The show kicks off with the Intercontinental Champion, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, defending the title against Goldust, who had only recently turned babyface and had a semi-infamous segment where Jerry Lawler called him a "queer" and he punched him in return. This match was solid but went a touch too long and really seemed to lose the audience after a fairly heated opening 7-8 minutes. As noted earlier, Goldust had only turned babyface semi-recently and it still hadn't been fully "exposed" that he was Dusty Rhodes' son (if I'm not mistaken, that would all come via a sitdown interview with JR later in the year) so the Texas crowd was not 100% behind him. Helmsley and Goldust have good chemistry and there are moments that get big reactions - I really like Hunter's selling of knee damage and the eventual spot with Marlena - but this dragged at times. As JR noted on commentary, Hebner's refereeing was highly questionable at times as he basically let these guys do whatever they wanted on the outside of the ring. There's a certain amount of leeway that happens in any wrestling match, but outright bashing your opponent's legs with the steps would typically be a DQ. (2/5)
The next match - Farooq vs. Ahmed Johnson - has a reputation as being awful, so I was actually a bit surprised how good the first few minutes were. Ahmed was still over and Farooq got a ton of heat doing the Nation of Islam rip-off gimmick. Farooq was no longer as quick and athletic as he'd been in WCW 4-5 years before this, but he was arguably a better seller and a bigger personality. Like in the opener, the referee opted not to call a DQ despite Farooq blatantly using a chair on his opponent. While the spot doesn't look too good, I'll also give some credit to these guys for dishing out something quite rare at the time - a bodyslam on the spine of the chair by Farooq to the Pearl River Powerhouse. When Farooq takes over, the match grinds to a halt and then veers into a rather convoluted, cartoonish mess when they get to a ridiculous electric chair spot that makes Farooq look like a total idiot (and like he may not have any feeling in his testicles?). There's an ugly spinebuster spot and then a DQ finish due to the Nation running in. The first 2-3 minutes of this match were spirited and fun, but they couldn't sustain it. An extra half-point for the post-match table spot (another thing that wasn't super common in WWE yet). Unfortunately, Ahmed's work from here on out only got worse as he was really never the same guy after the injury that sidelined him in 96' as his conditioning dipped noticeably. (1.5/5)
Next up - The Undertaker vs. Vader. This is one of those dream matches that, sadly, never lived up to its potential. By this point, Vader's confidence had been pretty broken and he was no longer the top heel that he was in WCW in the first half of the decade. Not only had Shawn Michaels famously chewed him at SummerSlam (and then, according to rumor, refused to drop the title to him at Survivor Series), but Bret Hart was also reportedly uncomfortable working with him because of his stiffness. I'm guessing as tough as Undertaker was, he wasn't super eager to get in the ring with Vader either as the Deadman, 10 years into his career, had already had his fair share of injuries and surgeries. Put all these ingredients together and you have the makings for a boring slugfest between two guys that weren't super motivated and were outright sloppy at times. The moments that you'd think would get a reaction - Paul Bearer's interference, Undertaker's various sit-ups, Vader's powerbomb and finishing splash - get big reaction, but that's like, what? 23 seconds out of a 13-minute match? Re-watching this many, many years later, I wonder if the plan was for them to have a rematch at WrestleMania XIII, but Vince switched things up when Shawn "lost his smile" (refused to drop the title to Bret). Another dud. (1/5)
After the match, the Undertaker had a bit of a temper tantrum and then yelled at Vince McMahon. People, myself included, sometimes forget how far the WWE was already going towards revealing that Vince was in charge of the WWE close to a full year before the Montreal Screwjob...
A six-man tag match follows pitting Canek, Hector Garza, and Perro Aguayo against the team of Fuerza Guerrera, Heavy Metal, and Jerry Estrada. At the time, I remember thinking how much less exciting these guys were than all the luchadores that were being featured in WCW at the time. I'm guessing that Konnan - and Eric Bischoff - knew that the younger, more acrobatic workers would stand out much more than the older, more traditional luchadores and they were 100% right as this match does not get any big reactions. It doesn't help matters to the viewers at home that nobody on the announce team has the slightest clue as to who any of these wrestlers were (this is why Mike Tenay was so useful to WCW). Also, unlike in WCW, we only get one real crazy dive and while its cool to see Aguayo hit a double stomp in 97' (decades before it would be widely used in the states), the audience is so indifferent that it doesn't register as a big deal at all. The story goes that Vince was nervous about filling the Alamodome (as he should've been - the show was famously "papered" after only selling an estimated 20k-40k seats out of a possible 71k) and thought that a partnership with AAA would help draw...but then probably forgot that to bring in the AAA fans, you might want to actually promote a major AAA match (which I'm guessing, by fan reaction, this wasn't). Weirdly enough, reading other reviews of this show, this match has its fans (maybe it would've come off better if any single one of them had been in attendance). (1/5)
The 1997 Royal Rumble match is next. These are always a bit hard to review because, unless they're really, really great (which this wasn't), they tend to all blend together. The 97' edition is not as star-packed as the ones from 90' or 91', but the WWE roster was in a rebuilding phase at this point after losing some of its biggest names in the previous year - Hall, Nash, Sean Waltman, Jeff Jarrett - and the massive loss of Hogan in the summer of 94' and Savage in December 94'. So, yes, Vince had to add a number of AAA stars into this match (including the notoriously selfish Mil Mascaras), but there are still quite a few big stars in the match and, though Bret Hart was heavily favored due to his on-going rivalry with Shawn Michaels (who was expected to win back the WWE Championship later in the night), its not like Bret didn't have to fight his way through some major main event stars. I doubt anybody expected Mankind or Terry Funk to win, but that didn't stop them from trying to steal the match with some wild brawling and some excellent near-eliminations by the Funker. The Undertaker might not have been at his physical peak, but he was maybe the most universally babyface in the company in 96' and into 97' (as Shawn's "pretty boy" image wasn't a winner with the older male fans, Bret wasn't around for most of 96', and Austin was still *technically* a rule-breaking heel). Speaking of the Undertaker, Vader had defeated him earlier in the show. Goldust, Triple H, and Marc Mero were all upper midcard fixtures, as were Farooq and Ahmed (who continue their feud in the Rumble). Rocky Miavia makes a respectable appearance, though nobody could've predicted that he would go on to be the biggest action movie star of the past 20 years. While the 99' Royal Rumble, for example, undoubtedly happened in a hotter time for the company, I'd still take this edition over it. This Rumble is played straight and feels like a genuine competition with competitors actually working like a victory here would be their ticket to WrestleMania. Aside from the Jerry Lawler spot, there's no comedy. There's no Gillberg. There's no cutesy Santino Marella bit. Fake Diesel and Fake Razor Ramon show up and neither one is treated like a joke (in fact, Fake Diesel is one of the final four). Though the match is remembered for Steve Austin's remarkable performance - and it is absolutely brilliant - people may forget that he doesn't dominate the early going and even fades into the background at times to allow Vader and Taker and Ahmed and Farooq to get showcased. Owen and Bulldog tease a break-up at one point. And the finish. Oh, the finish. Maybe just one or two spaces below Ric Flair's win in 91', I'd rank the finish of this Rumble as one of the best ever executed. Austin gets dumped out by the Hitman, but because the refs are so busy with the chaos between Funk and Mankind on the outside (if I'm not mistaken, Foley was pitching for the two to have a death match at WrestleMania that year), they miss his elimination and he ends up coming in and dumping everyone else out. The crowd's reaction is huge - a mix of cheers, audible shock, and boos that make it clear how money the angle was. The closing minutes alone push this from being a fairly average Rumble for its time to something slightly above. (3.5/5)
Main event time - Shawn Michaels challenging Sid for the WWE World Championship. The finish for this one was really never in question and, because of that, it seems like Shawn works even harder to make Sid look like a super powerful monster. That being said, Shawn definitely spaces out the big spots in order to stretch out a match that would've likely had more action had HBK not also been recovering from the flu (according to the commentators). This isn't nearly as good as the Survivor Series match, but that match exceeded most folks' expectations and the New York crowd was very vocal. The audience at the Alamadome wasn't nearly as interested overall and, while the whole idea of doing this event in San Antonio and building it around Shawn regaining the title was a decent pan, Vince really overestimated Shawn's popularity towards the end of his title run as well as the company's overall popularity (especially in the south, which was historically more welcoming to "classic" southern-style 'rassling rather than the WWE's brand of "sports-entertainment"). But even if the crowd had been more interested, this match relies on too many rest holds to stretch out its duration and the finish is poorly executed (Shawn using the camera to knock Sid out looks awful). Plus, at one point, Sid gets a clean visual pin, a moment that I'd consider wholly unnecessary as it only makes Shawn less likable and credible in front of an audience that wanted to cheer for him, but maybe were a little turned off by the Sexy Boy gimmick and increasingly irritable on-screen persona. Like at the previous In Your House, its somehow Sid that comes out of this match as the guy I'd want to cheer. Not a terrible match, but not good. (2/5)
I must've seen this show a half-dozen times after it happened as I had recorded it on VHS. The Rumble, as a whole, isn't great, but the finish is probably within the top 5 ever. Michaels/Sid isn't as good as their Survivor Series match, but that match has unique elements that could never have been replicated or even safely predicted. Even if Michaels had been 100% going into the rematch, the San Antonio crowd just wasn't really "there" for him as much as the hype needed them to be. The rest of the show features below average wrestling or, in the case of the opening bout, good wrestling that is stretched so long that it becomes bad. With a Kwang Rating of 1.83-out-of-5, Royal Rumble 97' should be in that DUDleyville range, but because of how great Austin and Hart's performances are (with nods also to Foley and Funk), I'm giving this a...
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
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