WWE SummerSlam 2003

WWE SummerSlam 2003

Pheonix, Arizona - August 2003

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, the WWE World Championship is held by Kurt Angle and the World Heavyweight Championship is held by Triple H. Christian is the Intercontinental Champion while the United States Title is held by Eddie Guerrero. La Resistance are the recognized World Tag Team Champions and Team Angle are the WWE Tag Team Champions. The Womens' Title is held by Molly Holly and Rey Mysterio is the Cruiserweight Champion, though neither appear on this show.

COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler (RAW), Michael Cole and Tazz (SmackDown)

The Dudleys challenge La Resistance for the WWE Tag Team Titles to kick things off. Fairly typical Dudleys bout, the crowd begging for tables while D-von and Bubba get their other, less exciting shit in. Dupree and Grenier get good heat with their anti-US schtick, but that doesn't make it an interesting gimmick. This match did what it needed to and didn't overstay its welcome, but there's nothing else complimentary to say about it. (2.5/5)

Christian is backstage with Eric Bischoff. I didn't pay too much attention to it.

The Undertaker vs. A-Train follows, a continuation of their feud from SmackDown. A-Train is accompanied by Sable, the story being that A-Train is loosely affiliated with Vince McMahon (who was linked to Sable at the time). Taker controls early, going after Albert's wrist, hitting a flying clothesline off the ropes, and then connecting with the Old School as the cameras flashed. The Deadman costs himself the advantage, though, spilling over the top rope and onto the arena floor. Albert uses his strength to hit a back suplex on Undertaker minutes later and then targets the Phenom's ribs. Undertaker counters with Snake Eyes, but can't finish it with his big boot, leading to a double clothesline spot that brings both men down. They exchange fists but Taker wins out and hits a series of leg drops both in the ring and on the apron. After a Last Ride leads to a small ref bump, Albert is able to counter with his finisher for two but can't secure the victory. In a respectable twist, Taker inadvertently takes the ref out a second time and the finish is in question. By the time we get the actual finish, it comes off as fairly decisive despite the ample shenanigans. Cool post-match moment with Undertaker teasing a chokeslam on Sable before he's interrupted by the returning Stephanie McMahon. I went into this with low expectations and didn't absolutely hate what I saw. (3/5)

Meanwhile, on the RAW side of things, Shane McMahon has been feuding with Kane and the Devil's Favorite Authority Figure (and opponent in tonight's match), Eric Bischoff. This storyline also involved Jim Ross threatening to sue Bischoff and Sleazy E kissing Linda McMahon too, so you know WWE was really firing on all cylinders at this point. Shane-o comes in and takes the fight right to Bischoff who swiftly tries to run away but ends up clocked in the back of the head and on the arena floor for his efforts. Shane continues to dominate, connecting with some goofy punches and dragging Bischoff around the ring. For some reason, Jonathan Coachman shows up with a chair in hand and attacks Shane McMahon as the crowd boos. Lil' Naitch tries to disqualify Bischoff, but the RAW GM grabs the mic and announces that the match is now "No DQ" and pinfalls count anywhere. The two-on-one attack continues as the crowd breaks into an "Austin" chant. Bischoff tells the production truck to turn off JR and King's mics so that The Coach can provide commentary for their beatdown. This angle would be decent if The Coach had any sort of charisma, Shane McMahon wasn't booked as a legitimate tough guy, and Eric Bischoff hadn't been presented, for years, as a phony, ineffective karate-kicking doofus. Austin finally shows up and the crowd pops as he and Shane take out Coach. Austin hits a Stunner on Bischoff too but Shane won't accept the automatic 3-count, opting instead to put Bischoff through a table with his trademark elbow from the top rope. This was only slightly offensive - bad acting, The Coach, Austin not stunnering Shane McMahon for the hell of it like the original Rattlesnake character would've - but not so atrocious that its unwatchable. (2/5)

SmackDown's prestigious and freshly resurrected United States Championship is on the line next with Eddie Guerrero defending against Rhyno, Tajiri, and Chris Benoit. A four-way featuring this particular set of talents should be a blizzard of action, but there are a surprising number of dead spots, moments when the crowd goes silent and the participants seem to be at least two steps behind the next spot. I'm not sure if I should commend these four for trying to develop a match that isn't just one trademark spot after another, but I could swear this one doesn't feature a single gore from Rhyno, that neither Benoit or Guerrero deliver their Tres Amigo/Triple German combo, that Tajiri holds off on the mist - and while this wisely leaves money on the table for future title matches down the line, it also keeps this one from being as fun as one would expect. (3/5)

The WWE Championship is on the line next with Brock Lesnar challenging Kurt Angle in a rematch from WrestleMania XIX. The major difference here is that Lesnar is now a full-fledged heel having aligned himself with Vince McMahon. The match starts off with straight-up wrestling before a frustrated Lesnar starts to try to overpower Angle and take the match outside. Angle has an answer for nearly everything Lesnar throws at him, though, going after Lesnar's ankle repeatedly. A ref bump cues involvement from Vince McMahon who hits Angle with a very weak-looking chairshot, maybe nervous about Angle's legitimately still-healing broken neck. McMahon's interference proves ineffective, though, as Lesnar can't put Angle away, even with his F-5. This is representative of my major gripe with the match - while Lesnar's selling is really great throughout, Angle's performance lacks the same attention to detail as the Olympic Gold Medalist shakes nearly everything off in order to jump to the next big crowd-pleasing signature spot. Still, a very good, but with the shenanigans from Vince, it is a less pure contest than their Mania bout and because of this, less essential viewing. (3.5/5)

A lengthy, lengthy Kane video airs before we cut to Howard Finkel announcing the participants and noting that the Devil's Favorite Demon's match tonight against Rob Van Dam will be fought under hardcore rules. The bell sounds and Kane levels RVD with a big clothesline early before tossing him out of the ring to inflict even more punishment. Kane pulls out a ladder, but doesn't put it to use before RVD is able to get some offense in himself. Van Dam looks pretty reckless in his execution throughout, but its the hard-hitting quality of his aerial maneuvers and kicks that make his work come off as tough. RVD ends up on the top turnbuckle but Kane tosses him off and he lands face-first on a well-placed set of stairs, allowing Kane access to the ladder again. Kane clobbers him with it and gets a two for his efforts. For some reason a WrestleMania XX icon appears in the corner. As the match goes on, RVD is able to put up some pretty strong offense including a spinning kick on a barricade-prone Kane and one has to give some credit to the Big Red Monster for his selling; This is obviously a showcase match for Kane, but he doesn't cut off Van Dam's legs and wisely lets the babyface get some shine in so that when Kane ultimately does finish things off, we know he didn't just beat up on a tomato can. RVD misses a Van Terminator but even when it doesn't connect it is a pretty remarkable show of athleticism. This may go down as one of the highest rated Kane matches I've reviewed as it was a legitimate MOTN contender. (3.5/5)

Main event time - The Second Elimination Chamber pitting Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Triple H, and Goldberg against each other. Unlike the first edition, the combatants don't really sell the danger of the match at all, which is kind of the whole point of a match like this. Jericho and HBK start things off which is wise when you consider that Orton was pretty green, Goldberg did not need to be exposed for 30+ minutes, Nash couldn't go 30+ minutes, and Triple H was the defending champion. Good action between the two before Orton comes in and then things taper off a bit. Nash comes in to a decent pop but is the first eliminated when he eats some Sweet Chin Music and gets covered by Jericho. The amount of superkicks that Michaels throws in this match is one of the few things that really jumped out - it is a smart strategy and really helps make his eventual elimination not only good storytelling, but a subliminal way of showing that Goldberg is wiser than your average behemoth. Triple H is the next in, but Shawn immediately superkicks him back into his pod and that's where he remains for basically the rest of the match (he was injured prior so his work is very light here). Goldberg is released and he wipes out Orton fairly quickly before spearing Jericho (sloppily) through one of the pod walls in the most hellacious spot of the match. Jericho looks legitimately hurt and Goldberg looks a bit damaged from the impact himself but is able to maintain his composure and return to the ring to eliminate Michaels. Jericho takes a Jackhammer for a loss a minute or so later. Triple H stays in his pod, but Goldberg rips him out of it by going through the glass. The crowd is very vocal about seeing Triple H get his comeuppance, but instead, with the help of Ric Flair, the Champion is able to secure his trusty sledgehammer and bash Goldberg in the noggin with it when he attempts a spear. The post-match beatdown is effective and helps build to the next pay-per-view, but this felt like a fairly lackluster Chamber match compared to the first. (2.5/5)


SummerSlam 2003 zigs when you want it to zag and sucks when you want it to rule. How in the hell did Kane and Albert end up with matches on the good side of the good/bad paradigm? The main event features Jericho and Michaels, a young and hungry Orton, and relatively over big men Nash and Goldberg and never really gets interesting save for a few impressive (and dangerous) spots from Goldberg. No Nash/Goldberg showdown? No Orton/HHH interactions despite their tension being a major storyline in the build to the match? Angle/Lesnar is a very good match, but doesn't live up to their unforgettable WrestleMania battle or even the Ironman match they'd put on some time later on SmackDown. With a Kwang score of 2.86-out-of-5 and not a single match I'd consider even close to "must see," this one scores a...

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver