Go Home RAW! - March 28th, 2016

WWE Monday Night RAW

March 28th, 2016 - Brooklyn, NY

- The "Go Home" edition of Monday Night RAW, the final episode before WrestleMania 32, kicks off with a familiar gong strike heralding the arrival of the almighty Undertaker. Cole and JBL hype his match on Sunday - a Hell in a Cell battle against Shane McMahon. The key stipulation is that if Taker loses, he will never compete at a WrestleMania again (boo!) and Shane McMahon will take control of the WWE (yay!). A loud Undertaker chant breaks out as the Deadman grabs a microphone and informs the crowd that this WrestleMania will not be his last. By the way, after Sunday, 3-out-of-10 of Undertaker's last televised matches will have been Hell in a Cell matches - way to try to stay safe, Phenom. Shane McMahon comes out, gets called a "bitch boy," and makes his way to the ring, showing no fear. A "Holy Shit" chant breaks out for no particular reason. McMahon gets in Taker's face and tells him that his legacy died two years ago when he lost to Brock Lesnar (and a "Suplex City" chant breaks out). A fight ensues and they end up brawling on the outside, Shane eventually getting the upperhand with help from a TV monitor. Shane lands a huge elbow drop onto Undertaker through the announce table and what had been a "This is Awesome" chant morphs into a "Holy Shit" chant and then a "You've Still Got It" chant. After Shane makes his way backstage, the Undertaker sits up, enraged.

-#- Very strong opening to RAW. I agree with Jim Ross, though, that the WWE World Championship match should headline Mania even if Shane/Taker is the hotter match.

- Chris Jericho vs. Zack Ryder was next. Before the match could begin, AJ Styles showed up to taunt Y2J and challenge him (again) for WrestleMania. Just as Jericho is about to lock in the Walls of Jericho, AJ starts a "Y-2-Jackass" chant, allowing Ryder to roll him up for the victory. Nothing match. After throwing a temper tantrum, Jericho finally agrees to the match, adding that this his twelfth Mania.

-#- Decent segment, but it probably should've happened two weeks earlier. Considering how long they have built up this rivalry, it makes sense for it to cap off at WrestleMania, but by this point, I would've also liked to see some sort of stipulation in play. I'm not sure what Jericho's "signature match" is, but what differentiates this bout from the one they had at Fast Lane? From RAW in January? From SmackDown in February?

- After a commercial break, we got Becky Lynch vs. Divas Champion Charlotte (with Sasha Banks at ringside), a sneak preview at WrestleMania's triple threat title match between the three NXT grads. I was a big fan of their match at Royal Rumble in January (I gave it 3-and-a-half stars), but this one was designed to promote a future match, not to stand on its own. After some interference from Ric, Charlotte wins with the Natural Selection. Short but sweet TV match.

-#- For whatever reason, Sasha was kept off commentary, a questionable decision when, in the past, Banks has come off as pretty sharp on the mic. If Banks/Lynch/Charlotte gets time, it could be a sleeper for MOTN on Sunday.

- Vince McMahon is backstage. He says is unsurprised by Shane's actions as he knows that Shane doesn't just want "the yard" or "the house" - he wants the whole WWE Universe. Shane McMahon steps up to his old man and tells him that, after Sunday, he's going to control Monday Night RAW, stealing the company from him the way he stole the company from his father.

- In a match designed to hype the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, we get the Social Outcasts (Curtis Axel, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, and Adam Rose) taking on last year's battle royal winner (and former WWE Tag Team Champions in 06', I think) Big Show and Kane. Within a minute, a whole slew of other wrestlers ran in, turning this match into a huge brawl and ending with Kane and Show hitting a double-chokeslam on Mark Henry and then taking out the Social Outcasts. I wanted to fast forward through this segment, but it was so quick I didn't need to.

- After a series of ads, WWE World Champion Triple H and Stephanie McMahon arrive on the scene. Stephanie gets heel heat, but she's been an afterthought in this entire feud and, by getting edited out of the Vince/Shane build, isn't even necessary at this point. The story going into HHH/Reigns is really all about Roman Reigns and his popularity, not about if he'll win the title, but about how he can win it when it's obvious he's not nearly as over as a top babyface should be. Triple H proceeds to cut an elaborately boring promo, tearing down Reigns and gloating about how he is the most successful WWE Superstar in history, a 14-time WWE Champion. Good god did this thing go long. One gets the feeling that, if halfway through the promo, any babyface other than Roman Reigns came out, they would get mega-pops...but instead, Reigns shows up, gets a mixed reaction, and a brawl ensues, the crowd booing when Triple H retreated.

-#- Talk about a terrible segment. Triple H blabbered on endlessly and then Reigns showed up for about 45 seconds of airtime. It is going to be hard to build your brand around a guy that can only be shown on screen for one 180th of your programming without the audience turning against him.

- WWE World Tag Team Champions, The New Day, came out next as Kofi Kingston got ready to take on the League of Nation's Alberto Del Rio. I would be genuinely surprised if Del Rio sticks around after this latest contract, unless of course he's making the kind of money where one doesn't even need self-respect to get them through the day anymore. After Kingston gets the W, Jonathan "The Coach" Coachman of ESPN shows up and announces that SportsCenter will be filming at WrestleMania. I'm not sure who gets excited about these things.

-#- Remember when Del Rio came back and people thought it would mean something? If this match was any indicator, the League of Nations/New Day match at Mania is going to be a heatless one.

- Roman Reigns is backstage and he gets heckled by the Dudleys. I guess this is a continuation of a storyline that happened on SmackDown, but as I don't watch that show regularly, it made little sense to me. Triple H then shows up to help them beat down the number one contender to the WWE Title.

- United States Champion Kalisto vs. Konnor was next. Kalisto is facing Ryback on Sunday in what has to be one of the biggest head-scratchers on the card when you consider that guys like Owens, Zayn, and WrestleMania 27 main eventer, The Miz, were bundled together in a clusterfuck multi-man. Nice to see Kalisto get a clean win here as champions should routinely do that in both title and non-title matches to establish why they're champion. Ryback shows up in the post-match and we get a staredown followed by Ryback doing his "Feed Me More" chant, which seems counterproductive if he's a heel now and should be trying to get heat, not cheers.

- Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman make their way down the aisle. We get a video clip of what happened on SmackDown, Lesnar taking out the Wyatt Family and then doing the same to his WrestleMania opponent Dean Ambrose with a kendo stick. Paul Heyman proceeds to cut the best promo of the night, the kind of serious, passionate, hang-on-every-word speech that Triple H dreams he could do, that the New Day are too goofy to pull off, that the Undertaker could never muster in his emotionless Deadman drone. Dean Ambrose shows up with a red wagon and fills it up with weapons he finds stashed around and under the ring but we don't get any physicality.

-#- I actually thought this was kind of a clever segment, but am not sure it was the best one to "go home" with.

- Stop, Diva Time. My favorite part of this was Emma's entrance music. The Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Natalya, and a Mystery Talent) will be taking on Emma, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, and Naomi on Sunday. Of course, Naomi has been heavily featured on Total Divas in the past, so, continuity doesn't seem to matter. Emma took on Paige tonight, though, a match that would've met something at some point, but Paige has been in the WWE's basement forever now and Emma, despite being one of the best performers on NXT this year, is a relative unknown. The crowd did not care one bit about this even as Emma and Paige actually showed off some solid sequences, putting together a better 4-minute match than any of the men did tonight. As the Total Divas get beaten down, Eva Marie makes the save, drawing the loudest boos I've heard a woman get since Vickie Guerrero left. It seems Eva will be the mystery partner, though, I'm not sure why they'd book things that way when she is clearly best utilized as a heat-seeking heel and potential valet for a more talented performer that has trouble drawing heat (maybe Ryback?).

-#- On a show filled with matches I'm not looking forward to, the 5-diva tag match will be the most  skippable of all on Sunday.

- Goldust and Booker T are backstage and they do something inconsequential.

- 6 out of the 7 entrants on Sunday's Intercontinental Ladder Match competed next: The Miz, Kevin Owens, and Stardust taking on Sami Zayn, Dolph Ziggler, and Sin Cara next (Zack Ryder wrestled earlier in the night). A loud "Ole!" chant started things off, the crowd obviously in support of Sami Zayn as he stepped in against The Miz. Cut to a commercial and the crowd is shitting on the match, "having fun" as JBL puts it but really just trying to amuse themselves because they're not interested in the match, at times chanting "JBL," "CM Punk," "RVD," and a variety of things I could not make sense of. Predictable but well-executed finishing stretch where everyone landed their signature spot. The best match of the night, but also the most confusing due to the crowd's chanting.

-#- I'm such a Miz mark. While everyone else sees money in Zayn/Owens based on their history, I'd love to see The Miz and Owens or The Miz and Zayn have an extended feud first.

- And Triple H is back out. Him and Stephanie talk about something or other, but by this point, I've tuned out. Roman Reigns shows up, a brawl ensues, and the locker room takes part in a pull apart considerably less heated and interesting than the one Brock Lesnar and Undertaker had last year. As the go home scene to your biggest pay-per-view of the year, this was uncreative and lackluster, the crowd popping at certain times but nowhere near as hot as they were for the opening segment.


I don't typically do predictions for approaching pay-per-views, but I'll go ahead and give one for this Sunday's WrestleMania 32: It will suck way less than the build would have you think, but will not be an all-time great show.

WWE Survivor Series 89'

DISCLAIMER - I will readily admit to not being a fan of Survivors matches. I will also admit that this may be because I didn't grow up on the "real" Survivor Series PPV...series. I grew up on Survivor Series shows post-91' - events that were might have featured a Survivors match here or there, but were largely built around attraction matches (namely Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan at Survivor Series 91', Big Bossman vs. arch nemesis Nailz the next year, and obviously Michaels/Hart in 97'). 

The Survivor Series was never about Survivors matches to me. 

Now, I wasn't ignorant of the fact that the early incarnations of the show featured this match type - I just didn't really care for the concept. 4-on-4 matches based on elimination rules? 4-5 of em' per 3-hour show? I could do the math and I figured these shows would be filled with lengthy, repetitive, formulaic action. No titles on the line meant no real significance too. As a kid, I passed on these when I saw em' on the video store. No, thanks, I'll just rent WrestleMania VII for the twentieth time, please.  Or, more realistically, pop in the VHS copy I dubbed from CableVision. 

And, so, if you're one of those people who absolutely love Survivor Series matches, you'll likely be disappointed in my review. You'll argue that I don't "get it." I don't know what there is to get, but I went into this show with as open a mind as I could finagle. 

Survivor Series 89' - November 1989

Chicago, Illinois

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Hulk Hogan is the WWF World Champion, the Ultimate Warrior holds the Intercontinental Championships, and Demolition are the WWF World Tag Team Champions.

COMMENTATORS: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Survivor Series 89' starts off with a promo from Hulk Hogan, running down the list of things he's thankful for. This is followed by words from Ted DiBiase, Jake Roberts, Demolition, Randy Savage, Hacksaw Duggan, Dino Bravo and Earthquake, Dusty Rhodes, Bossman, Beefcake, Rick "The Model" Martel, Rick Rude, Piper, The Genius, Mr. Perfect, The Bushwackers, The Brain, and, finally, The Ultimate Warrior. Fun opening. (+1)

Big Bossman, Rick Martel, Bad News Brown, and Honky Tonk Man make their way down the aisle to the awesome sounds of Slick's theme music (one of my favorites of the 80s). Their opponents are "The Dream Team" of Brutus Beefcake, The Red Rooster, Tito Santana, and, getting his own special entrance, "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes. Santana and Honky start things off, but Martel comes in quickly to work on his former tag partner. The crowd pops huge when Dusty Rhodes come in and squares off against a fresh Big Bossman and gives an equally respectable pop for Brutus Beefcake's tag in. Terry Taylor comes in for a spell, but the first pinfall comes when Martel eliminates the future El Matador. Down 4-on-3, Dusty Rhodes comes in, landing some big strikes and a dropkick (to the amazement of Ventura). Beefcake and Taylor get tagged in and Martel is in all sorts of trouble until he makes the tag and Bossman comes in. Bossman locks in a bearhug, but can't put the Rooster out, and Bad News comes in for the first time. Taylor makes everything Bad News does look great, though, but a miscommunication leads to conflict among the heels, Bad News storming off in disgust. Beefcake scores the next pinfall, hitting a high knee to eliminate Honky Tonk (trivia fact: the high knee would become Beefcake's finisher when he became the Booty Man in WCW). Martel comes in and slows things down, bringing Beefcake to the mat with a snug headlock. After trying to cheat his way to a victory, Martel falls prey to a roll-up and things are now 3-on-1 in favor of the faces. Rooster eats a Bossman Slam to make things 2-on-1. The Dream steps in, but rapidly makes a tag for Beefcake, using their numbers to take advantage of a tired and beaten down Bossman. A crossbody brings the match to a close, but Bossman and Slick refuse to leave without getting some revenge, cuffing Rhodes to the ring rope and attacking him with his night stick. Beefcake makes the save with his hedge clippers. Not a bad match, but not the first one I'd choose to show someone who (like me) has a bit of a prejudice against Survivor Series matches. At close to 30 minutes, but nothing really exceptional happening, this is an average showcase at best. (2/5)

Big Bossman is interviewed by Sean Mooney in the back. Mooney then sends things over to "Mean" Gene who is standing with the 4x4s, "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin, Bret Hart, Hercules, and team captain Jim Duggan. 

Back in the arena, The Fink introduces the King's Court - Randy "The Macho King" Savage, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Dino Bravo, and Earthqauke. The aforementioned Hart, Duggan, Hercules, and Ron Garvin are their opponents, coming out with no music but a respectable amount of cheers. The good guys play to the crowd to open things up, running the heels off the mat before the referee is finally able to get control of things. Savage and Hercules start things off, Savage tagging out to the Valentine, the muscleman hitting him with a big atomic drop before Bret Hart and Jim Duggan come in to continue their onslaught on The Hammer, targeting his shoulder. Hammer is eventually able to make a tag to Bravo, but it's Earthquake who gets the first pin for his team, crushing Hercules with his finisher. The match continues for awhile with Garvin getting beatdown for awhile before he's able to make a big tag to Hacksaw, who then evens things up by eliminating Valentine. Duggan lands himself in some trouble when Earthquake comes in, tagging out to Garvin, who ends up going toe-to-toe with Dino Bravo. Garvin lays into him with the Garvin Stomp, one of the lamest signature moves I can recall seeing. Savage and Bret come in and the action and excitement ramps up momentarily, though, when Bravo comes back in, the crowd deadens a bit. Garvin is eliminated soon after and things are now 3-on-2 in favor of the villains. Bret and Macho get some minutes in the ring together, but it's a somewhat awkward stretch - Macho gets tied up in the ropes when you'd expect the face to end up in that situation and Hart dominates for the most part (with Savage's offense coming in the form of hope spots). The easy-to-hate Bravo comes in, applies a bearhug to the Hitman, and the crowd rallies behind him in anticipation for a Hacksaw hot tag. Earthquake comes in instead, wearing down Hart with a big choke and elbow drop before Bravo comes back in. A mix-up by the heels allows for Bret to finally make it to his corner and Duggan comes in. For some reason, though, he ends up tagging.a tired Hitman back in moments later, an illogical decision that leads to his elimination and the heels making this a 3-on-1 bout. The crowd starts stomping their feet for Duggan, but it doesn't seem to faze Earthquake. The heels try to bum rush him, but Hacksaw clears them all out, firing up the audience in the process. Earthquake takes control of things as the crowd starts chanting "USA" in support of their hero, who gets hit with a variety of his opponent's signature spots, including an Earthquake elbow drop and Randy Savage double axehandle from the top. Sensational Sherri gets involved too, the finish becoming an overly complicated and, in my opinion, overly protective attempt to keep Duggan looking strong. Despite some solid work out of Hart, Savage, and Quake (three of my favorites), this is another one not worth seeking out. (2/5)

The Genius is welcomed to the show to present a Thanksgiving-themed poem. Like his SummerSlam one, it seems a bit lackluster compared to the ones he typically gave before his matches.

Already in the ring are the heel team for our next match - Ted DiBiase, Zeus, and The Powers of Pain. Soon enough their opponents arrive separately - Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Demolition, and the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Hulk Hogan. The heels get chased out of the ring at the start by Jake's pet snake, Damien, but we also get a staredown between Zeus and Hogan to kick things off. Noticeably absent are any comments about No Holds Barred. The Hulkster and the "Z Gangsta" start things off, shoving each other and exposing kayfabe by having Zeus no sell anything (including several shoulder blocks and a body slam). The crowd cheers on the Hulkster as Zeus chokes him out in the center of the ring, refusing to let up when the referee tries to pull him off and causing himself to get disqualified in one of the dumbest eliminations on the show so far. With Hogan beaten down, DiBiase comes in but, for whatever reason, doesn't immediately go for the cover and instead allows Hogan to get a bit of a second wind and make a tag to Jake Roberts. Demolition come in next, furthering the beatdown on DiBiase and turning the match around entirely. Demolition Ax gets eliminated minutes later due to some nefarious deeds, but the crowd barely reacts, thoroughly uninvested in any of this match since, without Zeus, there doesn't seem to be any real threat to Hogan around. Demolition Smash is eliminated next from a blind tag and big top rope clothesline from the Barbarian. Roberts comes in, the faces now down 3-to-2, but ends up taking a huge amount of punishment for his efforts. The Barbarian misses a splash from the top rope, allowing Hogan to come in and get some offense in, single-handedly taking out the Powers of Pain for a brief spell before getting dropped with a devastating spike piledriver. In a shocking twist, both members of the Powers of Pain are disqualified for their double-team effort, a dubious decision at best. DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Sleeper, but Hogan is saved by Roberts when it seems all is lost. How this is not a DQ on Roberts makes little sense (and Ventura brings it up). DiBiase reapplies the hold, but Hogan breaks it by backing up into the corner. Hogan gets the tag in on Roberts who hits some good-looking offense on DiBiase, the best bumper in the match. Virgil shows up, but gets nailed with a DDT. DiBiase uses the distraction to his benefit by eliminating Roberts milliseconds later, the match coming down to Hogan vs. The Million Dollar Man. As one might predict, Hogan snags the W with his patented leg drop. A great example of "Hogan Was Really A Heel All Along" booking as this "victory" is about as tainted as could be, 3-out-of-4 members of DiBiase's team getting eliminated through shady DQs. I'll give it a half-point for DiBiase's outstanding efforts. (0.5/5)

Sean Mooney is in the back with "The Macho King" and Zeus to hype up the No Holds Barred pay-per-view special. He sends things over to "Mean" Gene who is standing with Brutus Beefcake and a sweat-covered Hulk Hogan. I wonder how many people actually purchased that show. Sherri shows up, throws some powder in Hogan and Beefcake's faces, and the heroes get beaten down by the heels.

Vince McMahon's booming voice hypes up the remaining two Survivor Series matches, which makes some sense because most would think the show was over now that Hogan had wrestled. I'm guessing even Hogan's biggest fan knew that the crowd was going to leave happier if they actually got to see a halfway decent wrestling match before they went home.

Sean Mooney is in the back with "Ravishing" Rick Rude and his squadron. Rude and Hennig are awesome, but even more awesome are Rude's tights.

It's time for our next bout - Rude's Brood vs. Roddy's Rowdies - Mr. Perfect, The Fabulous Rougeaus, and Rick Rude taking on Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and the Bushwhackers. Perfect start things off for his team, finding himself the whipping boy for all four members of the opposing team before tagging in a hesitant Jacques Rougeau. Between Hennig's selling and Rougeau's schtick, this is already considerably better than the laborious previous match. Snuka lands his splash from the top and Jacques is out, quickly replaced by Rude. The noticeably quicker tags and greater abundance of high spots really helps keep this one moving, my biggest gripe about the previous three matches being just how slow-paced they were even early on. Piper, far from a great mat worker, really does well in this setting too, getting the crowd into a frenzy and even pulling off an elimination via a piledriver on Ray Rougeau. With the heels down 4-2, Perfect tries to slow down their momentum, wearing down Hot Rod with a front headlock. Meanwhile, Rude does a nice job of "working the corner" as Steve Austin would call it. Bushwhacker Butch comes in, but can't put away Perfect either. Luke gets tagged in and has no more luck than his tag partner. Piper gets a huge pop by imitating Rude, but when Butch tries a taunt of his own, Perfect rolls him up. Piper comes in and attempts his own roll-up, but Perfect is too resilient. After taking a heck of a beating, Hennig is able to make the tag and Rude comes in, taking some offense from Luke before knocking him out with the Rude Awakening and evening things up. Good spot with Snuka kicking out of a Perfect pinfall attempt and Hennig hopping all the way onto the ref's back. The rest of the match isn't flawless, but it tells a strong story and offers far more dynamic and intense action (as well as the continued excellence of Perfect here) than any of the matches that came before it. I'm not a huge fan of Survivors matches (as this review is no doubt making clear), but this is one I'd definitely watch again. (3.5/5)

Good heel promo from Rude's Brood. Absolutely awesome interview from the Ultimate Warrior's team next. My god, Warrior is absolutely insane here. I'm not sure I understood a single word he said until the last two words (when he said his name). (+1)

The Heenan Family is already in the ring - Andre The Giant, Haku, Arn Anderson, and...Bobby "The Brain" Heenan himself. The story goes that Tully Blanchard failed a drug test the day of the show, which is why he was pulled out in the last minute. As for the match...Before Warrior can make his entrance, the heels beat up on the faces. Warrior explodes into the ring (without music) and clotheslines Andre out of the ring, the crowd going bonkers for him. Andre is then counted out, this match basically ending before it even starts. Anderson comes in for his team and goes back and forth with Neidhart. On the outside, Andre gets hit with some additional boots and stomps by Warrior as he leaves the arena, irritating the hell out of Ventura. Neidhart gets eliminated next, followed by Haku and then Marty Jannetty, Shawn Michaels and Arn Anderson especially getting some time to showcase their talent. The appeal of this one to modern viewers will certainly be the final 10 minutes or so, a rare opportunity to see the Heartbreak Kid, Enforcer, and Ultimate Warrior all sharing the ring at the same time. Bobby Heenan gets trounced in the end to wrap up a match that doesn't offer the quality action that the previous one did, but was considerably more fun than the other "main event" battle starring Hogan and Zeus (thanks to Heenan's bumping, Warrior's energy, and Arn Anderson injecting the match with some subtle character work that tells a much more interesting story than one would expect). (2.5/5)



With a surprisingly not woeful 2.5-out-of-5 on my ol' watchability scale, Survivor Series 89' actually earned an identical score as SummerSlam 89' and higher than the InVasion show. Color me surprised. What helped things were the fun video opening, interview segments out of a peak-era Ultimate Warrior, and the fact that the heels of the era, namely Rick Rude, Mr. Perfect, Arn Anderson, and Ted DiBiase are such pros that they carry their matches to being watchable (at least for stretches if not their entirety). On the negative side, Hulk Hogan not only looks out of place in the midcard, but out of ideas on how to maintain the crowd's interest without embarrassing himself and others. Randy Savage, one of my all-time faves, blends into his surroundings in a bout that needed more of him. With only 5 matches, the bouts go considerably longer than they have any need to and the fact that there is not a single match that deviates from the Survivors stipulation makes things awfully repetitive. Recommended to only fans who already know they like this sort of thing.

FINAL RATING -  High Risk Maneuver

WCW Great American Bash 97'

The Great American Bash 97' - June 1997

Moline, Illinois

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Hulk Hogan is the WCW World Champion at this time, but does not defend the title (or even appear on the show). The United States Champion is Jeff Jarrett, but he also does not defend his title on the card. Nor does WCW TV Champion Steven Regal. Or Cruiserweight Champion Syxx. The WCW World Tag Team Champions, the Outsiders do, though. As does WCW Women's World Champion Akiro Hokuto. 

COMMENTATORS: Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan, and Tony Schiavone

The show kicks off with an awesomely cheesy video juxtaposing great American things with great WCW wrestlers. What I really like about these stage-setting videos is that they're corny, but unknowingly so - this is not "tongue-in-cheek" meta-humor, this is WCW's cruddy graphic department and copy writers legitimately trying to tie patriotism into a DDP/Savage feud. Unlike WWE, who go all out to make this connection, WCW does it so half-handedly that it is a sight to behold every time (for another example, check out any time Maxx Payne kicked off a 94' pay-per-view by ripping the Star-Spangled Banner on a Flying V). (+1)

Ultimo Dragon vs. Psicosis in a Respect Match is our opening contest. Psychosis is excellent here and the crowd is, surprisingly, very hot for this match, but this one could be Exhibit A as to why Ultimo Dragon is considered by some to be one of the most overrated talents of the 90s. At seemingly every turn Dragon does something to expose the match, positioning himself for spots that, while tremendous (Psicosis hits a plancha over the ring post that might be one of the coolest moves I've ever seen), come off as glaringly choreographed due to Dragon's annoying tendency to pause, brace himself, and take the move like a boxer's punching bag. On the plus side, Psicosis' heeling is a breath of fresh air and shows that there was real potential for him as a character beyond just being an opening match, spot fest worker. With some awesome moments, but too many spots blown by Dragon blatantly positioning himself for the next one, it's hard to recommend what would otherwise be an excellent contest. Towards the end, even Schiavone has to try to cover Dragon's ass for anticipating the finish. Disappointing. (2/5)

The Steiner Brothers challenge The Harlem Heat next in what is a battle to be named the Number One Contenders to the Outsiders' World Tag Team Championships. Stevie Ray and Scott Steiner start things off and it's interesting to see how much more willing the Steiners were here to sell and bump for the Heat than they seemed to do a few years prior. Again, the crowd is surprisingly hot for this, even once Rick Steiner starts getting beaten down and the Brothers Huffman take over on offense (usually cause for the audience to get pretty bored pretty quickly). While far from a great match, all four men work hard and bring a level of intensity to the match that makes things matter more than they would on paper. A screwy non-finish deflates the crowd, but at least points to a future series of matches for both teams (even if I'm not super excited about what those matches would be). As good a match as one could've wanted or expected out of these two teams. (2.5/5)

A grudge match follows, Konnan taking on his former stablemate and tag team partner, Hugh Morrus. The match starts off solid, but the longer it goes, the slower it gets, with Konnan and Morrus spending more and more time on the mat. Konnan's submission skills are respectable - the way he transitions from a headscissors to an arm bar and the extra twist he adds to it by pulling Morrus' hair and stomping him in the face are nice touches. Unfortunately, they're not enough to hide the fact that Konnan and Morrus are completely gassed by the end of the match and have lost the crowd's interest. Not a total dud, but not far from it. (1.5/5)

"Mean" Gene Okerlund is joined at the stage by Public Enemy, who are (thankfully) not booked on tonight's show. Public Enemy take umbrage with the fact that Harlem Heat have been named the number one contenders to the WCW Tag Team Championships. 

Mike Tenay is back at the desk for our next contest - Wrath (accompanied by James Vandenburg and Mortis, who will be handcuffed at ringside) taking on Glacier. I was a big fan of the Glacier/Mortis match from a few months back, Mortis showing off an impressive array of offense, but I was less hopeful about what we'd get in this one. Wrath loses control of things early on, Glacier using his martial arts strikes to get him onto the arena floor where the brawl continues. Glacier is able to whip Wrath into the stairs, but it's an ugly, awkward spot (and not in the good sense) due to Wrath's size as he essentially has to drop to his knees to shoulder block it. Back in the ring, Glacier continues on offense, but ends up in the corner where Mortis is chained and gets distracted, allowing Wrath to hit him with a powerbomb-into-a-throat-first drop on the top rope (that Tenay bizarrely refers to as a "steel cable"). Wrath dominates for the next stretch and connects with an impressive somersault off the apron as well as a respectable lariat off the top rope. When Wrath misses on an elbow drop, Glacier is able to get some offense in, but is ultimately cut off by a big side suplex. After a big superplex spot, Glacier gets distracted by Mortis again, allowing Wrath to hit a back suplex, the match stretching well beyond the time frame I thought it would. Mortis tosses a chain in, but it ends up landing closer to the babyface, who uses it to knock out Wrath. Vandenburg grabs the keys out of Nick Patrick's pants and Mortis is freed from his cuffs. The post-match scene is well-executed and comes across as more vicious than one would think, especially considering the lack of blood. It also garners a fair amount of heat from the crowd, proving that as much as the Glacier gimmick is laughed at 20 years later, it is not as if it was a black hole of indifference - as a midcard act, it worked for at least a little while. (2.5/5)

Akira Hokuto defends the WCW Womens' Championship next against Madusa, who is putting her career on the line here. Hokuto hits her with a stiff slap to the face to kick things off, then begins with the hair tosses. Hokuto's viciousness is excellent and, again, the crowd is noticeably more alive for this than most of the audiences had been at previous shows. Hokuto lands a devastating piledriver, thoroughly dominating the 1988 PWI Rookie of the Year. Madusa bounces back, though, connecting with a pair of missile dropkicks and hitting Hokuto with jabs in the corner. Moments later, Hokuto is back on offense, landing a textbook snap suplex. Madusa won't stay down, even after Hokuto starts targeting the American's damaged knee, applying a perfect surfboard after an even more purposeful kneebreaker. Remarkably, Madusa is able to withstand the pain and even hit Hokuto with a powerbomb, all the while selling the knee damage. Hokuto takes control again with a superplex and an ankle submission, Madusa desperately working to get to the ropes. After Hokuto misses a dropkick from the top, Madusa nails a german suplex, but Sonny Onoo's interference on the outside keeps her from scoring a pinfall. Hokuto continues attacking Madusa's knee, going as far as to stand on the thing using the ropes for leverage. Minutes later, Hokuto lands a devastating brainbuster and, in a genuine shocker, Madusa's career comes to an end. If this is not the best Madusa match ever, it's really close, her valiant effort and selling lifting this match beyond any of the prior bouts I'd seen out of her. The emotional post-match ending is marred a bit by an unnecessary afterword where "Mean" Gene shows up to get a word out of Madusa as she tries to walk to the back. (4/5)

The night's Return Death Match is next - Chris Benoit taking on Meng in a rematch from Slamboree.  As Meng is getting some final words of advice from Jimmy Hart, Benoit comes flying out of the ring with a plancha through the middle rope. Benoit stomps on him on the outside, rolls him back into the ring, and hits a headbutt from the top, attempting to end the match quickly with the crossface. Meng, in a considerable show of strength, lifts Benoit up and places him on the top rope, tossing him across the ring. Benoit ain't out of gas yet, though, putting Meng back on the mat and reapplying the crossface the first chance he gets. Meng is too tough, though, fighting his way to the ropes and knocking out the Crippler with a big kick to the side of the head. Benoit uses his speed and agility to stay in the fight, but Meng, the powerful veteran, is eventually able to take control via a nasty back kick to the face in the corner. After a brilliant flurry of attacks from Benoit in the early going, Meng slows things down, hitting the Crippler with a bodyslam and then crushing him with a huge splash from the top rope. Benoit gets up at the count of 8 and is immediately dropped back to the mat with a superkick. Benoit rolls to the outside and, in a show of desperation, has to rely on the guardrail to help him gain the upperhand against Meng. Back in the ring, Benoit hits a german suplex, but Meng is only out for 7. Benoit follows it up with yet another vicious german suplex, again knocking Meng out for 7. After trading some blows in the middle of the ring, Meng locks in the Tongan Death Grip, but Benoit gets out of it by slipping outside the ring. Miraculously, Benoit shows some life, coming at Meng with chops and strikes, but can't sustain the energy for very long, falling prey to a headlock and yet another mule kick to the skull. The fight continues with both guys trying their best to put their opponent out of commission via their finishing maneuvers, the commentators doing a nice job of showing their amazement at how much punishment Benoit has taken, noting that this is how desperate he is to get his hands on Kevin Sullivan again. Benoit locks in the Crossface for the fourth of fifth time in the match and Meng, after what seems like an eternity, is finally downed for good. A great story that gets over the toughness and ability of both men and, maybe most importantly, puts over a younger talent that was deserving of a push. The biggest knock against it might be that it didn't really live up to the brutality one would expect out of a "death match." Extra half-point for the post-match scene, futher putting over Benoit and establishing that there is a new Toughest Guy Around in WCW. This is how you pass a torch. (4/5)

If you were to tell me that Mongo McMichaels vs. Kevin Greene was a better match than just about any featuring Psicosis, I wouldn't believe you - but Great American Bash 97' offers proof of it. From the very start, Greene is completely pumped up about this one and, because the commentary team hasn't spent all night hyping it, the match comes across as an undersold attraction match that deserved more of a spotlight than it got. Mongo is one of my least favorite workers, but whoever helped him and Greene put together this match did a phenomenal job of presenting a match that accentuated the positives (keeping things high-energy by focusing on big impact offense and fun diversions like involvement from Greene's mom) and limited anything that would've bogged things down or bored the crowd (restholds, an overly complicated finishing sequence). With help from the commentators, who do a nice job of highlighting the fact that this match actually has history dating back to even before the previous month's Slamboree (remember, it was the turn on Kevin Greene at the last year's Bash At The Beach that led Mongo to becoming a Horseman), Jeff Jarrett, and a producer who wisely keeps things under 10 minutes, the audience is treated to a perfectly acceptable match-up between two relatively inexperienced but undeniably gifted and amped-up athletes. (3.5/5)

Backstage, Madusa is getting her knee worked on by a WCW physician. Schiavone notes, "I know her career is over, but that'll put you out for months." Not sure what the purpose of the segment was.

The nWo is here - The Outsiders, with Syxx in tow, arriving to defend their WCW World Tag Team Championships against Roddy Piper and Ric Flair. Flair gets the stuffing beaten out of him early on as the Outsiders gloat, eventually costing themselves a sure victory by allowing Flair to hit a low blow and make the hot tag to Piper. Piper is able to lock in a sleeper on Hall, but on the outside, Flair and Syxx start brawling and end up backstage, turning this match into an unfortunate 2-on-1 situation. Piper fights valiantly, but the numbers game can not be denied, Hall and Nash not even bothering to tag eachother in as they dismantle the Rowdy Scot. Barely a match, you at least get to see an Outsider's Edge. Still, considering the war that these two teams might've been able to put together (especially if Piper and Flair were in their prime), this is not worth the short amount of time it takes to watch. (1/5)

Main event time - Diamond Dallas Page vs. Randy Savage in a Falls Count Anywhere match. I adored their match at Spring Stampede, but with Savage, you never quite know what you'll get - he's always entertaining, but he's not always perfect, a guy that, like Hulk Hogan, has been involved in just as many all-time terrible matches as all-time great ones. Savage comes out first, but it's Page who gets the first shots in, sneaking into the ring from the crowd and jumping Savage from behind. Page goes for the Diamond Cutter early, but Savage sneaks out, only to get hit with a huge crossbody over the top that ends up costing Page (and his injured ribs) just as much as it knocks Savage out. From here, we get all sorts of cool (but admittedly cartoonish) weapon spots, Savage going ape on some poor members of WCW's staff, and a variety of cool visuals and sequences that make this match, while not as good wrestling-wise or even story-wise as their Spring Stampede match, still one of the funnest 15 minutes of action I've seen in a long time. Earlier this week I reviewed Undertaker and Lesnar's first Hell in a Cell match from No Mercy 2002, and while I enjoyed that bloodbath in all its gory glory, I almost enjoyed this one more for keeping things PG but still coming across as a highly personal, highly dangerous encounter. I won't give this one the same accolades as the Lesnar/UT (a bona fide MOTYC in its day), but this is definitely a must-see watch for anyone who likes Randy Savage. The Madness runs wild in this match and it's a pleasure to watch. (4/5)

Plenty of shows have earned scores in the 2.8-2.9 range: Fall Brawl 94', Hog Wild 96', Hell in a Cell 2015, WrestleMania XVIII, so Great American Bash 97' earning a "watchability" score of 2.89 is not going to help anyone decide whether or not this show is worth checking out. As mentioned in the Championship Rundown, this is not a card to watch for any significant title matches. It's not a card to watch for any particularly legendary match or segment (if you're looking for those, the previous year's Great American Bash has a few of them). No, what this card offers is a showcase of some of the more underappreciated elements of WCW that revisionists tend to overlook when they lazily claim that the company's only shining stars were Hogan, Sting, and underutilized talent like Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho (none of whom are on the card). In this show we get one of the best and most emotional women's matches I've ever seen in Madusa/Hokuto, an intense slugfest between two of the toughest workers ever in Benoit vs. Meng, some surprisingly strong work out of Mongo McMichaels and Kevin Greene, and an incredibly fun main event in Page vs. DDP. While this show ain't perfect (Morrus/Konnan and Steiners/Harlem Heat are average at best), it's not a slog to get through either thanks to one of the more watchable second-halfs I've watched on my quest through WCW in the 90s.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

WWE No Mercy 2002

WWE No Mercy 2002 - October 2002

North Little Rock, Arkansas

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Brock Lesnar is the WWE's Undisputed World Champion coming into the show, Triple H holds the less prestigious World Heavyweight Championship, Kane is the Intercontinental Champion, and Jamie Noble is the Cruiserweight Champion. The newly-created WWE Tag Team Championship will be contested tonight in the finals of a tournament, while the World Tag Team Championships are held by RAW's Christian and Chris Jericho. The Womens' Champion is Trish Stratus.

COMMENTATORS: Michael Cole and Tazz (SmackDown), Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross (RAW)

Backstage, Kane and the Undertaker start the show with a bit of comedy, Kane asking the Deadman, "So, how was your weekend?" and getting a weird look from the Phenom.

Cut to a video promo hyping tonight's Triple H/Kane match, built on the notorious Katie Vick angle where the Big Red Machine was painted as a murderer. Considered the low watermark for WWE Creative, the storyline, dubbed "The Necrophilia Angle," is fortunately swiped over pretty quickly before the video package transitions to hyping the show's true main event, Taker vs. Lesnar in a Hell in a Cell match.

Chris Jericho and Christian defend their WWE World Tag Team Championships against Booker T and Goldust in the opening contest. Jericho and Christian are natural tag partners, wisely using any trickery they can to cut the ring in half and keep Goldust from making the hot tag to Booker T. The crowd is firmly behind the face camp, which adds some pep to the match and makes the nearfalls matter. Not a great match, but at least a little bit of fun due to the unexpected ring break towards the end that forced the teams to improvise a bit. (2.5/5)

At the previous show, Unforgiven 2002, I criticized the WWE for the shameless HLA storyline, but what they ran with the next month was no better - the deplorable Al Wilson/Dawn Marie angle, in which Dawn Marie attempted to seduce Torrie Wilson's real-life father. Thus, we get to our next match - Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson. Surprisingly, Wilson and Marie put together a solid match. The crowd is engaged and there are actual at least 300% more wrestling moves than I expected to see, including a snap suplex out of Torrie Wilson and some decent submissions by Dawn Marie. While this one isn't without it's awkward pauses, one must give some credit to these two for delivering a match that went beyond the usual hairtoss and Lou Thesz presses of the era. (2/5)

Backstage, Jonathan Coachman speaks with Rob Van Dam about his upcoming match with Ric Flair. As RVD walks off, The Coach tries to catch a word with the heels passing him by - Paul Heyman, Brock Lesnar, and Tracy Dali, who had revealed on SmackDown that she'd had an extramarital affair with the Undertaker. The Coach is brushed off, though, and we head back to the ring.

Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam was next, this match coming together based on Flair screwing Van Dam in his World Heavyweight Championship match against Ric Flair at Unforgiven. Despite their considerable differences in style, they show some decent chemistry at times, Flair seeming eager to prove that he can keep up with RVD's speed and stiffness. While far from a classic, the match does deliver a satisfying clean finish and doesn't needlessly overstay its welcome or rely on blood and table spots to keep the crowd engaged. (3/5)

Backstage, the Big Show complains to Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff how he has been kept off PPV since July and is long overdue for a main event match. 

We go to an Enya-soundtracked video package detailing the history of the Intercontinental Championship, which will be getting unified with the World Heavyweight Championship tonight in the Triple H/Kane match. 

Tajiri is up next, challenging Jamie Noble for his Cruiserweight Championship. Had the crowd been more interested in this one, I could see it being a Match of the Night contender. Honestly. There are a number of good sequences, Tajiri's offense really is ahead of its time, and Noble takes great bumps and knows how to draw heel heat with his expressions. Unfortunately, the match just doesn't seem to capture any of the crowd's attention save for a few high-impact spots here and there. While technically superior than Flair/RVD in almost every way, that match at least seemed to matter, which is ironic because this is a title match and the prior bout wasn't. (2.5/5)

Pretty funny backstage segment featuring Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Chavo, and Angle.

A video package prefaces our next contest - the "Winner Takes All" battle Intercontinental Champion Kane and World Heavyweight Champion Triple H. The idea of Kane, who had won the IC strap from Jericho in an emotional contest on RAW weeks prior and was as over as he possibly could've been (he'd only recently returned to TV in September after 5 months gone), challenging the World Heavyweight Champion in his first high-profile crack at the title in well over a year should've sold itself...but Creative couldn't help themselves from tacking on a ridiculous storyline based on Kane murdering his girlfriend. It is important to note, however, that by this point in the feud, it did not yet include that infamous "necrophilia" flavor (that would get added on the next night's RAW), but it was still a dumb story to lead into a match that didn't really need the extra hook. Anywho, the match begins with Kane and Triple H trading blows, Triple H trying to bump his way into this match being worth watching. As things continue, it gets a touch more interesting as we get some ref bumps and all sorts of interference, as well as a special appearance from Triple H's trusty sledgehammer. I prefer the bells-and-whistles in this match over sticking to a straight storyline, but this isn't the best version of that kind of match either. Better than the storyline around it deserved, but ultimately an inessential match. (3.5/5)

Backstage, Stephanie invites Tracy Dali into her office. She tells Ms. McMahon that she had a relationship with the Undertaker (who she refers to as "Mark") in the past, but that Paul Heyman convinced her to say "whatever had to be said to get Mark back." The Deadman appears (via a door, not a plume of smoke), calls her a "lying bitch," and there you have it, the end of the Tracy Dali angle. I'm glad I wasn't watching this in real time. 

For the first time ever, SmackDown gets its own World Tag Team Championships - Edge and Rey Mysterio taking on Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit in the tournament's finals. The build-up to this match was all about "The SmackDown Six," as Los Guerreros were heavily involved in the tournament's final round and the "odd couple" pairing of Angle and Benoit, who arrive first. When the bell rings, Mysterio and Angle start things off, Angle overtaking Rey with his strength and wrestling know-how, demanding that he tag in Edge. Rey refuses to back down, though, outwitting Angle with his quickness and agility, hitting him with a hurricanrana, a drop toe hold, and some slaps before taking a breather out of the ring and letting the frustrated Angle lose his cool in the ring. Edge comes in and, soon after, Benoit steps in for his team. The reversals on display are lightning-fast and snug, Edge holding his own against the far more experienced Crippler. Edge takes control for awhile, but interference from Kurt Angle slows his momentum and allows the heels to start dishing out some punishment of their own. One would've expected Mysterio to be the face-in-peril, but where this match really shines is that it both meets the expectations one would have and also pleasantly subverts them. For example, the amount of "finisher spamming" in the last act would normally turn me off of a match as I find the practice a bit lazy and uncreative these days, but as the nearfalls stacked up, I found myself getting more and more pulled in. In another example of pleasant surprises, the build to this match played up the fact that Angle and Benoit are a solid team, but not necessarily trusting of each other based on their position as rivals over the previous year. In this match, they not only save each other a number of times, but there are some great moments where they show remarkable teamwork, attacking the same area of their opponent, cutting the ring in half, and wrestling with an attention to detail that you wouldn't expect out of two guys who are most known for their work as singles competitors. On the face side of things, when Edge and Mysterio put together their double-team efforts, they are breathtaking and vastly different than anything Edge did with Christian, showing that he might be one of the more underrated tag workers of not only his era, but any. With all four men giving their all, it's hard to find much to criticize about the match, as good a tag bout as I've seen in a long, long time. (4.5/5)

In a segment I can guarantee you wouldn't see in 2016, the Undertaker is backstage demanding that one of the WWE's doctors give him a shot directly into his injured hand so that he can make it through his Hell in a Cell match.

The WWE Women's Championship is on the line next, Trish Stratus defending the strap against Victoria. A "We Want Puppies" chant starts up within the first minute of this match, really showing just how little patience or respect the WWE audience had of the female talent 15 years ago. The action isn't too bad, either, Victoria hitting some respectable moves including a well-executed fireman's carry into the barricade and a follow-up legdrop into the ring. There's a botched monkey flip moments later, but it's not an egregious error and the women recover quickly, especially the more that Victoria takes control as she was obviously the ring general in this one. Unfortunately, the clunky finish (and Trish's offense leading up to it) is a bit harder to overlook in rating the match as it is clear Stratus still had a ways to go towards being the division's ace. (1.5/5)

Michael Cole and Tazz are at the desk, hyping Rikishi's appearance at the WWE's restaurant, The World. They air a clip of Rikishi getting tossed off the cage at Armageddon two years earlier, one of the more overlooked "craziest spots ever" in WWE history. Rikishi predicts that the Undertaker will be victories tonight as the match stipulation favors the Deadman.

Main event time - Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell with the Undisputed World Championship on the line. Early on, Lesnar shows some of his inexperience, trying to outwrestle Taker but not utilizing the cage for his benefit. The wise veteran, though, turns the tables and immediately starts taking advantage of everything he can - including using the cast on his right hand, busting Lesnar open. Meanwhile, on the outside, Heyman gives himself laryngitis, doing some masterful manager work well before he was getting called a top 5 greatest manager of all time. The action from here is just awesome - Undertaker tossing Lesnar to and fro on the outside, hitting him with a perfect guillotine legdrop on the apron and following it up with a huge knee from the top rope, and Paul Heyman getting lacerated from a big boot and getting pulled face-first into the steel wall by his necktie repeatedly. When Lesnar takes over, things get even better, the Beast turning a corner mid-match by starting to embrace the brutality of his surroundings, attacking the Phenom's injured right hand with some violent chair shots. Lesnar is relentless in his attack on Taker's damaged right hand and the injury is sold well for the remainder of the match, too, a touch that is too often lacking in the epics of today. Lesnar's dominance of Taker is incredible - not only because of the Deadman's mythos, but because of how effortlessly and easy it comes across, as if Lesnar himself didn't know what he was capable of until he found himself on the Undertaker's home turf. Lesnar finally utilizes the cage, hanging from it to hit some big kicks before ultimately falling prey to a low blow. The fight goes to the outside and the violence amps up even higher, with Lesnar bashing Taker's head in with two staircase blasts. The bladejob Undertaker pulls off here is stomach-churning, more akin to what you'd see in a horror movie than in a pro-wrestling match. The action moves back into the ring and one would expect the finisher-trading to begin, but in this match, everything is earned, both guys pulling out counters in order to deliver what they both know will be the final blow. There's a great nearfall from the Last Ride, but the best spot in a match full of best spots is Lesnar's reversal of the tombstone, a counter he performs swiftly without a single second of readjustment. While one might find a few flaws here and there in this match, including its obvious reliance on extreme gore to raise drama and the fact that at no point does Brock attempt a submission when forcing Taker to submit from the punishment he suffers to his broken hand would make plenty of sense, it is also hard to find a match more gloriously brutal in the WWE canon. (4.5/5)



No Mercy 02' would be the best SmackDown-exclusive pay-per-view ever if it was a Smackdown-exclusive pay-per-view. With a fairly strong score fi 3.00-out-of-5 on the ol' watchability meter, No Mercy offers the best wrestling action WWE would offer on PPV since the stellar SummerSlam show and, prior to that, the last year's No Mercy show (which earned an identical 3.00). While the show starts off a bit slow, things pick up with the first title match, considerably more watchable and entertaining than I would've expected based on my not-so-hidden dislike for Trips and Kane. The second half of the card is nearly perfect, though I would've flipped the women's matches as Wilson/Dawn Marie, with its abbreviated running time and the respectable amount of heat it garners, is shockingly better than the Stratus/Victoria title match. The tag match and Lesnar/Taker cage bout are Match of the Year-caliber efforts, well worth seeking out.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

WWE Roadblock

WWE Roadblock - March 2016

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Triple H holds the WWE World Championship, Kevin Owens is the reigning Intercontinental Champion, Kalisto holds the United States Championship, and Charlotte is the WWE Divas Champion. The New Day are the reigning WWE World Tag Team Champions, while Dash and Dawson, the Revival, are the NXT Tag Team Champions (which I only mention because they defend the titles on the show).

COMMENTATORS: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, and JBL

Unfortunately, unlike the Network special from Japan this past summer, tonight's looks and feels like most other programs the WWE produces. The shows kicks off with The New Day (with their Booty-O cereal) defending the WWE Tag Team Championships against the League of Nations' Sheamus and Wade Barrett. A good-not-great match is had, a bit too by-the-numbers to leave much of an impression beyond the usual "New Day is really fun" and Barrett and Sheamus are pros, but obviously not super enthused about where they have landed on the WWE totem pole. (2/5)

Chris Jericho arrived next to some expected cheers (the show being held in Canada and all), but proceeded to rundown the crowd with a trollish promo. After bashing Toronto and stating that he is embarassed to call himself a Canadian (at one point even telling the crowd, who began chanting for the Hitman, that "Bret was never coming back"), one would expect the WWE to trot out a popular Canadian talent to make him eat his words - but Tyson Kidd's injured, Edge and Christian are retired, and it's no longer the early 2000s (when it felt like you couldn't swing an upside down American flag without hitting a grappler from the Great White North). Instead of opting for the next best thing and having a popular babyface come out - like a Neville or Goldust - they went with the All-American American, Jack Swagger, guaranteeing that the fans would be completely disinterested for the duration of the contest (save for Pavlovian chants of "We The People" whenever Swagger put his hand to his chest). While Jericho and Swagger worked hard, it didn't amount to much. While making this match competitive would, on paper, seem like the right idea not to bury Swagger, having them wrestle a competitive match that goes too long just made it seem like a time-filler. Like the opener, passable but even less important (and the crowd treated it as such). (1.5/5)

Finally, a match in which all the participants seemed energized and eager to steal the show - Dash and Dawson (aka The Revival) defending the NXT Tag Team Championships against Enzo and Big Cass. This isn't the teams' first meeting and I'm not even 100% positive it was their best match, but it was interesting to watch them present this match in front of a crowd not made up of NXT die-hards and they did an excellent job of cleary defining their characters, the importance of the stakes, and the intense heat between the two in a relatively small window of time. Dash and Dawson did a number of little things excellently, particularly Dawson shoulderblocking face-in-peril Enzo out of the ring at one point and dishing out two particularly awesome double-team moves (one on the arena floor, no less). Big Cass may not be the most fundamentally gifted athlete on the NXT roster, but he's solid in his role in the team, coming in to hit the big offense on hot tags. Enzo reminds me of a less cheesy, more watchable Scotty 2 Hotty, which may not seem like a compliment but really is one. Easily the match of the night up to this point and the first one I'd ever want to give a second look to. (3/5)

The WWE Divas Championship was on the line in our next contest, Charlotte defending against Natalya. The match began with some solid mat wrestling, Charlotte and Natalya trading submissions to try to get an early advantage, but the crowd didn't seem to care too much. Things picked up a step once Natalya started landing some more hard-hitting offense, Charlotte showing in her selling why she shouldn't be overlooked as the most important diva on the roster right now. I really liked the pace of the match as well, both women doing something the guys seem hesitant to do - mainly, slowing things down so that the high spots (which weren't over-the-top, "This Is Awesome"-baiting daredevil moves) actually had impact. As the match progressed, Natalya continued to tease the Sharpshooter and showed some real toughness by refusing to lay down or tap to Charlotte's Figure 8, including one particularly good sequence in which Charlotte had the finisher locked on and eventually added some extra punishment by keeping it locked in as she found her way to the outside. This led to a nice nearfall when Charlotte followed it up with her running neckbreaker (I forget what Cole called it). Natalya eventually landed a big powerbomb that may have been performed at half-speed compared to what the male wrestlers do, but had a greater significance because of it. By this point, the crowd was engaged and the requisite "This is Awesome" chant started. I wouldn't necessarily say it reached the level of awesomeness that would make me want to chant that, but giving credit where it's due, this was the most smartly worked singles match of the evening thus far. I would've preferred more interference out of Naitch to lead to the finish, but I did like to see Charlotte get the victory with a cheap pin. These two have great chemistry and I'd love to see them expand the program this summer. To be honest, I'm not sure there is as much of a rush to get Sasha involved when Charlotte is progressing so nicely as a dominant champion who can beat you clean, dirty, or something in between (like in this match). (3.5/5)

Brock Lesnar vs. Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper was next. Wyatt cut a meandering promo to start things off, which helped explain why Luke Harper was involved (noticeably absent were Erick Rowan and Braun Strowman). Lesnar came out to a huge ovation and the match began with Lesnar and Harper coming to blows, Harper landing a nice bit of offense that Lesnar sold well without ever actually looking like he was in much danger. If Harper was more over and credible, I'd love to see these two wrestle a more competitive match, but I'm not surprised that this was essentially a squash once Lesnar took control. Bray Wyatt slunk his way backstage the whole time, refusing to step into the ring against the Beast as he tossed Harper around with suplex after suplex. I usually enjoy the Lesnar squashes a bit more, maybe because they typically seem to matter more. His match in Japan this past summer, for example, came across as funner in that more unique setting, while this one lacked a hook to make it a "must see" bout. Points awarded because of Lesnar's initial selling of Harper's impressive superkicks and clotheslines as well as the Beast's always-impressive suplexes, but I'd call this the least consequential match of his second WWE run. (2/5)

Sami Zayn was up next, taking on Stardust. Like the Swagger/Jericho from earlier, this one was just a bit off, the crowd politely cheering for some of the better moments, but definitely not riveted by the action. I'm a Cody Rhodes fan and, in the right context, I can get behind Stardust to at least some degree, but this was just the wrong match, at the wrong time, in front of the wrong crowd. As much as I like Zayn, this is an unfortunate example of him not quite being as good as his biggest supporters would want the rest of the world to believe. The fact is, while it's a tall order, he didn't elevate this one even to a "TV worthy" level. At close to 15 minutes, this one overstayed its welcome and underwhelmed a crowd that seemed amped to see something more special out of NXT's "Heart and Soul." (1.5/5)

Main event time - Triple H defending the WWE World Championship against Dean Ambrose. For some reason, the Champion entered first, something the WWE has been inexplicably doing lately. I recently completed a ballot ranking the Top 100 Wrestlers Ever at a message board I spend (too much) time on. Now, I kept my list to performers I had seen a considerable amount of footage on - meaning, despite their accolades, I didn't include guys like Bruno Sammartino, Buddy Rogers, or really anyone from the world of puroresu and luche libre. This explains why Triple H and Ambrose both made the list (at #52 and #60 respectively), but it also shows that I'd put 50-60 guys above them in terms of delivering quality matches consistently. They both can be great, but they can also both be grating. Triple H put forth good effort and showed no signs of ring rust, but he also succumbed to his usual and unfortunate habit of trying to deliver an "epic" whereby he shows little vulnerability and doesn't necessarily wrestle with a clear purpose. For example, was he trying to escape with the title here? Was he trying to embarrass Ambrose? Was he trying to prove that he was still the Cerebral Assassin? What effect would it have had to have him bully the ref a little considering that Triple H is essentially the poor sap's boss? Wrestling the match in a "straight-up" fashion added nothing new to either guy's character or momentum heading into WrestleMania. Similarly, Ambrose fought valiantly and did mix it up (by attacking Triple H's leg), but then seemed to go against his own strategy by trying high-risk maneuvers when, in the first half of the bout, it was clear that his purpose was not to necessarily punish The Game, but wrestle the title away from him cleanly. While this lack of purpose didn't make the match unbearable (in fact, it was still above-average), I don't see how anyone would be eager to revisit it. (3.5/5)

With an overall rating of 2.43-out-of-5, it is hard to recommend the wholly inconsequential and generally underwhelming Roadblock to anyone but the most avid WWE viewer. While Roadblock wasn't a pay-per-view, there's no reason it couldn't have hit the same peaks as the NXT show from London earlier this year or Brooklyn last summer. Instead, through some head-scratching booking decisions (having Jack Swagger defend Canada's honor against Jericho, booking Sami Zayn to take on the ice-cold Stardust in his first spotlight match since returning, the false advertising of Wyatt/Lesnar), the show just seemed to hit one pothole (err..roadblock?) after another. While I could understand the live crowd enjoying the show for what it was (a glorified house show), viewers at home were treated to repetitive video packages between matches and little else to keep them glued to their seats. With only the fresh and energetic Natalya/Charlotte match really standing out to me as something worth seeking out, picking out this show's rank was fairly easy...

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver

WWE SummerSlam 89'

 

SummerSlam 89' - August 1989

East Rutherford, New Jersey

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Hulk Hogan is the WWE World Champion, "Ravishing" Rick Rude holds the Intercontinental Championship, and the Brainbusters, Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson, are the reigning WWE World Tag Team Champions.

COMMENTARY: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

After a fairly excellent video package splicing wrestling action with traditional summertime tomfoolery (kids eating ice cream cones, a babe in a bikini), it is time for our opening contest, a non-title clash between The Hart Foundation and the reigning Tag Team Champions, Tully Blancard and Arn Anderson, The Brainbusters. This is a match where the "little things" add up to a sum far greater than the whole, as all four men do a tremendous job of throwing in extra snugness, extra pep, and extra energy to lift this match from being just average to being something significantly above it. From the very first sequence, one can tell that the Harts are coming in guns blazing, Bret working hard to out-wrestle the wily Blanchard and refusing to give his opponents a window to breathe. Referee Joey Marella doesn't take the night off either, cutting off various Brainbuster tags when he's not sure they're on the up-and-up, a nice twist to the formula of heels using trickery to get an advantage. Speaking about twists, unlike a traditional "face-in-peril" tag match, this one is all about showing the dominance of the Hart Foundation, who aren't above bending the rules themselves to maintain their advantage. Bret Hart is the star for his team thanks to the impressive variety of offense he delivers, but Neidhart keeps the momentum going and plays his role well. The real MVPs, though, are Anderson and Tully, bumping like mad, selling a ton, and doing the character work necessary to get over the fact that they are in over their heads against a fired-up face team. I do wish we saw more involvement out of Heenan and the finish seems a little bit lackluster (I would've loved to see the heels utilize something just a touch more sneaky to get the win - maybe a loaded boot?), but there's so much to love about this match that it certainly deserves a watch. (3.5/5)

There are all sorts of tracking issues on this for some reason, making me think maybe the WWE needed to transfer this over from the VHS copy that collected desk at the Flicks Video Rentals I went to as a kid. It kinda makes it funner to watch, though.

After some words from Dusty Rhodes backstage, it's time for him to hit the ring for his match against the Honky Tonk Man. The crowd is pumped for this, counting along with each punch Dusty plants in the corner. Rhodes applies what has to be the laziest ankle hold I've ever seen as the camera zooms in on his polka-dotted rear for some reason. A distraction from Jimmy Hart allows Honky to hit Rhodes with the megaphone behind the ref's back, the crowd's excitement effectively deadened. Honky applies a headlock, giving the Dream an opportunity to raise the crowd's enthusiasm again with his wiggling and calls for fan support. A nice, high impact ref bump wakes the crowd back up and leads to a good, if not unpredictable, ending. Not awful, but certainly nothing to search for. Bonus half-point for Honky's post-match promo and the Sean Mooney appearance. (2/5)

Demolition and "King" Jim Duggan are backstage, ranting and raving about how they plan to take down the incredibly large team of Andre The Giant, Big Boss Man, and Akeem.

The undefeated Mr. Perfect is already in the ring awaiting his challenge tonight, "The Red Rooster" Terry Taylor. Perfect is pretty brilliant here, not only in the execution of his wrestling, but in the way he mocks Taylor, getting over his cocky prick character with taunts and facial expressions every chance he gets. To his credit, Taylor is a very capable foil - jobbing, for sure, but throwing enough personality into it that it makes this more than just a squash match. I would've liked a bit more back and forth, personally. (2/5)

"Mean" Gene is backstage with Rick Rude and Bobby Heenan. I'm a sucker for these two on the mic, but it's just too short a segment to earn a bonus point.

The Rockers and Tito Santana take on The Fabulous Rougeaus and Rick Martel next. The Rougeaus' entrance theme is killer and Ventura calling Santana "Chico" at every opportunity helps this match start with at least a half-point bonus before the bell even rings. Martel and Jacques Rougeau are tremendous here, doing everything you'd want heels to do in a multi-man match, pulling out double-teams behind the ref's back, cutting the ring in half, doing blind tags, taunting their opponents and antagonizing the crowd every time they have the upperhand - and it all comes across so natural. Tito is very good as the face in peril, but his hope spots wouldn't rally the crowd so much if it wasn't for how vicious and calculated the heels' offense is, hitting him with more than a couple maneuvers that teams like The New Day should be cribbing right now. When Shawn Michaels finally gets tagged in, the crowd goes bananas, not so much because it's future Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels, but because they want to see Martel get his comeuppance and Tito has fought so valiantly to reach the corner. Pandemonium ensues in the ring, a surefire sign that the faces will likely get screwed, but there are enough twists and turns in the last 30 seconds that it totally works. Really fun match and, in my opinion, a touch better than the opener. (4/5)

A video package highlights the lengthy rivalry between The Ultimate Warrior and "Ravishing" Rick Rude. It closes off with a clip of Andre The Giant bringing Warrior to his knees on an episode of Superstars. This segues into a very brief promo out of the Warrior that is completely insane. (+1)

The Intercontinental Championship is on the line next, with "Ravishing" Rick Rude defending against The Ultimate Warrior. Rude's intro is always great and he does not disappoint here, revealing an incredible pair of tights featuring the Warrior's face on them. The ovation for the Warrior is tremendous, though, one could argue that they were just hype for Dusty Rhodes and even for the finish of the previous match. What starts as a squash match becomes something great as it continues and Rude, after taking a severe beating, ends up gaining the upperhand. The most praised aspect of this feud has always been Rude's selling, but what is not given enough credit is the clever ways the matches are laid out to keep Rude looking tough and keep Warrior's flaws well hidden. The finish, with its awesome and unexpected run-in, only suffers because the Warrior's finishing maneuver has always been a bit lackluster, an unworthy imitation of Hogan's legdrop. Thoroughly entertaining match that shows just how hot you can get a crowd without having to load up a match with three dozen high spots and just sticking to some basic-but-well-executed staples like piledrivers, a ref bump, and some out-of-the-ring brawling. (4/5)

After a small sampling of promos out of Rude and Heenan, Mr. Perfect, and Hot Rod, as well as a brief intermission, "Mean" Gene welcomes us back to the show and cues up a video package promoting tonight's main event. Excellent video recap showcasing the debut of Zeus and his unholy alliance with Sensational Sherri and "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

6-man tag action is next, Jim Duggan and Demolition vs. The Twin Towers and Andre The Giant. Like so many other bouts on tonight's show, what is a fully unspectacular match is raised by a passionate crowd and equally passionate announcing from Tony Schiavone. This is not a must-see contest by any stretch of the imagination and it certainly isn't a go-to match for fans seeking to understand the draw of Andre the Giant, but it doesn't eat up too much time and the finish keeps the crowd happy without hurting the 8th Wonder's credibility as the heaviest hitter of the bunch. (1.5/5)

Ted DiBiase is in the back to cut a promo about his match against Jimmy Snuka later in the show.

Back in the ring, "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin, who had been banned from wrestling and working as a referee, takes over for the Fink as guest ring announcer. He welcomes Hercules and then verbally bashes his opponent, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine for comedic effect. A wrestling match, but not much of one, ensues, Valentine distracted the whole time by Garvin on the outside of the ring. Nothing much to say about this one, which is passable, but not "PPV worthy." (1/5)

Backstage promo from Sensational Sherri, "Macho Man," and Zeus. 

Back in the ring, Ted DiBiase is awaiting his opponent, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka. Snuka comes in and immediately goes on offense, forcing DiBiase to take a break on the outside. DiBiase comes back in and locks on a super tight headlock, but the action takes a noticeable dip when there is an obvious mistiming on a leap frog. Superfly remains in control until DiBiase is able to land a huge stun gun, giving the Million Dollar Man an opportunity to capitalize with a follow-up suplex. DiBiase misses out on his patented back elbow from the second rope and Snuka takes over with some big fists and a headbutt, then attempts a diving headbutt from the second rope. Instead of making the pin, though, Snuka heads to the top rope for a big splash, but before he can launch himself, Virgil distracts him on the outside. DiBiase lands an axehandle on the arena floor and tosses Snuka into the ring post leading to a pretty lackluster finish that I'm not entirely sure was 100% kosher. Snuka leaping back on screen for the post-match is a tremendous visual, though, pushing this match slightly higher than it would deserve based on what goes on strictly between the bells. (1.5/5)

Here's a nice surprise - "The Genius" Lanny Poffo has a poem for us! Sadly, it is one of the least remarkable ones I can recall him reciting. Poffo even mentions Miss Elizabeth, spoiling the surprise that Hogan had alluded to in his pre-match promo (as if there was any doubt what "special surprise" he had in store for the heels).

Main event time - "The Macho Man" Randy Savage and Zeus, with Sensational Sherri, taking on Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake. The previous year had seen Hogan and Savage take Andre the Giant and Ted DiBiase in a match I respected for being a spectacle, if not a mat classic. This one will need even more smoke and mirrors to keep me engaged as Zeus was an untrained performer and if Beefcake was trained, he should've asked for his money back. Before the match starts, Howard Finkel is informed by Hulk Hogan that he needs to welcome Hogan's special guest, the First Lady of Professional Wrestling, Miss Elizabeth (looking absolutely radiant here, by the way). The match begins and within the first minute it is obvious how limited Zeus is as a performer, busting out nothing but chokes and bear hugs while Savage provides the actual excitement via a flying axehandle and some menacing facial expressions. The crowd gets behind the Hulkster quickly, though, when Savage locks in a sleeper, drawing strength from their support. Surprisingly, Zeus gets tagged back in moments later. Unsurprisingly, he ties up Hogan in yet another bearhug and keeps him in it for a minute or so before tagging out so Savage can give the match some actual movement. The crowd pops big for Hogan escaping Savage's assault and making the hot tag to Brutus, who ends up on the receiving end of a loaded purse shot from Macho and having to face off with Zeus. Zeus lays in some more chokes, but at least throws in a press slam onto the top rope to mix it up before Savage tags in. A double clothesline spot leads to Hogan getting the tag and, though the Hulkster takes control initially, he ends up eating an elbow drop from Macho Man. Hogan no sells it, though, and we finally get our big showdown - Zeus and Hogan toe-to-toe in the center of the ring. This leads to a ridiculous sequence involving Zeus staggering and the return of the loaded purse, concluding with a crowd-pleasing post-match scene that ends like nearly every other pay-per-view from this era. While this match is decent fun (especially seeing Miss Elizabeth getting physically involved to give Sherri her comeuppance), the key word is probably "decent." Again, the spectacle and the spirited performances out of Savage and Hogan raise this one above where the in-ring action would put it on its own. (2/5)

With an overall rating of 2.5-out-of-5, SummerSlam 89' is actually more watchable than its score would indicate. The opening contest, the Rockers and Santana vs. Quebecers and Martel 6-man, and Intercontinental Championship matches are good-to-great and are given adequate time, while the underwhelming Snuka/DiBiase, Rhodes/Honky Tonk Man, and main event may not be too good, but they don't overstay their welcome. Mr. Perfect is fun to watch in a cameo squash and, helping to keep the show going, are vignettes and promos between every match that work far better than trying to script out convoluted scenes and segments (or, more likely, overloading the Network specials with the same advertisements ad nauseum) like we get on today's shows. While I wouldn't recommend this to every fan (it certainly helps if you have a nostalgic appreciation for late 80s/early 90s WWE), there are far worse shows to find on the Network.

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver