TNA Slammiversary VII

 TNA Slammiversary VII

Detroit, MI - June 2009

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: The TNA World Heavyweight Champion was Mick Foley, the X-Division Champion was Suicide, the TNA World Tag Team Champions were Team 3D, and the TNA Knockouts Champion was Angelina Love.

The show kicks off with the X-Division Title up for grabs in a King of the Mountain Match with Suicide defending the title against Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed (aka Xavier Woods), Alex Shelley, and Chris Sabin. Curtis Granderson of the Detroit Tigers serves as the "belt keeper" and joins in on commentary. A King of the Mountain Match has been described as a "reverse ladder match," but its even more complicated than that - it involves pinfalls and/or submissions and a penalty box too. Jay Lethal was doing his Macho Man cosplay gimmick at the time. Suicide, the champion, was portrayed by - I think - Frankie Kazarian at this point, but it might've been Christopher Daniels? Any which way, he's the target for the other four men as, remember, in order to even be eligible to win the title, you have to score a pinfall or submission. This, of course, begs the question - why don't Creed and Lethal or Shelley and Sabin just pin their respective tag partner and then return the favor and make things easier for themselves? Anyway, Suicide gets a pinfall on Lethal very early on after suplexing him on a ladder and Lethal goes into the box (and Granderson exits on commentary). Suicide gets a second pin, this time on Shelley, sending him to the penalty box. The first pin made some sense as it came after a ladder spot, but Shelley getting pinned on a double-knee chestbreaker (Codebreaker) made less sense. Sabin gets some revenge for his partner, though, tossing a chair into Suicide's face and, for no reason, not going for what should've been an automatic pinfall. Suicide gets his face busted into a chair and gets pinned by Lethal. Shelley comes back into the ring and for some reason, all four men start celebrating. I get that they're all babyfaces, but that was too cutesy - especially this far into a match involving weapons and seemingly for a major singles championship. The MCMG get some awesome offense in; their tag work was exceptional at this time. Creed gets a pinfall on Shelley, though, sending him back to the box and making himself eligible to hang the title - which nobody has bothered to attempt yet. Creed hits a beautiful hesitation dropkick onto Suicide for 2, but Suicide rallies and takes out all 3 other men, ending things by monkey flipping Sabin into a ladder. The fight goes towards the entrance ramp, with Sabin landing a huge splash from the top of the penalty box on Lethal, Consequences, and Suicide in a terrific spot. Shelley comes back into the ring and sets up a ladder, but he doesn't have the title yet and he's not eligible. Sabin lays down for him, though - which means Sabin has to go into the box, but Shelley can attempt to hang the title. I'm glad they had at least one of the teams do this. Up the ladder he goes, but Suicide dropkicks it and Shelley hits the mat hard. They set up the ladder in the corner and Lethal ends up on top of it, but Suicide front-suplexes Creed onto it and Lethal gets catapulted into the middle of the ring. I'm not sure the physics are 100% legit, but that was still cool looking. Sabin hits a tornado DDT on Lethal and now he's eligible. Shelley lands a Celtic Cross (or whatever that move is really called on Creed), but Suicide takes him out - only to get dropped by Sabin, who sets the ladder up in the middle of the ring. Sabin looks to hang up the belt, but Suicide prevents him. Sabin hits a hesitation dropkick on Suicide in the corner and heads back towards the hook, but Lethal comes out of the box and back suplexes him off the ladder - only to get hit by an Alex Shelley frog splash! Shelley superkicks Suicide and inexplicably moves the ladder out of the ring, setting it up on the outside of the ring. Back in the ring, Creed takes over and from here we get the biggest spots of the match - Sabin taking a back bump into the ladder, Shelley landing a crossbody on Suicide on a chair, Jay Lethal hitting an elbow drop onto Sabin (who was still laying across the ladder), and Shelley landing a devastating superkick and then a Sliced Bread #2 onto Creed on the ring apron. Shelley attempts another one, but Suicide counters it and sets up the ladder in the ring. Shelley tips the ladder, but Suicide doesn't fall off, climbing instead onto the penalty box. Shelley tries to ram him with the ladder, but Suicide pulls it up and ends up bashing Lethal with it. Creed climbs up the penalty box too while Shelley sets up another ladder. Suicide manages to hit a running neckbreaker on Shelley off the ladder and then climbs up the ladder to retain his title. There were some really cool moments in this match, but there were also some head-scratching moments, including Shelley and Suicide blatantly setting up the ladder a good 2-3 feet away from the hook for no real reason - aside from the fact that they needed to position them this way for the sake of the spots they were performing. (3/5)

Backstage, "The Franchise" Shane Douglas gets interviewed before his match against Christopher Daniels. The build for this match is all about Douglas fighting for a job in TNA but his promo is all about how he's a legend who has been at the top of the mountain everywhere he's gone, which is untrue and (I think) part of his gimmick as a delusional egomaniac. He also talks about Christopher Daniels like he's a "rising star" but Daniels was close to 40 years old at the time. I like that TNA and Douglas had put on a twist on the grizzled veteran trying to earn or keep their spot as usually its more of a babyface role. As one might expect, the action in this match is a step slower than what one might usually see from Daniels, the Franchise certainly not in career shape. After dominating early, Daniels gets driven into the steps, shoulder-first, by the crafty Douglas. Back in the ring, Douglas keeps the pressure on, targeting the shoulder. Daniels rallies, though, and after a good exchange of blows with Douglas and blocking Douglas' Belly-to-Belly Suplex, Daniels hits the BME (Best Moonsault Ever) to get the clean win. This wasn't bad at all. A simple story told well enough. (2.5/5)

Mick Foley is backstage with Jeremy Borash. I have no idea how or why, in 2009, Mick Foley was the TNA World Heavyweight Champion. He was 44, but hadn't been a regular competitor in the WWE for quite some time. It was just a weird, puzzling move.

The Beautiful People's Angelina Love defends her TNA Knockouts Championship against the former Victoria of WWE, Tara. At the time, TNA's Knockout Division was considered significantly more hard-hitting and important than the WWE's Women's Division, though the WWE did have some talented women on the roster. The difference was that, in TNA, a match like this would get ample time, while in the WWE, the "divas" were often given just 5 minutes a night. This match doesn't necessarily feature the same level of innovation or athleticism that the women of 2021 are able to deliver (nor is its runtime that much longer than what the WWE was allocating at the time), but it also feels less choreographed, less predictable, and has a "big fight" feel that TNA didn't always have - even in its men's division - and the WWE certainly hadn't had since the peak of the Stratus/James feud some 3 years earlier. Like the previous match, we get a simple story here with Madison Rayne and Velvet Skye getting involved and eventually costing Tara the match. Good match with the right finish. (3/5)

Somewhere backstage, Dr. Stevie Richards, Daffney, and Raven are interviewed. Stevie Richards discusses how many hours he spent trying to cure Chris Park (Abyss) while Raven cuts one of his trademark promos, full of metaphors and similes, to hype their Monster's Ball Match (which also involves Taylor Wilde). Early on we get some man-on-woman violence with Abyss inadvertently crushing Daffney in the corner in a spot that gets a big reaction and, moments later, press slams Daffney onto Stevie and Raven on the outside. The brawl continues into the crowd and we get some weapons used too. As the brawl continues, Taylor Wilde sets up Daffney on a table and hits a splash off a stack of speakers near the stage in a solid, crowd-pleasing moment. Raven and Abyss make their way back into the ring, Abyss eventually pulling out a bag of thumbtacks. Before he can use them, Stevie levels him with a chairshot to the head and Raven follows it up with his signature drop toehold into the chair (though Abyss lands hands-first and doesn't seem too hurt by it). Raven puts a kendo stick to use, beating Abyss square in the head with it repeatedly. Raven tries to choke him out with it, but Abyss won't stay down, eventually getting a hold of a kendo stick himself. Abyss hits a chokeslam and gets the visual pin, but Richards distracts the referee. Taylor Wilde finally comes back into the fray and Abyss rocket-launches her onto Raven - but, again, there's no ref to make the count. Abyss dumps the thumbtacks and the crowd pops in anticipation. Daffney comes from behind and tries to beat down Abyss, but Abyss feels no pain. In an insane moment, Abyss looks to chokeslam Daffney on the thumbtacks, but she turns and walks into a pop-up release spinebuster from Taylor Wilde onto the tacks! Holy shit! Wilde goes for the cover, but only gets 2 because Richards interferes. Abyss looks to chokeslam Stevie, Raven clocks him with a chair. Raven hits his Evenflow DDT onto a chair but only gets 2! Raven goes for another one onto the tacks, but Abyss counters it into the Black Hole Slam onto the tacks to end this one. I'm not a big Abyss fan, but Raven, Richards, and Daffney were the right opponents and this match scratched the "hardcore itch" that the crowd wanted it to with plenty of chairshots, a splintered table, some good kendo stick work, and then the somewhat shocking use of thumbtacks. Not a "must see" match, but still considerably above average. (3.5/5)

A video package hypes our next match - "The Blueprint" Matt Morgan vs. Sting, with Morgan fighting to be allowed into the Main Event Mafia. I'm not sure if it was around this time or a couple years later, but Morgan had been making some waves about getting a big run back in the WWE (where he worked from 03'-05'), but it never came to be. There are good moments in this match - Morgan does a nice job selling a damaged leg throughout, Sting is over with the crowd so the heat segment works, and the layout and pacing hide the fact that neither guy is able to work at top speed for long. Where things get less rosy is in the minor details as neither Morgan nor Sting could ever be classified as "super workers" and it shows at time. Morgan is solid, but some of his movesets, facial expressions, and taunting are generic. Sting is far from his physical peak and seems like he's going through the motions a bit and, towards the end, when he calls for his Scorpion Death Lock, it seems out of place because it ignores the struggle he'd just gone through. This match just didn't call for the signaling and showboating. I'd also contend that this is an example of TNA's booking playing it a touch too safe. The potential in Morgan winning his way into the Main Event Mafia is far more intriguing than Morgan not winning his way in. Plus, as the MEM was a psuedo-heel faction, it didn't quite make sense for Sting to be a part of it anyway. This match is passable, but its not quite as good as it could've been if they had tightened the screws a bit and gone out with a more interesting gameplan. (2.5/5)

The NWA Tag Team Titles are on the line next with Team 3-D defending against Beer Money (aka Bobby Roode and James Storm). The storyline coming into this was that Beer Money were the "team of the future," had won the Team 3-D Invitational Tag Team Tournament, had earned the respect of (and a trophy and a kayfabe $100k check from) Team 3D, but the once-and-future Dudleys weren't just going to hand the titles over to their newfound allies. Team 3D control early, Bully landing a nasty release german suplex on Bobby Roode and then delivering a two-man side slam assisted with a leg drop soon after. Roode and Storm attempt a double suplex, but Team 3D blocks it and maintain control, cutting off every attempt at offense Beer Money tries. When the ref's back is turned, Roode pulls D-Von crotch-first into the post and Beer Money gain some traction only to apply a headlock on D-Von. D-Von manages to gain enough momentum to make a tag and Bubba comes in, hitting his Full Nelson Bomb much to the delight of the Detroit crowd. Team 3D calls for their finish, but Storm prevents it. They toss the Cowboy and Bubba sets D-Von up for the Whassup headbutt. Bubba signals for his signature catchphrase, milking the moment and getting the crowd to say it instead. D-Von sets up a table on the outside but Storm takes him out and Beer Money are back in this fight. Roode hits a picture perfect spinebuster for 2, D-Von still selling on the outside. Beer Money hit a double suplex and do their own signature taunt, only for the British Invasion to show up. They join in on commentary as the match continues in the ring. D-Von gets the hot tag and unloads on Beer Money, back-body dropping Roode, elbowing Storm in the jaw, and getting a 2 count on Roode with an off-the-ropes Rock Bottom. He gets another nearfall with a clothesline and then an awesome pop-up chokeslam for another one as Roode just won't stay down. Team 3D hit a two-man reverse neckbreaker, but that also only gets 2! As the Invasion notes on commentary, the referee (Earl Hebner) isn't even trying to maintain order as all 4 men are just delivering moves to eachother a this point. Awful refereeing. Storm hits a hurricanrana on D-Von off the top rope and Roode hits a frog splash, but they only get 2.8! Storm and Roode position D-Von off the top, but Bubba breaks it up and Team 3D hit a top-rope clothesline for a nearfall of their own. Team 3D hit the Dudley Death Drop, but Rob Terry distracts the referee! Bubba Ray goes to the top rope and hits a splash on Magnus and Terry. Doug Williams gets involved and gets bumped through the table! Beer Money hit the DWI on D-Von, though, and we've got new champs. That match exceeded my expectations and obviously points to a future 3-way dance for the titles. I think this would've been really, really special with a cleaner finish and someone actually refereeing the match - Hebner was basically just an extra walking around the ring and letting everyone break rules without even a talking to - but I'd still call this above average. (3/5)

Main event time - a King of the Mountain Match for Mick Foley's TNA World Heavyweight Championship. There were several storylines coming into this match - Foley and Jarrett's on-going rivalry, the rivalry between Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle, and AJ Styles being "Mr. TNA" (and the Legends Championship holder at the time, as well as an ally of Joe against the Angle and the Main Event Mafia). They really go overboard with the entrances as they take up a good 10+ minutes. Joe gets a bunch of cheers for his Detroit Redwings jersey, while Angle gets a ton of heat for sporting a Penguins jersey. Before the bell rings, Joe goes right after Angle and the referees send Joe to the penalty box and then announce that Angle starts the match eligible to climb the ladder. God these rules are dumb. We then get a botch in the first pinfall attempt as the referee counts 3 for AJ covering Angle and then waves off his own count. Because the commentators and fans weren't paying attention, it basically goes unnoticed. Foley doesn't get involved at all in the opening minutes, basically just watching Jarrett and AJ work on Angle before attempting a bodyslam on Jarrett and then, for some reason, almost allowing Jarrett to get the pinfall on him so he can go into the penalty box. Its bizarre or at least doesn't make a ton of sense to me as someone who wasn't 100% keeping up with TNA at the time (or any for that matter). Joe comes in and works with Jarrett as AJ and Angle go to the outside. Foley comes in and Joe applies a submission, choking out the champion as the other three duke it out on the outside. A ladder gets slid into the ring as Foley gets helped into the penalty box, looking super dazed. Joe hits Angle with a devastating suplex onto the ladder - man, that looked gnarly. Jarrett sets up a ladder in the corner, but gets whipped into it himself as Joe looks like he has the match under control. Joe grabs the Championship Belt and sets up the ladder, looking to hang the thing and end the match. The penalty box timer runs out, though, and Foley knocks over the ladder and Joe lands back-first onto the leg! Dang, that had to hurt. The bumps and action of this match, like the opener, are hindered by the inane concept of this match as, if this had just been a straight-up ladder match for the title, I think they could've done even more and not had to have so many guys selling on the outside for almost no reason for extended periods (including AJ Styles, who basically disappears for 5+ minutes at one point). When AJ does come back into the fray, he gets overhead suplexed into the ladder to go right back on the outs. Jarrett attempts a guitar smash, but Angle doesn't fall for it and ends up getting the Ankle Lock applied. Jarrett kicks out of it and then grabs the guitar and smashes it over Angle's head to a nice, big response. Again, some of the sequences here are terrific, so its really just the match concept that doesn't quite work. Foley and Jarrett exchange fists on the ladder because, for some reason, Foley doesn't want Jarrett to win now? Why did he let him pin him earlier? AJ dropkicks the ladder, knocking them both off their perch as Joe takes out Jarrett. Foley climbs atop the penalty box - which would've been really crazy had it not been done earlier in the show. AJ meets him up there and Foley attempts to suplex AJ off the thing. AJ blocks it but after attempting a suplex of his own, Foley hip-tosses him from the penalty box back into the ring. That was cool. Angle hits an Angle Slam on Jarrett and goes for the cover - which he didn't need to do because he was already eligible to climb the ladder - but Foley comes off the box and hits him with a flying elbow drop! Angle goes into the penalty box and Foley goes to hang the ladder, only to get struck by AJ and kicked off the ladder. Kudos to Foley - he took some serious bumps in this match, refusing to not give his all long after his prime. AJ hits Foley with a Pele Kick to knock him out of the match as he and Joe team-up, Joe providing the assist as AJ comes flying over the top rope onto Foley. AJ covers Foley on the outside and is now eligible as Foley heads towards the penalty box. Jarrett knocks Joe with the ladder and looks to end the match, but he can't get it done either. We get some more cool spots, including Joe hitting a dive to take out Jarrett and Foley on the outside and then AJ hitting a Styles Clash on Angle and nearly getting the victory. AJ looks like he might have it won but Joe hits him with a powerbomb off the ladder! Joe climbs and Angle follows him up and then...hands Angle the title. What the fuck? God that's a shit finish to an otherwise really good - daresay "must see" match. I hate when, usually in a multi-man match, guys are seemingly going "all out" against eachother as part of a "swerve" that also relies on a ridiculous amount of luck. Like, if the goal is to get Angle the title, why didn't Joe help him throughout the whole match? What benefit is it to him or Angle to actually pretend to compete when they could've basically just ended the match in 10 minutes. It makes no sense and leaves a terrible taste in your mouth. This was around 3.5/4 range for me before the finish, but drops down at least a point or 2 for the ending. (2.5/5)

Earning a Kwang Score of 2.86-out-of-5, its understandable why some wrestling fans were excited about TNA in 2009. The roster was loaded with talent - including a still-game Raven who could be counted on to deliver the hardcore goods, an X-Division full of risk-takers and young talent in Jay Lethal and the Motor City Machine Guns, Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, and AJ Styles all arguably in their prime, and a motivated Team 3D who seemed willing and eager to help elevate teams like Beer Money and the British Invasion. Unfortunately, bad booking can hurt even the best talent and this show has an unfortunate bit of it, specifically in the main event and the uninspired Sting/Morgan match. Still, as a whole, this was an interesting - if not always great - show that has enough variety and stars to make it worth checking out in parts.

FINAL RATING - Watch It...With a Remote Hand