WWE Elimination Chamber 2017

WWE Elimination Chamber 2017
Phoenix, Arizona - February 2017

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, John Cena is the WWE Champion (for the 16th time, no less), while Dean Ambrose holds the Intercontinental Championship. Alexa Bliss is the reigning SmackDown Women's Champion and the SmackDown Tag Team Champions are Gable and Jordan, the American Alpha.

COMMENTATORS: Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, JBL, and Tom Phillips 

The show begins with Becky Lynch taking on Mickie James. Commentary here was pretty woeful as JBL had to correct David Otunga on nearly every point he tried to make, essentially making Otunga sound like an idiot but also forgetting to react to anything that was actually happening in the match. Mat-based open with James really showing her experience though I would've liked her to bring out more of the heel "crazy stalker" persona that initially made her such a bright spot of the Divas division back in 06'. Execution and action are never going to be problems for Lynch and James, but the crowd quieted down in the middle stretch because, despite her credentials, James' (arguably controversial) character was absent. I'm also not sure the finish, which seemed pretty definitive to me, was necessary considering that these two did have good chemistry and the feud is fresh enough to run longer. Good, not great match. (3/5)

Next up - a handicap match pitting Dolph Ziggler against Apollo Crews and Kalisto. I loved the way Ziggler came out and attacked Kalisto straight away, tossing the luchador into the wall before the match could begin. Unfortunately, the next 8 or so minutes were miserable. Crews is a tremendous athlete but is so vanilla the audience has no choice but to reject him (which they did) while Ziggler is in the rough situation of consistently being more over as a face when he's supposed to be a heel than he is as a face when he's supposed to be a face (see Lex Luger in 1989 for another example of this phenomenon). There's a reason 2-on-1 matches where the "fan favorites" outnumber the heels are so rare and this match helped show why: there's nothing valiant or heroic about having the numbers advantage so the babyfaces don't really get to shine and the heel, just for putting up a bit of a fight, comes off as more heroic than he should. I always mark out for a "Pillmanizing" but this whole storyline needs to be reworked before I will care again. (1/5)

The SmackDown Tag Team Championships are on the line next in a Tag Team Turmoil Match, starting with the still-fairly popular Rhyno and Heath Slater going at it with the less appreciated Breezango (Tyler Breeze and Fandango). The first round wraps up fairly quickly, though, credit where its due, Breezango had a fairly entertaining few minutes in there. The Vaudevillains arrived next and were met with a big splash from Slater as the crowd broke out into a "He's Got Kids!" chant like it was 2016. The faces made quick work of Gotch and English who probably deserve better but I say "probably" because they haven't been impressive enough for me to really know for sure. The Usos meandered their way down the aisle next looking like a Samoan version of the Wyatts. I understand that being heels means being less "fun," but couldn't they have just kept their ring gear and made it darker colors? Why are "street clothes" more heelish? Cuz its lazy? Jay Uso hit a nasty Samoan Drop at one point before Jimmy connected with a vicious superkick to snag a quick pinfall on the match's MVP up that point, Heath Slater. The reining champions, The American Alpha, arrived next and the teams came to blows in the aisle, furthering their feud. Gable and Jordan hit stereo germans before Gable launched himself off the top with a huge crossbody. As the action slowed down a bit, the crowd's enthusiasm petered out a bit with Jordan's hot tag drawing crickets. A crafty pinfall shocked the crowd and led to a nice beatdown from the Usos, cementing their status but also adding some much needed drama to the final round (which desperately needed it considering how little credible The Ascension have). Smart booking. The Ascension arrived but couldn't finish off the Alphas with Total Elimination on Jordan as Gable came in for the save. A few minutes later, thanks to Konnor's clumsiness, the champs retained, though, they obviously have unfinished business with the Usos. I went into this thinking it was going to be pretty terrible, but it actually was closer to average at times. Unfortunately, at other times, like when the Ascension were in the ring, it was less than that. (2/5)

After a video package hyping their feud, it was time for the pretty heated Nikki Bella vs. Natalya match, easily the first Total Divas tie-in bout to actually draw my (and many people's) interest. The repeated "John Will Never Marry You" line sounds like a huge spoiler that we're headed to a Very Bella Wedding after WrestleMania but part of me thinks that John Cena still has feet like ice when it comes to marriage. Nikki was sporting some Pheonix Suns-inspired garb, a nice touch. As soon as the bell rang, Natalya took control, showing off her wrestling prowess, though Nikki surprised her with a semi-decent armbreaker, forcing Natalya to bust out some straight-up shots to Nikki's face. Bella, eager to prove that she could hold her own on the mat, locked in a leglock and followed it up with a huge clothesline off the apron to the outside. Natalya played to the crowd a bunch to draw heat, though, despite her hard work, she doesn't have the natural heelishness of a Charlotte or even Nikki herself. Still, even if the action wasn't as crisply delivered, the crowd was fairly into things, especially for the bigger spots and nearfalls. Bonus point for Natalya calling Nikki a "bitch" multiple times and also needling her "Mama Bella" in the front row. I can't imagine that Vince will be happy with her for those comments, but who knows. I'm not sure the match needed to stretch for as long as it did, but its hard to knock the efforts of both performers, Nattie hitting a huge superplex at one point and Nikki delivering a pretty strong spinebuster too. The submission trading brought a smile to my face, especially considering that I'm not sure Nikki didn't lock in the STF better than her longtime boyfriend. On the outside, the intensity picked up even more leading to a crowd-deflating double countout, a non-finish that works just fine for me as, even more than Lynch/James, this feud has legs. In what became a pattern for the whole show, there was a great post-match spot with Bella hitting an awesome spear on the ramp before Nattie hightailed it out. (3.5/5)

Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper followed. The video package before this definitely helped set the stage for this match as I've definitely not been on-board for most of the Orton/Wyatts storyline. The match started a bit slow, as is usually the case when "Bore-ton" is around, but got considerably better as the match proceeded and Harper started to take command, not only on offense but with some spirited bumping (that bump on and off the announcer's table was terrific). The crowd's "This is Awesome" didn't feel wholly earned but, when you look at the rest of the card thus far, I can totally understand the audience desperately wanting to believe that this match was something special. Oddly, had the audience really rallied behind Harper and maybe started some sort of supportive chant, that actually would've made it a bit more memorable and "awesome." Whoduhthunk a hot crowd that "plays along" can actually improve a match? Excellent closing stretch, but not excellent enough to nudge this one into "Great" territory. (3.5/5)

Backstage, Nattie continues her attack on Nikki Bella. Cool with me.

The remarkably athletic Naomi makes her way down the aisle next to challenge the reigning SmackDown Women's Champion, Alexa Bliss. You knew these two weren't going to tear the house down, but there were certain spots that were damn good, a credit to both the relative newcomer Bliss and Naomi, who, remember, came up in the WWE's farm system before it was cool or even expected for a woman to be a well-rounded worker capable of going 10 minutes in the ring. Both women have movesets that are character-based, which I like, and from the first bell to the second, there was no point when it didn't seem like they were both trying to win and take home a coveted championship. The final minutes were sloppy, but what a shocker of a finish! I'm looking forward to their rematch as this was a better than average match and a genuine "feel good" moment for the 8-year veteran. (3/5)

...and another Carmella and Ellsworth backstage sketch. I'm not against this act, but I wish they'd have come up with something a bit more clever for them to do on the show. Like, how about having 'Mella meet Ellsworth's chinless family or something? Just spitballing here...

Main event time - Styles vs. Cena vs. Ambrose vs. Wyatt vs. Corbin vs. The Miz in the Elimination Chamber. Styles and Cena start things off and the crowd is red hot for them, the dueling chants almost drowning out the commentators. After a great series, Ambrose comes in and the minutes they share were, to me, more exciting than any stretch in the 3-way dance they had from a few months ago. Wyatt comes in fourth in a somewhat surprising move and here's where the big spots and viciousness really kicked off, including an absolutely awesome Tower of Doom spot after John Cena fell from the second level of the cage onto the structure's "floor." Corbin was in next and looked like he belonged, dishing out punishment to all others. In one particularly great moment, Corbin hit his End of Days on Cena and, so excited that he had actually taken out the heaviest hitter on the block, ended up on the receiving end of an Ambrose dropkick for his troubles - a moment that was, intended or not, subtly brilliant (Corbin being too inexperienced and cocky to immediately go for the cover, but also being justifiably psyched by his accomplishment). The Miz was the last in and his inclusion allowed for Ambrose to eliminate Corbin in the best (and only) major storyline development in an otherwise very tight and title-focused match. Of all the competitors, The Miz had the fewest minutes and the least opportunities to shine, but made them count with his Daniel Bryan heat-baiting. If The Miz is being set up for a feud with Cena (as the rumors suggest), this match did not do much to point in that direction, which is unfortunate but understandable. Thanks to Corbin's post-match tantrum, The Awesome One eliminated Ambrose and the match was down to four. Cena took out Miz fairly handily (again, an odd decision if we're heading to a Cena & Nikki vs. The Mizanins match at Mania) and the match progressed into a somewhat rapid closing stretch. In a bit of a shocker, Cena went next, essentially leaving two heel "fan favorites" in the match - Styles and Wyatt. The match's MVP, Styles proved here that he, like bacon (I know, I know, super played out trope), makes everything better, helping keep the match exciting and fast-paced when Wyatt could've easily derailed this into overdramatic, elongated theatrics. If Styles is not being used in some major way for Mania, you can automatically deduct some points from that card because he is easily the best in-ring worker in the company. Overall, the best Elimination Chamber I've reviewed yet (admittedly, I've reviewed only 3) and a potential MOTY candidate. (4/5)


With a Kwang score of 2.86-out-of-5, Sunday's Elimination Chamber show doesn't score too high when you look at the numbers, but aside from the atrocious Ziggler/Crews/Kalisto match and the not-so-great Tag Team Title match, the rest of the card was consistently good and even great at times. SmackDown took a bold step in featuring three women's matches so prominently and I'd argue that both Bella/Nattie and Naomi/Bliss over-delivered while James/Lynch was not quite as great as I had hoped it would be (I had somewhat high expectations as a big fan of both). Orton/Harper teetered on greatness during its second half and the main event was, as I wrote in my summary, the best Elimination Chamber match I remember seeing - in no small part due to the bumping of AJ Styles, the energy of John Cena, and a clever layout that never got dull. When you think about how much "name" talent was in that main event, the rest of the card could have been an absolute debacle (see the first and only December to Dismember PPV for an example of how that could be), but smart booking and strong effort pushed most of the show into watchable territory.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand

WCW Halloween Havoc 89'

WCW Halloween Havoc 89': Settling the Score

Philadelphia, PA - October 1989

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into the show, Ric Flair is the reigning NWA/WCW World Champion, Lex Luger holds the United States Championship, The Great Muta is the Television Champion, and the World Tag Team Champions are The Fabulous Freebirds.

COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross and Bob Caudle

Halloween Havoc 89' kicks off with The Z-Man taking on Mike Rotundo. The Z-Man's debut a few weeks earlier at a Clash of the Champions show was one of my least favorite viewing experiences of the year and Rotundo is the textbook definition of a pedestrian worker so I did not enjoy this one at all. The wrestling wasn't bad, it just wasn't exciting and the Philadelphia crowd let them know it, booing both guys during their introductions, getting only mildly excited about any of the action, and then booing the finish. Below average not because the work wasn't good but because this was the opposite of a "hot opener." Extra half-point for Z-Man hocking a huge loogie at the tail end of the match. (1.5/5)

Bruno Sammartino is backstage. Cool.

A six-man tag match follows - Jim Cornette and his squadron of "Dr. Death" Steve Williams and The Midnight Express taking on longtime rivals The Samoan SWAT Team and relative newcomer The Samoan Savage (with manager Sir Oliver Humperdink). The Savage is known more by his previous name, The Tonga Kid, but as I'm not super knowledgable of the Samoans of the 80s, I don't know too much about him. Before the match begins, the teams nearly come to blows on the outside, but the action does start in earnest soon after with Stan Lane and The Savage going out. The action spills outside again almost immediately and the crowd pops huge, obviously craving the hard-hitting action that the previous match lacked. Dr. Death is the MVP for his team, his offense so intense and explosive that the audience has no choice but to react. Speaking of reaction, when Eaton gets atomic dropped on the guardrail on the outside minutes later, the crowd gives the kind of reaction that your average table spot off a ladder wouldn't get in today's WWE - it really shows just how much audience expectations have changed over the years (and, to some degree, how hot a Philadelphia crowd could be in this era). Back in the ring, the Samoans beat down Eaton and Cornette works hard to get the crowd behind the Midnight Express member. Williams come in on the hot tag and cleans house with all sorts of big slams, the crowd exploding (even when Lane and the Savage botch a swinging neckbreaker/DDT spot). The biggest pop of the match might come, though, when Cornette nails Humperdink with his racket, which just goes to show how over Cornette was as a babyface despite years of working as a heel. Solid ending that furthers the rivalry which, based on crowd reactions, could've seemingly run forever without tiring out the audience. I'm not a huge fan of 6-mans, but this one was clearly better than average. (3/5)

Backstage, Terry Funk is with Gary Hart. Funk is looking lean and mean and promises to turn Ric Flair into fried chicken. Not long enough to be considered one of his classic promos, but still a pretty good 30 second spot.

"Wildfire" Tommy Rich makes his way out to a chorus of boos next. The Philadelphia crowd absolutely loathes him and he doesn't give them any reason to change their minds, screwing up a sunset flip on his opponent, The Cuban Assassin, a few minutes in. Rich actually looked fairly decent against Luger at the Clash  before this but here he, in the unforgiving light of a hostile crowd, the Wildfire looks burnt out. Restholds galore leading to an ugly looking finish that may have worked for Lou Thesz 50 years earlier, but doesn't work even in 1989. (0.5/5)

The NWA Tag Team Championships are on the line next- The Fabulous Freebirds vs. The Dynamic Dudes. Jim Cornette comes down with the surfers to try to save them from getting booed out of the building, but it doesn't work too well as The Freebirds are mega-over. Unlike the prior bout, though, the "unexpected" reaction doesn't totally wreck the match as the Freebirds play to the crowd but still maintain their heel work style, dominating the babyfaces and getting in some sneaky cheap shots too (much to the crowd's delight). When the Dudes aren't woefully off-target with their double dropkicks, they actually have some decent double-team maneuvers and wisely stick to what was likely the gameplan going in - brief flurries of flashy offense and Shane Douglass selling. On paper, this match did not have me salivating, but it is far more fun and watchable than one might assume due to the crowd's big reactions and the Freebirds looking like they are having an absolute ball putting the boots to the ultra uncool Dudes. (3/5)

Next up - the debut of Doom, led by "Robin Green" who would become "Woman" but will always be remembered as Nancy Sullivan. Their opponents are Rick and Scott, The Steiner Brothers, who are the first baby faces since the Midnights to actually come out to cheers. What's interesting about this match is how excellent Ron Simmons is despite having only been in the business for a couple years. He bumps great and his offense is surprisingly swift and well-executed. The finish is somewhat predictable as one had to know going in that Woman would get involved and that WCW wasn't dumb enough (at this point) to have Doom get pinned in their debut. A much better, more explosive match than I expected, but not necessarily worth revisiting. (3/5)

The United States Championship is on the line next with Lex Luger defending against "Flyin'" Brian Pillman. Ross and Caudle really play up how inevitable Luger's dominance of the sport is and, at the time, it is hard to argue against them as Luger was not only incredibly over and incredibly impressive in terms of physique, but at 31 years of age, seemed like he was just beginning to peak in ability. Seemed is the key word there as, just five years later, Luger was not nearly as captivating a performer and his star power was in rapid decline in the WWE. I've seen some people call this a great match and while it is certainly no less than average, there are also times when Pillman's wristlock gets tedious and one wishes for just a more defined clash of styles. Instead, this is a straight-up wrestling match with little to no "flying" out of Brian and no through-line or method for Luger's offense. The best stretches are when Pillman is in the underdog role and Luger is dominating, but as its generally a 50/50 contest, the ex-Bengal doesn't really gain the support of the crowd who, at least at first, are much more willing to boo Luger than many of the previous heels on the show. By the end, though, Lex is the babyface and his victory earns a huge pop. Good, not great match that Meltzer rated just a quarter-star above where I put it. (3/5)

A big time showdown is next - The Road Warriors taking on The Skyscrapers in a battle of the behemoths. Like several other matches on this card, on paper, you may not expect much, but the LOD bring their workboots and if you've ever wondered why both the WWE and WCW were so eager to push Sid Vicious to the moon, this is a pretty good showcase as explanation. After some initial slop (two, count' em', two botched clothesline spots in the first few minutes), the match takes a giant step towards watchability when the Skyscrapers take over and Hawk gets to selling (which one might think he'd not be great at, even in 89'). Sid's offense not only looks devastating (his helicopter powerbomb is sick), but he's surprisingly agile here - kipping up at one point but also bumping quite well when the moments calls for it. Spivey may have been the more experienced of the pair, but his charisma level is noticeably lower than everyone else's in this match. Animal comes in for the hot tag and the crowd explodes as they pass the ten-minute mark - roughly 5 minutes beyond what I thought these teams could do and still have me interested. The ratings here are beginning to blur together, but credit must be given to matches that exceed expectations just by being slightly above average. (3/5)

Main event time - Ric Flair and Sting teaming up against The Great Muta and Terry Funk in an Electrified Thunderdome Cage Match! The rules are simple - no pins, no submissions, the match ending when Gary Hart or Ole Anderson, the designated "terminators" throw in the towel on behalf of their team. Bruno Sammaratino is serving as guest referee but does little to nothing until the final stretch, which is somewhat disappointing considering there are multiple times in the match where they could have really teased his involvement (ditto for Ole and Hart). The match begins fairly traditionally and, as the cage is a good few feet away, there's no real suspense until Sammaratino loses control (and makes no effort to regain it) and the straight-up brawling begins. There's no logical reason that the four men decide to start climbing the cage and brawling on it, but the crowd enjoys the spots. Aside from Funk's hand, there's a noticeable lack of blood. Some nicely placed weapons around the ring or under the ring would have really helped this match for me as it doesn't make much sense why the heels would come into this match and not try to wreak havoc with Funk's infamous branding iron (Muta doesn't even spit any mist into his opponents eyes!). Fun brawling in front of a hot crowd, but no real story. This seems like a wasted opportunity to do some real hellacious fighting, but the big spots are pretty cool (Sting diving off the cage wall with a crossbody, for example) and the crowd obviously went apeshit once the wheels came off and the match denigrated into pure violence. Dave Meltzer gave this 4 stars in the Observer, but I reserve that kind of score for a match I'd like to rewatch - this one I won't ever need to. (3.5/5)



With a Kwang score of 2.56-out-of-5, Halloween Havoc 89' is almost like the best Clash of the Champions that never happened. Not a single match sticks out as undeniably great, though fans of "vintage WCW" will find plenty to enjoy in the main event, US Title Match, and at least 2-3 of the multiple tag matches on the card. Less appealing are the opening contest and the awful Rich/Assassin match. As a true pay-per-view, Halloween Havoc 89' probably disappointed, but as a Network watch, its digestible and a fairly complete look at what the NWA was all about at the tail end of the decade. 


FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuever

WWE Judgment Day 2003

WWE Judgment Day 2003

Charlotte, North Carolina - May 2003

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into Judgment Day 2003, the WWE Champion is Brock Lesnar, while Triple H holds the World Heavyweight Championship. Jazz is the Womens' Champion and Matt Hardy holds the Cruiserweight Championship, with both the US and IC Titles still vacant (though, the IC Title will be up for grabs on this show). Kane and Rob Van Dam hold the World Tag Team Titles, while Team Angle are the WWE Tag Team Champions.

COMMENTARY: SmackDown (Cole and Tazz), RAW (JR and Lawler)

The show starts on the right foot with the arrival of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, the co-General Manager of RAW. Huge "What" chants as Austin starts listing where he won't be watching the action from, finally announcing that he'll be enjoying himself in his own personal Skybox. With the immortal words, "Let the beer drinking begin," Austin heads into the crowd and towards his seat. I'm not sure what the point of this was aside from popping the crowd, but its a smart one because, on paper, this show looks like it could get gruesome. (+1)

It's Basic Thuganomics time - John Cena cuts a pretty lame Mafia-inspired rhyme to welcome his tag team partners, the "FBI" (that's Full Blooded Italians), Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli (with Nunzio as their manager). Their opponents tonight are the odd couple trio of the Chris Benoit, Rhyno, and Brain "Spanky" Kendrick. Not much of a match here with Benoit wasted and much of the attention put on Kendrick (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but this wouldn't rank as one of his shining moments either). Inoffensive but openers should be hotter than this. (2/5)

An Austin and Bischoff segment in the Skybox is followed by another tag match - Test and Scott Steiner taking on La Resistance, Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree. Its remarkable how mature Dupree looks considering he was 19 years old at the time. Crazy. Test looks like he's spending his weekends in one of those rejuvenation tanks from Empire Strikes Back only instead of "rejuvenation fluid" or whatever Luke was floating in, Test's tank is filled with liquid steroids. You know you're hitting the juice too hard when you're teaming with Scott Steiner and he looks more naturally fit than you. As for the match, its a skippable as one could/would imagine. Too short to be offensive, but man, this is the type of match that just makes you think - Did the WWE intentionally bring Steiner in to bury him or did they initially actually give half a shit? (1.5/5)

Hulk Ho - err, "Mr. America" is backstage with Gwegowy Helms. Corny. Then its Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri in the locker room with Josh Matthews looking absolutely ridiculous - like he's auditioning to play Guitarist #2 for a bio-pic about the band Crazy Town. Josh Matthews' outfit is amazing enough to earn a point. (+1)

Back in the ring, it's time for a Ladder Match - Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri vs. Team Angle (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas) for the WWE Tag Team Championships. Team Angle controls early, connecting with a very cool two-man gut-buster on Eddie Guerrero. Tajiri and Eddie mistime a hope spot but it at least makes sense considering this is their first team-up. Tajiri knocks down the ladder with a convoluted handspring elbow, the kind of spot that just screams "This isn't really a fight." Despite a ladder already being in the ring, Eddie and Tajiri bring another one in and Eddie hits a beautiful (but utterly stupid) senton onto Charlie Haas smushed between them. Benjamin hits a nasty bodyslam on Guerrero into a ladder moments later and then, with help from Haas, hits an incredible leap-frog drop (for lack of a better descriptor) on Tajiri (who is lying on a ladder). Again, cool spot, but convoluted and a brazen laugh at the idea that these guys should be trying to actually win the match much more than they do. Guerrero hits a frog splash from the top of the ladder on Shelton Benjamin later on, though, at least in that instance Tazz tries to explain Eddie's motivation on commentary. Not two minutes later, Eddie hits (and nearly botches) a sunset flip powerbomb onto Haas and, with help from Tajiri and his green mist, we have new WWE Tag Team Champions. Had this been the opening contest, it may have worked better, but there were two many near-botches and not enough psychology or urgency for this to stand up as anything more than just a fun spotfest. More enjoyable than an average match, but not anything I'd recommend. (3/5)

Segments galore next - first, Austin and Bischoff drinking beer (mildly entertaining) and then Chris Jericho and Roddy Piper backstage. Piper makes a mockery of deaf culture, which is hard to watch but not surprising considering this is the WWE in 2003 and there was nothing "PC" about the operation at the time. The last segment is a video package highlighting the history of the Intercontinental Championship, which is returning tonight and being rewarded to the winner of the next match...

A 10-Man Battle Royale featuring 9 former champions and Booker T! "The Book" is definitely the most over babyface in the match, though Rob Van Dam and Kane have their supporters too. Val Venis returns to his original moniker here, a gimmick he'd utilize (without success) for the next 5 and a half years. Clever final four, with tag partners Goldust and Booker having to outlast their rivals Christian and Jericho. Absurd finish that angers the crowd and could be seen coming a mile away. I think the entrances for this match went longer than the actual contest. I'd call this a slightly below average battle royal. (2/5)

Alright, four matches in and I'd say only one has been even average (and, unsurprisingly, it featured Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri)...

Before the next contest, we see Sable and Torrie Wilson chatting it up in skimpy robes. Sable borrows oil from Torrie, rubs it on her leg and tells Torrie to try some because she's going to need it...which is why she brought it. Cole and Tazz take over on commentary and they do a "Tale of the Tape" (because fans should definitely be aware of these women' bra sizes) and then air a video building up the next segment - a Bikini Contest. Torrie Wilson dances behind a screen and is sung into the ring by Lillian Garcia as the crowd respectfully sits on their hands and waits patiently for the PG-13-rated "excitement" they'll be getting. Sable comes out second and, because her robe is wide open, the audience gets a full view of her and any suspense this segment might have had is cut in half. Tazz goes over the rules (because a bikini contest has more than you'd think). Sable takes off her robe first and the crowd pops as she grinds in one of the smallest bikinis in the history of swimwear. I've had strands of broccoli stuck in my teeth that could cover more. Torrie goes second and reveals a Playboy-inspired outfit that is considerably less trashy, but still plenty trashy. The crowd clearly pops for the heel (Sable) more, which makes sense because she's wearing dental floss, but then Torrie announces that she "wasn't quite finished" and reveals that she too is wearing a bikini that looks like its made of a single hair off an ear of corn. Intelligence-insulting, sexist, stupid - but at least it runs less than ten minutes in total (I didn't keep time, but I wouldn't say it "dragged"). That's good enough for a half-point. (0.5/5)

And the train of lame keeps rolling - Roddy Piper vs. "Mr. America" (Hulk Hogan) in a match 20 years in the making. According to Cagematch.net, this is the last time these two guys ever faced each other and serves as a sad reminder that the WWE has been wheeling out stars from a decade earlier for nostalgia sake and "marquee value" for a long, long time. As one might expect, this is pathetic through and through. Piper has looked better cosmetically, but its actually Hogan's star that has noticeably fallen here. 12 months removed from arguably his last great match (against The Rock at WrestleMania XVIII), the Hulkster is now sporting a ridiculous mask and patriotic colors, repackaged as a last ditch effort to keep him relevant but so beyond over-exposed that his aura is gone entirely. Zach Gowen makes his second appearance to begin a feud with Vince McMahon and, though its Gowen/McMahon wasn't going to sell any seats, their involvement is the only thing even remotely interesting in the entire set-up. I'm guessing this was a strong nominee for worst match of the year and a cursory search through ProFightDB reveals that, yes, Meltzer gave it the ol' DUD designation. (0/5)


The World Heavyweight Championship is on the line next - Triple H defending against former best friend Kevin Nash. Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair come out too, but end up brawling to the back before the bell even rings as Nash tosses Helmsley around outside and hits him with big right hands. When Nash finally gets him in the ring, the bell sounds and we're off for one of the most unimaginative, unremarkable matches I've seen in a long time. Nash hits a huge back body drop on Triple H and a series of elbow drops and those stand as the biggest spots in the entire match. Helmsley sells everything Big Sexy hits him with like gunshots, but its not enough to make the match interesting or lend it any suspense. We get a ref bump around what feels like minute 5 and the match ends soon afterward in a screwy fashion that demands a rematch, but doesn't make it remotely appealing. You can't knock the layout of the match, but you can knock the entire notion that putting these two in the ring together, with Nash so far from even "carryable" and Triple H so obviously in cruise control mode, is a good idea in terms of giving the fans quality matches. The only point this one earns in this post-match as one just can't see Triple H getting powerbombed through a table enough. On any other show, this would be the worst match of the night. (1/5)


Back in the skybox, Eric Bischoff doesn't feel so well and ends up "puking" (just spitting out beer) on an unlucky female server and into the crowd. Ugh. I'm going to go ahead and deduct a half-point for all the skybox sketches because, when you add them all together, they really do hurt the show more than help. (-.0.5)

Back in the ring, Trish Stratus defends her WWE Women's Championship in a Fatal Fourway against Jacqueline, Jazz, and Victoria. Within the first minute, there's been more hard-hitting action in this match than in the previous two combined. Not the smoothest sequences on display here, but when the competitors are on the same page, things work (for example, Jazz and Trish have a good stretch building to a submission). The crowd doesn't seem to care at all about this until Stratus takes an absolutely nasty bump to the outside, easily the best spot in the past hour or so of this show. With the champ taken out of action by Victoria, the remaining three scramble for the gold and new champion is crowned. Too short to even be considered "good." (2/5)

Main event time - Brock Lesnar vs. The Big Show in a Stretcher match. The storyline coming into this one is that Show has been bullying Rey Mysterio (he attached him to a stretcher and slammed him into a ringpost at Backlash) and Lesnar isn't going to stand for it. Lesnar and Show feuded roughly 6 months earlier, so this rivalry isn't very fresh, but the Stretcher stipulation was expected to help make things interesting. Lesnar comes in and immediately the stretcher is put to use, both guys using it to their advantage in and out of the ring. To his credit, Show is in pretty good shape here and making the match weapon-centric does allow for more creative and hard-hitting moments than a straight-up one-on-one match would. Like Triple H, Lesnar also knows that selling for Big Show is the key ingredient to making a good Big Show match and bounces around the ring accordingly, making the monster into a worthy challenger despite the fact that Show's credibility had gone up and down since the start of his WWE career five years earlier. In another wise choice, once the match spills towards the entrance way, they keep it there - which makes sense logically (why bring your opponent back to the ring when the object of the match is to carry them, on a stretcher, passed a yellow line in the entrance way) but also allows the huge metal backdrop to serve as a set piece for more carnage than your standard ring would allow. Things get a bit repetitive, but I'll take Show striking Lesnar with a huge plastic stretcher a four times over seeing these two attempt a scientific wrestling match. After taking the upperhand, Lesnar heads to the back (ostensibly to retrieve a large enough stretcher to carry Show) and Rey Mysterio arrives to exact some payback to a huge pop! Unfortunately for Mysterio, Show still has some fight in him. Before Show can hit his chokeslam, Lesnar shows up in a forklift and launches himself off of it with an unbelievable crossbody as the crowd explodes. Lesnar then lands a very impressive vertical suplex and follows it up with the F-5 before setting up a stretcher on the forklift. Unfortunately, watching Lesnar roll Show onto the forklift is a bit anti-climactic and really shows that there is no better finish in wrestling than a three-count, though, the visual of Lesnar bringing Show (lifted 15 feet high above the ground) is a cool one. Easily the match of the night thanks to a hot closing stretch, some good weapon usage, and the match being executed with more logic than the ladders bout. (3.5/5)


With a score of 1.89-out-of-5, Judgment Day 2003 nearly lays claim to the crown of being the worst wrestling show I've watched in the past 3 years. Saving it from that honor are a small number of things - my adoration for Steve Austin, Josh Matthews' dressed like he just walked off the set of Shasta McNasty, the main event's really, really good finishing stretch. It also helps that, for awhile there in the mid-90s, WCW was unapologetically booking Charlie Norris on their pay-per-view cards and the InVasion PPV happened because without those elements, this could easily be a contender for worst show ever. Still, there is just nothing on this card to worth watching and a great number of matches and segments worth actively avoiding. Easy grade:

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville

WWE Royal Rumble 2017

RATING SCALE: 

Curt Hennig Level – A “GOAT” Show

Watch It – A consistently strong show worth watching in its entirety

Watch It…With Remote in Hand – Imperfect, but fun, with at least a few great matches

High Risk Maneuver – Mostly filler, salvaged by an awesome match or two, for die-hards only

DUDleyville – Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch

WWE Royal Rumble 2017

San Antonio, Texas - January 2017

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, AJ Styles holds the WWE Championship while Kevin Owens is the Universal Champion. The United States Champion is Owens' good buddy Chris Jericho and the Intercontinental Title is held by Dean Ambrose. The RAW Women's Champion is Charlotte and the SmackDown Women's Champion is Alexa Bliss. On the tag side of things, the RAW Tag Team Titles are held by Sheamus and Cesaro while American Alpha hold the SmackDown Tag Team Championships. The Cruiserweight Champion is Rich Swann.

COMMENTARY: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, and Byron Saxton (RAW), with Mauro Ranallo, JBL, and David Otunga (SmackDown)

The 2017 Royal Rumble kicked off with the arrival of Bayley to challenge the undefeated-on-pay-per-view Charlotte for her RAW Women's Championship. Another very solid match out of Charlotte and another piece of evidence suggesting she's the best heel on RAW. Notice how Charlotte doesn't just put on a headlock and sit in it, she actually works the hold, talks trash, and turns her body to impose leverage. These are small details you don't necessarily get out of Randy Orton, for example. Bayley didn't get to shine too much here, but it won't be too tough to build her back up - her gimmick practically demands that she comes up short over and over until, finally, she doesn't. (3/5)

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE Universal Championship was next (with Chris Jericho suspended in a Shark Cage above the ring). As expected, Reigns got booed by a large portion of the crowd. Attitude Era brawling in the crowd to start before they made it back to ringside and the "toys" came out (god bless whoever told Cole to stop referring to weapons as such). Owens constructing a chair tower early on for a finish 15+ minutes later is something I personally like in these type of matches as it helps build towards a credible "death blow." To get there, though, Reigns and Owens didn't take any shortcuts, with Owens delivering an awesome frog splash through a table at one point and Reigns hitting all of his signature offense. Jericho tried to get involved by tossing Owens some brass knucks, but they were ineffective (which didn't make a whole lot of sense). Overall, a very fun, hard-hitting match with an ending that effectively presented a potential storyline going forward for Reigns, but nothing at all for the actual WWE Universal Champion. I enjoyed this one considerably more than their Roadblock match a month ago. (3.5/5)

The WWE Cruiserweight Championship was on the line next - Rich Swann defending the strap against the freshly-turned Neville. I've not been paying any attention at all to the cruisers division (and neither have seemingly 90% of the San Antonio crowd), but found this to be no worse than average. Neville's facial expressions and stalking are great and gave this match much more suspense than any of the previous Cruiserweight Title matches have had on recent Network specials. Swann has some good offense, including a really cool flip-a-roo somethingorother  to the outside. I'm still not tuning in to 205 Live after watching this, but this was a noticeable improvement from the TJ Perkins Era. (2.5/5)

AJ Styles, the defending WWE World Champion, arrived first (annoying) to a strong crowd response to do battle with John Cena next. This one had "big fight feel" all over it, which is pretty remarkable considering that they squared off at SummerSlam and at Money in the Bank (not to mention that they wrestled in a 3-way with Ambrose at No Mercy too). I was in the minority that didn't love their match at SummerSlam, not putting the match in my top 10 of the year or even considering it and criticizing it for being nothing more than an exchange of finishers, a match that basically began at the 10-minute mark in terms of selling and "bomb throwing." This time around, Cena/Styles benefitted from not being surrounded by god awful matches (SummerSlam 2016 stunk), a crowd that was anything but burnt out, and AJ Styles just being that much better than he already was in August. Seriously, the guy is just excellent - bumping, selling, counters, its all flawless. Cena, to his credit, looked more driven and motivated than he's looked in a long, long time (some have suggested that this "fresh look" is chemically derived), in fact, for brief moments, he almost seemed to be tossing in subtle heel facial expressions, clearly having fun with the split crowd. Several really cool spots/sequences in this - AJ turning a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb, an AA from the top rope, all sorts of sick flying forearms and lariats, a really slick submission stretch with STFs and Calf Crushers and a figure four - these two just loaded up their 24 minutes of ring time with action. I'm not necessarily sure why I connected with this bout more than their SummerSlam match five months ago, but I did. I would've preferred a different ending, but nobody is "hurt" by losing a match this competitive. (4/5)

Main event time - The 2017 Royal Rumble match itself. I like Enzo and Cass, but disliked their "introduction" to the match. Just unnecessary after hours upon hours of hype videos. That slight criticism aside, I found the first third of this match to be very, very good with lots of fun moments, including some "mark out" moments featuring Braun Strowman, Mark Henry, and the Big Show. Henry, in particular, looked great getting into Strowman's face. Loved Jack Gallagher's run. Tye Dillinger (and his supporters) got his "10" moment. Loved the callback to James Ellworth not wanting to get into the ring against Strowman and Dean Ambrose tricking him into what would be a very, very painful-looking elimination. The second third of the match was a "cooldown," though, with a number of filler guys showing up - The New Day, Cesaro, Sheamus - that stood no chance of winning. Luke Harper came in at #25 and seemed to turn face in the match, though, I'm afraid that storyline won't be featured too prominently beyond Elimination Chamber, even if it is clear that Harper has been hitting the gym and really doing everything he can to get another look for a push. He deserves it, no doubt, but he's stuck in line behind a number of other "hosses" right now. The match didn't truly pick up from its initial highs until Lesnar came out at #26 and, by then, any hopes of a Samoa Joe or Nakamura debut were pretty much dashed. Has Lesnar "lost his aura" since losing to Goldberg at Survivor Series? I can see the argument on either side depending on the specific segment he's featured in, but in the Rumble, he brought the whole crowd back into the match and transported them to Suplex City. It was undeniably electric. Enzo Amore was a wasted entrant at #27, but #28 finally gave the fans what they wanted - Goldberg. I dug Goldberg embarrassing Lesnar for the second time and don't buy into the idea that "nobody will care" about their WrestleMania  match because the feud has been so one-sided. The Undertaker and Roman Reigns rounded out the rest of the entrants and the WrestleMania card remains a mystery because of it as Taker ended up eliminating Goldberg and Reigns, who seemed headed for a feud against Strowman based on his match earlier in the evening, ousted the Deadman, so its not entirely clear who'll be whose dance partners in April. I don't mind not knowing, though, I was unimpressed with the decision to have Randy Orton end up as the last man standing. I'm not entirely sure who the better option was, but I'll be very, very surprised if Randy Orton is involved in even the third most hyped match on the WrestleMania card. Overall, a very strong Rumble when it started that dipped in quality and didn't feature nearly enough surprises to keep it interesting in the middle. Intriguing storyline progression with Reigns, Taker, Goldberg, and Lesnar, even if they all came up short in the end. An above-average Rumble in my eyes, but not a "must watch" or one I'd be eager to revisit. (3.5/5)

With a very solid Kwang Score of 3.3-out-of-5, this year's edition of the Royal Rumble delivered where it needed to and, as surprising as it may seem for a 4-hour show, really flew by thanks to how fast-paced and action-packed all four title matches were. I'm a bit of a Rumble traditionalist and believe that the top babyface or the top heel should win the Rumble every year (as was almost always the case in my childhood from 91' to 99'), but somewhere in the 2000s, that rule of thumb changed and we started getting winners who would "main event" WrestleMania in the midcard (or even the opening contest!) like Alberto Del Rio and Sheamus. Randy Orton is the next name on that list, an uppermidcard act in 2016 that is over and credible enough in a kayfabe sense to win the Rumble, but too cold to truly "main event" WrestleMania in April no matter what storyline they could come up with. My prediction is that Cena drops the title at Elimination Chamber in February back to AJ Styles and we get a three-way for the strap with The Phenomenal One getting quite "the rub" from being featured with the two biggest "full time" stars of the company from roughly 05' to today. As for the RAW main event scene, I'm thinking the strap stays on Owens but the spotlight will shine on almost everyone else - Goldberg, Lesnar, Reigns, Triple H, and Rollins too. If you're a wrestling fan, 'tis the season when things get interesting and last night's show exemplified that feeling. It also marked the first time that I can recall the WWE putting on a show that bested its NXT counterpart.

FINAL RATING - Watch It

NXT Takeover: San Antonio

NXT Takeover: San Antonio

San Antonio, Texas - January 2017

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Shinsuke Nakamura holds the NXT Championship, the NXT Tag Titles are held by #DIY, and the NXT Women's Champion is Asuka.

COMMENTARY: Corey Graves, Percy Watson, and Tom Phillips


A cool video package summarizes all the storylines coming into tonight's show - definitely helpful for viewers like myself who only sporadically watch the episodes on The Network but always make sure to catch the Takeover specials. This is probably the "coldest" Takeover show in terms of hype, but nobody told the crowd that because they're super hot from the word go.

Tye Dillinger arrives to a big pop and chants of "10" from the audience - it will be a disappointment if he doesn't enter the Rumble at that number tonight. His opponent is former TNA star Eric Young, leader of SAnitY, a stable not unlike the Wyatts. Eric Young takes control early with help of his goons and proceeds to dissect his adversary for a lengthy stretch, dishing out a variety of neck-focused offense including a dragon sleeper on the top rope and a reverse neckbreaker. Dillinger's comeback gets a great reaction and from a technical perspective, he's a very fluid worker, but I don't see "top guy" in him at all (maybe its the haircut? maybe its that his catchphrase is already annoying to me?). Excellent finishing move from Eric Young, but one he won't be able to hit on everyone. As I don't watch NXT weekly, I know I'm missing what SAnitY is all about, but I would've liked the commentary team to connect the dots for me because I'm not sure if they're another Wyatt-like cult or a gang of weird methhead bikers or what. Average. (2.5/5) 

Andrade "Cien" Almas arrives to a fairly nothing reaction for his match against relative newcomer Roderick Strong (who comes out to an equally tepid response). Almas works hard to get heat and is obviously a smart, seasoned worker, but the crowd just isn't convinced that this is an important match and it shows in their responses, which are respectful only to the big spots and most elaborate sequences. Two strike-trading sequences is at least one too many in a match like this. Almas is either missing an unidentifiable piece that would make him a really compelling heel or he has all the pieces but they haven't been put together in the right configuration yet. A very brief, quiet "This is Awesome" chant starts but is so patently undeserved the majority of the audience just ignores it. Strong hits a cool backbreaker on the top turnbuckle but clutches his arm, feeling the effects of all of Almas' work on the limb. A hotter crowd and a more personal issue at stake would've made this match seem more meaningful, but in terms of execution and delivery, this was hard to criticize. (3/5)

The NXT Tag straps are on the line next - #DIY vs. The Authors of Pain. Akem and Rezar try to establish dominance earlier, but Gargano and Ciampa use their speed and striking to keep things even, popping the crowd with some explosive offense. After a few minutes, Gargano finds himself in trouble, tossed around the ring by Akem and stomped on in the corner as the crowd starts chanting "Johnny Wrestling" in support. Ciampa comes in for the hot tag to a huge pop and then scores an even bigger reaction by hitting german suplexes on both monsters, nearly ending the match with the impressive feat of strength. Akem eats a series of strikes and knees, but won't stay down, proving his resilience and retaliating with a big clothesline of his own. Back in control, the AOP attempt a double-team maneuver, but end up a victim of one by #DIY, Gargano back in the ring dishing out forearms. #DIY's flurry is cut off moments later and the AOP are back in control, the crowd trying to will them into victory with their support. Ciampa locks in an arm bar and Gargano manages to lock Rezar into a crossface, but Rezar uses his impressive strength to stand up and drop Gargano onto Ciampa to break up the would-be finish. The crowd chants "Holy Shit" and then "This is Awesome" as #DIY hit a collection of strikes and attempt to put their opponents away with some dual superkicks. The AOP are able to use their momentum against them, though, lifting them up for the Super Collider (stereo powerbombs) and then finish off Ciampa with The Last Chapter. Easily the best match of the night up to this point and a feather in the cap for #DIY, who have again proven how good they are at pulling the crowd into a relatively cold match through storytelling, selling, and high spots delivered at the right times. I'd put this one notch below "great." (3.5/5)

Hey, it's Seth Rollins! Short, sweet, fiery promo. Where's this Rollins been? Triple H walks out from the back and a staredown ensues before security shows up to do his dirty work for him (or attempt to). Even more security comes down and they carry Rollins off as the crowd chants "Let Him Go!" (and then "Bullshit"). Really good segment. (+1)

Asuka defends her NXT Womens' Championship next against Nikki Cross of SAniTY and the aligned Australians Billie Kay and Peyton Royce. I really like the concept of this match as there is no one that, on their own, is really a threat to Asuka - but in a Fatal Fourway, one doesn't even have to pin Asuka to win the gold. The crowd are on their feet for this before the bell, a good sign. Brilliant start with Kay and Royce not getting involved until the two "maniacs" start off against each other. Double German Suplex pops the crowd and Cross and Asuka finally get to trade blows, Asuka delivering an absolutely nasty German Suplex on the Scot, who comes back with a straightjacket neckbreaker. With Asuka out on the outside, Cross launches herself off the top and hits a crossbody onto the Aussies on the outside. The fight ends up all the way to the commentary table where Royce and Payton, in an impressive feat of heeldom, double-suplex Cross from atop one table through another. Asuka, who'd been (over)selling damage for awhile is now caught in a 2-on-1 situation, but Kay and Royce can't put her away. Royce delivers a Widow's Peak Neckbreaker, but Asuka bridges out at two. Royce can't keep the pressure on and Kay can't save her as Asuka lands a jaw-breaker of a kick on Peyton to end this one decisively. I was expecting a more dramatic conclusion and certainly a lengthier match overall as I don't think we really got to see what Cross, Kay, and Royce were really capable of. Disappointing, but only because I expected a more suspenseful escalation of big moves. No worse than average. (2.5/5)

Main event time - Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Bobby Roode for Nakamura's NXT Championship. As has become the norm, Roode gets a magnificent entrance, with the crowd singing along to his theme. Not to be outdone, Nakamura comes in on a Green Goblin-esque glider fitted with strobe lights. The crowd was fairly split here, though I think there were a fair number of fans like myself who were rooting for Roode only because we're eager to see Nakamura get the well-earned "call up." Good but not great first third with Roode in control, which is par for the course with the Glorious One as he's never been a particularly flashy performer. Nakamura's comeback picked up the pace and the suspense level raised quite a bit when Roode played possum to combat Nakamura's multiple attempts at a Kinchasa. The faux injury angle actually hurt this one for me - I'm not sure it was entirely necessary when you could've reached the same conclusion without having essentially a 2-3 minute break in the middle of the match with trainers and extra refs and, at one point, Albert showing up at ringside. While not a MOTYC like most of Nakamura's other TakeOver bouts have been, I thought the last two thirds were very good/almost great. (3.5/5)


TakeOver specials in the past have almost always delivered at least one Match of the Year candidate. This show did not. Still, with a relatively strong 3.2-out-of-5 Kwang score, it is an easy recommendation, especially for fans of the NXT brand who are not yet ready to quit on what was, in 2015 and 2016, often called "The Best US Promotion" (even if it is a WWE-owned and operated "indie"). On the positive side, nearly every match was no less than average - with the Tag Title Match exceeding my expectations, the Fourway match certainly delivering what it needed to in an abbreviated runtime, and the main event proving that, paired with the right worker, Bobby Roode can be a really good "base" for a wide variety of challengers in a way that we haven't seen in NXT for awhile. The Seth Rollins appearance was probably the best segment I've seen from in what? 2 years now? SAniTY needs a reason for existing and Eric Young has the charisma and range to make the gimmick work, but again, its unclear what the gimmick is to me based on this show - this is where commentary would help. Speaking of commentary, Percy Watson wasn't great, but its pretty harsh to judge him on his first major outing. Given time, he'll sink or swim. I didn't think his commentary was so detrimental that it was worth a point deduction. 

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand


In terms of Kwang scores, surprising as it may seem, this one edges out Takeover: The End, the first Takeover: Brooklyn, Takeover: Unstoppable, and Takeover: Rival and fairly handily. 

WCW Clash of the Champions VIII: Fall Brawl 89'

WCW Clash of the Champions VIII: Fall Brawl 89'

Columbia, South Carolina - September 1989

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Ric Flair is the reigning NWA World Champion ("WCW" was still officially the NWA at this point), the Fabulous Freebirds were the World Tag Team Champions, The Great Muta had become the recognizing Television Champion due to the controversial finish of his match with Sting at The Great American Bash, and Lex Luger was in the midst of his third United States Title run. (Eddie Gilbert and Rick Steiner held the US Tag Titles but hadn't defended them in months, at least not at any major show)

COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross and Jim Cornette



Right from the first minute, Clash of the Champions VIII has a noticeably upgraded look than the previous edition of the show and even the Great American Bash show a few months earlier. The crowd is lit a bit brighter as is the ring, WCW obviously attempting to present a show with the same level of flash as the WWE (then WWF) was producing going into the 90s.

Our first match of the night is the Samoan SWAT Team taking on the uber-popular Road Warriors. Animal and Fatu start things off with the Legion of Doom taking control early and forcing Dangerously's boys to regroup. After withstanding quite a beatdown from the LOD, Hawk takes a nasty tumble to the outside and ends up crotched on the guardrail by Samu as well, the crowd booing at the low blow. Back in the ring, Hawk plays the face in peril as the Samoans take turns dishing out bodyslams and headbutts. Animal comes in on the hot tag and takes out Samu with a series of shoulderblocks but his pin attempt is broken up as all four men go at it. An incredible Doomsday Device finish caps things off as the crowd goes wild. As I'm not a huge fan of either team, I wasn't expecting this to be very good, but they kept their feet on the gas and everyone executed what they needed to do. Interesting post-match drama too. (2.5/5)

Sick Halloween Havoc 89' commercial. (+1)

And here we go with the debut of one of my childhood favorites - "The Z-Man" Tom Zenk making his first NWA appearance against The Cuban Assassin. Zenk comes out to a very mild response and though he always had an impressive look and a good dropkick, he's also one of the most vanilla guys ever. Arm drags in abundance, a wrist lock, a sunset flip, a sleeper - nothing Zenk does is remotely special. (0/5)

Cut to Ric Flair being awarded with a plaque from the Governor of South Carolina, Carroll Campbell. 

Back in the ring, Ranger Ross prepares for an ass-kicking by the well-liked half of the Skyscrapers, Sid Vicious. Though he's accompanied by Long and Spivey and immediately resorts to dirty tactics to get the upper hand, the crowd is still fairly in his corner. Sid hits a ridiculous spinning release powerbomb and then a second powerbomb to wrap up the match in under 3 minutes. In fact, the slo-mo replay may actually be longer than the entire bout. Effective squash. (1/5)

I've rewarded points before under the catch-all phrase "Network Nugget of Awesomeness." Well, this next segment is slightly different but no less deserving of a point. Robin Green (aka "Woman" aka Nancy Sullivan and future Nancy Benoit) and Missy Hyatt go shopping, the relative newcomer Green showing off her wealth and eye for high fashion while we hear some corny 80s pop music in the background. Network Nugget of Awkwardness! (+1)

Back in the arena, Green and Hyatt accompany tonight's challengers for the NWA World Tag Team Titles - Rick and Scott, The Steiner Brothers! Their opponents, The Fabulous Freebirds, eat a bunch of offense for the first third of the match, but their eventual cut-offs are so vicious and full of impact that the match isn't lop-sided at all, a real testament to the underrated offense of the Freebirds and their ability to match the toughness of the Steiners. Solid third of the match with a wild ending that raises interesting questions about the motives of both Hyatt and Green. Good stuff, though, not necessarily "must see." (3/5)

One of my favorite cruddy gimmicks in WCW history is up next - Norman The Lunatic taking on hot young upstart "Flyin'" Brian Pillman. The Lunatic and Pillman both put in a ton of effort here and it pays off in the form of an enjoyable match that effectively gets over two messages: (a) Pillman has a ton of fight in him and is a good enough athlete to take on grapplers twice his size and (b) Norman may be a monster, but he can be subdued and outwrestled if one has the cunning, speed, and agility to outsmart him. The fact that it doesn't even last 5 minutes makes it even better. I have no qualms calling this an "above average" match despite its brevity and the goofiness of the Lunatic gimmick. (3/5)

Former tag partners "Dr. Death" Steve Williams and Mike Rotundo square off next. This one is based on Williams' brief stay in Kevin Sullivan's Varsity Club but is wrestled with more animus than the storyline necessarily called for (a good thing in this case). Williams' strength is on full display, but Rotundo's crafty wrestling shouldn't be underestimated either. Stiff stuff between a few minutes when Rotundo slows things down and tries to wear down the Sooner Legend. Rotundo has never been the flashiest of workers, but he was almost always solid - a guy that wrestled like a heel because nothing he did would pop the crowd and everything he did was meant to make the audience want to see the other guy take over. This psychology doesn't make for the most exciting of matches, but it can't necessarily be criticized in its logic. Williams carries this with his feats of strength and toughess. (2.5/5)

A surprisingly very good match follows - Lex Luger defending the United States Championship against Tommy "Wildfire" Rich. Kudos to Jim Cornette for his commentary in this one as he does a great job of summarizing Rich's career since dropping the NWA World Heavyweight Championship years earlier. This might be the peak (as early in his career as it may be) of Lex Luger as an in-ring performer because he doesn't seem to take a single breath in this match - it is a "go-go-go" match unlike practically anything he did in the 90s. Rich is over enough with the South Carolina crowd and a good enough babyface-in-peril guy to make his comebacks hot and engaging. Luger bumps and sells well enough for it to be totally believable that Rich has his number. Strong ending that keeps both guys looking good. The match of the night so far. (3.5/5)

After a taped promo from Terry Funk, it's main event time - Sting and Ric Flair vs. Gary Hart's team of heels, The Great Muta and "Dirty" Dick Slater. If the heat in the opening contest was a 10, this is somewhere between a 10.5 and 11 from the very beginning to the end. I refuse to believe the audience was still "in the dark" about professional wrestling being a staged performance, but the way this crowd emphatically hoots and hollers at every twist and turn is enough to make me doubt that presumption. Sting and Muta starts things off, proving their chemistry at the previous big NWA show (Great American Bash) was no fluke. Flair comes in and keeps the pressure on Muta, landing a double axehandle from the top corner in what would be a shocking occurrence if it wasn't for the fact that Flair's probability of landing a top rope move and not just getting press slammed to the mat goes up by about 900% when he's a face. The heels are able to take control though and the mat just turns into an out-and-out war from here, all four men fighting on the inside and outside, 2-on-1 advantages broken up with forearms and chest chops, and Gary Hart even getting involved with a roll of a quarters at one point. The controlled mayhem is just excellent and that's before Terry Funk eventually shows up in a very surprising appearance. I mean, Hart, JR and Jim Cornette claim all night that he's in the building, but who actually believed it up to this point in the show? Considering that this match is basically just bedlam, it is amazing how much short-term and longterm storytelling is on display. For starters, any time you got Flair and Sting teaming up at a Clash, the History Bells should be ringing in your eyes. Second, the way Sting and Flair target Slater's "injured" wrist (I'm not positive, but I believe he was doing the "Bob Orton" gimmick at the time). Last, the way the heels target Flair's neck in a not-so-subtle nod to the piledriver that sent him home for months earlier in the year. An ultra-violent ending with Flair nearly strangled to death in the kind of angle that the WWE wouldn't even describe on TV today and Sting practically maimed by the dreaded branding iron puts this one over the top. Excellent match that falls somewhere between "should see" and "must see." (4/5)


With a solid score of 3.07-out-of-5 on the Kwang Meter, Clash of the Champions VIII starts a bit slow but quickly turns into one of the funnest shows I've watched in months. The worst matches on the card are under 3 minutes too, so, its not like you're going to have to wade through a bunch of garbage to get to the good stuff (plus, though I scored it deservedly low, a Sid Vicious squash match still kinda qualifies as "good stuff"). While an inessential show in the grand scheme of NWA/WCW history, with such a high percentage of above-average matches to filler, a recommendation is warranted.

FINAL RATING - Watch It

WCW Great American Bash 89'

WCW Great American Bash 89'
Baltimore, Maryland - July 1989

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Ric Flair is the WCW (still NWA at this time) World Heavyweight Champion, Lex Luger holds the United States Championship, and the TV Title is around the waist of Sting. The World Tag Team Champions are The Fabulous Freebirds, while the US Tag Team Titles are held by Rick Steiner and Eddie Gilbert. 

COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross and Bob Caudle

The show begins with a $50,000 14-man Double Ring Double Elimination Battle Royal. The rules are simple but still fairly illogical - the object of the game is to throw your opponent over the top rope or into the second ring, where you then need to eliminate them again, until there are only two guys left (who will wrestle a standard match to crown a winner). The last three combatants are The Skyscrapers, Sid Vicious and Dan Spivey, and "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. When Williams gets eliminated, it is Skyscraper vs. Skyscraper, but Teddy Long shows up to rain on the fans' parade, announcing that his men will split the money. No winner. Not good. (0.5/5)

The first singles match of the evening - Brian Pillman vs. Bill Irwin follows. I remember seeing Irwin in the GWF and during his run as The Goon in the WWE in 96', but never thought him a good worker. Surprisingly, he's pretty impressive here, actually, a natural, roughhousing heel who wants to squash the plucky underdog, Pillman. Flyin' Brian's dropkicks and chest chops are on-point and he lands an awesome crossbody from ring 1 to ring 2 to wrap up a so-so match with a great spot. (2/5)

Great Paul E. Dangerously promo to hype his match with Cornette. (+1)

Back in the ring, The Dynamic Dudes make their way down the aisle tossing frisbees into the crowd because everyone knows that when the waves don't allow for surfing, tossing frisbees is the next most thrilling thing to do. Their opponents are The Skyscrapers, hailing from "Metropolis" (?) and $50,000 richer than they were an hour earlier. Despite what Jim Ross tries to put over on commentary, its obvious that the most popular figure in this match is actually Sid Vicious - when he's not in the ring, "We Want Sid" chants break out repeatedly. Unfortunately for the crowd, he's so noticeably green that Dan Spivey and the Dudes have to wrestle the match around him. Shane Douglas would get even better at his selling over the years and with a better gimmick and partner in Ricky Steamboat, he found success in tags a short time later. Spivey hits an impressive falling powerbomb at one point, but then botches his finisher during an already "gone off the rails" sloppy finishing sequence, nearly crippling the future Franchise of ECW in the process. Ugly gimmicks, ugly match, but at least interesting to watch if you're a fan of Sid or have a nostalgic appreciation for the Dynamic Dudes. (1.5/5)

The Tuxedo Match is next - Jim Cornette vs. Paul E. Dangerously. Cornette is over huge here and gets an unbelievable introduction for a manager. Dangerously goes after Cornette's knee and proceeds to rip off Corny's jacket. While this is far from a good "wrestling match," the crowd is definitely engaged and the managers don't skimp on the weapon shots and overselling, especially Cornette (who wobbles around the ring to get over the knee injuries he suffered from the legendary scaffold match at Starrcade 86'). Cornette eats a series of stiff shots to the face, but comes back with great fire, the crowd counting along as he lays into Paul E. The finish comes sooner than later and the crowd explodes. Fun stuff that adds to the variety of the show and doesn't overstay its welcome. A hotter-than-usual crowd helps this come off as a "moment." (3/5)

Next up, what some would call a "sprint" match - The Steiner Brothers vs. The Varsity Club in a Tornado Tag Match that is all "middle" (meaning there is no real beginning or end, just brawling from bell to bell and a winner declared). At under 5 minutes, there's not much of a story to this match, but there's plenty of physicality on display and you could never call this boring. As I'm not a huge Rotunda fan and, in the mid-to-late 90s, the Steiners became somewhat insufferable when they weren't just suplexing the heck out of guys (and, some would argue, taking liberties with their opponents' health). I'm not sure I would've like this one more if they tacked on an extra 5 minutes, but I also wouldn't call this a "good" match either. (2/5)

The Television Championship is on the line next with Sting defending the title against The Great Muta. Sting has brought along "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert to help against Muta's manager, Gary Hart. At under ten minutes, this match seemed to be designed to protect both guys and point to future confrontations more than actually give the audience a classic clash. That being said, the action we do get is pretty compelling. Sting is full of energy and Muta appears vulnerable for the first time I've seen during his WCW run. This should be Exhibit A in the case for having squash matches - basically, Sting has been stampeding through lesser challengers as Television Champion while Muta has been on an equal tear up the ladder. This match, their first, matters. Simple booking that the WWE gets wrong these days. The finish is a bit overbooked and not necessarily original (even in 1989), but this is just one of the funnest sub-10 minutes matches I've ever seen. A near-classic.  (3.5/5)

After a pretty solid promo, Lex Luger makes his way down the aisle for a title defense against Ricky Steamboat (whose entrance involves not only his wife and child, but a komodo dragon). The build-up to this one is all about Luger refusing to defend the United States Championship in a match with a "No DQ" stipulation - a wrinkle in the storyline that I just don't get. I think the idea is that Luger wants the "easy out" of being able to grab a chair and get himself disqualified at any time to keep his belt (this is kinda what happens in the finish, in fact), but as an angle, I dislike it as it too clearly highlights that a heel can be champion forever as long as they just accept a count-out or DQ loss in the first 10 seconds of every match. The audience knows the shortcut, but wrestling as a genre demands the combatants to be ignorant of that shortcut, especially chickenshit heels (for example, why would Miz ever defend his IC Title in a fair fight when he could just kick the ref in the balls the second the bell rings in every match?). ANYWAY...Luger is surprisingly over with the crowd, though Steamboat certainly isn't getting booed for anything. Its funny, with so many guys, the more ring experience they enjoyed, the better workers they became. With Luger, it almost seems like the opposite is true. He's not an ace worker here or anything, but his timing, selling, and agility are impressive here in a way that I just don't see in the 97'-98' version. I wouldn't call this a carry job, but Steamboat in 89' is just an effortlessly great veteran face, so Luger doesn't have to do too much for this match to get the crowd heated. I particularly like how Steamboat tries to score a quick pinfall in the early moments, really showing his ring wisdom as compared to the 86' Rookie of the Year. As good as Steamboat is, though, its almost ironic that the one thing he'd be bad at would be acting "heelish." The tail end and post-match ask the Steamer to use a weapon and turn the violence up to 11 and the man just can't get it past a 5. The crowd is still super into things, but the Dragon's half-speed chair swings are just ugly. Another near-classic that just falls slightly below greatness for me due to the finish. (3.5/5)

And it's time for The Match Beyond...War Games - The Road Warriors, "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, and The Midnight Express taking on The Samoan SWAT Team and The Fabulous Freebirds. Jimmy "Jam" Garvin starts things out for the heels against the babyface side's most well-rounded grappler, "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton. Basic back-and-forth action for the next five minutes before Gordy comes in and the Freebirds enjoy their two-on-one advantage, beating the tar out of Eaton. "Dr. Death" comes in to a huge ovation and proceeds to deliver an insane press slam to Terry Gordy, raising him into the roof of the cage repeatedly before putting him to the mat in an incredible feat of strength. Samu comes in next and immediately goes for Williams while Garvin continues his onslaught on Eaton. Road Warrior Animal evens the sides and the crowd pops huge as he decimates everyone he crosses path with. Animal hits a huge tackle from one ring to the other and the arena just goes bonkers. Fatu joins the fray as JR notes Hayes' cowardice in not volunteering to go in next. "Sweet" Stan Lane comes in next and starts tossing guys into the cage walls while Hayes paces around the outside in apparent fear of what he's about to get himself into. The future Dok Hendrix comes in with a lot of energy, strutting and dancing after helping his side take over the match. A brief "We Want Hawk" chant starts in response to Hayes' boastful rooster act and the crowd explodes for his entry into the match. With all men in the ring, the match devolves into a bit of a nonsensical, directionless brawl not unlike the filler minutes of a Royal Rumble. Hawk hits a huge clothesline off the top onto Garvin and follows with a neckbreaker, strapping in a hangman submission to put the match to an end. Quality, logical finish with the most tired man calling it quits to a vicious finisher from the freshest guy. Good post-match too, with Animal getting beaten down by the heels in the ring before the babyfaces triumphantly chase off their opponents. Yet another match that I wouldn't quite call "must watch" for modern viewers, but pretty close to it and definitely above average. (3/5)

Backstage, the World Champion Ric Flair stands with Gordon Solie and delivers an understated, solemn, and sober interview. Not the promo style that made him a legend. 

Main event time - Terry Funk challenging Ric Flair for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. Funk is accompanied by Gary Hart, but the Funker gets all the attention here, his mannerisms during his entrance just incredible to watch. Flair comes out to a huge pop and with an excellently-produced entrance, looking like a million bucks walking. From the first punch swung the heat in this match is just incredible. Flair is in rare form here, working as an angry, fiery babyface that couldn't care less about "wrestling" or even his title - he wants to tear Funk apart and it shows with every chop. Funk is equally great, bumping all over the ring and making it clear that while Flair is the better man, Funk is the one who deserves the "dirtiest player in the game" moniker. Not every move is executed perfectly, but this only adds to the realism of the match. Eventually both guys get color and the intensity goes from 10 to 12. The finish is fantastic - clean without being definitive or feud-ending - but the post-match work is what pushes this entire main event into classic territory. The Great Muta shows up and all hell breaks loose for the next ten minutes, JR and Caudle literally unable to wrap up the show because there's a violent fight going on 5 feet away from them. Rarely do I finish watching a show and get excited about watching the next one - this is one of those times and it has everything to do with Funk and Flair's performance. (4.5/5)


I've seen some call Great American Bash 89' one of the best pay-per-views in NWA/WCW history and I must admit to not getting the hype. As good as the main event is (and it is spectacular), nothing else on the card even comes close to matching its intensity, brutality, or heat. Luger/Steamboat is a near-great match but suffers a slight bit from its convoluted beginning and end - these two could've tore the roof off the place with a straight-up match, so the stipulation nonsense is unnecessary. Muta/Sting is a really fun 8 minutes...but at just 8 minutes, its no epic. The War Games match is short on highlights, easily one of the lesser versions of the storied stipulation match that I've seen. With a score of 2.72-out-of-5, this show falls right into the category of...

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver