The 1996 King of the Ring opens with the first of two semi-finals matches - "Stone Cold" Steve Austin vs. "The Wildman" Marc Mero. These two were very familiar with each other having had multiple matches against each other in WCW (and most likely on the house show circuit in the WWE too). While Austin had his "Stone Cold" moniker already, he wouldn't deliver his famous Austin 3:16 speech until later in the night and was still very much just a midcard heel coming into this show (though, to be fair, there were already pockets of the audience that were rooting for him). The first half of the match sees Austin in full control and it doesn't necessarily make for the most riveting action. Things get better once Mero makes his comeback and the pace picks up (it certainly doesn't hurt that Austin gets his mouth cut hardway and the addition of "color" to the match definitely makes it feel way more physical). I understand why Owen Hart was put on commentary on this show - as Jerry Lawler has a match later on - but he's a bit too over-the-top for my liking and his best moments are when he's less outright heelish and more of an analyst. Some good nearfalls towards the end before Austin gets the W with the Stone Cold Stunner, which had only been recently introduced (and gets a sizable pop). (2.5/5)
Up next, the other semi-final: Vader vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts. This is another example of Vince not really knowing what to do with Vader despite the template being pretty easy to follow had he just went with what worked in WCW and not tried to fit a square peg into a round hole. Before the match, Roberts cuts a promo with religious references as the commentary team talks up how Roberts overcame drug addiction, found spirituality, and is now making a historic comeback. Owen Hart just repeatedly calls him out for being old. I was genuinly shocked to read that Jake was only 41 when this show happens as he looked much older. Hell, Finn Balor is 41 right now and still looks like he can go for another decade. Anyway...Vader dominates early, but Roberts does at least get to land a few shots in. Roberts kicks out of a big splash and eventually strings enough offense together to capture Vader into DDT position, but as Vader goes down, he shoves a referee and the match ends in a bullshit DQ. Vader shouldn't have been losing to anybody, let alone a Jake Roberts that looked at least 15 years older than he really was, even by DQ. If he needed to be booked into the tournament, they needed him to win it and go on an undefeated streak building towards SummerSlam. Vader gets his heat back (sorta) by hitting the Vader Bomb on Roberts, which also doesn't help Austin later on as, instead of beating a Jake Roberts that was "100%" (which is a stretch considering how haggard Jake looked at this point), Roberts has the out of having suffered "internal injuries" earlier in the show. (1/5)
The WWE Tag Team Championships are on the line next as The Smoking Gunns defended the titles against The Godwinns. This whole storyline centered around Sunny, who had left the Bodydonnas when they lost the titles to the Godwinns, joined the Godwinns, and then turned on the Godwinns to help the freshly-turned Smoking Gunns win the titles. People can criticize the company for putting the focus of the entire tag team division on Sunny but they need to remember that not a single one of the aforementioned teams was (a) over with the crowd and (b) capable of putting on good, engaging tag team matches consistently. There's nothing technically wrong with this match, which follows a fairly standard set-up as the Godwinns get some minutes to shine early before the Gunns cut the ring in half and Henry O. Godwinn plays the face-in-the-peril, aside from just that its boring and the crowd doesn't seem to care about anything aside from Sunny (the few chants that take place in the match all seem to be for her). Phineas gets the hot tag but the ensuing melee allows Bart Gunn to hit one of the pig farmers (I don't recall which) with a boot to get the victory in a match that went 10 minutes but, at times, felt like 20. (1/5)
Jerry Lawler comes out and cuts a long, generic heel promo on the Milwaukee crowd, making fun of the Brewers and the fans to get extra heat. I'm guessing they tacked this onto the front of the match because his opponent, The Ultimate Warrior, could only be relied upon to work 5-6 minutes. Still, I'd rather have seen him just obliterate Lawler for 5 minutes than have to listen to this pedophile berate audience members. The "match" is as bad as one would expect as Lawler controls the first 2-3 minutes, hits his patented piledriver (which Warrior no sells), and then gets demolished in under a minute. The WWE really lacked starpower in 96' and they needed heels for Warrior to destroy, but this rivalry with Lawler felt so minor league and trivial when Warrior was a top-of-the-card act. (0.5/5)
The first of many Mankind vs. Undertaker matches is next. I misremembered things and believed they had already had a PPV match before this (at an In Your House), but this was their first showdown and, though it goes a touch long, its still pretty darn good. I've read quite a few reviews of this that point out that this might be Taker's first great performance or the first time that he really showed his versatility. Personally, I think his matches with Bret Hart and even the match against Diesel at WrestleMania XII showed what Taker was capable of, but that doesn't take away from the greatness of his rivalry with Mankind. Speaking of Mankind, compared to some of the ridiculous bumps he would take in their other matches, this one is comparatively tame...but still features Mankind taking an unprotected chair shot to the head and falling to the floor multiple times. But, really, unlike their other matches, its Foley who is in the driver's seat for much of this, not necessarily dominating or manhandling the Deadman, but certainly on the attack a whole bunch. I loved Mankind's running knee into the steel steps spot and the foreshadowing of Paul Bearer's eventual heel turn in the finish. Not a "must see" match, but certainly above-average. (3/5)
The next match - Intercontinental Champion Goldust defending the title against Ahmed Johnson - starts off incredibly hot and then grinds down to a tedious bore that absolutely didn't need 15+ minutes (especially after a Mankind/Undertaker war that went close to 20). Again, the first few minutes are incredible as Johnson bursts through the entrance (and sends one of the King of the Ring "guards" flying), nails Goldust with a clothesline that causes him to do a flip (great bump there), and then performs a ridiculous running dive out of the ring that could've went all sorts of wrong for him. Once Goldust takes control, though, Johnson basically plays dead as Goldust performs multiple submissions (which wasn't really ever Dustin's strength). Its all building towards Goldust having to "revive" Ahmed Johnson by giving him mouth-to-mouth, which is too outrageous and a bridge too far for me to buy into. Johnson eventually makes the spirited comeback and regains the Intercontinental Championship, but this was too long and dragged too much at times to be considered good, even if you (like me) enjoy Goldust's shtick. (2/5)
After a promo from "The Loose Cannon" Brian Pillman that references Jeffrey Dahmer and includes the word "rape" (just for those that hold steadfast to the idea that Vince wasn't already experimenting with an edgier product in mid-96'), its time for the King of the Ring Finals - Steve Austin vs. Jake "The Snake" Roberts. This isn't much of a match, but it didn't need to be. Austin basically just kicks Roberts' ass until Gorilla Monsoon shows up to check on Jake's status. Jake tells him that he wants to continue the fight, but Austin is never really in trouble aside from taking a few of Jake's patented jabs. Austin hits the Stunner and this one is over. More of an angle/segment than a match, this was efficient and effective but not what anyone would call a "good" match. (2/5)
Austin marches down the aisle to where Dok Hendrix is waiting by the throne and proceeds to deliver arguably the most famous, most important promo of the 90s (or, at the very least, #2 behind Hulk Hogan's heel turn from the same year). Even 25+ years later, it is still a remarkable series of statements from Austin that perfectly captures everything about the "Stone Cold" character, what his attitude was, what his motivations were, and what he thought of the rest of the roster. (+1)
Main event time - Shawn Michaels vs. The British Bulldog with Mr. Perfect as...no, sorry, before the match begins, Mr. Perfect's role as guest referee is changed to being the "lead referee outside the ring." Aside from not counting out Michaels at one point, Perfect plays no major role in the match and I'm unaware of why the switch was made to make Hebner the referee aside from maybe Perfect not being cleared due to his back injury/Lloyds of London policy. Any which way, at nearly 30 minutes, this is a lengthy war of a match, but both Michaels and Bulldog bring their best stuff to keep it interesting, fast-paced, and exciting throughout (even as both guys pull out a variety of "rest hold" submissions). Michaels' bumps in the corner and out of the ring are stupendous, but Bulldog is also putting in a ton of effort here and this, along with his acclaimed SummerSlam 92' match against Bret Hart, might be his "career match" as he unleashes not only some awesome power moves (multiple guerilla press slams, a vicious release superplex, and a wicked powerbomb at one point), but also a cadre of big clotheslines and cut-offs. My biggest gripe was the "tacked on" finish as every other nearfall was so good that Michaels winning with just a single superkick after going through his "3 Moves of Doom" felt uninspired (though, to be fair, this sort of ending was not atypical for the WWE even in 96'). The finish also included a meaningless ref bump that didn't play into Mr. Perfect's involvement at all, making it even more head-scratching as to why he was even included in the build-up for this rematch. (3.5/5)
After the match, Owen Hart and British Bulldog beat up on Shawn until Ahmed Johnson shows up. Then its Vader's turn to run down and make it 3-on-2 until The Ultimate Warrior arrives to set-up the next month's International Incident main event. Of course, that main event would never happen as Warrior left the company and was replaced by Sid. That show was also infamous for Jim Cornette proclaiming on Raw that if his team lost, he would personally pay back all the people who bought the PPV, which has got to be one of the cheapest and lamest marketing plots in PPV history and really reeked of WWE's desperation at the time.
Overall, King of the Ring 96' is an uneven show book-ended by two very, very good (near great) matches in Austin/Mero and Shawn/Bulldog. I didn't particularly care for Owen Hart being on commentary all night, but I guess it was better than the alternative of having to hear Jerry Lawler make references to royalty all night. The best parts of the show - basically anytime Austin was on-screen, the main event, and the strong Taker/Mankind match - are most interesting because they point to where the company was going, but the low points all involve the stale elements the WWE had resorted to in 94'-95' (a woeful tag team division and aging stars like Roberts, Warrior, and Lawler). With a Kwang Score of 2.06-out-of-5, King of the Ring 96' is a show that is best enjoyed by just cherry-picking the best 45-60 minutes.
FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver
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