WrestleMania VIII, like the 1992 Royal Rumble, is a show I've probably seen a dozen times before (though probably not a single time in the past 25 years). After Reba McEntire sings "America The Beautiful," we get our opening contest - Shawn Michaels vs. Tito Santana. Michaels had semi-recently turned heel and now had Sherri Martel as his manager. I love her version of his entrance music. Santana was wrestling under the El Matador gimmick. Not the hottest opener they could've chosen and I wish Michaels got a more definitive win here as Santana wasn't going anywhere and Michaels was being touted as "The Wrestler of the 90s." There are some moments when you can see how good Michaels was going to be as a heel as he takes some spectacular bumps and sells really well. Santana delivers some good offense after a slow start. This wasn't bad, but it could've been better. (2/5)
Next up - a terrific promo from the Legion of Doom and the debuting "Precious" Paul Ellering. When I was a kid, I really didn't know all that much about the LOD's pre-WWE run aside from them being on the cover of the old NWA/WCW Nintendo game. I certainly didn't know about Paul Ellering. I like how Bobby Heenan, without really mentioning the competition (which was verboten in WWE at the time), makes a huge deal about Ellering showing up. A great segment. (+1)
Speaking of great segments, we get a word from Jake "The Snake" Roberts and then a recap of his attack on The Undertaker in a Funeral Parlor segment on Superstars some weeks earlier before their match. I forgot that Roberts DDT'd Paul Bearer. I'm not sure when Jake Roberts went from being dependable in the ring, able to carry a match with his charisma and ring psychology, to being a bit of a bore. The Undertaker was far from the most dynamic worker at this point in his career as he was still doing a very minimalist "wrestling zombie" character and hadn't rounded out his arsenal with the Old School or the crazy plancha or any of the MMA-inspired strikes and submissions. Still, while this isn't a very good match in terms of action, the crowd is enthralled by it and Roberts does put Undertaker big time by letting him sit up from two DDTs. Taker eventually wins with a Tombstone on the outside, though I wish he would've been allowed to peel back the mat and do it on the concrete as that would've been a much cooler visual (I'm guessing if that idea was pitched by Jake, Vince would've rejected it for being too violent anyway). Another not-so-great match as Roberts was not nearly as spry as he once was and Taker moved like his legs were stuck in molasses. (2/5)
After a classic interview backstage, Roddy Piper defends his first and only singles championship in the WWE against Bret Hart. I've seen this get called Piper's best-ever singles match and I'm hard-pressed to think of a better one that I've seen, especially in terms of straight-up singes matches (and not stipulation bouts). Bret Hart had one of my favorite matches ever against Mr. Perfect at SummerSlam 91' roughy 7-8 months before this, but watching this (and having watched SummerSlam 91' semi-recently), this might actually be the better match just because of the incredible, emotional story being played out and Bret getting a whole bunch of color. Piper was never a great in-ring technician so its fun to see him actually try to outwrestle Bret eary before the match just becomes a back-and-forth slugfest. You could expect Piper to wrestle a little "dirty," but its important to note that its actually the Hitman who I felt worked a little heel first by playing possum and feigning an injury. If Jake Roberts coudn't necessarily use his charisma and superstar persona to get the prior match to work, this is an example of how one could do it as Piper puts in a wonderful performance that tells a beautiful story about integrity, self-respect, and, in the end, passing the torch to the next generation. Also, that finish. It has been copied and redone countless times over the years, but it has never been more excellently-executed. To me, this is a masterpiece that gets better with every viewing because there are so many minor details that make it special. (5/5)
Another cool moment follows as Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon conduct a satellite interview with the WBF's latest talent acquisition - Lex Luger. I don't recall and am not going to research what exactly happened with Luger and why he was brought in for the WBF originally rather than to wrestle, but I do know that he was injured at one point and may have had a no-compete clause after leaving WCW. Regardless, he's definitely a heel in this interview, really vainglorious and already working his Narcissist gimmick a good 8-9 months before he'd have his in-ring debut in January 93'.
Back to the ring we go for an 8-man "breather" match pitting the babyface crew of Virgil, The Big Bossman, Jim Duggan, and Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Nasty Boys, Repo Man, and The Mountie. This wasn't much of a match, but there was some fun moments - specifically a nutshot by The Bossman when The Repo Man is working his back and The Bossman turns over and Repo drops himself right into his fist. Ray Combs (of Family Feud fame) also has a funny appearance running down the heels in his pre-match introduction. Fun for what it was and it didn't eat up too much time. Perfectly acceptable. (2/5)
The next 30-40 minutes are excellent sports-entertainment as we get a pre-match promo from Ric Flair hyping his WWE Championship defense against Randy Savage. The build for this match was terrific and built not just around Flair being the WWE World Champion, but also his claims of having dated Miss Elizabeth before she got with Macho. Speaking of Macho Man, he is super, super over with the live crowd, which is unsurprising as his face turn and feud with Jake Roberts in 91' made for much better television and a more riveting story than anything Hulk Hogan did that year. This isn't as nuanced a story as Piper/Hart, but this feels like a big, personal title fight in its own right and Savage puts on a great babyface performance, letting Flair control the first third, having his big fiery comeback for the next third, and then letting Elizabeth and Mr. Perfect do their thing for the final stretch. This is not on the level of the more athletic-based Flair/Steamboat matches or as wild as the Flair/Funk match from a few years prior, but Flair does get some "color" and does bust out all his classic spots at one point or another. I've seen people pick apart Hebner's referee work (as well as the involvement of various "suits") as Perfect gets away with murder while Elizabeth is seemingly being kept out of the fray despite also being Savage's manager (and thus being allowed at ringside). I think that's nit-picky and ignores the story of this match and the unspoken idea that its not the WWE officials who are keeping Elizabeth in the back, it's Savage who doesn't want her anywhere near the nefarious heels, justifiably concerned that she could end up in harms' way (which is exactly what happens during the post-match). Perfect wasn't allowed to take any bumps due to an injury and a Lloyds of London insurance deal he'd made, but I think they hide it well. Shane McMahon makes a cameo. If you include the post-match promos cut by both men, it all makes for an incredible presentation. This isn't either guy's best match, maybe not even in either guy's top 5 or 10, but it is an iconic match for a reason and the feud itself is a career highlight for everyone involved, including Heenan and Perfect. (4.5/5)
After a video package airs hyping the other half of tonight's co-main event, it is time for another "breather" match as Tatanka takes on "The Model" Rick Martel. Before the match, there was a group of Native Americans performing in the ring. I'm not a big Tatanka fan, but Martel could still "go" at this time and they have a decent match here. Heenan makes some tasteless jokes on commentary, but what else would one expect? This doesn't eat up too much time, but I would've figured they'd have given Tatanka a more definitive victory considering he was the young rising star and Martel wasn't really up to all that much. Martel would actually go on to a cool feud over Sensational Sherri with Shawn Michaels that summer and then have another feud with Tatanka (built around Martel stealing feathers from Tatanka's head dress), lasting in the company for another 2 years. Anyway, another acceptable bit of wrestling here, though not as good as the 8-man just because Tatanka isn't a very good worker. (1.5/5)
After some words from both teams, it is time for the WWE Tag Team Championship match as Money Inc. defend the straps against The Natural Disasters. I don't recall the exact change of events that led to Jimmy Hart leaving the Disasters and joining up with DiBiase and IRS, but that's the backstory. Anytime Tenta and DiBiase are in the ring, things are good, while things are less good when Typhoon and IRS are. DiBiase does an expert job selling how powerful 'Quake is, but the audience doesn't really seem super invested in this match. I also don't know why they didn't have the Legion of Doom come out and stop Money Inc. from walking out on the match (accepting a countout loss to keep the titles), which seems like something that would've been totally in-character for LOD and for the WWE at the time (when all babyfaces were unified against all the heels despite any previous rivalry). The Disasters didn't need to regain the titles here - its clear that Hawk and Animal were the far more over babyface team - but this finish was not good and they didn't get their hands on Jimmy Hart, which would've at least been a moral victory. This was better than I expected because I'm not a fan of Rotunda at all and everyone - including Typhoon (who takes a great spill to the outside over the ropes) - worked hard, even if the ending was flat, but this was still sub-par. (1.5/5)
After some hype for the main event, Owen Hart defeats Skinner in under 3 minutes. Steve Keirn was a good worker and the Skinner gimmick wasn't all that terrible (and, considering Keirn's connection to Florida, make some sense), but they get no time to show what they can do and the audience was already fairly cooled off after the previous contest. Owen would go on to form a forgettable team with Koko B. Ware and the Skinner character was a Saturday morning undercard guy until he left. Meaningless match that doesn't even allow Owen to showcase his aerial skills. A half-point for not being boring, I guess? (0.5/5)
Main event time - Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice. This is a paint-by-numbers Hulk Hogan main event in nearly every way, except that Vince and Hulk threw every trick they could into it to make it feel like a big deal. First, in the build-up, they teased that this would be Hogan's retirement match (it wasn't and was never going to be). Second, they had Sid pulverize countless opponents in the weeks before this match. To their credit, Sid did come in with a ton of legitimacy and looked about as intimidating and powerful as he ever had. Finally, they designed a match that would see Sid showcase his power and his potential as "the next Hulk Hogan." Overall, I thought Sid did a solid job as a cartoonishly evil foil for the Hulkster, the facial expressions he busted out looking equally as over-the-top as those of Hogan. The wrestling itself is bad, though, as Hogan doesn't bust out much more than a clothesline and big right hands while Sid can't get him up for the chokeslam. The powerbomb looks great, but Hogan kicking out and going right into the "Hulk Up" routine was very old hat by this point. Sid's mid-match promo should've come after the powerbomb, which would've allowed Hogan to kick out and then do his usual shtick without burying Sid's finish. Speaking of finishes, whether this was mistimed, poorly executed, or some sort of political compromise, it is an all-time bad one. We get a DQ for no apparent reason when Harvey Wippelman get's on the apron, a referee call that hadn't been made in countless matches earlier in the night with much lower stakes and much more involvement from managers/valets, and then Papa Shango making his way down the aisle for some unknown reason (it's not like Shango was feuding with Hogan or teaming with Sid at this time). The return of the Ultimate Warrior is a cool moment, but that's about the only thing that's good about the last few minutes of the match. When it's all over, Sid seems like a much lesser foe than he did coming into the match and Hogan has had none of the character development that they seemed to be leading towards with the build-up. The Warrior coming back and Hogan endorsing him was cool...but had already been done two years prior. The enthusiasm of the crowd for the whole ordeal carries this from being bad to decent. (2.5/5)
With a Kwang Score of 2.5-out-of-5, WrestleMania VIII may seem like just an average show and though I'll readily admit there's a nostalgia factor at play here, this still might be one of my favorite WrestleManias ever. Piper/Hart and Savage/Flair are among the best matches of the decade and would still probably rank among the top 50 matches the WWE ever produced. Sid/Hogan isn't a good match, but the Warrior's return is a good moment. Sprinkled throughout the show are good promos - from the Road Warriors, from Lex Luger, from Sid and Savage and Flair and Bret and even Ray Combs - and even the bad matches are kept relatively short. A fun albeit imperfect show and worth checking out most of.
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
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