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The show began with an unadvertised welcome by Stephanie McMahon...yeesh, less than a day after the latest harrowing details emerged about her dad. I really wish she'd have received the Hulk Hogan treatment and gotten boo'ed out of the stadium, but alas it was not to be. I don't think she had first-hand knowledge of the darker parts of Vince's sexual life - namely the sex trafficking, I don't kink shame if everything is consensual - but she's been privy to a whole bunch of shadiness over the years and is a card-carrying Trumper, which means she knows how birds of a feather can be.
Anyway, the Women's Royal Rumble match kicked off the show with IYO SKY and Liv Morgan drawing #1 and #2 respectively. This went a good 10+ minutes before we got even the first elimination and that element held true for the match's entire duration as the eliminations were significantly spaced out. As per usual in these matches, some wrestlers really shined and others got lost in the mix. Chelsea Green was over with the live crowd and stood out, as did Lash Legend, while folks like Michin, B-Fab, Ivy Nile, Zoey Stark, Natalya, and others probably should've been dealt with quicker to boost the reputation of folks like Jordynne Grace (who also got a huge ovation), the aforementioned Legend, and the veterans like Bayley and Belair. In terms of big returns, the crowd popped the loudest - and it wasn't even particularly close - for Alexa Bliss. Bliss has been off TV for at least a year now, if I'm not mistaken, but is arguably the best female utility player the WWE has had in the past decade in terms of being able to work as a manager or a wrestler, a heel or a face, a WrestleMania-hosting fan surrogate or an over-the-top possessed demon. Meanwhile, Nikki Bella's return landed with a bit of a thud as she entered #30 when, I reckon, part of the audience was hoping for Becky Lynch. I'd also note that Bella, a huge star for the company in the mid-to-late 2010s, spent the majority of her time in the company as an unlikeable, arrogant heel (and wasn't exactly a "smart fan" favorite either, though it is generally agreed-upon now that she improved considerably over the years). Bella was immensely popular with some my male students back in the day - unsurprising, considering I teach kids ages 12-14 - but those fans are now older teenagers and have likely "aged out" of pro-wrestling (if they're anything like me, they'll be back into it in their 20s once they hit their first wave of nostalgic appreciation for the simplicity of pre-teen amusements). The same could be said of Charlotte, who got a big ovation initially, but a somewhat mild reaction upon her eventual victory. Charlotte was made to look super strong to the point of it being a bit too overt. As for Trish Stratus, how many "returns" can one woman have before we just expect her to be part of the Rumble every year until she can no longer physically do it? Stratus will always get a big pop and it is well-deserved...but I wish they'd get a bit more creative with what she can actually bring to the table rather than just shoehorning her into the Rumble every year for the sake of an ovation. All in all, a Rumble that had a few good moments and showcased just how loaded the WWE's Women's roster is...but also highlighted a clear need for the "fresh blood" and "future of the division" to be featured more prominently in 2025. It doesn't feel like all that long ago that Zoey Stark was being touted as a key player for the future and, before her, Shayna Baszler, but both feel like lower midcarders now. I'm not convinced the same isn't true of someone like Intercontinental Champion Lyra Valkyria, who didn't stand-out at all and should've been given the positioning and role of Roxanne Perez in this match. Michin, Candice LeRae, Sonya Deville...all just bodies and the audience reacted to them as such. Giulia and Stephanie Vacquer are obviously very talented, but this match didn't allow either to really showcase their skills and risks making them seem like "just wrestlers" too. (2/5)
#DIY vs. The Motor City Machine Guns in a 2-out-of-3 Falls Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships was next. Loved the CAPW shout-out by Cole in the first minute! #DIY got a somewhat quick pin as Gargano and Ciampa fooled Shelley into believing Gargano made a tag and Ciampa connected with an unexpected running knee instead. Clever pin, if somewhat rushed. The teams were in a rough spot on the card as the audience was definitely a little cool after having sat through a 60+ minute Rumble. The veterans took their time but also delivered some great spots including a brilliant Sabin crossbody to the floor. The Guns got the second fall with a Skull & Bones double-team maneuver to tie things up. The third fall saw both teams bust out the superkicks and signatures before the Street Profits interfered the cost the Guns the match. After the bout, Dawkins and Ford beat down #DIY with a crutch and held up the titles. I smell a 3-way match. Overall, this was fine but would've come off better with a hotter crowd. (2.5/5)
The WWE Universal Championship was on the line next as Kevin Owens challenged Cody Rhodes in a Ladder Match. Rhodes and Owens did not waste much time getting to the hardcore spots as Owens slammed Rhodes through a ladder on the floor and then beat him down with the metal piece that had broken off. Into the crowd they went, brawling through an aisle. A "We Want Tables" chant started up as they got back to the ring and Owens started pulling ladders out from under the ring. Owens set up a table connecting the announcer's table and the ring apron but couldn't utilize it right away. Cody went climbing but Owens came back in with a step ladder and used it against Cody. The inclusion of the mini-ladder felt a "cutesy" at first, but I loved Owens' back-suplexing Cody onto it. Cody went climbing and grabbed hold of the rung but got brought down with a nasty modified pop-up powerbomb. Owens set up the ladder over Rhodes and tried to climb up, but Rhodes pushed the ladder up and Owens had to step off. Back to the floor they went for Owens to continue his attack. Owens slid yet another ladder into the ring as the crowd again asked for tables. Rhodes hit a suplex that sent Owens into a ladder and then went climbing again but ended up snapping off a rung of the ladder and using it against the challenger. Owens cut him off with a superkick, hit a flurry of left hands, and then bashed Rhodes with the ladder rung. The amount of steel in the ring at this point made for a great visual and clearly a dangerous environ but Owens added yet another one, placing it in the corner over the bottom rope. Owens looked like he was going to try to send Cody into the ladder in the corner, but Cody reversed it and back-dropped Owens onto the top edge of the ladder in one of the sickest moves I've seen in recent years, especially in the WWE. It was absolutely NASTY and the crowd reacted to it as such, going silent at first and then chanting "Holy Shit." It was the kind of bump that could've legit crippled him, but Owens somehow managed to get to his feet to powerbomb Cody into the ladder in the corner! Great spot there and another crazy bump. Owens set up a ladder to hang over the bottom rope and placed Cody on it before attempting a splash, but Rhodes met him on the top rope. Rhodes went for a superplex but Owens countered it with a Fisherman Buster into a ladder! Another "Holy Shit" erupted and deservedly so as that move looked terrific and very painful. Both men got checked out by SmackDown staff, including GM Nick Aldis. Sami Zayn showed up and checked on KO and then Cody as well. Owens got to his feet and attempted a Stunner but Rhodes hit a Cross Rhodes! Owens went out to the floor but pulled Cody's foot before he could get onto the ladder. Owens pulled Cody to the floor and Rhodes went wild, bashing KO into the announce table and the post to open him up. Cody hit some good-looking punches, raining blows on KO before joining him on the table. KO with a low blow, but Rhodes counters a package piledriver attempt into an Alabama Slam through the ladder! Rhodes slid into the ring and got hold of the belts to end what was a very good ladder match that may have started a little bit slow and "mid" but ended up delivering an incredible second half full of absolutely brutal spots. (4/5)
Main event time - the 2025 Men's Royal Rumble match, which began with Rey Mysterio Jr. and relative newcomer to the WWE, Penta. Unfortunately, what was a great moment got bungled when Penta was clearly eliminated and the announcers (and referees) had to play like he wasn't. Chad Gable came in at #3 and we got another fun couple of minutes with the luchadores teaming up to work over Gable. The first big entrant (and elimination) came with Bron Breakker at #7, who came in and immediately destroyed and tossed Hayes before dishing out a whole bunch more punishment to the other participants. Breakker got rid of Escobar too before having his momentum halted by Otis. Tozawa was supposed to come out at #8 but, in a neat twist, Carmelo Hayes hit him before he could make his way to the ring. Backstage, Triple H was shown asking someone to replace him and finding...IShowSpeed, a YouTuber I had never heard of before. He ate an absolutely NASTY spear from Breakker before getting tossed to the outside (where he was caught by Otis and then reverse slammed onto a table). Andrade came in and it was noted on commentary that he had returned to the WWE at the previous Rumble...which kinda goes to show that sometimes the grass is greener because he's been a non-entity in the WWE (and ended up getting eliminated by Jacob Fatu minutes later). Ludwig Kaiser came in at #13 and I loved his character work as he took his time to enter the ring but then got eliminated almost immediately by Penta! The Miz came in next and got some time to shine before getting shut down by Fatu, who was very over with the crowd. At #15 was TNA Champion Joe Hendry, who got a massive response. Hendry too got cut off by Fatu before we got Roman Reigns at #16, who got an even bigger response than Hendry. Reigns immediately eliminated Miz and Sheamus and then speared Hendry and tossed him too, which actually drew some jeers. Bron ended Roman's momentum with a huge Spear after a staredown but Roman ended up tossing him soon after. At this point, the only 4 left in the ring were Jimmy Uso, Jacob Fatu, Reigns, and Penta. Fatu eliminated Jimmy and we got Roman and Fatu squaring off to a huge response (with Cole noting on commentary that these two doing battle was a "future WrestleMania main event"). Drew McIntyre came in at #17 followed by Finn Balor at #18. Minutes later, after delivering an awesome Canadian Destroyer onto Fatu, Penta finally got eliminated after 42 minutes in the ring. Quite a showing there. Jey Uso came in at #20 to a big response and cleaned house, eventually eliminated Shinsuke Nakamura. AJ Styles came in next, returning from a lengthy hiatus and receiving a huge ovation. Braun Strauman managed to eliminate Fatu once he joined the match, which was smart booking as Fatu had had a great run but needed to "disappear" sometime in the thick of the match to hide the loss. John Cena came in next to another massive reception and got rid of Braun and then Balor as well (in a questionable spot where he AA'd him off the apron and onto Braun, who wasn't in great position to catch him). Cena and Roman stared each other down as the countdown reached 0 and here comes CM Punk! Great timing there. As Cole noted on commentary, this match was super star-powered. Punk, Roman, and Cena stared each other down as the clock ticked down again and...Seth Rollins joined the party. Dominik Mysterio came in next, a huge smirk on his face. Mysterio hit a frog splash on Cena and then went for a suplex on Roman but got Samoan Dropped instead. From here, we got Sami Zayn, Damien Priest, LA Knight, and eventually, at #30, Logan Paul. The big finishing stretch saw Logan Paul eliminate AJ Styles before we got a wild series of events involving Reigns, Rollins, and Punk that saw Punk dump both members of The Shield before getting eliminated himself. On the floor, Rollins hit Reigns with a NASTY Curb Stomp - it looked like he stomped him with both feet - and then brawled with Punk before delivering a second Curb Stomp on Reigns on the steps. This was clearly designed to "write off" Reigns until closer to Mania season. Punk and Rollins brawled again before they were separated and, by this point, it was down to just Cena, Jey Uso, and Logan Paul. Paul was the next to go and we got an imperfect Uso/Cena finale. Cena's overacting was a bit heavy-handed, his facial expressions loud enough to be heard at the furthest row of the stadium, but, to be fair, it is that "Larger Than Life" showmanship that made Cena a massive star (even if it is hokey). Uso and Cena ended up on the apron together and we got a bunch of teetering from Cena before Jey escaped an AA attempt and shoved Cena off to win a title match at WrestleMania. I was not expecting Jey to win this so kudos to the WWE for pulling the trigger on someone new, especially after devoting so much time to the legends on their last major show, the Netflix debut. This was an all-timer Rumble due to the star power, fan engagement, somewhat surprising ending, and some generally great performances out of Jacob Fatu, Chad Gable, Bron Breakker, and AJ Styles. (4/5)
All in all, Royal Rumble 2025 was a strong show with a legitimately surprising ending. The Owens/Cody match was as violent and wild as the WWE is able to get. The Women's Rumble was a tad underwhelming, but the Men's edition more than made up for it. Earning a respectable 3.13-out-of-5 Kwang Score, I'm giving it a...
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
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