WWE Royal Rumble 2021

WWE Royal Rumble 2021

The Thunderdome, St. Petersburg, FL - January 2021

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, Drew McIntyre is the WWE Champion and Roman Reigns is the Universal Champion. The United States Champion is Bobby Lashley and the Intercontinental Champion is Big E. The SmackDown Tag Team Champions are The New Day, while The Street Profits hold the RAW Tag Team Championships. The Women's Tag Team Champions are Charlotte and Asuka (who is also the RAW Women's Champion), while Sasha Banks holds the SmackDown Women's Championship. 

After a video package hyping tonight's Royal Rumble matches, somewhat surprisingly, the show kicked off with Drew McIntyre defending his WWE Championship against Goldberg. After even more video packages, McIntyre finally made his way to the ring and it was time for our opening contest. McIntyre burst out of the gates with a headbutt and spear before both guys went to the outside. The match had not officially begun at this point, as Goldberg retalliated with a spear through the barricade on the outside. Goldberg waited back in the ring while McIntyre sold the damage. When the bell finally rang, Drew blocked a Spear attempt and then hit a Claymore, but only got 2. Wow. Why? Drew went for another but missed and Goldberg caught him with a Spear! Instead of making the cover, Goldberg hit another! Drew kicked out of 2 spears, though! Goldberg hit the Jackhammer...but again Drew kicked out! Goldberg prepped for another Spear, but McIntyre dodged and connected with a Claymore, this time getting the W. My favorite McIntyre matches have had some interesting back-and-forth and clashes of styles. This match offered none of it. It was a finishers-only affair and, sadly, a predictable one at that, not dissimilar to the awful match that Drew had against Lesnar at last year's WrestleMania. Maybe in front of a live audience this one would've been more suspenseful and the audience might have "bitten" on some of the nearfalls, but in this context, I was unimpressed. I'll award some points for the right man winning, McIntyre's kickouts (which were well-timed), and Goldberg at least not botching any moves. (1.5/5)

Sasha Banks defended the SmackDown Women's Championship against Carmella next. I dug that match at TLC last month so I was excited for this. Banks goes for the Banks Statement early on, but Carmella blocks and rolls to the outside. Carmella's "sommelier," Reggie, gets involved early, serving as a stepladder for a Carmella clothesline on the outside. Back in the ring, Carmella applied a nifty headscissors tarantula-esque maneuver, showing off a bit of submission technique. Mella is an interesting worker to think about as, 15 years ago, she'd arguably be in the top 1% of wrestlers in the division but, in 2021, she's probably not even in the top 10 if you count the NXT roster. Just goes to show how high the bar has been raised in the past 6-7 years.  Reginald got sent back to the lockerroom, but the distraction allowed Carmella to capitalize and hit an INSANE dive through the middle rope that looked like it might've broken her neck! Mella went for a cover, but only got 2. Man, that move just looked absolutely brutal. Banks regained control, but Carmella didn't stay down long, eventually locking in her own Cone of Silence submission. Some good back-and-forth followed including a strong superkick sequence out of Carmella that looked like it might end the match but only got 2.9. Carmella tried to drag her into the ring, but Banks caught her and applied the Banks Statement, tapping out the challenger in a bit of a flat ending. This was good, but not as good as their match the previous month. Still, a strong showing out of Carmella and the right woman won. (2.5/5)

The Women's Royal Rumble was next. Reviewing these things can sometimes be a little bit tough so I'll just note some highlights (and lowlights). Bayley and Naomi started things off with Biance Belair coming in soon after (followed by Billie Kaye). I liked that Belair, Naomi, and Bayley all got some spotlight moments - though Bayley's elimination not being picked up by the cameras and not being a "big spot" bothered me as she was putting on a great performance and her getting tossed by Belair should've been treated like a game-changer in this match. I also really liked the way Billie Kaye was given a bit of a spotlight here too. Her trying to "buddy up" with various entrants before finally finding a friend in Jillian Hall was fun without detracting from the seriousness of the match. Speaking of fun, I'm a bit of an Alicia Fox mark so I didn't her winning the 24/7 Championship in the Women's Royal Rumble - but I wish she'd been allowed to keep the thing. I get that its kind of R-Truth's gimmick, but Fox is great too. Ruby Riott, Rhea Rhipley, Torrie Wilson, and Nikki Cross - who looks to be in the best shape of her career - all came in and delivered the goods. Wilson was the biggest shocker in that regards because she wasn't particularly known for her physicality (but landed a nice suplex at one point). I liked Charlotte's mean streak after seeing her father escort Lacey Evans down the aisle. Blending in but not shining in this match were Shotzi Blackheart, Mickie James, and Mandy Rose. To further her gimmick and heel run, why Carmella was given an opportunity in this match despite losing her title match to Sasha Banks earlier. Naomi had a ridiculous spot where she landed on her back and then used Belair's hair to help her get back in the ring, resulting in a ridiculous exchange on the apron. Lana returned in what would only be a shocking moment if one really, really cared deeply about the midcard of RAW's women's division. What made little sense to me was that they brought Lana back in a position that didn't allow her to immediately go face-to-face against Nia Jax. Alexa Bliss came in at #27 to Bray Wyatt's children's show theme music. After a little bit of dominance, Bliss got beaten down...only to tease a "transformation" before getting dumped out of the ring by Rhea Rhipley. Ember Moon came in next, a reliable hand but not a very exciting entrant only because she was treated like such an afterthought during her last main roster run. Jax came in second-to-last and her and Baszler went to work together, eliminating a number of talents and having an interesting exchange with Tamina before going after each other (with Jax eventually tossing Baszler). I love the poor sportsmanship of Baszler and Jax coming back (after Jax had been eliminated by Lana) into the ring and just destroying people for the sake of it. The final three were Belair, Rhipley, and Charlotte, all three being rather worthy of a win (with Charlotte being the clear favorite). I really liked Flair's elimination - she put in a terrific performance in this match, every bit the star. With the pressure on, Rhipley and Belair delivered a strong final stretch to the match including some dangerous near-eliminations, but there were also a handful of half-speed moves and a bit of a telegraphed ending (with Rhipley noticeably "jumping" to help Bianca deliver the clothesline that sent her over the top). That being said, this is ultra nitpicky stuff and, for the most part, this Rumble absolutely delivered and, at least to me, ended in a deserved feel-good moment. A strong Rumble, but maybe not an all-time classic. (3.5/5)

Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens in a Last Man Standing match followed. This one would not be everyone's cup of tea - I mean, in terms of pure, actual wrestling, there just wasn't much of it - but the big spots worked for me. Kevin Owens nearly getting run over with a golf cart did come across as violent. The various table spots, including Owens doing a somesault senton off a forklift, "popped" me. Unfortunately, what was a pretty good - maybe even borderline "must see" - Last Man Standing match will likely always be remembered for the botched finish, which saw Reigns get handcuffed to the bottom of a stage light and, after brilliantly pulling the ref face-first into the edge of the structure, being unable to break free despite assistance from Paul Heyman. Clearly they had issues with the handcuffs and it was clear as day that the referee had no choice but to "buy time" by simply stopping his count for no apparent reason. It was a glaring gaffe that wasn't helped at all by the immediate finish that came after it as Kevin Owens, who had to oversell the damage he'd suffered despite being in full control moments earlier to explain why he didn't just attack Paul Heyman, got locked into Reigns' guillotine and rendered unconscious. I would've totally bought that finish if the moments that had come before hadn't been so, so painfully botched. Which does call to question - why was this match, which at times felt very "cinematic" and that it may not have been 100% live, not afforded the benefit of being pre-taped like so many of the more complicated matches and segments we've seen over the past year? I'm guessing they assumed they could this pull match off and, for the most part, they absolutely did (though Reigns' fake blood coming from a non-existent cut was also obvious), but the finish will keep this one from ever being worth revisiting or recommending. (2.5/5)

Main event time - the 2021 Men's Royal Rumble! Like I did for the women's edition, I'll just note the highlights and lowlights. Edge and Orton started things off with Sami Zayn coming in 3rd. I enjoyed the interplay between Zayn, Ali, and Orton, especially Orton eventually turning on his "friends" and delivering a series of RKOs. Soon after, Edge attacked Orton's knee with a chair and the Viper was taken out of the match. Lame. I really dislike shenanigans in my Rumbles except when they play into a major storyline. This time around it just felt like a way to "protect" Orton or not force him to work 45 minutes or give us the false finish we eventually got. Just not half as clever as someone probably thought it was in 2021. The big surprises of the match were Christian, Carlito (who looked a Puerto Rican Scott Putski), The Hurricane (who had a nice comedy spot with Big E and Lashley), and the return of Seth Rollins. Speaking of Lashley and Big E, I liked that they both got some moments to shine, as did Braun Strowman, who came in #30. Daniel Bryan was generally "hidden" in the match until the near end, when, while dealing with Matt Riddle, he was unceremoniously eliminated by Rollins. Of any guys on the roster, I think the 2 I would be interested in seeing him work the least at WrestleMania would be Rollins and Riddle for very, very different reasons (one is far too hit-and-miss for my liking and the other seems like the worst kind of "bro"). All through the match, Edge hug in and, to his credit, sold some near-eliminations throughout. The finish was not going to be popular with everyone, but I didn't have a problem with it as much as I kinda wish they had maybe swapped Edge's number with #5 or #6. The way the Rumble is now operated, "going the distance" has just never mattered less when there are shenanigans and 90-second entrances and guys constantly sliding out of the ring by going under the ropes to get a breather or allow for the guys in the ring to prep for a "big spot." Orton eventually did make his way into the ring and seemed to have the match won, but Edge basically just used his momentum against him and ended up tossing him to get the W. Not an all-time great Rumble and I have no problem calling the women's edition the better version on this show, but this was still no worse than average. (2.5/5)

With a Kwang Score of 2.5-out-of-5, Royal Rumble 21' wasn't a homerun or a strikeout. I enjoyed the Women's Royal Rumble match best, but the Banks/Carmella got plenty of praise on the internet and, if you're an Edgehead, you'll likely enjoy the Men's Rumble quite a bit. The Goldberg/McIntyre match was further proof that Goldberg really does not belong anywhere near the title scene and should only be used sparingly to destroy jobbers that can suffer a loss. The Roman Reigns/Owens match will, unfortunately, be remembered most for the botched finish, but I was engaged and entertained by all the "stunts" the match featured so I wasn't extra harsh in my grading. 

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand