CM Punk defends his ECW Championship against Elijah Burke in our opening contest. Memphis is fairly solidly behind Punk, though he was still relatively unknown to much of the WWE audience and certainly not nearly as popular as he'd become. In the last of match of theirs I reviewed, I noted that Punk and Elijah were paired up together for awhile and that, years later, Punk said that Burke was his worst opponent ever. Be that as it may, Punk and Burke had decent enough chemistry when they were on the same page and this is a better match than the one they'd had at Judgment Day a few months earlier, but I'm still going to go in the "average" range for points. Unlike that Judgment Day match, which went close to 20 minutes, they only get 12 here so they maximize their time and don't get overly fancy. This is just a hard-hitting, competitive match and that's all it needed to be. I wouldn't liked a more definitive finish. (2.5/5)
The "odd couple" of MVP and Matt Hardy defend the WWE Tag Team Championships against Deuce and Domino next. This match is starts out fun, with Hardy and MVP really playing up their rivalry (which was one of the Blue Brand's centerpiece storylines at this point), and then gets dull thanks to Deuce and Domino's control segment, but picks back up a little as they build towards the finish and put the attention back on the champs' one-upmanship. At under 10 minutes it really has no time to drag but Deuce and Domino certainly don't shine here either and its always shocking to hear that they actually lasted close to a full year in the company after their initial run and championship reign. Nothing worth checking out, but not terrible. (2.5/5)
Triple H took on Carlito in a match where Carlito was allowed to use any weapon he wanted and Triple H was not. So guess who won? This was part of Triple H's big comeback series (he had quite a few of those during his career) leading to him getting back into both RAW and SmackDown's World Title scenes by the end of the year. Carlito is an interesting victim as he was a much hotter character a couple years before this but also could have potentially been heated back up if he'd been made to look at all credible. Instead, even with the advantage of getting to use whatever he wanted as a weapon, Carlito is made to look impotent by losing this match cleanly in about 10 minutes, Triple H barely showing any signs of fear or vulnerability. This wasn't a total squash, but the stipulation was completely unnecessary. (1.5/5)
Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix for the WWE Women's Title followed. The story coming into this match was that Phoenix was the dominant heel and was on an absolute tear through the roster and Michelle, despite being the champion, was the underdog. The match barely lasts 8 minutes and those minutes see Phoenix completely overwhelm her opponent until the last 3 seconds when Michelle wins with a roll-up out of nowhere. Phoenix would win the title a month later, so this was basically done just to extend their feud another month (they fought at SummerSlam 2007 too). Not a bad 8 minutes, but felt very much like a "throwaway" bout. (1/5)
The World Heavyweight Champion The Great Khali defended his title against Rey Mysterio and Batista in a triple threat next. Like the previous match, this one went about 8 minutes, but it was a more dramatic and more interesting 8 minutes in front of an audience that was much more invested. I like how this match was laid out - Batista and Rey teaming up to take out Khali early and keeping the pressure on him, Khali getting in a bit of offense to show that he's not just going to lie down, and then Rey Mysterio eventually hitting some of his signature moves before Batista essentially "steals" the match by hitting Rey with a Batista Bomb onto Khali and then tossing him aside so he can deliver a spinebuster onto Khali for the win. There's no wasted time, no over-booking, no unnecessary misdirects. Batista comes out looking strong (as he needed to and should've been), Mysterio was there to provide the needed movement and excitement that Khali couldn't, and The Great Khali was pretty much sent down to the upper midcard/midcard for the rest of his WWE run, Vince McMahon having used up all his credibility by this point. Not a match I would go out of my way to see, even if you're the biggest Batista fan, but effective and efficient. (2.5/5)
The World Tag Team Champions, Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, competed next. Their challengers - Paul London and Brian Kendrick, a team I could've sworn had a name but that the WWE rarely promoted (I looked it up: they wanted to be called The Hooliganz). The crowd is cold for this as neither team was very memorable or engaging (and I say this as someone who really liked Kendrick at various other times in his career before I heard he either was a Holocaust denier or at least believed that Holocaust denial would be an interesting gimmick). This match had some good stretches - basically when the Hooliganz are getting their "shit" in - and some boring stretches (anytime Lance Cade is in control). I would've liked to see the Hooliganz win this as Cade and Murdoch, despite a lengthy run in the company, never got over and London and Kendrick at least brought the potential of some cool spots and energy to their matches. This was nothing special and felt like a TV match at best, essentially used as filler to cool off the crowd between the two World Championship matches. (1.5/5)
John Cena vs. Randy Orton for Cena's WWE Championship was next, these two having feuded quite extensively in the months before this match. Cena is in "super serious" mode as Orton had punted his father on RAW a couple weeks (maybe just one week?) before the event. Cena goes right after him with big rights and lefts, which makes a ton more sense than this match starting with a lock-up. Unfortunately, instead of keeping the pressure on, Cena backs off and the match swiftly becomes much less of a wild brawl than it probably could've/should've been. To the outside they go and Cena puts his shoe across Orton's neck in a cool visual. Back in the ring, Cena attempts an STF but Orton slips away only to end up staggering on the floor. Cena tosses him back in the ring but Orton cuts him off with an uppercut as he re-enters the ring. Orton gets some offense in but Cena regains control. Orton is able to gain the upperhand and applies a headlock. Cena and Orton work the hold completely with Cena eventually using his strength to escape it. Cena rallies again, beating Orton down in the corner and sending the ref back until the referee has no choice but to award the match to Orton by DQ. Wow. The match only lasted 8 minutes and while I like Cena's urgency, that had to have been a letdown for the fans in attendance. After the match, Orton goes to punt Cena Sr. but Cena makes the save and applies an STF on the floor, allowing his father to deliver a punt of his own. For what this was, it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't what I'd call a good match. (2.5/5)Main event time - The Undertaker returning to the WWE to take on Mark Henry, who had put him out of action a couple months before this. The Undertaker gets a grand entrance as this is more about spectacle than action. Taker strikes first, bringing the big right hands to Henry and working him into the corner. Cue the "best pure striker in the business" line. Taker hits a Stinger Splash but gets caught on the second one, brought into the corner by the pre-Hall of Pain Henry. Having watched several of Taker's matches in the 90s over the past few years, I'll give some credit to Henry here as he brings more energy and has a more impressive power game than some of the other giants that Taker used to slay. For example, Henry hits a superplex early, a move that a guy like Kama or Yoko would've never done in 95'. Of course, wrestling's changed since 95' but...Anyway, Taker rallies soon after but Henry doesn't cuts him off and whips him to the ropes. Taker goes for an improbable back body drop, but Henry stops short and kicks him in the chest. Taker clotheslines over the top and they brawl around the ring for a bit. Again, this may seem unspectacular - and it is - but the crowd is into it enough and we're not getting bearhugs or a complete squash. Henry rams Taker back-first into the apron and then sends him back into the ring for more punishment and a 2 count after a clothesline. Henry hits a splash in the center of the ring but only gets 2. He hits another but again only gets 2. Henry gets frustrated and tries for a third but Taker rolls out of harm's way. Taker staggers to his feet and the two behemoths trade blows. Taker wins the fight and tries to come off the ropes with a clothesline but Henry catches him and delivers an awkward Rock Bottom-esque move. It looked ugly but I like when a move doesn't look perfect and really seems to come from some struggle. This ain't ballet after all. Henry hits a scoop slam and then another splash. I'll go ahead a say it - this has exceeded my expectations and has been much more hard-hitting than I expected, with Henry getting in enough offense to make it work as something more than just the expected squash. Taker fights back and hits a series of big clotheslines in the corner before going into his signature stuff - the Old School, a chokeslam that looked way, way better than it really had any right to, and then, after a brief bearhug spot (I knew we couldn't go the whole match without one), a Last Ride when Mark Henry inexplicably positioned himself in the corner for one. Not a match that will change your life, but more action than I expected when it started with Henry really shining too. (3/5)
With a Kwang Score of 2.13-out-of-5, Unforgiven 2007 has a surprisingly better score than I would think it actually deserves. There's only one better-than-average match on the show and its far from "must see" while the biggest stars - Cena, Orton, Batista, Rey - all do solid but middle-of-the-road work. The opener between Punk and Burke is better than the match they'd had at Judgment Day but still wouldn't make a list of the top 50 or probably even 100 CM Punk matches ever.
FINAL RATING - DUDleyville
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