WWE WrestleMania VIII

WWE WrestleMania VIII

Indianapolis, IN - April 1992

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, Ric Flair was the WWE World Champion, the Intercontinental Champion was Roddy Piper, and the World Tag Team Champions were Money Inc. (Ted Dibiase and Irwin R. Schyster). 

WrestleMania VIII, like the 1992 Royal Rumble, is a show I've probably seen a dozen times before (though probably not a single time in the past 25 years). After Reba McEntire sings "America The Beautiful," we get our opening contest - Shawn Michaels vs. Tito Santana. Michaels had semi-recently turned heel and now had Sherri Martel as his manager. I love her version of his entrance music. Santana was wrestling under the El Matador gimmick. Not the hottest opener they could've chosen and I wish Michaels got a more definitive win here as Santana wasn't going anywhere and Michaels was being touted as "The Wrestler of the 90s." There are some moments when you can see how good Michaels was going to be as a heel as he takes some spectacular bumps and sells really well. Santana delivers some good offense after a slow start. This wasn't bad, but it could've been better. (2/5)

Next up - a terrific promo from the Legion of Doom and the debuting "Precious" Paul Ellering. When I was a kid, I really didn't know all that much about the LOD's pre-WWE run aside from them being on the cover of the old NWA/WCW Nintendo game. I certainly didn't know about Paul Ellering. I like how Bobby Heenan, without really mentioning the competition (which was verboten in WWE at the time), makes a huge deal about Ellering showing up. A great segment. (+1)

Speaking of great segments, we get a word from Jake "The Snake" Roberts and then a recap of his attack on The Undertaker in a Funeral Parlor segment on Superstars some weeks earlier before their match. I forgot that Roberts DDT'd Paul Bearer. I'm not sure when Jake Roberts went from being dependable in the ring, able to carry a match with his charisma and ring psychology, to being a bit of a bore. The Undertaker was far from the most dynamic worker at this point in his career as he was still doing a very minimalist "wrestling zombie" character and hadn't rounded out his arsenal with the Old School or the crazy plancha or any of the MMA-inspired strikes and submissions. Still, while this isn't a very good match in terms of action, the crowd is enthralled by it and Roberts does put Undertaker big time by letting him sit up from two DDTs. Taker eventually wins with a Tombstone on the outside, though I wish he would've been allowed to peel back the mat and do it on the concrete as that would've been a much cooler visual (I'm guessing if that idea was pitched by Jake, Vince would've rejected it for being too violent anyway). Another not-so-great match as Roberts was not nearly as spry as he once was and Taker moved like his legs were stuck in molasses. (2/5)

After a classic interview backstage, Roddy Piper defends his first and only singles championship in the WWE against Bret Hart. I've seen this get called Piper's best-ever singles match and I'm hard-pressed to think of a better one that I've seen, especially in terms of straight-up singes matches (and not stipulation bouts). Bret Hart had one of my favorite matches ever against Mr. Perfect at SummerSlam 91' roughy 7-8 months before this, but watching this (and having watched SummerSlam 91' semi-recently), this might actually be the better match just because of the incredible, emotional story being played out and Bret getting a whole bunch of color. Piper was never a great in-ring technician so its fun to see him actually try to outwrestle Bret eary before the match just becomes a back-and-forth slugfest. You could expect Piper to wrestle a little "dirty," but its important to note that its actually the Hitman who I felt worked a little heel first by playing possum and feigning an injury. If Jake Roberts coudn't necessarily use his charisma and superstar persona to get the prior match to work, this is an example of how one could do it as Piper puts in a wonderful performance that tells a beautiful story about integrity, self-respect, and, in the end, passing the torch to the next generation. Also, that finish. It has been copied and redone countless times over the years, but it has never been more excellently-executed. To me, this is a masterpiece that gets better with every viewing because there are so many minor details that make it special. (5/5)

Another cool moment follows as Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon conduct a satellite interview with the WBF's latest talent acquisition - Lex Luger. I don't recall and am not going to research what exactly happened with Luger and why he was brought in for the WBF originally rather than to wrestle, but I do know that he was injured at one point and may have had a no-compete clause after leaving WCW. Regardless, he's definitely a heel in this interview, really vainglorious and already working his Narcissist gimmick a good 8-9 months before he'd have his in-ring debut in January 93'. 

Back to the ring we go for an 8-man "breather" match pitting the babyface crew of Virgil, The Big Bossman, Jim Duggan, and Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Nasty Boys, Repo Man, and The Mountie. This wasn't much of a match, but there was some fun moments - specifically a nutshot by The Bossman when The Repo Man is working his back and The Bossman turns over and Repo drops himself right into his fist. Ray Combs (of Family Feud fame) also has a funny appearance running down the heels in his pre-match introduction. Fun for what it was and it didn't eat up too much time. Perfectly acceptable. (2/5)

The next 30-40 minutes are excellent sports-entertainment as we get a pre-match promo from Ric Flair hyping his WWE Championship defense against Randy Savage. The build for this match was terrific and built not just around Flair being the WWE World Champion, but also his claims of having dated Miss Elizabeth before she got with Macho. Speaking of Macho Man, he is super, super over with the live crowd, which is unsurprising as his face turn and feud with Jake Roberts in 91' made for much better television and a more riveting story than anything Hulk Hogan did that year. This isn't as nuanced a story as Piper/Hart, but this feels like a big, personal title fight in its own right and Savage puts on a great babyface performance, letting Flair control the first third, having his big fiery comeback for the next third, and then letting Elizabeth and Mr. Perfect do their thing for the final stretch. This is not on the level of the more athletic-based Flair/Steamboat matches or as wild as the Flair/Funk match from a few years prior, but Flair does get some "color" and does bust out all his classic spots at one point or another. I've seen people pick apart Hebner's referee work (as well as the involvement of various "suits") as Perfect gets away with murder while Elizabeth is seemingly being kept out of the fray despite also being Savage's manager (and thus being allowed at ringside). I think that's nit-picky and ignores the story of this match and the unspoken idea that its not the WWE officials who are keeping Elizabeth in the back, it's Savage who doesn't want her anywhere near the nefarious heels, justifiably concerned that she could end up in harms' way (which is exactly what happens during the post-match). Perfect wasn't allowed to take any bumps due to an injury and a Lloyds of London insurance deal he'd made, but I think they hide it well. Shane McMahon makes a cameo. If you include the post-match promos cut by both men, it all makes for an incredible presentation. This isn't either guy's best match, maybe not even in either guy's top 5 or 10, but it is an iconic match for a reason and the feud itself is a career highlight for everyone involved, including Heenan and Perfect. (4.5/5)

After a video package airs hyping the other half of tonight's co-main event, it is time for another "breather" match as Tatanka takes on "The Model" Rick Martel. Before the match, there was a group of Native Americans performing in the ring. I'm not a big Tatanka fan, but Martel could still "go" at this time and they have a decent match here. Heenan makes some tasteless jokes on commentary, but what else would one expect? This doesn't eat up too much time, but I would've figured they'd have given Tatanka a more definitive victory considering he was the young rising star and Martel wasn't really up to all that much. Martel would actually go on to a cool feud over Sensational Sherri with Shawn Michaels that summer and then have another feud with Tatanka (built around Martel stealing feathers from Tatanka's head dress), lasting in the company for another 2 years. Anyway, another acceptable bit of wrestling here, though not as good as the 8-man just because Tatanka isn't a very good worker. (1.5/5)

After some words from both teams, it is time for the WWE Tag Team Championship match as Money Inc. defend the straps against The Natural Disasters. I don't recall the exact change of events that led to Jimmy Hart leaving the Disasters and joining up with DiBiase and IRS, but that's the backstory. Anytime Tenta and DiBiase are in the ring, things are good, while things are less good when Typhoon and IRS are. DiBiase does an expert job selling how powerful 'Quake is, but the audience doesn't really seem super invested in this match. I also don't know why they didn't have the Legion of Doom come out and stop Money Inc. from walking out on the match (accepting a countout loss to keep the titles), which seems like something that would've been totally in-character for LOD and for the WWE at the time (when all babyfaces were unified against all the heels despite any previous rivalry). The Disasters didn't need to regain the titles here - its clear that Hawk and Animal were the far more over babyface team - but this finish was not good and they didn't get their hands on Jimmy Hart, which would've at least been a moral victory. This was better than I expected because I'm not a fan of Rotunda at all and everyone - including Typhoon (who takes a great spill to the outside over the ropes) - worked hard, even if the ending was flat, but this was still sub-par. (1.5/5)

After some hype for the main event, Owen Hart defeats Skinner in under 3 minutes. Steve Keirn was a good worker and the Skinner gimmick wasn't all that terrible (and, considering Keirn's connection to Florida, make some sense), but they get no time to show what they can do and the audience was already fairly cooled off after the previous contest. Owen would go on to form a forgettable team with Koko B. Ware and the Skinner character was a Saturday morning undercard guy until he left. Meaningless match that doesn't even allow Owen to showcase his aerial skills. A half-point for not being boring, I guess? (0.5/5)

Main event time - Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice. This is a paint-by-numbers Hulk Hogan main event in nearly every way, except that Vince and Hulk threw every trick they could into it to make it feel like a big deal. First, in the build-up, they teased that this would be Hogan's retirement match (it wasn't and was never going to be). Second, they had Sid pulverize countless opponents in the weeks before this match. To their credit, Sid did come in with a ton of legitimacy and looked about as intimidating and powerful as he ever had. Finally, they designed a match that would see Sid showcase his power and his potential as "the next Hulk Hogan." Overall, I thought Sid did a solid job as a cartoonishly evil foil for the Hulkster, the facial expressions he busted out looking equally as over-the-top as those of Hogan. The wrestling itself is bad, though, as Hogan doesn't bust out much more than a clothesline and big right hands while Sid can't get him up for the chokeslam. The powerbomb looks great, but Hogan kicking out and going right into the "Hulk Up" routine was very old hat by this point. Sid's mid-match promo should've come after the powerbomb, which would've allowed Hogan to kick out and then do his usual shtick without burying Sid's finish. Speaking of finishes, whether this was mistimed, poorly executed, or some sort of political compromise, it is an all-time bad one. We get a DQ for no apparent reason when Harvey Wippelman get's on the apron, a referee call that hadn't been made in countless matches earlier in the night with much lower stakes and much more involvement from managers/valets, and then Papa Shango making his way down the aisle for some unknown reason (it's not like Shango was feuding with Hogan or teaming with Sid at this time). The return of the Ultimate Warrior is a cool moment, but that's about the only thing that's good about the last few minutes of the match. When it's all over, Sid seems like a much lesser foe than he did coming into the match and Hogan has had none of the character development that they seemed to be leading towards with the build-up. The Warrior coming back and Hogan endorsing him was cool...but had already been done two years prior. The enthusiasm of the crowd for the whole ordeal carries this from being bad to decent. (2.5/5)

With a Kwang Score of 2.5-out-of-5, WrestleMania VIII may seem like just an average show and though I'll readily admit there's a nostalgia factor at play here, this still might be one of my favorite WrestleManias ever. Piper/Hart and Savage/Flair are among the best matches of the decade and would still probably rank among the top 50 matches the WWE ever produced. Sid/Hogan isn't a good match, but the Warrior's return is a good moment. Sprinkled throughout the show are good promos - from the Road Warriors, from Lex Luger, from Sid and Savage and Flair and Bret and even Ray Combs - and even the bad matches are kept relatively short. A fun albeit imperfect show and worth checking out most of.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

TNA Hard Justice 2007

TNA Hard Justice 2007

Orlando, FL - August 2007

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the TNA World Heavyweight Champion was Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe was the X-Division Champion, and both guys were the TNA World Tag Team Champions.

I wasn't able to find Victory Road 2007 on YouTube, so I'm skipping that one and heading right to the next TNA pay-per-view event: this one...

Hard Justice begins with an X-Division-based tag team match as The Motor City Machine Guns take on former X-Division Champion Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt with the team of Triple X (Christopher Daniels and Senshi) rounding out the triangle match. Two months earlier, Daniels was feuding with Sting and now he was right back to being just another guy in the X-Division. As I've written about before, both TNA's bookers/producers and Daniels himself have reason to own the failure of the gimmick he was working here. As the commentators note, this is a super fast-paced match...but that doesn't make it good. They get plenty of time and the final few minutes do pick things up quite a bit from a match that felt a little meh, but this was unmemorable for the most part despite all three teams busting out seemingly every move in their arsenal. (2.5/5)

After some backstage stuff, its time for Raven vs. Kaz. This match gets a little over a third of the time that the previous match received but I daresay it was better and more interesting. Raven wasn't in the prime of his career here, but he still knew how to build a match - especially a match like the one here that was wild from the beginning and involved two his flunkies taking a bunch of the big bumps (in this case, "Havok" and "Martyr," aka Matt "Michael Shane" Bentley and Johnny Devine. Kaz's wrestling is solid here, though he would become even better as the years progressed, including when he donned the Suicide mask a year or so later. I also find it a little funny that Kaz, who wrestled briefly for the WWE when they were seemingly contemplating revamping their cruiserweight division, would actually be considered only a somewhat smaller-than-average heavyweight now as he stands 6'1 and weighs 210 lbs according to Wikipedia (for sake of comparison, that puts him basically at the same stats as Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston and not too far off from Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins). Anyway, this entertained me because Raven builds his matches around stories and not just high spots and wildly-intricate sequences. (3/5)

The storyline leading up to the next match is...not good. James Storm was a beer-drinking redneck, a gimmick well-established by this point. His opponent, Rhyno, revealed in an interview with Mike Tenay that he was a recovering alcoholic, which is why when Storm doused him with beer, the Man Beast "snapped." I'm not a fan of alcoholism-related content in my wrestling not because it touches a nerve or is something I think should be considered "off limits" - though, in probably should be - but because I can't recall a single time in wrestling history when it has been treated respectfully, creatively, or well. And so Storm and Rhino have a "barroom brawl" that is just your classic ECW-style brawl, only with more "booze" and beer being slung than in a Sandman match. At one point, Rhino takes a sip of beer and the commentators essentially turn on him - claiming that this single beer is enough to turn him into an unfocused, sloppy mess. Its heavy-handed and, while I'm no doctor or scientist and I'm sure it is medically possible for a serious, chronic alcoholic to be inebriated after one drink due to serious kidney or liver issues, Rhyno was never portrayed as such. This would've been much more fun if they had just made it a straight-up Number One's Contender match or something along those lines instead of trying to make it "personal." At over 10 minutes, it also runs just a tad too long for such a thin concept. (1.5/5)

Homicide saves the day in the next match as his team with "Super Mex" Hernandez (aka the Latin American Exchange) take on The Voodoo Kin Mafia (aka the New Age Outlaws). The crowd chants "DX Rejects" at the very start, which had to hurt Billy...err, Kip James, and BG James (formerly known as the Road Dogg). They then break into a "187" chant in support of Homicide, who is definitely the strongest worker of the bunch. The VKM are backed up by Roxxi Laveaux, a valet I don't remember at all. The match goes under 6 minutes and the heels get a cheap, dirty win to prolong this feud. It's not terrible because it doesn't go long enough to be terrible and it is clear that the VKM knew the crowd was fully behind their opposition and didn't do too much annoying shtick, really letting the babyfaces shine for the majority of the sub-6 minute contest. (1.5/5)

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young is next in a match billed as Ultimate Humiliation (the loser will be tarred-and-feathered). These two had been feuding for months by this point, but their in-ring work together was routinely good and Eric Young had gotten over with the TNA faithful as an underdog babyface. Roode, meanwhile, was coming into his own as a cocky heel who was deliberate and methodical in the ring. This bout isn't quite as good as their Slammiversary bout - which was more emotional as it had less silly stakes - but the in-ring action might've been a touch better as it was also a more condensed match and the finish wasn't as predictable. Despite losing, Young does not end up tarred-and-feathered because Gail Kim prevents it. This leads to Bobby Roode accidentally hitting Traci Brooks with a big right hand, an act of male-on-female violence that gets glossed over a little and not treated as all that big of a deal in order to get to the much-less-controversial act of Young pouring a little bit of "tar" (chocolate syrup?) on her and then a handful of feathers. (2.5/5)

The next match was more of a "mauling" than a match as Black Reign (Dustin Rhodes' latest alter-ego) bloodied and beat down Chris Harris in under 5 minutes. As far as introducing a new character, this was alright and one could never argue they didn't make Rhodes look as strong as possible in his new persona. The problem is that Rhodes, at this point in his career, was not in the best ring shape, was still wearing gear heavily-indebted to his Goldust persona, and this wasn't enough of a reinvention (or at least one that was interesting enough). I'm a big fan of Dustin, but won't defend some of his lesser ideas and this was one of them, a character that was meant to be spooky but wasn't, a concept that was supposed to be original but felt like something we'd seen before and better (arguably by Dustin himself in the WWE). This is more of an "angle" than a match, but I commend Harris for doing everything he needed to do to try to get this over. It doesn't help that Sonjay Dutt, who runs out at the end to protect Harris, is smiling the whole time like an idiot. I hope he got chewed out backstage for that. (1.5/5)

A bit of a tag team dream match followed as The Steiner Brothers took on Team 3-D. This match was supposed to happen months earlier, but Scott Steiner suffered an injury that caused this bout to be cancelled. At the previous pay-per-view, which was unavailable on YouTube, The Steiners cost Team 3-D a chance at winning both the TNA World Championship and the X-Division Championship. I was not expecting much out of this match as Bubba Ray was not in great shape (I liked that he took a crack at the Steiners being "out of shape" in his pre-match promo) and their matches against LAX from earlier in the year weren't all that great, plus Scott Steiner had also only been so-so (his match with Kurt Angle earlier in the year was especially disappointing) and was coming off an injury. However, I was pleasantly surprised by how much this worked despite my misgivings. I was not a fan of the way Team 3-D were heeling it up earlier, backing off and acting cowardly, but that's heel shtick for you and its wrestling 101 (I would've preferred they had given this match a bit more gravitas and done something more akin to the acclaimed Steiners vs. Luger & Sting match from roughly 15 years earlier, a battle between two teams that refused to back down). The crowd ate it up, though, and the Steiners were clearly the favored team with the live crowd so it made total sense for Team 3-D to play the shitheels. I liked that when Team 3-D gained the advantage, they went right to attacking Scott Steiner's scarred rib cage. Smart heeling there. Speaking of Scott Steiner, his Frankensteiner from the corner on D-Von looked terrific and earned the "That Was Awesome!" chant that followed. Plus, the match only went 11 minutes, not overstaying its welcome in the slightest. This wasn't the epic battle that these teams could've pulled off 10 years earlier, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I believe many fans would've expected out of two teams that were several years past their prime. (3/5)

Mike Tenay is in the ring for our next segment - the TNA debut of Adam "Pacman" Jones. Jones was a young, controversial NFL player who was suspended in his 2nd year in the league for various off-court incidents - fights, disorderly conduct, public intox, a shooting case in Las Vegas over NBA All Star Weekend. While suspended from the NFL, Jones got signed by TNA but...was not allowed to have any physical contact or wrestle due to a decree by the Tennessee Titans. Thank god, he was a good promo. Oh. Wait. He wasn't. He wasn't a good promo at all. Well, at least he looked intimidating. Say what? He was only 5'10? And weighed under 200 pounds? And had no real "It" factor aside from his rap sheet? Ron Killings comes out and gets cheered because the Tennessee fans loathed Jones for all the bad publicity he brought to the Titans. I'll give credit to TNA as they make it clear that Jones is not allowed to be touched as they could've tried to do a bait-and-switch thing with him. Oh, that would happen later? Great. This is easily one of TNA's biggest fumbles.

The next match is one of those classic overwrought TNA stipulation matches as its time for the first-ever Doomsday Chamber of Blood match, a.k.a a six-man First Blood cage match that must end in a pinfall between Christian's Coalition (Christian, AJ Styles, and Tomko) and the babyface trio of Sting, Abyss, and Andrew "The Punisher" Martin, who had made his TNA debut a few weeks prior (and was as 'roided out as he'd ever be). It is unreal seeing the former Test here and learning he was only in his early 30s because he looked like a grizzled, freakish monster. I was also surprised to learn that this was his first and only match in TNA as I would've thought he'd have stuck around at least a few months longer. I hate to speak ill of the dead - especially someone like Test who has one of my favorite "under-the-radar"/hidden gems against Lesnar from a King of the Ring tournament a few years before this - but Martin does not come across as a very big deal here. To be fair, nothing really stands out about this match overall. AJ takes some good bumps, as expected. Tomko and Abyss have some good exchanges that make it clear that the match they had two months prior was not a fluke and that they actually do have great chemistry. Christian's heel work is terrific. Sting gets to play the hero at certain points, but, as crazy as it is to say in 2024 when he's actually one half of the AEW World Tag Team Champions (and deserves to be), his role is pretty minimal and he's kept out of the fray for minutes on end. This isn't a bad match, really, but it isn't very good and the stipulation actively works against it. A six-man cage match shouldn't also need a literal guarantee that multiple guys are going to bleed. These guys could've worked the exact same match without the First Blood-then-a-pinfall stipulation and it would feel much less like they were checking boxes and working through an overly-scripted performance. Sloppy due to bad production, bad camera work, and a dumb format. Oh, and, at one point, they cut to the back to show that Pacman Jones has been attacked and needs to be stretchered out of the arena. (1.5/5)

Main event time - Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle in a Winner Takes All The Gold match for every single title in TNA (Angle's TNA World Championship and IWGP Championship and Joe's X-Division Championship and TNA World Tag Team Titles). This match is a mixed bag. The storyline coming into this was that Angle, now thoroughly a heel, was going through a rough patch with his wife, Karen Angle (who had shown up with her new boyfriend). Throughout the evening, Angle had been going nuts over Karen showing up with a new man and there was one particular scene with "Dr." Kevin Nash that popped me. He comes out to this match looking extra glum, nearly teary-eyed, and I must say, Angle's acting was surprisingly good. Joe, meanwhile, comes out with a grand entrance, backed up by a foursome of Samoan slap dancers. All the work in the ring between Angle and Joe is terrific, but there is an equal amount of emphasis - on commentary, via camera work, whenever Angle goes to the outside - on Karen Angle and her boyfriend drinking champagne and smooching at ringside. I can understand the opinion that Angle and Joe needed to spice things up for this match after having multiple contests against each other over the previous year. But isn't that why this one was for every single title? Was that not enough of a draw? Joe and Angle do enough, especially in the closing minutes, to make this better than average and easily the best match on the show and I will admit, having not followed TNA at the time and not remembering where this storyline went, I was fooled by the finish (until it actually was executed and Karen's poor acting and timing made it clear that the swerve was coming)...but it is still considerably lesser than any of the other matches they've had together that I've seen. (3/5)

Tallying up the Kwang Score, I was a bit surprised at how not bad this show scored (a not-so-terrible 2.22-out-of-5). This show was widely panned when it happened as many fans were the opposite of receptive to Adam "Pacman" Jones joining the company (and not even being able to be involved in any physical action), the Russo-rific booking of the main event (and Samoa Joe being made to look foolish), the continued awfulness of the Voodoo Kin Mafia, and the shrug-inducing "reveal" of the Black Reign character. Still, there are some good moments on this show. TNA's best workers and performers - Angle and Joe, Christian and AJ, Homicide, the X-Division stars in the opening contest - all shine when they're on-screen. The Steiners/Team 3-D match isn't as bad as it could be. Raven and Kaz put together a good, exciting, and interesting match that stands out. This show is not the complete debacle that some have painted it as.

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver

WWE Royal Rumble 1992

WWE Royal Rumble 1992

Albany, NY - January 1992

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the WWE World Championship was vacant, the Intercontinental Champion was The Mountie, and the WWE World Tag Team Championships were held by The Legion of Doom. 

After the disappointing 2024 Royal Rumble, I knew I need a bit of a palate cleanser so I opted to treat myself to a show that I probably watched at least a dozen times as a kid (if not more)...

The 1992 Royal Rumble kicks off with one of my favorite old school traditions: Vince McMahon rattling off the names of all the main event's participants. Hearing Vince run down the roster after learning how much of a sex criminal he is doesn't hit the same as it used to, but I'm not going to go back and revise all my previous entries about the rundown or Vince in general. The truth is, we always knew he was a scumbag and I could always disconnect his awfulness with my enjoyment of him as a performer. Its just way harder to do that now. 

And speaking of "Vince McMahon Was Always A Scumbag," our opening contest is between The Orient Express and The New Foundation, Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart. This was the second incarnation of The Orient Express as original member Akio Sato had left the WWE and was replaced by "Kato" (aka Paul Diamond in a mask). At the previous year's event, the Rockers and the original Orient Express had one of the more beloved "hot openers" in WWE history, a match I rated a strong 3.5-out-of-5 not too long ago. This match isn't as good, though its clearly an attempt to recapture the magic with Owen Hart playing the face-in-peril for a lengthy strength and the Express constantly cutting down the babyfaces and slowing things down. At close to 20 minutes, this match ran too long for me, though, and as good as his technical wrestling is, Owen was a colorless babyface at this point and not particularly over with the crowd (certainly not as over as the Rockers were a year prior). (2.5/5)

Prior to this show, Bret Hart had dropped his Intercontinental Championship to The Mountie on a house show (the story was that Hart was suffering from the flu) and now The Mountie has to defend the title against Roddy Piper, who was making WWE history by challenging for both major singles titles on the same night. Piper's pre-match promo insinuates that the Mountie is a homosexual, something I didn't catch when I saw this when I was 7 years old. I love Bobby Heenan on commentary, arguing that the Mountie shouldn't have to defend the title so soon after winning it. Anyway...Piper was never a particularly great in-ring worker, but his charisma and energy carried him very far and, against certain opponents and in certain contexts, his brawling could be top-notch (especially when he was allowed to engage in matches of the more violent variety in the NWA). This isn't much of a match, which is disappointing because I've come to rate the Fabulous Rougeaus highly and really think Jacques Rougeau fell off considerably by doing less flashy moves and being just your typical boring heel as The Mountie. Piper gets his big moment, winning with his sleeper hold, and the crowd loves it, but it does feel a bit "out of nowhere" and sudden. This match doesn't overstay its welcome and Piper brings enough energy to make things work, plus, as noted earlier, Heenan and Monsoon's commentary work on this whole show is incredibly strong. (2.5/5)

It's time for another tag team match as The Bushwhackers (with their nerd sidekick Jameson) take on The Heavenly Bodies (with their manager, "The Genius" Lanny Poffo). The early minutes of this match are pretty bad and draw a "boring" chant. For a match that goes nearly FIFTEEN minutes, there is a real dearth of actual wrestling. On Cagematch, this match has an average rating of less than 1, which is abysmal. I wouldn't go that far...but this is a bad aside from the few moments when the Bodies are in control and acting delivering wrestling holds. Jameson is unfunny and a really dated gimmick that seems to be based off of Eddie Deezen, whose own cult comedy movie career had died at least a year or two before this. Take Jameson away, cut off 7 minutes of this match, give the Bodies a more decisive victory and this would've been tolerable because the interaction between the cocky Bodies and the silly 'Whackers isn't all that bad. (1/5)

The WWE Tag Team Championships are on the line as The Legion of Doom defend the straps against The Natural Disasters. Credit to the Road Warriors here for selling for their opponents and building up the idea that, against the Disasters, they may have met their match because they can't rely on power moves. Unfortunately, in order to stretch this match out, we get some lengthy rest hold segments. The LOD were so over with the live crowds that the audience doesn't really turn on the match, but that doesn't mean its a match worth watching. It's an improvement from the previous match but the finish is a disappointment as the match spills outside and the Disasters get a countout win. I forget where the story went from here, but if I'm not mistaken, these teams would clash again at SummerSlam 92' maybe? (2/5)

From here, we get the classic pre-Rumble promo package, with "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Ric Flair, Jake Roberts, the Undertaker, Sid, and Hulk Hogan all getting a little bit of promo time. Fantastic. (+1)

Main event time - the 1992 Royal Rumble Match, the first of only two times the WWE Championship has been on the line in the legendary 30-man over-the-top battle royale (the title would be on the line again in 2016). The British Bulldog enters at number one, followed by Ted Dibiase. This is a hot start to the match and somewhat of a farewell to Ted DiBiase as a major heel in the WWE, at least as a singles performer. Within a couple years, DiBiase would work tags as Money Inc. (with Irwin R. Shyster) and then become a manager/commentator in both the WWE and, later, WCW. The Bulldog, meanwhile, was coming off a big battle royale victory in his home country so he had some storyline momentum. DiBiase gets clotheslined out of the match within 2 minutes and, on his way out, brushes by the man who drew number 3....Ric Flair. This was a huge shocker at the time as nobody had ever won the Rumble having entered from the first five positions. Flair drawing such an early number allows Bobby Heenan to proceed to spend the next 40+ minutes just going wild on commentary. One has to tip their hat to Pat Patterson and sex criminal Vince McMahon for the booking of this match. By having Flair enter so early, you get to see him mix it up with not only a bunch of young WWE stars he'd never worked with before - the aforementioned Bulldog and Shawn Michaels - but also a slew of guys that he had history with dating back to the 80s (though none of it is referenced on-camera) like Kerry Von Erich, Greg Valentine, Jimmy Snuka, and in one of the coolest twists, a brief segment where he is up against only Roddy Piper after the ring is cleared. Speaking of which, the man who comes in after Piper and Flair have their moment is Jake "The Snake" Roberts and I really liked how, for a few minutes, the match turned into a bit of a proto-triple threat. Speaking of Roberts, a master of ring psychology, there are some moments when logic goes out the window as there are far too many instances of heels helping heels and faces saving faces in a match where every man is for himself...but its not super gratuitous and the amount of entrants and eliminations happening ebb-and-flow in a way that the match stays interesting even when guys who had little chance of winning, like the Repo Man or Nikolai Volkoff, showed up. Once The Undertaker arrives, the match definitely transitions into focusing a bit more on the "heavy hitters" and we get some good storyline/feud-pushing moments between Randy Savage, Jake Roberts, and the Deadman. I wish they had made a bigger deal out of Piper and Hogan having some back-and-forth, but, at this point, the WWE really didn't acknowledge their own history, especially when it went against the narrative that Roddy Piper was now a "good guy" and that all the good guys were friends. There's a cool moment when The Undertaker, Flair, and Piper are all choking each other that I forgot about. Hogan and Sid come in to big ovations. People talk about Hogan getting booed at the end of this match, but I think that's been overstated a bit as he is definitely over with the crowd. Speaking of the finish, its a legendary one as Sid dumps Hogan over the top in a shocking twist and then Hogan tries to pull him out because he's a sore loser. I'd be curious to know who came up with this ending and if they were aware at how much of a sore loser it made Hogan out to be. As Hogan is pulling on Sid's arm, Flair pushes him over and we have our winner with Ric Flair managing to last over an hour in the ring. To me, this match still holds up and, despite seeing it so many times over the years, I always catch something new and interesting either in the ring or on commentary (this is widely regarded as Bobby Heenan's career-peak performance at the desk). A masterpiece. (5/5)

Though its Kwang Score of 2.8-out-of-5 may not seem like an all-time great score, Royal Rumble 92' is a beloved classic for a reason. There's a great atmosphere in the Knickerbocker Arena for this show and Heenan and Monsoon have career nights at the desk. If this show doesn't feature the best Royal Rumble match ever, it is at least in the top 2-3 (though I couldn't, personally, name a better one). Unfortunately, it's the undercard that underdelivers. The opening contest runs a bit long and doesn't have the energy of the Rockers/Orient Express tags that had opened the previous few shows, Piper/Mountie is fine-but-forgettable, and the Heavenly Bodies/Bushwhackers match is outright bad. Save yourself some time and skip the inconsequential first half of this show.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

TNA Sacrifice 2007

TNA Sacrifice 2007

Orlando, FL - May 2007

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the TNA World Heavyweight Champion was Christian Cage, the World Tag Team Champions were Team 3D, and the X-Division Champion was Chris Sabin. 

And so my journey through TNA/Impact continues with Sacrifice 2007. Before the show begins, Tenay and West reveal that multiple title matches on tonight's show will be triple threat matches. Classic TNA there to make something that should be unique into something that feels less so. The X-Division Championship is on the line in the opening contest as Chris Sabin defends the gold against "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt. Sabin was coming off a lengthy feud with Jerry Lynn that I didn't enjoy too much while Lethal and Dutt had been mostly doing comedy sketches with Kevin Nash at this point. All three performers are very good at the technical aspects of wrestling - their timing is great, their execution is great, the amount of innovative offense and three-man spots they can bust out is remarkable - but not a single one has an interesting or well-defined character, which really hurts this match and kept me from really caring about who would win. Dutt might actually be the best of the three despite being the least flashy or over-the-top with his gimmick. As I've written about Sabin previously, the guy is a bit too hammy at times for me, his facial expressions more than a touch corny. I don't like the one-dimensional Black Machismo gimmick at all despite Lethal's undeniable efforts. And so I found myself rooting for Dutt, the most "serious" of the workers involved but also the guy who wrestled the match most clearly focused on winning the titles, refusing to form a true alliance with Lethal after an initial 2-on-1 onslaught against the champion. There were some great nearfalls towards the end that I must admit to biting on, making the actual finish - a roll-up by Sabin with a handful of tights - feel extra cheap and unearned. I guess that's the point and it does make Sabin feel even less deserving of the title, but it was still a disappointing end after a flurry of really good sequences in the closing minutes. Better than average due to the athleticism and the razor sharp three-man sequences, but lacking in terms of character and drama. After the match, Dutt and Machismo argued and then came to blows, which led to Kevin Nash separating them. Dutt kicked Nash in the back of the leg before bailing. (3/5)

Backstage, Robert Roode and Traci Brooks are with JB. JB asks him about Eric Young, who Roode still "owns," but Roode wants to talk about his opponent tonight instead: Jeff Jarrett. This had to be Roode's biggest singles match up to this point, though it would be at least a few years before he really got a major push as a World Championship-level main eventer.

At ringside, Nash challenges Sonjay Dutt for the next episode of Impact before Tenay and West run down the rest of the show's card. 

We then cut to a video of BG and Kip James - the Voodoo Kin Mafia - getting beaten down by Damaja and Basham, a team that only the most astute OVW fans would ever know. 

Another video follows, chronicling the long-running feud between Jeff Jarrett and Sting. I really liked how this video package went all the way back into 2006 and the earliest days of TNA to tell the full story of Jeff Jarrett's face turn.

Jeff Jarrett's big comeback match is against Bobby Roode. This is a bit of a "meta" angle, which was less common in 2007 than it is these days. Jarrett had the reputation of running TNA as a "vanity" promotion designed to get himself over and while he did dominate the main event scene for years, there weren't a ton of other main event-level workers he could rely on. It's also true that this booking strategy wasn't novel. Countless territorial promotions had done this sort of thing for decades, including the USWA and various NWA territories and, maybe most famously, the WWE during the Monday Night War when Vince McMahon became the top heel in the company and the rest of the family were among its most featured on-screen personalities. But while the practice of booking yourself as the top act wasn't invented by Double J, it did lead to a considerable amount of fan backlash - especially online - which made Jarrett's face turn something to be leery about. Coming into this match, Roode wasn't exactly putting on high-caliber matches and the feud with Eric Young was lower midcard fodder at best. Young got good reactions. Roode's valet, Traci Brooks, got good reactions. But Jeff Jarrett was 100% expected to get the W here. Anyway...the match is okay for what it is and Jarrett does go out of his way to make Roode look like a tough competitor. Gone are Jarrett's heel mannerisms, though, which hurts things a bit because there really aren't any "moments" to build the match around. Without the strut and the pratfalls and the begging off, Jeff Jarrett is a run-of-the-mill babyface worker and not one that the crowd was particularly enamored with. At one point, the crowd is chanting for Eric Young, which just shouldn't happen in a main event guy's first match back in several months. Somehow, the Observer gave this match over 3 stars, which is too generous for what was a good-not-great TV-level match. Maybe Dave was just happy that (spoiler alert) Robert Roode actually got the W? We get a paint-by-numbers post-match run-in from David Young that pops the crowd too. Nothing special despite this clearly being designed to get Roode over. (2.5/5)

Next up - Christopher Daniels vs. Rhyno. This was a tricky one for the booking team, I'm sure. On one hand, Christopher Daniels' new heel gimmick, built around a bizarre fixation on Sting, required him to be booked strongly. On the other hand, Rhyno was a former NWA World Champion and was coming off a major feud with AJ Styles and also deserved consideration. Unfortunately, as I noted in Daniels' match against Jerry Lynn at Lockdown, its clear to me that TNA Creative - and maybe Daniels as well - wanted to have their cake and eat it too. Daniels is a very capable worker and is known for his agility and innovative offense, but this new character needed to show, in the words of Vince McMahon, ruthless aggression more than technical wizardry. Daniels does come off as more violent at times and more likely to cheat, but he never dominates the match the way a new potential top heel should. Rhyno is fine here...but he's Rhyno. In certain scenarios, the Rhyno character absolutely works as an unrelenting monster, fearless and quick to anger, but not exactly a strategist. He was the wrong character to be up against this version of Christopher Daniels and the match just sorta "happens." After using a baseball to get the victory, which Rhyno essentially no-sells after eating a pinfall, Rhyno gets the last word by chasing Daniels to the back (so that he can apply fake blood?) and then bashing him with a chair back in the Impact Zone. This wasn't bad, but it certainly didn't present Daniels as the kind of threat that is on a collision course with Sting and it adds nothing new to the Rhyno character that we didn't get in the AJ feud. (2/5)

Next up - The Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Damaja and Basham. This is a continuation of the absolutely dreadful VKM/Christy Hemme feud. Damaja and Basham were known as "The Bashams" in WWE for their brief spell there but saw their greatest success in Ohio Valley Wrestling where both guys were OVW Heavyweight Champions and treated like major stars (Doug Basham especially). A video is shown of Basham and Damaja attacking the Mafia before the show and sending BG James to the hospital, which makes this one a handicap match. Yuck. I'm not sure what the booking process here was - did the Outlaws refuse to put Damaja and Basham over clean? Did they think the bait-and-switch would lead to fans being more eager to see an actual match between the two? Was the idea to protect the VKM because their salaries were likely among the higher ones in the company? - but the result made for an awful match/segment. Damaja and Basham get the W, but its meaningless as they had the 2-on-1 advantage. Lance Hoyt shows up in the post-match to make the save and, again, I'm wondering why they didn't just have him turn heel here (as I expect will eventually career)? The best thing about this is that it only goes 5 minutes or so. (0.5/5)

At the previous pay-per-view, James Storm and "Wildcat" Chris Harris had a horrendous Blindfold Match that led to audible chants of "Fire Russo." With that fiasco behind them, they had a big opportunity here to put on a much better fight under Texas Deathmatch rules. Storm and Harris were former tag team partners so the heat was there and, while I personally am not a huge fan of either guy (Storm is the better worker in every way, but he's still not a guy I find to be especially thrilling), the TNA crowd was into this story. This match got a super-positive rating in the Observer at a time when TNA and WWE just weren't getting the star ratings that they get today. Highlights include an awesome crossbody from Harris to Storm on the floor within the first couple of minutes, James Storm bleeding a gusher after getting catapulted into the bottom of a table, and a good finish with Harris drilling a very bloody Storm with a beer bottle to the skull. This match was really good, but it didn't quite reach "great" level for me. Part of the issue is the stipulation itself. Seeing a wrestler get a pinfall victory is always going to seem like a finish and then having to wait to see if a wrestler will get up by a 10-count means that the momentum of the match will be halted at times. I'd have much preferred if they had just made this a straight-up No DQ match. Still, clearly the best match of the night up to this point. (3.5/5)

An X-Division Fourway follows as Jerry Lynn takes on Alex Shelley takes on Senshi takes on Tiger Mask IV (Yoshihiro Yamazaki). A brief history on the Tiger Mask gimmick: Inspired by a manga character and brought to life in the ring by Satoru Sayama in the early 80s, the Tiger Mask gimmick has been a staple of Japanese wrestling for 40 years now, though the wrestler on the mask has a changed over the years. The original Tiger Mask is probably the most well-known in the US, mostly because his matches with Dynamite Kid have been cited by countless wrestlers as among the most influential ever wrestled. Wrestling die-hards, though, would argue that the best incarnation was Tiger Mask II, played by GOAT-level star Mitsuharu Misawa. This version of Tiger Mask (the fourth) has actually donned the mask for the longest of any version, beginning his run in the mid-90s and still performing under the hood to this day. Anyway...this match was designed to be a palate cleanser and it was an effective one. I'm not sure why Jerry Lynn was given the victory as Senshi continued to sink down the card and feel more and more like an afterthought after an initial strong push as a serious competitor and potential X-Division Champion. During the post-match, Bob Backlund shows up and goes after the Motor City Machine Guns. Again, this is the sort of hokey nonsense that TNA relied a bit too much on. Kevin Nash working with Shelley was fun. Kevin Nash working with the rest of the X-Division guys was too much. Similarly, Bob Backlund's involvement with Senshi and Austin Aries did not help either guy and I don't see how it would benefit the Guns, who were excellent workers and had a great natural chemistry. Solid match. (2.5/5)

The TNA Tag Team Champions, Team 3D, defended their titles in a three-way tag match against the former champions, LAX, and the unlikely duo of Scott Steiner and Tyson Tomko. I wasn't expecting much here so I wasn't disappointed with what we did get. Some good throws by Steiner in here and Homicide brought his usual energy. Today, some of this would qualify as "Big Meaty Men Slapping Meat." When Team 3D called for the tables, the crowd turned a bit on them, chanting "Same Ol' Shit." So I wasn't the only person completely bored by Team 3D by this point? Tomko and Steiner's in-fighting eventually costs them the match. In the post-match, Rick Steiner shows up and beats down Tomko. The crowd goes wild for this, very happy to see the Steiners reunited. All in all, not terrible, but nothing I'd recommend or want to rewatch. (2/5)

Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles is next. These two had a reputation for putting on show-stealing matches, which makes this one just a touch disappointing. This is like one of those "lesser" Sting/Flair matches in that you knew they could've taken this to a higher degree, but were more focused on selling a story - AJ working heel and trying to use trickery to defeat Joe, Joe getting increasingly frustrated before figuring out a way to outsmart AJ - than putting an all-time classic. They were given less than 15 minutes too, a fraction of the amount of the time they could've used to put on a true showcase of their talents. As other reviewers have noted, AJ and Joe don't get heavy-handed with the finishers or signature spots in this match, another thing setting it apart from their more legendary encounters. When they could've just "thrown bombs" for 10 minutes before getting to the finish, they actually build and pace this match as if they are going to go toe-to-toe in an endurance-based physical chess match before Joe realizes that he is going to have to sink to AJ's level in order to get the victory. (3/5)

Main event time - Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle vs. Sting for Christian's TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Definitely on the short side, this 10-minute match was still very heated and the crowd was into it from the beginning. This might be what some fans call a "sprint" as there is no down time and everybody involved is going for killshots from the opening minute. The turning point of the match happens when Angle flies into the ring post, essentially taking him out of the match for a couple minutes...which, in a 10-minute match, accounts for about 20% of the action. Sting seems to have Christian reeling before Angle grabs holds of him and slams him on the floor. We get a cool Tower of Doom spot a couple minutes later, the crowd erupting into a "This Is Awesome" chant. Again, this match was fought basically in fast-forward, but that's not necessarily a bad thing because the crowd was into it. We get a Double Stinger Splash at one point and Angle applying the Ankle Lock to both of his opponents, which was neat (even if the logic was a bit murky). The finish is screwy as Cage is rolled up and getting pinned by Sting while Angle hand the Ankle Lock applied. One ref counts Cage's shoulders down, which should give the W and the Championship to Sting, while the other ref sees Sting tap out at the same time (which would give Angle the win). Angle is announced as the champion to end the show. For what this was, it was a fun match, but not a "great" match. (3.5/5)

With a Kwang Score of 2.5-out-of-5, a slight improvement from Lockdown's 2.3ish score, Sacrifice 2007 features some really strong matches (the main event, Joe/AJ, Harris and Storm redeeming themselves after their woeful Blindfold match), but suffers from a dreadful Voodoo Kin Mafia match and some matches that don't live up to what they could be/should be (Jarrett/Roode, the Tag Titles match) or are just uninteresting (Daniels/Rhyno). 

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

TNA Lockdown 2007

TNA Lockdown 2007

St. Louis, MO - April 2007

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, Christian Cage was the TNA World Champion, the World Tag Team Champions were the LAX (Homicide and Hernandez), and Chris Sabin was the X-Division Champion.

Lockdown 2007 begins with a video about how man can be locked in both physical and mental prisons. Its the kind of super serious pre-show hype that I love in my wrestling, even knowing that - based on the past couple of TNA pay-per-views I've seen - there's almost no way that this will be a great show (I'm hoping for at least "good"). 

Our first contest is an X-Division Xscape Match for Chris Sabin's X-Division Championship. I wasn't expecting much out of this match only because I wasn't a big fan of Sabin's series with Jerry Lynn and I'm generally not a huge supporter of overly-gimmicky/comedy wrestlers like Shark Boy and Black Machismo (Jay Lethal doing a Macho Man impression), who are two-of-the-four challengers for the title in this match along with Sonjay Dutt and Alex Shelley. But the wrestling is great from beginning to end and I love the way that Shelley and Sabin work together, signaling their eventual TNA debut as the Motor City Machine Guns over the next few weeks/months (they were already a team internationally). Their work made this closer to an action-packed tag match rather than a battle for the prize of the X-Division Championship and while I would totally understand the criticism that this de-valued the title - as everyone should've been gunning for everyone else in the match, not forming alliances - its not like we haven't seen this sort of thing in the past. The difference here is that the alliances didn't disappear at the slightest sign of conflict or just because someone momentarily saw their "partner" in a vulnerable position. In that sense, could this match have veered so far into illogical territory that it actually became more logical by the end? That's for others to decide. I enjoyed this, though the cage itself was a bit of a non-factor and the ending was super abrupt and anti-climactic. (3/5)

Robert Roode took on Petey Williams in the next cage match - remember, every match on this card is being fought in the Six Sides of Steel. Poor Petey botches a springboard move early, but even if he had nailed it, I'm not sure this match would've really clicked with me. Williams and Roode bust out some good, intricate sequences, but it was the simple stuff that wowed me - an uranage from Roode and, later, an awesome spinebuster, Williams getting huge height on a pop-up towards the cage - rather than more intricate pinfall counters and the involvement of Eric Young and Traci Brooks on the outside. To be fair, the crowd was into this and seemingly into the storyline even though it all reads as very "mid 90s" to me, like something you'd expect to see involving the York Foundation or the BodyDonnas stables. Just not my thing, but the effort was there and the action was good enough. (2.5/5)

A match billed as a "Catfight In A Cage" followed as Gail Kim took on Jacqueline. This feud was an off-shoot of the Chris Harris/James Storm rivalry (that Petey Williams was also involved in) and has been going on for months. I loved Gail Kim's energy at the start, going after Jackie before she even gets in the ring. Honestly, the first few minutes of this match are fought brilliantly and exactly how a personal, bitter "blood feud" match should be fought as Kim looks to seriously hurt her opponent and Jacqueline has to resort to heel tactics and keeping her distance to gain the upper hand. Unfortunately, things peter out a bit once they get into the cage and the psychology that Kim established early on gets muddied (it struck me as not very courageous or heroic for Kim to try to win the match by exiting the cage so early). Gail Kim eventually wins with a huge crossbody splash off the top of the cage, which gets a great reaction (and deservedly so). The psychology was a bit inconsistent as Kim would, occasionally, look to win the match by exiting through the cage door, but then also was fighting like she wanted to punish Jackie as much as possible. Regardless, the good outweighed the bad. Jackie was known for her toughness but not necessarily her wrestling prowess, but Gail Kim brought the goods. I'm not sure I'd call this a "carry job," but Gail Kim got a ton of mileage out of Jackie's somewhat limited athleticism and basic skills because the effort and energy was there. (2.5/5)

In yet another rematch from a previous show, Senshi took on Austin Starr in a match that saw Bob Backlund serving as Special Guest Referee. I've written about it before, but this storyline did no favors to Senshi, who was originally a super-serious X-Division killer but saw much of his credibility get trampled by having to share the screen with the ever-cartoonish Bob Backlund and Austin Starr (Austin Aries), who seems like he was still figuring out what exactly he wanted to do with his character. The action was good - at one point, I even think I heard a faint "This is Awesome" chant - because both Senshi and Starr are very talented performers who have some excellent offensive maneuvers they can dish out, but this didn't wow me overall as a presentation and the finish felt a bit bullshitty as Backlund got involved again. After the match, Starr shouted into the camera about Backlund screwing him. Again, it's no wonder why Senshi left for the WWE not too long after this as even in a storyline with a 58-year old who hadn't been relevant in over a decade and a guy that was still only then figuring out his gimmick, Senshi was the third wheel and couldn't get a clean W. (2/5)

Things go from not-so-bad to way-way-worse as Chris Harris wrestles James Storm in a Blindfold Match. This is an absolutely awful match that had the crowd booing from nearly beginning to end. I'm not sure what they were really thinking here. I understand that Blindfold matches are something of a "throwback" gimmick, but why not do something fun here? This match should've been all about both Harris and Storm trying to cheat their way through things. It also should've been maybe 6 minutes max. Instead, they go close to 10 and while they do incorporate Storm trying to cheat repeatedly - which could've been interesting - they don't do enough with that concept to make it as fun as it could and should be. A match like this relies on a crowd that is really excited about the concept and workers that are really, really good at telling a story in the ring. Even true legends like Rick Martel and Jake Roberts couldn't quite cut it, so there was little hope for Harris and Storm. The crowd chanted "This is Boring," "We Want Wrestling," and booed every kickout and by the time they actually did start to incorporate some bigger moves, it was way too late. I'll give them a half-point because they did at least try to tell a story and build towards Storm cheating his way to victory, but this took too long to get to that finish and just went too long overall. (0.5/5)

After more backstage stuff involving tonight's main event - mostly whether or not Team Angle can trust Jeff Jarrett - its time for Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels. Daniels had recently turned heel and had changed up his gimmick a bit to be a darker figure. With these two, you knew the execution would be good, but would the character and drama be there? Like other matches on the card, it makes no sense that this is being fought in a cage because the feud hadn't warranted the need yet. With Daniels being a known commodity, I wasn't expecting him to come out and just dominate this match, but I was curious if we'd seen a different, more brutal side of him. To his credit, Daniels did try to show a more vicious side - shoving Lynn into the cage wall, doing eye rakes and straight-up fists to the face, using a cable cord to choke out his opponent - but its all a bit ho-hum and I would've liked to see him bust out the kind of legitimately nasty offense that we got from Danielson in his WWE run or what you might see Jon Moxley bust out in AEW (repeated elbows to the jaw, stomps to the face, bending and "breaking" fingers, fish-hooking a guy's cheek, rubbing your forearm in their nose on every pinfall, etc.). Lynn makes for a fine opponent - his offense is always crisp and energetic and his timing is never bad - but I kinda wish this match favored Daniels even more and the story revolved more around Daniels always being one-step-ahead of a wrestler like Lynn, known for his deep arsenal and endurance. It's 70/30 when it might've been more effective as a relaunch of Daniels' character if it was 80/20. Daniels missed a BME, which led to both guys ending up on the top rope. Daniels connected with an awesome face-drop type move (I'm not sure what to call it) but only got 2 from it. Lynn hit a big move of his own - kinda like a side Death Valley Driver - but only got 2 from that. The crowd was really into the action and chanted "This Is Awesome." Daniels went for the Angels Wings from the top rope, but Lynn blocked it and went for his Cradle Piledriver from the top only for that to get denied too. Back on the mat, Daniels hit the Last Rites to end what was a very good match, but not a great reintroduction. An extra half-point for the last few minutes, which featured some incredible offense out of both guys. (3/5)

Backstage, the NWA World Tag Team Champions, Team 3D, cut a promo about their title defense against LAX. As Bubba noted on commentary, this feud has been going on for 4 months. Before the match, both sides get to cut promos - Team 3D's being vaguely racist and LAX's being dominated by Konnan. In this match, the cage is "electrified," which is "Vintage Russo" in the words of Michael Cole, a stipulation that could in no way be delivered well by TNA but thrown out there anyway. The lights are dimmed for this match to give it an even eerier (and cornier) vibe. The St. Louis crowd is into this from the start, fully behind Team 3D and popping big for their early powerhouse offense. Tenay notes on commentary that there are up to 10,000 volts surging through the cage at various times - 5 times as much as the electric chair. A chain gets brought into the fight by the heels because why would an electrified cage match not also need other foreign objects? Despite being the smallest guy in the ring by at least 100 pounds - if not close to 200 - Homicide is the most captivating worker of the four, taking the biggest bumps but also looking the fiercest throughout. D-Von gets busted open but the dimmed lighting makes it somewhat unclear just how busted open he is. Konnan and Hector Guerrero get inolved on the outside, with Guerrero leaving the Spanish Announce Table and opening up the cage door so he can slide a table in to Bubba Ray. Hector argues with Hernandez, slamming the cage door on SuperMex's head. In terms of action, this is probably the best overall bout these guys have had (that I've seen), but it is still overbooked to hell and there aren't nearly enough attempts by either team to utilize the electrified cage to their advantage. When Hernandez does finally sent Devon into the cage, all that happens is the lights in the arena flicker and the crowd completely shits on it with boos before chanting "Fire Russo!" soon after. Team 3D hit the Doomsday Device, but only get a 2 count. Hernandez hits a series of sidewalk slams and then sets up a table. Hernandez puts D-von on the table and then climbs the cage (he's wearing gloves to prevent himself from getting electrocuted), launching himself off the top and through the table below in a legitimately ridiculous bump that the crowd responds to with a deserved "Holy Shit" chant. Homicide gets tossed into the cage and we get another silly "electrocution" before Team 3D connects with the Dudley Death Drop to win their first NWA World Tag Team Championships. Overbooked nonsense plagued this match and the stipulation was executed very poorly. These teams clearly had the ability to deliver violent, physical matches, but whoever was in charge of this feud couldn't help themselves from saddling them with one awful gimmick after another. (2/5)

Main event time - TNA/Impact's version of War Games, the Lethal Lockdown match pitting Team Angle (Kurt Angle, Sting, Rhyno, Samoa Joe, and the untrustworthy Jeff Jarrett) against Team Christian (Christian, Scott Steiner, Abyss, Tyson Tomko, and AJ Styles) with whoever scores the pinfall getting a shot at Christian for his NWA World Heavyweight Championship...basically telegraphing a babyface victory. Styles and Angle kicked things off, the first of a few really wise booking decisions in this match. Unlike a WCW or WWE War Games match, they only had the single ring to work in, which made for a very cluttered match as more and more participants made their way into the cage. The first big spot of the match came when Scott Steiner hit a Frankensteiner on Rhyno off the top rope. The crowd went wild for it and deservedly so. After Sting came in at #4 for his team, Christian was the last man in the ring for the heel side - another booking decision that made a ton of sense considering his character. Jarrett came out last and immediately showed whose side he was on, handing out weapons to all his good guy teammates. Angle and AJ made their way to the top of the cage, which was a nice way for them to standout as Sting and Christian took the spotlight in the middle of the ring. Samoa Joe attempted one of his jumping heel kicks while standing on the top with Tomko and it looked nasty (not in a good way) as he landed hard on the mat and didn't seem to do much more than graze Tomko. Tomko did end up taking a helluva bump, though, getting gored through the cell door and sent crashing to the floor. It looked terrific. Steiner tossed Rhyno out of the cell too, which led to Joe diving through the open door, opening up plenty of space in the ring. Christian took a chokeslam onto a bed of tacks from Abyss, the monster semi-turning on the leader of his team after weeks of build. Again, I thought it was the right booking decision as there was no reason for Christian to take the fall. Speaking of falls, off the cage AJ went, taking a huge drop from the top of the cage onto all the guys that had been brawling on the outside. This was captured really well by the camera crew, not something that always happened back then. It was now time for the actual finish, which saw Abyss dump more tacks into Jarrett's trademark weapon, the guitar. Sting prevented him from smashing it over Double J's skull and allowed Jarrett to grab it. They teased Jarrett potentially bashing the Stinger with it, but he didn't turn, using it to put down Abyss. Instead of making the pin himself - and getting an NWA World Championship shot - Jarrett called Sting over to get the fall. Another smart booking decision there to cement Jarrett's babyface alignment. I wouldn't consider this a must-see match; the first 20 minutes are uneventful and the crowded ring doesn't allow for much craziness aside from the aforementioned Frankensteiner and a cool Tower of Doom spot. But the final stretch was wildly entertaining and was booked well. Above-average, but inessential viewing. (3/5)

With a Kwang Score of 2.31-out-of-5, Lockdown 2007 is a mixed bag that ends up settling in "average" territory. The opener, Lynn/Daniels, and main event matches are all good, though none are "must see." Unfortunately, the Blindfold Match is a disaster and both the Senshi/Starr and the Tag Team Titles match aren't great either. With nothing to truly recommend on this show, this one earns a...

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver

TNA Slammiversary 2007

TNA Slammiversay 2007

Nashville, TN - June 2007

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the TNA World Championship was vacant, The X-Division Champion was Chris Sabin, and the TNA Tag Team Champions were Team 3D. 

A somewhat bizarre music video - and even weirder musical performance from the Lo Cash Cowboys (now known as just LOCASH and actually fairly successful) - starts the show. While a hillbilly instrumental plays, highlights are shown from the earliest years of TNA, which means lots of Jeff Jarrett, Hulk Hogan getting bloodied, and a whole bunch of little people, before the music transitions to something a bit more rocking and we see more recent clips of AJ Styles, Sting, Angle, and others. I'm not sure if the producers were trying to make "old school TNA" look really lame, but it absolutely works. 

The crowd was super hyped for this match (and really, this whole show), which really helped take average-to-good matches and make them come off as that much better. The opening contest - LAX vs. Rhino and Senshi - is a perfect example as you wouldn't really expect this bout to "wow" you, but because the crowd is so into it and the performers are motivated and working hard, this match rules. This match also shows why LAX were considered to be one of the best teams on the planet as Homicide takes some crazy bumps and Hernandez gets to show off his impressive strength and shocking agility. This was smartly layed-out too with them going "big vs. small" in the opening minutes before letting the monsters go at it and the undersized guys duke it out. This isn't a match that would make anyone's Best Of TNA list, but as far as starting the show off with a hot match, you really can't do much better than this. (3/5)

Jay "Black Machismo" Lethal challenged Chris Sabin for his X-Division Championship in the next match. Kevin Nash was on commentary but wasn't as entertaining as one would expect. The problem I had with this whole thing was that it was a match where the in-ring action was serious, hard-hitting, fast-paced, and exciting...but the commentary skewed towards comedic, focused a bit too much on Bob Backlund, and I have always disliked Jay Lethal's Macho Man cosplay. The story of Nash tapping into Lethal's respectable mimicry skills and deep knowledge of Randy Savage's vocal tics is just not one that I was able to get emotionally invested in, especially this far down the pike. At no point did I feel like I was watching Lethal break out of a "shell" to claim the X-Division Champion as himself and not a character doing a parody. Say what one may about how vanilla certain X-Division stars were, I still would've preferred to see someone who had gotten over as themselves be the one to dethrone Sabin rather than a guy doing someone else's shtick. A "feel good" moment that didn't make me feel anything because I wasn't invested in Jay Lethal. (2.5/5)

Every major wrestling promotion has attempted to involve real sports stars into their storylines at one point or another, but TNA's always seemed so...local to me. Of course, as I'm not a huge sports fan, I'll readily admit that unless they had brought LeBron James, Shaq, or a Williams sister to the Impact Zone, I probably would have no idea who their star athlete was, but was Frank Wycheck a big name in football? I see that he made the Pro-Bowl a few times, which is a big deal, but it still feels like he was brought in just because the show was happening in Tennessee and he was on the Titans. Anyway, Wycheck teams with Jerry Lynn to take on James Storm and Ron "The Truth" Killings. Killings doesn't even get an entrance, which is a bit ironic because 15 years later, he is easily the biggest star and most well-known of the three wrestlers involved. I was pleasantly surprised with this match as the live crowd was into it and I really liked the way Storm and Killings mocked Wycheck at one point. Speaking of Wycheck, he didn't have to do much, but his sheer size made him stand out and seem like a real threat despite his lack of in-ring experience. The match goes a minute or so too long and I'm not sure why they didn't go with a slightly simpler finish considering Wycheck's amateur status, but this wasn't nearly as bad as it could've been. (2/5)

I know I've complained a bunch about the involvement of Bob Backlund in the X-Division over the previous few shows, but the match he had with Alex Shelley on this show wasn't too bad. Shelley bumped for Backlund huge, taking an awesome overhead release suplex at one point, and doing everything he could to make up for Backlund's noticeably less-than-smooth movements. Chris Sabin showed up towards the end, effectively costing Shelley the match. I don't mind that Shelley - a personal fave - didn't get the W as he was protected a little bit by Sabin's involvement. Not good, but not terrible. (1.5/5)

After some post-match ga-ga involving the Motor City Machine Guns, Backlund, Nash, Jerry Lynn, and Lethal, we get a promo from Christopher Daniels, who is standing in the crowd. Daniels' promo is full of references to God and the Bible. I'm curious what Sting thought of building a storyline out of that sort of material considering he is known for being a fairly devout Born Again Christian. As I've written in the past, I like the concept of Daniels' gimmick around this time, but didn't love the execution and found this promo to be a little corny when it should be more scary.

Back to the ring we go for the Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Doug Basham and Damaja. At the previous show, Basham and Damaja got the win because the Road Dogg was kayfabe injured and their scheduled bout became a Handicap Match (seemingly done to protect the VKM for some inexplicable reason). This match was part of the dreadful VKM/Christy Hemme feud, which should have been stopped after their first terrible segment together. Anyway, Basham and Damaja get some offense in early but once Kip James comes him, the tide turns and the VKM get the win in what felt like just 4-5 minutes. Basham and Damaja look like complete jokes, James gets his win back (which was meaningless), and we get the very predictable heel turn from Lance Hoyt during the post-match that could've and should've happened months earlier. Bad. A half-point because there is a universe where they somehow gave this more time. (0.5/5)

In the back, Rick Steiner reveals to Jim Cornette that he has a mystery partner to replace his injured brother Scott for the now-canceled Steiners/Team 3D match. On a show that was already promising one mystery participant in the main event, the inclusion of another mystery participant angle is an interesting development...

Robert Roode took on Eric Young in a Freedom Match, with Young fighting to escape the contract he was being held to by Roode and his evil business manager, Traci Brooks. The crowd was hot for this match and 1000% behind Young. I wasn't an avid TNA viewer in 2007 - or really at any time, save for maybe a few weeks in 2010? - but these sorts of feuds, when well-executed and played correctly, are what I love about pro-wrestling (even if they've been done to death over the years). Roode and Young took a classic wrestling storyline and didn't really do anything special with it, but it worked with the audience because it was classic and Young was a lovable, goofy underdog while Roode was great as the cocky, bully heel. Oh, and these guys know how to work in the ring. Young shows great fire and Roode has always been an above-average ring technician, not necessarily the flashiest worker, but a guy that executes his offense with impact and bumps and sells as good as anyone. At one point, we almost got a wardrobe malfunction when Young "pantsed" Traci Brooks. That could've been good or bad depending on your view of such things. I really liked the false finish of Young hitting a double Samoan Drop on both heels only to get a 2 count. Roode blasts Young with a chair to get the initial victory before Jim Cornette restarts the match. What I really liked about the execution of all this was Roode and Young allowing the various "swerves"/false finishes to breathe, including interference from Gail Kim, which made it believable that Young would be able to kickout despite getting knocked out cold by a chair just minutes earlier. This attention to detail is too often overlooked. Young ends up rolling Roode up, saving his career in the process. Not "must see," but a significant step up from the previous few matches on this show. (3/5)

The NWA World Tag Team Championships are on the line in the next match (I think?) as Team 3D take on Rick Steiner and his mystery partner...Animal. I'm not sure if Team 3D had turned heel prior to this match, but the nostalgia pops that Steiner and Animal get make them the defacto heels as the crowd is chanting "LOD" and barking like The Dog-Faced Gremlin for the entirety of this match, which goes under 7 minutes. This was about as good as it could've been, I guess, considering how old and unimpressive everyone looks. Animal was essentially retired prior to this match and Rick Steiner hadn't appeared regularly in a major US promotion since WCW, but what were the Dudleys' excuse for looking like shit (especially Bubba)? This was bound to be a disappointment after hyping the legendary battle between The Steiners and Team 3D, but I'll give credit to TNA for at least replacing him with a legitimate tag team legend in Animal. (2/5)

The next match - Christopher Daniels vs. Sting is also a bit of a disappointment. As I've written about before, Daniels' gimmicky "Anti-Christ" character did not click with me. It is too corny at times, Daniels' overacts too much, and I don't see that extra element of evil and brutality that he needed to tap into in order to make this gimmick work. Instead, he's just Christopher Daniels with a little bit of face-paint and some goofy mannerisms. Sting is fine here and he does bump and sell for Daniels, but he never really looks like he's in all that much danger or is being out-wrestled. It would've been interesting to see Sting feel overwhelmed by the high-flying style of Daniels, but the story they tell is a bit more ho-hum than that and the match never really hits that "second gear" before it wraps up in under 7 minutes. Defeating Daniels in under 10 minutes didn't do the Fallen Angel any favors. (2/5)

I wasn't expecting a Tyson Tomko match to snap a string of sub-average matches, but his No DQ match against Abyss is surprisingly quite good. The match starts with some stiff, heated brawling, but its not too long before Abyss pulls out a bag of thumbtacks and we get to the hardcore stuff. It may be "cheap," but its exciting. If the thumbtacks spread across the mat weren't enough, we also get glass, which I very much hope (and am guessing) is of the sugar variety. It doesn't really matter, though, because it looks great and Tomko gets to look like a killer by not only delivering a CURB STOMP onto Abyss into the glass, but also picking up a shard and driving it into Abyss's face. They eventually make their way towards the stage area and climb up the lighting structure for no particular reason at all. Like, zero. But who needs ring psychology when you know you're going to get a big bump? In this case, you get two and, again, they both look terrific even if it is painfully obvious that both guys are landing on a massive stack of cardboard boxes to break their fall. At close to 14 minutes, this match was longer than the previous two matches combined and nearly doubled their score too. Not a "must see" match or anything, but great fun and probably the best Tomko match I've ever seen. (3.5/5)

Main event time - Kurt Angle vs. Christian vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Chris Harris in a King of the Mountain Match for the vacant TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Before the match begins, we get a video interview with Jeff Jarrett, the guy that most people, including myself, believed would be the mystery 5th entrant. However, after the interview, Jim Cornette makes his way to the ring and announces that it will be "Wildcat" Chris Harris instead - per the request of Jarrett, who shrewdly realized that he would probably get heel heat if he had inserted himself into the match. The stipulations of the King of the Mountain Match are hot garbage, but I'll give credit to TNA for at least trying to come up with new concepts and not just bailing on them. Plus, with AJ and Samoa Joe in the ring, and the experience and star power of Christian and Angle, there was little chance this match would stink the joint out. There was lots to like here, especially out of the aforementioned Styles and Joe, who both took great-looking bumps off the penalty box at one point. Harris was somewhat of the odd man out, mostly because everyone else in this match has been intertwined for the past few months and, in some cases, even longer. My biggest gripe was the somewhat awkward finish as Harris speared Cage off a ladder, thus allowing Angle to climb it and retrieve the title without having to do any offense to get there. It would've been cooler if Harris and speared the ladder, knocked both guys out, and we got some sort of race to the top. That minor criticism aside, this was start-to-finish action and the crowd was into every second. I've seen some really, really high ratings for this match that I don't agree with, but this was very good. (3.5/5)

With a Kwang Score of 2.35-out-of-5, Slammiversary 2007 is a show that contains way too much filler and fat to carry over the course of its runtime. Some of the matches on this show would be awful on your average episode of Impact, let alone on one of the company's flagship events. The main event delivers, the Abyss/Tomko match is surprisingly strong, Roode/Young is solid old-school 'rassling, and the opener kicks thing off well...but the lows of this show are low. The Voodoo Kin Mafia and everything they were involved in for the duration of their existence is shit. Daniels/Sting is a disappointment and the other X-Division matches on the card are okay at best. Recommended for superfans of this particular era of TNA, but not for anyone looking for a top-to-bottom great show to watch. 

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver

WWE Royal Rumble 2024

WWE Royal Rumble 2024

St. Petersburg, FL - January 2024

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the WWE Universal Champion was Roman Reigns, the World Heavyweight Champion was Seth Rollins, GUNTHER was the Intercontinental Champion, the US Champion was Logan Paul, The Judgment Day held both the RAW and SmackDown Tag Team Championships, Rhea Ripley was the Women's World Champion on RAW, and IYO Sky was the Women's Champion on SmackDown.

The 2024 Royal Rumble kicked off with the first of two Rumble matches: the Women's Royal Rumble. Having the match start with Nattie Neidhart in light of the accusations made against Vince McMahon earlier in the weekend seemed almost like a rib as Nattie's love and support for the company is practically part of her gimmick. Naomi (Trinity Fatu) made her return to the company and got a huge reaction from the crowd. Naomi wasn't the only big debut/return as TNA Knockout Champion Jordynne Grace also showed up. I really like the inclusion of outside talent as it helps put over the idea that talent from all over the world want to "punch their ticket" to the main event of WrestleMania. The biggest debut, though, came towards the end of the night as Jade Cargill made her first in-ring appearance for the company and nearly won. Becky, Nia, Asuka, Kairi Sane...they all got spotlighted in various ways, but as a whole, this match felt slow and boring at times, the ring feeling too crowded at certain points. Any match with 30 participants is bound to include some "filler" talent like Katana Chance and Michin, but what's make things worse is how interchangeable and indistinguishable so many of the talents were. How many Harley Quinn-esque talents does the roster need? How many women with outlandish hair coloring? The NXT talent who competed in the match didn't wow me with especially exciting gimmicks or styles either. I liked seeing Bayley get the deserved win and expect she will be challeging IYO Sky at Mania, but the biggest story coming out of this match is what the near future holds for Cargill. This wasn't bad, but  (2.5/5)

Roman Reigns defended his WWE Championship in a Fatal Fourway against LA Knight, Randy Orton, and AJ Styles in the next bout. Lots of good action in a match that began with a pace much faster than most of Reigns' title defenses over the past 3+ years. Unfortunately, once Reigns took over, things slowed down so he could do his shtick. LA Knight was very over with the crowd, but they popped for plenty of Orton's offense too. A match like this isn't about the finish - there was never any question about who was leaving with the Championship - and so its really all about the sequences and layout and whether an interesting story is told. It worked for me. Knight shined more than in any other major match I've seen, Orton got to have his moments (including a wonderful false finish after hitting the RKO on every other competitor only to get denied by Solo Sikoa), and AJ was his usual Phenomenal self. I liked AJ busting out a chair late in the match as a heel tactic and thought the finishing sequence was fantastic, even if it was a little bit hard to follow just because of how quickly all the moving parts came together. Not a "must see" match, but certainly an above-average, solid defense for Reigns. (3/5)

Next up - Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul for Paul's United States Championship. Owens controlled early, tossing Paul around the outside of the ring before unleashing an awesome release suplex in the middle of the ring. Logan Paul's batting average is just incredible at this point, even if he has had the benefit of working with only the most experienced and talented members of the roster. Owens was a fantastic foil for Logan Paul, the gruff and tough everyman juxtaposed against the cocky "pretty boy" egomaniac. I liked that Paul targeted Owens' hands (and how good Owens' selling was throughout the match) and how much mid-match gloating Logan did to make sure the audience never lost interest. Owens' offense looked terrific, everything he did having an extra snap to it on this night. This was a physical match with lots of crash landings and big suplexes and a good, storyline-furthering finish that protected Owens even in a DQ loss. Not "must see," but very good. (3.5/5)

The Men's Royal Rumble match headlined the show as "Main Event" Jey Uso came out at number one and, in a not-so-big-of-a-shocker, his brother Jimmy came out at number 2. The Usos got a moment together, but I must admit, I didn't really get the "goosebumps" that others did and am not really interested in seeing them square off in a full feud yet. Grayson Waller came out at #3, mic in hand, and teamed up with Jimmy to work over Jey. The first big surprise of the match happened at the #4 spot as Andrade made his return to the WWE after a so-so run in AEW. Carmelo Hayes made his WWE PLE debut at #5 and, as I don't watch SmackDown regularly or NXT, this was my first glimpse at the former NXT Champion. Kinda like Andrade, I was excited to see him at first, but then wasn't all that impressed as everyone just kinda folded into a growing ball of unremarkableness. Nakamura and Santos Escobar were next out, the former getting a much bigger reaction than the latter. Escobar and Andrade had a fun segment together before Karrion Kross made his way to the ring. Dominik Mysterio came out at #9 and got massive boos. He is easily among the top 3-4 biggest heels in the industry. Carlito came out at #10 and like Kross and Dom before him, nothing super exciting happened unless you count watching him bite an apple. Like the women's match, there were too many lazy elimination attempts and not enough actual eliminations as the ring filled up with guys that had no chance of winning. Bobby Lashley entered at #11 and out went Carlito and Karrion Kross, but then it was Lashley who got screwed by Kross from the outside. This led to a brawl involving the Street Profits and the Authors of Pain. Fine storytelling there, but I'm not going out of my way to see where this goes on SmackDown because Kross is so dull. Ludwig Kaiser came in at #11 and went right after Carmelo Hayes but then just mostly strutted around. Kaiser has become one of my favorites and I can't wait to see what he'll do once he's out of GUNTHER's shadow. He had no story here either. Austin Theory was next in and after hitting a cool move on Hayes, went right to doing nothing. I don't expect a ton of brilliant psychology in a Royal Rumble match, but this match really lacked suspense and was straight-up boring at times. After Balor came in at #14, Cody Rhodes made his entrance, receiving an absolutely massive reaction from the St. Pete crowd. With Rhodes in, things did pick up a bit, reminding me of the years when the Rumble wouldn't really get going until Hogan showed up. Bronson Reed got a small bit of the spotlight as the next entrant before Kofi Kingston joined the fray. This was Kingston's 16th Rumble, which is wild. Kaiser, Andrade, and Nakamura were all eliminated around this time, the match thinning out a little before GUNTHER made his way to the ring. GUNTHER went on a "chopping spree" before eliminating Kofi with relative ease. Kofi not doing one of his big gimmicky near-eliminations was a bit of a bummer as the match needed some fun beyond just seeing Jimmy Uso fail to make any friends. Ivar and Reed had a cool exchange right before Bron Breaker made his way down the aisle. Breaker eliminated Jimmy Uso with a clothesline and then tossed Balor before having a staredown with GUNTHER. Good moment there and maybe a tease for a Mania match? Omos came in at #21, accompanied by MVP. Omos eliminated Reed (or Reed eliminated himself mostly in an awkward clothesline spot). Ivar tried to come off the ropes, but got speared by Bron in another neat moment involving the Son of a Steiner. Pat McAfee came in next, which didn't make a ton of sense as he acted shocked and then scared to participate. McAfee would've had to enter the Rumble, right? And known what number he drew, right? Unfunny. Illogical. Stupid. After a little bit of comedy, Breaker dumped Omos only to get tossed by Dom Mysterio. Outside the ring, Breaker hit JD McDonough with a nasty spear on the floor. Great showing from Breaker in an otherwise unremarkable Rumble. R-Truth came in at #24 and rolled JD into the ring only for McDonough to get eliminated instantly. R-Truth  did some silly shtick involving wanting Dom to tag him in before paying homage to John Cena, drawing one of the biggest pops of the match. The Miz came in at #25 and went right after GUNTHER, who he feuded with not too long before this. I liked the interplay between Truth, Miz, and Dom too as Miz and Truth have lots of history together. Damien Priest came in at #26 and went right after Truth, eliminating his would-be stablemate. Priest dominated for the next few minutes but didn't get any more eliminations before CM Punk came out at #27. Punk came in with a big flurry of offense and then eliminated Dom before fading into the background. Ricochet was out at #28 and got a pretty muted response. The Miz got eliminated from a chest chop as he sat on the top rope. Drew McIntyre came in at #29, a guy that has been doing some great heel work on Raw as of late. Jey Uso got eliminated by GUNTHER and then it was time for #30: Sami Zayn. Zayn went right after McIntyre, the guy who had put him on the shelf. McIntyre eliminated Ricochet soon after, flipping him out of the ring by his foot. The final six had a bit of a staredown, but this match seemed flat. McIntyre connected with a Future Shock DDT onto Punk but ate an Exploder and then a Helluva Kick. Zayn eliminated Priest but then got dumped himself, the final four now being Rhodes, Punk, GUNTHER, and McIntyre. Great final minutes here as GUNTHER and McIntyre brutalized the babyfaces. McIntyre looked like he might've had the match won but got eliminated by CM Punk. Meanwhile, in a scenario not dissimilar to the end of last year's match, Cody Rhodes eliminated GUNTHER and we were down to two. Also like last year, the final two took their time working towards the end, trading finishers, selling the exhaustion, really building towards a finale that saw Punk escape a GTS to toss Punk onto the floor. This wasn't as good as last year's Rumble and needed more "fun" elements and maybe even one or two more surprise entrants. (2/5)

Overall, not a great Rumble event, but it manages to squeak by with one of the higher Kwang Ratings of the past few years (a 2.75-out-of-5) because of its brevity and straight-to-the-point execution. Every match felt important and purposeful even if I wouldn't necessarily call anything "must see." The concept of the Rumble sells itself to die-hards and casual fans, but this one would only truly entertain those that are familiar with the current storylines and the full roster, including NXT. If you're not one of those fans, this show would definitely drag.

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver