In Your House #15: A Cold Day in Hell

In Your House #15: A Cold Day in Hell - May 1997

Richmond, Virginia

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: The Undertaker holds the WWE World Championship coming into the show, Owen Hart is the Intercontinental Champion, The British Bulldog is the European Champion, and, together, Hart and Bulldog also hold the WWE World Tag Team Championships. 

COMMENTARY: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler


Tonight's show is one I remember (not fondly) from my childhood. I think I could even dig up a VHS copy if I searched my parents' basement hard enough. Still, this one got far fewer rewatches than Royal Rumble 92' or SummerSlam 91'. Extra trivia note - Aside from his appearance in multi-man matches (specifically the previous February's In Your House: Final Four), this is Steve Austin's first main event singles match on pay-per-view.


The show starts off with an interesting clash of styles - Flash Funk (aka 2 Cold Scorpio) taking on Hunter Hearst Helmsley (aka "Triple H") with Chyna by his side. As much as I like 2 Cold and can overlook the garrish outfit, there's something about seeing him in a WWE ring that always seemed "off." Is it that the ropes don't provide him the spring needed to capture the amazing airtime he showcased in WCW? Is it that the crowd's relative indifference makes his ECW run seem like a bigger deal? Is it just that the WWE's cameras never seem to capture his high-flying the right way? Whatever it is, what could've been and should've been a sleeper Match of the Night ends up being a match you might sleep through. There's some remarkable bumping out of Trips late in the match and the finish is pleasantly clean, but, overall, its just not that hot an opener. (1.5/5)

After some words out of Ken Shamrock, it is time for our next contest - Mankind taking on Rocky Miavia. This is an interesting match beyond just being one of the first times these two would tangle on pay-per-view. First, the match comes a week or two after the first part of Mankind's infamous sit-down interview with Jim Ross, the company's first attempt in turning Foley into a sympathetic babyface. On the other side is Rocky Miavia, no longer the Intercontinental Champion and no longer "all smiles," but still not yet "The Rock." Foley leads the youngster through the match's biggest moments (a Mankind front-flip onto Miavia outside the ring, a powerful running knee in the corner), but the crowd just never really cares. The Not-Yet-Great One can't garner any fan support and has almost no signature offense or taunting to help. In one particularly noteworthy moment, though, the Rock does land his future finisher, a vicious Rock Bottom on Foley on the steel ramp that earns him his biggest pop of the night. The last minute is the most revealing - The Rock connects with a nasty clothesline to the back of Foley's head, a clear heel tactic from the otherwise vanilla good guy. When he signals for his finish, the crowd boos and we finally see signs of The Rock we'll one day get,  Miavia spitting and cussing in defiance of the fan's tepid reaction to what he intends to be the nail in the coffin. While these 15 seconds don't make the previous 12 minutes any better, it is at least thought-provoking on re-watch in a way that the opener or the match that follows certainly weren't. (2/5)

A gauntlet match is next - Ahmed Johnson going up against Crush, Savio Vega, and Farooq in that order. Gorilla Monsoon bars the other Nation of Domination members from ringside, so these matches are all 1-on-1. The first bout, Johnson vs. Crush, is as dull and uninspired as one would expect, though, I do have to give credit to Johnson for his surprisingly varied offense. While he doesn't hit every move with precision, he had considerable gusto, connecting on some hard clotheslines and finishing Crush off with a very decent heel kick. The next bout, against Savio Vega, is more of the same, and, again, a tip of the hat goes to Johnson for not repeating spots, differentiating his strikes, and selling the fact that this is his second of three matches. After Vega gets himself disqualified, its time for the final round and Johnson is already knocked out. He miraculously hits a Pearl River Plunge, though, which makes little kayfabe sense, but at least adds some suspense. Watching this match, I immediately began to think of how Roman Reigns might've fared in a similar situation. To be honest, I'm not sure Reigns has the moveset to match the little bit of what Johnson accomplishes here, but I do think Reigns bests Ahmed in terms of selling and charisma. While far from a worthwhile watch, this one is surprisingly not as terrible as one would expect. (1.5/5)

Vader vs. Ken Shamrock in a submission-only, no disqualification match is next, this being Shamrock's in-ring WWE debut. The match begins with Shamrock trying to break Vader down with stiff kicks to the big man's legs and within minutes he has Vader reeling, forcing him to recalculate his battle plan on the outside. Shamrock hits a textbook belly-to-back suplex and seeing the one-time WCW juggernaut playing the cowardly, overmatched heel is a bit sad. The crowd pops for Vader's impressive offense, including a big suplex to the outside that Shamrock takes fearlessly, our first real sign that the former UFC Champion is more than prepared to hang in the world of pro-wrestling. After controlling the match for a stretch (with Shamrock selling well throughout), Vader misses on his moonsault and Shamrock hits an awesome powerslam before locking in a half-crab. Vader reaches the ropes and the match continues, Shamrock hitting Vader with all sorts of strikes in the corner before getting leveled with a stiff forearm to the face. With Vader seemingly in charge, Shamrock locks in a surprising ankle lock and forces the big man to tap in what I'd call a fairly unceremonious finish. There's some positives to this match: Shamrock's blend of stiff strikes and mat submissions, some surprisingly sharp commentary out of JR and Lawler, and both guys actually selling their asses off to make the other look like they're worth fearing, but Vader came into this match relatively cold and its hard not to notice how much less of a "big deal" Shamrock is when he's no longer mixing it up with Bret Hart and Steve Austin. (2.5/5)

Speaking of Steve Austin, its main event time - "Stone Cold" Steve Austin challenging The Undertaker for his WWE World Championship. Austin gets a bit of a muted response compared to how over he would be a year later, but the signs in the audience and Austin 3:16 shirts are certainly increasing in number by this point. The Hart Foundation gets a massive negative reaction as they make their way down the aisle and take their seats in the front row. Austin and Taker get some shots in against Pillman and Owen Hart before they get to work on eachother, Austin trying to wear down the champ with a headlock early on the match (a questionable way to kick things off, if you ask me). Stone Cold then goes after the Deadman's leg, bashing it into the corner ring post and stomping at it after tying Undertaker up by the turnbuckle. Austin even attempts an STF at one point, a rarity in The Rattlesnake's toolbox and a maneuver that the audience certainly hadn't seen much in a WWE ring. Undertaker is able to fight back and change the tides, though, by going after Austin's left knee, trying to wear down the Rattlesnake with a grapevine and, moments later, a half-crab. As the match continues, both men maintain their focus on their opponent's legs but, thankfully, begin to dish out more high-impact offense as well, going back to their respective bread-and-butter to try to put their opponent away. While the selling isn't great (neither guy limps around as much as they should considering how much emphasis is put on their targeted submissions), there are some "Attitude Era"-pointing moments, including Austin and Hebner trading birds, the Undertaker popping the crowd with a massive chokeslam, and a false finish involving a ring bell that screams "screwjob" roughly 7 months before that word would become popularized. With a really strong finishing sequence that keeps both guys looking strong and also pleases the fans by having the Hart Foundation get a bit of a comeuppance, this match absolutely holds up and defies the popular opinion that Steve Austin and The Undertaker never really "clicked" on the big stage. While not an all-time classic, this is easily the match of the night. (3.5/5)



With a pretty piddling score of 2.2-out-of-5, In Your House #15: A Cold Day in Hell is almost impossible to recommend. The only silver lining I can muster to support it is the novelty of seeing Steve Austin, Triple H, The Rock, and Mankind all on the brink of superstardom. Within 9 months, they'd each be much bigger players on the WWE scene, one headed to a WrestleMania main event, two en route to being the leaders of two of the most famous stables in WWE history, and one firmly established as the ultimate sympathetic "tweener," a guy that fans would spend most of 98' switching between loving, loathing, pitying, and praising. With only one match that I'd call above-average, I'm going to give this one a...

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville

WCW Bash At The Beach 97'

WCW Bash at the Beach 97'

Daytona Beach, Florida

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan holds the WCW World Heavyweight Championship, Chris Jericho is the reigning WCW Cruiserweight Champion, the tag titles are held by The Outsiders, the TV Champion is Steven Regal, and the United States title is held by Jeff Jarrett.

COMMENTARY: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, and Bobby Heenan with Mike Tenay

Bash at the Beach 97' starts off with a video package hyping tonight's star-studded main event pitting Lex Luger and The Giant vs. WCW World Champion "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan and Dennis "The Menace" Rodman of the Chicago Bulls. At the announce table, Tony Schiavone reminds viewers that tonight will also see the major reveal of Diamond Dallas Page's mystery tag partner - if I'm not mistaken, it was the wrestling world's worst kept secret that Curt "Mr. Perfect" Hennig would be coming out of retirement and returning here, particularly because, in a classic WCW move, they'd debuted him on Nitro a week or two prior instead of saving his first appearance for this show.

Glacier and Ernest Miller take on Mortis and Wrath in the show's opener. As a kid, I loathed this rivalry, but I've enjoyed it considerably more on re-watch. Unfortunately, this has to be their fourth or fifth consecutive pay-per-view against eachother (save for Miller), so the novelty has definitely worn off a bit, especially as the addition of guys like Wrath and The Cat means we get to see less of Mortis, the undeniable MVP of this entire saga. Speaking of Wrath, he busts out a chair and holds it up to Glacier's face with him standing against the post which Mortis then kicks in an absolutely devastating move that should've served as the finish because, at the time, I'm not sure there'd been many more hardcore spots than that in at least a couple years. Wrath and Mortis hit a combination powerbomb/neckbreaker but only get 2 due to Miller's interference. Wrath then locks in an inverted Boston Crab that Mortis enhances with a guillotine leg drop in another remarkable show of teamwork. Mortis misses on a moonsault, but Glacier can't make the tag. Miller bursts into the ring and hits a series of karate kicks that the heels sell incredibly for, the crowd popping for each one more than the last. Glacier hits a DDT, but Vandenburg stops the count and, with the ref distracted, wraps a steel chain around Mortis' foot. This leads to the finish, a nice way to further the feud and keep everyone protected. Again, I wouldn't mind seeing these guys work with other wrestlers, but this match certainly holds up, largely thanks to the heels creative and vicious double-team maneuevers. (3/5)

Diamond Dallas Page is backstage hanging out with a nerd handling an interview via CompuServe.

WCW Cruiserweight Champion Chris Jericho defends the strap against Ultimo Dragon next. Jericho is in full-fledged Lionheart mode here, while Dragon is no longer playing the foreign heel now that he's free from Sonny Onoo's management. Fast-paced action and some "mirror work" to kick things off, but things slow down as they both start to counter each other's moves. In fact, as Tenay wisely notes, this match ends up being more about defense than offense, Dragon and Jericho doing the most damage to their opponent through sidesteps and counters much more than their signature moves. What's noticeable about Jericho here is that, despite having some quality offense, his charisma really doesn't come across as much as it would when he eventually turned heel. There's a nice roll-up pinfall sequence that really adds to the suspense and highlights that this is a title contest both men are focused on winning. Cool spot where Dragon hits a dropkick on Jericho mid-Lionsault, but it's followed by a pretty ugly Dragon Sleeper and an Asai Moonsault that doesn't quite connect either. The finish that follows doesn't make total sense and feels rushed, but overall, not a terrible match and, depending on the fan, one might even call this one of the better cruiser title matches of the time that didn't involve Rey Mysterio. (2/5)

"Mean" Gene makes his way ringside to get a few cryptic words of Raven, who is also joined by Stevie Richards in their first appearance on WCW pay-per-view. Good segment, but not great enough to warrant a bonus point or anything.

The Steiner Brothers team up to take on The Great Muta and Masahiro Chono of the nWo next. As one would expect, this is a very physical contest, all four men being ready, willing, and able to dish it out in stiff fashion. There are a handful of tremendous spots, including a Scott Steiner belly-to-belly off the top rope to Chono and Great Muta hitting a Frankensteiner from the corner. Any time Rick Steiner hits a bulldog from the top, you get the feeling that it could be a career-ender for the man receiving it (as would prove to be practically true in the case of Buff Bagwell), but the danger on display here really helps the match from sinking anywhere near boring. With more suplexes than you could wave a stick at out of the Steiners and the Japanese contingent doing a nice job of drawing heel heat and keeping pace with the ultra-popular babyfaces, this has to be one of the better and more watchable Steiner bouts of the previous few months. (2.5/5)

Juventud Guerrera, Hector Garza, and Lizmark Jr. Team up to take on La Parka, Psicosis, and Villaino IV (with Sonny Onoo) for our next bout, a very special lucha-flavored six-man tag. I was a huge fan of a previous six-man WCW featured, so I was eager to see what they'd pull out this time. Mike Tenay joins in on commentary to help out the team, explaining the difference between rudos and technicos for the home viewer (and Bobby Heenan). As expected, there's quality spots left and right once the action gets going, including some beautiful tilt-a-whirl backbreakers, Psicosis nearly paralyzingly himself with a missed dropkick into the corner, Juventud landing a sick "coup de gras"-type move onto all three of the rudos, a triple suicide dive soon after, and a ridiculously dangerous and vicious piledriver-sequel maneuever out of Psicosis in the corner. To detail what else comes down the pike would be overkill, but that's essentially the word one should use to describe the action that occurs during this match's second half. When people call a match a "spotfest," it is usually with derision - but this match, which is loaded with high spots, is a great example of how putting six fearless workers in the ring and letting them wrestle "their style" can provide the audience something wholly different than anything else they've seen. Spectacular bout that may not appeal to purists seeking matches with selling and storytelling, but will amaze just about anyone else with the athleticism and risk-taking of its participants. (3.5/5)

A very special Career Match is next - Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit in what I believe is a yet another rematch from the previous year's Bash at the Beach. As was par for these two, Benoit and Sullivan start things off by just mauling eachother with rights and lefts in the middle of the ring before the action spills out. Jacqueline is heavily involved for the first part of the match (as is Jimmy Hart), making this more like a handicap match than a straight up 1-on-1. When Sullivan and Benoit find their way to the Bash set, you'd think things would get silly (as they arguably had when they fought in bathrooms), but the shots they give eachother with the weapons at hand are so stiff and unprotected that even something comical (like pushing a lifeguard chair over with Jimmy Hart on top) comes off as serious and intense. Once they brawl their way back into the ring, Benoit dominates, which is kind of a cool touch considering that it was Sullivan who began the feud as the clear-cut heel and now, a year later, it is Benoit who has proven to be the superior wrestler. Well-worked crossface sequence and an equally good series of Tree of Woe moves by Sullivan, but neither man can put the other away. This leads to one of the most disappointing finishes I've seen in recent months, an unfortunate decision that, while completely believable and in-line with Sullivan's relationship with his managers, ends up taking away from the accomplishment of the victor and the severity and finality of the loser's punishment. The crowd doesn't mind, but years later, one not only wishes the match would've ended for definitively for the sake of the feud, but also for the sake of the match itself - which was en route to being a potential Match of the Night contender but ends with such an unnecessary twist that it misses out on a great opportunity to truly create a new star and close the legacy of a fading one. Still, well worth watching for its brutality and as a bookend to one of WCW's most famous longterm rivalries. (3.5/5)

The United States Championship is on the line next, Jeff Jarrett defending the gold against Mongo McMichael in a continuation of their long-running rivalry. In the weeks leading up to this show, Jarrett was kicked out of the 4 Horsemen, a move that Mongo was pushing for months prior. Before the bell rings, both McMichael and Jarrett pose with the belt, a good idea to clearly establish a face/heel dynamic as chants of "Jarrett Sucks" rain down from the rafters. When the wrestling portion of the match begins, it's not breathtaking stuff, but it is at least something different than anything we'd seen in any prior match, more character and emotion-driven, very basic and traditional but not necessarily boring. What hurts the match is Mongo's piss poor timing and selling, with several moments looking so half-assed that one wonders if he hadn't actually devolved as a worker over time. Jarrett turns his own act up to 11 to compensate, drawing the ire of the crowd in the process. The finish is a bit sloppy and rushed, but at least the match doesn't overstay its welcome. Totally watchable stuff that tells a good story, builds towards a future match, and doesn't get bogged down in any boring ol' rest holds...but isn't executed as flawlessly as it could've been to make it a "great" match. (2.5/5)

Road Wild PPV preview followed by a quick word from "Hollywood" Hogan and Dennis "Rod The Bod" Rodman. I really wish I could recommend checking this promo out, but it's too pointless and long-winded, with nothing close to clever said by either guy (somewhat surprising considering Rodman's reputation for being equal parts articulate and obnoxious). 

Scott Hall and "The Macho Man" Randy Savage make their way down the aisle for their match against Diamond Dallas Page and his mystery partner - the former Mr. Perfect, Curt Hennig. Again, this would seem like a major surprise had it not been spoiled by Hennig appearing on Nitro prior to this match. After DDP hits Savage with some strikes early on, Macho does a masterful job of getting the crowd even hotter, ducking out of the ring, feigning that he wants to bring a chair in, walking around the ring in anger, spitting in Page's face - it may not be "wrestling," but it's impossible to ignore its effect on the crowd. Hennig and Hall get tagged in, the former Mr. Perfect hitting the former Razor Ramon with a flurry of his signature offense, including the somersault neckbreaker. Page comes in soon after the tide shifts, the heels taking over through nefarious means to put the boots to DDP, targeting his injured ribs. When Page comes in, one would expect a hot tag, but in a very clever twist, the tag is downplayed and it even seems like Page has botched it. In fact, by underplaying the tag, Hennig's actions at the end of the match make total sense, a selfish, egotistical blowhard losing his cool the first time things don't go his way. As Schiavone notes, it doesn't appear to be an nWo double-cross, which would've been incredibly stupid considering Hennig had no reservations about trading blows with both Hall and Savage during the match. The post-match moment between Kimberly and DDP is yet another one of those "small details" that WCW consistently got right at this time, a moment that makes sure that even Page gets to leave with his integrity intact. Despite not being much a "match," I'm essentially awarding this one points for Savage's awesomeness, Page's selling, and the well-produced finish, one that added intrigue to the nWo storyline at a time when such wrinkles were necessary. (2.5/5)

In a match that wouldn't seem out of place on a card 10 years prior, Ric Flair vs. Roddy Piper is next, these two essentially squaring off based on the age old phrase, "If you can't get along, you'll have to get it on." Flair brings a ton of energy to this one, obviously enjoying an opportunity to shine in a major singles bout on pay-per-view after months of being relegated to minor roles and tag matches on the last few shows. Piper isn't too shabby, but it's clear that his rather one-dimensional, slapsticky offense made him a much better foil for the equally cartoonish Hollywood Hogan than for Flair, a guy that he certainly had history with but not nearly to the same degree as he had wih Hogan in the eyes of the casual fans. I've read a few reviews of this match that are merciless in their criticisms, but I'd still call this better than nearly every one of the "Legends" matches from previous years' Slamboree shows.  Flair and Piper are tired, they stick way too much to chest chops and punches, and they overrely on Pavlovian responses to their shtick to keep the crowd engaged, but more moments work than don't, they play the "hits" and the crowd appreciates it, the match isn't mired down in restholds, and while some of the kickouts are absolutely atrocious, you definitely get the sense that both guys want to win this match (and that the crowd generally cares due to the late match appearance of various items of trash). There's also some great visuals thrown in at the tail end, Piper staring down Flair in denial of his chest chops and referee Mark Curtis geeking out and mimicking the slugfest happening before his eyes. While I wouldn't want to revisit this one and I don't necessarily think the right person got their hand raised in the end, this match is far from the dud others have described it to be. (2/5)

Main event time - Dennis Rodman and Hulk Hogan vs. Lex Luger and The Giant. If you come into this match expecting solid mat wrestling or even passable mat wrestling, you're looking in the wrong place - but the heat in this match is just undeniably awesome, the crowd pelting the heels with garbage the second they appear in the ring. Honestly, the worst worker of the bunch seems to be The Giant here as Rodman is surprisingly spry and, while he's not asked to do much, what he does do is crisp and fully logical, including his selling, which wisely errs on the side of "oversell" instead of, say, what we saw Shane McMahon do at WrestleMania earlier this month. Like the shows building up to this one, Luger is massively over, which helps a ton in keeping the crowd alive and making what is a very basic, very "hit a shoulder block-stall for 2 minutes-hit another shoulder block"-type match into seeming like one that actually has some substance (it does not). I don't particularly care for the ending or the "swerve" that builds up to it (it just too ridiculously obvious that Kevin Nash [or some other 7' footer] is playing the role of Sting), but the crowd certainly leaves happy and WCW definitely got over the fact that this was a big time, mainstream-appealing match-up. To their credit, WCW advertised a major match and they gave the audience a very good 20+ minutes of spectacle, not dissimilar to what the WWE might've done. Much more watchable than revisionists will have you believe, almost to the point of being worth a rewatch if you haven't seen it in some time. (3.5/5)


A numerical score doesn't always tell the whole story of a show I've reviewed. Bash at the Beach 97' earned a respectable 2.78-out-of-5, but that score almost seems criminally low in comparison to shows I'd consider as lesser overall, like May's Slamboree. What this show offers is variety - from the surprisingly strong opener to the lucha 6-man to the "more angle than match" Hennig debut. The worst matches on the show don't overstay their welcome and their participants are mostly working hard. They're bad for different reasons - Jericho/Dragon is heatless, Piper and Flair is all punches, eye gouges, and chest chops, and Mongo/Jarrett has some comedically bad spots - which, in a weird way, ends up being a positive because things never really get boring. Unfortunately, things never really ascend to the heights of all-time greatness either, with the main event arguably being the best match on the show more because of how hot the crowd is and how big a star Rodman comes off as than because the match itself is good.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

WWE Rebellion 2002

RATING LEVELS: 

Curt Hennig – A “GOAT” show, as Perfect as possible

Watch It – A consistently good show worth watching in its entirety

Watch It…With Remote in Hand – 3 or more above-average ratings 

High Risk Maneuver – Mostly filler, inessential, but 1-2 good matches

DUDleyville – Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch

WWE Rebellion 2002 - October 2002

Manchester, England

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Brock Lesnar is the WWE World Champion coming into tonight's show, Trish Stratus holds the Womens' Championship, Jamie Noble is the Cruiserweight Champion, and Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle hold the WWE World Tag Team Championships. There are some titleholders on the RAW brand as well, but I won't go through those here.

COMMENTATORS: Michael Cole and Tazz

Rebellion 2002 was a UK-only, SmackDown-only pay-per-view, meaning that fans were almost guaranteed that nothing of serious consequence would take place but that the action would be far better than if the RAW  roster showed up.

The show begins with a video package highlighting all the heels that are dominating the SmackDown brand - Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero. It's a somewhat spooky promo, narrated by an (American) child, that sets the stage for the night's show well.

Stephanie McMahon opens the show, welcoming the audience and announcing that not only will we have Edge vs. Lesnar and Heyman in the main event, but that she has also brought in the talents, for one night only, RAW's most entertaining performer - Booker T! Considering the RAW roster at the time, I'm not sure she's actually being hyperbolic. 

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy (in his Version 1.0 gimmick) became the opening contest, Matt cutting a short promo before the match begins. Fun test of strength shtick to kick things off before things get serious. Solid action and the crowd is live enough for it, popping for the nearfalls and rallying behind Booker T at the right times. Hardy does a nice job of controlling the tempo and building suspense. There's a lazy kickout from Booker T late in the match that hurts the finish considerably for me. (2/5)

After a backstage segment featuring Stephanie and Paul Heyman, we get a continuation of the Dawn Marie/Torrie Wilson storyline. On the previous episode of SmackDown, Dawn Marie tried to break up with Wilson's father, but after complimenting him as the "most passionate lover she ever experienced," Mr. Wilson planted a kiss on her and the love affair continued. In this bout we had noneother than John Cena tagging up with Marie to face real-life couple Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson. This is in the part of Kidman's career where he looked more like Cena of 2015 than even the Cena of 2002 did. Cena and Kidman start things off, Cena playing a very vanilla villain in green and white tights no less. He pulls out an impressive vertical suplex spot where he does a squat with Kidman on his shoulders before tagging in Dawn Marie. Torrie Wilson comes in and gives Dawn Marie a spanking before nailing her with a fairly vicious dropkick. The actual wrestling portion of this one ends there, with Torrie and Dawn rolling around for awhile before Cena comes in and hits Torrie Wilson with a bodyslam while the ref's back is turned. Could you imagine Cena doing that to any female today? He pulls her by the hair too, but Torrie uses the opportunity to hit him with a low blow and make the tag to Kidman. Dawn Marie gets involved, but Cena breaks things up with a big spinebuster to the former WCW Cruiserweight Champ. Cena takes a great bump off a Kidman heel kick, one of those little things that he does that, even then, would set him apart from just the average joe. Not a great match and not even really a good match, at least it doesn't run too long. (1.5/5)

Funaki, SmackDown's number one announcer, comes out. His opponent in this match is Crash Holly. Holly pulls a karate headband out of his pants and mocks Funaki by pantomiming some moves straight out of The Karate Kid just in case Funaki's character wasn't racist enough for you. Absolute nothing match that can't help but establish the fact that this was a "pay per view" in name only - the fact is, these UK shows are gussied up house shows. (1/5)

The Cruiserweight Championship is on the line next, with titleholder Jamie Noble defending against both Tajiri and Rey Mysterio Jr. in an Elimination Triangle match. After some good, fast-paced action involving all three men, Tajiri is discarded fairly early on, turning this into your standard singles match. Noble and Mysterio had good chemistry, but this is definitely more of a WWE-style cruisers match (wristlock heavy, few innovative maneuvers, Nidia shenanigans) than the top-shelf stuff WCW used to put on the 90s. The final 2-minutes are the best part of the action, the audience at one point actually seeming to bite that Noble could possibly drop the title on a B-level show. The best match of the night so far, but that's not really saying much. (3/5)

Fans were in store for a real treat next - Albert vs. Rikishi in a "Kiss My Arse" Match. Nothing much to say about this one aside from it's just about as boring as imaginable. Rikishi fans really confuse me because I just don't see his work as engaging at all. Albert may have put on some good matches in Japan, but I have no knowledge of Japanese wrestling and, if I were to start watching it, I'm not sure I'd go out of my way to see Albert's "Best Of." After the match there's a convoluted dance sequence featuring Rikishi, Tazz, Tony Chimel, and Michael Cole. I want to give this a half-point, but I can't figure out what about it would earn even that much respect. (0/5)

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit team up to defend their World Tag Team Championships against Los Guerreros next. The crowd is firmly behind Kurt Angle, chanting his name throughout the contest but not really reacting to anything else that anyone else does. Guerreros make some quick tags and there are a handful of moments when Benoit and Angle show some teamwork, but this one lacks the rich story and neat details that made the Benoit & Angle/Edge & Mysterio match the previous month such a fun watch. One can tell that the Guerreros were on their way to being a remarkable tag team, but here, they've not yet mastered their "Lie, Cheat, and Steal" personas to full effect. Everyone gets their signature offense in, as one would expect from a "house show" match, but considering the potential here, this one falls pretty short of great. The finish is hot and the crowd is into things, but this is too ho-hum to seek out. (2/5)

Main event time - Edge challenging Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for Lesnar's WWE World Heavyweight Championship. This one starts off with Lesnar playing the typical heel, showing off his brawn but taking "powders" every time Edge gets any momentum. Some might view this story as unnecessary, that there's no reason for Lesnar to "show ass" when he's such a dominant force, but I like the way they pull it off, in no small part due to Lesnar's performance, which comes off as more clever and calculated than cowardly. Lesnar isn't avoiding Edge out of fear, but because he wants to deaden the crowd, slow down the pace, and limit Edge's offensive flurries. It is smart, strategic wrestling and when Lesnar does finally gain control, it is clear that Edge was in an uphill battle from the beginning. Lesnar's offense is nuanced and varied here too - there's a stiff forearm from a seated position at one point, some nasty suplexes, and a Boston Crab-like move that does a lot in showing how much of an "all arounder" Lesnar was in 02'. Edge, meanwhile, has some solid hope spots throughout, many of them coming through his impressive athleticism, countering some of Lesnar's power moves into nearfalls and bringing the crowd into each one. Heyman isn't involved in more than a second or two of the match until its final act, when Edge gets a brief opportunity to score a pinfall on Lesnar's advocate. The Beast breaks it up, though, and the match continues, Edge landing a splash to the outside as well as a huge dropkick from the top rope back on the inside. Edge goes to the well one more time, but Lesnar sidesteps and Mike Chioda takes the bump. Edge lands his Edgecator, but there's no ref to make the would-be 3 count. Heyman interferes again, tossing a chair into the ring, but Edge is able to duck Lesnar's chair shot and connect with a spear for a big 2 count. With the referee still woozy, Lesnar is able to use the chair after all and one F-5 later, we have a winner. I would've preferred this match ended much cleaner as Lesnar really shouldn't need a chair to get the job done, nor should Edge have scored a would-be pinfall via a ref bump. The other 80% of this match though is well-worked and quality stuff. Too bad the finish was just too bloated to make this the clear match of the night. (3/5)


With a dismal average score of 1.78-out-of-5, Rebellion has got to be one of the most miserable viewing experiences I've stomached through since getting the Network. There's a level of enjoyment that one gets out of watching decades-old, "So Bad It's Good" WCW pay-per-views from the 90s, but this show offers no such fun. At least those shows, which may have featured such ridiculous characters and gimmicks as Robocop and The Yeti and the Chamber of Horrors, offered something different and unique (one other example might be the original nWo Souled Out show). Rebellion is just boring. The main event is the only thing really worth watching, though the triple threat is one of the better cruiser matches I've seen from the WWE's rather paltry attempt at reigniting the division post-WCW's demise. The lowest-rated WWE show I've reviewed by a healthy margin, Rebellion is pretty easy to classify.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville

WWE WrestleMania 32

WWE WrestleMania 32 - April 2016

Dallas, Texas

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Triple H is the WWE World Champion, Kevin Owens is the Intercontinental Champion, Kalisto is the United States Champion, the WWE Tag Team Champions are the New Day, and Charlotte holds the WWE Divas Championship.

COMMENTARY: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, JBL

WrestleMania 32 kicked off proper with the 7-man Intercontinental Ladder Match featuring Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, The Miz, Zack Ryder, Sin Cara, and Stardust. A car-crash multi-man, this one had some great spots, including Sami Zayn hitting his plancha through the legs of the ladder and finishing it off with a through-the-ropes tornado DDT on longtime rival Owens. I liked the "Superkicks Galore" sequence out of Dolph Ziggler, one of many homages to the stars of yesteryear on this show. I'm one of those people that doesn't mind the "HBK Tribute Act" moments out of Ziggler, but think they made a misstep when they didn't just make the superkick his finish years ago - by taking that one move from Michaels' playbook (and making no bones about using it as a finish), I feel like it would've freed up Ziggler to focus on differentiating the rest of his act to stand apart. I mean, Ric Flair stole his nickname and finish from Buddy Rogers and it worked pretty well for him. ANYWAY...loved the Polka Dot Ladder and Sin Cara's springboard somersault earlier in the match too. Overall, a really fun opener with a very surprising twist ending that turned a deaf ear to what the crowd actually wanted. Zack Ryder's peak of popularity was at least 4 or 5 years ago, so I'm not sure where this booking came from aside from wanting to shock the audience by giving the least likely candidate the victory. (4/5)

Chris Jericho took on AJ Styles next. I enjoyed the nifty, non-stop counter sequences early on and Y2J even busting out a new move (a ropes-assisted reverse neckbreaker). I liked Jericho slowing the pacing down to offer something different than the fast-paced ladder match, but several of the sequences seemed like they took more work to set-up than the pay-off they produced (for example, the front suplex spot from the top rope). The third act saw a ton of finisher reversals, counters, and kickouts, which elevated things nicely, but again, suffered from some sloppy moments, especially out of Jericho, who seemed to not hit his Codebreakers with both knees and blatantly positioned himself multiple times for AJ's 450 splash. Like the opener, the finish was another surprise and, again, not the most pleasant one. I liked this match more than one on RAW and FastLane, but I can understand the booking really angering others. In the span of 3 months, AJ has gone from being a very big "get" for the WWE to just another mid-card talent. Wasn't the depleted roster a sign that they needed to build stars and not just cruise with the aging ones they have now? (3.5/5)

I expected some breaks in the action, but the show continued rapidly with The New Day taking on The League of Nations. Speaking of guys who, months ago, seemed like major signings but now are obviously a tier below important, Alberto Del Rio was in this match. New Day's entrance was pretty cool, but far from "OMG!" level, which was a bit disappointing considering that the New Day's elaborate introduction and costumes were a fairly big talking point in the build-up to the show. When the bell rang, Xavier Woods played a pretty good face-in-peril and I liked the fire in Big E trying to make saves and Kofi Kingston eventually getting the hot tag. Rusev was the MVP for his team while King Barrett was a complete non-factor, either due to injury or due to him reportedly requesting his release recently. I liked the finish for keeping Sheamus' finish strong, but again, it noticeably went against how a showcase for New Day should've gone for no particular reason aside from just upsetting the crowd. (2.5/5)

After cutting a promo on how no three superstars could ever beat them, the League of Nations were attacked by Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. I liked the segment, especially Austin giving a stunner to Xavier Woods when he tried to make the Texas Rattlesnake dance with him. I would've liked things even more if Austin had done the same to Foley and HBK and I'm not sure the fans in attendance wouldn't have popped even louder for that. I understand and agree that the segment hurt New Day more than it helped, but as far as "moments" go, it didn't detract from the show too much for me. It also wasn't good enough to warrant a "+1" on my scoresheet.

One of the (if not the) most highly anticipated match-ups of the night was next - Brock Lesnar taking on Dean Ambrose in a Streetfight (because "Texas Deathmatch" was too barbaric a term?). We found ourselves in "Suplex City" early, but Ambrose wouldn't stay down, at one point giving Lesnar a big "thumbs up" and slapping the Beast in the face. Suplex #9 led to some particularly good selling out of Ambrose, who really did a masterful job of taking big bumps and making the crowd feel them too. Where this match lost me was exactly where most fans anticipated it would fall apart - the minute Ambrose started busting out weapons so "anti-PG" that there was simply no way they'd ever be used, specifically the chainsaw and the barb-wired 2x4. While Ambrose's work with chairs was nice (though, dissimilar to what he had done in a previous hardcore match with Seth Rollins), considering that this match was advertised to be one of the craziest brawls we'd ever see, it came off as relatively tame, especially considering the blood we got on the NXT show Friday night. I would've liked to see this match go longer and, though I know it would've been a risky move for Ambrose, maybe a game-time decision to say "'F' It!" and get a little bit of color, something that Lesnar has been up for in the past. Without that crucial element, the streetfight came off as underwhelming and considerably tamer than it needed to be. Even a "bad" Lesnar match is going to be better than average and this one certainly was, but anyone expecting a potential Match of the Year candidate (hell, even a Match of the Night candidate) would have been fairly disappointed in this one. Designed to be a star-making turn for Ambrose, this was anything but that. (3/5)

Fortunately, the next bout was the Match of the Night - Charlotte defending her Divas (now Womens') Championship against Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch. All three women got strong crowd responses, but Sasha was the clear favorite (even before she arrived with WWE Hall of Famer Snoop Doggy Dogg rapping her entrance theme). The start of this match was fast-paced but made perfect sense, each performer getting a chance to shine and hit at least 1-2 signature spots. Aside from just playing "the hits," though, there was a respectable amount of innovation on display: Lynch connecting on a pump-handle chokeslam, Charlotte hitting an awesome backbreaker to Lynch on the corner at one point, and, later, locking in her Figure 8 submission only to have it broken up by a Sasha frog splash (a nod to her idol Eddie Guerrero, whose colors she wore). Sasha would hit but an incredible front-flip suicide dive when the action spilled outside, but not to be outdone, Lynch came crashing down on Charlotte's old man while the Champion hit an awesome moonsault on both of her opponents from the top rope to the outside. The final third of the match was just as good as the prevous two acts, highlighted by a strong submission exchange sequence as well as a Becky Lynch T-Bone suplex from the top rope. There were probably a dozen or so other great spots that I failed to jot down as it was just impossible to keep up with the action. Some fans will complain about the finish, but I saw nothing wrong with it - in fact, as long as we continue to get these three women battling it out, I don't really care who is holding the title for right now. As fun as the IC Ladder Match was, this one was considerably better, more memorable, and much more recommended. (4/5)

At this point, I imagined that we'd be getting The Rock or some other segment, but instead we went right to, arguably, the most hyped and important match on the card - The Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon in a Hell in a Cell Match with Shane fighting to wrest control of Monday Night RAW from his father, Vince McMahon (though, the commentators wouldn't play up this fact as Shane's motivation nearly enough for me). Shane arrived on the scene with his children, while the Undertaker got his usual (lengthy) entrance. Early on, Shane got destroyed, but the crowd seemed bored, possibly anticipating run-ins that would never come. Minutes later we got our first sign of just how much this match was going to insult the fans' "fanhood," Shane kicking out of the Last Ride because...As the match wore on, Shane managed to latch on a triangle choke (and sharpshooter) that Undertaker sold and, seemingly, couldn't reverse or fight out of despite a history of being able to counter these exact maneuvers out of guys like Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle. Undertaker hit a chokeslam on the steel steps and, again, Shane kicked out because...Shane came back with a DDT onto the steps, but Undertaker kept the upperhand by pulling him into his own dreaded submission finisher, the Hell's Gate. Shane, miraculously, held on for minutes on end, surviving the move far longer than Brock Lesnar did at SummerSlam and eventually reversing it into the aforementioned Sharpshooter. Shane hit a coast-to-coast for the first legitimately cool moment of the match and the crowd came alive. Shane started looking up into the heavens and used some bolt cutters to loosen one of the cage walls, getting tackled through it moments later by a pissed off Deadman. The spot earned a largely unwarranted "This is Awesome" chant and led to some brawling on the outside, including a spot in which Taker, with Shane on his back, sacrificed his own body by jumping from the barricade through a table. With both men out, Shane managed to get up and mount some unexpected offense, crushing Taker with a monitor just like he did on RAW last week. With Undertaker sprawled on the table, Shane O-Mac climbed to the top of the cage and attempted one of the craziest, riskiest bumps in wrestling history - an elbow drop from the top of the cage through a table on the outside. Undertaker moved, though, and, minutes later, got taken out with a Tombstone to end what can only be described as an "elaborate stunt" of a match. Unlike Foley/Taker, the most legendary Hell in a Cell match ever and one that featured a similar spot, this match will offer nothing in repeat viewings. Considering the build-up of this bout was all about "legacies," the legacy of the Undertaker got shat on pretty heavy here as he had to sell for the untrained boss's son and then, in the match's peak moment, sit back and watch as Shane McMahon played out his own personal fantasy of "sports-entertainment" (to call it "wrestling" would be an insult to every actual wrestler ever). I'm tempted to reward this match at least a half-point for the bump, but I was so offended by everything else that happened in this "spectacle" that I won't. Someone wrote this on a website I frequent and it bears paraphrasing here - this 30+ minute "match" can be reduced to a 3-second gif without losing anything in the reduction. Shane sticking his thumb in the air, Super Dave-style, as he was wheeled off only added to the feeling that this was nothing more than a vain attempt by Shane to "pop" his own kids and maybe his friends, rather than actually attempt to put together something resembling a believable match. I expected this match to feature stunts, but I definitely didn't expect the build-up to those stunts to be so offensive. (0/5)

The Andre The Giant Battle Royale was next and was actually one of the more enjoyable (though, far from "must see") bouts of the evening, in no small part due to guest appearances by the one and only Shaquille O'Neal, Diamond Dallas Page, and Tatanka. I wasn't a huge fan of the finish here as I just don't see why Baron Corbin needed to get the W when the crowd would've been happier seeing "home state hero" Mark Henry capture the prize, Goldust take it home for his old man, or been just as excited to see an actual *babyface* from NXT win rather than the brand's top heel. I'm not going to say this was a "great" battle royale (and, aside from Shaq's appearance, would probably say that last year's edition was better), but at least it didn't offend me. (2/5)

The Rock arrived, with a flamethrower, to cut a meandering promo about "little Rockies and Rockettes" and hype the WWE's new attendance record. The Wyatts showed up in a move that would've felt special...if the Wyatts weren't complete jokes at this point, no more frightening or relevant than the Social Outcasts. I was surprised by the impromptu Rock vs. Rowan match, but mostly because of the way the Rock ripped off his pants to reveal that he was suited up to compete all along. Are we to believe he wears his trunks under his clothes every time he shows up in the WWE? Outside the WWE? After destroying Rowan in six seconds, the Wyatts surrounded the ring, but there was never any fear that they'd be able to take Rock out because, honestly, who's the last person they dominated? John Cena returned to help out his old rival and the segment stretched the show well past the 11 PM cut-off that many fans expected. Like the Austin segment, I didn't hate this and was admittedly entertained by some of it - but there were no "goosebumps," no feeling that I had just witnessed a real "moment" as much as a pre-fabricated Vince-approved one, no drive to text a buddy and say "Did you see that?!?" Compare that to Nakamura's debut on Friday and one can understand why I wanted more out of a Rock experience hyped since January.

Main event time - Triple H vs. Roman Reigns for Trips' WWE World Championship. Stephanie McMahon opened up what was a fairly standard-to-good Triple H main event with a batshit insane promo dressed as Tina Turner from Beyond The Thunderdome. Reigns' entrance was equally elaborate, him punching the ground and setting off thousands of dollars worth of pyro. When the bell rang, Triple H took control and didn't really let up, working the match at a good pace and spacing out the bigger spots for maximum impact. The crowd booed Reigns' hope spots throughout and seemed generally disinterested in anything that happened for the first 10-15 minutes, obviously just anticipating a run-in or swerve rather than really caring about the story of the match. There were a handful of cool spots and moments, though two of them (Triple H tossing Reigns over the Spanish Announce Table and Reigns powering out of Triple H's triangle choke with a sit-out powerbomb) were repeated for no particular reason aside from seemingly just to stretch time by an extra minute or two and make the match seem more "epic." Like Triple H's main event matches with Randy Orton, John Cena, and Chris Jericho at previous WrestleManias, this match wasn't out-and-out terrible - but it certainly wasn't the Match of the Night or close to it. Stephanie getting hit with a huge spear was the best moment of the match, but seemed almost wasted considering how small of a role she has played in the build-up towards the match (especially compared to feuds where she may have actually been too involved - like the aforementioned ones with Jericho and Orton). I've read some reviews that want to call this match "underrated" based on the idea that fans are more upset with the booking of the last 3 seconds than what actually happened for the 20-minutes before it, but I don't buy that. This was a true, somewhat stereotypical Triple H title match - generally solid and designed well with even a few outstanding stand-alone moments, but nothing I'd ever go out of my way to rewatch in its entirety. (3.5/5)

With an overall average score of 2.81-out-of-5, WrestleMania 32 wasn't a total waste of time, but it mostly was. The Intercontinental Title Ladder Match and Womens' Championship bout were the only ones truly worth checking out, while, if you have a spare 10 seconds on your hand, you can catch the best and only worthwhile moment of the Shane/Taker contest on YouTube or elsewhere. The main event was good, certainly better than average, but didn't feel any more special than Triple H's match with Ambrose from Toronto last month. Lesnar/Ambrose was a disappointment, as was AJ/Jericho, both pairings seeming to somehow show less chemistry now than they did when their rivalries began. I enjoyed the special appearances by Shaquille O'Neal, Snoop Doggy Dogg, and DDP more than what Austin, Shawn Michaels, The Rock, and John Cena did on the show and I don't think I'm alone. Prepare to see this year's edition of the Super Bowl of Wrestling end up on many people's future lists of worst Manias ever. Superfans will find moments to enjoy, as I did, but as a whole, there were lots of holes in this show.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote In Hand

NXT Takeover: Dallas

RATING LEVELS: 

Curt Hennig – A “GOAT” show, as Perfect as possible

Watch It – A consistently good show worth watching in its entirety

Watch It…With Remote in Hand – 3 or more above-average ratings 

High Risk Maneuver – Mostly filler, inessential, but 1-2 good matches

DUDleyville – Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch

NXT Takeover: Dallas - April 2016

AT&T Stadium, Dallas, Texas

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Finn Balor is the defending NXT Champion, Bayley holds the coveted NXT Women's Championship, and The Revival, Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson, are the NXT Tag Team Champions.

COMMENTATORS: Corey Graves and Tom Phillips

NXT Takeover: Dallas kicked off with the NXT Tag Team Championships on the line, The Revival defending the straps against American Alpha - Jason Jordan and Chad Gable. I'm pretty high on both teams, the Revival being an excellent callback to the glory days of The Brainbusters or the Midnight Express and Jordan and Gable being a pair of "can't-miss" blue chippers with very respectable amateur backgrounds. Fun schtick to open the match up, the crowd fully in support of Gable and Jordan. What really stood out for me in this one was, aside from the very fluid tag work out of both teams, the awesome use of Texas-specific maneuvers out of the heels, specifically throwing in the Gory Special (invented by Gory Guerrero), a slingshot suplex ala Tully Blanchard (born in Canada, but raised in San Antonio), and what I believe was going to be a Freebirds-like spike piledriver before it was botched in one of the show's rare gaffes. Loads of great nearfalls in this one, including a sequence of about five or six before the actual finish. While I won't call this an all-time great match, it was a strong opener and the crowd was very much into things. I don't see how any of the tag matches on Sunday's WrestleMania card will be better than this one. (3.5/5)

Baron Corbin took on the debuting Austin Aries next. There was a huge size difference for Aries to overcome and he did a good job of it by staying on Corbin from the bell. I really liked Aries as a cocky heel in TNA and think he'd be best in that role in the WWE, but by being undersized and having "indie cred," it's obvious why that would be a difficult persona for him to adopt immediately upon entering NXT. Corbin, on the other hand, is practically a lock for Most Improved nominations at the end of the year, coming into his own as a mean-spirited braggart that takes special pride in destroying the "vanilla midgets" of the wrestling world. Excellent "Deep 6" spinning back suplex on the arena floor out of Corbin at one point, but the rest of the match worked because how simply it was worked, Aries getting massacred for extended stretches but Corbin enjoying dishing out punishment so much that he wouldn't go for the cover at opportune times. I'm not sure I adored the ending, especially as Corbin seems like he's ready for a vertical move up the ladder (I can't believe I wrote that), but if it leads to another match like this one, you can't be disappointed. My least favorite match of the night, but still better than average (and maybe even the best Corbin match I've seen). (3/5)

Nakamura made his debut next, taking on "The Heart of NXT," Sami Zayn. Nakamura's entrance and the intensity of the crowd, as well as Zayn's demeanor, gave me goosebumps before they'd even tied up. If the match that followed didn't hit the peaks of that initial 60 seconds, it still would've been a remarkable debut, but Zayn brought his workboots and showed tremendous energy and confidence. Unlike his matches with Owens and Samoa Joe, Zayn didn't wrestle as the underdog suffering from post-concussion syndrome, something out of him I'd been sorely missing in recent months. Instead, he wrestled as a veteran that was not going to be intimidated by the newcomer's flashy entrance or King of Strong Style reputation. I'm not sure Zayn has had a better showing as an all-around performer capable of doing more than just "fighting from underneath" in his entire WWE run. Still, as good as Zayn was, this match was an action-packed, invigorating welcome party for Nakamura, the most "must see" wrestling performer in at least a decade. As cool as CM Punk was, as much of a breath of fresh air Daniel Bryan was, Nakamura is something wholly different than either - something completely new and fresh and bad ass. There were all sorts of great sequences in this match, including a beautifully violent forearm exchange that left Nakamura with a busted nose, some unreal submission reversals, and several tide-changing counters and nearfalls that inspired the fans to, at one point, vocalizing the sentiment of everyone watching in attendance and at home, chant "Fight Forever." The only thing I didn't love about this match was Nakamura's final two strikes, including his somewhat awkward-looking finish that was either captured wrong by the cameraman or didn't really stand out as a match-ending statement. As countless others have already said on social media, this is your early front-runner for WWE Match of the Year. (4.5/5)

Bayley and Asuka were given the unenviable task of having to follow a legitimate Match of the Year contender next, duking it out for Bayley's NXT Women's Championship. What I really enjoyed about this one was how strong Bayley looked throughout the contest, no longer wrestling as the "Who? Me?"/"Aw Shucks" underdog that isn't fully comfortable in her newfound place at the top of the roster but as an ass-kicking division ace, not overly confident but fully aware of her ability to match up with anyone, including the Empress of Tomorrow. Like the previous match, what really worked here was the dizzying array of submissions and counters, Bayley showing that she had scouted Asuka's offense carefully beforehand (I particularly liked one spot where Bayley ducked not one, but two spinning heel kicks in a row). I wasn't a huge fan of the finish and would've preferred something more thrilling, but respect the way the NXT team has established technical knockouts as a legitimate way for wrestling matches to end, something far more rare on the main roster and practically unheard of in the old days. Both Asuka and Bayley showed that they can work beyond the roles that were there bread and butter for the past 6 months, Bayley showing she can be "The Female John Cena" as a fighting, never-say-die champion and Asuka showing a vulnerability that has not yet been explored in her NXT run. I wrote this on Facebook, but it bears repeating - I can't imagine any two wrestlers on the main roster following Nakamura/Zayn better than Asuka and Bayley did here without the benefit of ladders, a cage, or all sorts of other shenanigans. The fact that Asuka/Bayley nearly matched the excellence of the match that came before by just being themselves and telling a story in the ring is a remarkable achievement. (4/5)

Main event time - Finn Balor defending his NXT Championship against Samoa Joe in a rematch from NXT Takeover: London. I gave that match a strong 4-star rating and came into this one expecting just as good of a match. Within the first ten seconds, Joe got busted open above his eye and bled like a stuck pig, forcing multiple ref stoppages over the course of the next 20 minutes of action. I've read some reviewers argue that the stoppages, which led to chants of both "Fuck PG" and "Let Joe Bleed," hurt the match, but I absolutely loved the way that the unforeseen intrusion of the medical staff was weaved into the story of the match, Joe letting his anger show at having to deal with a pesky laceration while Balor, in the kind of unselfishness you won't get out of Triple H's performance on Sunday, sold well enough for long enough that you never got the sense that the match was truly stopped. In fact, as it continued, you were more concerned with Balor than with Joe! It was a masterful piece of improv that would've tripped up two guys with less experience. Once Joe's bleeding stopped (or at least reduced to a trickle), Balor got his offense in and the high impact back-and-forth that we expected was delivered, but I'm not sure anybody would be raving about this match if it weren't the unplanned gash that got opened up literally seconds after the bell rang. The finish was yet another throwback to a classic WrestleMania moment (this time the ending to Hart/Piper from WrestleMania 8) on a show that rewarded die-hard, longtime fans with all sorts of fun homages to pro-wrestling's history. Joe's best showing since debuting in NXT and, while they get the same numerical rating (I don't mess with quarter-stars), I'd put this one above their battle in London. (4/5)

The numbers don't lie - NXT Takeover: Dallas's average score of 3.8-out-of-5 makes it the highest-rated WWE-produced show I have reviewed on this blog. Currently, Spring Stampede 94' and Halloween Havoc 96' edge it out by 0.08 points, but those two shows were 3-hour spectaculars featuring some of the most iconic matches in wrestling history, including, arguably the last great matches we'd ever see out of Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan as well as the first great matches we'd see from Diamond Dallas Page, Rey Mysterio, and Chris Jericho. This show will likely go down in history in a very similar light, as possibly featuring the best work Samoa Joe had left in him, but also providing us a glimpse into the future with American Alpha, Finn Balor, and Nakamura all doing tremendous things. If there is one must-watch wrestling show from 2016, hell from anytime in the past 2-3 years, it is probably this one.  

FINAL RATING - Curt Hennig Level

Go Home RAW! - March 28th, 2016

WWE Monday Night RAW

March 28th, 2016 - Brooklyn, NY

- The "Go Home" edition of Monday Night RAW, the final episode before WrestleMania 32, kicks off with a familiar gong strike heralding the arrival of the almighty Undertaker. Cole and JBL hype his match on Sunday - a Hell in a Cell battle against Shane McMahon. The key stipulation is that if Taker loses, he will never compete at a WrestleMania again (boo!) and Shane McMahon will take control of the WWE (yay!). A loud Undertaker chant breaks out as the Deadman grabs a microphone and informs the crowd that this WrestleMania will not be his last. By the way, after Sunday, 3-out-of-10 of Undertaker's last televised matches will have been Hell in a Cell matches - way to try to stay safe, Phenom. Shane McMahon comes out, gets called a "bitch boy," and makes his way to the ring, showing no fear. A "Holy Shit" chant breaks out for no particular reason. McMahon gets in Taker's face and tells him that his legacy died two years ago when he lost to Brock Lesnar (and a "Suplex City" chant breaks out). A fight ensues and they end up brawling on the outside, Shane eventually getting the upperhand with help from a TV monitor. Shane lands a huge elbow drop onto Undertaker through the announce table and what had been a "This is Awesome" chant morphs into a "Holy Shit" chant and then a "You've Still Got It" chant. After Shane makes his way backstage, the Undertaker sits up, enraged.

-#- Very strong opening to RAW. I agree with Jim Ross, though, that the WWE World Championship match should headline Mania even if Shane/Taker is the hotter match.

- Chris Jericho vs. Zack Ryder was next. Before the match could begin, AJ Styles showed up to taunt Y2J and challenge him (again) for WrestleMania. Just as Jericho is about to lock in the Walls of Jericho, AJ starts a "Y-2-Jackass" chant, allowing Ryder to roll him up for the victory. Nothing match. After throwing a temper tantrum, Jericho finally agrees to the match, adding that this his twelfth Mania.

-#- Decent segment, but it probably should've happened two weeks earlier. Considering how long they have built up this rivalry, it makes sense for it to cap off at WrestleMania, but by this point, I would've also liked to see some sort of stipulation in play. I'm not sure what Jericho's "signature match" is, but what differentiates this bout from the one they had at Fast Lane? From RAW in January? From SmackDown in February?

- After a commercial break, we got Becky Lynch vs. Divas Champion Charlotte (with Sasha Banks at ringside), a sneak preview at WrestleMania's triple threat title match between the three NXT grads. I was a big fan of their match at Royal Rumble in January (I gave it 3-and-a-half stars), but this one was designed to promote a future match, not to stand on its own. After some interference from Ric, Charlotte wins with the Natural Selection. Short but sweet TV match.

-#- For whatever reason, Sasha was kept off commentary, a questionable decision when, in the past, Banks has come off as pretty sharp on the mic. If Banks/Lynch/Charlotte gets time, it could be a sleeper for MOTN on Sunday.

- Vince McMahon is backstage. He says is unsurprised by Shane's actions as he knows that Shane doesn't just want "the yard" or "the house" - he wants the whole WWE Universe. Shane McMahon steps up to his old man and tells him that, after Sunday, he's going to control Monday Night RAW, stealing the company from him the way he stole the company from his father.

- In a match designed to hype the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, we get the Social Outcasts (Curtis Axel, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, and Adam Rose) taking on last year's battle royal winner (and former WWE Tag Team Champions in 06', I think) Big Show and Kane. Within a minute, a whole slew of other wrestlers ran in, turning this match into a huge brawl and ending with Kane and Show hitting a double-chokeslam on Mark Henry and then taking out the Social Outcasts. I wanted to fast forward through this segment, but it was so quick I didn't need to.

- After a series of ads, WWE World Champion Triple H and Stephanie McMahon arrive on the scene. Stephanie gets heel heat, but she's been an afterthought in this entire feud and, by getting edited out of the Vince/Shane build, isn't even necessary at this point. The story going into HHH/Reigns is really all about Roman Reigns and his popularity, not about if he'll win the title, but about how he can win it when it's obvious he's not nearly as over as a top babyface should be. Triple H proceeds to cut an elaborately boring promo, tearing down Reigns and gloating about how he is the most successful WWE Superstar in history, a 14-time WWE Champion. Good god did this thing go long. One gets the feeling that, if halfway through the promo, any babyface other than Roman Reigns came out, they would get mega-pops...but instead, Reigns shows up, gets a mixed reaction, and a brawl ensues, the crowd booing when Triple H retreated.

-#- Talk about a terrible segment. Triple H blabbered on endlessly and then Reigns showed up for about 45 seconds of airtime. It is going to be hard to build your brand around a guy that can only be shown on screen for one 180th of your programming without the audience turning against him.

- WWE World Tag Team Champions, The New Day, came out next as Kofi Kingston got ready to take on the League of Nation's Alberto Del Rio. I would be genuinely surprised if Del Rio sticks around after this latest contract, unless of course he's making the kind of money where one doesn't even need self-respect to get them through the day anymore. After Kingston gets the W, Jonathan "The Coach" Coachman of ESPN shows up and announces that SportsCenter will be filming at WrestleMania. I'm not sure who gets excited about these things.

-#- Remember when Del Rio came back and people thought it would mean something? If this match was any indicator, the League of Nations/New Day match at Mania is going to be a heatless one.

- Roman Reigns is backstage and he gets heckled by the Dudleys. I guess this is a continuation of a storyline that happened on SmackDown, but as I don't watch that show regularly, it made little sense to me. Triple H then shows up to help them beat down the number one contender to the WWE Title.

- United States Champion Kalisto vs. Konnor was next. Kalisto is facing Ryback on Sunday in what has to be one of the biggest head-scratchers on the card when you consider that guys like Owens, Zayn, and WrestleMania 27 main eventer, The Miz, were bundled together in a clusterfuck multi-man. Nice to see Kalisto get a clean win here as champions should routinely do that in both title and non-title matches to establish why they're champion. Ryback shows up in the post-match and we get a staredown followed by Ryback doing his "Feed Me More" chant, which seems counterproductive if he's a heel now and should be trying to get heat, not cheers.

- Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman make their way down the aisle. We get a video clip of what happened on SmackDown, Lesnar taking out the Wyatt Family and then doing the same to his WrestleMania opponent Dean Ambrose with a kendo stick. Paul Heyman proceeds to cut the best promo of the night, the kind of serious, passionate, hang-on-every-word speech that Triple H dreams he could do, that the New Day are too goofy to pull off, that the Undertaker could never muster in his emotionless Deadman drone. Dean Ambrose shows up with a red wagon and fills it up with weapons he finds stashed around and under the ring but we don't get any physicality.

-#- I actually thought this was kind of a clever segment, but am not sure it was the best one to "go home" with.

- Stop, Diva Time. My favorite part of this was Emma's entrance music. The Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Natalya, and a Mystery Talent) will be taking on Emma, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, and Naomi on Sunday. Of course, Naomi has been heavily featured on Total Divas in the past, so, continuity doesn't seem to matter. Emma took on Paige tonight, though, a match that would've met something at some point, but Paige has been in the WWE's basement forever now and Emma, despite being one of the best performers on NXT this year, is a relative unknown. The crowd did not care one bit about this even as Emma and Paige actually showed off some solid sequences, putting together a better 4-minute match than any of the men did tonight. As the Total Divas get beaten down, Eva Marie makes the save, drawing the loudest boos I've heard a woman get since Vickie Guerrero left. It seems Eva will be the mystery partner, though, I'm not sure why they'd book things that way when she is clearly best utilized as a heat-seeking heel and potential valet for a more talented performer that has trouble drawing heat (maybe Ryback?).

-#- On a show filled with matches I'm not looking forward to, the 5-diva tag match will be the most  skippable of all on Sunday.

- Goldust and Booker T are backstage and they do something inconsequential.

- 6 out of the 7 entrants on Sunday's Intercontinental Ladder Match competed next: The Miz, Kevin Owens, and Stardust taking on Sami Zayn, Dolph Ziggler, and Sin Cara next (Zack Ryder wrestled earlier in the night). A loud "Ole!" chant started things off, the crowd obviously in support of Sami Zayn as he stepped in against The Miz. Cut to a commercial and the crowd is shitting on the match, "having fun" as JBL puts it but really just trying to amuse themselves because they're not interested in the match, at times chanting "JBL," "CM Punk," "RVD," and a variety of things I could not make sense of. Predictable but well-executed finishing stretch where everyone landed their signature spot. The best match of the night, but also the most confusing due to the crowd's chanting.

-#- I'm such a Miz mark. While everyone else sees money in Zayn/Owens based on their history, I'd love to see The Miz and Owens or The Miz and Zayn have an extended feud first.

- And Triple H is back out. Him and Stephanie talk about something or other, but by this point, I've tuned out. Roman Reigns shows up, a brawl ensues, and the locker room takes part in a pull apart considerably less heated and interesting than the one Brock Lesnar and Undertaker had last year. As the go home scene to your biggest pay-per-view of the year, this was uncreative and lackluster, the crowd popping at certain times but nowhere near as hot as they were for the opening segment.


I don't typically do predictions for approaching pay-per-views, but I'll go ahead and give one for this Sunday's WrestleMania 32: It will suck way less than the build would have you think, but will not be an all-time great show.

WWE Survivor Series 89'

DISCLAIMER - I will readily admit to not being a fan of Survivors matches. I will also admit that this may be because I didn't grow up on the "real" Survivor Series PPV...series. I grew up on Survivor Series shows post-91' - events that were might have featured a Survivors match here or there, but were largely built around attraction matches (namely Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan at Survivor Series 91', Big Bossman vs. arch nemesis Nailz the next year, and obviously Michaels/Hart in 97'). 

The Survivor Series was never about Survivors matches to me. 

Now, I wasn't ignorant of the fact that the early incarnations of the show featured this match type - I just didn't really care for the concept. 4-on-4 matches based on elimination rules? 4-5 of em' per 3-hour show? I could do the math and I figured these shows would be filled with lengthy, repetitive, formulaic action. No titles on the line meant no real significance too. As a kid, I passed on these when I saw em' on the video store. No, thanks, I'll just rent WrestleMania VII for the twentieth time, please.  Or, more realistically, pop in the VHS copy I dubbed from CableVision. 

And, so, if you're one of those people who absolutely love Survivor Series matches, you'll likely be disappointed in my review. You'll argue that I don't "get it." I don't know what there is to get, but I went into this show with as open a mind as I could finagle. 

Survivor Series 89' - November 1989

Chicago, Illinois

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Hulk Hogan is the WWF World Champion, the Ultimate Warrior holds the Intercontinental Championships, and Demolition are the WWF World Tag Team Champions.

COMMENTATORS: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Survivor Series 89' starts off with a promo from Hulk Hogan, running down the list of things he's thankful for. This is followed by words from Ted DiBiase, Jake Roberts, Demolition, Randy Savage, Hacksaw Duggan, Dino Bravo and Earthquake, Dusty Rhodes, Bossman, Beefcake, Rick "The Model" Martel, Rick Rude, Piper, The Genius, Mr. Perfect, The Bushwackers, The Brain, and, finally, The Ultimate Warrior. Fun opening. (+1)

Big Bossman, Rick Martel, Bad News Brown, and Honky Tonk Man make their way down the aisle to the awesome sounds of Slick's theme music (one of my favorites of the 80s). Their opponents are "The Dream Team" of Brutus Beefcake, The Red Rooster, Tito Santana, and, getting his own special entrance, "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes. Santana and Honky start things off, but Martel comes in quickly to work on his former tag partner. The crowd pops huge when Dusty Rhodes come in and squares off against a fresh Big Bossman and gives an equally respectable pop for Brutus Beefcake's tag in. Terry Taylor comes in for a spell, but the first pinfall comes when Martel eliminates the future El Matador. Down 4-on-3, Dusty Rhodes comes in, landing some big strikes and a dropkick (to the amazement of Ventura). Beefcake and Taylor get tagged in and Martel is in all sorts of trouble until he makes the tag and Bossman comes in. Bossman locks in a bearhug, but can't put the Rooster out, and Bad News comes in for the first time. Taylor makes everything Bad News does look great, though, but a miscommunication leads to conflict among the heels, Bad News storming off in disgust. Beefcake scores the next pinfall, hitting a high knee to eliminate Honky Tonk (trivia fact: the high knee would become Beefcake's finisher when he became the Booty Man in WCW). Martel comes in and slows things down, bringing Beefcake to the mat with a snug headlock. After trying to cheat his way to a victory, Martel falls prey to a roll-up and things are now 3-on-1 in favor of the faces. Rooster eats a Bossman Slam to make things 2-on-1. The Dream steps in, but rapidly makes a tag for Beefcake, using their numbers to take advantage of a tired and beaten down Bossman. A crossbody brings the match to a close, but Bossman and Slick refuse to leave without getting some revenge, cuffing Rhodes to the ring rope and attacking him with his night stick. Beefcake makes the save with his hedge clippers. Not a bad match, but not the first one I'd choose to show someone who (like me) has a bit of a prejudice against Survivor Series matches. At close to 30 minutes, but nothing really exceptional happening, this is an average showcase at best. (2/5)

Big Bossman is interviewed by Sean Mooney in the back. Mooney then sends things over to "Mean" Gene who is standing with the 4x4s, "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin, Bret Hart, Hercules, and team captain Jim Duggan. 

Back in the arena, The Fink introduces the King's Court - Randy "The Macho King" Savage, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Dino Bravo, and Earthqauke. The aforementioned Hart, Duggan, Hercules, and Ron Garvin are their opponents, coming out with no music but a respectable amount of cheers. The good guys play to the crowd to open things up, running the heels off the mat before the referee is finally able to get control of things. Savage and Hercules start things off, Savage tagging out to the Valentine, the muscleman hitting him with a big atomic drop before Bret Hart and Jim Duggan come in to continue their onslaught on The Hammer, targeting his shoulder. Hammer is eventually able to make a tag to Bravo, but it's Earthquake who gets the first pin for his team, crushing Hercules with his finisher. The match continues for awhile with Garvin getting beatdown for awhile before he's able to make a big tag to Hacksaw, who then evens things up by eliminating Valentine. Duggan lands himself in some trouble when Earthquake comes in, tagging out to Garvin, who ends up going toe-to-toe with Dino Bravo. Garvin lays into him with the Garvin Stomp, one of the lamest signature moves I can recall seeing. Savage and Bret come in and the action and excitement ramps up momentarily, though, when Bravo comes back in, the crowd deadens a bit. Garvin is eliminated soon after and things are now 3-on-2 in favor of the villains. Bret and Macho get some minutes in the ring together, but it's a somewhat awkward stretch - Macho gets tied up in the ropes when you'd expect the face to end up in that situation and Hart dominates for the most part (with Savage's offense coming in the form of hope spots). The easy-to-hate Bravo comes in, applies a bearhug to the Hitman, and the crowd rallies behind him in anticipation for a Hacksaw hot tag. Earthquake comes in instead, wearing down Hart with a big choke and elbow drop before Bravo comes back in. A mix-up by the heels allows for Bret to finally make it to his corner and Duggan comes in. For some reason, though, he ends up tagging.a tired Hitman back in moments later, an illogical decision that leads to his elimination and the heels making this a 3-on-1 bout. The crowd starts stomping their feet for Duggan, but it doesn't seem to faze Earthquake. The heels try to bum rush him, but Hacksaw clears them all out, firing up the audience in the process. Earthquake takes control of things as the crowd starts chanting "USA" in support of their hero, who gets hit with a variety of his opponent's signature spots, including an Earthquake elbow drop and Randy Savage double axehandle from the top. Sensational Sherri gets involved too, the finish becoming an overly complicated and, in my opinion, overly protective attempt to keep Duggan looking strong. Despite some solid work out of Hart, Savage, and Quake (three of my favorites), this is another one not worth seeking out. (2/5)

The Genius is welcomed to the show to present a Thanksgiving-themed poem. Like his SummerSlam one, it seems a bit lackluster compared to the ones he typically gave before his matches.

Already in the ring are the heel team for our next match - Ted DiBiase, Zeus, and The Powers of Pain. Soon enough their opponents arrive separately - Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Demolition, and the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Hulk Hogan. The heels get chased out of the ring at the start by Jake's pet snake, Damien, but we also get a staredown between Zeus and Hogan to kick things off. Noticeably absent are any comments about No Holds Barred. The Hulkster and the "Z Gangsta" start things off, shoving each other and exposing kayfabe by having Zeus no sell anything (including several shoulder blocks and a body slam). The crowd cheers on the Hulkster as Zeus chokes him out in the center of the ring, refusing to let up when the referee tries to pull him off and causing himself to get disqualified in one of the dumbest eliminations on the show so far. With Hogan beaten down, DiBiase comes in but, for whatever reason, doesn't immediately go for the cover and instead allows Hogan to get a bit of a second wind and make a tag to Jake Roberts. Demolition come in next, furthering the beatdown on DiBiase and turning the match around entirely. Demolition Ax gets eliminated minutes later due to some nefarious deeds, but the crowd barely reacts, thoroughly uninvested in any of this match since, without Zeus, there doesn't seem to be any real threat to Hogan around. Demolition Smash is eliminated next from a blind tag and big top rope clothesline from the Barbarian. Roberts comes in, the faces now down 3-to-2, but ends up taking a huge amount of punishment for his efforts. The Barbarian misses a splash from the top rope, allowing Hogan to come in and get some offense in, single-handedly taking out the Powers of Pain for a brief spell before getting dropped with a devastating spike piledriver. In a shocking twist, both members of the Powers of Pain are disqualified for their double-team effort, a dubious decision at best. DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Sleeper, but Hogan is saved by Roberts when it seems all is lost. How this is not a DQ on Roberts makes little sense (and Ventura brings it up). DiBiase reapplies the hold, but Hogan breaks it by backing up into the corner. Hogan gets the tag in on Roberts who hits some good-looking offense on DiBiase, the best bumper in the match. Virgil shows up, but gets nailed with a DDT. DiBiase uses the distraction to his benefit by eliminating Roberts milliseconds later, the match coming down to Hogan vs. The Million Dollar Man. As one might predict, Hogan snags the W with his patented leg drop. A great example of "Hogan Was Really A Heel All Along" booking as this "victory" is about as tainted as could be, 3-out-of-4 members of DiBiase's team getting eliminated through shady DQs. I'll give it a half-point for DiBiase's outstanding efforts. (0.5/5)

Sean Mooney is in the back with "The Macho King" and Zeus to hype up the No Holds Barred pay-per-view special. He sends things over to "Mean" Gene who is standing with Brutus Beefcake and a sweat-covered Hulk Hogan. I wonder how many people actually purchased that show. Sherri shows up, throws some powder in Hogan and Beefcake's faces, and the heroes get beaten down by the heels.

Vince McMahon's booming voice hypes up the remaining two Survivor Series matches, which makes some sense because most would think the show was over now that Hogan had wrestled. I'm guessing even Hogan's biggest fan knew that the crowd was going to leave happier if they actually got to see a halfway decent wrestling match before they went home.

Sean Mooney is in the back with "Ravishing" Rick Rude and his squadron. Rude and Hennig are awesome, but even more awesome are Rude's tights.

It's time for our next bout - Rude's Brood vs. Roddy's Rowdies - Mr. Perfect, The Fabulous Rougeaus, and Rick Rude taking on Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and the Bushwhackers. Perfect start things off for his team, finding himself the whipping boy for all four members of the opposing team before tagging in a hesitant Jacques Rougeau. Between Hennig's selling and Rougeau's schtick, this is already considerably better than the laborious previous match. Snuka lands his splash from the top and Jacques is out, quickly replaced by Rude. The noticeably quicker tags and greater abundance of high spots really helps keep this one moving, my biggest gripe about the previous three matches being just how slow-paced they were even early on. Piper, far from a great mat worker, really does well in this setting too, getting the crowd into a frenzy and even pulling off an elimination via a piledriver on Ray Rougeau. With the heels down 4-2, Perfect tries to slow down their momentum, wearing down Hot Rod with a front headlock. Meanwhile, Rude does a nice job of "working the corner" as Steve Austin would call it. Bushwhacker Butch comes in, but can't put away Perfect either. Luke gets tagged in and has no more luck than his tag partner. Piper gets a huge pop by imitating Rude, but when Butch tries a taunt of his own, Perfect rolls him up. Piper comes in and attempts his own roll-up, but Perfect is too resilient. After taking a heck of a beating, Hennig is able to make the tag and Rude comes in, taking some offense from Luke before knocking him out with the Rude Awakening and evening things up. Good spot with Snuka kicking out of a Perfect pinfall attempt and Hennig hopping all the way onto the ref's back. The rest of the match isn't flawless, but it tells a strong story and offers far more dynamic and intense action (as well as the continued excellence of Perfect here) than any of the matches that came before it. I'm not a huge fan of Survivors matches (as this review is no doubt making clear), but this is one I'd definitely watch again. (3.5/5)

Good heel promo from Rude's Brood. Absolutely awesome interview from the Ultimate Warrior's team next. My god, Warrior is absolutely insane here. I'm not sure I understood a single word he said until the last two words (when he said his name). (+1)

The Heenan Family is already in the ring - Andre The Giant, Haku, Arn Anderson, and...Bobby "The Brain" Heenan himself. The story goes that Tully Blanchard failed a drug test the day of the show, which is why he was pulled out in the last minute. As for the match...Before Warrior can make his entrance, the heels beat up on the faces. Warrior explodes into the ring (without music) and clotheslines Andre out of the ring, the crowd going bonkers for him. Andre is then counted out, this match basically ending before it even starts. Anderson comes in for his team and goes back and forth with Neidhart. On the outside, Andre gets hit with some additional boots and stomps by Warrior as he leaves the arena, irritating the hell out of Ventura. Neidhart gets eliminated next, followed by Haku and then Marty Jannetty, Shawn Michaels and Arn Anderson especially getting some time to showcase their talent. The appeal of this one to modern viewers will certainly be the final 10 minutes or so, a rare opportunity to see the Heartbreak Kid, Enforcer, and Ultimate Warrior all sharing the ring at the same time. Bobby Heenan gets trounced in the end to wrap up a match that doesn't offer the quality action that the previous one did, but was considerably more fun than the other "main event" battle starring Hogan and Zeus (thanks to Heenan's bumping, Warrior's energy, and Arn Anderson injecting the match with some subtle character work that tells a much more interesting story than one would expect). (2.5/5)



With a surprisingly not woeful 2.5-out-of-5 on my ol' watchability scale, Survivor Series 89' actually earned an identical score as SummerSlam 89' and higher than the InVasion show. Color me surprised. What helped things were the fun video opening, interview segments out of a peak-era Ultimate Warrior, and the fact that the heels of the era, namely Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, Arn Anderson, and Ted DiBiase are such pros that they carry their matches to being watchable (at least for stretches if not their entirety). On the negative side, Hulk Hogan not only looks out of place in the midcard, but out of ideas on how to maintain the crowd's interest without embarrassing himself and others. Randy Savage, one of my all-time faves, blends into his surroundings in a bout that needed more of him. With only 5 matches, the bouts go considerably longer than they have any need to and the fact that there is not a single match that deviates from the Survivors stipulation makes things awfully repetitive. Recommended to only fans who already know they like this sort of thing.

FINAL RATING -  High Risk Maneuver