Against All Odds 2007 begins with a video hyping the then-current NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Christian Cage. Its a cool opening video built around his nickname as "The Instant Classic." Unfortunately, things grown to a near-immediate halt as our opening contest is The LAX vs. The Dudley Boys in a "Little Italy Streetfight." There's probably more than a dozen things wrong with this match but I'll just rattle off a few of them: the Impact Zone was in Orlando and the closest "Little Italy" that I could find in the state was Fort Lauderdale some 200 miles away, nobody in this match was ever really depicted as Italian (while Bubba Ray is Italian, he was famously billed from Dudleyville and his Italian heritage didn't come up a single time in the dozen years he'd been wrestling for national promotions as far as I recall), there is no such thing as a "Little Italy" streetfight (and I don't think they ever did one again), it is inexplicably a non-title affair, and there are strippers hanging around outside the ring because....? On commentary, Mike Tenay does explain that this match has come about because these two teams have brawling in all sorts of locales, including a strip club, but that still doesn't explain why this match has such a ludicrously corny gimmick that buries both teams with its cartoonishness. At one point, the strippers grind on Bubba, which spits in the face of the seriousness and the intensity. But even if you ignored that, this is not a good brawl and the interference of a 4 randos in the middle of the match doesn't help either. D-Von bleeds a gusher to give the appearance that this a wild and dangerous melee, but there's nothing creative or interesting that happens at any point (even the pizza cutter and cheese grater spots are too overtly tame, a page lifted out of New Jack's playbook but without the commitment to actually stepping into true death match territory). (1.5/5)
After sharing his thoughts backstage and nearly coming to blows, Austin Starr (aka Austin Aries) takes on Senshi. By this point in his TNA run, Senshi (Low Ki) was no longer getting a major push as a serious character, though the commentary team did try to build him up. Still, it was clear that his run as a martial artist bad-ass hadn't clicked and that he would've needed a series of big, definitive wins to get him there. This is not that. At 10 minutes, they have a good amount of time to tell a story and there are good exchanges, but this match needed more "sizzle" - if I can make a lame pun, some stakes would've helped - beyond the predictable arrival of Bob Backlund during the post-match. The finish is a bit awkward; designed to protect Starr in a loss by making it seem like he might've actually won the match, it seems pretty clear to my eyes that the final 3 count occurred when Senshi was on top (with his shoulders really only touching the mat for maybe half of the count). Not bad, but not something worth seeking out for even the biggest Aries or Low Ki fan. (2/5)
The next match is absurd as Christy Hemme takes on The Big Oily Naked Guy. Kinda like the Little Italy Street Fight, there's more than a couple things wrong with this: Christy Hemme is fighting for equality but her sole emotion is anger (which sort of makes her come off as a buzzkilling heel), the Big Oily Naked Guy is big and naked by the end of the match but doesn't seem to have any oil on, the original intention of introducing the Big Oily Naked Guy was to make fun of the WWE for presenting such a character on their TV but then TNA used their parody character for MONTHS and had him wrestle on a pay per view, and the match is fought under Tuxedo Strip rules because...? As one might expect, this is horrible, unfunny, and Don West goes crazy at the "upskirt" shots the camera man gets. I really hope he was coached to be a perv - ala Jerry Lawler - and that he actually isn't that guy. After the match, Kip James (Billy Gunn) shows up and teases that he's going to strip only to (surprise * surprise) rip of Hemme's shirt. There is nothing redeeming about this. (0/5)
Oh...between a bunch of these matches, we get some Paparazzi Productions stuff as Alex Shelley shares a "sex tape" of Traci Brooks and Eric Young that he secretly filmed. I don't really know all the details, but the only thing funny about any of these segments is Alex Shelley making random Blondie jokes in reference to one of TNA's interviewers (who I don't know the name of)...
Back to the ring we go for Lance Archer vs. Dale Torborg. A pre-match video explains how this feud started, as it was built around TNA having MLB stars AJ Pierzynski, Johnny Damon, and David Eckstein. I guess if you were a baseball superfan, their involvement would've made for an interesting story, but this didn't interest me at all. Johnny Damon is the only one of the three I'd ever heard of (though a cursory glance at Wikipedia reveals that these other guys were no slouches in their prime either) and he doesn't appear on PPV. Torborg was formerly the KISS Demon in WCW, as Mike Tenay notes on commentary, which basically tells you how good of an in-ring competitor he is. Lance Archer had not yet become the big, stiff, hardcore brawler he is now 16 years later, though he does move well for his size and I'm not surprised the WWE came calling not long after this (though his run in WWE was not very successful). This wasn't as bad as what came before it, but it wasn't very good either and certainly not worth paying for. (1/5)
After another Paparazzi Productions segment, its back to the ring for AJ Styles vs. Rhyno in a Motor City Chain Match. Again, Orlando is nowhere near Detroit, but at least Detroit is Rhyno's hometown so this was essentially "his" gimmick match. There are two poles on opposite sides of the ring, one holding a police baton and the other holding a key to unlock the handcuffs that are keeping these guys chained to each other. Yup, its overbooked nonsense when just a plain ol' chain match would've been much better. AJ Styles was so good, even back then, that this match is still the best thing that has happened on the program up to this point by at least a couple hundred miles. I've seen enough good Rhyno matches to appreciate what the Man Beast can do and he and AJ have good chemistry - but I daresay that whoever was the agent or whoever helped them breakdown this match or put it together (or if it was AJ and Rhyno doing it themselves), they threw too many disparate ideas and elements into a match that just needed to be violent and built around the stipulation. The false finish where referee Earl Hebner decides to help Rhyno just because AJ is kind of a prick? Unearned. The inclusion of a police baton? Unnecessary. The best moments of this match revolve around the chain, AJ's athleticism, and Rhyno's explosive Gore. The fact that the chain is discarded entirely by the end of the match felt like a lost opportunity to really explore all the different ways they could incorporate that element to build to a deserving, clean finish. Not bad, but not as good as it could've and should've been. (3/5)
Chris Sabin defends the X-Division Championship against former mentor Jerry Lynn in the next contest. There's good work throughout this and Sabin does some good character work as a detestable heel, but some of his shtick is just too hammy and generic. Lynn, meanwhile, is his usual self for better and worse. On one hand, Lynn is as crisp, fluid, and technically skilled as ever. On the other hand, there's a reason his best work often came from working with guys that could make up for his lack of natural charisma. At 13 minutes, they have plenty of time to showcase their agility and, again, the work itself is uniformly well-executed and delivered with gusto, but I just found the whole thing unremarkable and hoping that there would eventually be some sort of twist to bring the match to a higher gear. (2.5/5)
The next match pits James Storm and Jacqueline vs. Gail Kim and Petey Williams. Williams was/is a very good worker, a guy that, the more I see of him, am convinced that he would've been a relatively bigger star had he come around 10 years later when his size wouldn't have been such a hindrance and the "super junior" style became much more common in the WWE (and, now, AEW). James Storm, on the other hand, is a guy who I still haven't seen "the best of" yet and am not sure I ever will, though I'll readily admit that I haven't really done a huge dive into early TNA or the Beer Money years or anything more recent. Anyway, this is about what one would expect from a mixed tag team match built around personality conflicts and not necessarily a great blend of talent. Williams does his thing - which is fun and impressive - but it doesn't really mesh well with Storm's more "old school" style and the same can be said of Kim and Jacqueline. Chris Harris makes his return, still sporting an eye patch, during the post-match, running off the heels. At under 10 minutes, this doesn't overstay its welcome, but its still sub-par. (2/5)
Bobby Roode and Traci Brooks make their way down the aisle and announce their newest "acquisition" as part of Bobby Roode Inc.: Eric Young. This is a solid segment and the crowd is definitely behind Young as an underdog, nerdy babyface who is being bullied by Roode. Not good enough to warrant a +1 point or anything, but perfectly fine 'rasslin' stuff.
Sting vs. Abyss in a Prison Rules match follows. The storyline leading into this match was over-the-top and ridiculous, but I liked that it was a bit of a throwback to some of Sting's goofier storylines in WCW (the feud with Abdullah the Butcher, the angle with Robocop, even the Vampiro stuff). While I have a soft spot for this sort of stuff, I still wouldn't call this match good. There's only a couple memorable spots - Abyss smashing a siren light over Sting's head, Sting launching himself off a dumpster onto Abyss through a table - but the rest felt sort of cookie cutter, which is maybe a bit unfair but, well, Abyss had done a fair amount of matches that were even more hardcore and violent, so this came off as underwhelming comparatively. I also didn't like the stupidity of Sting spending so much time going after James Mitchell and leaving himself vulnerable to Abyss's attack. A veteran worker like Sting just shouldn't be ignoring a monster like Abyss to get revenge on a manager until he knew Abyss was fully incapacitated or locked in the cage. Not terrible and maybe about as good as one could've hoped, but nothing worth seeking out. (2.5/5)
Main event time - Kurt Angle challenging Christian for his NWA World Heavyweight Championship with Samoa Joe serving as the Special Guest Ring Enforcer. For some reason, Samoa Joe isn't ringside at the start of the match, which makes no sense. Also not ringside? Scott Steiner - the guy who had played a big role in the build-up to the match and was Christian's hand-picked equalizer. Anyway, this was overbooked and featured multiple ref bumps and interference from not only the aforementioned Joe and Steiner but also AJ Styles and Tyson Tomko. This felt like a "WWE style main event," which could be expected considering Christian and Angle's history, but I kinda wish they had opted to do something really wild and, y'know, just have a straight-up great match with lots of counters and cut-offs and technicality (something more akin to the matches that Christian had with Orton years later). I liked Samoa Joe's work as the enforcer (when he did eventually show up) as he didn't intervene too much and didn't take much of the spotlight, but he was also pretty ineffective from a kayfabe perspective if you consider that Christian was still able to have three different cronies interfere on his behalf (not to mention the two ref bumps again). This was a disappointment, but it wasn't terrible - just average. (2.5/5)
Earning a Kwang Score of 1.89-out-of-5, this show had few bright spots and only a single match of nine could potentially be considered above-average (the AJ Styles/Rhyno match). Meanwhile, matches like Torberg/Archer and the absolutely awful Christy Hemme match are actively bad and should be avoided at all costs. As bad as the worst pay-per-views I've reviewed in close to a decade now.
FINAL RATING - DUDleyville
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