WWE Royal Rumble 1990
Orlando, FL - January 1990
CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the WWE World Champion was Hulk Hogan, the Intercontinental Champion was The Ultimate Warrior, the World Tag Team Champions were the Colossal Connection, Andre the Giant and Haku, and there was no longer a Women's Champion (the title having essentially been retired when Rockin' Robin was released sometime in late 89'/early 90').
The opening contest is The Fabulous Rougeaus vs. The Bushwhackers. Jacques is sporting a full beard, which is a bit jarring. As Ventura notes, this is a real clash of styles - the Bushwhackers known for their brawling and the Rougeaus known for their technical skill, teamwork, and quickness. The Aussies control early with their incredibly simple offense and the crowd eats it all up. The Rougeaus show patience, though, and are eventually able to get some offense in. This sort of match isn't my cup of tea as its a touch too "silly" and the 'Whackers are just too limited in what they can do, but at least the Rougeaus get some time to show off their agility and arrogance. The crowd pops huge for the hot tag and even more once Jimmy Hart gets pulled into the fray. I like the extra twists towards the end as it really does seem like the Rougeaus have it sewn up at one point. Not a match I'd ever recommend or consider a great showcase of the French Canadians, but there are worse openers out there. (1.5/5)
"The Genius" Lanny Poffo takes on Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake next. This was part of the on-going Hogan & Beefcake/Genius & Mr. Perfect feud and was a prelude to the eventual Perfect/Beefcake match at WrestleMania VI. I was underwhelmed with this one despite being a fan of Poffo. The crowd is into Beefcake's act but I don't know why. He's always just seemed a bit awkward and lumbering in the ring to me and his offense always seemed weak. Poffo is a more imaginative and fun worker to watch but not enough to make this match actually good. The best part of the bout was the post-match run-in by Mr. Perfect, Hennig bringing the intensity and intention that the rest of the match seemed to lack. (1/5)
After some words from the Heenan Family, we go to our next contest - an "I Quit" match between "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. I'm not sure what the thought or storyline behind this match was as I don't recall Garvin or Valentine being particularly over and this is a fairly big spotlight. Also, while Garvin and Valentine were known for their toughness and ability to put on hard-fought matches, after the light comedy of the two matches before this, these two putting on an NWA-like brawl comes off as really out-of-place. Maybe they thought it would get over with the Florida crowd? Who knows. Despite this being an "I Quit" match, both Garvin and Valentine go for covers at various times and neither attempt any sort of submission or target a body part (at least early on). I guess it makes sense that because submission matches were such a rarity the fact that they attempt pinfalls multiple times is supposed to be their "natural instinct" kicking in. Less explainable is how Garvin's knee brace protects him from the figure four leglock, a move he literally laughs off. After hitting him with his legendary chops and headbutts, Garvin locks in the Indian Deathlock, but Valentine grabs the ropes and the ref breaks it up (though its unclear why as this match couldn't end in a DQ anyway). Eventually, Jimmy Hart tears the "Hammer Jammer" off of Garvin and Valentine re-applies the figure four, but Garvin counters it before turning over in a spirited sequence. This far into the match, Garvin and Valentine both attempt to end the match with pins (which is just stupid at this point). Garvin tears off Valentine's brace and it would seem like this would play into the finish (with Garvin beating Valentine with his "own medicine" by applying the figure four), but the match goes on for a couple more minutes before Garvin uses a sharpshooter to get the win (a move that puts more pressure on the lower back rather than the knee). I can see some people digging this match (in fact, I've read some reviews that consider it an unheralded 4-star gem), but I didn't. A point awarded for Garvin's chops and some of the other stiff sequences, but the tone and execution of this match never clicked with me - largely due to the pinfall attempts late in the match, Garvin's random goofiness, and Valentine just not being a super engaging personality. (2/5)
Brother Love is out next and he welcomes his guest, "The Queen of the WWE" Sensational Sherri. As I wrote in my review of the 89' Survivor Series, I like how these old WWE shows would offer a break in the action to do a special segment (in that case, a Warrior/Rude posedown). After running her down (without actually naming her), including some fat-shaming from Jesse Ventura, Sapphire comes out as the next guest. The whole point of the segment is to draw heat by having Sapphire get cut off until she slaps the taste out of the mouth of Sherri, ultimately leading to Savage and Dusty running down and getting into a brawl. Its legitimately hard to watch Sapphire get berated, but that's the point; this is an effective segment. It is especially great because the Florida crowd is clearly losing their shit seeing Dusty again, especially once he gets to give Brother Love his comeuppance. (+1)
Before his match, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan cuts a promo against his opponent - The Big Bossman. I wouldn't call this an all-time great hoss fight, but this is still much better than I expected, largely thanks to the performance of the Bossman. When he was "on," Ray Traylor was an absolute beast - solid offense, great selling, surprising agility, good pacing. Duggan is fine, but I've always found him to be a one-note performer. He's either dominating and knocking guys around or he's walking around the ring in a daze - there's really just nothing in-between for him. The finish protects both guys, but still comes off as a bit of a disappointment considering that the rest of the match was solid. Another average match. (2.5/5)
We get a series of mini-promos from a bunch of tonight's entrants, including Hercules, Earthquake, and...The Uuuultimate Waaarrior! The Warrior's promo is obviously insane, but what's noteworthy about it is that he mentions Hogan by name - a not-so-subtle nod to their impending rivalry, something I'm not sure was even in the ether yet. After cutting back to Tony and Jesse, we get even more promos, starting off with "The Macho King" Randy Savage. This is one of my favorite Savage promos, actually, just because its so off-the-wall, like its been pieced together by some sort of Macho Man AI. Jake Roberts' promo is quite good too. The series wraps up with words from the Hulkster (no surprise), who looks like he's poured a liter of olive oil all over himself. (+1)
Here we go, main event time - the 1990 Royal Rumble match. Ted DiBiase comes out first, followed by the popular "Birdman" Koko B. Ware. The irony here is that DiBiase paid for the #30 spot at the previous Rumble. The Million Dollar Man eliminates Ware, but Marty Jannetty comes in at #3 (to a sizeable pop). This is also the first year where wrestlers' entrance themes play as they come down the aisle, which is kinda cool. Jannetty and DiBiase go through a quality sequence of action, but Jannetty ends up elimating himself with an errant crossbody. Jake "The Snake" comes out at #4 to a *massive* pop. I don't recall if these two were already feuding, but if not, their work together here might've rung a bell in McMahon's head to pair them up. Savage comes in (no entrance music) at #5 and we've got three Hall of Famers going at it. Savage's outfit is outrageous, by the way, heavily inspired by the "tropical" locale. Roberts ends up tied in the ropes, but is fortunately saved by another super-over face, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper! Talk about a loaded batting order. Piper releases Roberts, which doesn't make sense, but whatever, at least Ventura notes it. Piper and Roberts team up to try to eliminate Savage, but DiBiase makes the save (another unwise move). At #7 we get The Warlord from the Powers of Pain. Bret "The Hitman" Hart comes out at #8 to a decent pop and immediately gets involved with Savage and DiBiase before moving on to the Warlord (even teaming up with Piper to hit him with a double-clothesline). Bad News Brown comes in at #9, but the big moment is the elimination of Jake Roberts soon after, dumped out by Savage and DiBiase. DiBiase nearly gets eliminated by Piper to another big pop, but Savage makes the save (causing Schiavone to wonder aloud if The Macho King has been "paid off"). "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes comes in at #10 to another huge ovation, immediately going after Savage and eventually eliminating him with a HUGE back body drop. At #11 we get the biggest entrant of the match, Andre The Giant, whose career was winding down at this point. Andre comes in and tosses Warlord out rather quickly before getting to work on Piper and Dusty. "The Red Rooster" Terry Taylor comes in next, looking like a total idiot. Piper eliminates Bad News Brown, but Brown refuses to leave, pulling Piper out by his hair. They proceed to brawl outside the ring and then all the way back to the dressing room. I'm now wondering if this feud - which culminated in a match at WrestleMania VI - was meant to be a not-so-subtle nod to Piper's legendary fight sequence with Keith David from They Live. Ax of Demolition comes in next as The Rooster gets eliminated by Andre. Ax goes after Andre, continuing their feud over the Tag Team Titles. A loud "Weasel" chant breaks out as Bret and Dusty work on DiBiase, who has now been in the ring for 20+ minutes. Haku comes in next and goes after Ax, saving his tag team partner Andre from any more damage. Smash from Demolition comes in at #15 and we get a prelude to the Tag Team Title match that would come at WrestleMania VI. Bret gets eliminated, but his exit gets ignored (I have to admit to missing it myself). Akeem comes in at #16 and Tony notes that, with 8 men in the ring, we've now hit a peak number of guys in the ring.Demolition team up and get rid of Andre to a huge pop, the number in the ring back down to 6. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka comes in at #17 to a decent response, but with Savage, Piper, Roberts, and Andre out, this one is lacking some star power at this point. Superfly gets rid of Akeem, the African Dream not lasting too long. This Rumble is famous for DiBiase's Ironman performance, but its worth noting how long Dusty survives, the American Dream putting in quite a few minutes. Dino Bravo comes out (to crickets) at #18. His tag partner, "The Canadian" Earthquake, comes out next. He eliminates Dusty almost immediately and then Ax from Demolition. With Andre's career winding down and Akeem no longer much of a threat to anyone, Quake would get a sizable push in 1990, eventually feuding with Hogan in the summer, which explains why he is made to look strong here. Neidhart comes in at #20, teaming with Smash and Haku to try to eliminate Earthquake. Eventully nearly everyone teams together to eliminate Earthquake before going back to brawling among themselves. I like the psychology there - even if it is pretty inconsistent with the rest of the match (where people made all sorts of saves for no reason). The Ultimate Warrior comes in at #21 to a loud ovation...but, rather surprisingly, maybe not as big as the one Jake Roberts got earlier. Maybe the crowd was just tiring at this point? Warrior eliminates Bravo and then mixes it up with Snuka and Smash. There's a great moment here where Neidhart and Warrior deliver chest chops to DiBiase, going back-and-forth as the crowd erupts. At #22 we get Rick "The Model" Martel. Haku eliminates Smash with a thrust kick on the apron but it seems to almost go unnoticed. Neidhart nearly eliminates Martel, but The Model holds on by landing on the apron. In comes Tito Santana, who goes straight for Martel, his former tag partner in the Strike Force. The Honky Tonk Man follows at #24. Neidhart gets eliminated awkwardly, but the big story is how Warrior clotheslines DiBiase over the top soon after, the crowd erupting in cheers. Warrior then goes to work on Honky Tonk but isn't able to toss him over. The crowd is up on their feet for the next entrant - The Hulkster, Hulk Hogan! Hogan comes in and eliminates Snuka with a clothesline and then sets his sights on Haku (who eliminates with a big boot). As Santana tries to eliminate Martel, Warrior ends up eliminating him, the numbers now down to just 4. As Honky chokes out Hogan in the corner, Warrior and Martel do battle in the opposite corner. Shawn Michaels comes out next, but his entrance is overshadowed by Hogan eliminating Honky. Warrior rapidly eliminates Michaels and then Martel and we get one of the most famous Rumble moments ever - an epic staredown between Hogan and Warrior. The crowd goes absolutely insane as they come to blows, neither man able to overpower the other. After criss-crossing the ring, they eventually crash into eachother, both men collapsing in the center of the ring. The Barbarian comes in at #27 and starts dropping elbows on both men, deflating the crowd a bit. For some reason, Rick Rude jumps the gun and comes out before the buzzer sounds. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but regardless, it makes perfect sense that Rude would want to rush in and capitalize on a weakened Warrior. The best bit of storytelling happens next, though, as Warrior saves Hogan from an elimination at the hand of the heels but then, soon after, when attempting to get rid of the whole lot, ends up costing Warrior the match. At #29 we get Hercules, with the #30 spot already known to be Mr. Perfect. Hercules eliminates Barbarian with a back body drop and we're down to the final 4. Perfect and Rude team up and end up eliminating Hercules before going after Hogan. The final eliminates are tremendous, Rude ending up going over by accident when Hennig tries to climb back into the ring after being sent through the middle rope. Perfect hits his PerfectPlex, but Hogan no sells it, eventually sending Perfect into the post and then running roughshod over him before tossing him all the way over the top turnbuckle. One of the best, most star-studded Royal Rumbles ever. (4/5)
With a Kwang Score of 2.6-out-of-5, the 1990 Royal Rumble is not super impressive by "quantifiable" metrics. None of the undercard or midcard matches deliver, though fans of old school NWA-style wrestling may enjoy the Garvin/Valentine much considerably more than I did. As a whole, though, the show is highly watchable and the Rumble itself is one of the best ever - absolutely loaded with talent and featuring some truly iconic moments (Jake Roberts' using Damian to eliminate Andre the Giant, the first Hogan/Warrior showdown).
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
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