ECW November to Remember 2000

ECW November to Remember 2000

Chicago, IL - November 2000

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, the ECW World Champion was Jerry Lynn, the ECW Television Champion was Rhyno, and the Full Blooded Italians - Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke - were the ECW Tag Team Champions.

The final ECW November to Remember kicks off with some hype from tonight's participants in the first-ever "Double Jeopardy" match (or matches?) and then the usual pre-match shtick from Joey Styles and Joel Gertner, who get interrupted by Simon Diamond. Diamond complains about not getting credit for taking out Tommy Dreamer - which, unsurprisingly, leads to Dreamer coming out and going after Diamond. This brings out Diamond's buddy Johnny Swinger and then the guys that Diamond and Swinger fought at the last pay-per-view - Christian York and Joey Matthews. This "match" goes lightning fast with very little back and forth, though I did like the amount of double-team moves on display. Overall, though, a pretty unremarkable opener and a bit of a waste of Tommy Dreamer, whose appearance could barely even qualify as a "cameo." (1.5/5)

The previous match morphs into CW Anderson vs. Kid Kash. Kash was very over with the ECW audience that was still around in 2000. Having now seen quite a few CW Anderson matches, I've gotta say, this guy improved a ton in a short period of time and was unjustly underrated by me initially. His offense looks great and he's a great foil against the high-flying Kash in this match. Plus, they pull off a stalling vertical superplex! I wouldn't call this a hidden gem because its not a "must see," but it is more than solid because Kash and Anderson have great chemistry and the crowd is into things much more than they may have been 6-8 months earlier when these guys were less established. (3/5)

A six-man tag match follows as Chris Hamrick, EZ Money, and Julio Dinero (with Electra) take on Danny Doring, Roadkill, and....Spike Dudley! Hamrick stands out as the best heel of the bunch and Spike Dudley is mega over with the Chicago crowd. Some of the spots were a bit contrived, but hey, that's not a bad thing when you have a match like this that is basically just organized chaos. Slightly above-average match. (3/5)

Before the match begins, Chris Chetti and his manager Lou E. Dangerously come out and Chetti announces that his bout with former tag partner Nova will now have a "Loser Leaves ECW" stipulation attached. I really liked how "personal" this match was, especially at its start, as Nova and Chetti brought the physicality and really got over the intensity of their rivalry. Nova was known for his innovative offense and there are some terrific spots in this match, though I'm not a fan of his Venom-inspired ring gear. I guess the rumor was that Chetti was headed to the WWE, but I couldn't find any actual evidence beyond someone mentioning in a review of this show that Meltzer reported it in the Observer. This one sort of fizzles out by the end, but I'd still consider slightly above average. (3/5)

After a crazy promo from New Jack, its time for a Flaming Tables match pitting Da Baldiez against Balls Mahoney and Chilly Willy. This is the sort of wild brawl that ECW built its reputation on, only its nearly impossible to see most of the action that happens in the crowd and, by 2000, there was nothing new to see here and the talent involved was far less interesting (aside from the only true "ECW original" in the match, Mahoney). There are stiff chair shots galore and I liked Angel delivering a powerbomb to Willy through a pair of chairs in the aisleway. This one ends with Mahoney putting Angel through a flaming table with a powerbomb. All in all, this isn't my sort of match, but I've seen worse and more boring brawls. (2.5/5)

Rhyno defended his ECW Television Championship against New Jack in the next bout. This is about what I expected - which is unfortunate because the mental bar I set was pretty low and Rhyno and New Jack couldn't surpass it. Rhyno can be a good-to-very good (I'm not sure I'd go as far as to say "great" based on what I've seen from him), but New Jack's one-note shtick had really become played out by 2000 and Rhyno, while certainly capable of getting as hardcore as anyone, didn't bring out anything new or exciting from the Original Gangsta. 3 years earlier, New Jack was part of a wild brawl that I gave 3.5 points to, but this was way less inspired and felt much less "dangerous," which is really the only thing that New Jack often brought to his matches. With all the silly weapons, he had almost become the Carrot Top of hardcore wrestling by this point when, years earlier, he exuded an undeniable amount of menace. (1.5/5)

Thankfully, the next match actually delivers the kind of wild-and-crazy chaos and hard-hitting action that the previous didn't as Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke defend the ECW World Tag Team Championships against Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck. When he was "on," Mikey Whipwreck was a very fun worker to watch, Tajiri and Guido might be the most underrated and underappreciated acts in ECW history, and while Tony Mamaluke wasn't a phenom, he was a capable tag worker and had the speed and agility to keep up with the other three. I loved the combo work of Tajiri and Whipwreck, but found Whipwreck's phony injury a bit of an unnecessary swerve and, based on the crowd response, not much of a "swerve" because almost instantly after Whipwreck is helped to the back, the crowd begins chanting for Super Crazy. After withstanding a bit of a 2-on-1 beatdown, Super Crazy makes his arrival and the match gets even better as he was mega over with the crowd and his offense looks (mostly) fantastic. Super Crazy eventually hits a moonsault off the balcony, which gets a huge response (as expected), but it also ends up costing his team the match because Tajiri is left alone in the ring and has to deal with both members of the FBI. I enjoyed this match quite a bit more than anything else on the card up to this point. (3.5/5)

Backstage, porn star Jasmin St. Claire and The Blue Meanie (her real-life boyfriend somehow) are in a shower together plugging ECW's website. At this point, Meanie had lost a ton of weight and was looking pretty svelte.

Main event time - the Double Jeopardy match: Steve Corino vs. The Sandman and Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible happening at the same time with the winners competing for the ECW World Championship. Jerry Lynn came into the match as the ECW World Champion and starts the match essentially fighting on a 2-on-1 battle against the heels, though Corino and Credible end up brawling too. I like the realism in that but I don't always seek that out in wrestling, especially in ECW, where way too often there were matches that lacked a real structure and "through-line." The Sandman eventually shows up and does his extended introduction, which pops the crowd but serves no purpose in the context of the match. Again, for The Sandman's character and for his motivation, it would make total sense to not really care all that much as Jerry Lynn got beaten down in the ring - I mean, a beaten-up Lynn would only help The Sandman win his fourth ECW World Championship - but, in terms of storytelling, I kinda wish The Sandman had come in and started cleaning house, taking out the heels before bashing Lynn in the skull too. Anyway...from a wrestling perspective, Lynn doesn't really get the opportunity to shine much because this match is mostly a brawl, while Steve Corino stands out for his bumping and selling. Really, at this point, Corino might have been ECW's best overall character and worker and - spoiler alert - totally deserved to win the title here. Speaking of Corino, he and Credible defeat their respective opponents simultaneously, which (I'm guessing) was designed to push Corino even further into babyface territory as he had become somewhat popular over the previous months by proving his toughness in some brutal matches against Tajiri, Dusty Rhodes, and others. The crowd isn't fully behind Corino, though, and there are a ton of boos when the match becomes "heel vs. heel" (not a surprise there), though the crowd does cheer for Corino a bit more when Dawn Marie turns on him. I understand the booking here...but I'm not sure the execution was as strong as it could've/would've been if the Dawn Marie turn would've happened earlier and Credible had done more to "screw" Jerry Lynn rather than pinning him relatively cleanly (the extra heat on Credible would've helped Corino garner even more support going into the final minutes). All in all, I found this to be as messy as I suspected it would. (2/5)

For ECW, the writing was certainly on the wall by this point. Having lost their television deal (the WWE was in the process of jumping from USA to TNN/Spike), ECW's new plan was supposedly to put on monthly pay-per-views until they could land on a new network. That being said, their other issue was a roster that lacked legitimate stars after multiple years of seeing their biggest names leave the company (Tazz, The Dudleys, Shane Douglas, Terry Funk, among others) and then, when a select few would return, they no longer had the "buzz" they once did (Raven and The Sandman). That's not to say ECW didn't have some great young talents on its roster - Tajiri and Steve Corino delivered great work at this time, Jerry Lynn could always be counted on to bring the goods from bell-to-bell, and the tag division was arguably better than it had ever been now that the company had moved on from the garbage brawling of The Dudleys and Gangstas and got back to its pro-wrestling roots with solid teams like the ever-improving Roadkill & Doring, Mamaluke and Guido as a more serious version of The Full-Blooded Italians, and relative newcomers York & Matthews. Still, this show is hard to recommend with only one match worth checking out and a Kwang Score of 2.5-out-of-5...

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver

WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs 2013

WWE TLC: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs 2013

Houston, Texas - December 2013

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, Randy Orton was the WWE Champion, John Cena was the World Heavyweight Champion, Big E was the Intercontinental Champion, the US Championship was still held by Dean Ambrose, AJ Lee was the Divas Champion, and the WWE Tag Team Champions were the Rhodes Brothers.

Our opening contest pitted CM Punk against all three members of The Shield in a handicap match. This match is somewhat notorious as it became one of the focal points of CM Punk's infamous post-WWE interview on former best friend Colt Cabana's Art of Wrestling podcast months later. According to Punk, Vince McMahon pitched the concept of the match to Punk as an effort to placate him at a time when he was noticeably peeved with the company (Punk thought the notion of him winning a 3-on-1 match against three guys who were getting a massive push was stupid) but also made sure to note that he wanted Roman Reigns to come out of the match looking particularly strong. Despite these somewhat contradictory marching orders, Punk and The Shield manage to make things work for the most part. An unconvincing "eye injury" keeps Reigns out of the match and essentially makes things 2-on-1 for the finishing stretch, which makes the pill of Punk beating three men single-handed easier to swallow. As other reviewers have said, this was about as good as a match like this could be as Punk had good chemistry with everyone and the crowd was very much behind him. The execution of the finish was well done too. (3/5)

Next up - AJ Lee defending the WWE Divas Championship against Natalya. This match was built up over several months and, compared to most women's matches of this era, was actually given a fair amount of time at 6+ minutes (in 2023, most women's titles matches go beyond 10). Unfortunately, this match just didn't click with me and certainly didn't wow the live crowd either. It was more hard-hitting and technical and "serious" than the type of matches that the WWE would routinely present from their women's division, but that doesn't necessarily make it very engaging or interesting to watch. This is the type of match that you want to exceed your expectations because both women are capable performers who were arguably among the best workers on the women's wrestlers on the roster at the time, but it doesn't quite get there for some reason. (2/5)

The Intercontinental Championship was on the line next as Big E defended against Damien Sandow. A rather generic match built from maybe the most generic transition in wrestling history (a guy shoulder-tackling the post), I have grown to really not like Damien Sandow - a guy who is maybe a nice dude and was pretty funny on I Think You Should Leave, but really underwhelms me once the bell rings. He has some natural charisma, but I find my mind wandering whenever I watch one of his matches, uninterested and often waiting for things to just wrap up. Maybe its the the thin "better than you" gimmick? The uninspired look? Meanwhile, while Big E would eventually become one of my favorites of the past decade, he's still inside his shell here a bit and had not yet connected all the dots to get himself over as a the lovable, fun powerhouse babyface that could get an entire arena behind him. I kinda wish this had been more of a squash and less of a back-and-forth match, but, at the time, I believe there was still some optimism about Sandow breaking out which is why it wasn't a dominant win for E. Nothing special here, but not totally offensive. (2/5)

The WWE Tag Team Championships were on the line as Goldust and Cody Rhodes defended the straps in a 4-way match against The Real Americans, Big Show & Rey Mysterio, and Rybaxel (Ryback & Curtis Axel). Unsurprisingly, Rybaxel got eliminated first and Goldust was the MVP of the match. Goldust might be one of the most underrated workers in wrestling history just because not enough people put him in the top 10 - but this guy's longevity, multiple successful gimmicks, and multiple "comebacks" are unparalleled. The Real Americans - particularly Cesaro - were actually over as babyfaces, more than likely because they had a cool catchphrase and the Cesaro Swing is a 100% babyface move. Overall, a good match, but not a great one. Mysterio and Show were a good pairing, but after being such a key figure in the Authority storyline, I'm not sure I understood why Big Show was seemingly right back on the midcard hamster wheel competing against the Rhodes Brothers who, if I remember correctly, he was in a very clear alliance with just a few weeks prior (in fact, didn't he help them beat The Shield for the titles and keep their jobs???). Not a ton to say about this match, just kinda there. (2.5/5)

R-Truth took on Brodus Clay in the next match. Clay was in the midst of a heel turn at this point, breaking off from the Funkadactyls and "Sweet T" (aka Lord Tensai, aka Matt Bloom with a hip-hop inspired moniker). R-Truth was backed up by Xavier Woods. This match went 6 minutes and they weren't good or interesting. Not much else to say about this aside from, in my research, I found that Brodus Clay completed his heel turn the next night on Raw and then basically lost to everyone he had been feuding with/involved with over the next several weeks. I'm guessing he appeared at the Rumble the next month, but I'm not 100% on that. 6 months later, he was out of the company after, based on his Wikipedia, a short stint in NXT where I'm guessing they were hoping to get him a bit smoother and more dynamic in the ring as, despite undeniable size and a unique look and even some charisma, he was just not fun or interesting to watch once the bell rang. (1/5)

The next match - Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz - was much better than the loud and audible "boring" chants would lead you to believe. These two brought the intensity and really tried to have a hard fought match, but The Miz was not appreciated at all at this time so the live crowd just wouldn't give him any sort of response. Kofi was even less over than The Miz, nowhere near as beloved as he would become when The New Day basically saved his (and Woods' and Big E's careers). Again, watch this match with the sound off and you are going to see some really good work - this felt like a real personal fight between two guys who genuinely hated each other - but the live audience shits all over it because they didn't buy into the animosity and intensity shown by the two characters, neither of whom were known for having that "second gear" yet. (2/5)

A second 3-on-1 match follows as Daniel Bryan takes on all three members of the Wyatt Family - Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Erick Rowan. If the Punk/Shield match was worked smartly but maybe had the wrong ending, this one is arguably the best 3-on-1 handicap match I've ever seen. From beginning to end, Bryan takes the fight to the Wyatts, going after his much larger opponents with stiff kicks and explosive high-flying offense. He is a whirling dervish in the ring and the crowd is red hot for him. What pushes this past the Shield match from earlier is that the story, while simple, is much more effective as the juxtaposition of characters - the undersized underdog vs. the dark monsters - makes for a funner, more chaotic match. That chaos is particularly useful because, if the match were worked straight - like some of the Shield/Punk was - Bryan really wouldn't stand a chance. There are also some specifically cool moments as Bray Wyatt busts out the horror movie-inspired crab walk (which draws "That was creepy!" chants from the Houston crowd) and I loved Bryan's selling throughout and his plancha to the outside. This is just a great 12-minute match that furthered a story without sacrificing anyone's overness. (3.5/5)

Main event time - John Cena vs. Randy Orton in a WWE Championship/World Heavyweight Championship title unification fought under TLC rules. Cena and Orton have had a ton of matches over the years, but I'm not sure I've ever truly loved one. Their match at Bragging Rights 2009 - an Anything Goes Ironman Match - is often cited as their best and I only gave that a 3.5 on the Kwang Meter, while this match had a bit of reputation for being a bit cold due to the fact that, in 2013, there simply was no hotter babyface than Daniel Bryan and one could even argue that CM Punk was as over as Cena was. Meanwhile, Orton is...well, Orton. Orton has always been a crisp worker with great timing, a natural heel with innate charisma and a good sense of "old school pacing." However, this deliberate style - much like that of his mentor Triple H - doesn't always result in the most riveting matches and Orton, years later, became a much more exciting worker when he was allowed to cut loose a bit and have more fun, RKOing out of nowhere and playing to the crowd as a tweener/babyface that relishes in punishing his opponents as a cocky badass. He is not that Orton yet here and so the match doesn't feel like anything fresh. There are good spots throughout, but nothing as incredible as what Cena did with Edge 7-8 years earlier. Neither guy is known for their high-flying, so we don't get any crazy dives. The final spot of the match looks incredibly painful, but one suspects that Cena - who gets pulled off the top of a ladder and into a table shoulder-first - was meant to actually crash through the furniture, leaving it in splinters, rather than just taking a very awkward (and probably much more painful) landing. The crowd was into this match, but you can hear, especially early on, a smattering of "Daniel Bryan" chants coming through. The Houston crowd isn't dead or indifferent, but one does have to wonder if this match wouldn't be more well-regarded had it occurred at a time when there was more interest in these performers, both of whom were guys that some of the audience had undoubtedly tired of. (3/5)

I wouldn't call this a "notorious" show because, 10 years later, few remember it - but this was certainly a controversial show at the time as Daniel Bryan was the most popular guy on the roster, CM Punk wasn't far behind, and yet neither guy was being positioned at the top of the card. Meanwhile, Cena and Orton's popularity in large parts of the "IWC" had taken a serious hit as both veterans were seen as the "corporate choices" being pushed down the fans' throats. This was undeniably true and had been true since at least 2005, but by 2013, Cena and Orton really had accomplished all there was to accomplish in the company, their acts coming off as stale and staid in comparison to what Bryan and CM Punk had been doing for the past year. It is this huge grey cloud of fan cynicism that covers this otherwise solid show, keeping the main event from ever really working and making so many of the other matches seem inconsequential and safe. I mean, why bother investing in some of these characters and performers when, ultimately, Vince is going to promote lame acts like The Great Khali and Brodus Clay over guys like Ziggler or Evan Bourne or Heath Slater, guys who were on the main roster and capable of putting on much better matches than the aforementioned monsters. With a Kwang Score of 2.38-out-of-5, the 2013 edition of Tables, Ladders, and Chairs isn't a total slog - the 3-on-1 matches are surprisingly good-to-great, The Miz/Kofi match deserved a more enthusiastic reception, and the main event is fine - but the rest of the card is a bit dull. 

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

WWE Fastlane 2023

WWE Fastlane 2023

Indianapolis, Indiana - October 2023

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the WWE Universal Champion was Roman Reigns, the World Heavyweight Champion was Seth Rollins, the Intercontinental Champion was GUNTHER, the United States Champion was Rey Mysterio, the Judgment Day's Finn Balor and Damien Priest were the Unified Tag Team Champions, the SmackDown Women's Champion was IYO Sky, the RAW Women's Champion was Rhea Ripley, the Women's Tag Team Champions were Chelsea Green and Piper Niven. 

Fastlane 2023 opened up with a video package featuring Pat McAfee. Having not watched much of any of the WWE's weekly programming, I was a bit underwhelmed with the card. Nakamura and Rollins' match at last month's show was good - maybe even the best either man has had in awhile - but I didn't necessarily see how it could've led to a rematch here. Meanwhile, the Bloodline saga without Roman Reigns feels a bit like when Redd Foxx wasn't on Sanford and Son to me. 

Anyway, the in-ring festivities began with Cody Rhodes and Jey Uso challenging the WWE's Unified Tag Team Champions, Finn Balor and Damien Priest of the Judgment Day. With everyone getting big, lengthy introductions, this match didn't even get started until like the 10-12 minute mark of the show (which tended to also show what the WWE's plan was as far as filling out a show that only had 5 advertised matches). Balor and Priest dominated Main Event Jey early, cutting the ring in half and building the heat by preventing Cody Rhodes from making the tag. Cody eventually came in to a big reaction and landed an insane vertical superplex from the corner that looked absolutely devastating to both men. Jey Uso came back in and got the crowd chanting his name, landing a big splash off the top for 2. This match was worked a relatively slow pace with some lengthy breaks between the big spots, but everyone got a chance to shine and the crowd was with them from beginning to end. Rhea Ripley's presence late in the match spiced things up nicely, but the Damien Priest hurricanrana-into-Coup De Gras spot looked a bit awkward and choreographed. Cody made the save, which led to a 2-on-2 brawl. Priest went for a spingboard something and fell into an awkward superkick from Cody that looked ugly. Uso ate a briefcase to the face for a great false finish, so well executed that it made up for the clumsiness of the previous few minutes. Priest hit a sidewalk slam on the edge of the ring, but after McDonough inadvertently struck his stablemate with the briefcase, Rhodes hit his finish on Priest on the announce table. Uso came flying out of the ring soon, landing on Finn and McDonough. The faces continued their rally with a beautiful combo of a Superkick into an Uso-assisted Cody Cutter to win the titles in what I would consider something of a shocker. A really good match with a few sloppy moments, but, overall, plenty to enjoy and a great crowd-pleasing finish. (3.5/5)

After a commercial aired for this week's major NXT show - which will feature appearances from John Cena and Cody Rhodes (in an effort to counterprogram AEW's Tuesday night special) - the all-too-familiar sound of the Undertaker's gong went off. I'm guessing the Deadman is going to make some sort of appearance on the show, though I can't imagine why. I doubt the Phenom has any matches left in the tank, though a "cinematic" match like the one he had against AJ Styles some years ago seems within the realm of possibility. Anyway...

The Street Profits and Bobby Lashley took on Rey Mysterio, Santos Escobar, and what was supposed to be a mystery partner in the next match. I didn't know Mysterio was the reigning United States Champion but learning that put a smile on my face as Mysterio continues to be one of the best performers on the roster even after 20+ years of working. When the match began, it was 3-on-2, but the babyfaces started off hot with Escobar landing some big moves, including a wild hurricanrana off the top rope onto Montez Ford. Speaking of Ford, he and Dawkins were so popular as babyfaces that I'm not sure it was the wisest move to turn them heel, but maybe the longterm plan is to slowly build Ford as a singles guy? Their heel shtick wasn't bad, though, and I did like some of Montez's audible lines in reference to this match being noticeably sponsored by Pizza Hut. As a bit of a Lashley mark, I really liked his minutes with Rey, these two having natural chemistry just because of the peanut butter-and-jelly contrast of their characters and styles. Ford took out Escobar on the outside, which led to Mysterio having no one to tag in until we got the return of Carlito, who got a huge ovation and looked considerably more swole than he did the last time he was a regular on WWE programming. Carlito hit a Backstabber on Ford to get the W. My only real gripe is that Carlito now has new music which is much more "hype" than his old music but not nearly as unique. Another above-average match. (3/5)

Shameless Pizza Hut promotion followed as Graves and Cole got a pizza delivered to them by Xavier Woods. This was then followed by an ad for the upcoming Crown Jewel event. 

What was more interesting was the on-screen debut of Jade Cargill, who was shown arriving at the arena and shaking the hand of Triple H while wearing what can only be described as "barely anything." I take it that this means Cargill will not be working at NXT - at least not yet - and will be debuting right on the main roster. We'll see how that turns out...

Next up - Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka vs. Iyo Sky for Sky's SmackDown Women's Championship (or whatever it is called now). Asuka used her mist in the first seconds of the match, a shockingly brilliant strategy that nearly won her the match right from the bell. This led to Iyo and Asuka essentially working a 1-on-1 match for the next few minutes as Charlotte went to the outside to get the mist away from her eyes with help from the medical team. Iyo and Asuka put on a great show against eachother but the live crowd seemed fairly disinterested until Charlotte came back into the ring. I'm a big Flair fan and thought she looked good here, holding her own against two very skilled competitors. Asuka hit a nasty german suplex from the second rope at one point, a match highlight, but Flair chopping down both women got an even bigger reaction. I was less impressed with Flair needlessly doing a front cartwheel before hitting a double clothesline, but its not like half the men on WWE's and AEW's roster don't embellish their moves with that sort of stuff. Shirai hit an awesome crossbody to the floor. The match tended to dip everytime Flair was out of the mix but only because the crowd seemed dead despite seeing some really good stuff. After hitting her trademark moonsault to the outside, Flair looked to be in control, taking out Asuka with a big boot back in the ring. Flair went to the ropes but Iyo caught her with a great simple uppercut and then the two battled on the top turnbuckle. Flair went for a fireman's carry, but it turned into a ridiculous Tower of Doom spot instead. Again, such a cool spot should've got a big reaction, but the crowd's enthusiasm seemed to dissipate soon after. Maybe the issue is that, with Iyo still sorta alligned with Bayley and Asuka essentially being a "tweener" character for so much of her run, there was no clear babyface? There were some good nearfalls towards the end of the match, including a would-be victory for Charlotte off of a spear. Bayley came down to help Iyo, but her involvement seemed to distract the champ more than help her. Asuka hit a flying knee for 2 and the match continued. Flair applied the Figure 8, but Bayley distracted the referee, allowing Iyo to hit the moonsault from the top rope and retain the championship. I wouldn't say this was "must see" but it was very good. I totally get that people hate Charlotte Flair for the way she is presented on TV and booked so strongly...but when you're this good, what other kind of booking should you get? (3.5/5)

Before the next match, Indianapolis' own Pat McAfee showed up and tried to wake the crowd up before the next match - LA Knight and John Cena vs. Solo Sikoa and Jimmy Uso. Cena spent most of the match on the mat, eating punishment for a good while before making the hot tag. LA Knight was super over with the crowd, but I still don't really get the appeal - especially from an in-ring standpoint as he doesn't really have all that flashy of a moveset and I don't think his bumping and selling are all that special either. Then again, this is  much precisely what was said about John Cena back in the day. Jimmy Uso and Solo Sikoa make for a fine team and I liked Paul Heyman's work on the outside, but this match did not warrant the "This is Awesome" chant it eventually got. (2.5/5)

Before the next match, we saw the Judgment Day nursing their wounds backstage. Rhea Ripley convinced Damien Priest not to attempt to cash-in the briefcase even though Rollins and Nakamura would be fighting in a Last Man Standing match. 

Main event time - Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura in a Last Man Standing match. The story coming into this match was that Nakamura was going to target Rollins back and, from the very start, that is what he did - ramming Rollins' back-first into the ring apron and the guardrail. Rollins fought back, though, and we got all sorts of weapon shots and furniture damage over the course of the contest. Last Man Standing matches are hard because, for starters, AEW has obviously raised the bar of what fans can and will get in terms of hardcore wrestling from a major mainstream promotion, delivering death match style contests on TV nearly weekly, something that even the WWE didn't do in the Attitude Era (and, I'd argue, ECW didn't do it when they were on TNN in the late 2000s either). For 20 years, the WWE version of a "hardcore match" was usually the only one most fans were seeing and TNA, while a bit wilder, wasn't pushing the envelope all that much further. The second issue is that, relying on a 10-count to finish a match, you really have to have workers capable of delivering big, high-impact moves or take ridiculous bumps or utilize uncommon set pieces (as we saw in the Lesnar/Reigns version at SummerSlam a few years back or the various John Cena LMS matches over the years). I'm not sure Rollins or Nakamura were the right characters for that. Rollins, even doing his Joker-inspired/Asuka-lifted over-the-top act, is still, when the bell rings, a wrestler that is all about workrate, counters and reversals, and often working a fast paced match that doesn't lend itself well to stopping for 7-8 seconds at a time. Nakamura may not be as quick and agile, but he's hardly a guy known for hardcore, weapon-filled matches either and almost seemed less dangerous with this stipulation. As the King of Strong Style, his strikes alone are supposed to deadly and adding kendo sticks and trash cans felt sorta cheap. Now, that's not to say this match didn't have some real highlights - Nak's double-knees through a table spot looked vicious, as did the Kinchasa that sent Rollins through another table moments later. I thought the Falcon Arrow looked good, even if I'd argue it wasn't "big" enough to properly end the match. I thought Nak's continued work on Rollins' lower back was a good through-line for the entire contest. Still, I don't think all the pieces and parts made for a particular memorable match or one that was "must see." Above-average, sure, but not a match I bet people will be raving about or even remembering a year from now. (3/5)

With a Kwang Score of 3.1-out-of-5, Fastlane 2023 was an overall strong show that looked a little thin on paper but ended up benefitting (mostly) from featuring matches with lengthier runtimes. The SmackDown Women's Championship was my Match of the Night and a quiet contender for being in the top 4-5 best women's matches of the year. The opener was excellent, the main event was what it needed to be, and only the Cena match underwhelmed. Overall, a worthwhile show to catch if you're a fan of the current WWE product.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

NWA TNA/Impact: Final Resolution 2007

NWA TNA/Impact: Final Resolution 2007

Orlando, FL - January 2007

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the NWA World Heavyweight Champion was Abyss, Hernandez and Homicide (the LAX) were the NWA Tag Team Champions, and the X-Division Champion was Christopher Daniels. 

Final Resolution 2007 kicks off with a Last Man Standing match between AJ Styles and Rhyno. AJ Styles had recently turned heel based on the commentary, but this crowd didn't seem to really hate on him too much - probably because he was consistently putting on great matches. This match didn't really live up to its gimmick as there wasn't really anything "hardcore" about it. Plus, with this stipulation, you had to pin your opponent first and then wait for a 10 count, which led to both guys taking "visual pins" from non-finishing moves. This would've been much better had it just been fought as a plain ol' wrestling match and they'd just let Rhyno get the W as the actual finish feels like a cop-out (Styles essentially quits the match and walks off, which leads to Rhyno piledriving him on the stage and then inadvertently putting himself through a table when he attempts to gore AJ through the tunnel). I have no doubt that had these two not been burdened with an awkward stipulation that didn't play to AJ's strengths and had been allowed to just work a 15-minute match it would've been considerably better than this. (2/5)

The X-Division Champion Christopher Daniels defended his title against Chris Sabin and Jerry Lynn in a match promoted as X-Division's "Past, Present, and Future" coming to blows. Usually, matches like this can be really fun spotfests, but for whatever reason, whether it was just the lack of chemistry or a lack of innovation or just the fact that these three characters don't really play off eachother well, this was underwhelming. Against AJ Styles and Samoa Joe, Daniels stood out in many ways - not as flashy as AJ, not as tough and powerful as Joe, but clever and crafty and capable of both technicality and high-flying. Here, there's no real juxtaposition between the competitors as all three have rather similar styles - a mix of technical wrestling and high-risk maneuvers, but none really had the explosivity or flash (though Sabin would get stronger in both tags and a singles over time). And so, these three guys put up a good match...but not a great match and certainly not a match on par with the best of the X-Division. (2.5/5)

The finals of the Paparazzi Championship Series is up next, a 10-minute "scored" match between Alex Shelley and Austin Starr (aka Austin Aries). I was surprised to learn the Kevin Nash/Alex Shelley partnership had only started 7-8 months earlier as I could've sworn they were doing brilliant taped segments as early as 2005. Whatever. The point is, Shelley and Nash were gold and I actually thought the Paparazzi Productions stuff got a bit watered down once they added ever other X-Division midcarder to it. Shelley and Austin have a good 10-minute match, but with that stipulation, it was clear that there was not going to be a winner. The judges are Bob Backlund, a Big Fat Oily Guy like the one that had been popping up on Raw (we'll get to why this is so stupid in a few paragraphs), and a dude in the mask they were calling Somalian Joe (get it? Because aside from the bad pun, I don't). After the bell rings, Backlund is the deciding vote and declares it a draw so Nash comes out and demands 5 more minutes. About a minute into the overtime, Shelley wins with a roll-up. The Nash/Shelley segments were funny because they were understated and clever and the cheap production value was charming, but this match and segment were a miss for me. 2-points for the action, no points for anything else. (2/5)

James Storm took on Petey Williams in a match pitting two former tag partners against eachother. I wasn't really paying attention to see why Storm attacking his former tag partner, Chris Harris, led to this match but it did. The real story was why Gail Kim was still Storm's valet after clearly siding with Harris too. Who cares, really. Decent enough action as Williams was a very talented, smooth worker who could make nearly anyone look halfway decent, including Storm, a guy that I never particularly saw anything super special in (especially as a singles worker). Storm gets the W through some heelishness and then handcuffs Williams to the corner. He looks to brain him with a beer bottle but gets stopped by Gail Kim. Jacqueline makes her TNA debut? Return? I'm not necessarily sure, but she shows up and her and Storm take Gail Kim out. At under 7 minutes, this didn't overstay its welcome, but it also didn't exceed my expectations for a run-of-the-mill, TV-quality TNA match. (2/5)

The next segment may be one of the worst things in TNA history. A bit of backstory here - Kip James (aka Billy Gunn) and BG James (The Road Dogg) had been cutting promos for weeks mocking the WWE, specifically their former DX stablemates Shawn Michaels and Triple H, who they referred by their non-kayfabe names because it was supposed to make their hatred seem "real." They "invaded" a WWE house show at one point. They showed up to Titan Tours. It was also nonsense that DX themselves had done roughly a decade earlier. They called themselves the "Voodoo Kin Mafia" so that their initials would match those of the WWE Chairman despite the name itself making no sense - neither guy practiced voodoo, they weren't brothers, and there was nothing mobster-esque about them. It was just three random words with those initials. A week or so before this show, they put up $1 million for DX to show up on PPV - a move that wasn't a parody of something DX did, but rather the same exact same thing Eric Bischoff had done in WCW (also about a decade earlier). And, just like in that instance, all it did was make the VKM (the Voodoo Kin Mafia, not Vince McMahon) look like total losers. And so, the VKM show up for their "fight" and proceed to run down the WWE...but not before admitting that they wished the best to Triple H, who had been injured recently. So, you'll mock these guys and "make it personal" for weeks and then when one of them gets legit hurt, its all "We love you, bro"? Ugh. Just awful. And the awfulness continues as BG James cuts a promo about how embarrassing it is that John Cena took an L to Kevin Federline. I'm not sure if he also made note of the Big Oily Guy that had been showing up on WWE TV for cheap laughs during this promo or if that was said a week or two earlier, but keep in mind - on this very show, TNA itself had brought out a Big Oily Guy for a cheap laugh. BG James sings a bar of "We're Not Gonna Take It" and tries his darndest to put over TNA as "the winner of the war" but absolutely no one could possibly buy it and it all comes off incredibly pathetic. Things go from terrible to even more terrible, though, when Christy Hemme shows up and proceeds to put on one of the worst acting jobs in pro-wrestling history, crying about how the women in DX's history (she mentions "Joanie Laurer" but forgets that there was also Tori, briefly) are ignored just like the ones backstage in TNA. Somehow Christy Hemme stating facts makes her the heel though and Kip James calls her a slut, which gets cheered. Its a bizarre, awful, backwards segment that ends with Hemme slapping Billy Gunn and BG holding him back from what I assume would've been male-on-female violence? Honestly, this was worse than WrestleCrap because WrestleCrap can be enjoyed. This was cringe-inducing awfulness that made me lose respect for everyone involved and anyone that allowed this to go on TV. Historically terrible. (-1)

Things get better, but not much better as Team 3D take on LAX (Hernandez and Homicide) for the NWA Tag Team Championships. This match was built up with an angle involving Brother Runt (Spike Dudley) getting beaten up by the LAX whilst wearing a Santa outfit and then becoming a drunk. I thought it was just a silly add-on to this feud, but (spoiler alert) Brother Runt ends up costing Team 3D the match when he drunkenly makes his way down to the ring and splashes Homicide, causing the ref to disqualify the would-be new champions. Its an awful finish, but its not like the match itself was very good. There are a few bright moments - Homicide's bumping into the guardrail from Bubba's punches, some nifty double-team work out of LAX - but I was a bit surprised to see that, despite being the company for over a year at this point, the Dudleys still looked a little awkward in the six-sided ring. And why was Bubba bleeding again? A real disappointment considering that I was expecting this to be at least average. (1/5)

I wouldn't call the next match an instant classic, but Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle in a 30-Minute Ironman Match is a very solid match and does adequately provide Joe and Angle the time needed to showcase their chemistry and skill. I really liked the psychology shown in the match too as both guys focused on locking each other in submission holds, forcing their opponent to submit before taking on too much damage. It was a smart story told and it was executed very well, though I do think this match would've benefitted from some sort of "swerve" to really make it more memorable instead of attempting to squeeze every bit of drama out of a rather straight-forward, simple concept. The entire 30 minutes is good as both guys were known for their execution and were very over, but this match just didn't get to that next level that would push it into all-time great territory. I'm not even sure it's "must see." (3.5/5)

Main event time - Sting vs. Abyss vs. Christian for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship (TNA was still using the NWA Championships as their own) held by Abyss. There's a helpful pre-match video to explain how this bout came...about and with Angle having defeated Joe, he'll be challenging for the title at the next major pay-per-view. Before the match begins, Tyson Tomko is placed inside of a ringside cage to prevent him from interfering by TNA authority Jim Cornette. Sting comes out next and its wild to think that he was already 48 years old at this point and is still working today in 2023. Some of the hype around this match revolved around Abyss' "secret," but as I didn't watch TNA very much back then (or ever), I have no clue if that "secret" was ever revealed or what it was. A readthrough of his Wikipedia page explains that it eventually centered on Abyss's criminal past (he was sent to prison for shooting his father) and a bizarre relationship with his mother. Anyway...good action to start this as they waste no time and just start brawling right from the jump. Christian and Abyss have solid chemistry and get to show it off as Sting plays dead outside the ring after a bump on the floor. Abyss gets the visual pin after a Black Hole Slam but the referee is distracted by Tomko choking Sting out on the outside through the cage. Christian and Abyss are back in the ring, but Sting comes into the ring out of nowhere and hits the Death Drop on the champ! Abyss is eliminated but Abyss won't leave the ring, grabbing Sting by the throat. He doesn't hit the chokeslam, which upsets James Mitchell. Abyss makes his exit and Christian lands a missile dropkick for 2. Dueling "Let's Go Sting/Let's Go Christian" chants erupt in the Impact Zone. After some good back-and-forth, James Mitchell makes his way back down the aisle. Sting applies the Death Lock, but Mitchell unlocks the cage and Tomko is freed. Tomko slides in the ring and attacks Sting behind the ref's back, dropping him with a Torture Rack Slam (?). Abyss comes back down the aisle to take out Tomko and it is pandemonium! All the craziness allows Christian to grab the title...but Sting dodges and hits Captain Charisma with the Unprettier but only gets 2! Great false finish there. Christian clotheslines the referee inadvertently, this match maybe going one step too far into overbooked territory as Mitchell and Abyss end up back in the ring together. Sting applies the Death Lock to Mitchell and Abyss knocks him out in the back of the head with a chain. Christian hits the frog splash and pulls the referee over to make the count to become the new NWA Heavyweight Champion for what I believe to be his second reign. Fun, exciting match with lots of swerves and good some action, but I think this match would've been better with a little bit more time spent in the beginning doing some actual back-and-forth wrestling and not just rushing into all the false finishes and shenanigans. (3/5)

Earning a Kwang Score of 2.14-out-of-5, Final Resolution 2007 is a mostly bad show that narrowly escapes being firmly in DUDleyville territory thanks to its final two matches, both of which are above-average and feature excellent work out of Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, and Christian, specifically. There's not a single other match or moment on the show that I'd recommend seeing and at least one segment that is among the worst ever produced by any US wrestling promotion ever.

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver

WWE Survivor Series 2013

WWE Survivor Series 2013

Boston, Massachusetts - November 2013

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, the WWE Champion was Randy Orton, the World Heavyweight Champion was John Cena, Big E was the Intercontinental Champion, the United States Champion was Dean Ambrose, The Rhodes Brothers held the World Tag Team Championships, and AJ Lee was the Divas Champion.

After a surprisingly well-received welcome from Stephanie McMahon and Triple H (who were the company's top heels at the time), the show kicks off with a classic 5-on-5 Survivors match pitting The Rhodes Brothers, Rey Mysterio, and The Usos vs. The Shield and The Real Americans. This match featured a nice mix of talent, though The Shield were still relative newcomers and not quite the top-tier workers they would become, especially Reigns. The same is true of Cody and the Usos, but watching this 10 years later, it is remarkable just how much star power was featured here and that the only guy who doesn't work regularly these days is somehow...Jack Swagger? Anyway, Ambrose (Moxley) gets eliminated early which seems like a waste and I'm sure didn't make him too happy backstage. Cody gets lots of time to shine (including getting to cut a short promo on Zeb Colter before the match begins) but the crowd is way more into his brother. Rollins, Reigns, and Cesaro actually get face reactions at times - probably because their offense looks nifty, especially the Cesaro Swing. Eventually, the heels are down 5-on-2, but the booking of this match was clearly done to showcase Reigns - he eliminated 4-out-of-5 members of the opposing team - and he eventually outlasts everyone else, eliminating Rey Mysterio with a beautiful spear to get the final pin. I'm not a huge Survivors-style match fan, but this was good for what it was. Not "must see" or anything, but a solid 20 minutes of action. (3/5)

Next up - Big E defending the Intercontinental Championship against Curtis Axel. I was expecting a bit of a burial here as Big E was in the midst of a decent push and Curtis Axel was sinking down the roster fast now that Paul Heyman was no longer appearing at his side regularly. This match goes 7 minutes, but feels like 12 because the lack of crowd engagement and Big E not busting out some of his riskier, more wild offense like the spear to the floor. This wasn't terrible, but it felt heatless. Curtis Axel was a smooth enough worker, but there was no "It" factor to his persona so it might as well have been anyone in there. This didn't even feel Raw or SmackDown worthy - more like midcard of Superstars. (2/5)

Backstage, AJ Lee runs down her tag partners - which you know will now lead to them either turning on her or turning on eachother in the next contest: a 8-man Elimination match pitting the Total Divas (Brie and Nikki Bella, JoJo, Eva Marie, Natalya, Naomi, and Cameron) against the WWE's non-diva performers (AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Kaitlyn, Summer Rae, and Aksana). This is one of the worst matches ever - not because all the women are incompetent, but because they only get about 10 minutes of time, most of the women are eliminated after a single move has been done to them. It actually comes across as insulting to most of the women, though, when the numbers do whittle down, we do get at least 2-3 minutes of "action." This match was designed to present the women of Total Divas but it was done in such an unimpressive light that I couldn't believe any fan of that reality show would've been "wowed" by this match - if they'd even coughed up the $50 this PPV cost at the time. A half-point awarded because Nattie, AJ, and Brie noticeably gave a shit and there were a few fun moments (Summer Rae prancing around, Alicia Fox being Alicia Fox), but this was disrespectful to the women and the audience and Jerry Lawler made one too many pervy comments about Naomi's "Rear View" move. (0.5/5)

Before the veterans at the panel table could speak, Ryback showed up and issued an open challenge, which was answered by the returning Mark Henry. As someone - Lawler, I believe - noted, Henry had actually defeated Ryback at WrestleMania earlier in the year. I'm not a super Ryback supporter, but I remember thinking that this was a bad booking decision back then and still believe it was a bad booking decision now. And, on this night, they repeat the mistake. Ryback's Bully gimmick wasn't great, but it only would've worked if he had actually been able to score some big victories - and after losing the feud with CM Punk and basically getting dropped by Paul Heyman, taking an L to Mark Henry, a guy who wasn't exactly headed back to the top in 2013, did not do Ryback any favors. Maybe that was the point, though? To "punish" Ryback for his ego? Even if that were true, its a "cutting off your nose to spite your face" situation when you bury a guy that you seemingly have future plans for months and months and then blame him for not getting or staying over. Anyway, the match itself isn't terrible, but its not very interesting and feels like a looooong 4-and-a-half minutes, if that's possible. (1/5)

The World Heavyweight Championship is on the line in the next match as John Cena defends the gold in his hometown against Alberto Del Rio. These two had a decent match at the previous month's Hell in a Cell pay-per-view and, for better or worse, basically repeat it here with Del Rio taking a more commanding role and Cena spending more of the match selling an injured arm. They were given plenty of time - close to 20 minutes - but, at this point, neither guy was at the peak of their popularity as Cena had not yet gone into "super workrate" mode like he would with his US Championship Open Challenge and hadn't spruced up his gimmick at all by this point. Del Rio, meanwhile, was still seen (rather accurately) as a guy who was getting more of a "corporate" push rather than someone who was legitimately over as a heel (or a face, for that matter). The fact is, as we'd see in the main event, the WWE crowds at this point were mostly behind Daniel Bryan and anyone else fighting for World Championships was dealing with a little bit of a pushback, even if their storyline had nothing to do with Daniel Bryan. Nothing worth seeking out, but both guys worked hard and at least Cena's hometown crowd was more supportive of him than any other cities around this time (though there is still a prominent pair of "Cena Sucks" signs being displayed on the hard camera throughout the show). (3/5)

After a pretty fun WWE action figure sketch featuring R-Truth, Fandango, and John Laurenaitis, its time for the next bout - Daniel Bryan and CM Punk teaming up against Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. Unlike the previous match, which felt long, this one went nearly 20 minutes but was really great throughout because of the chemistry between the combatants, the straightforward story, and the immense popularity of both Punk and Bryan. Plus, they kept all the wacky Bray Wyatt stuff to a minimum as the leader of the Family spent most of the match just sitting in a rocking chair on the outside, giving the full spotlight to his henchmen. Punk and Bryan did a ton of selling in this match, but they never "died" and they got huge responses for every comeback (no surprise there). This match was missing something - maybe higher stakes? maybe some sort of big table spot or crowd-brawling? - that kinda keeps it just in "good" territory and not great. (3/5)

Main event time - Randy Orton vs. The Big Show. I'm not going to go through the whole storyline here but, in a nutshell, Big Show had been kayfabe fired and then threatened to sue the company, which led to him getting reinstated and demanding a title shot in order to drop the lawsuit. Meanwhile, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon had been showing some lost confidence in their Corporate Champion, Randy Orton, including a brief pre-match segment with John Cena (that made him sorta look like a heel). The match itself is what one would expect - Orton sells big time for Big Show and Big Show gets a decent face response, but there are a smattering of clear "Daniel Bryan" chants whenever the match slows down. I don't think anyone expected Big Show to win this match and, despite Triple H promising that there would be no interference in any match tonight, he and Stephanie show up after Big Show lands the Knockout Punch, distracting the giant and allowing Orton to hit an RKO and then a punt to win the match. After the match, Cena comes down, holding his own World Championship to set up their Title vs. Title match at the next pay-per-view (if I'm not mistaken). The match was fine was for what it was, but nobody was expecting it to be great and it wasn't. Again, Cena showing up after Triple H and Stephanie essentially screwed Big Show made him look a bit like a heel, even in Boston. (2/5)

With a Kwang Score of 1.79-out-of-5, Survivor Series 2013 is nearly impossible to recommend. The best match is the opener and nothing else really stood out and there's not a single match on the card I'd consider "must see" - even if one was the world's biggest Cena or Orton or Daniel Bryan or CM Punk or Big Show fan. Looking back, I'm guessing that Vince believed bringing back Batista - who would return at the Rumble in January 2014 - would add some juice to the company and win back the crowds, but even that boost of star power would not be enough to overcome the clear and undeniable passion that the audiences had for Daniel Bryan. I don't buy the company line that Bryan was "always" pencilled-in to win the title at WrestleMania XXX as that would mean the company was willfully sacrificing a number of pay-per-views, essentially putting on shows that they knew the audiences would be indifferent or outright negative towards, just to get over Bryan's underdog story. 

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville

WWE Hell in a Cell 2013

WWE Hell in a Cell 2013

Miami, FL - October 2013

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, the WWE Championship was still vacant, while Alberto Del Rio held the World Heavyweight Championship. The Intercontinental Champion was Curtis Axel, the US Champion was Dean Ambrose, and the World Tag Team Champions were Goldust and Cody Rhodes. AJ Lee held the Divas Championship. 

Hell in a Cell kicks off with a helluva tag team match - The Rhodes Brothers vs. The Shield (Reigns and Rollins) vs. The Usos for the Rhodes' WWE Tag Team Championship belts. Cody, Goldust, Roman, and Seth had torn the house down at the previous month's Battleground PPV and adding the Usos, who were still relative newcomers and not revealed to be Roman's cousins on-screen yet, could've diluted the recipe. Fortunately, their addition allowed the two rival teams to put some new twists and turns into the match (as well as some awesome old-school Uso spots). Highlights included Goldust doing expert face-in-peril work, Cody hitting an insane superplex on Rollins onto the rest of the combatants, a ridiculous Uso Samoan Drop, and a wonderful closing sequence that saw Cody get the victory with a Cross Rhodes in convincing, clean fashion. A very strong opener, but a hair short of being "must see." (3.5/5)

After a commercial break, The Miz comes out to cut a promo about Bray Wyatt. Wyatt appears on the screen and then the lights go out and Miz is destroyed by Harper and Rowan. The crowd chants for Kane, who makes his first appearance since he was taken out by the Wyatts at SummerSlam. Perfectly fine segment.

Next up - Fandango and Summer Rae vs. Natalya and The Great Khali. Summer Rae was better than one might've expected, but that doesn't mean this match was particularly good - it just means that she somehow managed to only be the 3rd worst worker in this match. This went under 5 minutes but, at times, felt like it was running long. I'm guessing that has more to do with my general patience for Khali. Not bad, but not at all PPV worthy. (1.5/5)

Dean Ambrose defended his United States Championship against Big E in the next match. The New Day wasn't a thing yet and Big E had only come onto the main event scene sometime in 2012, but was in the midst of a sustained midcard push. This match starts out relatively strong with Big E showing off his power, but then things turn sour and the match slows down substantiall with the crowd audibly losing interest. At one point, Big E's eye gets cut and he's bleeding a ton, but because this was the PG era, its obvious that Ambrose, E, and the commentators need to downplay it - which is a shame because this match could've used that unintended accident to raise the stakes and really get the crowd behind the challenger. Ambrose takes the countout loss, which is a shit ending to a match that had glimmers of goodness. (2/5)

It is now time for the first of two Hell in a Cell matches - CM Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman in a handicap match. Before the bout, Heyman cuts a promo as he gets raised onto the top of the cell by a treepicker. The crowd chants "Goldberg" at Ryback and then "Heyman Sucks" early in support of Punk, but it also seems like, at least to me, there is a palpable feeling that this was a bait-and-switch as Heyman is not involved in the match at all and just watches from the top of the cell. I wasn't expecting Heyman to get involved, but considering that Punk and Ryback don't necessarily have the best chemistry, it would've been good to throw him into the ring in some fashion just to provide distractions and to give the match more heat. And so, we get just another Punk/Ryback match, which isn't terrible but also isn't a pairing that tended to produce remarkable matches. Punk scores the clean win, but it feels pretty anticlimactic as Ryback, while booked strong, was not at Punk's level and not a wrestler that is particularly fun to watch in a 10+ minute match. Punk climbs to the top of the cell at the end and puts a whipping Heyman with a cane and then delivers the GTS. I think the crowd wanted to see a big Cell bump, but there was no way that was going to happen to Paul Heyman. Average at best. (2.5/5)

Los Matadores (aka The Colons under masks) took on The Real Americans (Cesaro and Swagger) in the next match. This felt like something you'd see on an episode of SmackDown around this time, not a pay-per-view match. El Torito was the most over part of Los Matadores' gimmick, but even he had a brief shelf-life. The Real Americans' shtick got decent heat from the crowd, but certainly hasn't aged well 10 years later when what was supposed to be an extremist gimmick seems to be the widely held beliefs of the Republican party. The action was fine as Cesaro is a ridiculously smooth and impressive worker and the Colons could always be counted on to deliver fast-paced offense and fly around the ring, but at a little over 5 minutes, there wasn't much of a story and the lack of involvement from Torito was a bit of a letdown. (2/5)

Next up - John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio for Del Rio's World Heavyweight Championship. The story coming into this match was that Cena had been on the DL (disabled list, not down low) due to a torn triceps that looked like his elbow grew an elbow and was now making his return to face a guy whose finisher was the dreaded armbar (all kidding aside, Del Rio's cross-arm bar did look terrific and painful). Over the previous year, Vince had done everything he could to get Del Rio over and, to some extent, he was over as a major heel, but I'm not sure the connection with the audience ever really solidified. Having him defeat Cena here might've been that extra push he needed, but that's not what we got. These two had pretty good chemistry - not as good as Del Rio and Christian, but not far off - but this wasn't a match I'd go out of my way to see. Del Rio would end up in the upper midcard and then out of the company within the next year, seemingly no longer someone that Vince saw worthy of getting the super-preferred treatment he'd had when he came in. I found the finish to be a bit flat and wish Cena would've sold the arm damage more convincingly as it was a bit on-and-off throughout the match, especially after Del Rio applied the armbar (which should've been sold as absolute death). Above-average, but not that much above it. (3/5)

Main event time - Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan for the still-vacant WWE Championship in a Hell in a Cell Match with Bryan's "mentor" Shawn Michaels as the Special Guest Referee. In the build-up to this match, the WWE really spun the idea that Daniel Bryan was trained by Shawn Michaels when the truth is that while he did attend Michaels' wrestling school, the Heartbreak Kid was not really the day-to-day trainer and, when he did come in, would often be pilled out and half-asleep based on Bryan's memoir. Anyway...Both guys come out with a lot of energy in the early going, but keep things mostly in the ring for awhile, not utilizing the cage at all. After dropping him chest-first onto the top rope a few times, Orton sends Bryan into the cell wall off the apron and then into the steel steps. Orton sets up the steps against the cell and tries to whip Bryan into it, but Bryan reverses it and then bashes Orton head-first into the steps. He goes for a pin, but only gets 2, and then hits a series of Yes Kicks. Daniel Bryan's control stretch that follows is fabulous, just great looking kicks and strikes and repeated dives ultimately ending with Bryan taking one risk too many and going face-first into the cage himself. Orton crotches Bryan into the post and combos it with his patented inverted backbreaker. Back into the ring they go, where Orton sets up Bryan on the corner and delivers a series of headbutts. I'm not sure what Orton was going for, but Bryan manages to turn it into a sunset flip powerbomb! After trading blows, Bryan gains control, hits a flying clothesline and then another round of kicks and a hurricanrana off the top rope. Bryan goes for the Diving Headbutt and hits it for 2. Moments later, Bryan applies the Yes Lock, but Orton slips out of the ring to break the hold. Bryan smashes Orton into the cell wall, rubbing the back of his head against the steel before hitting him with a big dropkick. Bryan finds a chair and uses it to further punish the Viper. Bryan tosses a whole bunch more chairs into the ring as Michaels begs him to stop. Up to this point, all things considered, this has been a fairly dominant performance out of Bryan, with Orton bumping and selling big time for him. Orton catches Bryan as he goes for another chairshot and now its Orton's turn to use some weaponry. Orton's chairshots to Bryan's back look and sound terrifically violent. Orton arranges the chairs in a heap and sets up Bryan on the corner once more, seemingly going for a superplex. Bryan fights him off but Orton pulls out his footing and then brings him crashing down into the ring, though not exactly into the chairs (which sorts of ruins the spot). Triple H makes his way down to the ring and the crowd erupts into "Asshole" chants. Triple H starts barking at Shawn as Orton maintains control in the ring. Orton gets the visual pin, but its clear that Bryan saw that Shawn was distracted and knew he couldn't make the pin anyway. Orton comes out and argues with Shawn too. Back in the ring, Bryan goes for another Yes Lock but can't apply it. Orton hits the Rope-Hung DDT and goes for the RKO, but Bryan shoves him off and into HBK and the two knock heads. Daniel Bryan hits the Bicycle Knee and gets the pin, but there's no one to count it! Triple H is in the cage and he pulls Bryan off of Shawn. Bryan hits the Bicycle Kick to The Game to a huge pop, but Michaels hits him with the Sweet Chin Music! Shawn makes the count as Orton covers him but does not look happy about it. The next night, Michaels would explain that he did this because Bryan attacked Triple H and didn't respect his authority (or something along those lines?), but really, it didn't matter - this match was a massively disappointing one for many fans and a cursory Google Search yields lots and lots of angry posts and bad reviews for the show. Looking back on it years later, I actually liked this finish more than the screwy non-finish at the previous show, but its still not a good one. Orton did everything he could to make Bryan look great and, ignoring the overbooked and feel-bad finish, I thought this match was better and funner to watch than their last outing. Bryan got to dish out a ton of punishment, which is good to see, though I kinda wish the commentators would've talked up a bit more how much he actually controlled this one from beginning to end as Orton spent most of the match taking a beating. (3.5/5)

With a Kwang Score of 2.57-out-of-5, Hell in a Cell 2013 is your run-of-the-mill WWE pay-per-view from this era, in good ways and bad. On the positive side, there are some great pairings and the action is good throughout. The Orton/Bryan match is great, barring the finish. The opener is really fun. Cena and Del Rio have a decent outing and the crumby Khali and Nattie tag is kept short. On the flipside, the conclusion of the main event is a gut punch and its near impossible to recommend a show that ends on such a sour note. Also, because this is a WWE show during a very PG era, both cell matches are tame affairs (though I'll give credit to Orton and Bryan for making up for the lack of hardcore spots by providing us a steady stream of wince-inducing kicks and chairshots to the back). 

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver

WWE Payback 2023

WWE Payback 2023

Pittsburgh, PA - September 2023

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, the Undisputed WWE Universal Champion was Roman Reigns, the World Heavyweight Champion was Seth Rollins, the Intercontinental Champion was GUNTHER, the United States Champion was Rey Mysterio, the Unified Tag Team Champions were Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, the Smackdown Women's Champion was IYO Sky, the RAW Women's Champion was Rhea Ripley, and the Women's Tag Team Champions were Chelsea Green and Piper Niven. 

The show kicked off with Becky Lynch vs. Trish Stratus in a steel cage, a match that was promoted as the final fight to end a months-long feud. Both Lynch and Stratus put their bodies on the line with some big moves throughout the contest, including an absolutely devastating superplex that saw Stratus come crashing down all the way from the top of cage. I also really liked several "throwback" spots - Lynch hitting a double legdrop on Stratus as she bent backwards in her signature Matrix pose, Stratus executing Victoria's Widow's Peak finisher - and the fact that these two really utilized the steel cage itself as the match's major "weapon" instead of busting out kendo sticks and chairs and tables to try to get over the violence. A steel cage is enough and they showed how to work it properly here. Zoey Starks involvement was expected but I didn't necessarily "get" the post-match with Stratus as it seems like the audience was more than ready to cheer for Trish and send her off with a "Thank You Trish" chant while Zoey Starks seems like a more natural heel to me moving forward. I wouldn't go as far as Michael Cole went with calling this a Match of the Year contender (even in just the WWE) as there have been some really stellar contests this calendar year, but it might be up there if we're looking at just the Women's Division? A good, above-average match and the best match these two have had against each other, but nothing I'd necessarily consider "must see." (3.5/5)

John Cena came out as the host of Payback and announced he would be serving as the Special Guest Referee for The Miz vs. LA Knight. The Miz came out and tried to stop it and the two had a decent war-of-words before LA Knight made his way down to the ring. This match felt a little long to me and, while I don't think LA Knight is a bad worker or anything, I'm not sure this match played to his in-ring strengths. Also, with John Cena so heavily involved in the pre-match segment and the match itself, it felt like Knight got a bit outshined at times, like Cena had been thrown out there as a crutch because the match itself - which, again, felt at least 3-4 minutes too long - was unlikely to keep the crowd engaged for its duration. The Miz looked great out there and I loved how he milked the opening moments. I thought the finishing stretch was really strong too, even if the middle tended to drag at times. (2.5/5)

Next up - Rey Mysterio Jr. defending his United States Championship against Austin Theory. Austin Theory is one of my least favorite characters in the WWE right now, a guy that has incredible athletic gifts but has yet to really find his footing as a nasty, mean-spirited heel and often comes off as quite generic. Mysterio, meanwhile, continues to impress and execute in the ring, but I'm not a huge fan of the Latino World Order revival, a stable that feels a bit purposeless to me. Like, I get it, they're all Latino, but...is there something more here? Maybe its happening on the weekly TV (that I admittedly don't watch) but I'm still wondering who Escobar and Joaquin Wilde and Cruz Del Toro really are. Anyway, this wasn't a bad match at all, but it felt like filler and I don't think anyone in the arena believed Theory had much of a shot of winning this. (2.5/5)

A Pittsburgh Steel City Street Fight followed as Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn defended the titles against Finn Balor and Damien Priest of the Judgment Day stable. As this was a streetfight, this was chaos from the jump, all four men brawling outside the ring to start things off and wasting very little time busting out the weapons, specifically chairs and kendo sticks. I really liked Finn Balor's heel shtick with the iconic "terrible towel" as it got huge heat from the Steeler fans in attendance (of which there were many). I also dug Kevin Owens rocking a Terry Funk tank and performing a nice tribute spot by putting a trash can over Balor and nailing him with a bunch of kendo stick shots. As someone who hasn't been watching the weekly TV, I had no idea that KO and Zayn's feud had gotten "personal" enough to necessitate a match like this, but then again, who really cares when its a match as fun as this? The attention to detail is what sets a match like this apart from so many matches that are like this. Balor's heel work looked terrific, every swing Damien Priest took with a can or chair looked like it could maim, the "fun-loving" Sami Zayn was nowhere to be found, Kevin Owens sporting jeans and taped fists, the fact that Dom Mysterio didn't show up until too early or too late - and then the ridiculousness of Zayn and Owens transforming into Pittsburgh Penguins (with Owens sporting a crimson mask that I'm not sure was real?) to get one more huge pop out of the crowd, it was all not just well thought-out, but well-executed. When the big spots began to come out - a Blue Thunder Bomb on a bed of chairs, Priest hitting Zayn with an awesome suplex toss onto a bunch of opened chairs, Zayn's somersault senton off the Pre-Show Panel table, Owens launching himself off of the stands to hit a swanton on Dominik through a table (a spot that I'm not sure how Owens walked away from) - this match went from being very good to maybe the wildest match the WWE has seen in a few years. The closing minutes of this match were unreal and featured a well-timed false finish involving JD McDonough, followed by Owens hitting McDonough with a pop-up shove (I wouldn't call it a powerbomb) into the edge of the announce desk that looked like a career killer, and then the arrival of Rhea Ripley, who speared KO through the barricade. Zayn somehow survived a Coup De Gras attempt, connected with a Helluva Kick, but ultimately, a briefcase shot from Dom ended up leading to a victory for the baddies. They don't make wrestling matches much funner than that. My only reason for not going a "full 5" for this is based primarily on it veering a touch too far into "fan service" spotfest realm, which was undoubtedly crowd-pleasing but also a touch too cartoonish for my liking and the kind of thing that I'm not sure will "hold up" the same way a perfect top 1% match does as a timeless masterpiece. (4.5/5)

A Grayson Waller Effect segment followed, with Cody Rhodes appearing as Waller's guest. Cody Rhodes got in some good lines about how generic and predictable these sorts of segments are before shocking the audience by announcing that "Main Event" Jey Uso was back and now a RAW Superstar. I guess if you're heavily invested in the WWE's current storylines, this might've been something of a surprise, but as Waller himself noted, Uso has really only been "gone from the WWE" for around 2 weeks and nobody even believed he was gone from the company when he "quit" 2 weeks ago. As a segment, it was fine, and I prefer variety on my shows so I liked this more than I probably would've liked some filler match. No point awarded or subtracted.

Rhea Ripley defended the Women's World Championship (formerly the SmackDown Women's Championship, but then changed from that because Ripley was part of the RAW brand) against Raquel Rodriguez (or Gonzalez, as Corey Graves referred to her at one point) in the next match. Rodriguez has been mostly used as a tag wrestler since coming up to the main roster from NXT, but I thought she had some really shining moments in the Rumble back in January. Rodriguez didn't look perfect here - there was some noticeable telegraphing of moves and the layout itself featured a couple of transitions that read as "my turn/your turn" to me, but by the end of it, the physicality helped make this match feel like an absolute war even if the finish was never really in doubt. I didn't particularly like the ending as Ripley has been so good that I'm not sure why she'd need Dominik Mysterio's interference to beat someone like Gonzalez at this stage in her career. This match went a touch long to me, but it was still solid overall and no worse than average. (2.5/5)

Backstage, John Cena spoke with the new WWE Unified Tag Team Champions before we got down to our main event - Shinsuke Nakamura challenging Seth Rollins for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. I hate that they refer to Rollins as the "inaugural" World Heavyweight Champion when the company has had so many World titles - including one known as the World Heavyweight Championship (without the WWE in front) - over the years and there is nothing new or special about this one except that it was created out of whole cloth because Roman Reigns can't be toppled. Anyway...Nak was the underdog coming into this match, but there was at least a little speculation that he may capture the title or that the night would end with Damien Priest cashing in the MITB Briefcase and leaving with the gold instead. For the first time in awhile, Nakamura felt like a real main event-level star coming into this show and much of that credit might have to go to the video production department, who did a good job building this up with various hype videos over the past few weeks. Some good chain wrestling to start things off, with Rollins working on Nak's arm. I really liked Nak's taunting in the early going too - rubbing Seth's lower back freakishly before nailing his lower spine with a stiff kick. Rollins fought back, though, regaining control quickly to hit a suicide dive on the outside. Seth went for a pedigree but got back body dropped, which allowed Nakamura to target the lower back even more with strikes. Nak missed a knee strike in the corner and Rollins caught him with a beautiful senton and then another suicide dive to the barricade. I'm so glad that Rollins has seemingly dumped the "multiple dives in a row" spot, which I always found to be wholly lacking in psychology. Rollins went up to the top of the barricade and went for a splash, but Nak tossed him off and into the table instead, Rollins' lower back hitting a monitor real hard. I'm not sure the spot was planned that way, but it looked and sounded brutal. Back in the ring, Nakamura hit the running knee he had gone for earlier (good psychology there) before applying a camel clutch to further attack the champion's lower back. Rollins tried to fire back but got caught with a cool back-breaker-clothesline-type thing and then some "vintage" Nakamura knees. After some pin attempts, Nakamura applying a single-leg crab, but Rollins fought his way out as a portion of the crowd broke out into song to show their support. Up to the top rope they went and it seemed like Rollins was going to hit the superplex-into-a-Falcon-Arrow combo, but hit a top rope hurricanrana instead. After trading blows, Rollins hit a sling blade and then a giant frog splash for 2. Moments later, Rollins hit a great ripcord clothesline - another move I'm not sure I've seen him bust out too many times - for 2. At this point, things got a little sour as Rollins laid the melodrama on super thick, yelling at Nakamura for "making it personal" and "worrying his wife." Rollins missed a Curb Stomp and got locked in a sleeper, but elbowed his way out. Nak then nailed him with a flying knee to the jaw that looked razor sharp. Nak hit a simple-but-effective scoop slam and then a simple-but-effective suplex, continuing to work on Rollins' lower back with the most basic of slams. Nak got a little bit fancier with a snappy German Suplex while Rollins was hung on the 2nd rope, but only got 2 for it. Nak then called for his finisher, the Kinchasa, but Rollins stopped him in his tracks with a huge superkick. Rollins tried to knock Nakamura out, but Rollins applied an armbar and then a triangle choke, but Rollins wouldn't tap out or pass out - eventually powering his way out by lifting Nakamura up and dropping him with a sit-down bomb for 2. A good strike exchange followed, but it almost seemed like the crowd under-reacted to it just because, by this point, I assume most fans believed they were working towards the finish rather than "padding" the match with another minute or two of counters and forearms and enziguiris. Back to the corner they went, where Rollins got caught and then brought back down to the mat with a messy looking something-or-other before nailing him with a Kinchasa that didn't quite get captured by the commentary team. Nakamura looked to be setting up for an additional one, but got pulled back into brawling with Rollins. Nak went for a suplex on the apron, but Rollins countered and eventually got the Pedigree, but couldn't make the cover! Rollins went for a Curb Stomp but Nak caught him and we got another set of nifty counters before Rollins hit his finish for a respectable 3 count. This might be one of the best matches that I've seen from either guy. I liked that Rollins kept the overly flashy stuff to a minimum and that Nakamura controlled the tempo for most of the match, not letting things ever get too fast or too plodding. (4/5)

Overall, Payback 2023 over-delivered in many ways - the main event was arguably the best match that Rollins and Nakamura have had in several years, the Ripley/Rodriguez match was better than I expected considering Rodriguez' relative inexperience as a singles worker on the main roster, and the Unified Tag Team match was an absolute Match of the Year contender for the company. I didn't necessarily love the LA Knight/Miz match, but the live crowd sure did and that's usually what matters most in presenting a live TV show. With a Kwang Score of 3.25-out-of-5, this one sits firmly in the final rating zone of...

FINAL RATING - Watch It

ECW Hardcore Heaven 97'

ECW Hardcore Heaven 97'

Ft. Lauderdale, FL - August 1997

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the ECW World Champion was Sabu, the ECW Television Champion was Tazz, and the ECW Tag Team Champions were The Gangstas (Mustafa and New Jack). 

On paper, looking at this card, Hardcore Heaven 97' should've been a slam dunk for ECW. It featured many of the company's biggest stars and was wrestled in front of a hot Florida crowd of wrestling enthusiasts. The company had a working agreement with the WWE which meant there was even more "star power" on hand than usual. However, things didn't quite work out that way...

After an intro spiel from Joey Styles, Rick Rude shows up to introduce "the next ECW Television Champion" Chris Candido, who is challenging Taz. Rude gets sent to the back by ECW President Tod Gordon, who threatens to disqualify Candido if Rude stays at ringside. This was done to prevent Rude from having to get involved (he wasn't physically cleared to do much of anything at this point, though there was rumors that he was working to get cleared a few years later), but really seems antithetical to the "anything goes" non-rulebook of ECW. Anyway, Taz looks like a badass and allows Candido to slap him in the face and clothesline him just to show how tough he is. The problem with that is - while Taz does eventually go on offense, minutes later, he's right back into selling mode. Its just weird to start a match working like a no-selling Road Warrior circa 1987 and then, within a few minutes, actually selling the damage and working a somewhat lengthy back-and-forth technical wrestling match. Candido having his initial offense treated no sold didn't do him any favors, nor did it make Taz look like a badass because, ultimately, it did take Taz real effort and time to retain the title. There are audible "Boring" chants sprinkled between the pops for Taz's offense, but this was just not the right match to start the show. I think these two could have had a much better match if Taz had just worked this as if Candido was a real challenge from the very beginning and Joey Styles, on commentary, leaned into the idea that, when he was with "that other company," Candido was distracted by backstage politics and having to use a corny gimmick but that here in ECW, he was free to show that he was a world class wrestler. Underwhelming. (2/5)

Before the next match, a clip is shown of the Insane Clown Posse getting attacked by Sabu and Rob Van Dam from earlier in the show. I'm curious as to why they didn't just include this whole segment as part of the show itself because it definitely would've added some variety to the evening.

Next up - Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Spike Dudley. Dudley had upset Bigelow a few weeks prior on ECW TV so you knew that Bigelow was looking to murder him here. This is essentially a squash match, but because Bigelow is so awesome at working the crowd and Spike Dudley takes amazing bumps, its also one of the more entertaining stretches of wrestling on the show. This isn't "must watch," but its a fun 5-minutes and the crowd is wild for it. Above-average segment, though I'm not sure this is "The Best Squash Match Ever" as I saw one reviewer refer to it. (3/5)

Another clip is shown from earlier in the night, when The Sandman tried to save ICP and ended up getting taken out by RVD and Sabu. We're told that the Sandman was then taken to the hospital.

Rob Van Dam was working his "Mr. Monday Night" gimmick at this point, boasting about how he was the most in-demand wrestler in ECW and that it was only a matter of time before the WWE or WCW would sign him. RVD's opponent on this night is Al Snow, who is decked out in his Leif Cassidy/New Rockers gear. Styles puts Snow over big on commentary and the crowd is relatively respectful, though they're definitely more in the corner of Van Dam (and because Snow was representing the WWE, it makes for a bit of a heel/heel dynamic). The action is good, but isn't connected by a good enough narrative thread and the big spots don't feel connected to one another. There are some sloppy bits and miscommunications that, while not egregious, definitely make it seem like these two weren't on the same page about how this match should've gone. Snow seems to want to work a more standard, typical, back-and-forth match, but RVD was still a guy who seemed to want to go out and do nothing but crazy dives, spin kicks, and chair shots to keep the crowd engaged. By the time we get to the Van Terminator, it seems like the audience is exhausted and just wants things to end (basically booing that a very close nearfall wasn't actually a three count at one point). Another underwhelming match. (2/5)

After more talk about The Sandman (we now learn that he has commandeered the ambulance and is trying to drive it back to the arena to exact revenge on Sabu and RVD), we go to the ring for The Dudley Boys vs. PG-13. Before the match, Joel Gertner, accompanied to porn star Jenna Jameson, does one of his usual X-rated promos and explains that, with The Gangstas unable to make it to tonight's show (I believe the issue was that Mustafa had left ECW by this point and I'm not sure what the deal with New Jack was), PG-13 will be filling in. From a wrestling standpoint, they were much better hands than The Gangstas ever were and Jamie "JC Ice" Dundee get a nice pop for their pre-match promo to pull the crowd in. Unfortunately, The Dudleys just weren't a great team yet and PG-13 were also best in small doses as this match, after a good start and a crowd-pleasing moment that saw J.C Ice plant a kiss onto Jameson - this one gets dull and overly silly (at one point, PG-13 trick D-Von into applying an armbar onto his partner that is just too silly for me). There's also some bad camerawork as we miss Big Dick Dudley's double chokeslam (though I doubt it was executed very well anyway). The crowd is so much more focused on Jameson than anything that happens in the ring and, dare I say, this match could've benefitted from a table spot or two. The Dudleys eventually win with the 3-D. Not terrible, but not good. (2/5)

Jerry Lawler makes his way down the aisle and cuts a promo before his match with Tommy Dreamer. I'm sure the longtime super fans of Lawler enjoyed this as a "throwback" to his old Memphis brawls, but this was not entertaining to me as it was just a long, sloppy brawl that, while bloody, didn't actually feel "dangeous" or "wild." It was also overbooked beyond belief with multiple "lights go out and then turn back on to reveal _____" (in this case, there were three separate incidents featuring Rick Rude, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, and finally, Sunny). The Roberts interference made the least amount of sense because he attacked both guys - which could've been a cool way to debut him had his interference led to the finish, but it didn't (which made him look like a joke despite getting a massive pop from the crowd). This went 20 minutes, which was longer than it had any right to be. The crowd seemed to enjoy it, though, so I'm not going to say it was a total misfire, it just wasn't the type of match I enjoy. (1.5/5)

Main event time - a three-way dance between ECW Champion Sabu, former ECW Champion Terry Funk, and former ECW Champion Shane Douglas. I'm not sure if the fans in attendance were made are of the on-going Sandman saga (the future Hak was shown arriving at the arena before the match began), but it was easy to predict that he would end up attacking Sabu and costing him the match. As was often the case in these sorts of matches, the fact that it is fought under elimination rules is completely ignored despite the logic being that the two heels should've been eager to cooperate to eliminate the babyface and then compete among themselves. The threeway part of this match was not as engaging to me as the final minutes - when the match became a one-on-one battle between Funk and Douglas. Without Sabu around, Funk and Douglas get to do some actual wrestling and, though Funk is clearly not as quick as he was 10 years prior, Douglas wasn't necessarily a lightning quick worker himself. There's some nice twists with Dory Funk showing up to neutralize Francine and then some very well-executed nearfalls off a Funk roll-up and a bunch of Belly-to-Belly suplexes. The actual finish, coming off yet another Belly-to-Belly, falls a little flat because I believe the audience expected something a bit "bigger," but I can understand wanting this to end with some realism. After the match, Douglas whips Funk with the gold belt to get extra heat, which comes in the form of "bullshit" chants. Joel Gertner comes into the ring with the Dudleys, who proceed to boot the boots to Funk. Gertner asks Douglas to drop the Triple Threat and form a "Triple Crown" with the Dudleys, which brings out Bigelow and Candido and then the whole lockerroom shows up to break the sides up and join the brawl themselves! The Rottens end up battling with the Dudleys in the ring, chairs in hand, which leads to the arrival/return of The Eliminators and New Jack! The phony crowd noise and the overdubbing of New Jack's WWE-produced entrance theme ruin the post-match angle, but credit where its due, all the craziness does allow the show to end on a much happier note than it would've had it ended with Funk's loss. (3/5)

With an overall Kwang Score of 2.25-out-of-5, Hardcore Heaven 97' is one of the better ECW pay-per-views thanks to an above-average main event and a really fun Bigelow/Dudley match and everything else - except Dreamer/Lawler - being at least in the realm of average. Plus, at this point, ECW's roster was about as "star-studded" as it would ever be, with Rob Van Dam, Tommy Dreamer, Tazz, Sabu, Terry Funk, the Dudleys, Al Snow, and Shane Douglas all around. As I noted in the opening paragraph, it's a shame that all these elements don't really gel the way they should due to a handful of bad ideas - whether its starting the match with an awkward and poorly layed-out Tazz/Candido match, giving PG-13 and The Dudleys 10 minutes of time when 6-7 would've been more than enough, or the overbooking of the extra lengthy Dreamer/Lawler match. On paper, this show sounds much better than it turned out being.

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver