WCW Great American Bash 99'

WCW Great American Bash 99'

Baltimore, MD - June 1999

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into the show, Kevin Nash is the reigning WCW World Champion, the US Championship is held by Scott Steiner, his brother Rick Steiner is the TV Champion, Rey Mysterio is the Cruiserweight Champion, and the team of Chris Benoit and Saturn are the WCW Tag Team Champions.

COMMENTATORS: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan

Master P and the No Limit Soldiers arrive in a limosuine and are welcomed by Curt Hennig, who pretends he's a fan of the band before breaking their CD apart. Its unclear why the Soldiers, who outnumber him 6-to-1 don't just beat him down, but Hennig certainly showed guts insulting them to their face. No wonder he'd end up getting cheered by the end of this storyline. This is the kind of crap I love. (+1)

A video package goes over the build to tonight's main event and, again, I'm just amazed at what WCW was building their company around at this point. Randy Savage and Kevin Nash's feud isn't too dissimilar to the worst stuff WWE has done, its just striking that all these awful tropes exist within a single feud - and that it also involved a contortionist in a leading role and that Kevin Nash was dumb enough to believe that Mach's harem was doing anything other than leading him into a trap. 

In the ring, things start off with a hardcore bout pitting Knobbs (now reunited with Jimmy Hart) against Hak. Based on some of the signage in the arena, Hak is fairly over, but once the bell rings, there's not really any heat for this match. It doesn't help that the action is so one-note, essentially just weapon shots and Hak prat falling into a ladder. On the one hand, Knobbs and Hak wrestling an obviously safer style (the ridiculous chair shots to the skull from their first match are nowhere to be found) was a necessary step in preventing countless injuries in the future, but if the one thing that their previous contest had going for it was ultra-violence, the tameness of this match makes it a disappointment (and the crowd itself makes note of it through incessant "table" chants). I'm not going to say that not giving Hak any sort of personality was a major mistake, but it certainly doesn't help in a scenario like this, where giving us a reason to like him might help the audience care about his post-match fate. Sub-average match between two uninteresting characters. (1.5/5)

Backstage, Buff Bagwell thanks Roddy Piper for booking him in a "big match" against Disco Inferno. There was a time when Marcus Alexander Bagwell seemed like, at the very least, a US Title-level star, so the feud with Inferno definitely felt like a step down for Buff more than a step up for Disco.

Van Hammer vs. Mikey Whipwreck is next. This match has some surprisingly clever spots in it, though general sloppiness and the lack of either guy being very over prevents it from being considered anything more than passable. Whipwreck is a legendary bumper, at good at selling near-death as anyone, and he puts that skill to good use here. There's a great moment when Hammer lifts Whipwreck up in body slam position and then climbs to the steel steps only to drop him next first onto the guardrail that should've led to a countout finish but didn't. I'm not sure I'd seen that particular move before but with better camera work it would've been even nastier. Van Hammer's finishing move isn't too bad either. Whenever I wonder why Hammer never got a run in the WWE despite a great look and years of experience, I remind myself that those years of experience never resulted in him ever being smoother than sandpaper and it makes sense. Squash matches like these are not squashy enough to really elevate the guy getting the push. (1.5/5)

Buff Bagwell takes on Disco Inferno in the next match-up. Bagwell has some crowd support and Inferno has decent enough heat but for this match to be billed as the first step Bagwell is taking towards being regarded as a "serious" challenger seems bizarre when he was feuding with the far more legitimate and credible Scott Steiner before this. To make matters worse for Bagwell, Inferno owns him for large portions of the match, at one point almost winning by an embarrassing count-out. Over-selling neck damage, it almost seems like Bagwell is playing possum - which would've been stupid, but would've at least shown the Buff Daddy to actually have a strategy coming into the match - but instead, he just hits a routine comeback that makes him look like the better wrestler but not by much. I'm a Disco fan and Bagwell isn't nearly as bad a worker as the haters like to paint him, but this was not good. (1/5)

A video package airs hyping the Konnan/Curt Hennig feud which led to the contest that follows - Curt Hennig and Bobby Duncum Jr. ("The West Texas Rednecks") squaring off against Konnan and Rey Mysterio Jr. This match earns a bonus point just for featuring Hennig's amazing "Rap is Crap" theme song, maybe the single greatest thing WCW did in 1999. Master P is shown at ringside before Konnan cuts his usual pre-match promo. For no apparent reason, Mysterio is sporting a gas mask on his head. Was that hip in urban circles at the time? Even before the bell rings, the babyfaces are on attack, pleasing the crowd and cutting Hennig off from further insulting the No Limit Soldiers. This one doesn't run very long and the in-ring action isn't too shabby either, no surprise considering half the equation is Curt Hennig and Rey Mysterio Jr. Even Konnan, who I find, even at his best, is no better than slightly annoying, is much more tolerable in a tag scenario. The crowd comes alive whenever the faces dominate and Hennig and Duncum wisely never bog things down with rest holds or too much cutting the ring in half. The final stretch is fun, though one has to wonder how the West Texas Rednecks having the last laugh is supposed to make the No Limit Soldiers (who run off in rather cowardly fashion) come off as tough guys. Good enough to be the best match of the show thus far. (2.5/5)

Ernest "The Cat" Miller and his manager Sonny Onoo make their way down the aisle for the next bout. The Cat was doing a James Brown gimmick at the time and his entrance music is comically corny. His advertised opponent was Scott Norton, but Horace Hogan shows up because he has unfinished business with Miller from screwing him over on Nitro or Thunder that week. I, like most everyone in the arena, would've preferred to see the powerhouse Norton in action. Miller and Hogan proceed to put on a passable wrestling match that, like Bagwell/Inferno, inexplicably goes 50/50 when it would've been far more effective in getting The Cat over to have him soundly beat his bigger, stronger opponent. The best thing about this, aside from The Cat's music, is that it doesn't last too long. (1.5/5)

In a fight for the Presidency of WCW - Ric Flair, the President of WCW, takes on Roddy Piper, the Commissioner of WCW. Its important to remember that, in the build-up to this, Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko essentially quit the Horsemen and supported Piper, who promised to let younger talent (like Buff Bagwell) get their shot in the spotlight. Flair, meanwhile, is seconded by Arn Anderson and Asya. The crowd is hot for this despite the fact that is in a complete joke of a match, Flair flopping around from Piper's awful "boxing" strikes for minutes on end. At least its obvious they're going for comedy and not credible grappling, the two past-their-primers busting out all the prat falls they can think of (including Flair very nearly exposing himself to thousands of people on a sunset flip spot). Eventually, Flair strikes Piper with a pair of brass knucks and locks in the figure four. Arn Anderson assists him, but before Piper can tap, Buff Bagwell shows up to make the save! Like an idiot, though, Buff climbs in the ring and goes after Flair, costing Piper the match. Piper, instantly realizing that Bagwell has inadvertently screwed him, joins Double A and Flair in beating down on him as the crowd cheers. This was, I believe, designed to jumpstart the "New Blood" angle, but Buff Bagwell's actions are so moronic that it'd be impossible to get behind him after this (and the fans didn't, at least in this arena). A half-point for Arn Anderson's spinebuster. (0.5/5)

Sting vs. Rick Steiner is next. Sting is in tremendous shape at this point, which is a shame because I'm not sure his stock in the company had ever been lower. This Sting, motivated and healthy, is the one that would've been the Dream Match opponent for the Undertaker. Steiner, meanwhile, is just generic - he's ditched the headgear and the colorful singlet and though he still throws a mean suplex, he's about as interesting in this context as Road Warrior Animal was in 2006. Sting hits a huge splash at one point, literally doing everything he can think of to make this more interesting than it is, while Steiner works a surfboard knee to the back to make sure the audience doesn't enjoy this one too much. The Stinger hits two Stinger Splashes and locks in the Deathlock in what should've been a clear, clean victory, but the Gremlin is able to grab the ropes to survive. Sting tosses him to the outside and Schiavone reminds us that pinfalls count anywhere...even though that stipulation hasn't mattered at all until now and common sense would tell you that Sting basically had the match won within the ropes. Sting hits him with a suplex on the floor as they make their way backstage, where Tank Abbott, Sting, and a pack of dogs (yes, dogs!) attack the Stinger. WCW production here is just unbelievable - honestly, it can not be accurately put to words what watching the 15-second angle is like. "Must watch" doesn't quite do it justice because it is just so, so stupid and maybe too poorly produced and brief to really be worth seeking out. We don't see Sting take a pinfall (because he's presumably being attacked by a doberman) but the Steiners make their way down the aisle and proclaim victory via a meandering-but-somewhat-entertaining promo. I don't know how to rate a match like this, but I will say, for about 15 seconds, it is an incredible piece of wrestling. (3/5)

Cut to a video promo hyping the next match - the World Tag Team Champions, Benoit and Saturn defending the straps against the Jersey Triad's Diamond Dallas Page and Kanyon. Bam Bam Bigelow is in his team's corner, giving them a distinct advantage in the match. Finally, a match wrestled competently by everyone involved. A bit more reminiscent of the type of tag matches we get in the WWE today than any sort of "classic southern tag," Page and Kanyon are at least wise enough to know their role is to cut corners and cheat at every tunr and they do so effectively throughout. Benoit and Saturn, meanwhile, do a solid job of stringing together hope spots but wrestling from underneath the whole time, never dominating but also never slipping so far behind that they're out of the match entirely. Getting the basics right means that the crowd's interest never really lulls, even when Kanyon locks in a front facelock for a stretch. That being said, there's an unfortunate repetitiveness to some of the sequences, the constant breaking up of pinfalls seeming to irritate the crowd more than impress them. Benoit ends up landing a headbutt from the top as Page hits a Diamond Cutter simultaneously, but neither men can make the cover. Malenko comes down the aisle to try to even the playing field but ends up distracting the referee as Bam Bam Bigelow gets involved again and he and Page hit a two-man Diamond Cutter to wrap things up. Lots of good action here but maybe a touch too over-booked for its own good. (3/5)

Main event time - Randy Savage challenging Kevin Nash for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Michael Buffer is out to welcome the combatants because WCW were still in the money-burning business as well as the pro-wrestling business. Savage is accompanied by a bevy of beautiful including Madusa. Nash controls early as Mike Tenay reminds us that Savage's top rope elbow drop is legal again. Savage, with help from his harem, is able to get the upperhand as this match lurches on with very little action and neither guy looking good at all. Say what you will about the Undertaker's workrate or how basic Steve Austin and Mick Foley's movesets were around this same time, Vince at least had the good sense to double down on the gimmicky stuff (announce table spots, in-the-crowd brawling, screwjobs and bird-flipping) in order to keep the crowd interested. Here, and throughout the show, the most frequent transition seems to be a kick to the balls. Madusa's kicks to Nash's arm and ribs are the best maneuvers perfomed all night, though Mach's elbow drop isn't bad (its just the rest of his performance thats hard to watch). Eventually we get a schmozz ending featuring the return of Sid Vicious to an (unsurprising) pop. Sid had a real knack for coming into promotions and getting a huge ovation because he was almost always inserting himself into arguably stale situations (for example, as the anti-Hogan during the tail end of Hulk's feud with Sgt. Slaughter or even, oddly enough, in the HBK/Deisel feud of 95'). Sid hits a fairly garish powerbomb on Nash to drive his message home and then exits with Team Savage. With about a 10-minute runtime and very little good wrestling, this could be considered an all-time bad main event if WCW hadn't already had so many main events over the course of its run that were even worse. All the points earned in this match go to Madusa and Sid and maybe a touch for Nash's effort in trying to sell enough to give the match a story. Sadly, Savage was so past his prime here that he actually made Flair and Piper look better comparatively. (1/5) 

With a pitiful Kwang Score of 1.83-out-of-5, Great American Bash 99' is the worst show I've ever reviewed, but its close. Its few saving graces are so minor and brief that its impossible to recommend, though if you're a fan of WrestleCrap, there's probably a YouTube playlist out there that would include some of the highlights related to the No Limit Soldiers in WCW, Sting getting attacked by dogs, and the ridiculousness of the Randy Savage/Kevin Nash feud. The only good wrestling on the entire 2+ hour show come from the places you'd most expect - Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit, DDP - with the biggest disappointment being that Sting, in the best shape and fighting with the most spirit he had in at least a year or two, has to be involved in such a terrible, terrible angle. Mostly unwatchable.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville