WWE Survivor Series 2003

Survivor Series 2003

Dallas, Texas - November 2003

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into the show, Brock Lesnar is the WWE Champion while Goldberg holds the World Heavyweight Championship. Rob Van Dam is the Intercontinental Champion and Big Show is the US Champion. Molly Holly holds the Womens' Championship, Tajiri is the Cruiserweight Champion, the WWE Tag Team Champions are The Basham Brothers, and the Dudleys are in the midst of their 8th World Tag Team Championship reign.

COMMENTARY: Michael Cole & Tazz (SmackDown), Lawler and Ross (RAW)

Survivor Series 2003 kicks off with a rap from the now-tweenerish John Cena running down his team's opponents tonight - Brock Lesnar, A-Train, Matt Morgan, Nathan Jones, and The Big Show. Calling it Cena's team is actually a mislabel too because Cena is really the relative low man on the Team Angle totem pole, partnering up with Chris Benoit, Hardcore Holly, Bradshaw, and Kurt Angle himself. Holly gets himself eliminated within the first minute by going after Lesnar before the bell. The story there is that Lesnar legitimately injured Holly months earlier and was now hell-bent on revenge. Almost just as rapidly, A-Train gets taken out by Bradshaw and then Bradshaw is pinned by Big Show soon after, this match taking no time at all to boil down to the workers people might be interested in (though Jones and Morgan, while fresh on the scene, wouldn't end up doing much in the company). The heels get some heat by beating down on Benoit for awhile before we eventually get a hot tag to Kurt Angle that blows up the whole match and reignites the crowd. Morgan and Jones get eliminated by the red-hot Olympic Gold Medalist, but Angle is snubbed out himself, exiting the match earlier than I expected. Now just a two-on-two match, Benoit takes the fight to Lesnar, cutting down the much larger opponent and locking in the Crossface three times before eliminating Benoit in an outright shocking turn of events that gets the audience on their feet. Benoit nearly eliminates Big Show as well, but its Cena whol eventually gets the pin after an F-U. I was very pleasantly surprised to see Benoit get such a clean win over Lesnar and the crowd reaction shows they were too. Good spotlight moment for Cena as well and even Jones and Morgan looked decent enough here to work as long as their minutes were kept short and their inexperience was hidden. I wouldn't call this an essential viewing, but it was certainly one of the better booked Survivors matches I've seen. (3/5)

Vince McMahon is backstage giving some advice to Shane McMahon before walking into Stone Cold. 

Lita challenges for Molly Holly's Womens' Championship in the second bout of the evening. This match didn't really have me engaged at all, though it wasn't offensive or anything. Just kinda there and over within 5 minutes (it was actually 7 minutes when I checked - and I'm not sure if that means it was better or worse than I thought). (1.5/5)

After a video package recapping their lengthy feud, it is time for Shane McMahon vs. Kane in an Ambulance Match. Shane goes right at Kane when he gets to the ring and the match swiftly turns into a battle of weaponry, Shane using a chair and Kane going for the steel steps. Shane ends up setting Kane on a table and driving a TV monitor into his skull before taking to the top rope and hitting his trademark elbow through the table. Hey, credit to Shane and Kane here - they wasted absolutely no time in getting to the crazy high spots. Shane takes off to the backstage area and Kane pursues him, the two ending up in the parking garage. Shane strikes from behind with a kendo stick and then steps into a white SUV and backs up the truck into Kane! Kane goes through a glass parking attendant booth and Shane gloats, believing the fight to be over. Shane calls for an ambulance and tries to strap Kane onto the gurney, but Kane sits up and the fight continues, the two making their way back in front of the live crowd. Kane gets some offense in, but Shane won't stay down, eventually ramming the Demon headfirst into the side of the ambulance before using the ambulance door to bash in his face twice more (the second shot, which Kane takes dead-on, looks particularly brutal). Kane fights back and looks like he might have the match won, but Shane kicks the door open and lands a series of big shots followed by a tornado DDT onto the floor (kinda). Shane grabs a trash can and Kane takes yet another unprotected shot to the head. Shane then sets Kane up for one of the craziest spots I've seen - a pseudo-Coast to Cost (or Driveby, really) from the top of the ambulance into a trash in front of Kane's face (with Shane's fall being cushioned by some sort of box that just happened to be there). The two end up fighting inside the ambulance itself, Kane refusing to stay down and then using his remaining strength to repeatedly slam Shane back-first into the ambulance's side. Kane continues his punishment for awhile before spiking him with a tombstone onto the arena floor to seal the deal. The right man won, the right spots happened, and it never really got too dull or tedious. Good enough for me. (3/5)

Before the next bout, we get a tease of the impending Lesnar/Goldberg match. The segment really highlights how much Lesnar needed a mouthpiece, while Goldberg, the should-be silent warrior, doesn't fare much better with his script. 

Jonathan "The Coach" Coachman makes his way down the aisle for an unnecessary promo that was on the brink of earning negative points, but is saved by the inclusion of Dallas Mavericks' owner Mark Cuban getting in a shoving match with Eric Bischoff and then getting dropped by a Randy Orton RKO. I was surpised at how fresh this segment still came off despite how dated it may appear on paper. Simple stuff, really, but the crowd ate it up and Orton got great heat. (+1)

Oh god - The Bashams are up next and, by this point, were officially the playthings of Shaniqua, their dominatrix manager. WWE was known as being a pretty tasteless product in 2003, but this gimmick may have been the craziest. Challenging them for the World Tag Team Championships are Los Guerreros, the home state heroes. There are 5 personalities all heavily involved and constantly moving in this match, but the only guy really worth watching is Eddie, who is just fantastic throughout. A match like this benefits from its breakneck pace as the crowd never loses interest and the eventual "comedy" spots involving Shaniqua get solid reactions. Also, by never slowing down into an actual wrestling match, the finish makes total sense as, by refusing to play a game of human chess, the Guerreros' energy ends up costing them a quick pin. Inoffensive, average bout. (2.5/5)

Alright - Team Austin (comprised of Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Shawn Michaels, and The Dudleys) vs. Team Bischoff (Chris Jericho, Christian, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, and Randy Orton) in a classic Survivors Match. The storyline coming into this was that Austin, who was Co-GM of RAW, had been banned from getting physically involved with any WWE Superstar as long as he was Co-GM. However, if his team could defeat Bischoff's team here, he would win back the right kick ass. Of course, were he to lose, Bischoff would become the sole GM of RAW and Austin would be sent packing. The crowd is CRAZY into this match - almost to the level of the legendary 5-on-5 match at Canadian Stampede in 97'. Huge "Austin" chant, then an "HBK" one, then one for tables and an "RVD" chant - the babyfaces are all just mega-over, which carries this match a long way as in the in-ring action, while certainly good, doesn't start off too outrageous. Steiner is the first man out, which isn't a shocker considering his WWE run didn't blow the roof off of the WWE fanbase and, work-wise, he'd lost a step from his glory days when somewhat-sloppy ass-kicking was enough for him to get by as predominantly tag guy. Everyone else, Henry included, works pretty smoothly (though Henry doesn't last much longer than Steiner). Booker T and Rob Van Dam also have quick exits, which is surprising considering that with the talent you have in the ring and the overness of those involved, this match could've really been stretched the way the 2016 Survivor Series headline tag match was. Before you know it, the Dudleys are gone and the match is now a 3-on-1 with Michaels forced to take on Jericho, Christian, and Orton. I'm a Michaels fan, but they're definitely leaning too heavily into "Michaels as Christ Figure" territory for me. The Passion of the Christ wouldn't hit movie theatres until the next year, but Michaels puts on a similar performance over the next several minutes, bleeding profusely and just getting dismantled by the heels. Miraculously, he is able to catch Christian with a superkick and the match is now 2-on-1. I really like the semi-fortuitous "capper" of this match being Michaels forced to square off against arguably his two biggest rivals from 2003 - Chris Jericho and Randy Orton. Jericho and Michaels always had good chemistry, so the crowd is very into it as Michaels misses a Sweet Chin Music but manages to counter the Walls of Jericho into an inside cradle to survive. Jericho, with nothing to lose, goes after Michaels with a chair and taunts Austin as he leaves - smart heel work there. From here, the "overbooking" starts but I found it to be pretty compelling, so I ain't complaining. Besides, Michaels just somehow surviving without any sort of shenanigans would've been completely unbelievable while Orton finishing him with a clean RKO would've been a bit anti-climactic considering that this match is supposed to be about Steve Austin. By this point, though, all of the focus was on Michaels, so the writers made a good move by inserting a ref bump and an Eric Bischoff run-in into the mix. The actual finish truly surprised me (I had not seen the bout before), a testament to how strong the false finishes were in the closing minutes. In The Observer, Dave Meltzer awarded this one 4.25 stars, putting in contention for Match of the Year honors. I thought the finishing stretch was really good, but the blood was excessive and aside from the heat of the crowd, the actual wrestling for the first 10-12 minutes was just average. I think the emotion of the night might've weighed into Meltzer's review more than the actual bell-to-bell action. (3.5/5)

After shaking hands with Michaels and walking him to the back, Steve Austin comes out for a final goodbye to the Lone Star State. As Austin had retired at WrestleMania XIX and hindsight tells us that he would go on to make many, many more appearances for the WWE as soon as a month after this, this "moment" doesn't stand as a "moment" at all. Austin gets a little teary-eyed and we do get to see him beat the hell out of Coachman (which is a plus), but this is still nothing to seek out.

The next match, on the other hand, is something to seek out if you're into completely one-sided, very, very bloody beatdowns. The Undertaker/Vince McMahon Buried Alive is difficult to watch - McMahon blades from the very first punch and it looks like he's severed an artery instantly, the blood pouring out in a steady stream all over the ring. Puddles of blood form everywhere he steps as the commentary team graphically describes the scene. It is stomach-churning stuff for the majority of the minutes this match is on screen, the only salvation being the fact that eventually McMahon's awful wound starts to clot. After leveling Vince with a nasty, unprotected shovel shot, Taker carries the corpse of the CEO over to the burial plot, only for McMahon to hit the Phenom with a low blow. Taker still has this one sewn up, but the Big Red Machine Kane makes his shocking second appearance of the night to help Vince bury his brother. I'm not sure who a match like this is supposed to appeal to but aside from the shock value of seeing McMahon lose pint after pint of blood, there was nothing to this. The "twist" ending  wasn't really a twist as, even in 2003, Kane and Undertaker had circled each other and been storyline-involved for more than a couple stretches. In fact, we'd see similar scenarios play out again after this feud, Kane being the semi-automatic gap filler whenever Undertaker needed a foe. (1/5)

Main event time - Triple H challenging Goldberg for the WWE World Championship. Like most of Goldberg's run, this match was definitely not designed to highlight his gifts or aura, though it also isn't a show-stealing performance out of Triple H who looks completely bloated from what I'm guessing was heavy steroid use at the time. Goldberg controls early, but his previously-damaged ankle ends up costing him control and Triple H targets it for the next stretch. Typical main event shenanigans ensue with some ref bumps, some Evolution interference, and some sledgehammer shots. Re-watching Goldberg's run in WCW in 97' showed me that part of the fun with Goldberg was that he was constantly being booked against fresh new opponents that offered a progressively elevated sense of danger - from mirror-image NFL bruisers like Mongo McMichael early on to classic technicians like Curt Hennig later to the crazed Raven's Flock cult to, eventually, the heel kingpin "Hollywood" Hogan, Goldberg's act relied on new contexts and opponents to make it seem like he wasn't just having the same matches over and over. In WWE, by this point, his feud with Triple H was stale and a match like this comes across as paint-by-numbers. Giving credit to where its due, part of me was convinced Triple H was going to leave with the title here, but he actually did the job and the crowd appreciated it. On the bad side, though, this meant the rivalry would continue for no apparent reason into December. (2/5)


Survivor Series 2003 is almost a perfect encapsulation of the mostly intolerable Ruthless Aggression Era. Gratuitous gore in the Buried Alive and Team Austin/Team Bischoff matches, tasteless sex-charged characters in the World Tag Team Title match, and lame attempts to microwave moments from the past just for the hell of it (reigniting the Kane/Taker feud, giving Austin an unnecessary and soon-to-be-meaningless "send off," letting Michaels relive his Royal Rumble ironman days) are all over the card. On the positive side, a handful of wrestlers get some earned spotlight time, namely the freshly-turned John Cena, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero, but I wouldn't start here if you're craving a peak performance from any of the three. With a score of 2.5-out-of-5 and very little to recommend beyond getting to see Vince McMahon almost die, this one earns a...

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver