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A 4-way WWE Tag Team Championship match is our opener as The Miz and John Morrison defend the titles against Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins, Jesse and Festus, and the son-and-father duo of Hornswoggle and Finlay. When people talk about the WWE not caring about their tag division for years at a time, this is the sort of match that they could point to. Miz and Morrison were an entertaining team, but none of these other teams were particularly over and even 'Swoggle and Finlay had run their course in terms of bringing something fresh to the table. That's not to say that Finlay isn't still the best worker of the bunch, but after the feud with Vince McMahon, the act really had nowhere to go but to the bottom of the card. This isn't a bad match and it doesn't overstay its welcome, but I wish they had figured out a more meaningful, purposeful finish as Miz and Morrison deserved better for getting their tag team over and Ryder and Hawkins would go on to do nothing of merit as champions. I also will go on record here and say that Festus (Luke Gallows) is a guy that I don't think I've ever seen have anything better than an average match in the WWE. (2/5)
Another title change happens against as Matt Hardy defends (and ultimately drops) the United States Champion to Shelton Benjamin. Like the previous title change, this one is a bit puzzling as Matt Hardy was over and was coming off a very good feud with MVP. While Benjamin would go on an extensive run with the title, a reign that would run for 243 recognized days (the 8th longest in the title's history), I don't remember any particularly great feuds or matches in that time. Even Wikipedia only lists R-Truth and Hurricane Helms as challenges for the title during that stretch, which doesn't exactly lend any prestige to the title. Anyway...this is a "good enough" match but it took a minute for the fans to really start getting into it and then it ended rather suddenly with Benjamin hitting his finisher to get the clean W. I feel like if they had actually been given just 2-3 more minutes to work in a few more false finishes, this would be much better remembered and Benjamin's reign would've started off on something better than a forgettable 10-minute match. (2.5/5)
After a quick taped promo from CM Punk, the ECW Champion Mark Henry defends his title against Tommy Dreamer, who is accompanied by Colin Delaney. I never noticed it, but Delaney looks like he could've played Daniel Bryan's sickly little brother. This is a nothing match, not just because it only goes about 5 minutes, but because Tommy Dreamer and Mark Henry are two guys that could've only possibly had a good match together if Dreamer was allowed to use weapons. Which...I think he was? Am I wrong or wasn't the ECW Championship automatically wrestled under No DQ rules? Regardless, Delaney turns on Dreamer to give Henry the win, but this should've been a squash anyway because Dreamer was a jobber. (0.5/5)
Next up - Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. A pre-match video package helps set the stage for this one, a rematch from Judgment Day (and, according to Cagematch, also from a RAW match in May). This match is most known for its ending, but before we get to the final 5-6 minutes - a stretch unlike practically anything else in WWE history up to this point (but one that seems to have been echoed by some of Brock Lesnar's more dominating performances years later) - Michaels and Jericho put on an excellent match in its own right that felt personal from even before the bell rang. This is a match with lots of attention to detail, something that it really seems like Jericho wanted to be studied. This level of self-consciousness can come across as overwrought sometimes, a little too "smart" or clever maybe, but in this match, the details all work and because this level of storytelling was (and is) so rare in the WWE, this match stands the test of the time even before the finish. Jericho hadn't really introduced his cold-blooded "killer" gimmick - inspired by the villain from No Country for Old Men according to him - but this seems like his debut even if he was still rocking the long pants rather than the tights. Michaels, meanwhile, is a bump machine (he takes a particularly awesome one on the apron from a Jericho dropkick), selling his ass off but also timing his comebacks and hope spots for maximum audience engagement. Again, there seem to be some levels at play here as even as he's getting his ass kicked, this is Michaels essentially "stealing the show" in a way that Jericho never could. The match shifts gears once Michaels hits his elbow drop and looks to hit his finisher but gets distracted by Lance Cade. Jericho attempts a Codebreaker, but Michaels clings to the ropes and sends Jericho to the outside, and then connects with a brilliant moonsault to the floor. Michaels looks to end it back in the ring but gets caught with an elbow to the previously damaged eye and the match transforms entirely into an angle. At first Jericho doesn't realize that Michaels has been busted open, but once he does, he goes immediately into attack mode. The crowd is appalled - at first because the ref won't let the match continue - but Jericho and Michaels do a tremendous job of spacing out the flurries of targeted offense from Jericho, MIchaels' agonized selling, and the ref's pleading to make the prolonged beatdown actually work as a believable finish without putting the heat on the referee (Michaels even gets a brief hope spot in with a crossface, a nice touch that allows the audience to see that he's not going to quit but that it he has also clearly lost the match due to blood loss). A terrific, terrific match that is somewhat forgotten as people point to their Unsanctioned and Ladder Match from later in the year as the best bouts of their rivalry, but this one is absolutely worth checking out on its own merit. (4/5)
The first ever Divas Champion is crowned as Michelle McCool takes on Natalya. It was weird seeing Natalya with red hair. This match goes less than 5 minutes, which is a bit of a shame because they actually wrestle a good, action-packed, serious match for the minutes they get. It feels competitive and like a big deal...until the finish happens suddenly and Natalya has essentially been jobbed out. To make matters worse, McCool's victory is interrupted by a Jericho promo claiming that the fans have just witnessed Shawn Michaels' last match. Its a shame that McCool and Natalya couldn't be trusted with even 8 minutes to work a real match because the 4 minutes we do get indicate that they could've put together something better than the opener. (1.5/5)
The World Heavyweight Championship is on the line next as CM Punk defends against Batista. Punk had won the title by cashing in his briefcase after Batista powerbombed Edge on an episode of Raw. At the time, much of the IWC was hugely into CM Punk and Batista, despite having some very good matches with Undertaker in 07', still had the reputation of being a guy who "couldn't wrestle." I was curious about this match as I don't recall these two ever meeting again (maybe on an episode of Raw?). I thought this was pretty darn good considering that it was face/face but that Punk was not nearly as established or over as Batista. As Lawler noted on commentary, this was a real clash of styles as Batista tried to use his power and heavy clotheslines to take Punk out while the underdog champion resorted to devastating kicks and knees. While the match only goes 10 minutes or so, its a very solid 10 minutes that is completely ruined by the arrival of Kane. Ugh. I don't necessarily recall where the story went from here - which is somewhat surprising because it wasn't that long ago I watched SummerSlam 2008 - but a quick search through my own blog reveals that Punk would end up feuding with JBL and Batista would face John Cena. So...why does Kane even do the run-in exactly? After the match, to make sure CM Punk is made to look even less like a credible champion, Batista hits him with a Batista Bomb. It really is too bad that these guys didn't work together again because they had good chemistry and they both are excellent at playing "shades of grey" characters so there was really no way they could've gone wrong once Punk was more established as a top guy. (3/5)
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena in a New York City Parking Lot Brawl was next. This wasn't my cup of tea. While Mick Foley and The Rock and Chris Benoit and Kevin Sullivan were able to bring life to matches like this - brawls in exotic locations like boiler rooms, parking lots, and famously a bathroom - Cena and JBL struggled to do much aside from slam each other into car doors, car windows, and car hoods. At one point JBL tried to blow up a car with Cena inside of it and, minutes later, Cena got some revenge by impaling a car holding JBL with a forklift. Seeing Michaels and Jericho bring legit violence and danger to their match - one as straightforward as they get, really - made this match seem cartoonish in comparison too. The finish allowed Cena to take the L without losing too much "face" as JBL was poised to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship the next month. (2.5/5)
Main event time - Triple H defending the WWE Championship against Edge. I'd be curious to know what the Triple H/Edge backstage relationship was as these two spent most of their careers in the same company and were both legit main eventers for several years that overlapped, but had only a single PPV match (and only one other 1-on-1 match ever according to Cagematch). This match doesn't necessarily make me wish they'd had more matches, but then again, this match doesn't really play to either guy's strength. Triple H has never been a particularly great babyface and Edge is a much funner wrestler when he's (a) allowed to play the chickenshit heel who'll do anything to retain his title and/or (b) allowed to bust out chairs, ladders, and tables for high spots. As just as a straight-up wrestler, Edge has never been great, though he and Triple H do work hard and have the audience with them for the most part. Things get much, much more exciting when Alicia Fox and Vickie Guerrero show up with the best spot of the entire match being Edge accidentally spearing his "ex-fiancee." The distraction allows Triple H to get the W but Edge gets to keep his heat because he wasn't necessarily beat 100% clean. Like the previous match, this was fine but nothing truly special, earning an extra half-point for the nasty spear that Vickie took. (3/5)
With a Kwang Score of 2.4-out-of-5, this show is salvaged by an all-time great match between Jericho and Michaels, a decent enough main event, and a very solid Batista/CM Punk match that - with a better finish - might've entered into "must see" territory. Unfortunately, the Henry/Dreamer match is more angle than match (but not a very interesting one) and the JBL/Cena match plays like a much more sanitized version of the stuff they'd done years earlier (though I should give the WWE at least some credit for actually having JBL get the W). The work in the opener isn't bad, necessarily, but doesn't feel worthy of a PPV card and the first ever Divas Championship match is treated like a reason to give the audience a bathroom break rather than a showcase of what Natalya and McCool could actually do - which is a shame because they were actually capable of delivering something better than they were ostensibly allowed or given time to do.
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
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