After Destiny Child's Michelle Williams (also a Chicago native) sings "America The Beautiful" and another couple of pre-show hype videos, its time for our opening contest - Big Show and Kane defending the WWE Tag Team Championships against the team of Carlito and Chris Masters. This is a perfectly fine opener and plays out pretty much exactly how one would expect as Kane and Big Show "get their shit in" and win the match in under 10 minutes. I was shocked to read that this was Big Show's very first WrestleMania win. Nothing too offensive, but also nothing I'd ever want to revisit. (2/5)
After a word from Shawn Michaels backstage, the Money in the Bank Briefcase was up for grabs in a ladder match between Shelton Benjamin, Matt Hardy, Rob Van Dam, Bobby Lashley, Finlay, and...Ric friggin' Flair. The previous year's Money in the Bank match was hailed as an instant classic, but this one is a bit of a hidden gem. I love the mix of talent here as you have two really athletic high-flyers in Benjamin and RVD, the experienced ladder ace in Matt Hardy, but then three wildcards in powerhouse Lashley, innovative brawler Finlay, and the dirtiest player in the game, Ric Flair, wrestling in a gimmick match unlike anything he'd ever done before in a 30+ year career (at this point). And, while he's not in the whole match, Ric Flair is the quiet MVP (speaking of MVP, the reason he's not in this is because he had not yet debuted, which kinda blew my mind). What I love about Flair's performance is that he doesn't do his shtick or get cutesy at all. Instead, Flair basically just bumps and bumps huge, showing that he could still take an ass-kicking as good as the rest of the pack. He takes a superplex off the ladder early, gets carried out, but then returns later on just to eat another crazy bump off the ladder from a Finlay Shillelagh shot. If seeing Flair take two huge falls isn't enough for you, Shelton Benjamin's acrobatics are also incredible and his execution is flawless here. Still, its Rob Van Dam who is clearly the most over - aside from 'Naitch - and while his offense doesn't look nearly as crisp as Benjamin's, it gets much bigger reactions. I kinda wish the match would've ended with a bigger move rather than just RVD, Hardy, and Shelton brawling atop a pair of ladders before RVD just shoves their ladder over as it just feels a little anticlimactic after an otherwise really fun match. I wouldn't quite call this "must see," but what I like about it is that it isn't your typical ladder match filled with nothing but high-flying or convoluted, choreographed spots. Instead, you get a mix of different styles and wrestlers that you may not see as the "ladder match type." (3.5/5)
Backstage we get a segment with Gene Okerlund, Randy Orton, and Batista. This is followed by some petty McMahon bullshit as, in the ring, The Fink announces that Bret Hart won't be making appearance because he was "uncomfortable" with being on the show. They could've, y'know, just not had him come out. The other 2006 inductees do come out, though, with Vickie Guerrero getting the biggest ovation as she was representing her husband Eddie, who had passed away just 5 or so months before this.
In the ring, Chris Benoit defends his United States Championship against John Bradshaw Layfield. This was an awkward match not because Benoit and Layfield didn't deliver a stiff, physical contest but because it had one foot in "Eddie Tribute Match" and the "Eddie Tribute" stuff was kind of Rey Mysterio's thing too. (There's also the added non-bonus of this being a Chris Benoit match.) At the time, I was a big Benoit fan and didn't see anything in JBL, though I've come around a little bit on that and, at the very least, think he's better than Kane. On re-watch, I was more accepting the finish, but the match still didn't quite "click" for me despite the intensity being there and the live crowd reacting big to the Eddie tribute moments. Not outright bad, but just felt unnecessary on this show. Its weird but maybe if they had had more time, they could've built up to the finish better or made it come across as more of a war? Just a weird match. (2/5)
Edge vs. Mick Foley have the most hardcore match in WrestleMania history next. There's barbwire, there's thumbtacks, there's even a flaming table. Hell, even Lita gets "color" at one point. This match is non-stop action from beginning to end, the crowd loses their mind multiple times, and I like how there is a very clear escalation of violence as the spots get "bigger" as the match progresses. This is the kind of match that one has to believe Foley and Edge worked out from the first to last minute, but because Foley was such a great storyteller and Edge was such a good dance partner, it still comes across as largely organic and character-based, not overly choreographed or convoluted. I do wish they had had maybe a little more time, but there's something to be said for how "tight" this match is kept and Edge and Foley's ability to give space between the big spots for things to register with the audience. People love the Foley/Orton from a year prior and talk about this one being somehow lesser, but I believe this one stands on its own quite well. (4/5)
After a fun backstage segment involving a whole slew of WWE's most famous/infamous "freak" characters, Booker T and Sharmell take on The Boogeyman. This wasn't a mat classic and it wasn't supposed to be, but unlike the Benoit/JBL, this was fun. Sharmell was great here and while I still think she didn't do quite enough in her brief time as an on-screen talent to merit a Hall of Fame induction, she was a terrific partner to Booker T in this feud and in the King Booker run that came not too long after this. The Boogeyman was not a gimmick that could have ever lasted super long, though I am surprised they haven't brought him back multiple times over the years as he did get big reactions and had plenty of physical charisma. Though the in-ring action is slight, this match hits all the notes that it needs to. (2.5/5)
Mickie James challenges Trish Stratus for the WWE Women's Championship match next. This is one of the most memorable women's matches of its era and, arguably, of all time. I'd argue that this may actually be the best mixture of T-&-A, NC-17 action with hard-hitting, physical wrestling that the WWE (or any company?) ever produced - which is not necessarily surprising when you look at who was in the ring. At the time, James was considered one of the best females workers in the US, but I'd still consider her a bit underrated for her creativity and willingness to throw herself into a storyline like this. Its a shame that, despite knocking this storyline and feud out of the park, the writers and creative department would struggle to find meaningful stories for her in the years to come. Now, I can totally see the 100% valid criticisms that this match delves too far into the NC-17 (nearly X-rated even) realm, objectified both women with beyond-suggestive moments, and the fact that James and Trish were essentially forced to crank up the raunch to 11 in order to earn their minutes and keep Vince happy. All those things mean this match hasn't exactly aged well. But what shouldn't be forgotten is everything else about this match. Ignore the blatant misogyny and you are left with an absolutely kick-ass, violent, and smartly-worked wrestling match that just happens to feature James wrestling in what was basically her underwear. And the audience cares about it and reacts to more than just the pseudo-sexual pinfalls. This match delivers on every level, even the skeazy, impure levels that I'd hate to admit enjoying in front of my wife. (4/5)
I'm far from a Mark Henry fan and certainly wasn't one when I first saw this bout, a Casket Match, against The Undertaker, back in 2006. But on re-watch, I must say that this is actually better than I remembered it and surprisingly easy to get through. I once semi-raved about an Undertaker/Kamala match from (I think) 94' and how, even if it was painfully obvious that Undertaker was going to win, I gave credit to the Deadman for still going out there and not only selling for his much less over opponent but also busting out his "greatest hits" in order to make the people happy. Here, Undertaker goes the extra step and performs one of the most impressive over-the-top-rope, running planchas off his career, clearing the casket itself to hit Henry on the floor. Its the kind of bump that the Undertaker didn't need to do, but did anyway, just to give the crowd a "moment." Say what one may about the Undertaker's in-ring performances, but at this point in his career, he was rarely lazy or "phoning it in," even when there was no real reason for him to give 110%. Henry was essentially a tomato can at this stage in his career, still years away from his big Hall of Pain push, and while there was nobody on Earth who believed Henry would end the Phenom's streak, Undertaker takes his offense like a champ and helps Henry deliver a relatively fast-paced match that doesn't waste much time with over-dramatic casket nonsense or needless rest holds. Not a great match by any means, but considerably stronger than I recalled it being. (3/5)
Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon in a Streetfight is next. The crowd was "pro-heel" all night, but Michaels also received some boos just because the company had been playing up the Montreal Screwjob for weeks leading up to this - even re-enacting the Screwjob on Raw only with Shawn getting "screwed" - and Bret Hart had been inducted in the Hall of Fame the night before so the Chicago was extra ready to shower HBK with "You Screwed Bret" chants and whatnot. Still, because Vince was (and is) so loathsome, Shawn had the crowd cheering for him by the end. This has more "Smoke and Mirrors" than the Edge/Foley match from earlier, but this is pretty wild in its own right as Vince took some big hits from a ladder and a trash can. I love Shawn having the match won but refusing to just "beat" McMahon, opting instead to inflict as much punishment as possible (including hitting him with an elbow drop through a table while Vince had a trash can around his head). The cameos from the Spirit Squad and Shane McMahon are nice, but don't lead to any real shift in momentum as Shawn dominates from beginning to end aside from maybe a minute or two of Vince on offense. I wouldn't call this a "must see" match because there are better Vince matches out there, but this was fun for what it was, the crowd was very into it, and I liked Jim Ross's commentary (he really seemed to get a kick out of calling a match where Vince was just getting his ass kicked for minutes on end). (3.5/5)
The World Heavyweight Championship was on the line next as Kurt Angle defended title against Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio. The crowd is decidely pro-Angle and not super into Rey, which is a real shame and definitely detracts from the match. I remember being underwhelmed with this match when it happened so I was surprised by just how awesome the first third of it is. Angle looks like a total animal, suplexing both Orton and Rey halfway across the ring in a great spot. I really liked the pace they cut, but things got wonky once Angle started scoring "blind pins" (submissions actually) on the other competitors. The fact that Angle literally won the match twice just made the crowd upset and played into the predictably of Rey's victory, which would've probably been much better received in nearly any other town in the country (save for maybe NYC and Phillie). I understand wanting to preserve Angle's credibility, but a triple threat match offers so many other ways to do that than having him get screwed out of the title (especially when Mysterio's victory was supposed to be an untarnished "feel good" moment). Mysterio's victory also comes a bit too out-of-nowhere for me as this match runs just short of 10 minutes despite featuring so much good action. With another 4-5 minutes of time, these guys would've probably strung together a much better finishing sequence and its a shame they weren't able to do so because so much of this action was really, really good. (3.5/5)
To cool off the crowd, we get a Playboy Pillow Fight between Candice Michelle and Torrie Wilson. I'll give some credit to Torrie here as she actually performs a couple of honest-to-god wrestling moves. Unfortunately, the crowd has zero interest in anything other than a potential nip slip...despite the ability to use the internet to see these two naked 24/7 anytime they want for free. This is the opposite of the James/Stratus match and, while the women are much more scantily clad, the result actually makes everything less sexy and more tedious and boring. A half point for Torrie's effort, I guess. (0.5/5)
Main event time - Triple H challenging John Cena for the WWE Championship. I don't remember this match being as good as it was, but, at the time, the popular narrative was that John Cena couldn't wrestle and needed to be "carried" and that Triple H was often boring and worked too deliberate of a pace. But Cena is very good, if not quite as good as he would become over the next several years, and Triple H keeps the pace brisk, hits his signature offense with gusto, and bumps and sells huge when he needs to (without laying it on too thick). This is Triple H wrestling a match that isn't about himself, something I'm not sure he pulled off nearly as well in later years when he was tasked to do similar things with Jeff Hardy, Edge, and CM Punk. The other key factor helping this match is the atmosphere. Chicago hated Cena on this night, but Triple H wisely sticks to his heel role for the most part (aside from the huge babyface moment when he hits a crotch chop to a massive ovation). While Cena would put on an even more impressive and colorful performance in front of a hostile crowd at One Night Stand a few months later, I like how Cena keeps his head down in the match and doesn't play to the crowd too much - its the right tenor for a WrestleMania event, for a WWE Championship match, for a bout against a threat as serious as Triple H. I think calling this match a "masterpiece" would be going too far. There's nothing revelatory to find here. This is just a very good match in front of a very hot crowd with a finish that is satisfactory but not special. This match doesn't even come across as a particularly violent or physical "war." But the story is terrific, the character work is subtle but effective, and everything they do works and gets a reaction. I'm not sure they ever topped this one. (4/5)
Though its Kwang Score isn't all that high - a 2.95-out-of-5 - this is rightfully considered one of the best WrestleManias of all time. (Its also important to note that its Kwang score would go up considerably if you took out the Playboy Pillow Fight, which was kind of a "necessary evil" on this show, a filler match between the two strong World Championship bouts.) There are simply not very many shows that deliver as many entertaining matches that are fun and engaging in such different ways. HHH/Cena is nothing like Trish/Mickie and, while they're both "weapon heavy," Vince/HBK and Edge/Foley aren't similar either. Angle/Orton/Mysterio is a bit rushed and features some questionable booking choices, but its highlights are arguably the best bits of actual wrestling on the entire show. Flair's performance in the Money in the Bank match is awesome (even if the rest of the match isn't quite as thrilling). A personal favorite show of mine and one that I'd put firmly in the category of...
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
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