WCW Clash of the Champions XIII: Thanksgiving Thunder

The guy in charge of naming the Clash of the Champions series around was a genius.

WCW Clash of the Champions XIII: Thanksgiving Thunder

Jacksonville, Florida - November 1990

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into the show, Sting is the reigning WCW World Champion, Stan Hansen holds the United States Championship, Arn Anderson is the TV Champion, and Doom are the World Tag Team Champions. The Steiners, meanwhile, hold the United States Tag Team Championships. 

COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross and Paul E. Dangerously

Before we break down Clash XIII, I should note that I enjoyed the hell out of Halloween Havoc 90', the show that preceded this one, giving it a somewhat rare "Watch It All" rating (though I can't seem to find the actual review on my blog). I rated both Luger/Hansen and Sting/Sid as solid 3-star matches and went even higher for the brutal Steiners/Nasties match, the heat-filled Doom/Horsemen bout, and a classic southern tag pitting Tommy Rich and Ricky Morton against The Midnight Express. Haters can hate all they want too, but The Black Scorpion angle with Sting is a heaping helping of some of the best wrestlecrap ever too. So, with that in mind, I'm coming into this show with somewhat high expectations for a decent blend of in-ring action and cheese-tastic storylines.

On with the show...


The show begins with The Fabulous Freebirds, Bobby Eaton, and "Little" Richard Marley (somewhat-notable NWA star Rocky King) making their way down the aisle to take on The Southern Boys. El Gigante was advertised for the match but was, according to the commentary, taken out by the Freebirds so the match turns into a basic 2-on-2 tag bout. Sadly, Bobby Eaton, easily the best worker out there, is the one sent to the back instead of anyone else on the heel side and thus this match now has a ceiling of average. At just 6 minutes, the Freebirds (wisely) don't overstay their welcome as their in-ring deterioration was nearing completion by this time. (2/5)

Sting is interviewed and we get some more mind games from Black Scorpion. Yes, more please. This Black Scorpion stuff is gold. (+1)

Brian Pillman vs. Buddy Landell is next. There was a time I could get behind Landell a little bit as he is one of the most loathsome heels there could ever be, from the look to the mannerisms to the cowardice - he's just a perfect punching bag. Unfortunately, Landell had documented "personal demon" issues during the 80s and, from what I understand, even up to this point in his career, which hurt his in-ring work to a noticeable degree. Here, Pillman has to wrestle at about 70% of the speed he obviously wants to because Landell is either gassed early on or his head is just not in the game for some of Pillman's more ahead-of-its-time offense. The best spot of the match (and maybe the night) is a crossbody Pillman pulls off into the guardrail that we may see all the time in 2017, but certainly weren't seeing regularly in 1990. Decent enough TV match that showcases how good Pillman was in his prime and how much bigger of a star he would've been had he come up in the business in the mid-90s rather than the late 80s. (2.5/5)

Next up, Big Cat vs. "The Candyman" Brad Armstrong. The addition of Dangerously to the broadcast team was a huge improvement over the somewhat colorless everyman Bob Caudle and this match is a fine example of why. Dangerously puts the Big Cat (who longtime fans will recognize as the future Mr. Hughes, the bodyguard to what feels like at least a half dozen guys in the 90s) over on commentary enough that one could actually see him as a potential future star. In the ring, Armstrong does an even stronger job at making the Big Cat, very limited in what he could do then, shine as well with his bumping. Curtis Hughes will not top anyone's list as an all-time great worker, but what he did, he did okay even this early in his career. Not a bad squash match, but nothing more than that. (2/5)

Dick the Bruiser cuts a promo about, as a guest referee at Starrcade 90', he will make sure there is a winner. It'd be helpful if you told us in what match, grandpa. 

Back in the ring, "Prime Time" Brian Lee gets soundly defeated by the popular Z-Man. Inoffensive sub-4 minute match that peaks with Z-Man's terrifically annoying entrance theme. Was there a time when Clash of the Champions shows were actually meant to promote big shows and really impress the audience...? I ask because at this point in the show, I'm not sure what WCW thought was going to be appealing about what they're presenting. (1/5)

After a commercial break, Michael "Don't Call Me Rotundo" Wallstreet and his new manager Alexandra York (Terri Runnels) cut a brief, surprisingly entertaining promo. It is remarkable how much better this gimmick is compared to the "Captain" character and how fitting it is for the rugged Syracuse standout. His opponent tonight is The Star Blazer (NWA journeyman Tim Horner under a mask) who gets a surprising amount of offense in considering one would assume this match was designed to put over Wallstreet and York's flawless, computer-generated strategy. Another sub-5 minute match that, at times, seems to be working against itself by not effectively highlighting the talent it should. (1/5)

Gordon Solie runs down the top 10 tag teams and singles competitors in WCW and we also get a brief video package hyping the Pat O'Conner Memorial International Tag Team Tournament (and its 7-foot trophy prize). 

For no apparent reason beyond getting the tournament over, we get a qualifying match between two teams from Africa - Sgt. Kreuger and Col. DeKlerk (of Johannesburg) and the team of Kalua and the Botswana Beast (from just plain ol' Africa according to Capetta). I didn't catch it till I looked it up, but Colonel DeKlerk was actually Rocco Rock of Public Enemy fan and was not from Africa at all and Kreuger was Ray Apollo (who became the babyface Doink) and is also not from Africa. Kalua and the Beast, meanwhile, were enhancement guys with very non-notable careers in the indies according to what I could find online (which was very little). Almost instantly the crowd turns on this match, "boring" heckles delivered steadily from start to finish. Kalua and the Beast are green, awful, and uncoordinated while Kreuger and DeKlerk are comparatively competent (I believe it is DeKlerk/Rocco Rock who controls the entire match, performs any and all decent spots, and blatantly calls it aloud inside the ring). The irony of calling this a "qualifying match" when I don't think any of these four technically qualified as actual pro-wrestlers at the time should not be lost on anyone. Terrible match. (0/5)

I'm going to review the next segment/match as a whole because the target here is to cement the fact that Lex Luger is an absolute fearless bad ass (which the crowd seems to already be completely sold on). First, he's confronted by Big Cat, who he shuts up almost effortlessly. Then, he makes his way down the aisle for his match against The Motor City Madman (only to get half-attacked by Big Cat, who doesn't really get the better of him before they're split apart). I'm guessing the feuds with Big Cat and the Madman were designed to give him placeholder enemies while US Champion Stan Hansen (who he dropped the title to at Halloween Havoc a month prior) split his time between the NWA and Japan. Once the actual bout starts, the Madman tries to use his size to take out the Total Package, but Luger won't stay down, cutting him off at every turn and eventually scoring a fairly easy pinfall after a clothesline. Considering he had significant trouble getting the Madman up in a vertical suplex, trying to hoist him up for the Torture Rack was probably not going to happen. Extra half-point for the absurd vignette in which Motor City Madman is discovered by Paul E. Dangerously and his face is hidden for over 80% of the video because this was how WCW opted to establish how big he was. Overall, effective and, while this sort of stuff wouldn't really fly in the WWE today, the crowd eats all of it up because Luger was super popular. (2.5/5)

The Nasty Boys take on The Renegade Warriors next. This show is messing with my head because, while I know its a 2-hour show, this feels like hour 6 or 7 by now. Another "nothing" match for what I believe was maybe the last Nasties appearance in WCW for awhile? I think its really telling that the Renegade Warriors never got "the call" from the WWE despite wrestling for over a decade in the states and internationally. Their look was unimpressive, their in-ring work was unimpressive, they didn't seem to have any swagger or charisma, its just a total fail. When the Nasty Boys are wrestling circles around you, its a sign you may never measure up. Half-point for the Nasties maybe being in the best shape of their careers during this run. (0.5/5)


Just like Lex Luger got a bit of a showcase earlier, Sid Vicious gets one through a match against The Night Stalker (aka Bryan "Wrath" Clark). Vicious is now working as a babyface because, well, its never really clear - but beyond the fact that the crowd loves him, he actually shows vulnerability, which is something new from the big guy. When this happened it had the reputation of being one of the worst matches of all time, but that seems like quite a statement to make about a match this short and meaningless. I mean, what was anyone expecting? Bryan Clark may be one of the most consistently cited "bad wrestlers" ever thanks to this one and the Kronik vs. Brothers of Destruction match a decade earlier. I'm giving it a point because, while the match isn't good, features plenty of gaffes, and involves the single worst use of a battle axe in the history of steel, Sid not only gets great reactions but even delivers a few of his own in a newfound role as a fan favorite. (1/5)

The Fabulous Freebirds cut a promo running down El Gigante, but, big surprise, The Southern Boys show up with none other than the giant Brazilian himself. If Gigante was around the whole night, why wasn't he there for the opening match? Oh, because they knew even filling a ring with seasoned veterans like the Freebirds and Bobby Eaton and the Southern Boys wouldn't be enough to mask Gigante's terribleness? Makes sense. 

The Steiner Brothers squash Magnum Force next in some booking seriously out of Extreme Warfare Revenge. After destroying Magnum Force in well under 5 minutes, the Nasties try to run them out of the ring but get sent packing almost instantly too. So, I stand corrected, this was the last appearance of the Nasties in WCW for awhile. Nothing really to see here except maybe the Frankensteiner. (0.5/5)

Ric Flair and Arn Anderson join Tony Schiavone to cut a promo. Flair is on as usual, the Nature Boy doing what he does so damn well - stringing together catchphrase after catchphrase but making every one sound original and brilliant. It truly is a gift. I wish this could've just played on a loop instead of the last couple of matches.

Yes! A recap of the Black Scorpion angle in all of its bizarre and cheesy glory! The Black Scorpion segment from Halloween Havoc 90' is one of my favorite things ever but I had not seen some of the other developments (including his "voiceover attack" in what I'm guessing was probably, at the very least, an average match with Bobby Eaton). (+1)

Here we go - Paul E. Dangerously welcomes the WCW World Heavyweight Champion Sting to the Danger Zone for an advertised one-on-one encounter with the Black Scorpion himself. Sting is decked out in a Canadian tuxedo with Venice Beach flair and demands that the Scorpion show up. Music plays and the Black Scorpion appears on the ramp. He pulls a "fan" out of the audience and proceeds to perform a rudimentary magic trick on him like some sort of evil Amazing Jonathan. He brings the poor sap into a cage and turns him into a leopard for good measure, all the while Paul Dangerously's hooting and hollering drowns out Ole Anderson's voiceover. The Black Scorpion disappears behind a curtain and once again I'm left speechless by what WCW believed was going to effectively bring in buys from a general wrestling audience. (+1)

Before our main event we get another video recap - this time of the feud between Doom and the Horsemen. I hadn't seen much of this footage before so I was unaware that there were some stakes involved (aside from the WCW World Tag Team Championships) - namely Flair's Rolls Royce and Teddy Long's pride (if Doom lose their match at Starrcade, Long would have to be their personal chauffeur for a day). 

A coin toss is held, but I don't think anyone thought Arn Anderson was going to main event this show. Flair vs. Butch Reed is a fun Flair-by-numbers match but nothing really beyond that. The crowd is pro-Horsemen, but both sides are technically rulebreakers so at no point does Flair go out of his way to elicit sympathy from the audience, cutting corners (with help from Double A) just as much as Doom does. The crowd is fully into this, despite it being just a somewhat lean Greatest Hits version of better Flair main events - the agonized hollering, the Flair flop, a slightly-modified over-the-turnbuckle-onto-the-apron bit (this time into a Ron Simmons clothesline), headlock takedowns and working the knee are all there, but it comes off as a match that Flair could've had in his sleep at this point and doesn't really add anything interesting in the context of the feud itself, which was kind of the point. (2.5/5)


Clash of the Champions XIII was nominated (and may have even won) "Worst Show of the Year" in the Wrestling Observer in 1990 and its hard to argue against it. There's not a single match here that is above average or worth watching even once. I love WCW's production around this time - the music, the vignettes, the gimmicks - for how cheesy it is, but shows like Halloween Havoc 90' from a few weeks prior show that when paired with great wrestling, the result is why I became a fan in the first place. This show offers nothing beyond a handful of good laughs and its score of 1.68-out-of-5 puts it well out of "passable" range.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville