Monday, March 28, 2016

WWE Survivor Series 89'

DISCLAIMER - I will readily admit to not being a fan of Survivors matches. I will also admit that this may be because I didn't grow up on the "real" Survivor Series PPV...series. I grew up on Survivor Series shows post-91' - events that were might have featured a Survivors match here or there, but were largely built around attraction matches (namely Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan at Survivor Series 91', Big Bossman vs. arch nemesis Nailz the next year, and obviously Michaels/Hart in 97'). 

The Survivor Series was never about Survivors matches to me. 

Now, I wasn't ignorant of the fact that the early incarnations of the show featured this match type - I just didn't really care for the concept. 4-on-4 matches based on elimination rules? 4-5 of em' per 3-hour show? I could do the math and I figured these shows would be filled with lengthy, repetitive, formulaic action. No titles on the line meant no real significance too. As a kid, I passed on these when I saw em' on the video store. No, thanks, I'll just rent WrestleMania VII for the twentieth time, please.  Or, more realistically, pop in the VHS copy I dubbed from CableVision. 

And, so, if you're one of those people who absolutely love Survivor Series matches, you'll likely be disappointed in my review. You'll argue that I don't "get it." I don't know what there is to get, but I went into this show with as open a mind as I could finagle. 


Survivor Series 89' - November 1989
Chicago, Illinois


CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Hulk Hogan is the WWF World Champion, the Ultimate Warrior holds the Intercontinental Championships, and Demolition are the WWF World Tag Team Champions.

COMMENTATORS: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Survivor Series 89' starts off with a promo from Hulk Hogan, running down the list of things he's thankful for. This is followed by words from Ted DiBiase, Jake Roberts, Demolition, Randy Savage, Hacksaw Duggan, Dino Bravo and Earthquake, Dusty Rhodes, Bossman, Beefcake, Rick "The Model" Martel, Rick Rude, Piper, The Genius, Mr. Perfect, The Bushwackers, The Brain, and, finally, The Ultimate Warrior. Fun opening. (+1)

Big Bossman, Rick Martel, Bad News Brown, and Honky Tonk Man make their way down the aisle to the awesome sounds of Slick's theme music (one of my favorites of the 80s). Their opponents are "The Dream Team" of Brutus Beefcake, The Red Rooster, Tito Santana, and, getting his own special entrance, "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes. Santana and Honky start things off, but Martel comes in quickly to work on his former tag partner. The crowd pops huge when Dusty Rhodes come in and squares off against a fresh Big Bossman and gives an equally respectable pop for Brutus Beefcake's tag in. Terry Taylor comes in for a spell, but the first pinfall comes when Martel eliminates the future El Matador. Down 4-on-3, Dusty Rhodes comes in, landing some big strikes and a dropkick (to the amazement of Ventura). Beefcake and Taylor get tagged in and Martel is in all sorts of trouble until he makes the tag and Bossman comes in. Bossman locks in a bearhug, but can't put the Rooster out, and Bad News comes in for the first time. Taylor makes everything Bad News does look great, though, but a miscommunication leads to conflict among the heels, Bad News storming off in disgust. Beefcake scores the next pinfall, hitting a high knee to eliminate Honky Tonk (trivia fact: the high knee would become Beefcake's finisher when he became the Booty Man in WCW). Martel comes in and slows things down, bringing Beefcake to the mat with a snug headlock. After trying to cheat his way to a victory, Martel falls prey to a roll-up and things are now 3-on-1 in favor of the faces. Rooster eats a Bossman Slam to make things 2-on-1. The Dream steps in, but rapidly makes a tag for Beefcake, using their numbers to take advantage of a tired and beaten down Bossman. A crossbody brings the match to a close, but Bossman and Slick refuse to leave without getting some revenge, cuffing Rhodes to the ring rope and attacking him with his night stick. Beefcake makes the save with his hedge clippers. Not a bad match, but not the first one I'd choose to show someone who (like me) has a bit of a prejudice against Survivor Series matches. At close to 30 minutes, but nothing really exceptional happening, this is an average showcase at best. (2/5)

Big Bossman is interviewed by Sean Mooney in the back. Mooney then sends things over to "Mean" Gene who is standing with the 4x4s, "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin, Bret Hart, Hercules, and team captain Jim Duggan. 

Back in the arena, The Fink introduces the King's Court - Randy "The Macho King" Savage, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Dino Bravo, and Earthqauke. The aforementioned Hart, Duggan, Hercules, and Ron Garvin are their opponents, coming out with no music but a respectable amount of cheers. The good guys play to the crowd to open things up, running the heels off the mat before the referee is finally able to get control of things. Savage and Hercules start things off, Savage tagging out to the Valentine, the muscleman hitting him with a big atomic drop before Bret Hart and Jim Duggan come in to continue their onslaught on The Hammer, targeting his shoulder. Hammer is eventually able to make a tag to Bravo, but it's Earthquake who gets the first pin for his team, crushing Hercules with his finisher. The match continues for awhile with Garvin getting beatdown for awhile before he's able to make a big tag to Hacksaw, who then evens things up by eliminating Valentine. Duggan lands himself in some trouble when Earthquake comes in, tagging out to Garvin, who ends up going toe-to-toe with Dino Bravo. Garvin lays into him with the Garvin Stomp, one of the lamest signature moves I can recall seeing. Savage and Bret come in and the action and excitement ramps up momentarily, though, when Bravo comes back in, the crowd deadens a bit. Garvin is eliminated soon after and things are now 3-on-2 in favor of the villains. Bret and Macho get some minutes in the ring together, but it's a somewhat awkward stretch - Macho gets tied up in the ropes when you'd expect the face to end up in that situation and Hart dominates for the most part (with Savage's offense coming in the form of hope spots). The easy-to-hate Bravo comes in, applies a bearhug to the Hitman, and the crowd rallies behind him in anticipation for a Hacksaw hot tag. Earthquake comes in instead, wearing down Hart with a big choke and elbow drop before Bravo comes back in. A mix-up by the heels allows for Bret to finally make it to his corner and Duggan comes in. For some reason, though, he ends up tagging.a tired Hitman back in moments later, an illogical decision that leads to his elimination and the heels making this a 3-on-1 bout. The crowd starts stomping their feet for Duggan, but it doesn't seem to faze Earthquake. The heels try to bum rush him, but Hacksaw clears them all out, firing up the audience in the process. Earthquake takes control of things as the crowd starts chanting "USA" in support of their hero, who gets hit with a variety of his opponent's signature spots, including an Earthquake elbow drop and Randy Savage double axehandle from the top. Sensational Sherri gets involved too, the finish becoming an overly complicated and, in my opinion, overly protective attempt to keep Duggan looking strong. Despite some solid work out of Hart, Savage, and Quake (three of my favorites), this is another one not worth seeking out. (2/5)

The Genius is welcomed to the show to present a Thanksgiving-themed poem. Like his SummerSlam one, it seems a bit lackluster compared to the ones he typically gave before his matches.

Already in the ring are the heel team for our next match - Ted DiBiase, Zeus, and The Powers of Pain. Soon enough their opponents arrive separately - Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Demolition, and the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Hulk Hogan. The heels get chased out of the ring at the start by Jake's pet snake, Damien, but we also get a staredown between Zeus and Hogan to kick things off. Noticeably absent are any comments about No Holds Barred. The Hulkster and the "Z Gangsta" start things off, shoving each other and exposing kayfabe by having Zeus no sell anything (including several shoulder blocks and a body slam). The crowd cheers on the Hulkster as Zeus chokes him out in the center of the ring, refusing to let up when the referee tries to pull him off and causing himself to get disqualified in one of the dumbest eliminations on the show so far. With Hogan beaten down, DiBiase comes in but, for whatever reason, doesn't immediately go for the cover and instead allows Hogan to get a bit of a second wind and make a tag to Jake Roberts. Demolition come in next, furthering the beatdown on DiBiase and turning the match around entirely. Demolition Ax gets eliminated minutes later due to some nefarious deeds, but the crowd barely reacts, thoroughly uninvested in any of this match since, without Zeus, there doesn't seem to be any real threat to Hogan around. Demolition Smash is eliminated next from a blind tag and big top rope clothesline from the Barbarian. Roberts comes in, the faces now down 3-to-2, but ends up taking a huge amount of punishment for his efforts. The Barbarian misses a splash from the top rope, allowing Hogan to come in and get some offense in, single-handedly taking out the Powers of Pain for a brief spell before getting dropped with a devastating spike piledriver. In a shocking twist, both members of the Powers of Pain are disqualified for their double-team effort, a dubious decision at best. DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Sleeper, but Hogan is saved by Roberts when it seems all is lost. How this is not a DQ on Roberts makes little sense (and Ventura brings it up). DiBiase reapplies the hold, but Hogan breaks it by backing up into the corner. Hogan gets the tag in on Roberts who hits some good-looking offense on DiBiase, the best bumper in the match. Virgil shows up, but gets nailed with a DDT. DiBiase uses the distraction to his benefit by eliminating Roberts milliseconds later, the match coming down to Hogan vs. The Million Dollar Man. As one might predict, Hogan snags the W with his patented leg drop. A great example of "Hogan Was Really A Heel All Along" booking as this "victory" is about as tainted as could be, 3-out-of-4 members of DiBiase's team getting eliminated through shady DQs. I'll give it a half-point for DiBiase's outstanding efforts. (0.5/5)

Sean Mooney is in the back with "The Macho King" and Zeus to hype up the No Holds Barred pay-per-view special. He sends things over to "Mean" Gene who is standing with Brutus Beefcake and a sweat-covered Hulk Hogan. I wonder how many people actually purchased that show. Sherri shows up, throws some powder in Hogan and Beefcake's faces, and the heroes get beaten down by the heels.

Vince McMahon's booming voice hypes up the remaining two Survivor Series matches, which makes some sense because most would think the show was over now that Hogan had wrestled. I'm guessing even Hogan's biggest fan knew that the crowd was going to leave happier if they actually got to see a halfway decent wrestling match before they went home.

Sean Mooney is in the back with "Ravishing" Rick Rude and his squadron. Rude and Hennig are awesome, but even more awesome are Rude's tights.

It's time for our next bout - Rude's Brood vs. Roddy's Rowdies - Mr. Perfect, The Fabulous Rougeaus, and Rick Rude taking on Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and the Bushwhackers. Perfect start things off for his team, finding himself the whipping boy for all four members of the opposing team before tagging in a hesitant Jacques Rougeau. Between Hennig's selling and Rougeau's schtick, this is already considerably better than the laborious previous match. Snuka lands his splash from the top and Jacques is out, quickly replaced by Rude. The noticeably quicker tags and greater abundance of high spots really helps keep this one moving, my biggest gripe about the previous three matches being just how slow-paced they were even early on. Piper, far from a great mat worker, really does well in this setting too, getting the crowd into a frenzy and even pulling off an elimination via a piledriver on Ray Rougeau. With the heels down 4-2, Perfect tries to slow down their momentum, wearing down Hot Rod with a front headlock. Meanwhile, Rude does a nice job of "working the corner" as Steve Austin would call it. Bushwhacker Butch comes in, but can't put away Perfect either. Luke gets tagged in and has no more luck than his tag partner. Piper gets a huge pop by imitating Rude, but when Butch tries a taunt of his own, Perfect rolls him up. Piper comes in and attempts his own roll-up, but Perfect is too resilient. After taking a heck of a beating, Hennig is able to make the tag and Rude comes in, taking some offense from Luke before knocking him out with the Rude Awakening and evening things up. Good spot with Snuka kicking out of a Perfect pinfall attempt and Hennig hopping all the way onto the ref's back. The rest of the match isn't flawless, but it tells a strong story and offers far more dynamic and intense action (as well as the continued excellence of Perfect here) than any of the matches that came before it. I'm not a huge fan of Survivors matches (as this review is no doubt making clear), but this is one I'd definitely watch again. (3.5/5)

Good heel promo from Rude's Brood. Absolutely awesome interview from the Ultimate Warrior's team next. My god, Warrior is absolutely insane here. I'm not sure I understood a single word he said until the last two words (when he said his name). (+1)

The Heenan Family is already in the ring - Andre The Giant, Haku, Arn Anderson, and...Bobby "The Brain" Heenan himself. The story goes that Tully Blanchard failed a drug test the day of the show, which is why he was pulled out in the last minute. As for the match...Before Warrior can make his entrance, the heels beat up on the faces. Warrior explodes into the ring (without music) and clotheslines Andre out of the ring, the crowd going bonkers for him. Andre is then counted out, this match basically ending before it even starts. Anderson comes in for his team and goes back and forth with Neidhart. On the outside, Andre gets hit with some additional boots and stomps by Warrior as he leaves the arena, irritating the hell out of Ventura. Neidhart gets eliminated next, followed by Haku and then Marty Jannetty, Shawn Michaels and Arn Anderson especially getting some time to showcase their talent. The appeal of this one to modern viewers will certainly be the final 10 minutes or so, a rare opportunity to see the Heartbreak Kid, Enforcer, and Ultimate Warrior all sharing the ring at the same time. Bobby Heenan gets trounced in the end to wrap up a match that doesn't offer the quality action that the previous one did, but was considerably more fun than the other "main event" battle starring Hogan and Zeus (thanks to Heenan's bumping, Warrior's energy, and Arn Anderson injecting the match with some subtle character work that tells a much more interesting story than one would expect). (2.5/5)



With a surprisingly not woeful 2.5-out-of-5 on my ol' watchability scale, Survivor Series 89' actually earned an identical score as SummerSlam 89' and higher than the InVasion show. Color me surprised. What helped things were the fun video opening, interview segments out of a peak-era Ultimate Warrior, and the fact that the heels of the era, namely Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, Arn Anderson, and Ted DiBiase are such pros that they carry their matches to being watchable (at least for stretches if not their entirety). On the negative side, Hulk Hogan not only looks out of place in the midcard, but out of ideas on how to maintain the crowd's interest without embarrassing himself and others. Randy Savage, one of my all-time faves, blends into his surroundings in a bout that needed more of him. With only 5 matches, the bouts go considerably longer than they have any need to and the fact that there is not a single match that deviates from the Survivors stipulation makes things awfully repetitive. Recommended to only fans who already know they like this sort of thing.

FINAL RATING -  High Risk Maneuver




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