WCW Clash of the Champions XXXIV - January 1997
Milkwaukee, Wisconsin
CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into tonight's show, "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan is the WCW World Champion, Ultimo Dragon is the Cruiserweight Champion, The Outsiders are the WCW World Tag Team Champions, Steven Regal is the Television Champion (but doesn't defend it here, which seems like a crime at a Clash show), Eddie Guerrero is the recognized United States Champion (though Syxx holds the title), and Akira Hokuto is the Women's Champion.
COMMENTARY: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, and Dusty Rhodes
"Rough and Ready" Mike Enos takes on Scotty Riggs in the next match, a somewhat perplexing 3 minutes of action. Enos dominates until Riggs connects with a flying forearm, somehow incapacitating his opponent with a maneuver that shouldn't even get a 2 count. Considering that Riggs is the one with the big PPV match a few days later, he really should've come out of this one looking much more competent. Oh, WCW, you really gave no shits at times. (0/5)
The Four Horsemen, sans Ric Flair, arrive to share some thoughts with "Mean" Gene. Chris Benoit gets a load of time and does a decent job of it, but its Mongo McMichael who gets the biggest reactions, likely due to his NFL career and the Packers/Bears rivalry more than anything. Not a great segment. (2/5)
Konnan, Mr. JL, and La Parka (replacing Psychosis) make their way down the aisle for their match-up against Chris Jericho (replacing Juventud Guerrera), Chavo Guerrero, and Super Calo. Mike Tenay is back on commentary for this one, noting that this match is going to offer WCW its first glimpse into a more traditional luche libre style match (or trios match). Konnan is noticeably the least fluid worker of the bunch, with La Parka and Chris Jericho's segment maybe being the best sequence of the match. Speaking of La Parka, there's a spot in this match that looks so horrendous, it almost makes it a "must see" moment - Konnan hoisting Chavo onto his shoulders and La Parka attempting to connect him with a moonsault, but instead, knocking both guys over and landing on the top of his head. From here we get all sorts of splashes and planchas to the outside, each guy getting an opportunity to shine, including Jericho, who hits an absolutely awesome super frankensteiner. In my viewing journey through WCW's pay-per-views and Clashes dating back to the early 90s, I'm not sure there is more than one or two matches that are remotely comparable to the insanity of this one. Really fun match. (4/5)
Harlem Heat are taking on Joe Gomez and The Renegade next. This is as one-sided as one would expect, Stevie Ray working extra stiff to make that point clear for some reason. Nothing to see here, move along. (0/5)
After some words from Lee Marshall, Masahiro Chono takes on Alex Wright. Nick Patrick serves as referee for this one, sporting an nWo shirt instead of the more traditional black-and-white stripes. Wright tries his best to get the crowd behind him, but they seem disinterested in cheering him or his opponent. Patrick's purposely bad ref work is annoying, which is kind of the point, but in the context of such a tedious, meaningless match between two guys that the audience doesn't care about, it only serves to make Masahiro Chono look like a jobber and Wright like an idiot. The finish doesn't even make sense - why not just disqualify Wright? (1/5)
Big Boys Shopping Network time! Lex Luger's holding of some jobber in the rack is worth a bonus point. (+1)
Scott Norton vs. Eddie Guerrero (with Nick Patrick still serving as ref) is our next contest. More of a storyline-furthering angle than a real back-and-forth match, this one is still a fun watch. Norton's power offense may have never looked more impressive than it does here, hitting Guerrero with some devastating slams and a wicked powerbomb. Just when it seems Guerrero's chances are hopeless, though, a crowd-pleasing run-in occurs that is extra heartwarming when you consider the history between Guerrero and the man who comes to his aide. Solid segment. (2.5/5)
The Giant cuts a bizarre promo standing in front of the same backdrop used on that first Phil Seymour record. The Giant's delivery is good, but the lines he's spewing seem a bit strange and out of character, almost like they'd make more sense in a Raven promo.
In yet another gimmick match between these two longtime rivals, Kevin Sullivan takes on Chris Benoit in a Falls Count Anywhere contest. By this point in their feud, WCW had made it perfectly clear that their personal issue was a "domestic dispute" with Woman in the middle. These two don't even bother starting off in the ring, heading into the stands the second the bell rings, and going right into the men's room. Jimmy Hart gets struck by a trash can early on in a spot I'm not sure was intended before Sullivan tosses Benoit down a flight of concrete steps. Bobby Eaton and Doug Dillinger try their best to keep the fans from getting involved, but there are moments when it seems like these two are going to get eaten alive by a swarm of cheeseheads. The symbolic finish wraps this one up too quickly for this to be considered any sort of classic, but as far as a TV match goes, there's not a dull moment at any point of this one (even the post-match is pretty killer, no pun intended). (3/5)
The Amazing French Canadians make their way down the aisle for their contest with the returning Steiner Brothers, who are set to challenge The Outsiders in less than a week at the upcoming Souled Out PPV. The Canadians get at least a few minutes of offense in, but this one is all about the in-ring return of Scott Steiner, who looks incredibly dominate here. Nothing special at all, but it doesn't overstay its welcome, which is more than one can say about some of the Steiners' matches in 96'. Effective for what it is. (2/5)
The Four Horsemen, sans Ric Flair, arrive to share some thoughts with "Mean" Gene. Chris Benoit gets a load of time and does a decent job of it, but its Mongo McMichael who gets the biggest reactions, likely due to his NFL career and the Packers/Bears rivalry more than anything. Not a great segment. (2/5)
Konnan, Mr. JL, and La Parka (replacing Psychosis) make their way down the aisle for their match-up against Chris Jericho (replacing Juventud Guerrera), Chavo Guerrero, and Super Calo. Mike Tenay is back on commentary for this one, noting that this match is going to offer WCW its first glimpse into a more traditional luche libre style match (or trios match). Konnan is noticeably the least fluid worker of the bunch, with La Parka and Chris Jericho's segment maybe being the best sequence of the match. Speaking of La Parka, there's a spot in this match that looks so horrendous, it almost makes it a "must see" moment - Konnan hoisting Chavo onto his shoulders and La Parka attempting to connect him with a moonsault, but instead, knocking both guys over and landing on the top of his head. From here we get all sorts of splashes and planchas to the outside, each guy getting an opportunity to shine, including Jericho, who hits an absolutely awesome super frankensteiner. In my viewing journey through WCW's pay-per-views and Clashes dating back to the early 90s, I'm not sure there is more than one or two matches that are remotely comparable to the insanity of this one. Really fun match. (4/5)
Harlem Heat are taking on Joe Gomez and The Renegade next. This is as one-sided as one would expect, Stevie Ray working extra stiff to make that point clear for some reason. Nothing to see here, move along. (0/5)
After some words from Lee Marshall, Masahiro Chono takes on Alex Wright. Nick Patrick serves as referee for this one, sporting an nWo shirt instead of the more traditional black-and-white stripes. Wright tries his best to get the crowd behind him, but they seem disinterested in cheering him or his opponent. Patrick's purposely bad ref work is annoying, which is kind of the point, but in the context of such a tedious, meaningless match between two guys that the audience doesn't care about, it only serves to make Masahiro Chono look like a jobber and Wright like an idiot. The finish doesn't even make sense - why not just disqualify Wright? (1/5)
Big Boys Shopping Network time! Lex Luger's holding of some jobber in the rack is worth a bonus point. (+1)
Scott Norton vs. Eddie Guerrero (with Nick Patrick still serving as ref) is our next contest. More of a storyline-furthering angle than a real back-and-forth match, this one is still a fun watch. Norton's power offense may have never looked more impressive than it does here, hitting Guerrero with some devastating slams and a wicked powerbomb. Just when it seems Guerrero's chances are hopeless, though, a crowd-pleasing run-in occurs that is extra heartwarming when you consider the history between Guerrero and the man who comes to his aide. Solid segment. (2.5/5)
The Giant cuts a bizarre promo standing in front of the same backdrop used on that first Phil Seymour record. The Giant's delivery is good, but the lines he's spewing seem a bit strange and out of character, almost like they'd make more sense in a Raven promo.
In yet another gimmick match between these two longtime rivals, Kevin Sullivan takes on Chris Benoit in a Falls Count Anywhere contest. By this point in their feud, WCW had made it perfectly clear that their personal issue was a "domestic dispute" with Woman in the middle. These two don't even bother starting off in the ring, heading into the stands the second the bell rings, and going right into the men's room. Jimmy Hart gets struck by a trash can early on in a spot I'm not sure was intended before Sullivan tosses Benoit down a flight of concrete steps. Bobby Eaton and Doug Dillinger try their best to keep the fans from getting involved, but there are moments when it seems like these two are going to get eaten alive by a swarm of cheeseheads. The symbolic finish wraps this one up too quickly for this to be considered any sort of classic, but as far as a TV match goes, there's not a dull moment at any point of this one (even the post-match is pretty killer, no pun intended). (3/5)
The Amazing French Canadians make their way down the aisle for their contest with the returning Steiner Brothers, who are set to challenge The Outsiders in less than a week at the upcoming Souled Out PPV. The Canadians get at least a few minutes of offense in, but this one is all about the in-ring return of Scott Steiner, who looks incredibly dominate here. Nothing special at all, but it doesn't overstay its welcome, which is more than one can say about some of the Steiners' matches in 96'. Effective for what it is. (2/5)
The Wolfpack arrive for tonight's main event - Scott Hall vs. Lex Luger. Hall's chickenshit heel work in the nWo is so good it almost worked against him. The fact is, after the Outsiders run, where he played the bumper and Nash played the heavy, I'm not sure Hall ever got over as a legitimate singles guy the way he was in his Razor prime. Luger no sells Hall's initial offense but a clothesline from Big Sexy changes the tides. Lex was WCW's most respectable, credible hero at the time, younger and more physically imposing than Piper and far less mysterious than Sting or Savage, and the way he is presented as a threat to not only Hall but also his posse is perfect. While not a technical masterpiece or anything, the crowd is engaged, Hall's character work overshadows any of his sloppy mechanics, and Luger does the simple things well enough that it all works. Bonus half-point for Nash's spirited bumping and a post-match melee that effectively sets up Souled Out. (3/5)
With an overall entertainment rating of 2.20-out-of-5, Clash of the Champions XXXIV only works as a "time capsule" show - but even if that's the itch you're hoping to scratch, there are countless better options (like, say, the previous month's strong Starrcade show). There are sprinkles of excellence in here for the determined viewer (the opening contest and 6-man are well above average), but the low points are "ocean flooric." Joe Gomez is on the card and there's a Scotty Riggs/Mike Enos match, so what would one expect? Thanks to the work of the cruisers and short-but-sweet matches out of Benoit and Guerrero, even with a score in the bottom 2s, this one isn't a total dud.
FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuever
No comments:
Post a Comment