Some have called WrestleMania XI the worst Mania ever and a quick look at the card is really all you need to see to understand why. Of course, WrestleMania IX has a similar reputation but, while that show didn't feature a single "must see" match, there were some entertaining angles that played out on the show and some good performances out of Bret Hart, Mr. Perfect, and Doink (Matt Borne), as well as a Headshrinkers/Steiner Brothers that, if you squint, really does resemble the type of hard-hitting action these teams delivered in the NWA/WCW years prior. Of course, WrestleMania IX also features one of Hulk Hogan's most notorious and hated moments of spotlight-hogging and an abysmal Giant Gonzalez/Undertaker match.
WrestleMania XI opens with Lex Luger and The British Bulldog taking on The Blu Brothers (aka the Harris Twins with long hair). The purpose of this match was to kickstart the show with a pair of beloved babyfaces wrestling a standard tag match against a pair of unlikable heels...but this just feels like a match you'd see on an average episode of Raw from around this time and is definitely a waste of star power. This match goes just under 7 minutes but feels longer because its tedious. The most notable moment of the match might be how little is made of Luger hitting one of the Blu Brothers with his flying forearm, which, a year or so prior, was treated like a gunshot finisher and was the basis of a major storyline. The fact that Luger doesn't get the pin either really makes it clear how little Vince saw in him at this point. How could anyone ever blame for Lex for leaving the company when he had gone from a SummerSlam and WrestleMania main eventer to jerking the curtain in a meaningless tag match? (1.5/5)
Next up - Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon for Jarrett's Intercontinental Championship. After years of watching wrestling and offering critiques of thousands of matches, I'm just gonna say it: Scott Hall's overness and ability was about 90% charisma and 10% in-ring talent. The guy was undeniably cool and, paired against the right opponent, could put on a good match...but paired against an average worker or even a slightly-above average worker like Jeff Jarrett, well, more often than not you get a dull, slow contest. This is that. People would likely call this "good for 95'," but look over at some of the matches WCW was offering around this time or ECW and this pales in comparison to what guys like Austin, Johnny B. Badd, Pillman, and Regal were doing around that same time (let alone what Flair and Savage were offering in the main event). Its not that they don't work hard, its more that nothing they do seems fresh or even truly heated. Is it possible that Ramon was sour that he wasn't going over for the belt? Is it that Jarrett's style never really did click in the WWE? Whatever the case, the result is the same: a forgettable, average match with glimmers of goodness that are almost immediately forgotten with the deflating finish. (2.5/5)
We head backstage next for a continuation of the "Where's Pamela Anderson?" story that runs through the whole evening. At the time, Anderson was the super duper popular star of Baywatch and had not yet had her sex tape stolen and distributed. Jenny McCarthy is also there but is basically playing second fiddle to Anderson, which was maybe a recurring theme of her career in the 90s? Jonathan Taylor Thomas is also there, Nick Turturro is serving as a backstage interview...really, this whole scene is about as dated as any WrestleMania ever and that includes the one where Snooki wrestled.
Back in the ring, The Undertaker takes on King Kong Bundy. The storyline going into this match is just a continuation of the Deadman's feud with the Million Dollar Man, who had stolen the urn. As expected, this match is a plodding, boring affair and doesn't last long. It would be a few more years before the Undertaker would start getting paired up with guys like Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart and Mick Foley who could actually work good 10+ minute matches with him. During the match, Undertaker regains the urn and then unwisely gives to Paul Bearer (who gets it stolen from him by Kama, who gets on the mic and says he's going to melt it down into a chain, which is what he'd do to build up his own forgettable, meaningless match with Undertaker at SummerSlam if I'm not mistaken). Undertaker doesn't hit the Tombstone because Bundy was too big so he wins with a clothesline in under 7 minutes. The Undertaker has had quite a few duds in his WrestleMania career but this is rightfully considered maybe the worst of them all. (0.5/5)
The next match was built up around Owen Hart having a "mystery tag team partner." I'm not sure if there was hype that it would be Jim Neidhart or somebody else, but in hindsight, it makes 100% sense that Yokozuna would end up getting that spot as he was clearly on his way down the card and definitely not in peak physical shape but still credible enough to be used prominently in a limited role. Plus, with Owen and Cornette as mouthpieces, Yoko would be and was really protected. Their opponents are the WWF World Tag Team Champions, the Smoking Gunns, who would somewhat surprisingly hang on in the company as a team for years and years to come, all the way into 1996. Granted, that may not seem like a long time, but considering they debuted in 93' and how one-dimensional the gimmick was, its impressive they made it 3+ years (while teams like the Road Warriors and Nasty Boys would rarely stick around in one company for that long). Anyway, not much to say about this match beyond that it's all about building up Yokozuna as a monster who, with Owen and Cornette at his side, is now basically unstoppable in the tag division. Owen is obviously the most impressive in-ring worker in this match and looks like he's having fun in there with Yoko as his partner. In the time since Owen's tragic death, there's always been lots of talk about how he "deserved better" or should have been a World Champion due to his talent, but part of his talent was that he was also irreplaceable as the glue that could hold together just about any match and be slotted in to make others look good. Here he has clearly been positioned to do the heavy lifting and while that may not have come with the glamour (or paycheck) of being a serious top singles heel, its important to recognize how integral he was on this roster in the mid-90s and, aside from his brother and Shawn Michaels, might have been a company MVP. A passable match but nothing to go out of your way to see. (1.5/5)
Speaking of Bret Hart, it's time for his match against Bob Backlund, an "I Quit" Match no less. Supposedly this was the first of its kind in the WWE, though there have been multiple "I Quit" matches in the NWA before this and most of them were far more brutal and violent than this one - which is more like a submission match. In his book, Bret called this one of the worst matches of his career and considering he's an expert on he subject, he's probably right. That being said, I'd ease up on myself if I were him. Was this as good as their match at Survivor Series? No...but compared to some of the "action" that the WWE was putting on at this time, this was still decent. Roddy Piper is annoying and unnecessary as the referee (I'm not sure what role Piper could've and should've played on this show because he doesn't fit in anywhere, but this wasn't it), but the actual layout of the match and some of the sequences are good if a bit pedestrian. The match doesn't overstay its welcome either, which would've made it way worse. (2.5/5)
The WWE Champion Diesel defends the title against Shawn Michaels next. This match had a months-long build based on Diesel and Shawn's partnership over much of 94' and then Michaels getting jealous of the big man once he became champion in November/December of that year. Michaels had taken on Sid as his new bodyguard and their on-again/off-again relationship would come to a head years later at Survivor Series 96'. While this isn't as good as the match they'd have roughly a year later at In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies, it is still the clear match of the night by a wide margin and an excellent showcase match for Michaels, who bumps like a pinball for Diesel throughout the contest. It has been written and said by Bret and others that Shawn "goes into business for himself" a little here by trying to upstage Nash and make the match all about himself but its hard to blame or shame Michaels for what was clearly his biggest opportunity to put himself into the main event. While Michaels had fought for the WWE Championship before - at Survivor Series 92' - he had spent the next few years in the Intercontinental Title scene while guys like Bob Backlund, Jerry Lawler, and Yokozuna, who Shawn rightfully believed he could outwork at that time, were booked at a level above him. Here, Michaels does everything he can to make this the Match of the Night and he succeeds to the point that, by the end, even some of the crowd is clearly behind him (though I wonder if that's also because there are just some outwardly "heel" fans that can heard throughout the show, including in the main event). I wouldn't call this a "must see" match, but its pretty close. (3.5/5)
Main event time - Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow in a match that resembles a lumberjack bout due to the involvement of various NFL stars and Ted Dibiase's Million Dollar Corporation. Pat Patterson is the referee, which makes total sense considering LT's lack of experience. Speaking of LT, he starts the match by clotheslining Bigelow out of the ring and follows it up with a decent bulldog and then a series of stiff forearms and a hiptoss. After the two sides nearly come to blows on the outside, Bigelow takes control in the ring. LT is a surprisingly decent seller, though this match comes to a grinding halt once Bigelow applies a boston crab and then a leglock. I'm guessing they felt like having a main event run under 10 minutes would've been disappointing, but in this era, you couldn't stretch things with table spots and multiple run-ins like they would today. LT eventually hits a big back suplex but Bigelow cuts him off again with a double axehandle and then some headbutts and a leg drop. Bigelow goes to the top rope and lands his signature twisting splash but lands incorrectly on his knee, preventing him from making the cover. Back up to their feet they go and LT hits a miserable looking half-piledriver-type-move for 2. Bigelow hits a spinning heel kick and is essentially burying his own offense here as he can't put away LT despite connecting with some of his best offense, including a headbutt off the top rope. After hitting the headbutt, Bigelow gets 2 and there's an audible boo from the kickout as I'm guessing there were at least a few fans who thought this main event was an embarassment. LT hits a series of big forearms and finishes Bigelow off with one from the second rope to get the W. This match started out alright but then devolved and made Bigelow look too weak by the end. Considering the legal trouble that Taylor would find himself in over the next few years (even up to the morning that I'm writing this review as LT was just nabbed for not registering as a sex offender), this main event has not aged well. (1.5/5)
There have been worse WWE pay-per-views over the years, but is there any worse WrestleMania? I'm not sure there is (though the first two Manias aren't exactly full of great matches). With a low Kwang Score of 1.92-out-of-5, WrestleMania XI is the lowest rated WrestleMania I've reviewed and while WrestleMania XX scored a lousy 1.96, at least that show offered a strong main event, a "train wreck" moments in the Brock Lesnar/Goldberg match, and felt star-studded with Foley, The Rock, Jericho, and Flair all around, plus a good atmosphere in Madison Square Garden. The WWE's roster at this point was paper thin, this show taking place in Hartford makes it feel lesser than any other Mania I can recall, and while Shawn/Diesel is a strong title match, nothing else on this card is remotely "must see."
FINAL RATING - DUDleyville
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