WWE Rebellion 2002

RATING LEVELS: 

Curt Hennig – A “GOAT” show, as Perfect as possible

Watch It – A consistently good show worth watching in its entirety

Watch It…With Remote in Hand – 3 or more above-average ratings 

High Risk Maneuver – Mostly filler, inessential, but 1-2 good matches

DUDleyville – Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch

WWE Rebellion 2002 - October 2002

Manchester, England

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Brock Lesnar is the WWE World Champion coming into tonight's show, Trish Stratus holds the Womens' Championship, Jamie Noble is the Cruiserweight Champion, and Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle hold the WWE World Tag Team Championships. There are some titleholders on the RAW brand as well, but I won't go through those here.

COMMENTATORS: Michael Cole and Tazz

Rebellion 2002 was a UK-only, SmackDown-only pay-per-view, meaning that fans were almost guaranteed that nothing of serious consequence would take place but that the action would be far better than if the RAW  roster showed up.

The show begins with a video package highlighting all the heels that are dominating the SmackDown brand - Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, and Eddie Guerrero. It's a somewhat spooky promo, narrated by an (American) child, that sets the stage for the night's show well.

Stephanie McMahon opens the show, welcoming the audience and announcing that not only will we have Edge vs. Lesnar and Heyman in the main event, but that she has also brought in the talents, for one night only, RAW's most entertaining performer - Booker T! Considering the RAW roster at the time, I'm not sure she's actually being hyperbolic. 

Booker T vs. Matt Hardy (in his Version 1.0 gimmick) became the opening contest, Matt cutting a short promo before the match begins. Fun test of strength shtick to kick things off before things get serious. Solid action and the crowd is live enough for it, popping for the nearfalls and rallying behind Booker T at the right times. Hardy does a nice job of controlling the tempo and building suspense. There's a lazy kickout from Booker T late in the match that hurts the finish considerably for me. (2/5)

After a backstage segment featuring Stephanie and Paul Heyman, we get a continuation of the Dawn Marie/Torrie Wilson storyline. On the previous episode of SmackDown, Dawn Marie tried to break up with Wilson's father, but after complimenting him as the "most passionate lover she ever experienced," Mr. Wilson planted a kiss on her and the love affair continued. In this bout we had noneother than John Cena tagging up with Marie to face real-life couple Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson. This is in the part of Kidman's career where he looked more like Cena of 2015 than even the Cena of 2002 did. Cena and Kidman start things off, Cena playing a very vanilla villain in green and white tights no less. He pulls out an impressive vertical suplex spot where he does a squat with Kidman on his shoulders before tagging in Dawn Marie. Torrie Wilson comes in and gives Dawn Marie a spanking before nailing her with a fairly vicious dropkick. The actual wrestling portion of this one ends there, with Torrie and Dawn rolling around for awhile before Cena comes in and hits Torrie Wilson with a bodyslam while the ref's back is turned. Could you imagine Cena doing that to any female today? He pulls her by the hair too, but Torrie uses the opportunity to hit him with a low blow and make the tag to Kidman. Dawn Marie gets involved, but Cena breaks things up with a big spinebuster to the former WCW Cruiserweight Champ. Cena takes a great bump off a Kidman heel kick, one of those little things that he does that, even then, would set him apart from just the average joe. Not a great match and not even really a good match, at least it doesn't run too long. (1.5/5)

Funaki, SmackDown's number one announcer, comes out. His opponent in this match is Crash Holly. Holly pulls a karate headband out of his pants and mocks Funaki by pantomiming some moves straight out of The Karate Kid just in case Funaki's character wasn't racist enough for you. Absolute nothing match that can't help but establish the fact that this was a "pay per view" in name only - the fact is, these UK shows are gussied up house shows. (1/5)

The Cruiserweight Championship is on the line next, with titleholder Jamie Noble defending against both Tajiri and Rey Mysterio Jr. in an Elimination Triangle match. After some good, fast-paced action involving all three men, Tajiri is discarded fairly early on, turning this into your standard singles match. Noble and Mysterio had good chemistry, but this is definitely more of a WWE-style cruisers match (wristlock heavy, few innovative maneuvers, Nidia shenanigans) than the top-shelf stuff WCW used to put on the 90s. The final 2-minutes are the best part of the action, the audience at one point actually seeming to bite that Noble could possibly drop the title on a B-level show. The best match of the night so far, but that's not really saying much. (3/5)

Fans were in store for a real treat next - Albert vs. Rikishi in a "Kiss My Arse" Match. Nothing much to say about this one aside from it's just about as boring as imaginable. Rikishi fans really confuse me because I just don't see his work as engaging at all. Albert may have put on some good matches in Japan, but I have no knowledge of Japanese wrestling and, if I were to start watching it, I'm not sure I'd go out of my way to see Albert's "Best Of." After the match there's a convoluted dance sequence featuring Rikishi, Tazz, Tony Chimel, and Michael Cole. I want to give this a half-point, but I can't figure out what about it would earn even that much respect. (0/5)

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit team up to defend their World Tag Team Championships against Los Guerreros next. The crowd is firmly behind Kurt Angle, chanting his name throughout the contest but not really reacting to anything else that anyone else does. Guerreros make some quick tags and there are a handful of moments when Benoit and Angle show some teamwork, but this one lacks the rich story and neat details that made the Benoit & Angle/Edge & Mysterio match the previous month such a fun watch. One can tell that the Guerreros were on their way to being a remarkable tag team, but here, they've not yet mastered their "Lie, Cheat, and Steal" personas to full effect. Everyone gets their signature offense in, as one would expect from a "house show" match, but considering the potential here, this one falls pretty short of great. The finish is hot and the crowd is into things, but this is too ho-hum to seek out. (2/5)

Main event time - Edge challenging Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for Lesnar's WWE World Heavyweight Championship. This one starts off with Lesnar playing the typical heel, showing off his brawn but taking "powders" every time Edge gets any momentum. Some might view this story as unnecessary, that there's no reason for Lesnar to "show ass" when he's such a dominant force, but I like the way they pull it off, in no small part due to Lesnar's performance, which comes off as more clever and calculated than cowardly. Lesnar isn't avoiding Edge out of fear, but because he wants to deaden the crowd, slow down the pace, and limit Edge's offensive flurries. It is smart, strategic wrestling and when Lesnar does finally gain control, it is clear that Edge was in an uphill battle from the beginning. Lesnar's offense is nuanced and varied here too - there's a stiff forearm from a seated position at one point, some nasty suplexes, and a Boston Crab-like move that does a lot in showing how much of an "all arounder" Lesnar was in 02'. Edge, meanwhile, has some solid hope spots throughout, many of them coming through his impressive athleticism, countering some of Lesnar's power moves into nearfalls and bringing the crowd into each one. Heyman isn't involved in more than a second or two of the match until its final act, when Edge gets a brief opportunity to score a pinfall on Lesnar's advocate. The Beast breaks it up, though, and the match continues, Edge landing a splash to the outside as well as a huge dropkick from the top rope back on the inside. Edge goes to the well one more time, but Lesnar sidesteps and Mike Chioda takes the bump. Edge lands his Edgecator, but there's no ref to make the would-be 3 count. Heyman interferes again, tossing a chair into the ring, but Edge is able to duck Lesnar's chair shot and connect with a spear for a big 2 count. With the referee still woozy, Lesnar is able to use the chair after all and one F-5 later, we have a winner. I would've preferred this match ended much cleaner as Lesnar really shouldn't need a chair to get the job done, nor should Edge have scored a would-be pinfall via a ref bump. The other 80% of this match though is well-worked and quality stuff. Too bad the finish was just too bloated to make this the clear match of the night. (3/5)


With a dismal average score of 1.78-out-of-5, Rebellion has got to be one of the most miserable viewing experiences I've stomached through since getting the Network. There's a level of enjoyment that one gets out of watching decades-old, "So Bad It's Good" WCW pay-per-views from the 90s, but this show offers no such fun. At least those shows, which may have featured such ridiculous characters and gimmicks as Robocop and The Yeti and the Chamber of Horrors, offered something different and unique (one other example might be the original nWo Souled Out show). Rebellion is just boring. The main event is the only thing really worth watching, though the triple threat is one of the better cruiser matches I've seen from the WWE's rather paltry attempt at reigniting the division post-WCW's demise. The lowest-rated WWE show I've reviewed by a healthy margin, Rebellion is pretty easy to classify.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville