WWE Royal Rumble 2016

Royal Rumble 2016 

January 24th, 2016

Orlando, FL

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's Rumble, Roman Reigns is the WWE Champion (though, the belt has essentially been vacated as the winner of the evening's titular battle royale will be named the new champion). The Intercontinental Championship is held by Dean Ambrose, Alberto Del Rio is the reigning United States Champion, Charlotte is the Divas Champion, and The New Day are the recognized World Tag Team Champions.

COMMENTARY: Michael Cole, JBL, and Byron Saxton

After a brief interview with Vince and Stephanie McMahon, the 2016 Royal Rumble starts off with a Last Man Standing Match for the Intercontinental Championship - Dean Ambrose defending the strap against Kevin Owens. While these two were given ample time and we saw a ridiculous amount of weapons utilized, I found the match to be a bit "same ol' same ol'," especially for Ambrose, who wrestled very similar brawls with Bray Wyatt and Seth Rollins in 2014 and 2015. The crowd's excessive "Holy Shit" chants on spots that we've seen done before multiple times bothered me like going to a movie theatre and hearing audiences laugh at the punchline they've already seen five dozen times in the movie's trailer. On the positive side, the most devastating, violent spot in the match ended it - a seemingly small detail that makes a huge difference for me in an LMS match. Overall, a strong opener, but this one shouldn't be on anyone's Match of the Year list come December. The fact that Mr. Tito over at Lords Of Pain gave this more than 4-stars is proof to how little content, from the past and present, he soaks in compared to years past. (3.5/5)

The Tag Team Championships were on the line next - The New Day putting the titles on the line against The Usos. Before the bell rang, the New Day delivered one of their classic strong-but-long promos, debuting Francesca 2, their replacement trombone for Francesca, the team's original trombone (that was destroyed by Chris Jericho), and getting the crowd into a frenzy. As the match went on, the crowd seemed more interested in Xavier Woods' out-of-the-ring antics than anything the actual participants were doing, breaking into a "Play Francesca" chant at one point. Like the opener, this one didn't really showcase anything we haven't seen before, at least until the final few minutes, when a sloppily-executed-but-creative series of false finishes had me at the edge of my seat. Also like the opener, I really dug the ending of this one as Big E catching one of the Usos for the Big Ending was executed and captured on camera perfectly. Good, not great, match. Can you imagine how much more over The New Day would be if they actually had rivals that were as entertaining and popular as they are?  (3/5)

The Wyatts' cut a promo hyping their involvement in tonight's main event. 

Kalisto challenged Alberto Del Rio for his United States Championship next. While this one featured quite a few botches, I liked the story told considerably more than the two previous bouts - Kalisto essentially fighting as the underdog the whole time and trying his best to survive Del Rio's mix of deadly kicks and innovative offense, including an awesome knees-to-the-chest maneuever that he busted out as a counter to Kalisto's head scissors. A poorly-executed victory roll spot deadened the crowd a bit, but Kalisto's first Sarita Del Sol brought them back into things. While I'm not sure what the point of "hot potato-ing" the United States Championship for the past month was, I'm willing to take a "wait-and-see" approach to what this may be leading to down the line. Elsewhere on the internet, people are calling this one a dud, but as someone who doesn't typically watch RAW and Smackdown, this was a fresh match to these eyes and, while not outstanding, it was better than average (especially for Del Rio, a guy I tend to think puts on some real boring matches at times). (3/5)

After an excellent video package tracking their history, Becky Lynch challenged former best friend Charlotte for her Divas Championship. Loud "Let's Go Becky" chants soundtracked some solid back-and-forth wrestling early on, the match getting taken to a higher gear once the fight spilled out of the ring and Ric Flair caused a major distraction by planting a kiss on the unsuspecting Lynch. Call it disgusting, sexist, depraved but as JBL pointed out, Flair is a self-proclaimed "kiss stealer" (and the WWE  has done much, much worse, especially in Divas matches). Lots of good "little things" in this contest: well-scouted counters out of both women, Becky's facial expressions, Charlotte heeling it up without doing the gratuitous and counterproductive Naitch tributes, Lynch working on Charlotte's arm to prepare her for her finisher, and an impressive powerbomb counter out of Becky's armbar by Charlotte. Unfortunately, the last minute, which was overbooked, unnecessarily screwy, and, worst of all, poorly executed, hurt what had been a straightforward and really enjoyable contest. Bonus points for the post-match beatdown, though, as well as the return of Sasha Banks. I was worried that Banks would become the defacto babyface by attacking Charlotte, but her treatment of Becky Lynch suggests to me that Lynch is still slotted in as the fan surrogate here, the "odd girl out" who will, hopefully, win the big one down the road. Another good match that added even more legitimacy to the Divas Championship. (3.5/5)

Main event time - the 2016 Royal Rumble! Here's my notes because putting this in paragraph form would be an eyesore:

* Reigns made quick work of Rusev, but was definitely surprised by the number 3 entrant: AJ Styles! The Phenomenal One got a huge response and came off as an absolute star. I was, admittedly, someone who believed the WWE Universe wouldn't "know" AJ, and I still hold out that it certainly mattered that he debuted in Orlando (aka "TNA/NXT Country") and not Des Moines, but I'll also give credit where its due and congratulate the WWE for an all-around great debut for him. Cole, JBL, and Saxton treating him like a big deal only helped viewers at home.

* After Axel and Breeze were swiftly eliminated, Chris Jericho came out for another noticeably large pop, which was a bit surprising to me considering how lukewarm his response has been treated in other cities (and especially on the internet).

* Kofi's yearly non-elimination was fun, but the true comedy was R-Truth hauling a ladder into the match. Good comedy relief placed in the right spot in the match.

* Just as Stardust was set to make his way into the match, the League of Nations showed up and destroyed Reigns. This would've been an interesting twist had it not (a) made the actual finish fairly predictable, (b) been incredibly counterproductive in making Reigns look tough, and (c) completely buried Sheamus, Rusev, and Del Rio as nincompoops who don't understand the one basic, most important rule of the Rumble. Considering they went through all the trouble of teaming up on him and putting him through a table, you'd think one of the League members (or Vince McMahon, who was also on the scene) would have rolled him into the ring and then tossed him over the top for good measure. Stupid storytelling here. 

* After Big Show came in and eliminated Ryback and Titus O'Neill, Braun Strowman reared his super ugly head. Strowman may be green as goose shit, but seeing him go toe-to-toe with Big Show was a cool visual and it definitely felt like a "moment" to see him eliminate the Largest Athlete in the World. Few have talked about those two squaring off at WrestleMania, but expect to see it happen at this year's Andre The Giant Memorial. 

* Kevin Owens arrived soon after, hobbling his way to the ring, every bit the gritty fighter that he's portrayed himself to be. He instantly went after AJ, which popped the crowd huge and led to AJ's exit. I thought this was a pitch-perfect way to get Styles out of the match as it kept the heat on Owens and gave the fans even more of a reason to despise this guy. Had Styles been eliminated by anyone else, I could see the IWC exploding in rage...but Owens was the right call.

* Minutes later, Sami Zayn returned and while he didn't garner as huge a reaction as Styles, the crowd did recognize his storyline with Owens and reacted accordingly. The booking of AJ/Owens/Zayn worked really well as a self-contained story in this match and hopefully it will continue out of it in some shape or fashion.

* From here, the Wyatt Family essentially took over, tossing out people left and right. While only Luke Harper impresses me every week, I never mind seeing a stable, especially one of 300+ pounders, dominating a Rumble as a unit. It makes too much sense not to happen. 

* Of course, once the Wyatts started dominating, you had to know it was only a matter of time before The Beast would arrive. Lesnar came in at #23 and the next 3-5 minutes were heaven as the Royal Rumble turned into Suplex City. Lesnar's stiff shot at Strowman looked like it knocked him back to the future, but I also really liked seeing the former UFC Heavyweight Champion toss Luke Harper like he was a bag of Idaho's Best. 

* Absolutely loved the Miz refusing to get into the ring until Lesnar was out. Not only did he add an extra element to the commentary, but it fit his chickenshit character to a T.

* While Lesnar's elimination at the hands of the entire Wyatt Family made perfect sense (and seems to point pretty conclusively at what Lesnar will be doing at Mania), I was less thrilled by his reaction to his elimination. Lesnar sold being hurt, but since when does being hurt stop the Beast? Him walking out of the ring, while Bray Wyatt continued to wrestle in the Rumble, seemed out of character for him. I would've preferred Lesnar getting back into the ring and tossing Wyatt, an eye-for-an-eye attack that would've left both men blind and, more importantly, allowed Wyatt to keep his aura going. Instead, Wyatt got eliminated in a rather "normal" way, coming across as just another guy instead of an evil demon cult leader.

* Sheamus at #29 and the crowd seemed to be growing restless, especially once Roman Reigns returned. Ziggler got some pops for nearly eliminating the ex-Shield member, which wasn't much of a surprise, while Chris Jericho impressively held on till the bitter end, lasting somewhere over 40 minutes if I'm not mistaken.

* As many fans, myself included, predicted, Triple H arrived at #30. While the live crowd was initially very warm to his return, as the minutes went on and he and Reigns began to toss out the other participants, I think there was a general disappointing realization that this match was going to come down between the "chosen one" Roman Reigns and the "choosing one" Triple H. Kudos to the WWE for adding a slight swerve by having Dean Ambrose outlast Reigns, which was the right decision to make for that crowd in that moment but maybe the wrong decision to make in the big picture as I'm not sure why Reigns, aside from being the former Champion, can lay claim at being the Number One Contender when Ambrose was, technically, the second last survivor. Plus, unlike Reigns, who essentially got a "powder," it was Ambrose who impressively outlasted the match's heaviest hitters, including Brock Lesnar, Braun Strowman, and Bray Wyatt. 

* Coming out of the Rumble, I'd argue that there are 4-5 guys that the match gave a shine to that don't have the initials RR. Oddly enough, one of them is Chris Jericho, who might end up as Ambrose's WrestleMania opponent, which I'm lukewarm on. 

* Overall, a very good Royal Rumble that didn't overrely on surprise entrants or blasts from the pasts, which makes sense to me when you consider that this one was for the WWE World Championship, meaning wasting spots to outside talent like Santino would've been kind of silly, and that the roster they have currently is pretty jacked with young, hungry talent. It's hard to rate a Rumble, but as they can sometimes get tiresome and boring and this one never really lagged, I'll give it a solid (4/5).

With a strong 3.4-out-of-5 on the watchability meter, Royal Rumble 2016 was one of the most digestible shows I've watched in a couple months. For better or worse, the show delivered the hits fans wanted - a couple of surprise entrants (AJ Styles and Sami Zayn), a Kofi stunt, a trip to Suplex City, and several cliffhanging question that must be answered on the road to WrestleMania. While I would've preferred a better handling of Roman Reigns in the Rumble (without question, he came out of it less over than he went in), seeing Lesnar actually exact some revenge on the Wyatts before he headed to the back, and Becky Lynch losing to something other than Ric Flair's jacket, these are nit-picky minor details on an otherwise very solid show.

FINAL RATING - Watch It All