Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler for Sheamus' World Heavyweight Championship kicked off the show. Its a little weird watching a match like this 10 years later as Sheamus has become an elder statesman and midcard fixture while Ziggler is basically still the exact same character in the exact same spot (very occasional main eventer but mostly just an afterthought who can be counted to deliver good matches) as he was here. That being said, the crowd on this show had no such foresight and were pretty into this match (and Ziggler specifically as, by this point, he had built up quite a fan base who felt he was essentially being "held down" after years of delivering good-to-great work). Sheamus, meanwhile, was in his least successful babyface run but was slowly but surely winning over crowds with his own solid in-ring performances. Sheamus had to overcome a fair amount of internet haters - myself included at times - who saw him as nothing more than just a "muscle guy" (and Triple H workout buddy) but if you look at his work since debuting in ECW, he had had quite a few decent matches by this point with guys like Goldust and Christian (and they weren't "carry jobs" either). Anyway, a good enough opener but nothing I'd go out of my way to see necessarily especially because I'm sure these two have probably wrestled on TV over a hundred times by this point. (3/5)
Next up - Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez in a Tuxedo Match. Yeah. This is about as good as one would expect, which is not very. This went under 5 minutes and still seemed longer than it should've been. Santino was somehow the United States Champion at this time but still had trouble just destroying a ring announcer? I get that he's a comedy character, but keep in mind, he held the title for over 5+ months. This was something that would've made sense on TV maybe but even children would've found this moronic and bland. A half-point because this didn't go too long and I can think of even worse matches I've seen, though there aren't many. (0.5/5)
Cody Rhodes challenged Christian for his Intercontinental Championship in the next match. This is another one that's a little weird to watch in 2022 as Cody Rhodes has only recently returned to the WWE after spearheading the inception of AEW and Christian is working in AEW as part-time wrestler/most-of-the-time manager after being essentially denied the opportunity to perform in that role in the WWE. Even back then I remember thinking Rhodes was a better in-ring worker than most believed him to be, though I do think he struggled to connect with live audiences from bell-to-bell until he got onto the indies and was able to develop his skills in front of smaller crowds. Christian, meanwhile, is just a great, great worker and could absolutely still go at this point (and was back to working as a babyface after his career-best run as a heel in 2011). The crowd wasn't super into this, but I found it to be quite good, arguably Rhodes' best singles match up till this point. The major thing that hurts this match is that Rhodes really hadn't found his best heel persona yet and Christian, who had done masterful work as a heel a year earlier, was in an ill-fitting babyface role as "The Guy Fighting For Edge's Legacy," which made him seem like he was still stuck in Edge's shadow rather than as a top star in his own right. (3/5)
A Fatal Fourway Tag to find the number one contenders for the WWE Tag Team Championships was up next featuring The Usos, Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel, The Prime Time Players, and Epico and Primo. There are some cool spots in this match, but the Usos were not yet a truly great team and Kidd would eventually find a much better partner in Cesaro. The Prime Time Players were the team getting pushed, but even their act wasn't quite there (they had much better matches a few years later during their second run as a team). Epico and Primo were talented, but lacked personality. All this makes for a match that showcases good athleticism and action, but nothing that really engaged me. Abraham Washington turns on Epico and Primo in the end to help the Players win. A couple months later, Washington made an inappropriate joke about Kobe Bryant being a rapist and got fired for it. Still, I really wonder how long he would've lasted considering the average lifespan of a manager in modern WWE. (2.5/5)
Triple H cut a promo in the ring to build up to his match against Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam 2012. I don't think I've ever seen that show. Maybe I'll review it sometime...
Layla defended her WWE Divas Championship against Beth Phoenix in the next match. This one doesn't get much time but is considerably better than I'm guessing most fans would think as Layla was never known for being a particularly great in-ring worker. I wouldn't call this a "carry job" but her and Phoenix have good chemistry and Layla does a really nice job at "fighting from underneath," holding her own against a much stronger opponent. The finish was a genuine surprise too as Layla got the clean W, though I'm not sure it was as "earned" as it could've been. The match only goes 7 minutes, but the 7 minutes are action-packed and they manage to get the crowd engaged in a feud that, to my knowledge, had very little build on TV. (2.5/5)
Sin Cara vs. Hunico followed. Sin Cara has to be one the biggest flops in WWE history if you consider how big of a star he was in Mexico. This match is a great example of why that flop happened. When Cara wrestles, the lighting changes in the building, which would make sense if he was wrestling in a style that was light years ahead of everyone else...but Cara didn't and the lighting only drew attention to how underwhelming the "biggest star in Mexico" was. His opponent, Hunico, is actually more impressive than Cara, but he's far from awe-inspiring himself and the match they wrestle draws crickets from the audience. Whereas Rey Mysterio, Psicosis, and Juventud Guerrera would perform feats of aerial awesomeness with speeds unheard of in the US in the 90s, Cara and Hunico wrestle at a pace that doesn't seem any faster or more impressive than what Cody and Christian or Sheamus and Ziggler were doing earlier on the show. This isn't a PPV worthy match and it might not even be a TV worthy match. (1/5)
CM Punk defends his WWE Championship against Daniel Bryan and Kane in a triple threat match next. I was expecting this one to be pretty good considering Punk and Bryan had fantastic chemistry and were both over with the crowd, but this exceeded my expectations and might actually be in the top 3-4 Kane matches I've ever seen. From the opening bell, Punk and Bryan are on fire, but the aforementioned Big Red Monster holds his own quite well and seems extra motivated to keep up with the two "indie darlings." What I liked most about this match was how fluid it was with very few noticeable moments or stretches where you might ponder why one of the three was out of the ring for an exorbitant amount of time. Too often in multi-mans you can catch glimpses of a competitor "sleeping" on the floor for no real reason, overselling a basic move usually, but neither Punk or Bryan was ever out of the mix too long and Kane worked well as the lumbering giant who had the power to take out either guy but whose size also made him vulnerable to speedier attacks. I'm on the fence about whether I'd call this a "must watch" as, ultimately, this was a fairly inconsequential title defense for Punk and despite the crowd being hot from beginning to end, I'm not sure it was ever in question who was going to leave with the belt. On the other hand, Bryan and Punk are so great here and even Kane holds his own enough to make this something worth seeking out if you're a big fan of any of the three. (3.5/5)
Ryback squashed two jobbers - Dan Delaney and Rob Grymes (AEW's John Silver) - next. The crowd shat all over this with "Goldberg" chants for almost the entire duration. This was the definition of filler. Ryback hit the Shell Shock on both guys at the same time which was undeniably impressive, but this audience wanted nothing to do with this segment. (1/5)
Main event time - John Cena vs. The Big Show in a steel cage match. The build-up to this match revolved around Vince McMahon wanting to fire GM John Laurenaitis but stopping because...Big Show cut him off in a promo? It made very little sense and resulted in the added stipulation that Big Show is essentially fighting for Laurenaitis' job. Considering how extensively these two worked with each other over the years, there's nothing really fresh about this match-up, Big Show dominating early and Cena selling the punishment for minutes on end. Things pick up a little when Cena gets some offense in, Big Show eventually cutting him off with a reverse powerbomb. Big Show lands a Vader Bomb for 2 and attempts a chokeslam from the top rope but Cena escapes. Show then walks along the top rope and goes for an elbow drop, but Cena rolls away. Big Show tries to crawl out of the ring, but Cena prevents him from making the exit. Cena rallies a bit but can't get the pin. As Cena tries to escape, Laurenaitis and McMahon fight over the door, the Chairman accidentally slamming it on Cena's head. Big Show hits a chokeslam but only gets 2 for what would've been a believable finish. Big Show goes for his knockout punch but ends up decking the referee and then hitting with one too. With everyone knocked out, Big Show looks like he has a clear path to victory but instead of exiting the cage, he just gloats. Big Showmakes his way towards the cell door but is stopped by...Brodus Clay. Then Santino and Alex Riley and Zack Ryder and Kofi Kingston show up too, Big Show getting "screwed" by a whole slew of lower midcarders. Cena then pulls his way towards the door using the bottom rope, nearly escaping but not before delivering his Attitude Adjustment to Big Show and getting the visual pin. Cena climbs out to get the W and hits an AA on Laurenaitis after McMahon fires him.
What a horrendous and goofy finish to a show. (1.5/5)
With a Kwang Score of 2.05-out-of-5, No Way Out 2012 isn't as bad as some might make it out to be. Both World Championship matches are above average, Cody/Christian is pretty good, and the Divas Championship and tag team match are fine if unremarkable. What sinks this show are the main event, needless Santino and Ryback matches, and the poor Sin Cara/Hunico match, all representative of what is considered a low point for the company, an era before Lesnar ended The Streak and really become the company's centerpiece, before The Shield, before the rise of Daniel Bryan and the exciting emergence of The Four Horsewomen, Kevin Owens, and Finn Balor from NXT. With only one match worth checking out - but certainly not essential viewing - this show is a...
FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver
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