Friday, February 12, 2016

NWA Starrcade 84'

I
Starrcade 84' - November 1984
Greensboro, North Carolina

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Ric Flair comes into tonight's show the reigning NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Wahoo McDaniel is the United States Champion, Tully Blanchard is the TV Champion, Dusty Rhodes and Manny Fernandez are the NWA World Tag Team Champions, Jesse Barr holds the Florida State Championship, Mike Davis is the Junior Heavyweight Champion, Black Bart is the Brass Knuckles Champion, and Ron Bass is the Mid-Atlantic Champion.

COMMENTATORS: Gordon Solie and Bob Caudle


Starrcade 84' kicks off with the night's Junior Heavyweight Championship match, Mike Davis defending the strap against Denny Brown. If those names don't scream "PPV Worthy," I don't know what does...Anyway, neither one looks like your modern cruiser, but Solie and Caudle do clarify that they are under 230 pounds. The action is decent, with some well-executed technical wrestling on display, but this ain't a Pillman/Liger match, overachieving and revolutionizing the industry. A solid, textbook finish ends in the most bizarre fashion, though, when Denny Brown is declared the winner despite Mike Davis clearly making the pinfall. A replay is supposed to clarify the confusion around the finish, but it only irritated me as, in this instance, neither guy gets a shoulder up and, to me, you must then award the victory to the guy on offense. Absolute shit ending. (0/5)

Next up, Mr. Ito takes on Brian Adidas. The Japanese Terror is more agile and technically proficient than he appears at first glance, while Adidas is essentially a "Tom Zenk Light," with less explosive offense, a less impressive physique, and even less charisma than the Z-Man. I liked the airplane spin, but this one is pretty dull. (0.5/5)

The Florida State Championship is on the line in the next contest - Mike Graham challenging Jesse Barr. The second gen-er Graham is the former champion, which gives some purpose to this match, but his spirited performance is what really gives this one a sense of mattering. Barr sells the danger of the figure four well, but both guys also do an excellent job of showcasing how punishing a simple side headlock can be. There's other great mini-moments in here (Graham backhanding Barr and Barr's bump from Graham's atomic drop), but what makes me push it above average is the quality finish, one that keeps both the victor and the loser looking credible. (3/5)

Viewers are treated to a video of Dick Slater and Ricky Steamboat getting destroyed by JJ Dillon, Black Bart, and Ron Bass. This is pretty key (and is played again later) as at least three matches on tonight's show have links to this angle.

Paul Jones' Zambuie Express takes on Assassin #1 and Buzz Tyler next in a match being fought under Elimination Rules. Old school wrestling fans will remember Elijah Akeem being the former Leroy Brown, who actual held the NWA Television Championship for a brief period in the early 80s. Both he and his partner have tremendous size, but not much else based on this match. Ditto for Buzz Tyler, who is energetic, but not mesmerizing in terms of what he presents in-ring. Assassin eliminates Kareem Muhammed first, giving the faces a 2-on-1 advantage, but before that somewhat counter-intuitive story can be told, the other Zambuie Expresser is announced as having been counted out. Worthless match. (0/5)

Dusty Rhodes shares some thoughts. Not an all-time great promo, but solid. 

"The Raging Bull" Manny Fernandez takes on Black Bart for Bart's Brass Knuckles Championship. I'm not sure why the title even exists, especially when neither guy utilizes brass knuckles, but whatever. Fernandez is red hot with the crowd, fully backing him in this impressively violent slugfest. Fernandez is a bloody mess within minutes, which Solie explains as being the effect of having so much scar tissue on his forehead. Bart ends up bleeding a bit as well, coming back into the ring with his head sliced open after getting knocked to the outside. The finish comes from a JJ Dillon screw-up. I would've liked to see some actual weapons gets used in this Anything Goes match, but this one wasn't too bad. (2/5)

Gordon Solie announces to the viewer that its time for a 7-minute intermission. In that time we hear from Ricky Steamboat, who delivers an intense, serious, very articulate and sportsmanlike promo before getting some words from his opponent tonight, Tully Blanchard.

A Tuxedo Streetfight (where the Loser Must Leave Town) is next between longtime rivals Jimmy Valiant and Paul Jones. A year earlier, Valiant was in his "Charlie Brown" guise, which was my first time really watching him in action. The crowd is still hugely into him and fully in support of every dastardly thing he does to Jones. Not really a match, but the entertainment-level is pretty high in this one, with the story starting in comedic fashion and escalating pretty quickly to gory violence. The surprise finish made me intrigued as to how the rest of the storyline went. (2.5/5)

Ric Flair is backstage with Tony Schiavone. He talks about the $1 million prize on the line in tonight's main event. Like the Rhodes promo, Flair is more calm and collected than in his usual interviews.

Mid-Atlantic Champion Ron Bass defends against Dick Slater next. Good, intense back-and-forth action here with some actual wrestling (a breath of fresh air compared to the previous three matches) and some even better play-by-play out of the commentators. Textbook bulldogs, suplexes, bodyslams, and leg drops on display with Slater's selling reminding me of Dean Ambrose at times. A reasonable DQ finish is followed by a crowd-pleasing post-match. Good match, but not a great one. (2.5/5)

To hype the next match, we get the national anthem. Odd to hear it in the middle of the show.

Keith Larson tags up with Ole Anderson to take on Ivan and Nikita Koloff in the next match. The story coming into this match is that Larson and Ole are teaming up to help their buddy Don Kernodle get revenge on his former tag partner Ivan Koloff and Ivan's nephew, Nikita. When the match begins, the faces clear out the heels early and proceed to focus on attacking Ivan's left arm without a half-dozen wristlocks (as well as a purposeful bodyslam-with-the-arm-behind-the-back by Ole Anderson, one of my all-time favorite maneuevers). Overall, a mixed bag of a match featuring some good moments (Nikita's impressive bear hugs on the sizeable Ole Anderson) and some bad (anytime Larson's in the ring). It also runs a bit too long for my taste. Extra half-point for the finish, which dissatisfies the crowd to the point of actually pelting garbage into the ring. That's the kind of heat you just don't get in the WWE these days. (2/5)

The Television Championship (and $10,000) is on the line in the next bout, fought under strict "No Run/Title Changes Hands on DQ," with Ricky Steamboat challenging the incumbent titleholder, Tully Blanchard. From the sound of the bell, this one kicks off with loads of high energy, intense action, Steamboat eventually cut off by Tully attacking his previously damaged ribs. After trading holds for a bit, there's a great sequence in which Tully does a tremendous job of building suspense by refusing to lock up with Steamboat, slapping him in the head and spitting in his face but never letting the hero in close enough to tie him up. When the audience finally gets to the pay-off (two leapfrogs followed by a snap powerslam off the ropes), it propels the match to its climax, when Tully gets busted open. From here, Blanchard plays his character perfectly, flustered but not yet out of tricks or ready to give up, miraculously kicking out of a number of nearfalls, including a swinging neckbreaker and perfectly-executed dropkick. Blanchard's resiliency isn't ignored by the commentators, either, which adds credibility to both men's efforts. The final third is not mind-blowing storytelling (the "roll of quarters in the trunks" bit would be unfamiliar to very few fans), but expectations are wisely subverted a bit by having Steamboat inititally survive Tully's first cheap shot. Overall, a great match that needed just a bit more time (and maybe some brawling on the outside or involvement by JJ Dillon) to put it up a notch higher. (4/5)

"Superstar" Billy Graham makes his way to the ring for his opportunity to capture the United States Championship from Wahoo McDaniel. If the previous match was a near-classic, this one is a near-zero, the only reason to watch being to see how impressive Graham's physique is this late in his career. Essentially, this is a battle of two lumbering vets who simply slug eachother, hit some chest chops, and bump, but don't seem too interested in telling a real story, building suspense, or doing anything that will actually make the crowd feel like they've seen something special. A lazy match with an all-time lazy finish. (0.5/5)

Main event time - Dusty Rhodes challenging "Nature Boy" Ric Flair for his NWA World Heavyweight Champion. Joe Frazier is serving as the referee, making this the second Starrcade in a row to feature a special guest referee in the match. On the Network version, Rhodes arrives to some very weird ambient funk music while Flair is introduced with his classic theme. Flair gets a fairly impressive pop, which makes some sense because, based on his ring work in this contest, he is not really at his peak heel persona yet (this being pre-Horsemen). Rhodes is popular, but surprisingly comes off as the aggressor for the majority of the contest, putting the champion on defense and in somewhat of an underdog light. Rhodes dishes out some pretty impressive offense throughout, including a figure four, two press slams (one from the corner), and a vertical suplex. Flair's work is limited to chest chops and a sleeper, but the match does at least go into "third gear" once the two combatants make their way outside (where Dusty ends up a bloody mess). Unfortunately, Frazier calls the match a few minutes later due to the cut above Rhodes' eye, awarding the match (and its $1M prize) to the Nature Boy in a thoroughly deflating ending. The recurring theme of awful, cowardly match finishes on this show really hurts what was already only an average-at-best contest. (1.5/5)

After a recap by our commentary team, Ric Flair shares his thoughts backstage, followed by the only saving grace of the entire last 30 minutes of this broadcast, a spirited, angry promo by a bandaged Dusty Rhodes. Bonus point for at least giving us *one* really good backstage interview in this match (and Tony Schiavone getting shoved). (+1)



With an average "watchability" rating of 1.77-out-of-5, Starrcade 84' is up there (or down there?) with Clash of the Champions 32, Starrcade 94', and SuperBrawl V as one of the worst shows I've ever sat through. Only Steamboat/Blanchard is worth checking out, the main event being one of the most disappointing finales to any card I've watched in my Network viewership. Old school apologists might argue that my disdain for this show is based on not fully being aware of the "context" of the show or that I came into watching it with too much of a "modern eye." While that may be true to a degree, there's no "context" that can help the fact that the Zambuie Express match ends with a pinfall and a countout, that the opener's finishing spot is more confusing and frustrating than intruiging, that Wahoo and Billy Graham don't half-ass their way through a terrible contest that makes a mockery of the United States Championship, that the little bit of momentum this show might pick up at certain points is ruined by "intermissions" full of unimaginative, unremarkable promos. 

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville












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