Eddie Guerrero vs. Luther Reigns (with Mark Jindrak) is our opening contest. Not a great match, but decent enough considering Reigns' talent level. I wouldn't necessarily call this a "carry job," though Eddie being able to keep the crowd engaged is impressive. He was just so over at this point that I think they could've put him in the ring with anyone and the crowd would've been into it. I didn't like Eddie hitting 2-out-of-3 of the Tres Amigos as it really didn't protect Reigns' aura as a monster, especially late in the match when Eddie would've theoretically been pretty tired. Seemed like a "Get My Shit In" moment rather than something that made sense in the context of the story. I liked Eddie's chicanery, but the use of the nightstick (or whatever its called) wasn't captured great by the cameras and I don't think the live audience got a real good look at it either. For what this was, it wasn't terrible. (2.5/5)
After a very "WWE in 2004" segment backstage where Jackie Gayda is covering her bare breasts with her hands, we get Spike Dudley defending the Cruiserweight Championship against Nunzio. This was fine. Watching Dudley work as a heel was an interesting change-of-dynamic, but this - like the opener - felt like a TV match more than one that needed to be on a pay-per-view. Neither of these guys was really known for their high-flying, but Nunzio was always a great shooter and I liked that he got to show off some of his skills here. I liked the finish too, which saw Nunzio get pulled crotch-first into the post by Bubba Ray when the ref was busy attending to Johnny Stamboli and D-Von brawling on the outside. Passable. (2/5)
Then it was time for one of the weirder matches of the night - Billy Kidman vs. Paul London. The story here was that the former tag team champions had split because Kidman had injured Chavo Guerrero with his Shooting Star Press and now was afraid to use the move, costing him and London the titles. Kidman was then told by Commissioner Teddy Long that he had to use the move because it what was the people wanted and, if he didn't, he'd be fired. Kidman attacked London, which made him the heel, and he blamed the fans for their "blood lust" and desire to see people get hurt. This storyline probably would've worked better if we hadn't seen the Shooting Star Press used countless times before and it were a new move that Kidman had used to injure his opponents. Anyway, the match itself starts out really hot and I liked Paul London's selling, but it also dragged a bit when Kidman controlled with some abdominal stretches. Dave Meltzer gave this close to 4-stars which tells me that this match probably stood out as much better back in the day, but 20 years later, it doesn't feel anywhere close to "must see." Eventually, Kidman has the opportunity to hit the Press, decides against it, London attempts one, Kidman gets his knees up, and then Kidman delivers one to end the match. After the match, Kidman cuts another promo and then hits a second Shooting Star Press while London is on a stretcher in the ring. Interesting story and certainly a good way to build to another match, but really no better than average. The crowd, which was hot all night, definitely helped things too. (2.5/5)
Next up - the World Tag Team Champions, Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree defended their titles against the makeshift team of Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam. Suzuki was the weak link of this sub-10 minute match. I actually thought Dupree was quite impressive here and had particularly good chemistry with Van Dam early on, plus I loved his multiple late saves. As I wasn't anything close to a weekly viewer around this time, I can't really understand where things went wrong with Dupree. He very much seems like a guy who should've had a better run, even considering he was a multi-time tag champion. Anyway, Mysterio and Van Dam are a fine pairing and are definitely leading their less-experienced opponents through the proceedings. Not terrible, but nothing work seeking out. (2.5/5)
Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show was next. I'd have to look it up, but I don't recall these two having an extended program prior to this one, but I'm guessing they had at least a few matches over the years before this. Big Show was in the midst of a "big return leading to a strong push leading to the midcard again" cycle. During the build-up, Kurt Angle had shot him with a tranquilizer dart and shaved his head, which did give this match a ton of heat. I'm not as high on Angle as others and certainly don't consider him a top 10 worker of all time, but he was really good in this. Angle tries to escape the match early by taking a count-out loss, but Teddy Long threatens to fire him unless he agrees to return to the ring. Classic 'rasslin' stuff there. I liked how Angle focused on Show's knee and even used a chair at one point as it showed how desperate he was against an opponent the size of Big Show. It might be simple storytelling, but it was effective and the crowd got behind Big Show. Big Show ends up winning after a reverse powerbomb (a move that I don't think he was doing before this return) and a huge chokeslam from the top rope. One of the better Big Show matches I can recall offhand. (3/5)
The United States Championship was up next in the finals of a Best of Five series between the champion Booker T and John Cena. Booker T controlled most of this rather strange match. I thought they brought a ton of energy to it, especially in the opening minutes, and the physicality was absolutely there. Unfortunately, the abrupt ending led to this match not delivering on the promise of its opening minutes. I'm guessing Vince still wasn't super confident in Cena being able to "go" longer than 10 minutes, but this match ending so quickly made it clear that he was being "protected" so it didn't help him gain any credibility anyway. A disappointment. (2/5)
The Dudley Boys and Dawn Marie vs. Rico, Charlie Haas, and Jackie Gayda was next. This is not my cup of tea and it wouldn't have been my cup of tea in 2004 or 1994 even. Too cheap. At one point, Bubba Ray Dudley gets kissed by Rico and he sells it like Elmer Fudd after he discovers he's been kissed by Bugs Bunny. Its not the homophobia that I don't like really - its just, again, how cheap and low brow this sort of things is. The same can be said about Tazz and Cole's commentary, which is heavy on "jokes" about wanting to see Gayda and Marie "go at it." Charlie Haas looks good in the ring, but was about as bland as a plate of white bread with no butter. The crowd not demanding tables within the first 5 minutes and actually not chanting for them till a little later on is a credit to how action-packed they made this. Not as terrible as it may seem. (2/5)
Main event time - JBL defending the WWE Championship against The Undertaker in a "Last Ride" match where you can only win by putting your opponent in the back of a hearse. I wasn't expecting much out of this match, but I must say - it absolutely delivers and is one of the best matches of JBL's career and maybe even a sneaky Top 20 match for the Deadman. Undertaker isn't known for a big arsenal of moves, but he shows off nearly everything here. JBL takes two tremendous bumps - one on the floor and one through a table - and bleeds a gusher too. I can certainly understand why people are disappointed with the truly atrocious finish (Heidenreich coming in to screw Taker), but I'm still willing to call this a great match because as bad as the ending is, you also do get to see a crazy stunt at the end when Heidenreich - under the guidance of Paul Heyman - crashes his truck into the hearse backstage. Its bonkers. (4/5)
With a surprisingly strong main event thanks to the hard work of The Undertaker and JBL and the dependable veterans - Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, and Rob Van Dam - putting in the effort to carry some of the company's must unmemorable and unremarkable talents (Luther Reigns and Kenzo Suzuki) as well as a very smartly-worked Kurt Angle/Big Show match, No Mercy 2004 manages to make for a decent watch. The Kidman/London match has fans on the internet the Dudley Boys match isn't as bad as it may seem on paper.
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote In Hand
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