WWE WrestleMania VI

WWE WrestleMania VI

Toronto, Ontario, CA - April 1990

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into the show, Hulk Hogan is the WWE World Champion, the Ultimate Warrior holds the Intercontinental Championship, and the Tag Team Champions are Andre the Giant and Haku. 

I know the last time I watched Hogan/Warrior from this show was the day after the Ultimate Warrior passed away, but I couldn't tell you the last time I actually watched this show in full. Let's see how it holds up...

Robert Goulet welcomes the audience by singing the Canadian national anthem, "O Canada," and then its time for opener - Koko B. Ware vs. "The Model" Rick Martel. Martel jumps Ware when he's getting his boots checked and takes immediate control, but Ware bounces back with a crossbody off the second rope to pop the crowd. I'm not sure they had any real storyline build for this - maybe they did - but its not a bad match for what is, a glorified TV bout. Nothing special and not necessarily "Mania worthy," but inoffensive. (1.5/5)

Backstage, Mean Gene talks to the WWE Tag Team Champions, the Colossal Connection (managed by Bobby Heenan) and Sean Mooney gets a word from their opponents - Demolition - before their match. It could be expected that a bulk of this match would be fought by Haku as Andre was at the tail end of his career (in fact this was his last WWE match), but Andre doesn't even come in for a single (legal) sequence. In fact, aside from breaking up a pinfall attempt here and there, he barely steps foot in the ring at all. Instead, this is essentially a 2-on-1 handicap match that ends with Andre tied up in the ropes (after an errant heel kick from Haku) and Demolition delivering their finisher to regain the titles as the crowd goes crazy. Not a great match - not even a good match, really - but the finishing sequence is undeniably well-executed and gets a massive ovation, meaning they had to be doing something right. The post-match shenanigans give us Andre finally turning on Heenan, a beautiful send-off to the character that allowed the Giant to leave the company with the fans back on his side. (Andre would be back for random appearances after this, if I'm not mistaken, but they didn't amount to much.) (2.5/5)

Hercules vs. Earthquake is next. Gorilla notes on commentary that Earthquake was undefeated at the time and had supposedly sent 28 men to the hospital. After an initial flurry of offense forces Quake to regroup on the outside, we get a test-of-strength that doesn't make a ton of sense to me. Sure, Quake has a bit of a weight advantage, but Hercules is 100% muscle and ripped to shreds. Quake takes control and never really relinquishes it as Hercules, despite hitting him with a series of big clotheslines and tackles, is unable to put Quake on the mat. Earthquake eventually lands his finishing move to put this one to bed. Even in terms of squash matches this wasn't a particularly great squash match. (1/5)

Miss Elizabeth is interviewed in the next segment. As the interviewer notes, she had not been on-screen much. She explains that the reason she hasn't been around is because she was afraid to disappoint her fans by not being around. It doesn't make much sense to me.

Next up - Mr. Perfect (with "The Genius" Lanny Poffo at his side) vs. Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. These two had been feuding for several months by this point. This could probably best be described as a carry job by Perfect as his selling and bumping is the best thing about this otherwise ho-hum match. Beefcake was over, no doubt, and the rumor has always been that he was in line to win the Intercontinental Championship in the summer (his push getting derailed by a near-fatal parasailing accident that put him on the shelf for a long while). The post-match is basically a repeat of what we saw happen at the Rumble, which also strikes me as a bit of a cop out. I wasn't expecting a mat classic here and we didn't get one, but this still underwhelmed me. (1.5/5)

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown is next. This match is more known for Piper appearing in half-black face than anything else. Piper was never a gret in-ring worker, but he could brawl and he could sell and he could show fire - and with the mic skills Piper had, that was always more than enough for the guy. I'm really only familiar with Bad News' WWE work, but I've never rated him too highly either. Good gimmick, good promos, good look, good credentials - but just not particularly interesting to me between bells. Had this match been worked a bit more like an NWA-style streetfight, an actual brawl all around the ring and into the stands, a blood-soaked, weapons-filled melee, it might've actually been something as the best part of the match is the finish, when Piper and Brown leave the ring and things get violent and out-of-hand. (1.5/5)

Steve Allen is backstage sitting at a piano. The comedy songwriter welcomes The Bolsheviks and proceeds to sing a few ditties satirizing Mother Russia. Silly stuff, but better than most of the "comedy" the WWE does today. (+1)

Speaking of The Bolsheviks - Nikolai Volkoff and Boris Zhukov - their match against The Hart Foundation is next. I looked away from the screen for a minute so I missed this match. I wonder what their payday was for less than a minute of work? I wish they had actually worked a match as Bret was one of the best workers in the company at the time. At least the right team won and the Bolsheviks got their comeuppance for having pride in their country? (1/5)

After a quick advert for WrestleMania VII, Bobby Heenan accompanies The Barbarian for his match against Tito Santana. As the previous few matches had been so brief, Barbarian and Santana actually having a back-and-forth match makes this one seem like a comparatively grueling contest (despite the match probably going something like 5-6 minutes?). This isn't too bad - just more of a Saturday Night's Main Event-level match rather than a WrestleMania bout. I like the false finish towards the end and Barbarian's actual finish is sold beautifully by Santana, but aside from that, there's really not much to see here. (1.5/5)

After a video package recapping their feud we get the first-ever mixed tag match (a fact [?] that the commentators play up and is even mentioned by The Fink) - "The Macho King" Randy Savage and Queen Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes and Sister Sapphire. The "wrestling" in this one is atrocious (especially Sapphire), but this is still a really fun match. Elizabeth comes out to a huge ovation, which explains her previous interview segment a little (but also kinda spoiled the surprise of her being on the show). Savage is spectacular throughout, Sherri is terrific, and Dusty Rhodes is entertaining. This match plays out like a Three Stooges episode with the heels bumping into each other all over the place, but the crowd eats it up because the heat is there and the audience wants to see Savage and Sherri get their comeuppance. (2.5/5)

We get a series of interviews next, including a classic Ultimate Warrior promo. Entertaining stuff. (+1)

Back in the ring, The Rockers take on The Orient Express (Pat Tanaka and Akio Sato). I preferred the Tanaka/Paul Diamond version of the Express, but this is still a solid tag bout - in fact, of all the tag matches on the show, this one is easily the best. Jannetty and Tanaka are the stars here and get most of the ring time and there are actually some hard-hitting, high-risk moves performed, which differentiates the match from pretty much anything else on the card. The best part of the match is the finish and Jannetty's selling of the salt-in-the-eyes as he stumbles all around the ring and even into the stands. Again, not a really great match or anything, but comparatively better than everything else up to this point in terms of actual wrestling. (2.5/5)

This one is followed by Dino Bravo taking on "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. As could be expected with this pairing, this match is not too good. However, the finish and post-match are strong and effective in getting Earthquake over as he repeatedly hits Duggan with his finish. For that alone, I'm giving this an extra half-point. (1.5/5)

Before the next match, we get a video package recapping the entirety of the feud between "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Jake "The Snake" Roberts. At this point in his career, Roberts was mega-over and in possession of DiBiase's Million Dollar Belt (which is up for grabs in this match). This is the best match on the card so far and its not even close. Just brilliant pacing between these two veterans. At one point the crowd seems a bit dead and uninterested - they even break into a wave (which became one of the WWE Universe's signals that they were bored with what was happening in the ring) - but its a credit to Jake and Ted that instead of rushing into high spots (or whatever would count as one in 1990), they slow the pace down a bit and build up the heat, DiBiase eventually landing a devastating a piledriver and then, instead of trying to grab the audience's attention with a nearfall, basking in his own glory and raising his hands in the air, drawing all the attention back to himself. Its a tiny moment in a match full of smart work that accomplishes a ton without either guy necessarily performing any spectacular moves or any sequence looking pre-constructed and rehearsed. The finish is a bit disappointing - but its hard to criticize in effectiveness. Ted DiBiase manages a countout victory (thanks to interference by Virgil, further establishing his importance to Dibiase's success), but Jake ends up with the last laugh, not only hitting his DDT but also by taking some of DiBiase's cash and passing it out to some fans at ringside (include Mary Tyler Moore). A more fulfilling ending would've pushed this one into "must watch" territory to me, but without it, this is still very good stuff. (3.5/5)


The build for this next match is reviewed in pre-match promos by Akeem (and his manager Slick) and his former Twin Towers tag partner, The Big Bossman. The match itself is nothing special, but I really liked the pre-match beatdown that DiBiase delivered to Bossman. Again, its just really smart storytelling to transition DiBiase into his next feud and, because Bossman ends up defeating Akeem rather quickly, cement their rivalry. (1.5/5)

The action is broken up with a performance by Honky Tonk Man ("Honky Love"), the Bushwhackers running off Rhythm and Blues and then Howard Finkel announcing the night's record-breaking attendance. 

"Ravishing" Rick Rude takes on "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka next. Based on the commentary and lack of pre-match video, I'm thinking this match didn't have much of a storyline behind it (and if it did, it was pretty minor). Snuka is super juiced-up here and Rude is in full pinball mode in the early going. There's a slight mistiming when Rude and Snuka start running the ropes, the Superfly not looking nearly as agile and spry as he once did. After Snuka misses a splash from the top, Rude hits the Rude Awakening to get the clean win (as Snuka kicks out at 3.1 for some reason). Nothing match. (1/5)

Main event time - The Ultimate Warrior challenging Hulk Hogan in a Winner Takes All match for the Intercontinental and World Championship. This is one of those matches that, at least to me, always gives you at least one new thing to think about. This time around, I was surprised most by the storyline recap of the feud - which leans a bit too far into making Warrior seem like a heel. Watching it back, Hogan repeatedly saves Warrior from bad situations. At one point, the Warrior nearly clotheslines Hogan from behind before stopping himself - but even the fact that he thought of doing it seems heelish. Any which way, the Warrior was still undeniably mega-popular...but at the Skydome, it really comes across like Hogan is still the bigger star, his entrance getting a notably bigger pop. The actual match itself is famous/infamous for its (mis-remembered) lack of actual wrestling, built entirely around on two guys milking a test-of-strength and mirroring eachother's bodyslams. Still, the crowd responds like they are seeing the greatest match of all time. After Warrior clotheslines Hulk out of the ring, Hogan sells a knee injury and Warrior goes right after it (again, a bit of a heelish move). Hogan gains control, though, and Gorilla explains away his no-selling of the injury as his kneecap possibly slipping back into place. Hogan applies a headlock and then follows it up with some chops in the corner, the Warrior now playing the sympathetic face. Hogan gets a 2 count and applies a backbreaker for another nearfall before reapplying a chinlock. Hogan goes after Warrior's back with some knees and then a back suplex. Hogan applies yet another chinlock, but Warrior fights his way up to a vertical position before elbowing his way out. We then get the classic double-clothesline spot, both men left down and out in the middle of the ring. Again, the match is remembered most for these sorts of spots - but what's forgotten is that Hogan actually delivered quite a few big moves (the backbreaker, the suplex) and, though it was completely forgotten about, the Warrior's offense targeting Hulk's knee showed more psychology in 1 minute than the Warrior had done (and would ever do) in his whole career. Back on their feet, Warrior no-sells some of Hogan's offense and hits a textbook suplex for 2. Warrior applies a bearhug and now its Hogan's turn to sell and get the fans behind him (and he's obviously terrific at it). The bearhug segment goes long - too long - but the crowd is still enthralled and when Hogan's arm doesn't go down on the third drop, the pop is huge. Hogan fights his way out and sends Warrior to the ropes, but Hogan drops down and the Warrior hits Hebner! Warrior hits a series of axehandles from the top rope, the referee still out. Warrior attempts a shoulder tackle, but Hogan dodges it and sends Warrior down face-first onto the mat. He makes the cover and Hogan gets the visual pin. Warrior hits a back suplex and Warrior gets his own visual pin on the Warrior as the referee wakes up. Warrior makes another count but only gets 2! Hogan goes for the schoolboy pin but the ref is way out of position and only gets 2 himself. Hogan sends Warrior into the ropes and back-elbows him out of the ring, the fight spilling onto the floor. Warrior whips Hogan into the steel post, another slightly heelish move (even if Hogan was the first to try to attempt it). Warrior miraculously hits Hogan with the Guerilla Press Slam and then the splash, but Hogan kicks out at 2! The crowd goes insane for Hogan's comeback and I wonder if, watching from the back, Vince thought about calling an audible (not that I think he could've done anything about it). Hogan rallies and attempts a leg drop, but Warrior rolls out of the way and hits his big splash for 3! Famously, Hogan kicked out at 3.1 and sold the loss a bit like a fluke, but I've never been bothered by that. Hogan wasn't dominated at any point of the match - but he was eventually down for 3 seconds, the most important 3 seconds of any match, caught with his shoulders on the mat after missing his finisher and getting hit by the Warrior's best shot. The Warrior's celebration felt like a big moment, but its worth noting that even in the loss, Hogan is still given plenty of post-match screentime and the biggest cliffhanger coming out of the show really was "What would Hulk do now?" not necessarily what the next step of the Warrior was. In terms of a rating, I'll knock off a half-point for the ultimately meaningless knee stuff in the early going (which could've been so useful to go back to repeatedly in the match if you consider the finish), but this is just one of those matches that stands the test of the time by being the best possible version of itself. You were not going to get a mat classic or a sophisticated game of physical chess from these two. You weren't even going to get a blood-soaked brawl or two monsters beating the crap out of each other with stiff clotheslines and chops. This was a battle of superheroes with limited movesets that, unlike similar matches of today, didn't rely on finisher spamming. Thanks to Pat Patterson, the pacing and suspense is laid out brilliantly too. (4.5/5)

Kwang Scores can be deceptive. While this show earned a 2.11-out-of-5, putting in the sub-average category, its hard not to have a soft spot for a show as fun as this. Does it run a bit long? Sure. Is there a dearth of actual quality wrestling? No doubt. But the main event is a must-watch classic, one of the most important WWE matches in history and almost inifinitely rewatchable if you're at all a fan of this era of pro-wrestling. Piper/Bad News, the World Tag Team Match, and Perfect/Beefcake are all disappointments, not a single one living up to its potential - but none overstay their welcome or deny the audience of what  they want to see (Demolition winning the gold, Andre turning on Heenan, Piper and Bad News brawling all over the place). The mixed tag match and Roberts/DiBiase are not technical showcases but are great in their own way, fun matches built on quality storytelling, colorful characters, and heels getting their comeuppance. If this show were edited down by 30 minutes, it would probably be one of the greatest pay-per-views of all time - even with only one true must-see match.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

WWE Extreme Rules 2020: The Horror Show

WWE Extreme Rules 2020: The Horror Show

Orlando, FL - July 2020

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, the WWE Champion was Drew McIntyre, the Universal Champion was Braun Strowman, the Intercontinental Champion was AJ Styles, the United States Champion was Apollo Crews, the RAW Women's Champion was Asuka, the SmackDown Women's Champion was Bayley, the RAW Tag Team Champions were The Street Profits, the SmackDown Champions were The New Day, and the Women's Tag Team Champions Bayley and Sasha Banks. Finally, the 24/7 Champion was R-Truth.

The official title of this show was "The Horror Show At Extreme Rules," a title that seemed to be baiting the audience a bit after a string of wrestlers and crew members came up positive for Covid-19 earlier in the month. 

Opening things up in a Tables Match were The New Day and Nakamura and Cesaro. I had mildly high expectations for this largely because Cesaro is almost always excellent in tags and The New Day, even if I'm a bit tired of the gimmick, also have one of the highest batting averages for good matches of any tag team in history (a remarkable feat considering they've been going since 2014!). This being a Tables match, though, meant that it wasn't fought under conventional tag rules. Early on, Kofi hit the heels with dropkicks into the barricade and steps that looked nasty and allowed Big E to set up a table on the outside of the ring. There were some good "table teases" (what else would you call them?) throughout, giving the match suspense and some excellent other spots as well, including Big E propelling Kofi into the air for a splash only for him to hit a table like a wall (but not go through it) and Big E's ever-thrilling spear to the outside. In front of a live crowd, one would imagine that this would've been a huge hit and that the finish, which saw Cesaro powerbomb Kingston through TWO tables on the outside, would've drawn a huge response. I wouldn't quite call this "must see," but it was one of the better in-studio matches I've seen since the WWE has been stuck in the Performance Center. (3.5/5)

After getting hyped up by Asuka, Alexa Bliss, and Kairi Sane, Nikki Cross challenged Bayley for the SmackDown Women's Championship. This one didn't have any crazy spots or any "This Is Awesome"-inducing sequences, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. It felt like a real fight, Cross showing a ton of urgency and following up every one of her big offensive maneuvers with a pinfall attempt. The things that hurt this match were all tangential; the constant jump cuts were nauseating at times and Corey Graves is not nearly as good as he thinks he is. The finish was classic heel shtick with Sasha sneaking Bayley her Boss knucks and Bayley utilizing them with the ref's back turned. Simple-but-effective match that made both competitors look tough and motivated and made the SmackDown Championship feel like a big deal - something that it hasn't always felt like (especially in 2018/2019 when the entire Women's Division seemed to revolve around Ronda Rousey). (3/5)

Bray Wyatt appeared next from his Haunted House Laboratory and hyped his Swamp Match against Braun Strowman later in the match. When we came back to the Horror Show, it was announced that Apollo Crews was unable to defend his US Championship due to injury. Instead, MVP made his way down the aisle (accompanied by Bobby Lashley) and announced that, due to forfeit, he was the rightful United States Champion. This was an "unofficial" title change, as the commentators noted. Nothing to really rate here. 

The Eye-for-an-Eye Match between Seth Rollins and Rey Mysterio Jr. was next. The stipulation of the match was an albatross here as Mysterio was forced to wrestle considerably out-of-character and two guys whose greatest strengths are their agility had to build everything around eye gouges, weaponry, and headfirst drops into posts, tables, and aprons. All while not being allowed to actually draw any blood, mind you. Conceptual flaws aside, this one held my attention and there were some cool moments. Unsurprisingly, Rollins shined as a heel - but in the history of wrestling, has there even been anyone easier to play off of than Rey Mysterio? Against Rey, Rollins could bust out absolutely any move he wanted (included a reverse powerbomb and a Falcon Arrow on the edge of the ring) and look like a bully doing it, something that doesn't come across as strongly when he's busting out the same moves against heavyweights. Mysterio's offense wasn't too shabby either, at one point busting out a pair of sick sunset flip powerbombs that sent Rollins back-first into the barricade and, later, delivering a Curb Stomp to the Monday Night Messiah. Mysterio also broke a kendo stick in half and drove it into Rollins' eye and even drove Rollins' eye-first into the steps (a callback to how this whole feud started), but none of this was enough to end the match (despite them being seemingly reasonable finishes). A mule kick to the balls saved Rollins, who then hit Mysterio with a devastating kick into the barricade and then a Curb Stomp as the "fans" booed. Rollins then grounded Rey's previously-damaged left e Iye into the steps again and the bell was rung, Rollins proceeded to puke in disgust of what he himself did. There were rumors that there would be a "CGI eye-gouging," but things didn't get that graphic (pun intended). In fact, the very quick glimpse we did see of a fake eye in Mysterio's mask was so brief, I missed it entirely and didn't actually see it until it was posted on Twitter. After Rey was helped to the back, the "fans" continued to boo and Rollins made his way to the back, seemingly sick with himself. Considering the rumors going into this one, I thought this was pretty darn good - though it may have been better had they just called it a Last Man Standing match or a No DQ match or an Unsanctioned Street Fight and had it end with a "ref stoppage" the same way. Not a "must see," but not bad at all. (3.5/5)

After a quick word from the commentators, Bayley cut a great little heel promo mocking Rey Mysterio and then introduced her tag team partner, Sasha Banks. This was followed by another bizzare, B-movie video package hyping tonight's Swamp Match. 

Asuka vs. Sasha Banks for Asuka's RAW Women's Championship was next. The start of this match suffered a bit from the high-stakes suspense of the previous bout, these two putting on a straight-up title match built around technical wrestling coming off as quite a change of pace from the brutality of what came before it. Babyface Asuka is also not my favorite iteration of her character, though, its not like her offense is any less devastating. There were some terrific sequences in this match - double-knees all over, counters, submissions, stiff backhands, release belly-to-back suplexes, moments of "real" struggle, just good wrestling. At one point, Banks countered a weird-looking super german suplex and then tried to follow it up with a splash from the second rope but tweaked her knee in a way that seemed like a botch, but maybe wasn't? Again, it was in these moments that the match felt like a real competition and not a sequence of rehearsed maneuvers, the realism shining through. While Bayley took out Kairi on the outside, Asuka and Sasha fought on, Banks even tapping to the Asuka Lock (with the referee's back turned). Bayley tried to get involved but got knocked out in the chaos by a big kick to the head. Her interference still played into the finish, though, as Banks grabbed a title belt, got into the ref, and Asuka ended up spitting her mist directly into the official's eyes. With the official out, Bayley came in and knocked Asuka out, stripped the ref of his shirt, put it on, and made the count herself. I doubt that finish will stand but Bayley and Asuka left with all the gold. A very deflating ending that was also hurt by the fact that it was the second time on the very same show that the title "changed hands" despite not really changing hands. With a better finish, this could've been something special, maybe even a Match of the Year contender for the company (in a pretty slow year, to be honest), but with such a bizarre ending, its hard to recommend it as a whole. (3/5)

The next match was for the WWE Championship, Drew McIntyre defending against Dolph Ziggler - who got to select the stipulation, but would not unveil it until moments before the match begun. After announcing the participants, Ziggler unveiled the stipulation - that the match would be fought under "Extreme Rules" for Dolph Ziggler only and that the title could change hands on DQ or countout. Even with that stipulation, this one should've gone under 2 minutes with McIntyre landing a Claymore early and thoroughly demolishing his former tag team champion. Instead, Ziggler took quite a beating but managed to sneak to the outside at every turn, eventually even taking control of the match by running McIntyre face-first into the post. But McIntyre recovered moments later and seemingly had Ziggler beaten - until he basically allowed Dolph to kick him in the balls and grab another weapon. This match being fought even remotely 50/50 did nothing for nobody. Ziggler came off as weak for not being able to defeat McIntyre even after leveling him with a half-dozen chair shots (and a Zig-Zag and an elbow drop through a table later on) and McIntyre, who should be an absolute ass kicker that is presented as being a top tier guy, came off "just another guy." For what this was, it was a fine - a good version of a match that shouldn't exist. Ziggler is too crisp and too good of a bumper to have a truly bad match, but with zero credibility, the finish was never in question (even with the odds ridiculously stacked against Drew). This same match against someone with actual momentum - Andrade after an undefeated streak on RAW or the Sami Zayn we saw with Cesaro and Nak as his back-up earlier this year - and this would've been 75% less tedious. Again, the work of both guys, the execution of several great spots, was too good for this match to ever be described as "bad," but its far from essential viewing or quality booking. (2.5/5)

Main event time - Bray Wyatt vs. Braun Strowman in the first-ever Swamp Fight. As a segment, this would've been somewhat okay, but as a match, it was a misfire. The Boneyard Match worked because it was over-the-top ridiculous and played tongue-in-cheek - from the instantly quotable trash talk to the Walker, Texas Ranger-esque fight sequences. It was a spectacle that fit the Undertaker's decades-old iconography. The John Cena/Bray Wyatt cinematic match (also from this past year's WrestleMania) worked because it was absolutely bonkers, a non-linear acid trip through the life and times of John Cena (another guy with enough history to support such a wildly symbolic presentation). Braun Strowman is a one-note monster as evident by the first set piece of the "match" - Braun getting attacked by his former self, who, aside from wearing a sheep mask and slightly different tank top, looked the exact same as he does now. This match hinged on Bray Wyatt wanting Strowman to revert back to his Wyatt Family days but has he actually changed in any way since then? Basing a months-long storyline on the premise that Wyatt once ruled the WWE with Strowman as his puppet would make much more sense if that actually happened, which it didn't. It would've also helped if Strowman had the ability to emote beyond heavy breathing, which really should've been muted a bit during post. On the other side of things, Bray Wyatt is a bit like a supernatural Dolph Ziggler. No matter what guise or gimmick or re-packaging they develop for him (and the creation of The Fiend was, initially, inspired work), his motivations are never clear and he's never all that dominant or clever. His performance here, returning as his least interesting and most exposed gimmick, was as muddled as ever. Speaking of muddled, unlike the surprisingly brightly-lit Boneyard Match, which featured several simple-but-effective set pieces, the "Swamp Fight" was not just too dark, it lacked any scope at all. If the idea was that they were brawling (which there was barely any of) through a nebulous bog, well, again, they bent space and time much better in the Cena match. The lone bright spot was the callback to Braun's brief alliance with Alexa Bliss (we finally "saw" Sister Abigail and she was seemingly a shapeshifter), but, oddly enough, even this felt a bit lazy - like they couldn't connect-the-dots to Braun's lengthy feud with Roman Reigns and Sami Zayn or tagging up with a 7 year-old, all of which were storylines of far greater consequence than his partnership with Bliss. I'm not saying bringing that history into this match would've been easy (or even made much sense), but somehow John Cena cosplaying as Hollywood Hogan worked in April. As a segment on an episode of SmackDown, this would've been too long but arguably interesting. As a main event of a Network special, it stunk. (0.5/5)

Don't let the middle-of-the-road 2.66-out-of-5 Kwang Score fool ya', WWE Extreme Rules 2020: The Horror Show was an aptly-titled disappointment. Most frustrating was that several matches were quite good...until it came to wrap them up and the writers opted for maddening anti-climactic finishes and, to make matters worse, repeated them. It was bad enough to see MVP award himself the United States Championship when Apollo Crews was unable to compete, but to see the same unofficial title change happen in the Sasha/Asuka match? The finish to the Mysterio/Rollins match was underwhelming, another example of the WWE booking themselves into a corner weeks ago and stubbornly refusing to adjust course once they realized that gouging someone's eye out on TV was probably not something they could execute well. The main event was the worst of the multiple Cinematic Matches the WWE has put on since WrestleMania, nearly impossible to follow, lacking in imagination, and serving as nothing more than a reminder of how weak and one-dimensional the original Bray Wyatt character was. Like most modern WWE shows, the level of wrestling is too high for this show to be completely devoid of any quality - I mean, any show featuring Cesaro, Rey Mysterio, and Asuka is bound to have at least a few awesome moments - but it still left too bitter a taste in my mouth for me to ever recommend a full viewing.

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver 

WWE Royal Rumble 90'

WWE Royal Rumble 1990

Orlando, FL - January 1990

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, the WWE World Champion was Hulk Hogan, the Intercontinental Champion was The Ultimate Warrior, the World Tag Team Champions were the Colossal Connection, Andre the Giant and Haku, and there was no longer a Women's Champion (the title having essentially been retired when Rockin' Robin was released sometime in late 89'/early 90'). 

The 1990 edition of the Royal Rumble starts off with one of my all-time favorite wrestling "things" - Vince McMahon running down the names of all the competitors. I don't know what year he stopped doing this, but I really, really wish he'd go back to it just to hear what inflection he would put on names like Otis or Shinsuke Nakamura.

The opening contest is The Fabulous Rougeaus vs. The Bushwhackers. Jacques is sporting a full beard, which is a bit jarring. As Ventura notes, this is a real clash of styles - the Bushwhackers known for their brawling and the Rougeaus known for their technical skill, teamwork, and quickness. The Aussies control early with their incredibly simple offense and the crowd eats it all up. The Rougeaus show patience, though, and are eventually able to get some offense in. This sort of match isn't my cup of tea as its a touch too "silly" and the 'Whackers are just too limited in what they can do, but at least the Rougeaus get some time to show off their agility and arrogance. The crowd pops huge for the hot tag and even more once Jimmy Hart gets pulled into the fray. I like the extra twists towards the end as it really does seem like the Rougeaus have it sewn up at one point. Not a match I'd ever recommend or consider a great showcase of the French Canadians, but there are worse openers out there. (1.5/5)

"The Genius" Lanny Poffo takes on Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake next. This was part of the on-going Hogan & Beefcake/Genius & Mr. Perfect feud and was a prelude to the eventual Perfect/Beefcake match at WrestleMania VI. I was underwhelmed with this one despite being a fan of Poffo. The crowd is into Beefcake's act but I don't know why. He's always just seemed a bit awkward and lumbering in the ring to me and his offense always seemed weak. Poffo is a more imaginative and fun worker to watch but not enough to make this match actually good. The best part of the bout was the post-match run-in by Mr. Perfect, Hennig bringing the intensity and intention that the rest of the match seemed to lack. (1/5)

After some words from the Heenan Family, we go to our next contest - an "I Quit" match between "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. I'm not sure what the thought or storyline behind this match was as I don't recall Garvin or Valentine being particularly over and this is a fairly big spotlight. Also, while Garvin and Valentine were known for their toughness and ability to put on hard-fought matches, after the light comedy of the two matches before this, these two putting on an NWA-like brawl comes off as really out-of-place. Maybe they thought it would get over with the Florida crowd? Who knows. Despite this being an "I Quit" match, both Garvin and Valentine go for covers at various times and neither attempt any sort of submission or target a body part (at least early on). I guess it makes sense that because submission matches were such a rarity the fact that they attempt pinfalls multiple times is supposed to be their "natural instinct" kicking in. Less explainable is how Garvin's knee brace protects him from the figure four leglock, a move he literally laughs off. After hitting him with his legendary chops and headbutts, Garvin locks in the Indian Deathlock, but Valentine grabs the ropes and the ref breaks it up (though its unclear why as this match couldn't end in a DQ anyway). Eventually, Jimmy Hart tears the "Hammer Jammer" off of Garvin and Valentine re-applies the figure four, but Garvin counters it before turning over in a spirited sequence. This far into the match, Garvin and Valentine both attempt to end the match with pins (which is just stupid at this point). Garvin tears off Valentine's brace and it would seem like this would play into the finish (with Garvin beating Valentine with his "own medicine" by applying the figure four), but the match goes on for a couple more minutes before Garvin uses a sharpshooter to get the win (a move that puts more pressure on the lower back rather than the knee). I can see some people digging this match (in fact, I've read some reviews that consider it an unheralded 4-star gem), but I didn't. A point awarded for Garvin's chops and some of the other stiff sequences, but the tone and execution of this match never clicked with me - largely due to the pinfall attempts late in the match, Garvin's random goofiness, and Valentine just not being a super engaging personality. (2/5)


Brother Love is out next and he welcomes his guest, "The Queen of the WWE" Sensational Sherri. As I wrote in my review of the 89' Survivor Series, I like how these old WWE shows would offer a break in the action to do a special segment (in that case, a Warrior/Rude posedown). After running her down (without actually naming her), including some fat-shaming from Jesse Ventura, Sapphire comes out as the next guest. The whole point of the segment is to draw heat by having Sapphire get cut off until she slaps the taste out of the mouth of Sherri, ultimately leading to Savage and Dusty running down and getting into a brawl. Its legitimately hard to watch Sapphire get berated, but that's the point; this is an effective segment. It is especially great because the Florida crowd is clearly losing their shit seeing Dusty again, especially once he gets to give Brother Love his comeuppance. (+1)

Before his match, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan cuts a promo against his opponent - The Big Bossman. I wouldn't call this an all-time great hoss fight, but this is still much better than I expected, largely thanks to the performance of the Bossman. When he was "on," Ray Traylor was an absolute beast - solid offense, great selling, surprising agility, good pacing. Duggan is fine, but I've always found him to be a one-note performer. He's either dominating and knocking guys around or he's walking around the ring in a daze - there's really just nothing in-between for him. The finish protects both guys, but still comes off as a bit of a disappointment considering that the rest of the match was solid. Another average match. (2.5/5)

We get a series of mini-promos from a bunch of tonight's entrants, including Hercules, Earthquake, and...The Uuuultimate Waaarrior! The Warrior's promo is obviously insane, but what's noteworthy about it is that he mentions Hogan by name - a not-so-subtle nod to their impending rivalry, something I'm not sure was even in the ether yet. After cutting back to Tony and Jesse, we get even more promos, starting off with "The Macho King" Randy Savage. This is one of my favorite Savage promos, actually, just because its so off-the-wall, like its been pieced together by some sort of Macho Man AI. Jake Roberts' promo is quite good too. The series wraps up with words from the Hulkster (no surprise), who looks like he's poured a liter of olive oil all over himself. (+1)

Here we go, main event time - the 1990 Royal Rumble match. Ted DiBiase comes out first, followed by the popular "Birdman" Koko B. Ware. The irony here is that DiBiase paid for the #30 spot at the previous Rumble. The Million Dollar Man eliminates Ware, but Marty Jannetty comes in at #3 (to a sizeable pop). This is also the first year where wrestlers' entrance themes play as they come down the aisle, which is kinda cool. Jannetty and DiBiase go through a quality sequence of action, but Jannetty ends up elimating himself with an errant crossbody. Jake "The Snake" comes out at #4 to a *massive* pop. I don't recall if these two were already feuding, but if not, their work together here might've rung a bell in McMahon's head to pair them up. Savage comes in (no entrance music) at #5 and we've got three Hall of Famers going at it. Savage's outfit is outrageous, by the way, heavily inspired by the "tropical" locale. Roberts ends up tied in the ropes, but is fortunately saved by another super-over face, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper! Talk about a loaded batting order. Piper releases Roberts, which doesn't make sense, but whatever, at least Ventura notes it. Piper and Roberts team up to try to eliminate Savage, but DiBiase makes the save (another unwise move). At #7 we get The Warlord from the Powers of Pain. Bret "The Hitman" Hart comes out at #8 to a decent pop and immediately gets involved with Savage and DiBiase before moving on to the Warlord (even teaming up with Piper to hit him with a double-clothesline). Bad News Brown comes in at #9, but the big moment is the elimination of Jake Roberts soon after, dumped out by Savage and DiBiase. DiBiase nearly gets eliminated by Piper to another big pop, but Savage makes the save (causing Schiavone to wonder aloud if The Macho King has been "paid off"). "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes comes in at #10 to another huge ovation, immediately going after Savage and eventually eliminating him with a HUGE back body drop. At #11 we get the biggest entrant of the match, Andre The Giant, whose career was winding down at this point. Andre comes in and tosses Warlord out rather quickly before getting to work on Piper and Dusty. "The Red Rooster" Terry Taylor comes in next, looking like a total idiot. Piper eliminates Bad News Brown, but Brown refuses to leave, pulling Piper out by his hair. They proceed to brawl outside the ring and then all the way back to the dressing room. I'm now wondering if this feud - which culminated in a match at WrestleMania VI - was meant to be a not-so-subtle nod to Piper's legendary fight sequence with Keith David from They Live. Ax of Demolition comes in next as The Rooster gets eliminated by Andre. Ax goes after Andre, continuing their feud over the Tag Team Titles. A loud "Weasel" chant breaks out as Bret and Dusty work on DiBiase, who has now been in the ring for 20+ minutes. Haku comes in next and goes after Ax, saving his tag team partner Andre from any more damage. Smash from Demolition comes in at #15 and we get a prelude to the Tag Team Title match that would come at WrestleMania VI. Bret gets eliminated, but his exit gets ignored (I have to admit to missing it myself). Akeem comes in at #16 and Tony notes that, with 8 men in the ring, we've now hit a peak number of guys in the ring.Demolition team up and get rid of Andre to a huge pop, the number in the ring back down to 6. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka comes in at #17 to a decent response, but with Savage, Piper, Roberts, and Andre out, this one is lacking some star power at this point. Superfly gets rid of Akeem, the African Dream not lasting too long. This Rumble is famous for DiBiase's Ironman performance, but its worth noting how long Dusty survives, the American Dream putting in quite a few minutes. Dino Bravo comes out (to crickets) at #18. His tag partner, "The Canadian" Earthquake, comes out next. He eliminates Dusty almost immediately and then Ax from Demolition. With Andre's career winding down and Akeem no longer much of a threat to anyone, Quake would get a sizable push in 1990, eventually feuding with Hogan in the summer, which explains why he is made to look strong here. Neidhart comes in at #20, teaming with Smash and Haku to try to eliminate Earthquake. Eventully nearly everyone teams together to eliminate Earthquake before going back to brawling among themselves. I like the psychology there - even if it is pretty inconsistent with the rest of the match (where people made all sorts of saves for no reason). The Ultimate Warrior comes in at #21 to a loud ovation...but, rather surprisingly, maybe not as big as the one Jake Roberts got earlier. Maybe the crowd was just tiring at this point? Warrior eliminates Bravo and then mixes it up with Snuka and Smash. There's a great moment here where Neidhart and Warrior deliver chest chops to DiBiase, going back-and-forth as the crowd erupts. At #22 we get Rick "The Model" Martel. Haku eliminates Smash with a thrust kick on the apron but it seems to almost go unnoticed. Neidhart nearly eliminates Martel, but The Model holds on by landing on the apron. In comes Tito Santana, who goes straight for Martel, his former tag partner in the Strike Force. The Honky Tonk Man follows at #24. Neidhart gets eliminated awkwardly, but the big story is how Warrior clotheslines DiBiase over the top soon after, the crowd erupting in cheers. Warrior then goes to work on Honky Tonk but isn't able to toss him over. The crowd is up on their feet for the next entrant - The Hulkster, Hulk Hogan! Hogan comes in and eliminates Snuka with a clothesline and then sets his sights on Haku (who eliminates with a big boot). As Santana tries to eliminate Martel, Warrior ends up eliminating him, the numbers now down to just 4. As Honky chokes out Hogan in the corner, Warrior and Martel do battle in the opposite corner. Shawn Michaels comes out next, but his entrance is overshadowed by Hogan eliminating Honky. Warrior rapidly eliminates Michaels and then Martel and we get one of the most famous Rumble moments ever - an epic staredown between Hogan and Warrior. The crowd goes absolutely insane as they come to blows, neither man able to overpower the other. After criss-crossing the ring, they eventually crash into eachother, both men collapsing in the center of the ring. The Barbarian comes in at #27 and starts dropping elbows on both men, deflating the crowd a bit. For some reason, Rick Rude jumps the gun and comes out before the buzzer sounds. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but regardless, it makes perfect sense that Rude would want to rush in and capitalize on a weakened Warrior. The best bit of storytelling happens next, though, as Warrior saves Hogan from an elimination at the hand of the heels but then, soon after, when attempting to get rid of the whole lot, ends up costing Warrior the match. At #29 we get Hercules, with the #30 spot already known to be Mr. Perfect. Hercules eliminates Barbarian with a back body drop and we're down to the final 4. Perfect and Rude team up and end up eliminating Hercules before going after Hogan. The final eliminates are tremendous, Rude ending up going over by accident when Hennig tries to climb back into the ring after being sent through the middle rope. Perfect hits his PerfectPlex, but Hogan no sells it, eventually sending Perfect into the post and then running roughshod over him before tossing him all the way over the top turnbuckle. One of the best, most star-studded Royal Rumbles ever. (4/5)

With a Kwang Score of 2.6-out-of-5, the 1990 Royal Rumble is not super impressive by "quantifiable" metrics. None of the undercard or midcard matches deliver, though fans of old school NWA-style wrestling may enjoy the Garvin/Valentine much considerably more than I did. As a whole, though, the show is highly watchable and the Rumble itself is one of the best ever - absolutely loaded with talent and featuring some truly iconic moments (Jake Roberts' using Damian to eliminate Andre the Giant, the first Hogan/Warrior showdown). 

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand