WWE Royal Rumble 88'

WWE Royal Rumble 88'

Hamilton, Ontario, CA - January 1988

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, Hulk Hogan was the WWE (WWF) World Champion, the Intercontinental Championship was held by the Honky Tonk Man, the WWE Women's Tag Team Champions were the Glamour Girls, the WWE Women's Champion was "Sensational" Sherri Martel (the second last champion of her era, she would keep the title until July when she dropped it to Rockin' Robin, who would see her title essentially retired in 1990). The WWE Tag Team Champions were The Strike Force, Tito Santana and Rick Martel.

The first ever Royal Rumble, which was not a pay-per-view but actually a TV special, kicks off with Vince McMahon running down the card, introducing his co-host Jesse "The Body" Ventura, and then sending things to the ring for our opening contest - "Ravishing" Rick Rude vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat. These two had an absolutely awesome Ironman Match years later in WCW, so I went into this with high expectations. Lots of good character work early from both guys - these two are in no rush as they have the crowd in the palm of their hands and they know it. Rude's selling and facial expressions are outstanding and because Steamboat is so over they are able to get big reactions for something as simple as an extended wristlock/armbar sequence. Rude gains control for a stretch but Steamboat regains control with some speedy slides, a hiptoss, and then a return to the armbar. This is the kind of laser-focused wrestling that we just don't see often enough today as wrestling matches have become all about trading "signature offense." After sending Steamboat to the outside, Rude brings him back into the ring with an impressive suplex for a 2 count. Rude applies a rear-chinlock but Steamboat won't quit. Rude draws some heat by taking a break to pose for the crowd and then reapplies the hold, but again Steamboat works his way to his knees, eventually lifting up Rude in the electric chair and dropping him back-first onto the mat! Rude manages to hit an atomic drop, though, and then goes back to the chinlock. As Ventura notes, this is sound strategy. Steamboat escapes and bashes Rude head-first into the buckle. There's a series of great pinfall attempts that follow, Rude and Steamboat both getting to show off their stamina and quickness. Steamboat goes to the top and goes for a crossbody, but Rude pulls the referee into his path and then hoists Rude up in a backbreaker submission. We never see Steamboat submit, but Hebner calls for the bell. Rude celebrates like he's won the match, but the official announcement is that Steamboat has won by DQ! This wasn't a must-see match, but it was above-average due to the smart pacing, both guys' performances, and an interesting finish that allowed both guys to leave the match strong. (3/5)

The next segment sees Dino Bravo, backed by his manager Frenchie Martin and with Jesse Ventura spotting him, attempt to surpass the 705-pound World Record for the bench press. This could've been a good segment, but it goes on far too long, with Bravo starting at 450 pounds and then having to work his way up to a gimmicked 715 pounds. And that's really the problem - if it was all gimmicked to begin with, why not start at 500? Why not start at 600? Why do we have to see him do 3 or 4 bench presses as the crowd's boredom grows when this segment could've been cut down by a good 5-10 minutes? I'm all about Wrestlecrap and "Network Nuggets of Awesomeness," forgotten angles and gimmicks that are silly or strange, but this isn't any of those - its just repetitive and doesn't even end with Bravo lifting the weight (its clear how much Ventura is helping). 

After a commercial break, we're back in the ring for Jimmy Hart's Glamour Girls (who were the Women's Tag Team Champions at the time) vs. The Jumping Bomb Angels from Japan in a 2-out-of-3 falls match. The match starts out with some problematic commentary from Jesse and Vince as Ventura asks if McMahon even knows the names of the Bomb Angels - which he does not. He decides to just call them Pink and Red (based on their ring attire) and even asks aloud, "Well, what else are you going to do?" I'd like to think that even in 1988, learning people's names was a thing. At least he knows the names of the Glamour Girls (Judy Martin and Leilani Kai)? This match has a reputation for being ahead of times and while that's true, it doesn't necessarily make it a 5-star classic. The good outweighs the bad, certainly, but there are some noticeably not-so-great moments (a moment in the first fall when the Glamour Girls' struggle to make a tag is made to look way, way harder than it actually is, the imperfect sunset flip leading to the second fall). But there are also some undeniably awesome moments - a kickass reverse powerbomb leading to the first fall, some nifty submissions, a great bridge from one of the Angels. The finish gets a massive ovation from the crowd, which just goes to show that the audiences in 1988 were absolutely "ready" for competitive women's wrestling that wasn't based on sexist depictions of female athletes but Vince just didn't see it as worth developing, promoting, or marketing. I'd call this just a hair short of being "must see." (3.5/5)

A video package follows, recapping the Hulk Hogan/Ted DiBiase & Andre the Giant feud. This leads to the arrival of Andre and Dibiase, who head to the ring for the official contract signing of the biggest rematch in WWE history - up to that point: Andre vs. Hulk for Hogan's WWE Championship on February 5th as part of the Saturday Night's Main Event spin-off special The Main Event. Like the Dino Bravo segment earlier, the performers really milk every single second - but at least we're talking about actual stars here so its not nearly as dull. DiBiase taunts Hogan as he considers signing the contract and I love that he notes how Andre actually pinned Hogan at WrestleMania III - an incredibly misleading reference to the fact that, very early in their WrestleMania match, Andre did get a nearfall that looked a lot like a 3 count after Hogan made his first attempt to slam the Giant. Andre reads through the contract and even Vince seems fed up with how long this process is taking. After Andre signs, both men rise to their feet and DiBiase goads him to attack the Hulkster, which he does (after Hogan lunges at the Million Dollar Man). Andre slams Hulk's head on the table and then dumped the table on him and leaves. That was anti-climactic.

Main event time - the first ever Royal Rumble match. Unlike future versions, this one only featured 20 entrants. Bret Hart and TIto Santana start things off, which means we get quite a few racist zingers out of Ventura on commentary. "The Natural" Butch Reed comes in at #3. Through my deep dives into old WCW/NWA pay-per-views, I've finally seen Reed's value after only knowing him from being a part of Doom. Jim Neidhart comes in at #4 and all three heels beat down on Tito, which gets good heat. The timer has obviously been gimmicked as there is no way 2 minutes pass before #5 - Jake "The Snake" Roberts - comes to the ring and dumps Reed. The Snake is super over and shows a ton of fire, helping his babyface friend. For someone considered a master of psychology it doesn't really make sense that he would help Tito Santana when he was on the precipice of being eliminated but whatever. King Harley Race comes in at #7. Jim Brunzell comes in next, the Killer Bee nearly eliminating Bret Hart at one point. Another NWA vet, Sam Houston, comes in at #9. I'd have to admit to having no idea he ever wrestled in the WWE (and even more shocked to learn that he stuck around till 91'). "Dangerous" Danny Davis shows up next in his ridiculous striped pants. Meanwhile, Race and Roberts have some fun off to the side with Race springing back-and-forth on the middle rope as Jake decks him. Race does not look good at all and wouldn't last too much longer as a regular in-ring competitor. Boris Zhukov comes in next, one of the WWE's resident stereotypical Russian villains. On commentary, Ventura gives a ton of credit to Bret Hart, who is still hanging in there. For some reason, both Nikolai Volkoff and the original "Rock" Don Muraco come down the aisle at the same time. Volkoff is denied entry but Muraco comes in. Zhukov gets eliminated during the confusion. Volkoff eventually comes in and Race gets dumped, but the numbers haven't really thinned too much. Race tries to get back in, but the refs prevent him. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan comes down the aisle next to a massive pop, easily the most over babyface to show up yet. Duggan and Muraco work on Neidhart but can't get him over. "The Outlaw" Ron Bass is next in, McMahon noting that this match is right up his alley. Volkoff back-body drops Brunzell out of the match and, a half minute later, his partner, B. Brian Blair, enters the match. The crowd chants for the DDT on Danny Davis, who was absolutely despised at this time. Hillbilly Jim comes in next and dumps Neidhart to a big pop. Dino Bravo comes in next with Frenchie Martin in tow. Sam Houston takes a nasty fall to the outside off the shoulders of Bass and we're onto #18 (according to Jesse) - The Ultimate Warrior. What's interesting here is that the Warrior, while certainly popular, was not the huge sensation he would be a month later. Bret Hart is finally eliminated and the One Man Gang shows up, the largest entrant yet. The Gang dumps Blair and then Jake the Snake. The last man is in the Junkyard Dog, who gets some loud cheers. Duggan back-drops Nikolai Volkoff next and then teams up with the Warrior to work on Davis. Meanwhile, Gang dumps Hillbilly Jim and, just like that, I believe he set the record for most eliminations at 3. Duggan takes out "Dangerous" Danny Davis and I believe Duggan may have shattered Gang's record. The Warrior is unceremoniously eliminated, which is kinda weird to see considering that, of everyone in the ring, he'd be the next guy to be elevated to the main event scene (though it would take more than a year). The final four are Bravo, Gang, Duggan, and Muraco, the numbers thinning out quite a bit in just the last 2-3 minutes. Muraco gets some moments to shine, even dropkicking Frenchie Martin. Gang eliminates him with a clothesline and Duggan is now outnumbered by the heels. Duggan takes on both guys, but ends up getting beaten down for a bit. The Gang tries to clothesline Duggan out of the match, but Hacksaw dodges it and Dino gets brought over the top rope instead. Gang beats down on Duggan for a bit and then rears up to charge him out of the ring, but Hacksaw pulls the top rope down and Gang goes over. Not the best finish ever - but, oddly, not the worst either. This isn't a "Must Watch" match, but the crowd clearly enjoyed it and, based on crowd reaction, I'd say that the right man won too. Funner to watch than your average match, but nothing I'd go out of the way to see if you've never seen it before. (3/5)

Hulk Hogan, the WWE Championship around his waist, cuts a promo next. Its not Shakespeare, but its vintage Hogan. 

Main event time? The Islanders (Haku and Tama) vs. The Young Stallions (Paul Roma and Jim Powers) in a 2-out-of-3 Falls Match. At the time, The Islanders were feuding with the British Bulldogs, going after their mascot, Matilda. It is not very often that Haku is the biggest star in a tag team match, but his career went much further in the 90s than anyone else in the ring. Powers and Roma are both ripped, but its the Islanders' speed and tag team prowess that is more impressive. The Islanders get the first fall by countout after Haku pulled the top rope down and Roma spilled to the floor. I'm not sure why this match was even being fought under 2-out-of-3 falls rules, but whatever. They cut to a commercial break and we don't even come back to the match...

Instead, Ted DiBiase, Virgil, and Andre the Giant stand at the podium for an interview. DiBiase explains his plan for the fiftieth time and then we hear from Andre, who claims to still be undefeated despite losing to Hulk at WrestleMania III. Andre's promo desperately needs subtitles as it goes on and the Giant gets louder and more undecipherable.  

After another commercial break, we're back in the ring for the resolution of the tag team match. Paul Roma's knee is now taped up. Haku immediately attacks Roma's leg, but the future Horseman tags in Jim Powers. Meanwhile, on commentary, Ventura goes after organized religion - noting that Jim and Tammy Faye Baker are probably Hulkamaniacs, while "Giant-a-maniacs" would include Abbie Hoffman. Tama comes in and hits Powers with a shapr leaping back elbow - simple but effective - for 2. Haku comes back in as the crowd tries to revive Powers, but he cools them down by applying an abdominal stretch. Haku attempts a front-flip splash, which I'm not sure I've ever seen him do, but Powers rolls away. Haku maintains control, though, leveling Powers with a chop and then nearly decapitating him with a dropkick off the ropes. Powers is able to dodge the bulk of the dropkick and makes the tag to Roma, who then loses the match rather quickly as Tama comes off the top rope with a splash directly onto his leg and then Haku applies a half-crab. I really liked that finish as it felt like the legitimate, correct way that a match like this should end. Today, I feel like they would've milked things for far too long with the "injured" worker somehow persevering multiple strikes and submissions to their damaged limb. This match, as a whole, was nothing special, but that ending was fantastic. (2/5)

To close out the show, Vince and Jesse talk about the show as the fans leave. I was surprised to read that, at least from what I found on Wikipedia, there were no dark matches on this show. 



Royal Rumble 88' is a TV special and not a PPV, which means that one should expect something along the lines of a Clash of the Champions rather than a WrestleMania if you're seeing it for the first time. Even with that expectation, though, I found the card to be a bit lacking. Sure, not getting a Hogan match is understandable and Andre the Giant was, by this point, winding down his career (he still wrestled a remarkable 30+ matches in 88' and 89' combined, but many were in tags), but where was Macho? Where was the Honky Tonk Man? Was the best possible main event really The Islanders vs. The Young Stallions? Why not keep Tito Santana out of the Rumble and have Strike Force (his team with Rick Martel) defend the Tag Team Titles instead? If you're looking for a breezy watch or interested in what the WWE was like 30 years ago, this show might scratch the itch - though I'd sooner recommend WrestleMania IV or SummerSlam 88', which not only feature all the big stars of the era, but some of the most memorable matches and angle of that year. With a Kwang Score of 2.88-out-of-5, but nothing exceptional (aside from arguably the Women's Tag Team Championship match)...

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver