WWE Vengeance 2003

WWE Vengeance 2003
Denver, Colorado - July 2003

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this SmackDown-exclusive event, Brock Lesnar is the reigning WWE World Champion, the vacant US Championship will be decided, and the WWE Tag Team Championships are held by the World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. Rey Mysterio is the reigning Cruiserweight Champion going into the show, but is going for the Tag Titles on the show.

COMMENTARY: Michael Cole and Tazz

Talk about an opening contest for the first ever Smackdown-exclusive pay-per-view - Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit to kick things off for the vacant United States Championship. Evenly matched, fast-paced wrestling to start things off with the longtime rivals trading pin attempts and hip tosses. Guerrero tries to slow things down by applying a side headlock and is able to keep it latched on despite some impressive escapes by the Crippler. Benoit is eventually able to break out and hit a shoulderbreaker but can't lock in his crossface. To the outside they go, Benoit launching himself for a suicide dive through the middle ropes. In the ring, Benoit works to weaken Guerrero's arms with a half nelson on the mat but its not long before both men are back on their feet and the match returns to a breakneck pace, the crowd popping big for a stiff chop from Benoit and a flashy hurricanrana from Eddie. Minutes later, Benoit hits a back suplex off the top rope (!) for two. Benoit follows it up with two more german suplexes and then a Crippler Crossface in the center of the ring. Guerrero is able to reach the ropes with his right leg, though, breaking the hold. Guerrero gets a second wind, though, and is able to piece together a trio of suplexes of his own - two straight-up vertical and one superplex. Guerrero goes for his frog splash but Benoit rolls away at the last possible moment, avoiding most of the contact. Back on his feet, Benoit uses his strength to spike Guerrero back to the mat with a powerbomb for another two. Again Benoit goes for the crossface, but again Guerrero reaches the ropes. The referee ends up knocked out from a collision with Benoit and Eddie grabs the US Championship. After striking Benoit with the gold and then landing a spot-on frog splash, it looks like Guerrero has the match in the bag but somehow Benoit kicks out at two! Guerrero grabs the belt again and knocks out the ref, but tries to make it look like Benoit was the culprit. As Eddie tries to wake the ref, Benoit locks in the crossface as the crowd goes wild and Eddie taps repeatedly (with the ref still down and out). The shenanigans continue with the ref getting hit with a Benoit headbutt and Rhyno running in and seemingly turning heel all leading to a third and final frog splash to wrap things up. The first 2/3rds of this match are undeniably great and I wasn't opposed to things getting a little gimmicky for the final act, but the overbooking and Rhyno cameo nudged this one out of all-time classic territory for me. Still, a very good opener. (3.5/5)

Vince and Steph are backstage. They argue about what Kane did to Linda on RAW but Steph doesn't wanna hear about it. 

An "Indecent Proposal Match" is next - Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble with Gunn's valet, Torrie Wilson, on the line. The build-up to this match made pretty much no sense, as Gunn had defeated Noble on SmackDown a couple weeks before and it was Torrie Wilson who issued the challenge, putting herself on the line for no reason at all (much to Gunn's confusion). Just stupid. Noble brings a suitcase full of sex toys in it to make sure the sleaze level of this match doesn't waver below Full Sleaze. Noble and Gunn are such dependable hands that the wrestling in this match is actually good-to-great, well above what the storyline deserved. Gunn sells a damaged knee from early on which helps explain why Noble, the noticeably smaller athlete is able to maintain some control. Nidia makes her way down the aisle, obviously upset with her "boyfriend" for his amorous intentions with Torrie. Well-executed sequence leading to the finish - I can't support an angle like this, but in terms of match quality, this exceeded my expectations considerably. (3/5)

Funaki is backstage with the APA. The Easter Bunny hops across the screen. Did this show not happen 2 full months after Easter?

It is now time for the APA Invitational - before the match, off the side of the stage there is a bar set up where various workers are drinking while Tony Chimel announces the various teams and performers who will be competing, including some special guests like Brother Love and Doink. Finally, The APA themselves show up, drinks in hand. JBL grabs a mic and explains the rules of the contest - basically, the last man drinking wins. Brother Love grabs the mic, though, and asks for everyone to participate in a short group prayer. As anyone remotely familiar with the genre of pro-wrestling would guess, things turn into a brawl with all sorts of table spots and weapon smashes and whatnot. Even compared to similar comedy brawls or gimmick battle royals this one is pretty tedious. Filler on pay-per-view was a pretty big insult to the fans who actually spent $30+ to see shows like this, but even in the Network Era this would be a waste of time. I'll give it a point just because there is a little bit of enjoyment in looking at some of these guys and wondering whatever happened to them. (1/5)

Billy Kidman and Rey Mysterio challenge the World's Greatest Tag Team, Haas and Benjamin, next. Benjamin and Mysterio start things off, Shelt bringing Rey to the mat and keeping him there using his collegiate wrestling background. There's a timing issue early, but they right themselves with a big hurricanrana spot followed by Kidman locking in some airplane headscissors. Haas comes in to try to slow things down, but Kidman keeps the speed up and helps Rey connect with a crowd-pleasing guillotine leg drop from the top rope. Moments later, Haas hits a weird kickout inverted spinebuster that looks vicious and then a piledriver slam - honestly, if you were to just look at Haas here you'd think he was destined for a serious singles run as a heel because his offense and demeanor are nasty. Its important to note how hot the crowd is for this match, especially for Mysterio - rising on their feet in unison for a 619 tease and then breaking out into a "Holy Shit" chant for Billy Kidman hitting a 7 Year Itch from the top rope to the arena floor! Back in the ring, Kidman can get only get two and the crowd is rightly pissed but no doubt pleased that the match will continue. With Mysterio momentarily distracting the ref, Benjamin capitalizes and Kidman ends up in double-team trouble. In a great moment of tag wrestling, Kidman is able to get a tag in - but Chioda misses it and sends Mysterio back out, leading to some more punishment to the former Flock member. Shelton hits a powerbomb, but when he attempts another, Kidman is able to reverse it and Mysterio hits a somersault dropkick followed by an enziguiri on a hot tag! Everything Rey does is beautiful, but even a springboard-assisted DDT isn't enough to put Benjamin down. Haas comes in, but thanks to some help from Kidman he ends up in an unfortunate position for the 619. Rey follows it with a West Coast Pop but poor positioning from Kidman prevents him from getting the three count as Chioda is too busy tending to his partner. The match continues and we get one of the most sensational nearfalls I think I've seen this decade - a very loud "Bullshit" chant starting following Chioda's count. The actual finish follows somewhere around a minute later and, though its unclear if its 100% clean, it doesn't really matter - this is an almost flawless tag team match where everybody comes out of it looking better, including the announcers, who did an amazing job of hyping the backgrounds, experiences, and talents of all the competitors. (4/5)


A clip from the previous week's SmackDown helps give us some background for the next match - a no-countout cat fight between General Manager Stephanie McMahon and Sable. In this match you will see some of the worst things ever - worst hair toss, worst spear, worst Lou Thesz Press. There were some positives, though, specifically Stephanie's convincing fire and the last bump of the match. Unfortunately, even that last bump is weakened a bit by Steph's stupid melodramatic selling after the match. (0.5/5)

A video package recaps the feud leading up to the next match - John Cena vs. The Undertaker. This is one of the more interesting matches I've covered on this blog as we're talking about two of the biggest stars in WWE history. Context is important here, though. In 2003, Cena was still an up-and-comer while The Undertaker was in his BikerTaker persona. This is like if "Stunning" Steve had wrestled Hulk Hogan in WCW in 94' - you know the outcome, but the fun is seeing how much the main eventer is going to give the blue chipper and how much of the future can be seen in the past. This match offers plenty to fans seeking that sort of experience - even in his white rapper gimmick with an arsenal of moves much thinner than the one he utilizes 14 years later, Cena wrestles "big," his timing and selling lending main event-level drama to what was essentially an upper-midcard-at-best match. The layout, criticized at the time, holds up much better with the benefit of a dozen years of seeing Cena basically wrestling the opposite match of this. In 2003, Cena came in with bravado, tried to step to Taker with brawling, and only had a shot when Taker himself got too cocky. In the end, Cena's arrogance cost him the match anyway - the lesson not sinking in after getting squashed for the first 5 minutes and still obviously not learned when he finally has the Deadman literally on the ropes. Recommended viewing not just because its a solid match, but because of how interesting a match it is. (3.5/5)

One of the most shameful storylines ever continues next - Vince McMahon wrestling the one-legged Zach Gowan because, well, as Vince put it, beating up a one-legged man is the one thing he hasn't done. McMahon dominates early and no matter how much you tell yourself that Gowan is a trained wrestler who is fully "in" on what is happening, watching McMahon clothesline him out of his boot is still cringeworthy. As the match continues, McMahon finds himself in trouble and the crowd loves it, rallying behind Gowan, whose crowd-pleasing, high-flying offense is amazing to watch. Like so many of the better Vince matches, the twists and turns are fun and logical - Gowan working on McMahon's leg, Gowan failing to finish Vince with the same moonsault he took out Big Show with, the addition of a chair and way, way more blood than any match has ever called for. This was never going to be a classic and its no doubt a distasteful match in more ways than one, but it was more entertaining than a typical match. (3/5)

Before our main event, a video package recounts Kurt Angle's career and the near-tragic turn it took at WrestleMania XIX when Angle competed against Brock Lesnar with a broken neck. Angle came back two months after the show and Lesnar agreed to put up his title...but Big Show had other plans, bothered that the former champ was jumping to the head of the line - hence, the next match...

Main event time - Brock Lesnar defending the WWE Championship against The Big Show and Kurt Angle in a Triple Threat. Big Show takes control early, neither Lesnar or Angle able to take the big man off his feet. Angle is eventually able to gain some traction by grabbing a trash can, the match very quickly degenerating into a sports-entertainment bout more than a wrestling contest. Lesnar and Angle team up to (weakly) chokeslam Big Show. Lesnar hits an F-5 on Angle, but the Gold Medalist wisely rolls out of the ring. Lesnar then does the same to Show, but Angle pulls the ref out of the ring from the outside at 2! Lesnar heads out to punish Angle and ends up busting him open by sending him face first into the post. Back in the ring, Lesnar goes after Big Show and after some back and forth, ends up in the position to hit Show with a running powerbomb for a loud Holy Shit chant! Angle comes in with a chair, though, first bashing Lesnar in the back and then striking him straight to the head with the kind of shot you just won't see in the WWE post-2005 or so. Angle and Show are on the outside now and the ridiculousness continues, this time as Angle hits Show with an Angle Slam through an announcer's table! Lesnar and Angle make their way back to the ring, both cut open, and its Angle who ends up striking first, Lesnar selling big time for Angle's rights before rallying a bit himself and tossing his rival out of the ring. After sending Lesnar into the stairs, Angle takes control and connects with a German Suplex and then an insane Release German that flips Lesnar inside out! Angle tries to finish him off with Angle Slam, but Lesnar connects with a spinebuster for two. Lesnar locks in a rear naked choke that Tazz wisely plays up on commentary - not only because its the move he took Hulk Hogan out with months earlier, but because its not dissimilar to Tazz's own Tazmission. Show comes back in to break things up and hits a double chokeslam, pinning both guys for two. A low blow cuts off Big Show's momentum and we're back to Lesnar/Angle, with Angle briefly locking in the Ankle Lock before Show cuts him off. Angle hits an Angle Slam on Show and then, in a shocking finish, does the same to Lesnar to finish him off 100% clean. Very good, surprisingly clean main event, though, I kind of wish the ending had been as awe-inspiring as some of the other spots in this match as one more big "I've Never Seen That Before!" moment would've probably elevated this into all-time classic territory. (4/5)



The Kwang Score doesn't quite tell the whole picture of. A 2.81-out-of-5 wouldn't seem like the kind of show to warrant a full viewing, but there is something strangely brilliant about the way this whole card plays out, the match order and variety of characters and action coming together in a highly entertaining package that will please fans of both great in-ring action (the opener, the Tag Titles match, and the main event) and of extreme, ridiculous, and borderline offensive "sports-entertainment" (Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowan and, with its high spots and blood, the main event again). Sable/Stephanie is a bad match, but it does nearly descend into "so bad-it's good" territory, while Noble/Gunn, if you ignore the highly offensive premise of the match, is actually really well-wrestled, maybe the perfect distillation of the card itself. Cena/Taker is a fun match to revisit knowing where Cena's career would go and that, despite ten more years in the company together, they'd never wrestle again on PPV even though this match proves they could've easily put on an all-time classic. This show may not have the score of WrestleMania XIX, but it is almost more digestible because of its up-and-down pacing. 

FINAL RATING - Watch It

WCW Starrcade 89': Future Shock

WCW Starrcade 89': Future Shock

Atlanta, GA - December 1989

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Ric Flair is the reigning WCW World Heavyweight Champion, the Steiner Brothers are the World Tag Team Champions, and Lex Luger holds the US Championship. The Television Champion is The Great Muta. 

COMMENTARY: Jim Ross, Terry Funk, and Jim Cornette


Tonight's show is a unique one - instead of a straight-up series of singles and tag matches, Starrcade 89' consists of two separate round robin tournaments (one singles and one tag) with a point system to calculate the night's winners. After we hear the national anthem and get a quick explanation of the point system, its time for our first contest - Doom (with Nancy "Woman" Sullivan and her bodyguard Nitron) taking on babyface rivals The Steiner Brothers. On commentary, JR explains that The Skyscrapers (Spivey and Sid Vicious) have been replaced by The Samoan SWAT Team (Sid was injured in their match against the Steiners at the previous month's Clash of the Champions). Scott and "Doom #1" (Ron Simmons) start things off in front of a pretty empty-looking crowd (as the show goes on, either more fans show up or someone wisely allowed fans with tickets on the non-camera side fill in). Simmons eats a big clothesline and an overhead belly-to-belly from Rick before tagging out to "Doom #2" (Butch Reed). From there, big suplexes, back body drops, and stiff blows are all on display, though this match really never takes off beyond just being "good." Steiner decking Nitron on the outside gets the biggest pop of the match, leading to a logical finish that keeps both sides credible. I like my openers a little bit more fast-paced, but this wasn't bad. (2.5/5)

In our first singles match, Sting takes on Lex Luger, both getting put over huge on commentary by Funk and Ross as the future of the sport. I think one could argue their prediction came true, at least in WCW. Anyway, Sting takes the fight right to the Total Package, hitting him with big right hands in and out of the ring. Sting dominates for the next several minutes, eventually locking in an arm bar to build up to a crowd-pleasing splash off the second rope in the corner. Sting returns to the arm bar, but Luger breaks free. Sting hits a dropkick and tries to follow it up with a splash from the top rope, but Luger catches him and hits an atomic drop (and then another atomic drop). The 15 minute time-limit is ridiculously worked, Capetta announcing "5 minutes remaining" after about 5 minutes of wrestling. Luger controls for awhile and it looks like they intended to have Stinger make his comeback after escaping a Torture Rack attempt, but Sting falls to the ring awkwardly and "hulks up" instead, no-selling Luger's strikes. I really hate the Road Warriors impression here - he's above needing to work like that - but, considering it was 89', it's not surprising that Sting and Luger probably weren't at their peak in terms of improv'ing after a botch (and if Sting's no-selling was the intended transition, shame on them). I also disliked the actual finish - not necessarily because of how sloppy it looked (that was kind of the point), but because Patrick's count itself was kinda clunky. This match started out strong, meandered a bit, and then fell apart in its rushed ending. (2/5)

Doom are back in the ring next to take on The Road Warriors. LOD's offense is less impressive than the Steiners' but they're equal to or more over with the crowd and are better at garnering sympathy. Doom, especially Simmons, are great opponents for them, tough and very similar in style, but decidedly heel. The villains dominate for a lengthy stretch until Animal comes in for the hot tag and a clean finish follows soon after. Not a great match. I'd say, on the whole, a step below the more fast-paced, more dynamic opener. (2/5)

Next up is a match I'm actually pretty excited to see - The Great Muta (with Gary Hart) vs. Ric Flair (who arrives with Arn and Ole Anderson). Unfortunately, this one is more angle than match - the two wrestlers typing up for a little, trading strikes, and then all hell breaking loose once Buzz Sawyer and The Dragonmaster (Kazuo Sakurada) show up and start duking it out with the Andersons. I really would've liked to see Muta and Flair go a full, legit 15 minutes, which made this pretty disappointing. I'm sure I'm not the only one that felt that way in December 89'. (1/5)

In a babyface tag team dream match, The Steiners face The Road Warriors next. Great work here in terms of character and straight-forward storytelling, neither team doing anything dastardly early or trying to take an unfair advantage but things getting heated relatively quickly. Both teams had well-earned reputations for working stiff and not giving a whole lot to their opponents, but there's an obvious mutual respect between the teams so everyone brings their "A Game." There's a sloppy suplex by Scott Steiner from the corner that just looks ill-conceived, but aside from that hiccup, the offense by both teams is well-executed for the most part. I expected the finish to be a schmozz of some sort, maybe involving the other two heel teams running in to damage the babyfaces, but instead, we get a relatively clean ending - though not one without controversy. More time and having the Steiners' titles on the line would've made this truly great, but instead, it's just well-above average and a match worth digging up for fans of either team. (3.5/5)

Sting wrestling longtime rival The Great Muta follows. I really like Muta and Sting's chemistry - Muta has a unique offense considering the context and his agility and speed are remarkable, while the Stinger can be counted to bring a ton of energy, strength, and sympathetic selling. Put those ingredients together and you know you're going to get, at the very least, a solid, exciting match as long as they don't try to draw things out with needless restholds. Fortunately, aside from a brief Sting headlock, they opt to keep the pace up and have Sting play defense for most of the minutes. Muta tries to go to the air one too many times, though, allowing Sting to connect with a crowd-pleasing and very impressive dropkick to Muta all the way on the top rope in the best spot of the match. This came off like a very good TV match - more time, higher stakes, more involvement out of Gary Hart, and a more complex back-and-forth lay-out would've made this PPV worthy. (3/5)

And it is finally time for The Wild Samoans to compete, taking on last-in-the-standings Doom with Woman. Norman the Lunatic, dressed as Santa, makes a brief appearance here, the commentators explaining that he has a crush on Woman. The match is the opposite of a technical display as the four men just hit eachother with nothing but big elbows, big headbutts, clotheslines, and thrust kicks. The teams do a nice job of making each other seem like uncontrollable, ultra-violent brutes, but the crowd is fairly and unsurprisingly indifferent watching two unlikeable pairs trade mostly unremarkable slams and strikes. Not a bad match, but definitely more filler on a show that has already had plenty of filler. (2/5)

Lex Luger and Ric Flair had some highly regarded matches a few years prior, so I was excited to see what they could do with 15 minutes here and their typical face/heel roles reversed. Luger locks in a headlock to start things, bringing Naitch to the mat. Flair escapes and Luger heads to the ropes for safety, drawing good heat from the pro-Flair crowd. Flair goes on a chopping spree in and out of the ring and punctuates it with a back body drop, controlling the match for the next several minutes. Flair locks in an arm bar and though its well-worked and would've made perfect sense in a standard title match, it makes much less sense in the context of a 15-minute time limit bout in a points-based tournament setting. Things pick up when Luger breaks out and Flair starts scrambling with multiple pin attempts in rapid succession, but then Flair slows things down again. Luger breaks out of it by dropping Flair neck-first onto the top rope, a devastating counter he follows with a big clothesline and forearms on the mat. Luger sends Flair to the ropes and hits a press slam, but can't capitalize when Flair rolls to the outside. As the minutes click down, the action picks up considerably as Flair and Luger resort to some old habits and sequences - there's nothing in the last 5 minutes that would tell you that Flair's the face and Lex is the heel. It'll pick up your heart rate because it is fast-moving and exciting, but I'd have preferred some character work thrown in - more desperation of the heel and more vulnerability out of Flair. The best singles match of the night thus far. (3/5)

The Steiners vs. The Samoans is next. An otherwise forgettable, somewhat unimportant match is saved a bit by how amped Jim Cornette is to be on play-by-play with JR, his excitement helping to revitalize the presentation a bit with this being the Steiners' third appearance and the Samoans second. There are plenty of stiff Steinerlines on display, but Scott throws in some respectable amateur wrestling work too. A miscue leads to the Samoans nearly coming to blows, Rick tring to get them to attack each other but ultimately failing as the crowd boos and the cousins hug it out. The match falls into a bit of same ol'-same ol' territory from here, Scotty working as the face-in-peril, which is always kind of specious considering how ripped and athletic he is. The Samoans cut corners to keep control, but Scott eventually hits his Frankensteiner to pop the crowd and give his team a chance to win. Samu won't stay down, though, keeping Scott from making a tag with a minute remaining. Rick breaks in (it is unclear if he's been tagged in or not) and connects with clotheslines to both men, but its Scott Steiner who costs his team the match, back body dropping Fatu over the top rope (a disqualifiable offense in 1989 WCW) when the referee isn't looking. I thought this one started out pretty entertaining, but as it wore on, kept my interest less and less until it hit its brick wall ending. Scott Steiner's performance was solid, though. (1.5/5)

Selling a damaged knee from his bout with Ric Flair, Lex Luger makes his way down the aisle to square off against The Great Muta. Luger is great in this match - his selling from beginning to end is everything that Rollins' wasn't at WrestleMania this year. Muta isn't quite as good, but I'm a bit of a mark for him so I'm likely to dig him in even his most uneventful matches. This was on its way to being one of, if not my very favorite matches of the night, but the end just crushed it a bit for me - Muta dominates for so long that him essentially throwing the match the minute it looks like a visibly injured Luger finally has some momentum (with less than a minute left in the match) is not the ending this match deserved or was building up to. (3/5)

The "finals" of the tag team tournament is next - The Samoans squaring off against The Road Warriors. Not much to say about this one aside from its your standard Warriors (no-selling everything, same moves they always bust out) against a Samoans team that just seems off. I'm not sure if its fatigue or not laying out the match beforehand, but things are just sloppy all around. Not good, but at least the crowd is happy with the ending. (1/5)

Main event time - Sting vs. Ric Flair in the last match of the Iron Man round robin. This match has a few things going for it worth mentioning - first, on commentary, Jim Ross doesn't ignore history (the way it so often is in today's WWE) and talks up the way Sting was essentially "made" at the first Clash of the Champions but could not defeat Flair in 45 minutes (this time, he'll have to do it in 15), giving this match some context beyond the Iron Man prize itself. Second, Flair working some subtle heel moments into the match that foreshadow his eventual feud with Sting in 1990. The finish, which has been criticized for its logic, worked for me if you consider the story here is that Flair, during the course of this match, was falling back into old, poor habits and that his overconfidence caught up to him when he should've been more focused and less motivated by showing up his opponent with his fancy finish. Yeah, I'm kinda stretching there. Anyway, not a classic bout but a decent enough match to close the show. Extra half-point for the post-match scene which not only popped the crowd but gave this entire show some much needed storyline development. (3/5)


Despite a somewhat decent Kwang Score of 2.29-out-of-5, there is simply no way to recommend this show in its entirety or even in a condensed version. The most notable thing that happens is that Sting gets congratulated by the Horsemen around minute 168 of a show that runs 170 minutes. The Steiners/Road Warriors match was my favorite match with Luger/Muta a close second, but everything else was pretty forgettable even if it wasn't outright bad. It took me weeks to get through this show just due to the monotony of it. During the main event, Jim Ross describes the match as the final round of the first "annual" Iron Man Tournament but it had to be pretty obvious to the producers by this point based on crowd reactions that this was not an experiment worth trying again. Give me a Battle Bowl over this any day of the week.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville

WWE WrestleMania XXXIII

WWE WrestleMania XXXIII

Orlando, FL - April 2017

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Bill Goldberg is the reigning WWE Universal Champion while Bray Wyatt holds the WWE World Championship. The United States Champion is Chris Jericho, while, on SmackDown, Dean Ambrose is the reigning Intercontinental Champion. Neville holds the Cruiserweight Championship, while Alexa Bliss holds the Blue Brand's Women's Championship and Bayley holds the RAW brand's Women's Title. Finally, the team of Gallows and Anderson are the RAW Tag Team Champions and The Usos are the SmackDown Tag Team champions.


COMMENTATORS: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, and Byron Saxton (RAW), JBL, Tom Phillips, and David Otunga (SmackDown)



After a fairly entertaining bit from our WrestleMania hosts, The New Day, it was time for the main show's opening match - AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon. Unlike last year, Shane's match only overstayed its welcome by a couple minutes (not 20) and the layout was only a slight insult to wrestling fans' intelligence (not one that would make one ponder life choices from decades' past). These improvements in presentation allowed me to enjoy this for what it was - Shane cosplaying as a wrestler, but at least positioning himself earlier in the night and against an opponent of comparable size. Haters are gonna hate Shane McMahon forever and there was plenty to hate here as McMahon, but that Taker/Shane match last year is untouchable in its horribleness. This match was at least fun and, to his credit, Shane took a hell of an ass whupping, including some extra stiff strikes out of Styles. Styles, by the way, gets to add another feather in his cap as he went out and worked hard (and selflessly) to make the match as enjoyable as it was - his status as the best worker in the company stands. (3/5)

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho followed - lots of counters, lots of Owens telling Jericho that he was never his friend, Jericho sporting light-up gear, pretty much everything one would expect except for an ultra vicious finish (the only vicious thing that happened in what should've been a very personal, intense, emotional fight). I get that Jericho has signature spots he should work into his matches, but there's no room for Lionsaults in a straight-up, no-nonsense brawl. I'm glad we got a clean finish, but I'm not sure where the feud goes from here when you consider how decisive the ending was. I've seen some people call this a "good TV match" but an underwhelming Mania one and I'd agree. What about this match made it feel like the finale to a months-long, highly personal and heated feud? (2.5/5)

Defending RAW Women's Champion Bayley arrived first for the RAW Women's Championship match because, as the nWo used to say, tradition bites. Nia Jax came out next, followed by Sasha Banks, who showed up in a pretty slick Rolls Royce-ish ride. Finally, it was time for Charlotte, arriving (as Michael Cole pointed out) with the same entrance as her old man for his legendary retirement match against Shawn Michaels. Nia controlled early, but was taken down by Charlotte hiting her with a big boot and Banks and Bayley combining their strength for a back suplex. Nia wouldn't stay down, though, forcing the three women to team up again to eliminate her with a 3-woman powerbomb around minute 3 or 4. In a clever comedy spot, Charlotte asked her opponents for a high five before opting to slide out of the ring and allow the friends to square off. Moments later, Sasha hit an impressive front-flip splash to the outside that Flair followed with a corkscrew moonsault of her own. Charlotte attempted to eliminate Sasha with a Natural Selection but Banks countered. Frustrated, Charlotte went to expose the middle turnbuckle, the first truly heelish thing any heel had done all night. Sasha locked in her Bank Statement, but in a flurry, ended up eating the exposed corner and eliminated. Bayley, who had been on the floor outside the ring for awhile, came back in, and the match entered its final stage. While they botched the spot leading to Charlotte's Figure 8, they nailed the next major moment - Bayley hitting Charlotte with a crowd-pleasing back body drop from the top rope. Bayley followed with an elbow drop for the victory - an innocuous, anti-climactic maneuver to end a match that, while better than your average match, felt minor and almost designed to be forgotten. (3/5)

Kurt Angle and the rest of the 2017 Hall of Fame class got their moment and then it was time for the RAW Tag Team Championship Ladder Match - the champions, Gallows and Anderson, defending the straps against Enzo and Cass and Cesaro and Sheamus...and a mystery team announced by The New Day who, in a brilliant swerve, wasn't The New Day - The Hardy Boys! This would've been just okay without the inclusion of the Hardys - but having the Hardys' around to do their signature spots moved it into memorable and near-greatness territory. Not as ultra-violent as the tag ladder matches of 15+ years ago, but its not like there weren't some hard hits and dangerous sequences. I don't think re-watches will yield anything great in terms of storytelling or nuance, but this over-delivered by surprising the audience with a welcome return. (3.5/5)

Al Roker welcomed the participants of the next match (while Jerry Lawler joined the commentary team) - The Miz and Maryse taking on John Cena and Nikki Bella. The crowd was definitely not behind the babyfaces, John Cena getting a deafening "John Cena Sucks" chant during his entrance. The build-up to this match was fantastic, as the pre-match video made clear, so it was going to be tough to match its intensity given the telegraphed post-match angle set to happen and the limitations of the match type and workers themselves. Bella and Maryse started things off, or at least seemed like they would, before Cena and Miz tagged in (the crowd chanting "Let's Go Miz" for the villains). This was never going to be a mat classic, but to their crowd, at least for its first half, it had a more serious, more  heated feel than any match that had come before it - the participants getting lots of mileage out of playing to the crowd, facial expressions, and basic tag match ingredients. By the time the Daniel Bryan mocking started, the crowd was completely loving the beatdown Miz was delivering. I'm not sure if the audience has turned or will ever turn around enough on Miz to make him a fan favorite, but they rallied behind him strong on this night. Thanks to Bella slapping the taste of The Miz's mouth, the faces got the upperhand and the final minutes seemed to happen in fast forward. The Double Five Knuckle Shuffle and Rack Attack/Attitude Adjusment finish were too cutesy and unearned (Miz took almost no damage in the match). I knew going in that this match would always be about The Proposal that followed, but The Miz's performance and the fan response to his work deserved better. I think this one could've gone an extra 5 (while some of the other matches would've benefitted from having their runtimes cut the same amount). Speaking of The Proposal, it wasn't nearly as magical as it should've been, Nikki looking unsurprised and only about half as emotional as any soon-to-be-bride I've ever seen in her reactions to Cena's obviously scripted lines. Underwhelming stuff and not even a fraction of the "moment" of the Savage/Liz Proposal from 20 years ago or so. (2/5)

Triple H arrived atop a tough-looking motorized trircycle, accompanied not only by his leather-clad wife on the back but by a string of motorcycling cops, all with their sirens blaring. Seth Rollins, meanwhile, got an equally grandiose entrance with a flaming torch (I'm guessing some sort of allusion to him being a phoenix rising from the ashes of knee surgery). I've been very critical of Rollins and Triple H, but this match exceeded my expectations with how riveting it was from start to finish (even with a runtime that pushed close to 30 minutes). The No DQ stipulation helped, especially as Jericho/Owens, the Tag Ladder Match, and Styles/McMahon were considerably less extreme than one might've predicted. Critics will find fault (and plenty of ammo) in Rollins even being able to walk as the match wore on and Triple H continuously targeted Rollins' knee, but, to his credit, the Architect never stopped selling and the whole build has been about Rollins' unending drive for revenge. While I don't think the drama or build-up of the feud deserved to lead to one of those times where the hero "felt no pain," where their anger fueled them to become more than human, obviously the participants felt differently and opted to make this match as epic as humanly possible. This was, by design, as realistic as a Fast and the Furious fight scene and you're either a fan of that style, someone who disdains or it, or someone like me who can stomach it once a night as long as its not too audience-insulting. The "epic-ness" may have been overdone, but I wouldn't put this in the same league as last year's disgraceful Taker/Shane match. In fact, I dug the almost endless finisher countering in the last third and, earlier, the teasing and eventual pay-off to the buckle bomb, even as they actively betrayed the match's basic premise. Steph's table bump looked like it happened through invisible jello, but all in all, I found this to be noticeably better than Reigns/HHH from last year and my favorite Seth Rollins match in a long time. (3.5/5)

I usually loathe the musical performances at these events, but Stephen Marley, Pitbull, and Flo Rida's performance wasn't the worst thing ever.  It wasn't good enough to warrant a +1, but I'm not going to damn it with a -1 (which was I usually do). It helps that this year's WrestleMania theme song is actually from this year, and not a year old like last year's inescapable and widely overused "My House."

The WWE World Championship was on the line as the show rolled (or lurched) on - relatively newly-crowned champion Bray Wyatt defending the strap against Randy Orton. The crowd was definitely not too alive for this, but remember, this match occurred somewhere around hour 5-and-a-half for the people that had been in attendance since the Pre-Show (and hour 3-and-a-half for those that wisely showed up just for the "main show"). Even the bizarre and innovative superimpositions on the mat (of maggots, worms, and roaches), which should've popped the crowd, were met with initial interest and then just relative silence as they went on. On commentary, JBL tried to play up that the crowd was "in shock," but it was clearly exhaustion, something that wasn't helped with the in-ring action itself, which featured some good, impactful spots spaced out by lots of labored movement and selling. Even an RKO on the outside of the ring drew only mild cheers from the fans sitting directly in front of it. Later, Wyatt was able to regain control and even connect with a Sister Abigail, but ultimately an "outta nowhere" RKO (that didn't come out of nowhere as much as it just came) sealed Wyatt's fate. I would've preferred this match actually stepping into "overbooking" territory with appearances by Luke Harper or Erick Rowan, especially as no other match featured a single run-in. Considering that this storyline was built up for something like 5 months, the fact that the match barely went 10 minutes seems like a wasted opportunity. Like the Cena match before it, a disappointing, underwhelming bout. (2/5)

A lengthy video package signaled the start of the next main event match - Bill Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Championship. Paul Heyman woke up the live crowd with his introduction of Lesnar, a very wise embellishment to a match that would have otherwise started in front of a thoroughly tired crowd. From the onset, absolutely no time was wasted with "feeling each other out" or any sort of pacing - this match was suplexes, spears, a jackhammer, and a ridiculous leap by Lesnar (as a counter to a spear that led to Goldberg spearing a corner)...and it was glorious, at least compared to the overwrought and considerably less crowd-pleasing action of the matches that preceded it. This one could never be called it an epic, nor could it be called shocking or historically important - but it revived the crowd, cemented Lesnar's return to the throne of world-beater king, and even allowed Goldberg to bow out rather gracefully (I'm not even sure the door isn't open for Goldberg, in the right situation, to wrestle one more match against someone like Reigns). An above-average "sprint" match that was smartly booked, but likely won't stand the test of time as any sort of all-time great or even Match of the Year contender. It was, however, the clear Match of the Night (even with a runtime under 5 minutes). (3.5/5)

In the biggest surprise of the night (other than that Hardys return), the 6-Woman SmackDown Championship Match wasn't cut! It was, however, only 30 seconds longer than Goldberg/Lesnar. Defending Champion Alexa Bliss arrived first, followed by her challengers - Mickie James (sporting a Tatanka headdress for some reason), Carmella, Natalya, Becky Lynch (in some bizarre facepaint), and hometown hero, Naomi, who got about three times the amount of time for her entrance than her fellow women. No glaring miscues and not too many convoluted spots - I found this a fine, inoffensive, but obviously rushed match. If one were to list every womens' bout in the history of WrestleMania, this would likely rank somewhere in the top 10, but that's only because prior to 2016, I'm not sure there's been more than a handful of womens' matches that could even be contenders for such a list. (2.5/5)

New Day announced tonight's attendance as 75, 245 people, a new record for the Citrus Bowl...that will probably be disproven in a few weeks by Meltzer.

Main event time - Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker with Jim Ross joining in on commentary with JBL and Cole. Reigns came out first to a mostly negative ovation while the Deadman got cheered (and gifted by the production team who wisely had him rise up from halfway down the runway, saving him a good 40 yards of walking). Undertaker dominated early, tossing Reigns to the outside and announcing "This is my yard." Reigns sprung back into action and sent the Phenom to the outside, but Taker landed on his feet and pulled Roman to the outside for a toss into the stairs that inspired a "Roman Sucks" chant. Back in the ring, Reigns hit a Samoan Drop and a kick to the ribs that the crowd disapproved of, following it up with a Drive-by on the apron minutes later to dead silence. Back in the ring they went, trading blows to the delight of the crowd building towards a Snake Eyes-into-a-Big Boot combo. Reigns rolled to the outside and attempted a second Driveby, but this time Taker caught him with a big right hand. Minutes later, Taker landed one of the first major spots of the night - a chokeslam into (but not through) one of the nearby announce tables. As Taker contemplated his next move, Reigns recovered and speared the Deadman through a table! Back in the squared circle, Reigns took control in the corner of the ring, but ended up eating a (predictable and imperfect) Last Ride for two. Taking advantage of the last minute No DQ ruling, Undertaker grabbed a chair and went to work, drilling it into the spine and back of Reigns with reckless abandon. As Taker geared up for a chokeslam, Reigns rolled out of the ring - a cowardly move that he used to buy time and set up for an unexpected Superman Punch. Reigns hit a second (kind of) and then went for a third, but Taker caught him for a chokeslam into the chair for another two. This was followed by a Tombstone...that Reigns kicked out of, the crowd disapproving and chanting "Bullshit." Well, didn't Shane McMahon take as much last year? Taker went for a second Tombstone, but Reigns countered with a...with a...completely ugly, botched attempt at his own Tombstone that he abandoned and turned into a Superman Punch as the crowd sat on their hands in disapproval. Unfortunately for the combatants, this unfortunate moment tarnished nearly everything that came after it. Reigns called for a Spear but, again, Taker had Reigns' best maneuver scouted, turning it into a Hell's Gate. Reigns was able to use his legs to grab the bottom rope as the match continued, the Deadman looking dead tired. Reigns was up first and grabbed the chair, taking it to the Phenom on the mat repeatedly as the crowd booed. As Undertaker pulled himself up, the crowd's "Undertaker" chant grew, possibly because it was at this point that the finish became a foregone conclusion (even as Undertaker kicked out of yet another big Reigns spear). For at least the third time of the night, Reigns signaled and connected with a spear for two (and again, the crowd came alive, this time with both a huge "Yes!" and a massive "Undertaker" chant). Reigns busted out a Superman Punch, but instead of making the pin, he stood back and watched as the Undertaker sat up...and fell over in almost comical fashion. Moments later, Undertaker got to his feet, jawing and pulling at Reigns, who ran the ropes and then...bumped into Taker in an awkward, mis-timed collision that couldn't have been the planned spot, improvising by hitting him with a right hand. Reigns hit the ropes again, though, resetting the table for a final spear to end the career of an industry legend. Multiple ugly or outright botched moments, a telegraphed and crowd-deflating finish, and ambiguous character work out of Reigns kept this from achieving what it likely could've and should've achieved. This was Reigns sloppiest match in years (whether he's to blame for the flubs or not). Donning his cloak and hat one last time (and then removing them like some sort of zombie stripper), the Undertaker bid farewell to the WWE in his final WrestleMania moment. Too bad it couldn't have come after a match more befitting his legacy as one of the company's most reliable "big match" performers. (2.5/5)


With a final Kwang score of 2.8-out-of-5, WrestleMania 33 managed to hover in a very respectable above-average zone for lengthy stretches. Even the somewhat sub-par matches offered moments of greatness or, at the very least, unique twists (the SFX during Wyatt/Orton made a "meh" match memorable, as did the finish to Owens/Jericho and the triple-teaming in the RAW Womens' Championship). Somehow, some way, last year's show actually earned a higher score than this year's edition (by .01, but still), despite me enjoying this year's edition considerably more overall. Though this show didn't feature any match I'd call a Worst Match of the Year contender, it also didn't feature a single one as good as the Womens' Championship match or the night's underrated Intercontinental Championship ladder match (I'd also take Jericho/AJ over Jericho/Owens, even if the outcome of the latter was much better than the outcome in the former). Last year's show might have hit higher peaks, but it was filled with awful stretches of advertisements, music, and guest appearances, a 5 hour show that could've been condensed into half that length. This year, we got 10 matches (versus 8 last year), but The New Day sketches were kept mercifully short and The Rock didn't show up to eat 30 minutes with basking in his own overness. In fact, WrestleMania 33 could really be broken down into three distinct acts - a fairly strong opening series of contests, a fairly dreadful sequence of over-dramatic garbage from The Proposal through the WWE World Championship match, and then a nearly show-saving final third that, had the execution in the main event been better, would've ended the show on an outstanding, unforgettable high.

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver

NXT: Takeover: Orlando

NXT Takeover: Orlando

Orlando, FL - April 2017

SAniTY vs. Tye Dillinger, Ruby Riot, Roderick Strong, and Kassius Ohno was the night's opening contest. In January I wrote about how I'm confused by the SAniTY - are they cyberpunks? An updated version of the old Oddities stable? What's their purpose? Eric Young is a good hand and a reliable shapeshifter in that he can play just about any role and do it well, but I wish Creative had come up with something more, y'know, creative. No Way Jose was supposed to be in this match but was taken out so they could put Kassius Ohno in. Ohno got a handful of nice moments to shine, but this certainly wasn't any sort of spotlight match for him. If anything, Killian Dain stood out the most (as someone with his size probably should). This was what an 8-man opener should be - fast-paced, lots of action going on all over the place, no one getting exposed or hung out to dry - I had few complaints with it. Tye Dillinger's overness continues to befuddle me (as did Kassius' Sacramento Kings get-up). (3/5)

Next up - Aleister Black vs. Andres Almas. This is my first time seeing Black in action and while I was impressed by his martial arts-inspired work, I didn't love the gimmick (how many devil worshipper/tattoo freak/pure evil gimmicks do we really need in one promotion?). Almas, meanwhile, is so much better working as a heel that its a real shame he didn't get pushed that way out of the gate as he stole this match to me. While I thought all the in-ring work was really solid, I'm not sure this accomplished what I think it could've considering the potential in Aleister Black as a unique anti-hero in a company that is, right now at least, starving for more "big" personalities (as good as Roderick Strong is, for example, he's equally vanilla). Black should've crushed somebody and Almas, who has finally turned the corner and become a guy that can do great things for NXT, wasn't that opponent for Black's debut. Still, a really solid, arguably above-average (but I wouldn't argue it) match. (2.5/5)

The brand new NXT Tag Team Championships were on the line in the next bout - Authors of Pain defending against #DIY and The Revival. Last year, Gargano, Ciampa, and The Revival put on some of the best matches of the year, so I came into this expecting a strong match. What I got, however, was arguably the best triple threat tag match I've ever seen, one that deserves bonus points for not relying on more than a single table spot. I absolutely loved the psychology and story of this match as longtime rivals #DIY and The Revival put their hatred aside to try to take down the monsters. In most matches, this through line is tossed away as the match goes on, but here, they kept coming back to it and wisely milking it for increasingly clever spots, sequences that not only made great sense in the context of this match but called back to #DIY and The Revival's classics from 2016. There were at least a dozen great moments in this - The Revival avoiding a tag-in early and then #DIY mirroring it minutes later, Gargano somersault bombing an Author on the outside while Ciampa hit a big knee on another in the ring, an Author of Pain using a lifeless Gargano to cut off a Caimpa dive and then hurling him into the Revival for good measure, Gargano and Dawson hitting #DIY's finisher, Dash and Ciampa hitting The Revival's finisher, I could go on and on - this match just absolutely ruled. The two falls were easily the weakest minutes of the match, but only because this was a "Fight Forever" chant-worthy match. I'm not sure where the NXT tag division goes from here and I can certainly understand fans' disappointment in the outcome, but in the grand scheme of things, two out of three of these teams are destined for main roster greatness and the third just took a big step in that same direction. The finish made sense even if it wasn't what most or any fans wanted to see. An easy Match of the Year contender. (4.5/5)

Asuka vs. Ember Moon had the unenviable task of having to follow an outstanding match and didn't do too bad of a job at it. We've seen Asuka take on a number of different talents over the past year, but this was the first time I've seen her go up against a character that equals her own in the bizareness category. Asuka is known for her stiff strkes, but Ember gave as good as she took. Cool spots included Ember springboarding from the second rope over the ring post for crossbody to the floor and some nasty suplexes from both women. To me, the finish came a bit out of nowhere (though, I've since learned that it actually made perfect sense based on Ember's "nuclear option" finisher) but I would've liked to see this one go a bit longer and for Moon to come out of it a bit stronger. The finish wasn't dirty enough to make Asuka's victory feel as tainted as it should've if you wanted fans (especially those like me who are unfamiliar with Moon) to believe the babyface had her number. A few more minutes might've gotten it there, though, because the action we did get was very good. (3.5/5)

Drew McIntyre is in the crowd. Welcome back, Drew. I'm not entirely sure if the WWE will utilize him any better or differently than they did the first time around, but a run in NXT could give them the answer.

Main event time - Shinsuke Nakamura challenging Bobby Roode for his NXT Championship. As usual, some pretty nifty entrances set the stage for the night's biggest showdown. After some fun shenanigans early, Roode took control and Nakamura went into selling mode. Nakamura's control stretch later was full of stiff kicks and swift knee strikes. The crowd was relatively split, cheering both guys at times. Nakamura started calling for the Kinchasa, but ended up getting his knee clipped, a callback to the match these two fought in January. This was probably the most animated I've seen Roode get since debuting in NXT, a much-needed improvement for a guy whose methodical style can get a bit boring. After nearly taking the champ out with a Triangle Choke, Nakamura's frustration was apparent, the King of Strong Style taking his aggression out with a front kick straight to the face followed by a series of them to Roode's side minutes later. As both men lay in the ring, gasping for breath, the crowd broke into a well-earned applause. Roode attempted a Glorious DDT but Nak countered with a knee to the skull and then set him up for the Kinchasa for the second time, which Roode wisely escaped by rolling out of the ring. As the match entered its final stages, a single Glorious DDT wasn't enough to put down the challenger, motivating the champ to grab the bell. The ref would have none of it, though, ripping it away from the champ and distracting him long enough for Nakamura to connect with a kick to the head and a big suplex. It seemed like the Kinchasa would finally come, but Roode blocked it with a huge spinebuster for two. From here, Nakamura tried his best to escape Roode's grasp, but ultimately ended up eating the mat from a second Glorious DDT (this one with tremendous height). Very strong match and easily my favorite performance from Roode in his NXT run. (4/5)


I came into tonight's NXT show with low expectations - Nakamura/Roode: Part 1 didn't set the world afire and while I'm a massive fan of #DIY, The Revival, and Asuka, there was no one else on the crowd I was super excited to see. Overall (and I'm not the only one writing it), NXT being the WWE's "must watch" brand is just no longer the case due to all the hits the roster has taken over the past 18 months - hits that were not only necessary to rescue the main brand's rosters, but welcomed by most fans. This show may not have proved that NXT is still as great as it ever was, but it showed that favorable match order (and a runtime that doesn't overstay its welcome), a hot crowd, and, most of all, hard working athletes can still add up to create a very good and fun wrestling show. The night's respectable 3.5-out-of-5 score proves it.

FINAL RATING - Watch It

WWE Bad Blood 2003

WWE Bad Blood 2003

Houston, Texas - June 2003

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Triple H is the World Heavyweight Champion, Christian is the Intercontinental Champion, Rob Van Dam and Kane hold the World Tag Team Championships, and Jazz is the WWE Womens' Champion. 

COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

Is there a team with more curtain-jerkers on their resume than the Dudley Boys? The story coming into this contest is that D-Von has been targeted by Teddy Long's Thuggin' and Buggin' Enterprises stable, specifically Chris Nowinksi and Rodney Mack, as an "uncle tom" always doing the bidding of his brother Bubba Ray. Surprisingly, this match is actually pretty solid - good layout, fast-paced, and Nowinski can actually take a bump. I can't believe the Dudleys were still over in 2003, but they are. Slightly below average only because the average Dudleys match at least has one table spot. (2/5)

It is now time for Round 1 of tonight's Redneck Triatholon between RAW's co-General Managers Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff. Unfunny, lowest common denominator, disgusting stuff. Austin walked out of the WWE months earlier for being asked to put over Brock Lesnar on a random episode of RAW, but this is the kind of shit he should've been much more embarrassed of. Austin wins the burp contest and my stomach's upset. (-1)

Back in the ring, Test arrives to take on Scott Steiner in a match where the winner will earn the managerial rights of Stacy Keibler. Like the first match, I was surprised by how good this was. Steiner's bouts with Triple H earlier in the year were historically underwhelming (though, I'd argue their first match doesn't deserve the hate it gets) and one wouldn't expect someone like Test to get something better out of him, but the two roid monsters actually have chemistry. Steiner lands a few suplexes that look like they're inches away from paralyzing the former Motley Crue bodyguard, which isn't a good thing if you're Test, but is quite alright if you're like me and tend to enjoy near-death high spots. Solid, well-executed finish. I hate to admit it but Test, despite generally being one of my least favorite workers, has surprised me with how many average-to-good matches he actually has under his belt (my favorite still being the slugfest with Lesnar at King of the Ring 2002). (2.5/5)

Eric Bischoff introduces Steve Austin to the bevy of beauties that will be part of the second event of the Redneck Triathlon - the (poontang) Pie-Eating Contest. And the taste level sinks lower...

Christian defends his WWE Intercontinental Championship next against the man he cheated out of it a month or so prior, Booker T. Tonight's show is in Booker's hometown so its pretty much guaranteed he'll be losing. Somewhat pedestrian match out of these two, but the crowd's alive for most of it and everything is executed well (save for a near-botch on a victory roll in the corner by Booker). Back-and-forth story without an over-reliance on signature spots. Decent ending to continue the feud and good heel work out of Christian, but this came off more like a TV match than a PPV-worthy title bout. (2/5)

Jerry "The King" Lawler is in the ring for Event #2 of the Triatholon, welcoming Bischoff and Austin for the Pie-Eating Contest. In the previous backstage segment, Bischoff had agreed to "eat the pie" of a woman of Austin's choosing and *big surprise* the lucky lady is none other than Mark Henry's ex, Mae Young! Bischoff refuses to engage at first, but when Austin reminds him that he will then lose the Triatholon by forfeit, Sleazy E kisses Mae Young and then takes a Bronco Buster from a barely-covered Mae Young. Bischoff tells Austin its his turn, but instead of participating, he gives Young one of the weakest Stunners ever and lets Bischoff win. 

Bizarre Gail Kim video package. Was she supposed to be from The Matrix? Network Nugget of Weirdness. (+1)

The World Tag Team Championships are on the line next, with Kane and Rob Van Dam defending the straps against La Resistance. In the build to this match, Kane and RVD's partnership had hit some potholes, with Kane not coming to the aid of his tag partner on a recent episode of RAW. Van Dam and Kane don't show any signs of splintering for the majority of the match, but the finish is a different story as Rob Van Dam accidentally takes out his own partner with a Rolling Thunder splash to the outside. La Resistance take advantage and score a quick pinfall to become the new champions. I wasn't expecting a classic, but this was well below even average. (1.5/5)

In a match years in the making, Chris Jericho takes on Goldberg next. The angle leading up to this match seems pretty cool based on the video package, with Jericho getting the best of Goldberg repeatedly and using his legitimate issues with the guy from their WCW days to fuel his promos. Goldberg's bout with The Rock at April's Backlash was awful, but I still went into this with some optimism. Jericho comes out first and then we get the familiar arrival of Goldberg, still one of the best entrances ever. Goldberg goes right after Jericho to start, the two tumbling to the outside of the ring through the ropes. Jericho attempts a crossbody but ends up bodyslammed for his trouble before getting tossed into the corner. A small-but-audible "Y2J" chant starts, which is a bad sign considering Goldberg had only been in the WWE for a couple months. Goldberg continues to dominate with his strength but makes a terrible mistake in attempting a spear on the outside. Back in the ring, Jericho takes control with Goldberg's head busted open from his collision with the barrier. Goldberg cuts Jericho off with a nasty kick when Y2J comes off the ropes and, again, the crowd boos when they should've popped. One might expect reactions like this in New York or anywhere in Canada, but since when is Houston a town full of Jerichoholics? A small "Goldberg Sucks" chant can be heard as the match wears on well past the length of most Goldberg matches. Jericho hits a Lionsault for two and follows it with a bulldog. Jericho attempts another Lionsault and Goldberg tries to catch him, but imperfect positioning leads to a botch. Goldberg hits his spear but can't make the cover. That small "Goldberg Sucks" chant grows in volume as he attempts his Jackhammer. Jericho hits a low blow to escape as the crowd chants "Y2J" (noted by Jim Ross on commentary). He locks in the Walls of Jericho, but Goldberg uses his leg strength to break free. Spear two! Jackhammer to finish with a respectable, but certainly not incredible, pop. Interesting match, but not a great one. I'd still call it better than average considering the average Goldberg match is usually sub-5 minutes. (3/5)

A video package brings us to our next bout - recently heel-turned Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels. The first half of this match is decent but eventful, which makes the second half a bit confusing as Michaels decides, without really needing to, to raise the stakes and bust out a table. Its out of character for the Heartbreak Kid and as he was pretty handily beating Flair anyway, its even more jarring. A second ref bump (the first is maybe best described as a "half bump" and is meaningless) signals the finish with an appearance by Evolution member Randy Orton brandishing a chair. I would say that this is just about the best match you could get out of Flair in 2003, that's not true - a year earlier he had some generally entertaining matches that didn't rely on too many smoke and mirrors (I gave individual matches against Jericho, RVD, and Eddie Guerrero in 2002 respectable 3-star ratings). Considering the built-in emotional pull of a match like this, it didn't live up to expectations. (2.5/5)

Eric Bischoff "serenades" the crowd by lip-syncing his own theme song. Austin appears on the Titantron and tells him to sing for real. Bischoff does so and the crowd boos as he butchers a song that was already pretty terrible. Bischoff tries to escape but a "deputized fan" tosses him back over the barrier as Austin makes his way down the aisle. Austin proceeds to stomp a mudhole in him and then hit his second (much better than the first) Stunner of the night. Austin then brings Bischoff up the ramp and tosses him into the pig sty set up near the curtain. I get that the WWE was trying to use Austin to the best of their ability but these segments were woefully tasteless and Bischoff, great as the smarmy "brains" behind the nWo in WCW, was so castrated and weak in the WWE that these segments were comedy-for-comedy-sakes (which always stinks in pro-wrestling). I won't deduct another point, but I almost should.

Main event time - Triple H vs. Kevin Nash in a Hell in a Cell with Mick Foley as the guest referee. Before the match begins we get a video package that runs for maybe 2-3 minutes feels like at least 20. Sorry, when it comes to a Nash/Triple H match, if you want me to get excited, your best bet is to not remind me that I'm about to watch a Nash/Triple H match. Foley comes out last and the match begins, Nash taking control early and sending The Game into the cell walls. Credit to Helmsley, he actually takes those collisions with gusto and does the same for a back drop onto the floor, obviously trying to single-handedly carry this match into entertaining territory by bumping like there's no tomorrow. Nash brings in a chair and slams it across the champ's back, knowingly or not preparing him for a Jacknife. Helmsley is sent crashing into the stairs but manages to put some distance between himself and the big man and get a few shots in. Nash attempts a Jacknife on the outside but can't muster enough strength, allowing Triple H to connect with some rights and then grab a somewhat comically small hammer. This is where my strong dislike for Triple H might seep through - I hate the large sledgehammer because Triple H wields it like no one whose ever used a sledgehammer in their life, but when he busts out a slightly undersized hammer in this match and uses it realistically, it is goofy for the opposite reason. Easy solution - stop using hammers, Paul. Foley takes it from him (because this is a no DQ match, but a small hammer is "going too far"?) but Triple H maintains control, busting Nash open on the outside. Triple H grabs a screwdriver and starts driving it into the skull of Nash, opening him up even more. Helmsley then busts out a barbwire 2x4, a not-so-subtle nod to his ultra-violent battles with Foley. Nash ends up in control of the 2x4 and connects with a big swing to Triple H's forehead (cue the crimson mask for The Game). Nash secures the 2x4 on the top rope, seemingly setting up Triple H for a "snake eyes" (which is actually a fairly clever spot and one that Triple H does a great job of taking). Nash tries to put Triple H down with the stairs, but the champ outsmarts him, hitting the challenger with a wooden crate he's found under the ring. Now we get the sledgehammer. Despite this being a No DQ match, Triple H opts to knock Foley out anyway, though, he's not even able to do that well because Foley is right back up and making the count for a Kevin Nash near fall. Nash is back up first and has the chair in hands, but Triple H cuts his knee out and then uses the weapon himself, not only knocking out Nash but busting Foley open as well. For his crimes, Foley eats Socko and the crowd pops huge. Nash grabs the stairs but accidentally knocks out both men, essentially costing himself the Championship. Foley then takes the nastiest bump of the night (and one he really shouldn't have had to take), bouncing from the apron into the cage. Nash hits the Jacknife, but Triple H kicks out at 2.9999 and the match continues. I'm not sure why Nash is so fatigued from almost winning, but he's worse for wear than Triple H, who connects with a sledgehammer shot to the midsection and follows it up with the pedigree to seal it. I've seen this match get bashed, but I didn't find it too offensive at all. It is not for everyone - but Triple H fans will dig it and you can't say that Nash or Foley didn't work hard either, both taking some nasty weapon shots, blading, and, in the case of Foley, taking a bump into the cell wall that would deserve placement on just about anyone else's Greatest Hits list. (3.5/5)

I was glad to see that Dave Meltzer rated the main event a respectable 3-and-a-quarter stars. As I don't rate with quarters, I leaned closer to enjoying the match than not. As for the rest of the card? More miss than hit. Only Jericho/Goldberg could be considered better than average and part of that score comes from the unexpected crowd reactions, which make the match more interesting  than outright good. Flair/HBK is a disappointment while the rest of the card is essentially TV matches. Given more time and a better finish, Christian/Booker T might've been good, but that isn't what happened. There's been plenty of shows with a Kwang score similar to Bad Blood's (that would be a 2.43-out-of-5), but very few I would recommend less...

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville

WCW Bash at the Beach 98'

WCW Bash at the Beach 98'

San Diego, CA - July 1998

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, Bill Goldberg is the WCW World Champion (having defeated Hulk Hogan for the strap on an episode of Nitro from the Georgia Dome a week prior) and, because of this, the United States Championship (which Goldberg never lost) was vacated. Booker T is the reigning WCW Television Champion while Sting had named Kevin Nash his tag team partner after winning the World Tag Team Championships in a singles match against The Giant at The Great American Bash. Finally, Chris Jericho is the reigning WCW Cruiserweight Champion.

COMMENTARY: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Mike Tenay

Before I even start this review, did you look at the poster for this show? Not a single wrestler featured, but a not-so-veiled reference to oral sex. And wrestling fans wonder why our favorite pastime is considered low brow. 

Two years after WCW became the hottest wrestling company in America thanks to the New World Order, Bash at the Beach 98' kicks off with another stable's infighting - former Raven's Flock ally Saturn taking on Raven's Flock leader, Raven. I love how this match opens up (with Saturn  mercilessly tossing Raven into the guardrail repeatedly). This leads to Raven ending up in a precarious position on the top rope, but Riggs steps in and Saturn ends up on the floor. Raven then hits him with an absolutely awesome whiplash leg sweep into the guardrail, one of my favorite moves of his from his ECW days. The big spots keep coming, but the overbooking, illogical swerves, and non-selling pile up too, including a nonsensical run-in by Kwang favorite Kanyon. Its a wrestling cliche for a third party to interfere on behalf of one guy only to attack the guy he moments earlier helped, but in this instance it is doubly frustrated as, not only is Kanyon's decision-making inexplainable but, due to poor timing, Saturn looks like an imbecile too. On its way to greatness, but stumbled in its closing minutes. (3/5)

Eddie Guerrero joins "Mean" Gene Okerlund and hypes his hair match against Chavo Guerrero later in the show. Who would book a PPV with two Chavo Guerrero matches? I know he's lost a step, but even in 98', Chavo's a 1-match-a-night guy and Stevie Ray, his first opponent tonight, is a no-match-a-night guy.

Raven's Flock member Billy Kidman comes out next for a bout against literal-babyfaced luchadore Juventud Guerrera. As Tenay notes on commentary, this is Kidman's first match on pay-per-view and he definitely seems eager to wow the crowd. Though the heat ebbs and flows, the crowd pops for the big spots and there are plenty of em'. Highlights include Juvi and Kidman both hitting massive crossbodies to the outside, some nasty suplexes (including a T-bone out of Juvi that looks like a career-ender), and a back-shattering spinebuster from the top rope by Kidman to Guerrera. Throughout the contest, nearly everything they do, even the most intricate sequences, are executed flawlessly, but at no point does this look like a choreographed dance. An above-average match that runs just a touch too long, like a great rock song that returns to its charming chorus one time too many. (3.5/5)

Chavo Guerrero arrives for his first of two matches tonight, squaring off against Stevie Ray. Chavo's gimmick at this point was that he had flipped out, coming out to the ring wearing a little kid's flotation tube, squirting a super soaker, challenging opponents to dance contests, and believing he could overpower guys like Goldberg and, in this match, the brawn half of Harlem Heat. In a clever turn of events (that also saves the audience from having to see a Stevie Ray match), Chavo immediately submits to Stevie Ray when they shake hands and it's Hair Match time. More angle than match, I'm not going to rate it. (+1)

Eddie Guerrero steps into the ring as the crowd chants "Eddie Sucks" and Chavo chases him out of the ring by biting him. I did not enjoy their match at Great American Bash, but Chavo's new character adds much-needed energy and fun to a rivalry that needed something extra by now. After nearly back body dropping Eddie to the rafters, Chavo goes right back to biting and the crowd cheers in appreciation. Eddie takes control soon after and the tone of the match gets more serious, with Eddie taking out Chavo with a series of locked-in dropkicks to the back of the head and neck in the corner and on the mat. Later, Chavo misses a huge crossbody from the top, but follows it up with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to cut off Eddie's momentum. To the outside they go and Eddie exposes the concrete. Chavo counters with a suplex but Eddie doesn't necessarily sell it as long as he should, rolling back into the ring to break the count with illogical ease. In the corner, Chavo looks to hit something from the top, but Eddie races up and we get a superplex. Chavo again heads to the top moments later for a frog splash, but Eddie raises his knees and Eddie follows it up with one of Chavo's finishers - a tornado DDT. Eddie grabs for the scissors, but Charles Robinson rips them away. Eddie misses his Frog Splash and Chavo lands his finisher (to relative silence). Now its Chavo's turn to make the mistake of going for the scissors early, but it ends up costing him the match. Solid opening to the match, but as they approached the finish, the selling fell off and the crowd seemed to lose interest. In a final, post-match twist, Chavo takes his own hair off, begging Eddie to do the same so that they can be twins. An improvement on their Great American Bash match thanks to Chavo's strong character work and Eddie being maybe the most watchable wrestler ever, but imperfect and not necessarily a bout I'd want to revisit. (3/5)

Disco Inferno (with Alex Wright) makes his way down the aisle next for an impromptu "bonus" match against the nWo Wolfpack's Konnan. Like the Stevie Ray non-match earlier in the show, I have to reward WCW for the brilliant booking here - this match essentially comprises of Wright and Inferno dancing, Kevin Nash and Konnan popping the crowd with their catchphrases, and then Inferno getting jacknife powerbombed while Wright gets put in the Torture Rack on the outside. Konnan applies one move by my count. Barely a match, but probably more entertaining than a legitimate Inferno/Konnan match could ever be. (2.5/5)

The next match was originally going to be a tag bout featuring Curt Hennig and Goldberg, but when Goldberg won the World Championship all that changed and we now have The Giant competing one-on-one against NFL star (and future NFL Hall of Famer) Kevin Greene. While certainly a novelty match, this is a surprisingly sound contest with some very logical sequences and everything these two do looking pretty good (especially considering that I'm not sure Greene was necessarily prepped about this being a singles match in the weeks leading up to it). The Giant, meanwhile, does a his job of leading the linebacker through the match's paces without rushing anything, selling and bumping without losing any of his own credibility and wisely milking this match for its real purpose - to essentially build to a Goldberg/Giant match (the crowd picks up on this fairly early and lets the big man hear it). While certainly not a "great" match, considering Greene's experience level and the intended purpose of this match, its a fine few minutes of action. (2.5/5)

Backstage, Curt Hennig tells Lee Marshall that he has the know-how and experience to defeat Bill Goldberg tonight.

For the dozenth time tonight, Schiavone reminds fans that the scheduled Jericho/Malenko Cruiserweight Title Match will not happen tonight due to Malenko's recent suspension (he attacked Jericho on Nitro when there was a "no contact" rule in place to keep them separated). This time, though, we actually get a video package showing us exactly what happened a few nights earlier.

Chris Jericho makes his way down the aisle with his Cruiserweight Championship (as well as a top hat and cane). The Ayatollah of Rock n' Rollah proceeds to cut a promo about "Stinko" Malenko and then begins his "soft shoe" routine. He's instantly interrupted, though, by "Jo Jo" Dillon, who apologizes to Jericho for underestimating the amount of fans he has. Dillon continues to say that his fans are probably disappointed that Jericho won't be able to defend the title tonight and tells him that he's found a guy who hasn't wrestled in 6 months (and is therefor eager to get in the ring with Jericho). Jericho makes sure that the match is still No DQ and then we hear the familiar entrance music of noneother than...Rey Mysterio Jr.! Mysterio and Jericho have always had good chemistry and this match has some really fun moments, including Mysterio hitting a hurricanrana off a lifeguard chair and Jericho bashing the hell out of Mysterio's knee with a chair. After missing a follow-up Pillmanizer from the top, Mysterio gets his turn with the chair and Jericho is in trouble. Mysterio attempts a springboard maneuver of some kind but ends up in the Walls of Jericho. Malenko arrives but doesn't seem to cause much of a distraction. Still, the outcome is the same - new Cruiserweight Champion with an unexpected victory roll. Jericho and Mysterio have had much better matches, but a "whole picture," this is an "angle + match" combo that works really well (and would've worked even better if the San Diego crowd actually gave a shit). (3/5)

Bret "The Hitman" Hart vs. Booker T for the Television Championship is next. Hart coming down to the nWo theme song, a song that at least a half dozen other guys use as their song, is almost a perfect metaphor for how much Hart can become "just another guy" in WCW by this point. The match starts off fairly hot, with Booker T in control and Bret Hart forced to play defense, hip tossed over the top rope and then slammd into the guardrail. A TV title match was "beneath" the Hitman, but Hart doesn't half-ass it and Booker is obviously working like this is the biggest match of his career (which, at this point, it easily was). Work-wise, between bells, this is an easy match to love - and though the finish is disappointing, it is also super effective at establishing a number of new ideas, specifically that Booker T's innovation and energy may have had Hart's number, that Bret is a mega-heel that doesn't give a single shit about sportsmanship, and that the Stevie Ray/Booker T relationship is frayed. The in-ring action we did get was very good and I dug the intensity of the post-match angle too. Not a must-see match, but good storyline development nonetheless. (3/5)

A video package highlights Goldberg's historic World Championship victory on Nitro. WCW wasn't known for its great production, but this was really well done. (+1)

Michael Buffer is in the ring to announce the participants in tonight's WCW World Championship match, WCW World Champion Bill Goldberg and his opponent, Curt Hennig. Goldberg is super over and dominates at the start, with Hennig showing off his incredible bumping. Goldberg's leglock-takedown has looked prettier and his powerslam from the corner is almost equally ugly, but Goldberg's appeal has never been his fluidity or execution. Hennig is able to cut him off briefly and attack Goldberg's ankle, but instead of sticking to that gameplan, he goes for the Perfect-Plex. Goldberg, unsurprisingly, kicks out with ease and hits both his Spear and a Jackhammer to seal this one at well under 5 minutes. I wasn't expecting much more than this, but as a Hennig fan, I kind of wish this was more competitive. Average in terms of Goldberg's matches, but below average when you think about this match being the night's World Heavyweight Championship bout. (2/5)

Main event time - Diamond Dallas Page and Karl Malone vs. "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan and Dennis Rodman. The heels arrive first to a chorus of boos followed by Diamond Dallas Page and Karl Malone decked out in matching ring gear. Tenay plays up the on-court rivalry between Malone and Rodman stemming from the Bulls/Jazz Championship series that ended just a month prior (Rodzilla's Bulls won that series). Malone and Rodman start things off in a surprising twist, the Worm refusing to engage with the Mailman. They finally lock up and Rodman applies a side headlock, bailing out of the ring when Malone breaks free. Hogan comes in and tries to intimidate Malone but ends up locked in a very awkward headlock instead, eventually scoop slammed to the mat as the crowd roars. Page comes in and Hogan tags out minutes later as an audible portion of the crowd starts chanting "Boring," obviously hoping for some wrestling beyond just tie-ups, headlocks, and the occasional hip toss. The "Boring" chant starts up again before we get the first "high spot" of the match - Page and Rodman colliding in the ring. Rodman returns to a side headlock as the two take a tumble in the ring in what looks like a botched spot. Speaking of botched spots, after two respectable leap frogs from Rodman, they botch whatever was supposed to happen next and the crowd picks up on it. The Mailman and Hogan come in and we get staredown number 40 or so. Hogan applies a wristlock, but Mailman overpowers him and sends him crashing to the mat. Rodman delivers a cheap shot and Hollywood takes control. You would think that a 20-year veteran like the Hulkster would put more moves on display than a 2-week guy like Malone, but this match would prove you wrong. Malone takes some good textbook back bumps and finally we get a legitimate wrestling move as Hogan hits the Mailman with a back suplex. Schiavone notes that Malone has the reach to tag in DDP but doesn't because, well, who knows. Page finally comes in on the hot tag and, though he tries his best to revive the crowd, the audience doesn't seem to care. Hogan takes off his belt and uses it to beatdown DDP (the crowd finally popping for something). Hogan and Page obviously wanted to deliver a main event-caliber match and not take any shortcuts and, to their credit, when they're in the ring together things do get better, but this match needed more smoke-and-mirrors than front headlocks and test-of-strength teasing. Page plays face-in-peril for awhile, building up suspense a hot tag to Malone. At least 5-6 minutes from this match should've been donated to Hart/Booker because this one just had no business going more than 10-12 minutes bell-to-bell. Malone finally comes in and pops the crowd by body slamming Rodman and then knocking their heads together in classic Three Stooges fashion. Malone has Hogan at his mercy and calls for a Diamond Cutter, hitting the Hulkster with a big boot and then tagging in his partner to finish him off. Rodman tries to save his partner, but ends up eating a Diamond Cutter of his own by Mailman. This should have been the finish, but instead, the Disciple comes in to help the heels score the pinfall. Malone, upset about the finish, hits a Diamond Cutter on Charles Robinson as the nWo's victory song plays. Talk about feel-bad booking for no reason beyond feeding into Hogan or Rodman's ego. Not the worst match I've ever seen, but at over 20 minutes, just too repetitive and pedestrian to ever recommend. (1/5)


Bash at the Beach 98' starts off really strong, with a series of better-than-average matches. However, as the show wears on, the wrestling weakens and questionable booking take their toll. Booker T and Bret Hart have a pretty good 7-minute match that ends in meaningless fashion at the 8th minute. The Guerreros, Jericho, and Mysterio get some really entertaining character development on the show, but the action doesn't live up to expectations considering the talent involved. The opening match starts off hot and then ends in overbooked nonsense that makes everyone involved look bad. As for the main event, the only times when it isn't outright boring is when Rodman is botching a spot, Malone is looking comically awkward, or Page and Hogan are trying their best to salvage the thing with overacting. There are small moments that show WCW could still produce some entertaining TV in the summer of 1998, but as a whole, this show definitely reveals more than a couple glaring problems with where the company was and where it was heading. Even with a pretty decent Kwang score of 2.83-out-of-5, this one gets a...

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver