WWE WrestleMania IX

WWE WrestleMania IX

Las Vegas, Nevada - April 1993

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this match, Bret Hart was in the WWE World Champion, Shawn Michaels held the Intercontinental Championship, and Money Inc. were the World Tag Team Champions. 

There a handful of WrestleManias that I've never seen or, if I have seen them, don't remember watching them. This is one of those shows as, for whatever reason, my interest in wrestling waned between 93' and 95' (likely due to the departure of my idol Hulk Hogan) only to be revived by the return of the Ultimate Warrior and the hype for the Ironman Match at WrestleMania XII.

Gorilla Monsoon welcomes us to the show and introduces the WWE's newest commentator, Jim Ross, who then welcomes his co-host, "The Macho Man" Randy Savage. All this pageantry is supposed to set the stage for a tremendous show, but it feels like filler, a dog-and-pony show to hide the fact that this WrestleMania has a very weak card. Bobby Heenan comes out next, riding on a camel backwards in sheer panic. 

Opening up the show we've got Shawn Michaels, the Intercontinental Champion, taking on the undefeated Tatanka. Michaels is accompanied to the ring by Luna Vachon while Tatanka, in a nice twist, is seconded by the woman who had Shawn had turned on a few months prior - Sensational Sherri. Michaels and Tatanka do some respectable wrestling to start things off while JR, Macho, and Heenan trip over each other on commentary. Not the smoothest match and, at times, it gets a bit dull, but that's mostly due to Tatanka just not being a very exciting performer. He's not Mike Rotunda level of boring, but there's just something that's never clicked with me. Michaels goes into the corner with tremendous force and the crowd pops...but then gets brought back down to a lull as Tatanka applies an armbar. He catches him with a shoulderbreaker for another big pop, then an elbow and a tomahawk chop from the top, but on the second one, Michaels catches him with a superkick! The commentators go nuts for it, but this wasn't Michaels finisher yet. Michaels tosses Tatanka over the top rope and JR seems to want to call this as a cause of a disqualification, but can't get his message in. Michaels continues his dominance, taking down Tatanka with a clothesline on the outside of the ring. After a swinging neckbreaker and a dropkick, Shawn slows things back down with a headlock. Michaels delivers a bizarre variation of a victory roll, a move I'm not sure he ever attempted again. He tries it again, but Tatanka drops him with an Electric Chair. Michaels comes off the top with a series of forearms, but Tatanka starts his "rain dance" (essentially "Hulking Up") and nails Michaels with a series of chops. Tatanka hits a crossbody off the top and the crowd bites on the 2 count. Michaels attempts a leapfrog, but Tatanka grabs his legs and catapults him into the corner for another nearfall. Tatanka attempts a fireman's carry but Michaels counters it into a nearfall. Michaels goes for a crossbody of his own, but Tatanka reverses it into a powerslam for a 2.8. As Michaels and Tatanka brawl on the outside, the crowd chants "Sherri." Michaels attempts a forearm off the apron and goes into the steps instead! Michaels pulls the referee out of the ring and dives into the ring. Tatanka hits his fireman's carry and looks to have the match won - but the ref calls for the bell instead of making the count and Shawn has been DQ'd. There's a good match in here somewhere, but it was uneven, only good in parts, and the finish was lazy. The best part of the match may have been Sherri getting bodyslammed on the outside of the ring by Luna, which kinda felt like a symbolic torch-passing in a way as Vachon would be the WWE's resident evil female manager (and Sherri would end up in WCW by the next year). (2/5)

Backstage, The Steiner Brothers cut a promo before their match against The Headshrinkers. As expected, the Steiners control early, eventually running the Headshrinkers out of the ring with stereo clotheslines from the top rope. Rick Steiner comes in and Samu takes control briefly before the Dog-Faced Gremlin strikes with a nasty clothesline and then sends him into the post. Scott Steiner comes in and hits his tilt-a-whirl slam but, after trying to come off the ropes, end up slung over the top rope. Outside the ring, Afa nails him with a bamboo stick (kendo stick) to the back with the ref's back turned. Steiner tries to mount a comeback with an atomic drop, but Fatu no-sells it and hits him with an awesome thrust kick to maintain control. This is the type of physicality that the WWE wasn't necessarily known for but that the Steiners and the Samoans had no trouble bringing to the mix after doing it for so long in the NWA/WCW together. I'm not sure this match needed to go the duration it did, but the teams had undeniable chemistry and pulled out some of their best sequences to try to keep the crowd engaged. The finish was imperfect and, honestly, I'd like to have seem some chicanery to protect the Headshrinkers, but this was fine. (2.5/5)

After a video recap of their feud, Crush vs. Doink follows. This is a smartly-worked match, but Crush is not good here and didn't get much better in the decade that followed. One could tally it up to Crush having to cycle off steroids, but its not like he had a tremendous physique when he debuted years earlier either. A double-chokeslam toss into the corner looks weak, as does his finisher (the Kona Crush), and a spinning back kick he attempts looks about as smooth as an alligator's back. Doink, who's usually technically proficient, doesn't have a great night (day?) either as some of his moves, especially off the top rope, look sloppy and weak. On the plus side, I like how this match is laid out as Crush does come at Doink looking to punish him first and win the match secondary - the right attitude to have considering the backstory. I also like the finish, which showed that there was considerably more depth to the Doink character and what could be done with it than many fans might've suspected upon first glance. This still isn't an abover-average match or anything, but its not terrible either. (2.5/5)

After a word from Money Inc., the World Tag Team Championship match is next with DiBiase and Schyster taking on Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake. In their promo before the match, IRS mentions that they had hired goons attack Hogan the previous night as a way to explain why he has a bloodshot, busted-up eye (the true story, or at the least the accepted story, is that Hogan hurt himself in a boating accident). As expected, this is a paint-by-numbers tag match that is all about ref bumps, chicanery from the heels, and Hulk Hogan making the big comeback to signal the end of the match (though there's not a "Hulk Up" moment). I've seen some people call this one of the most matches of the 90s, but I wouldn't go that far. It is certainly Hogan's worst WrestleMania match in several years if not ever (I'd have to rewatch WrestleMania II to know for sure) and the finish is famously overcooked and meaninglessly confusing. After getting DQ'd for practically no reason, Hogan and Beefcake bully referee Danny Davis despite knowing full well that the titles can't change hands on a DQ and then we get an extended posedown segment that drags on too long. There's just something about this match occurring in daylight, the crowd not feeling as huge and loud as it should, and the crowded commentary that makes the whole presentation lackluster and plastic. Say what one will about the Hogan/Slaughter and Hogan/Sid main events, but to a 7 or 8 year-old kid, those still felt like big, historical "must win" events. This match felt like a step down for the Hulkster, but Hogan himself felt lesser too - less popular, less important, less relevant. He'd prove in WCW that there was still a large market of fans who hadn't tired of his act (his series against Flair in 94' set PPV records for the company), but even that run lasted only a couple years before the red-and-yellow had to be traded out for something darker. (1.5/5)

Before his match, Mr. Perfect cuts a promo about his opponent, "The Narcissist" Lex Luger. Luger gets a tremendous entrance, but its Mr. Perfect's theme song that gets the huge pop. A good exchange of wristlocks to start things out as the commentators continue to drill it into the audience's head that Luger is a "knockout artist" and knocked out Perfect and Bret Hart earlier in the weekend at a WrestleMania brunch (we never see footage of it). The match continues to go back-and-forth with neither man getting a clear advantage. Perfect takes a great bump into a turnbuckle and Luger goes to work on Perfect's notoriously weakened lower back. Luger attempts to a steal a pin, but the ref catches him cheating. He hits a powerslam off the ropes but Perfect kicks out at 2. Hennig tries for a sunset flip but only gets 2, then locks in a sleeper that Luger escapes by backing into the corner. Because of the heat, because of the back story, and because Perfect puts on an excellent performance, this is clearly the match of the night thus far. Luger looks gassed at times and some of his bumps look labored and awkward, but what hurts this match most is the screwy finish. Luger was clearly getting the big push moving forward, so why not have him defeat Perfect clean in the middle of the ring? Lex strikes him with his forearm knockout after the match anyway. I'd still consider this at least half-a-notch above the opener in terms of ranking matches on this show. According to legend (and a shoot interview with Lex), the match was laid out to be even better but Hennig pulled a rib on him and pretended to blank out the whole match. The post-match angle with Shawn Michaels is cool and unexpected and enough to bump this up a half-point for me. (3/5)

On a show full of notoriously bad matches, this one might be the most unloved - Giant Gonzalez vs. The Undertaker. As I mentioned in my review of the 93' Royal Rumble, maybe my most lingering question about Gonzalez is whether or not his act would've gotten over if they had not decked him out in the dumbest bodysuit ever created. Gonzalez strikes first but Taker essentially no sells his first few shots. It really is remarkable how small Taker looks next to Gonzalez. Taker hits an Old School, but the Giant won't go down. Gonzalez applies a headlock and Taker drops to a knee, the Deadman looking weaker than he ever had before. Considering this match's reputation, it really isn't all that bad. The Undertaker, forced to carry a match by showing vulnerability and providing 90% of the movement, does as good a job as possible. He throws himself into the stairs, protects himself and his character with every bump, and though the match is far from a technical classic, the crowd is into it for the spectacle it is. The finish is disappointing and doesn't quite make sense as Gonzalez wasn't really in all that much trouble. Plus, chloroform...? There's just no psychology to how this match ends. A point-and-a-half awarded for Taker's performance and this match not running longer than 10 minutes and another half-point for the post-match, which is phenomenal for two reasons - (a) the crowd chants for Hogan (which shows that they were primed for what would happen after the main event) and (b) the Undertaker's recovery and rush to the ring shows an urgency and intensity that we had not seen from the Deadman and gets the biggest reaction of the show up to this point because it is absolutely awesome. (1.5/5)

Hulk Hogan cuts a promo and states that he would like to challenge whoever the winner of this main event is. He sure didn't wait very long...

Main event time - Bret "The Hitman" Hart defending the WWE Championship against Yokozuna. Bret takes the fight to Yoko, but Yoko uses his strength to shrug him off and send him into the mat. Bret gets a big pop for outsmarting Yoko and tripping him up with the bottom rope in order to put him on his back. He hits his patented elbow drop and the crowd goes wild. Bret tries to rock him with a pair of clotheslines, but Yoko won't go down and hits one of his own to regain control. From here, the match continues to be all about Bret using his quickness, agility, and speed to try to tire out Yoko and catch him with his best shot. Everything Bret does is just so smart and there are some terrific twists to this match, most notably an unexpected exposed turnbuckle spot that allows Bret to apply the Sharpshooter only for Fuji to throw salt in his eyes! Somehow, in less than 10 minutes, Bret and Yoko absolutely exceeded just about everyone's expectations and showed off remarkable chemistry that I'm not sure we ever really got to see fully blossom. Hogan comes out almost immediately and for some reason, Fuji and Yoko challenge him immediately and now we've got... 

Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna in an impromptu title match. Hogan doesn't even have his shirt off when he comes into the ring. Hogan dodges another salt-throw, hits a couple big right hands and his leg drop, and we've got a new champion. It doesn't make a ton of sense and its not even worth rating, really, because its more angle than match. But the Bret/Yoko match? An underrated glimpse of what could've been an all-time great title fight thanks to Bret's incredible storytelling ability and Yoko being at his physical peak. (3/5)

Known as one of - if not the - worst WrestleMania of all time, the best thing about WrestleMania IX might be that it runs under 4 hours. Unlike the next year's WrestleMania X, which is fondly remembered mostly because it features a fantastic opener, a legendary ladder match, and doesn't end with Hulk Hogan winning the title, this show doesn't have a single "must see" match or even a single bout that comes close to it. The best or most entertaining moments on the show are actually the angles that play out - the Undertaker recovering from a chloroform attack to kick Giant Gonzalez's ass, the transition from the Perfect/Luger feud to a Perfect/Michaels rivalry, the finish to the Crush/Doink match. But because this show doesn't give the babyfaces their wins, asks more questions than it answers, and looks like its taking place at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, it doesn't feel like the culmination of a year's worth of stories - it feels like the prelude to a better, more satisfying show where heroes defeat villains and storylines reach their conclusion. With a Kwang Rating of 2.29-out-of-5, I'm probably more positive about this show than most would be, but that's not to say I'd recommend it...

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver