H wasn't popular, but Austin and
RVD certainly had vocal supporters who are audibly disappointed in their
eliminations). Elsewhere on the card, Jericho and The Rock put forth the best
match of the night, though Edge/Regal is a bit of a hidden gem and easily one
of the best non-stipulation matches that Edge had wrestled on PPV up to this
point. Look elsewhere for quality divas action.
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