Go Home RAW! - March 28th, 2016

WWE Monday Night RAW

March 28th, 2016 - Brooklyn, NY

- The "Go Home" edition of Monday Night RAW, the final episode before WrestleMania 32, kicks off with a familiar gong strike heralding the arrival of the almighty Undertaker. Cole and JBL hype his match on Sunday - a Hell in a Cell battle against Shane McMahon. The key stipulation is that if Taker loses, he will never compete at a WrestleMania again (boo!) and Shane McMahon will take control of the WWE (yay!). A loud Undertaker chant breaks out as the Deadman grabs a microphone and informs the crowd that this WrestleMania will not be his last. By the way, after Sunday, 3-out-of-10 of Undertaker's last televised matches will have been Hell in a Cell matches - way to try to stay safe, Phenom. Shane McMahon comes out, gets called a "bitch boy," and makes his way to the ring, showing no fear. A "Holy Shit" chant breaks out for no particular reason. McMahon gets in Taker's face and tells him that his legacy died two years ago when he lost to Brock Lesnar (and a "Suplex City" chant breaks out). A fight ensues and they end up brawling on the outside, Shane eventually getting the upperhand with help from a TV monitor. Shane lands a huge elbow drop onto Undertaker through the announce table and what had been a "This is Awesome" chant morphs into a "Holy Shit" chant and then a "You've Still Got It" chant. After Shane makes his way backstage, the Undertaker sits up, enraged.

-#- Very strong opening to RAW. I agree with Jim Ross, though, that the WWE World Championship match should headline Mania even if Shane/Taker is the hotter match.

- Chris Jericho vs. Zack Ryder was next. Before the match could begin, AJ Styles showed up to taunt Y2J and challenge him (again) for WrestleMania. Just as Jericho is about to lock in the Walls of Jericho, AJ starts a "Y-2-Jackass" chant, allowing Ryder to roll him up for the victory. Nothing match. After throwing a temper tantrum, Jericho finally agrees to the match, adding that this his twelfth Mania.

-#- Decent segment, but it probably should've happened two weeks earlier. Considering how long they have built up this rivalry, it makes sense for it to cap off at WrestleMania, but by this point, I would've also liked to see some sort of stipulation in play. I'm not sure what Jericho's "signature match" is, but what differentiates this bout from the one they had at Fast Lane? From RAW in January? From SmackDown in February?

- After a commercial break, we got Becky Lynch vs. Divas Champion Charlotte (with Sasha Banks at ringside), a sneak preview at WrestleMania's triple threat title match between the three NXT grads. I was a big fan of their match at Royal Rumble in January (I gave it 3-and-a-half stars), but this one was designed to promote a future match, not to stand on its own. After some interference from Ric, Charlotte wins with the Natural Selection. Short but sweet TV match.

-#- For whatever reason, Sasha was kept off commentary, a questionable decision when, in the past, Banks has come off as pretty sharp on the mic. If Banks/Lynch/Charlotte gets time, it could be a sleeper for MOTN on Sunday.

- Vince McMahon is backstage. He says is unsurprised by Shane's actions as he knows that Shane doesn't just want "the yard" or "the house" - he wants the whole WWE Universe. Shane McMahon steps up to his old man and tells him that, after Sunday, he's going to control Monday Night RAW, stealing the company from him the way he stole the company from his father.

- In a match designed to hype the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, we get the Social Outcasts (Curtis Axel, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, and Adam Rose) taking on last year's battle royal winner (and former WWE Tag Team Champions in 06', I think) Big Show and Kane. Within a minute, a whole slew of other wrestlers ran in, turning this match into a huge brawl and ending with Kane and Show hitting a double-chokeslam on Mark Henry and then taking out the Social Outcasts. I wanted to fast forward through this segment, but it was so quick I didn't need to.

- After a series of ads, WWE World Champion Triple H and Stephanie McMahon arrive on the scene. Stephanie gets heel heat, but she's been an afterthought in this entire feud and, by getting edited out of the Vince/Shane build, isn't even necessary at this point. The story going into HHH/Reigns is really all about Roman Reigns and his popularity, not about if he'll win the title, but about how he can win it when it's obvious he's not nearly as over as a top babyface should be. Triple H proceeds to cut an elaborately boring promo, tearing down Reigns and gloating about how he is the most successful WWE Superstar in history, a 14-time WWE Champion. Good god did this thing go long. One gets the feeling that, if halfway through the promo, any babyface other than Roman Reigns came out, they would get mega-pops...but instead, Reigns shows up, gets a mixed reaction, and a brawl ensues, the crowd booing when Triple H retreated.

-#- Talk about a terrible segment. Triple H blabbered on endlessly and then Reigns showed up for about 45 seconds of airtime. It is going to be hard to build your brand around a guy that can only be shown on screen for one 180th of your programming without the audience turning against him.

- WWE World Tag Team Champions, The New Day, came out next as Kofi Kingston got ready to take on the League of Nation's Alberto Del Rio. I would be genuinely surprised if Del Rio sticks around after this latest contract, unless of course he's making the kind of money where one doesn't even need self-respect to get them through the day anymore. After Kingston gets the W, Jonathan "The Coach" Coachman of ESPN shows up and announces that SportsCenter will be filming at WrestleMania. I'm not sure who gets excited about these things.

-#- Remember when Del Rio came back and people thought it would mean something? If this match was any indicator, the League of Nations/New Day match at Mania is going to be a heatless one.

- Roman Reigns is backstage and he gets heckled by the Dudleys. I guess this is a continuation of a storyline that happened on SmackDown, but as I don't watch that show regularly, it made little sense to me. Triple H then shows up to help them beat down the number one contender to the WWE Title.

- United States Champion Kalisto vs. Konnor was next. Kalisto is facing Ryback on Sunday in what has to be one of the biggest head-scratchers on the card when you consider that guys like Owens, Zayn, and WrestleMania 27 main eventer, The Miz, were bundled together in a clusterfuck multi-man. Nice to see Kalisto get a clean win here as champions should routinely do that in both title and non-title matches to establish why they're champion. Ryback shows up in the post-match and we get a staredown followed by Ryback doing his "Feed Me More" chant, which seems counterproductive if he's a heel now and should be trying to get heat, not cheers.

- Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman make their way down the aisle. We get a video clip of what happened on SmackDown, Lesnar taking out the Wyatt Family and then doing the same to his WrestleMania opponent Dean Ambrose with a kendo stick. Paul Heyman proceeds to cut the best promo of the night, the kind of serious, passionate, hang-on-every-word speech that Triple H dreams he could do, that the New Day are too goofy to pull off, that the Undertaker could never muster in his emotionless Deadman drone. Dean Ambrose shows up with a red wagon and fills it up with weapons he finds stashed around and under the ring but we don't get any physicality.

-#- I actually thought this was kind of a clever segment, but am not sure it was the best one to "go home" with.

- Stop, Diva Time. My favorite part of this was Emma's entrance music. The Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Alicia Fox, Natalya, and a Mystery Talent) will be taking on Emma, Lana, Summer Rae, Tamina, and Naomi on Sunday. Of course, Naomi has been heavily featured on Total Divas in the past, so, continuity doesn't seem to matter. Emma took on Paige tonight, though, a match that would've met something at some point, but Paige has been in the WWE's basement forever now and Emma, despite being one of the best performers on NXT this year, is a relative unknown. The crowd did not care one bit about this even as Emma and Paige actually showed off some solid sequences, putting together a better 4-minute match than any of the men did tonight. As the Total Divas get beaten down, Eva Marie makes the save, drawing the loudest boos I've heard a woman get since Vickie Guerrero left. It seems Eva will be the mystery partner, though, I'm not sure why they'd book things that way when she is clearly best utilized as a heat-seeking heel and potential valet for a more talented performer that has trouble drawing heat (maybe Ryback?).

-#- On a show filled with matches I'm not looking forward to, the 5-diva tag match will be the most  skippable of all on Sunday.

- Goldust and Booker T are backstage and they do something inconsequential.

- 6 out of the 7 entrants on Sunday's Intercontinental Ladder Match competed next: The Miz, Kevin Owens, and Stardust taking on Sami Zayn, Dolph Ziggler, and Sin Cara next (Zack Ryder wrestled earlier in the night). A loud "Ole!" chant started things off, the crowd obviously in support of Sami Zayn as he stepped in against The Miz. Cut to a commercial and the crowd is shitting on the match, "having fun" as JBL puts it but really just trying to amuse themselves because they're not interested in the match, at times chanting "JBL," "CM Punk," "RVD," and a variety of things I could not make sense of. Predictable but well-executed finishing stretch where everyone landed their signature spot. The best match of the night, but also the most confusing due to the crowd's chanting.

-#- I'm such a Miz mark. While everyone else sees money in Zayn/Owens based on their history, I'd love to see The Miz and Owens or The Miz and Zayn have an extended feud first.

- And Triple H is back out. Him and Stephanie talk about something or other, but by this point, I've tuned out. Roman Reigns shows up, a brawl ensues, and the locker room takes part in a pull apart considerably less heated and interesting than the one Brock Lesnar and Undertaker had last year. As the go home scene to your biggest pay-per-view of the year, this was uncreative and lackluster, the crowd popping at certain times but nowhere near as hot as they were for the opening segment.


I don't typically do predictions for approaching pay-per-views, but I'll go ahead and give one for this Sunday's WrestleMania 32: It will suck way less than the build would have you think, but will not be an all-time great show.