Sunday, July 12, 2020

WWE Royal Rumble 89'

WWE Royal Rumble 89'
Houston, TX - January 1989

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, "The Macho Man" Randy Savage was the WWF World Champion, the Ultimate Warrior was the Intercontinental Champion, "Rockin'" Robin was the Women's Champion, and the Tag Team Titles were held by Demolition.


I love the old school openings Vince used to do for the Royal Rumble. This isn't the best one, but its still fun to hear him run down a list of some of the entrants in the night's main event. 

Opening the show we got a 2-out-of-3 falls, 6-man tag pitting Dino Bravo and The Fabulous Rougeaus against the babyface team of "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan and the Hart Foundation. The crowd is electric at the start, really letting the heels have it. Neidhart and Duggan get huge reactions, but the actual wrestling doesn't get great until Bret enters the ring. He had great chemistry with the Rougeaus and they get to showcase some of it before we get a fun "battering ram" moment with all six guys in the ring. The heels take over with some ring rope trickery and the Rougeaus deliver a cool double-team move to win the first fall. Hart remains in the ring and takes a wicked front-first bump into the corner before taking even more punishment from Dino Bravo. The Rougeaus deliver another cool double-team move, basically a release slam from one Rougeau onto the knees of the other. Bravo locks in a bearhug, but Bret fights his way out. Jacques gets tagged in and applies a camel clutch, pulling on the Hitman's hair whenever the ref's back is turned. The face-in-peril stretch runs quite awhile, but the heels keep things interesting by mixing up their offense and selling big for Bret's hope spots. Hacksaw eventually gets the hot tag and takes everyone out much to the delight of the crowd. After some slingshot splashes from the Harts, Duggan evens the match at 1-1 by pinning Ray Rougeau. The third fall is more back-and-forth with no team controlling for very long, wrapping up with the fan favorites scoring the final pin thanks to some extra help from Duggan's 2x4. While not a "must see" match, this was a lot of fun and everyone, even Dino Bravo, was impressive and spirited. Very good opener. (3.5/5)

Backstage, Ted DiBiase stands with Virgil and pulls out a number he is obviously unhappy with. We then see the reactions of Honky Tonk Man, The Bushwackers, Bad News Brown, Jake Roberts (with a snake wrapped around his body), and The Rockers as they select their numbers.

Judy Martin challenges the WWE Women's Champion Rockin' Robin in the next contest. Before the match, "Sensational" Sherri cuts a promo announcing her intention to challenge whoever wins the match and then joins Jesse and Gorilla on commentary. Not too impressive of a match, but credit where its due, this match felt like a real fight. Neither woman had a very flash offense or a real connection to the crowd, but at least this wasn't crass, sexist or insulting the way women's wrestling was presented 10 years later. I was also underwhelmed by Sherri's commentary. As good as she was as a manager - and I'm willing to argue she's the greatest female manager in pro-wrestling history - her commentary here is all over the place and belies her talent. They gave these women plenty of time (and Sherri plenty of time to get her persona over), but there's little to recommend here. (1/5)

Before the next match, we get the night's Posedown - an extended bodybuilding competition segment between The Ultimate Warrior and Rick Rude (who, by this point, had been paired up with Bobby Heenan). The gold here is all coming from Rude, Heenan, and Okerlund as Warrior literally just stands around and looks intimidating. This is the sort of segment that I wish the WWE would produce during their current PPVs as it really adds variety to a card even if you know how its going to end. (+1)

The next string of promos come from some of the talent's managers - Mr. Fuji, Ms. Elizabeth, and Jimmy Hart. We then cut to Jesse "The Body" Ventura sitting on a throne, setting up our next match...

Haku vs. Harley Race for the title of King of the WWF. Coming into the match, Haku was the reigning King, but Harley Race had never officially lost the crown. As Ventura noted in his commentary, Bobby Heenan managed both competitors so this was a very rare (especially for its time) heel vs. heel match between two of the legit toughest guys in the history of the business. Before the bell even rings, Race walks out and dumps Haku out of the throne, a clever way to kickstart things. Race is the face-by-default, but doesn't play to the crowd at all. Haku draws the heat, though, and his offense looks much better than anything Race was able to muster up at this point in his career, the former NWA World Champion looking slow and tired, his kickouts not packing much gusto and his clotheslines not packing much snap. There are moments where things do connect - Haku and Race trading vertical suplexes, Haku countering a piledriver attempt on the floor into a backdrop, Haku's devastating reverse thrust kick - but they're separated by stretches of inaction or, worse, Haku walking into Race's slo-mo offense because the former King can no longer "bring the fight." The crowd is indifferent to most of it, but it impossible to blame them considering there was no established face to chair for and the de facto one looks like he's on his last legs from minute 2. The most interesting thing about this match is that it almost plays like a passing of the torch, down to some of the "mirror spots," but that still doesn't make it a good match - just an interesting one. (2/5)

Brutus Beefcake, Greg "The Karen" Valentine, The (needlessly breathing heavily) Powers of Pain, Big John Studd (who was coming back from a 2 year absence), Curt Hennig, and the WWF World Champion Randy Savage cut promos about tonight's main event. Savage competing in the Rumble wouldn't make much sense to modern audiences who are used to the Rumble winner challenging for the title at WrestleMania, but that was not part of the prize back in 89'. Before the Rumble begins, Ted DiBiase hints to Gene Okerlund that he has purchased the #30 spot, Bobby Heenan and his Family tell Sean Mooney hype up their gameplan, and, to close it out, Hulk Hogan cuts a classic promo about how tonight will be the resurrection of Hulkamania. 

Main event time - the 2nd ever Royal Rumble. Coming in at #1 we've got Ax of Demolition and, at #2...Smash of Demolition! Ax and Smash immediately go at it, which really puts over the prestige of winning the Royal Rumble as two partners - the World Tag Team Champions no less - come to blows without any hesitation just to win. The buzzer sounds and in comes number 3 - Andre the Giant! Demolition work together to beat down on Andre and he sells for them. The (worked) clock ticks down and out comes "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig. Hennig, a stablemate of Andre's, comes in and goes after everyone he sees, even teaming with Ax to choke Andre in the corner. Smash gets dumped in the melee for our first elimination. "Rugged" Ronny Garvin comes in at #5, just a couple years after his peak run as NWA World Champion. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine comes in at #6 and joins in the effort to eliminate Andre. The story here doesn't make for much excitement but there are at least a few nice sights - specifically Hennig bumping huge for Andre's headbutts and chest chops and the huge reaction when Jake Roberts comes in (at #7) and the two come to blows. Roberts and Andre would go on to face eachother at WrestleMania V. At #8 we get "The Outlaw" Ron Bass, who had recently had his head shaved by Brutus Beefcake. Andre eliminates Jake the Snake and then goes after Valentine, his elimination count now at 2. Shawn Michaels comes in at #9 and gets a decent pop. Perfect eliminates Ax and then attempts to toss Michaels, but the future HBK skins the cat! Wow, I know Ricky Steamboat would pull that move (and probably many others), but is that the first time it was used in a Rumble? Butch of the the Bushwhackers marches in at #10, but the real story is that Jake Roberts comes back into the ring with his snake - and Andre eliminates himself to get away from it! The crowd goes absolutely insane for this, one of the most legendary Rumble moments ever. I'd love to know who came up with that - Patterson? Vince? Jake himself? Honky Tonk Man is in at #11. By this point, Hennig has been in the ring the longest. Tito Santana comes in at #12. Santana shows a ton of fire going after Hennig, but gets cut down by Bass and Valentine. Honky Tonk Man teases getting eliminated a couple times, the audience losing their mind each time. The crowd counts down for #13 - Bad News Brown, who draws a loud chorus of boos. Honky gets eliminated to a pop, his work done for the night. As Shawn gets worked over by Bad News and Valentine, Marty Jannetty comes in at #14 to the rescue. Jannetty doesn't get very far, though, cut off by Ron Bass. The Rockers team up and eliminate the Outlaw, using a double dropkick to get it done. The World Champion Macho Man comes in at #15, the crowd going wild. Savage goes right after Bad News Brown, not even bothering to take off his bandana or sunglasses! Unfortunately, his head of steam is stopped by Valentine. Arn Anderson comes in #16. Savage eliminates Valentine as he comes down the aisle. When Arn comes in, he gets in a great exchange with Michaels that ends with the Horseman eating a Sweet Chin Music! Cool. Savage and Double A team up and eliminate Shawn Michaels, though, a surprising twist. Savage goes back to work on Bad News as everyone else pairs off. Anderson goes to the top rope - never a smart move in a Rumble - and ends up crotched on the corner. Jannetty can't capitalize, though, as Tully Blanchard comes in at #17. He and Blanchard team up and absolutely destroy Jannetty, with Double A even hitting him with his trademark spinebuster. With Jannetty worn down, they grind him out of the ring in one of the more realistic elimination sequences I've ever seen. Hogan comes in and immediately starts destroying people, tossing Hennig effortlessly. We're down to just 6 guys in the ring at this point - Bad News, Hogan, Blanchard, Anderson, Butch, and Macho. As the heels work on Hogan in the corner, Savage tries to eliminate Butch. Speaking of Butch, his teammate, Luke, comes in next at #19 (I think). The Bushwhackers were relative newcomers to the WWE but were already 20+ year vets by this point, remarkable considering they'd keep working in the WWE well into the 90s. As Luke comes in, Butch goes out. Koko B. Ware is in next. The best moments of this stretch come from Hogan, though, who hits both Blanchard and Anderson with some big press slams before dumping Koko and Luke. The Warlord is next in, but before he can even get in the ring, Hogan eliminates both Brainbusters simultaneously! The Warlord comes in, but as soon as he gets in the ring, Hogan eliminates him with a clothesline. Hogan then pushes both Bad News and Savage over as they wrestle by the ropes! Hogan has cleaned house, but Savage is pissed! This is another classic Rumble moment as Savage gets in Hulk's face and Miss Elizabeth runs out to try to keep them from coming to blows. Savage offers his hand and the Mega Powers shake as the buzzer sounds and Big Bossman makes his way down the aisle. Hogan and the Bossman had been feuding for quite awhile by this point, so their exchange gets a huge reaction. Hogan controls early, but Bossman gains control and hits Hulk with a devastating piledriver. Its worth noting too that Ventura's anti-Hogan tirade and performance throughout the Rumble rivals (but does not surpass) Heenan's classic work during 92' Rumble - he really is great here. Akeem comes in and the Twin Towers get to work, beating down the Hulkster. Bossman nearly eliminates him, but Hogan struggles free and hits him with a back suplex. The Towers end up eliminating Hulk Hogan, which is pretty tremendous and shocking. As the Twin Towers continue their assault on Hogan to the outside, Brutus Beefcake runs out and tries to save his friend. Hogan tries to get back in the ring, but the refs prevent him. Hogan pulls the top rope as Bossman is coming towards them and, despite being eliminated, Hogan has now essentially eliminated the Bossman too. They brawl to the back as Akeem tries to eliminate Beefcake in the corner. This is classic pseudo-heel work out of Hogan, the hero flagrantly breaking the rules and getting massive cheers for it. Terry Taylor comes in next but mostly just to get beaten down and give Beefcake a break. The Barbarian is in next, followed by Big John Studd, making his return to the WWF after a 2-year retirement. Studd tosses Rooster out of the way and goes right for Akeem, looking to take out his biggest competition first. Hercules comes in at #28, the starpower really dipping over these last few entrances. Rick Martel comes in at #29 to another mild pop, the crowd still invested but no longer at the fever pitch they were for Andre's stretch in the early going or the Hogan/Macho stretch. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase finally comes in at #30 (having purchased the spot) and the crowd is noticeably quieter than it had been for any other part of this contest - most likely because, at this point, with Jake, Hogan, and Savage gone, the biggest babyfaces left were Beefcake and the returning Studd (who had been a heel when he last appeared in the WWE, if I'm not mistaken). Hercules gets big reactions for taking out DiBiase, these two having some history to draw on. At this point, Akeem has been in the longest. Beefcake applies a sleeper on Hercules and they both get dumped by the Barbarian and DiBiase. Martel manages to eliminate Barbarian, but when he tries to do the same to Akeem, the African Dream bodyslams him out of the ring. We're down to 3 now - Akeem, Studd, and DiBiase. The heels team up for a bit, DiBiase directing Akeem but inadvertently getting squashed himself! When Akeem checks on DiBiase, Studd clobbers him and Akeem tumbles out of the ring. We're down to 2! Studd dominates DiBiase with some huge power moves, even delivering a double-arm suplex (which shocks Ventura) and less-than-perfect gut-wrench suplex. DiBiase is out on his feet and Studd tosses him with ease, winning the Rumble to the delight of the crowd. Virgil comes in and Studd destroys him too, bodyslamming him and eventually tossing him out of the ring too. This is one of the better Rumbles I've seen, especially the first 2/3rds, which feature some of the most legendary moments in WWE history - the Andre elimination and Hogan dumping Savage - along with some fun spots featuring the Brainbusters, the Rockers, and Mr. Perfect. Sadly, the Rumble lacks an interesting "third act" as the starpower really wasn't there after Hogan and Bossman left the match. (3.5/5)


With a Kwang Score of 2.75-out-of-5, the 1989 edition of the Royal Rumble doesn't offer any outright classics and will likely appeal only to fans seeking a nostalgia fix, but there are some great moments sprinkled throughout. The opener is fun and while the Rude/Warrior segment isn't perfect (it goes on a touch too long), its still nice to see that, at one point, Vince did seem to know how to balance wrestling with entertainment without going overboard on comedy or ultra-violence or "shock value" shenanigans. The Rumble itself is 2/3rds awesome, features a ton of the biggest stars of the era, and advances storylines in interesting ways. The Women's Championship match and Haku/Race are disappointments and should be avoided, though. All in all, though, with a comparatively short runtime and even the worst matches not taking up too much time, I'm still gonna put this into a "recommended" category rather than calling it a "nostalgia fans only" show.


FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

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