The opening contest pitted World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio against The Big Show in a Last Man Standing match, a rematch from an episode of SmackDown with the same stipulation. I've never been big on Del Rio as an in-ring performer and even less so as a character and even lesser than that as a human being, but I'll give him at least a little bit of credit here as he has good chemistry with Big Show and the Phoenix crowd does get behind him for brief spells. Still, the Del Rio babyface run was just so unnatural and its no surprise that, a few months later, the audience would fully turn on him once Dolph Ziggler cashed in his briefcase. They get nearly 20 minutes and the match never really slows down, though things don't really get good until the weapons and tables are introduced. There were some camera tricks to make some of the spots look much rougher than they actually were - the not-so-great table spot off the set, Alberto using a chair to smash Big Show's right arm - but, again, the crowd was undeniably into it and were generally with them the whole time. (3/5)
Next up...Team Hell No defends the World Tag Team Championships against The Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow). 7-8 months later, Daniel Bryan would be the biggest babyface on the roster, but he wasn't quite there yet at this point. This is less of a showcase for Bryan than one would expect, though he still does get a few minutes to shine. Its just so clear that, watching him in AEW right now, he had so, so, so much more that he could have been doing in terms of fresh maneuvers, counters, and actual wrestling especially against a guy like Cody Rhodes, who does have somewhat of a legit wrestling background. Kane and Sandow are basically just along for the ride in this one. I was also surprised that this match didn't really feature any comedy, which was a huge part of what made the Kane/Bryan team work. By this point, they had "hugged it out" so, in some ways, there really wasn't much comedy left for them. Speaking of comedy, in hindsight, Sandow was better as The Miz's stunt double than he was at Cody's BFF. Unremarkable match but not outright bad. (2.5/5)
Reviewing Rumble matches is always hard because unless they are boring from start to finish, there are almost always highlights and, overall, the concept itself is arguably one of the WWE's (read: Pat Patterson's) greatest inventions. The 2013 Royal Rumble match starts off with Dolph Ziggler and, in a big shocker, the return of Chris Jericho, who had been off TV for 3 months. Of course, considering the number of times Jericho had come and gone from the WWE, this probably barely ranks on the all-time list of top Rumble shockers. Still, the Phoenix crowd digs it and, because Ziggler is the guy who sent Y2J packing, it does show some nice attention to detail...Cody Rhodes comes in at #3 and this core of workers would basically stick around for the next 30 minutes as a number of quality competitors - Goldust, Sheamus, Kofi Kingston - came out in between some less exciting figures like 3MB Era Drew McIntyre and David Otunga. The first really cool moment happens with Goldust comes out and goes head-to-head with his brother Cody. I'm not sure if this is their first televised run-in with eachother (I kinda doubt it was), but it gets a huge reaction as Goldust hadn't appeared on WWE TV in well over 2 years. "The Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay and Lord Tensai came in back-to-back so that anyone viewing this years later could be reminded of how shitty some of the WWE's ideas are. Kofi Kingston's annual near-elimination spot was cool and Rey Mysterio got a little bit of shine by hitting the 619 on both Jericho and Ziggler, but this Rumble was missing something. Cena showed up at #19 and the crowd was audibly split on him. Cena was the heavy favorite going into this match, but considering it was a somewhat foregone conclusion that The Rock would be winning later on the show, there really weren't all that many options outside of Cena to win this. I'm no fan of his in general, but this is where having guys like Lesnar and Triple H in the Rumble would've really helped not only in giving this match some star power, but also some suspense as The Rock/Brock or Rock/HHH would've at least been in the realm of possibility for main eventing WrestleMania. Zack Ryder got a decent pop when he came in, as did Randy Orton, but there really wasn't much drama once it whittled down to the final four (Sheamus, Ziggler, Cena, and Ryback). It ended up being Ryback and Cena to close things out, foreshadowing of Cena's next big feud after Mania. Ryback had his fair share of supporters in the crowd, but Cena ended up tossing him out for what I believe was his 2nd (and final) Royal Rumble victory. To me, this Rumble was too predictable and didn't have enough big name stars to stand out and warrant a viewing. (2/5)
After a lengthy video package, The Rock cut a promo before his match against CM Punk for Punk's WWE Championship. It was a weird promo, more heartfelt and preachy than the usual comedic take that maybe The Rock famous. Punk came out first to a mostly negative reaction, as would be expected, before The Rock emerged and got a mega pop. Both guys played their roles perfectly before the bell rang, CM Punk not shrinking in the spotlight at all against arguably the most famous pro-wrestler of all time. The Rock attempted his finish early, but Punk elbowed him into the jaw to escape, the fight then going to the floor. A dueling "Let's Go Rocky/CM Punk" chant erupted as Punk and Rock went back and forth, but it was Punk's enthusiastic backers who tended to drown out the Rock's fan base at times. With help from Heyman, Punk took control and delivered some sharp offense to the People's Champ, eventually applying a body lock on the mat. Considering the size difference, The Rock sold well for Punk, especially his cut-offs and submissions. A tweaked knee and a missed splash from the top led to The Rock gaining control after a lengthy heat segment and we got a great sequence that started with a Rock Bottom attempt and ended up with the Great One locked in the Anaconda Vice. The Rock hit his patented DDT and both men sold for awhile on the mat, the crowd going quiet. The Rock positioned himself for another Rock Bottom, but for the third time, Punk countered it. This time the Rock was able to lock Punk in the Sharpshooter, but Punk wouldn't tap and eventually got hold of the bottom rope. Punk rolled out of the ring and got clobbered with a short-arm clothesline, one of my favorite moves of all time. The Rock cleared off the Spanish announce table and the two ended up duking it out on top of it, Punk signaling for the GTS but ending up in the Rock Bottom before the table gave way and both men ended up on the floor. The crowd (and combatants) were clearly disappointed in the spot, but The Rock ended up making up for it by hitting Punk with the Rock Bottom on the arena floor. The Rock rolled Punk back into the ring, but too much time had passed so CM Punk kicked out (predictably). A good exchange of strikes followed, The Rock eventually hitting a flying clothesline and the spinebuster to lead up to the People's Elbow. Before the Rock could drop it, though, the lights went out and *surprise surprise* The Shield arrived and, according to Michael Cole, triple powerbombed The Rock through the announce table (though, because it was dark, its unclear and unlikely this actually happened). Wow. Talk about ridiculous bullshit. Because he's an arrogant heel, CM Punk didn't just take the 10-count, he rolled The Rock back into the ring and went for the cover and, in a legit shocker, got the W. Punk then booted The Rock out of the ring, celebrating his victory with Paul Heyman as the audience watched in total disbelief. Of course, this wasn't where the match ended, though, as Vince McMahon emerged and announced he was going to strip Punk of the title - only for The Rock to demand that the match be re-started. Punk stomped The Rock in the corner and then rocked him with a big running knee in the corner. Punk went for the top rope elbow drop and connected but only got 2. Punk went for the GTS, but it got countered and The Rock nailed a spinebuster and then a People's Elbow to get the clean win and send the crowd home happy. This match had some really good sequences and both Punk and The Rock brought their respective "A games." Considering the differences in style, they had good chemistry too. Unfortunately, this was just overbooked, the non-run-in by the Shield was ludicrous, and the biggest spot of the match (The Rock Bottom on the announce table) was botched. (3/5)
With a Kwang Score of 2.63-out-of-5, one's enjoyment of Royal Rumble 2013 would likely come down to how big a fan of this particular slice of WWE history you are. If you were a fan of the year-long rematch build for WrestleMania 29 and the roster that the WWE was built around that year, this show will give you everything and everybody you might want to see - excluding The Shield, Triple H, and Brock Lesnar, whose presence in the Rumble was much needed. Time has not been kind to guys like Ryback, Damien Sandow, or even Dolph Ziggler. While all three, and others, get featured at various points on the show, the fact that none became true main eventers makes their prominence here less important in hindsight. What may have counted as "star power" in 2013 doesn't hold water on re-watch 8 years later and makes this show uneven and hard to recommend.
FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver
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