WWE The Bash 2009

WWE: The Bash 2009

June 2009 - Sacramento, California

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, CM Punk was the World Heavyweight Champion, Randy Orton was the WWE Champion, the Colons held the Unified Tag Team Championships, and the United States Championship was held by Kofi Kingston. The Intercontinental Champion was Chris Jericho, Tommy Dreamer was the ECW Champion, Melina was the Women's Champion, and the Divas Champion was Maryse. 

The title of this show was a shortened version of The Great American Bash, NWA/WCW's long-running pay-per-view (and, prior to that, multi-date tour featuring wrestling matches and country music acts). This was the last Bash to appear on PPV, though the WWE did revisit it as a special edition of SmackDown in 2012 according to Wikipedia. 

The show kicks off with a Scramble Match for the ECW Championship. The Scramble Match, as a concept, had been the focal point of the Unforgiven 2008 show - a show that I got to attend with my buddies Adam, Tim, and Cy (shoutout) - here in Cleveland, Ohio. Anyway, Christian and Jack Swagger started the match off and, from there, were joined by Finlay, Tommy Dreamer, and Mark Henry, who had not yet entered his Hall of Pain run but was getting there. While I wouldn't call this match a revelation or anything, it was solid - which could be expected with the amount of talent and experience in the ring, Finlay and Christian specifically working as the glue to hold most every multi-man spot or sequence together. Unlike the Scramble matches I (only vaguely) remember from a year prior, this one was not heavy on pinfalls and title changes, which made sense and kept things believable - for example, Mark Henry quickly got a pinfall (and the title), but ended up getting pinned himself by Swagger when he got too ambitious and attempted an unnecessary splash from the top rope rather than just taking a random pinfall from one of his smaller opponent's finishers. Again, nothing really special here, but not at all bad. (2.5/5)

Next on the card was Rey Mysterio Jr. putting his mask on the line against the Intercontinental Champion, Chris Jericho, for Y2J's title. This one started off a bit slow and bland to me, but it simmers to a boil, heating up in its third act and really delivering the goods. Dave Meltzer gave this 4.5 stars in 2009, but I wouldn't go that  high on it. The chemistry is there and, by the end, we do get some innovative twists and turns (especially the clever double-mask finish), but I didn't find myself truly captivated until that last 5-6 minutes, with the first half of the match not delivering anything I found to be as thrilling. In some ways, because these two had so many matches in the years leading up to this, my view was tainted by the fact that it wasn't exactly a "fresh" match to me - remember, these two had wrestled on PPV and Nitro quite a bit 10 years earlier and proceeded to have random TV matches throughout the 00s - nor was the Mask vs. Title stipulation particularly intriguing as the outcome was easy to predict. Still, calling this any short of great is cutting it short, even if I don't think its an all-time Top 10 WWE Match, which is praise that I have seen heaped onto it elsewhere. I've even seen it called Jericho's best match and Rey's best WWE match - which also seems a bit hyperbolic when you consider both guys' resumes. Regardless, this one borders between "should-watch" and "must-watch," especially if you're a fan of either of these two. (4/5)

Dolph Ziggler has his first singles match on pay-per-view next - taking on The Great Khali, who he had stolen some victories over on SmackDown in the build-up to this show. Ziggler had been around the WWE for a couple years by this point, first as Chavo Guerrero's caddy and then as a member of the Spirit Squad. His series against Khali qualified as his first real "push" and watching the pre-match video and the match itself it does seem like Ziggler had the potential to be a big deal (corny ring name aside). Over the past 10 years, though, Ziggler's career has been a series of ups-and-downs separated by vast stretches of him just being there, usually in the midcard and usually making false promises about becoming the "top guy" he has never actually become. But enough about Ziggler, let's talk about this match - which is exactly what one would expect: a showcase for Ziggler's pinball bumping and selling, but also his heel tactics and cunning. With the match being No DQ, Ziggler tries to gain the upperhand with a chair, but even this is not enough to overcome Khali's size and power advantage. The finish comes when Kane shows up and inexplicably attacks Khali, giving Ziggler the easy pinfall victory. I don't recall where this storyline all leaded - I'm guessing a Khali/Kane showdown at the next PPV - but for what this was, it wasn't too terrible and established Ziggler as an opportunistic heel in under 5 minutes. (2/5)

The Colons were set to defend their Unified Tag Team Championships against Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes of The Legacy in the next match, but after being berated by Vince McMahon backstage for being a do-nothing GM, Teddy Long added Edge and Chris Jericho to the mix. This was some smart booking as this match, as is, really seemed to lack star power and probably would've been met with mostly crickets. The crowd chants for Christian at various points, which would've been undeniably cool but also would've essentially turned Edge babyface as there's no way the crowd wouldn't have been 100% behind the reunited E&C. The story of the match is more interesting that it probably has any right to be as the Colons and Legacy basically wrestle the first 8 minutes (of a 10-minute match) among themselves, neither team too eager to tag in the two former World Champions that are almost salivating to get into the ring and win the titles. The commentary on this show isn't too great - JR has zero chemistry with Todd Grisham (another reason the Mysterio/Jericho match is just slightly short of a full masterpiece in my eyes) - but here, they do a good job of making it clear that it will be game over for the Colons and Legacy if Edge or Jericho get a tag. When it finally does happen, the pop for the new champions is massive and feels like a big deal, instantly adding some credibility to the Unified Tag Team Championships (which were, for the next 9 months or so, treated like main event-level titles). (2.5/5)

Michelle McCool, accompanied by Alicia Fox, challenged Melina for the WWE Womens Championship in the next contest. This era of women's wrestling - from roughly 2006 through to 2014 - is completely ignored and forgotten by most fans as it was a real mixed bag. On one hand, you had Trish Stratus and Mickie James nearly stealing the show at WrestleMania 22 and, not too long later, Beth Pheonix could be relied upon to carry just about anyone on the roster to something passable. Michelle McCool's eventual team-up with Layla was entertaining. The drop-off from these talents was vast too as various talents who were far better suited to just be valets - Maryse, Maria, and the very green Bella Twins and Alicia Fox - were all put in the spotlight and, in many instances, just didn't have the skill or experience to win over crowds that were accustom to seeing women's wrestling as a joke. This match is not as good as most of the women's matches the WWE produces today - which is a great thing - but it is also not nearly as bad or botch-filled as one might expect. Melina and McCool's movesets aren't as sharp, innovative, impactful, or technically-sound as we routinely see from Asuka or Charlotte today and there still seems to be a clear expectation that they sprinkle their entrances and character work with not-so-subtle sexual overtones (see Melina's trademark split is the easiest example to spot) that, say, Becky Lynch and Bayley and Sasha Banks haven't had to or haven't felt forced to utilize but nothing feels overly choreographed either. McCool and Melina are selling the action well throughout. There is a genuine feel of competition and physicality and athleticism. There are actual submission holds. They don't get many minutes, but they make things count and there's a beginning, middle, and end to the match. This isn't a forgotten gem or anything, but its also not as embarrassing to watch as what the company was promoting and producing 5 years earlier, when it seemed most of the action was built around bras, panties, and bikinis. (2.5/5)

CM Punk defends his World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy next. This is one of the best feuds of the 00s and really put Punk on the map as a potential top guy. The story here is that Hardy had (finally) gotten his big World Championship victory at the previous show, Extreme Rules, by defeating Edge in a ladder match, but only got to hold the title for a minute because Punk cashed in his briefcase immediately after. Punk didn't turn fully heel, though, as he explained his actions as being fair play and, famously, that "nowhere in the contract does it say I can't cash in on Jeff Hardy." Still, it was clear that Punk was leaning heel and Hardy was the sympathetic figure - two roles that both are so good at playing that the only question was whether they'd have any chemistry in the ring. This match answered that question in the affirmative as Punk tries to keep things grounded and technical and Hardy tried to use his unorthodox offense to hit game-changer moves like the Air Hardy and the Whisper in the Wind. The character interplay in this match effects nearly every sequence as Punk does everything short of outright cheating to try to get the victory, including, at one point, pleading for the ref to pick up his count to disqualify Hardy outside of the ring. There are a bunch of clever finisher escapes and counters and a Dusty Finish when Hardy hits his Swanton, makes the cover, and gets a 3 count...until the referee reverses the decision because Punk's foot is under the bottom rope (which, in my view, it barely was). The match restarts and Punk fakes an injury, hobbling over to the corner to get a breather. As the referee checks on him and holds off Hardy, Punk wallops him with a stiff kick to the back to get himself disqualified...or was it an unintentional strike caused by blindness? Rating a match like this is difficult because the finish, by design, is meant to take the air out of a building. It was almost meant to turn the tide completely against Punk, who actually had his fair share of supporters in Sacramento. It effectively does both, but also means that, after viewing, you're left with the feeling that you've been ripped off. As that is the intention, the match is basically perfect - perfectly disappointing in that way. I'd still consider this, like Jericho/Mysterio, a match bordering between "should watch" and "must watch." (4/5)

Main event time - well, not really. Instead, it's John Cena vs. The Miz in a match that Cena promoted as being a "main event" because he's in it. He wasn't necessarily wrong about that, but whatever...The build for this match was based on The Miz coming out on Raw and challenging Cena for three weeks straight knowing full well that Cena was unable to respond to his challenge and then claiming victory by count-out. It was basically the exact same thing that Jericho did on Nitro in 97' or 98', only, in the end, Cena eventually showed up and this match was set. Many expected this match to be one-sided going into it, but The Miz was in the midst of his first major singles push and actually got some decent offense in. I liked how The Miz targeted Cena's neck as Cena had had surgery on it just about a year prior (a fact that the commentary team doesn't forget to mention either), but that, ultimately, Cena got to assert his dominance regardless as the much more credible worker. Simply put, this match told the exact story it needed to - Cena is The Man, but The Miz is not the scrub that he was 2 years earlier when this match would've been a complete squash. Still, these two would go on to have much better matches and The Miz would continue to develop a much more interesting mix of solid offense and brilliant, crowd-baiting shtick. For what it was, not a terrible match, just not close to either guy's best. (2/5)

And now, the actual main event - Triple H vs. Randy Orton in a 3 Stages of Hell match for Orton's WWE Championship. As I'm not a huge fan of either guy, the very idea of this match made me wonder if it would be me going through hell rather than the wrestlers, but this is actually a rather quick and tame trio of matches. It starts off with a straight-up traditional match and Triple H and Orton spend the minutes with Orton attacking Triple H's injured knee and both guys just trying to hit their finishers rather than actually having the kind of "physical chess game" that they both tend to do (and which tends to bore me to death). Triple H ends up getting himself disqualified, which is consistent with his Game character but still came off as a bit of a heel move and unsurprisingly drew some boos from the audience. Cole noted on commentary that Triple H and Orton had a Last Man Standing match on RAW just a week before this match (this explains Triple H's damaged knee), but also struck me as a perfect encapsulation as to why the WWE's B-level pay-per-views were always a tough sell and felt so unimportant (and still do). I genuinely wonder if the WWE put on actual PPVs today if they'd sell more than AEW's. Anyway, after getting himself disqualified, Triple H is down 0-1 but evens the score rather quickly with a pedigree on the arena floor as the next fall is a Falls Count Anywhere that goes nowhere. The final stage of hell is a Stretcher Match, which seems like a letdown compared to other matches that involved way more weapons and the Hell in a Cell. Stretcher matches are almost never good, or at least they aren't based on the few I've seen, but this one isn't all that bad - it just feels like a midcard match more than a fitting main event or satisfying "feud-ender." When you have to work around a stretcher, you're bound to have good spots and spots that don't work out so well and, like the Matt/Jeff Hardy Stretcher match from April of this same year, creativity can sometimes cost you more than help you if the stretcher itself won't cooperate. In this match, Orton's hangman DDT off the stretcher looks terrific, while bashing your opponent's head on the padded "bed" (and them selling it) is noticeably silly. Orton's Legacy bros eventually show up to prevent Triple H from pushing the stretcher passed the finish line and Orton ends up getting the victory by clocking Triple H with a piece of the floor rather than hitting his RKO, which would've been more definitive. Then, for no real reason, Triple H still reigns supreme at the end of the show by taking out all three guys with sledgehammer shots. This felt like a great opportunity for Triple H to give Orton a semi-clean win, but for whatever reason, we don't get that and the never-ending HHH/Orton rivalry continued on (though, to be fair, Triple H did take a step away from the WWE Title scene as he and MIchaels re-formed DX to take on The Legacy). This wasn't terrible and I probably liked it more than I would've the huge, bloated, overly long match that I was expecting, but it definitely didn't feel anything like the more gruesome and violent 3 Stages of Hell matches that came before it and definitely doesn't touch close to "must see" match territory. (3/5)

With an overall Kwang Score of 2.81-out-of-5, The Bash 2009 might not seem like a show worth seeking out, but there are at least two truly great matches in Mysterio/Jericho and Punk/Hardy on this show and the Tag Titles and Women's Championship aren't too bad either. What drags this show down, even more than the unremarkable Ziggler/Khali match or the underwhelming opener, is the lackluster main event, a 3 Stages of Hell Match that isn't bad but certainly doesn't live up to the standards of previous installments and feels very "PG" by comparison. 

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand