WrestleMania XIX
Seattle, Washington - March 2003
CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Kurt Angle comes into the show as the reigning WWE Champion while Triple H holds the World Heavyweight Championship. Victoria is the Womens' Champion and the Cruiserweight Title is held by Matt Hardy. On the tag team side of things, Sean "Val Venis" Morley and Lane Storm hold the World Tag Team Championships and the team of Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas hold the WWE Tag Team Championships.
COMMENTATORS: Cole and Tazz (Smackdown), Ross and Lawler (RAW)
After Ashanti sings "America The Beautiful," Rey Mysterio Jr. challenges Matt Hardy for his WWE Cruiserweight Championship. I rated this one pretty highly - probably because, at this point in my viewing, I hadn't revisited much Mysterio and the Matt Hardy heel character was also really fresh to me (I wasn't a regular viewer during the Mattitude Era). At under 6 minutes, they worked a really quick pace and filled every second with action, which made the match seem much more epic than its runtime would suggest. (3.5/5)
Limp Bizkit perform a song next. In my database, I rated this as a 1-out-of-5, but I'm going to be a little bit nicer mathematically and just deduct a point from the show for featuring Bizkit who, in 2003, were well past their prime. Their 2000 album had sold 8 million copies...but a few months after this show, their follow-up (Results May Vary) petered out around just a million. Granted, that's a million albums sold more than any album I've ever been apart of, but I couldn't miss an opportunity to note how old hat (or would that be backwards cap) Limp Bizkit were by this point. (-1)
The next match has some backstory if I recall - The Undertaker was set to tag up with newcomer Nathan Jones, but by the time WrestleMania rolled around, Jones was still so green, they had him taken out of their match against Albert and Big Show on Heat (he does get involved later). I called Taker's match against Big Show at February's No Way Out one of the unexpected highlights of that show, but this one was well below average. (1.5/5)
The WWE Womens' Championship was on the line next, with champion Victoria defending the strap against Trish Stratus and Jazz in a triple threat. Victoria and Trish had a bunch of matches around this time that contradict the notion that, before the Diva Revolution of 2016, there was no good women's wrestling. While Stratus, Victoria, and Jazz certainly didn't produce Match of the Year caliber bouts with emotional peaks as high as Charlotte, Sasha, and Bayley do today, when they were "on," they were delivering matches well above what people remember. Look no further than this match for proof - it may not get crowd responses as spirited, but its a far better match (in terms of stiffness, high spots, and drama) than the match that come before it. I'm willing to guess I went at least a half-point too high on my rating two years ago, but I'm going to stick with it. (4/5)
Another triple-threat match followed, this one for the World Tag Team Championships - Rhyno and Chris Benoit and Los Guerreros challenging Team Angle/World's Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. I can't remember a single thing about this match but, based on how I rated it, I'm guessing there were at least a few good sequences between Eddie and Benoit and Rhyno probably got in a sick gore at some point and Haas and Benjamin probably did something cool too. Again, I'm sticking with my rating - this time because Dave Meltzer gave it the same one in the Observer. (3/5)
Speaking of Dave Meltzer, he gave the next match a pretty rare score of 4-and-a-Quarter stars - Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. Here was a match that had been built up superbly over the previous 3-4 months, with Jericho and Michaels scoring personal victories (if not necessarily pinfalls) over each other dating as far back as November 2002's Survivor Series, at the Royal Rumble, and on episodes of RAW. Though the in-ring work is fantastic, the fact that there is an inimitable "big fight feel" for a midcard match just goes to show the power of investing in a storyline and letting two performers develop a final chapter through straightforward, hard-hitting action. Provided 20+ minutes, Jericho and HBK have the space needed to live up to what this match was all about - deciding whether Mr. WrestleMania still deserved that moniker. Throw in a post-match angle that helped define both men's careers in this specific moment (and even alludes to the rivalry they'd renew several years alter) and you have one of the best WrestleMania matches of all time. (5/5)
Oh shit, Limp Bizkit played again. I'll be nice and not deduct another point, though, I probably should because they played a song called "Crack Addict." 2003 was a rough year.
Catfight segment, with Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson taking on Miller Lite models Tanya and Kitana. This was a thing in 2003? I guess I was too busy listening to Pig Lib to notice that these two women were a "thing." Or maybe I just didn't read enough Maxim. Whatever. Somehow this earned a point when I rated it in 2014. I'm guessing it has something to do with The Coach getting embarrassed and the segment not going for very long. (1/5)
Next up was one of the more controversial matches of the night - Triple H defending his World Heavyweight Championship against Booker T. When people reference Triple H's reign of terror in the 00s, this is one of those matches that always comes up. The borderline racist storyline pointed to Triple H finally getting his comeuppance here, but Booker T fell prey to predictable interference from Hunter's second, Ric Flair, and what should've been his crowning moment never materialized. What people forget is that this doesn't even stand as the most offensive time that Triple H buried him. In 2007, Triple H crushed King Booker in under 8 minutes for no reason beyond wanting to make his comeback at the expense of a hot, over heel. In a vacuum, though, its not a bad match - its actually quite good, with Booker T delivering a spirited performance and Triple H seemingly eager to help fans forget the subpar matches he had with Scott Steiner at the two previous pay-per-views. (3.5/5)
Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon followed, the old timers delivering a helluva "spectacle," but nothing resembling your typical wrestling match. Seeing Vince and Hogan lock up in a test of strength should be laughable, but it works here in large part due to Vince's impressive physique and a crowd that is fully engaged and eager to suspend their disbelief. Plus, they knew what would come soon enough - a trademark Vince McMahon bloodletting. By the end, Hogan is busted open too (as is announcer Hugo Savinovich) and all sorts of shenanigans ensue, including a huge table spot and an appearance from one unexpected guest star. What puts this match over the top, though, is the production. As the match goes on, you can almost imagine Vince and Pat Patterson sitting down and hammering out each detail, the Chairman grinning widely as he comes up with each successive "moment." Shane McMahon could learn something from his old man's best work - its not about the size of the bump, its about the story behind it. (4/5)
The second last match of the night - The Rock vs. Steve Austin - was going to be historic even if it wasn't going to be Austin's last match or, arguably, the Rock's last Great One (see what I did there?). But its impossible to watch this match with modern eyes and not see Austin's performance as nearly as character-defining as his historic clash with Bret Hart six years earlier. In that match, Austin showed his toughness by refusing to submit to the Hitman's Sharpshooter - here, he refuses to submit to his own failing body, willing himself through a far more physical match than he should've been able to have. The perfect send-off to the two greatest superstars in WWE history. (5/5)
Main event time - Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. On any other card, this would be your Match of the Night and, from a "movez!1!" perspective, these two deliver action that not even Jericho and Michaels could provide, let alone a nearly-crippled Austin and a semi-retired Rock. What keeps them from stealing the show is emotion - Lesnar was at the peak of his popularity here, but was never beloved. Angle was a great smarmy heel and arguably the most naturally gifted talent in the history of the company, but he couldn't touch Michaels' showmanship, for example. Still, these are the slightest of knocks against what is a hellacious contest (and one that probably shouldn't have happened as Angle showed up in Seattle with his neck in even worse shape than Austin's) that features all sorts of nasty suplexes and clever counters. More than any other match on the card, this one pointed to what the WWE main event style would become in the post-Attitude Era. While Rock and Austin got tremendous mileage out of spit-takes, facial expressions, and comedy (The Rock decking himself out in Austin's vest in the last match, for example), Angle and Lesnar put their on the workrate pedal and dared others to keep up, ultimately leading to guys like Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero finding their place in the upper tier of the company as few others could keep up. Even John Cena's in-ring work is more easily comparable to what Lesnar made "the norm" in 03'-04' than what Austin and The Rock were doing in 98'-99'. And, just in case future generations wonder if pursuing this style had the potential of shortening careers, you get the finish - arguably the most gasp-inducing botches of all time. It is an ugly, ugly botch that looks like it should've ended Lesnar's career but somehow doesn't. Hell, it doesn't even end the match. Unbelievable stuff. (4.5/5)
With a (revised) Kwang score of 3.40-out-of-5, WrestleMania XIX falls just slightly below Curt Hennig Level. There may be no other show in history that offers as many "must watch" matches - but there's also one of the worst Undertaker bouts of his career, two (TWO!) Limp Bizkit performances, and a cat fight segment featuring two untrained beer models and two barely-trained bikini models. Still, fast-forwarding through these blemishes would take away the "2003ness" of the whole card, like skipping the dialogue-heavy exposition scenes from a Tarantino movie so you can get to the shootouts quicker. You'll need a break from the awesomeness too, so, when you hear Fred Durst speak, just use that time to grab another beer or hit the john knowing you're not going to miss anything.
FINAL RATING - Watch It
Click wrestlemania 36
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