WWE WrestleMania VIToronto, Ontario, CA - April 1990
CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into the show, Hulk Hogan is the WWE World Champion, the Ultimate Warrior holds the Intercontinental Championship, and the Tag Team Champions are Andre the Giant and Haku.
Robert Goulet welcomes the audience by singing the Canadian national anthem, "O Canada," and then its time for opener - Koko B. Ware vs. "The Model" Rick Martel. Martel jumps Ware when he's getting his boots checked and takes immediate control, but Ware bounces back with a crossbody off the second rope to pop the crowd. I'm not sure they had any real storyline build for this - maybe they did - but its not a bad match for what is, a glorified TV bout. Nothing special and not necessarily "Mania worthy," but inoffensive. (1.5/5)
Backstage, Mean Gene talks to the WWE Tag Team Champions, the Colossal Connection (managed by Bobby Heenan) and Sean Mooney gets a word from their opponents - Demolition - before their match. It could be expected that a bulk of this match would be fought by Haku as Andre was at the tail end of his career (in fact this was his last WWE match), but Andre doesn't even come in for a single (legal) sequence. In fact, aside from breaking up a pinfall attempt here and there, he barely steps foot in the ring at all. Instead, this is essentially a 2-on-1 handicap match that ends with Andre tied up in the ropes (after an errant heel kick from Haku) and Demolition delivering their finisher to regain the titles as the crowd goes crazy. Not a great match - not even a good match, really - but the finishing sequence is undeniably well-executed and gets a massive ovation, meaning they had to be doing something right. The post-match shenanigans give us Andre finally turning on Heenan, a beautiful send-off to the character that allowed the Giant to leave the company with the fans back on his side. (Andre would be back for random appearances after this, if I'm not mistaken, but they didn't amount to much.) (2.5/5)
Hercules vs. Earthquake is next. Gorilla notes on commentary that Earthquake was undefeated at the time and had supposedly sent 28 men to the hospital. After an initial flurry of offense forces Quake to regroup on the outside, we get a test-of-strength that doesn't make a ton of sense to me. Sure, Quake has a bit of a weight advantage, but Hercules is 100% muscle and ripped to shreds. Quake takes control and never really relinquishes it as Hercules, despite hitting him with a series of big clotheslines and tackles, is unable to put Quake on the mat. Earthquake eventually lands his finishing move to put this one to bed. Even in terms of squash matches this wasn't a particularly great squash match. (1/5)
Miss Elizabeth is interviewed in the next segment. As the interviewer notes, she had not been on-screen much. She explains that the reason she hasn't been around is because she was afraid to disappoint her fans by not being around. It doesn't make much sense to me.
Next up - Mr. Perfect (with "The Genius" Lanny Poffo at his side) vs. Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. These two had been feuding for several months by this point. This could probably best be described as a carry job by Perfect as his selling and bumping is the best thing about this otherwise ho-hum match. Beefcake was over, no doubt, and the rumor has always been that he was in line to win the Intercontinental Championship in the summer (his push getting derailed by a near-fatal parasailing accident that put him on the shelf for a long while). The post-match is basically a repeat of what we saw happen at the Rumble, which also strikes me as a bit of a cop out. I wasn't expecting a mat classic here and we didn't get one, but this still underwhelmed me. (1.5/5)
Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown is next. This match is more known for Piper appearing in half-black face than anything else. Piper was never a gret in-ring worker, but he could brawl and he could sell and he could show fire - and with the mic skills Piper had, that was always more than enough for the guy. I'm really only familiar with Bad News' WWE work, but I've never rated him too highly either. Good gimmick, good promos, good look, good credentials - but just not particularly interesting to me between bells. Had this match been worked a bit more like an NWA-style streetfight, an actual brawl all around the ring and into the stands, a blood-soaked, weapons-filled melee, it might've actually been something as the best part of the match is the finish, when Piper and Brown leave the ring and things get violent and out-of-hand. (1.5/5)
Steve Allen is backstage sitting at a piano. The comedy songwriter welcomes The Bolsheviks and proceeds to sing a few ditties satirizing Mother Russia. Silly stuff, but better than most of the "comedy" the WWE does today. (+1)
Speaking of The Bolsheviks - Nikolai Volkoff and Boris Zhukov - their match against The Hart Foundation is next. I looked away from the screen for a minute so I missed this match. I wonder what their payday was for less than a minute of work? I wish they had actually worked a match as Bret was one of the best workers in the company at the time. At least the right team won and the Bolsheviks got their comeuppance for having pride in their country? (1/5)
After a quick advert for WrestleMania VII, Bobby Heenan accompanies The Barbarian for his match against Tito Santana. As the previous few matches had been so brief, Barbarian and Santana actually having a back-and-forth match makes this one seem like a comparatively grueling contest (despite the match probably going something like 5-6 minutes?). This isn't too bad - just more of a Saturday Night's Main Event-level match rather than a WrestleMania bout. I like the false finish towards the end and Barbarian's actual finish is sold beautifully by Santana, but aside from that, there's really not much to see here. (1.5/5)
After a video package recapping their feud we get the first-ever mixed tag match (a fact [?] that the commentators play up and is even mentioned by The Fink) - "The Macho King" Randy Savage and Queen Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes and Sister Sapphire. The "wrestling" in this one is atrocious (especially Sapphire), but this is still a really fun match. Elizabeth comes out to a huge ovation, which explains her previous interview segment a little (but also kinda spoiled the surprise of her being on the show). Savage is spectacular throughout, Sherri is terrific, and Dusty Rhodes is entertaining. This match plays out like a Three Stooges episode with the heels bumping into each other all over the place, but the crowd eats it up because the heat is there and the audience wants to see Savage and Sherri get their comeuppance. (2.5/5)
We get a series of interviews next, including a classic Ultimate Warrior promo. Entertaining stuff. (+1)
Back in the ring, The Rockers take on The Orient Express (Pat Tanaka and Akio Sato). I preferred the Tanaka/Paul Diamond version of the Express, but this is still a solid tag bout - in fact, of all the tag matches on the show, this one is easily the best. Jannetty and Tanaka are the stars here and get most of the ring time and there are actually some hard-hitting, high-risk moves performed, which differentiates the match from pretty much anything else on the card. The best part of the match is the finish and Jannetty's selling of the salt-in-the-eyes as he stumbles all around the ring and even into the stands. Again, not a really great match or anything, but comparatively better than everything else up to this point in terms of actual wrestling. (2.5/5)
This one is followed by Dino Bravo taking on "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan. As could be expected with this pairing, this match is not too good. However, the finish and post-match are strong and effective in getting Earthquake over as he repeatedly hits Duggan with his finish. For that alone, I'm giving this an extra half-point. (1.5/5)
Before the next match, we get a video package recapping the entirety of the feud between "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Jake "The Snake" Roberts. At this point in his career, Roberts was mega-over and in possession of DiBiase's Million Dollar Belt (which is up for grabs in this match). This is the best match on the card so far and its not even close. Just brilliant pacing between these two veterans. At one point the crowd seems a bit dead and uninterested - they even break into a wave (which became one of the WWE Universe's signals that they were bored with what was happening in the ring) - but its a credit to Jake and Ted that instead of rushing into high spots (or whatever would count as one in 1990), they slow the pace down a bit and build up the heat, DiBiase eventually landing a devastating a piledriver and then, instead of trying to grab the audience's attention with a nearfall, basking in his own glory and raising his hands in the air, drawing all the attention back to himself. Its a tiny moment in a match full of smart work that accomplishes a ton without either guy necessarily performing any spectacular moves or any sequence looking pre-constructed and rehearsed. The finish is a bit disappointing - but its hard to criticize in effectiveness. Ted DiBiase manages a countout victory (thanks to interference by Virgil, further establishing his importance to Dibiase's success), but Jake ends up with the last laugh, not only hitting his DDT but also by taking some of DiBiase's cash and passing it out to some fans at ringside (include Mary Tyler Moore). A more fulfilling ending would've pushed this one into "must watch" territory to me, but without it, this is still very good stuff. (3.5/5)
The build for this next match is reviewed in pre-match promos by Akeem (and his manager Slick) and his former Twin Towers tag partner, The Big Bossman. The match itself is nothing special, but I really liked the pre-match beatdown that DiBiase delivered to Bossman. Again, its just really smart storytelling to transition DiBiase into his next feud and, because Bossman ends up defeating Akeem rather quickly, cement their rivalry. (1.5/5)
The action is broken up with a performance by Honky Tonk Man ("Honky Love"), the Bushwhackers running off Rhythm and Blues and then Howard Finkel announcing the night's record-breaking attendance.
"Ravishing" Rick Rude takes on "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka next. Based on the commentary and lack of pre-match video, I'm thinking this match didn't have much of a storyline behind it (and if it did, it was pretty minor). Snuka is super juiced-up here and Rude is in full pinball mode in the early going. There's a slight mistiming when Rude and Snuka start running the ropes, the Superfly not looking nearly as agile and spry as he once did. After Snuka misses a splash from the top, Rude hits the Rude Awakening to get the clean win (as Snuka kicks out at 3.1 for some reason). Nothing match. (1/5)
Main event time - The Ultimate Warrior challenging Hulk Hogan in a Winner Takes All match for the Intercontinental and World Championship. This is one of those matches that, at least to me, always gives you at least one new thing to think about. This time around, I was surprised most by the storyline recap of the feud - which leans a bit too far into making Warrior seem like a heel. Watching it back, Hogan repeatedly saves Warrior from bad situations. At one point, the Warrior nearly clotheslines Hogan from behind before stopping himself - but even the fact that he thought of doing it seems heelish. Any which way, the Warrior was still undeniably mega-popular...but at the Skydome, it really comes across like Hogan is still the bigger star, his entrance getting a notably bigger pop. The actual match itself is famous/infamous for its (mis-remembered) lack of actual wrestling, built entirely around on two guys milking a test-of-strength and mirroring eachother's bodyslams. Still, the crowd responds like they are seeing the greatest match of all time. After Warrior clotheslines Hulk out of the ring, Hogan sells a knee injury and Warrior goes right after it (again, a bit of a heelish move). Hogan gains control, though, and Gorilla explains away his no-selling of the injury as his kneecap possibly slipping back into place. Hogan applies a headlock and then follows it up with some chops in the corner, the Warrior now playing the sympathetic face. Hogan gets a 2 count and applies a backbreaker for another nearfall before reapplying a chinlock. Hogan goes after Warrior's back with some knees and then a back suplex. Hogan applies yet another chinlock, but Warrior fights his way up to a vertical position before elbowing his way out. We then get the classic double-clothesline spot, both men left down and out in the middle of the ring. Again, the match is remembered most for these sorts of spots - but what's forgotten is that Hogan actually delivered quite a few big moves (the backbreaker, the suplex) and, though it was completely forgotten about, the Warrior's offense targeting Hulk's knee showed more psychology in 1 minute than the Warrior had done (and would ever do) in his whole career. Back on their feet, Warrior no-sells some of Hogan's offense and hits a textbook suplex for 2. Warrior applies a bearhug and now its Hogan's turn to sell and get the fans behind him (and he's obviously terrific at it). The bearhug segment goes long - too long - but the crowd is still enthralled and when Hogan's arm doesn't go down on the third drop, the pop is huge. Hogan fights his way out and sends Warrior to the ropes, but Hogan drops down and the Warrior hits Hebner! Warrior hits a series of axehandles from the top rope, the referee still out. Warrior attempts a shoulder tackle, but Hogan dodges it and sends Warrior down face-first onto the mat. He makes the cover and Hogan gets the visual pin. Warrior hits a back suplex and Warrior gets his own visual pin on the Warrior as the referee wakes up. Warrior makes another count but only gets 2! Hogan goes for the schoolboy pin but the ref is way out of position and only gets 2 himself. Hogan sends Warrior into the ropes and back-elbows him out of the ring, the fight spilling onto the floor. Warrior whips Hogan into the steel post, another slightly heelish move (even if Hogan was the first to try to attempt it). Warrior miraculously hits Hogan with the Guerilla Press Slam and then the splash, but Hogan kicks out at 2! The crowd goes insane for Hogan's comeback and I wonder if, watching from the back, Vince thought about calling an audible (not that I think he could've done anything about it). Hogan rallies and attempts a leg drop, but Warrior rolls out of the way and hits his big splash for 3! Famously, Hogan kicked out at 3.1 and sold the loss a bit like a fluke, but I've never been bothered by that. Hogan wasn't dominated at any point of the match - but he was eventually down for 3 seconds, the most important 3 seconds of any match, caught with his shoulders on the mat after missing his finisher and getting hit by the Warrior's best shot. The Warrior's celebration felt like a big moment, but its worth noting that even in the loss, Hogan is still given plenty of post-match screentime and the biggest cliffhanger coming out of the show really was "What would Hulk do now?" not necessarily what the next step of the Warrior was. In terms of a rating, I'll knock off a half-point for the ultimately meaningless knee stuff in the early going (which could've been so useful to go back to repeatedly in the match if you consider the finish), but this is just one of those matches that stands the test of the time by being the best possible version of itself. You were not going to get a mat classic or a sophisticated game of physical chess from these two. You weren't even going to get a blood-soaked brawl or two monsters beating the crap out of each other with stiff clotheslines and chops. This was a battle of superheroes with limited movesets that, unlike similar matches of today, didn't rely on finisher spamming. Thanks to Pat Patterson, the pacing and suspense is laid out brilliantly too. (4.5/5)
Kwang Scores can be deceptive. While this show earned a 2.11-out-of-5, putting in the sub-average category, its hard not to have a soft spot for a show as fun as this. Does it run a bit long? Sure. Is there a dearth of actual quality wrestling? No doubt. But the main event is a must-watch classic, one of the most important WWE matches in history and almost inifinitely rewatchable if you're at all a fan of this era of pro-wrestling. Piper/Bad News, the World Tag Team Match, and Perfect/Beefcake are all disappointments, not a single one living up to its potential - but none overstay their welcome or deny the audience of what they want to see (Demolition winning the gold, Andre turning on Heenan, Piper and Bad News brawling all over the place). The mixed tag match and Roberts/DiBiase are not technical showcases but are great in their own way, fun matches built on quality storytelling, colorful characters, and heels getting their comeuppance. If this show were edited down by 30 minutes, it would probably be one of the greatest pay-per-views of all time - even with only one true must-see match.
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
No comments:
Post a Comment