My journey through Royal Rumbles past continues with the 2009 entry, which kicks off with the ECW Championship on the line between Matt Hardy and Jack Swagger. Coming into this match, Swagger was undefeated, had defeated Hardy for the title only recently, and was getting lots of hype on commentary as a future mega-star. That didn't quite happen, but then again, barely anyone "broke out" between 2009 and, well, today, so its not like one can really place all the blame on Swagger. As a matter of fact, this match isn't too bad - another example of Matt Hardy never having the worst match on the card, but not necessarily ever having the best. He's just consistently good and this is a good-not-great match that accomplished what it was designed to do - namely get the crowd warmed up and further establish Swagger as a worthwhile ECW Champion. The most shocking thing to consider is that Hardy came into this match as the wily veteran and, 12 years later, is still competing in this role. (2.5/5)
Randy Orton is shown arriving in the arena next. The story coming into this show was all about Orton punting Vince McMahon, which all-but-guaranteed that Orton and Triple H would be headlining WrestleMania months in advance. As Orton and HHH had feuded rather extensively in 04' and then again in 06'-07' and the McMahons had always been presented as mostly evil, this feud was an absolute mess with Orton actually being cheered for much of it.
Back to the ring we go for the WWE Women's Championship match - Beth Pheonix defending the gold against Melina. Pheonix and Melina don't get much time - about 6 minutes - but they use it well and put on a competitive, spirited match. Its not as impressive as the stuff we routinely get from Bayley, Sasha, et. al. today, but its also not as overtly produced and they get good reactions without needless risks or choreographed high spots. Given more time, I think they could've put together something even better, but that just wasn't in the cards in 2009 even if Pheonix and Melina were more than capable. The finish came out of nowhere, but I guess that was by design, as Melina was able to hit a sunset flip to get the flash pin on Pheonix and win the title. Did this lead anywhere? Well, they wrestled in a dark match before the next pay-per-view and then competed in a Miss WrestleMania Battle Royale that was won by Pheonix's partner-in-crime Santino, so, it did lead somewhere - just not anywhere respectable. Another average match. (2.5/5)
The story coming into the next match was actually kinda interesting. In a nod to the financial crisis of 2007-2008, Shawn Michaels had fallen on hard times and had become JBL's paid ally, essentially taking losses and superkicking babyfaces per JBL's orders. This feud could've and should've led to a big blow-off match but ended up sidelined almost immediately in favor of the Shawn Michaels/Undertaker match that was - based on the Undertaker's appearance in a backstage segment before the next match - already pencilled in for WrestleMania. Of course, that match went on to be a classic and JBL and Michaels couldn't have possibly delivered something as good, but whatever. Anyway...JBL is challenging John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship, the commentators doing a nice job of reviewing their history together. If one was looking for a rough time frame for when Cena desperately needed new opponents, I think you could point to this era as being his creative low-point as he just pinballed through the same opponents he'd already feuded with extensively during his rise to the top of the company. Without the use of weapons or any blood or even getting to fight through the crowd or bust up some furniture, these two just put on a standard brawl built around signature moves and the teasing of involvement from Shawn Michaels, who eats scenery on the outside. Michaels is not a good actor, but he's a good wrestling actor at times. I did like the way they kept building up to JBL possibly getting the W if he nails his Clothesline in Hell and Cena constantly having a counter to it, but when JBL does finally hit it, Cena kicks out at 2. Its a good nearfall, but because Shawn hadn't been involved yet, I didn't bite on it even though - in any other match - it might've had me. That's the problem with booking JBL as a past-his-prime bully who needs Shawn Michaels: We know he can't win unless Michaels cheats for him. A ref bump finally brings us to the conclusion of the storyline basically (Michaels won his "financial freedom" from JBL in a forgettable 13 minutes at the next pay-per-view) as well as the match as Shawn superkicks both guys and then puts JBL's arm over Cena. Shawn then leaves, this whole scene taking a good 45-60 seconds. A replacement ref finally shows up and Cena kicks out then hits JBL with the AA for the victory. The match wasn't terrible, but it wasn't anything special and the finish was predictable and didn't even make a ton of sense as its unclear why the referee didn't just call the match a double DQ or why Mike Chioda was selling on the floor for multiple minutes. Not recommended. (2/5)
The WWE Championship was on the line in the next match - Jeff Hardy defending the title against Edge in a match that becomes No Disqualification - cue the screwjob - moments before it begins. A year prior, Jeff Hardy had nearly defeated Randy Orton for his first World Championship but ended up taking a clean loss. Then, in October, he couldn't win the title from Triple H. That December he managed to win the title in a triple threat from Edge (with Triple H also involved), but by then, he had cooled a bit and it was already believed that he'd likely be dropping the title by WrestleMania, which is arguably the show in which giving him the W would have elevated him the most (rather than having him lose on several pay-per-views before winning on one of the least important events of the year, the December Armageddon show). Instead, he was involved in a mystery attacker angle in which most people assumed the attacker to be either Edge (most likely, but least surprising), Triple H (a possibility that became increasingly less likely as Orton/McMahon feud began taking shape), Christian (who, I think, had just wrapped up his TNA run around this time), and the guy it ended up being - Jeff's brother Matt. But before we get there, let's go over the match - it's good, not great, which is kind of Edge's zone when there aren't a ridiculous amount of weapons involved. Hardy has certainly had worse matches too, but I find him to be somewhat underrated as, even if he's not some technical wizard, he always finds ways to make his high-risk look impactful, draws sympathy well, and because he doesn't mind launching himself off the ropes or barricades or steps, it's not like he needs ladders and tables the way a Sabu might. Here, Hardy and Edge put that on full display for the first part of the match by using the apron (before it was a trope) and relying on big dropkicks and signature moves to get a response. The crowd is definitely into this as, like I wrote about earlier, Hardy was arguably just as popular as Cena around this time (who was still not considered a "good worker" by many in the IWC). When Hardy does introduce a huge ladder into the match, the reaction it garners is as huge as one would predict, but I like that it ends up being used to put Chavo Guerrero through a table and not Edge as it adds accomplishes three things at once: (a) it takes Chavo's pestering interference out of the match, (b) it "saves" Edge from having to undersell what should be treated like a death move, and (c) it further gets the audience behind Hardy and sells his willingness to do whatever it takes to hold onto the WWE Championship. Back in the ring, Jeff hits a Whisper in the Wind for a solid nearfall and, moments later, Edge attempts a spear only for Jeff to counter it into another Twist of Fate! It doesn't look perfect, but it was still effective enough. Jeff goes to the top and hits the Swanton Bomb for the 1...2....oh, Vickie pulls the ref out! The crowd loses their shit at this and pops huge for Matt Hardy running down with a chair in hand. Matt looks like he's there to help Jeff, handing him a chair, and then grabbing another to set up a Con-Chair-To, but before they do it, Matt smashes the chair over Jeff's head! Respect to Jeff Hardy for taking the unprotected chair shot here as that is really the only way one can sell a moment like this. This allows Edge to make the cover and we've got a new WWE Champion and a brand new heel in Matt Hardy. I'm not sure I'd call this "must see," but its definitely the best match on the show by a healthy margin. (3.5/5)
Main event time - the 2009 Royal Rumble match! Rey Mysterio and John Morrison start things off, which I mistakenly believed was a nod to their somewhat famous Intercontinental Championship match from SmackDown, but that bout (and Mysterio's Wellness Violation) didn't occur till later in the year. Anyway, Mysterio and Morrison really set the tone for this whole match here with their near-eliminations, a trope that would be used so much during this match that it became old hat and then, somehow, became new hat again because of some of the clever/funny twists that guys like CM Punk and Rey himself would later put on it. The ring fills up with no eliminations through Carlito, MVP, and The Great Khali because Koslov shows up and eliminates Khali, MVP, and Carlito, establishing himself as The Man To Beat early on. A couple months earlier I think we was headlining PPV and a year from this, I'm not even sure he was in the company anymore. Triple H comes in at #7 and, no surprise, immediately eliminates Koslov. Orton comes in next, though, and the crowd reacts big as Orton had just punted Vince a week earlier and this meant sparks would fly when he went toe-to-toe with Triple H. At the time, Orton or Triple H were heavily favored to win the Rumble, but watching this show back, its worth noting how many big time stars actually ended up appearing - after and between guys like JTG, Finlay, and Orton's Legacy back-ups in Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr., we get some real main event talent in Chris Jericho at #11, Undertaker at #16, Big Show at #30, and guys on the cusp of being there - The Miz (who would headline WM27 two years later), Mark Henry, and CM Punk (who was Intercontinental Champion at the time but already plenty over). Unlike the previous couple year's editions, this Rumble skips out on the "cute" moments (aside from Santino's infamous record-setting elimination) and the big shocking unexpected appearances (aside from hometown hero, RVD, who made a 1 night appearance and wouldn't be back with the WWE for four years), but its all the better for it. Watching this 12 years later and not being in the middle of what was a morass of Cena/HHH/Orton dominance makes this match work. Orton using the Legacy to help him win was predictable then, but actually seems sensible and realistic now. Speaking of the Legacy, the Goldust/Cody exchange is great stuff that stands even taller as a moment now. The same can be said for the aforementioned CM Punk's moments with Triple H and the Deadman, two guys that he wouldn't really work with for quite some time yet but would end up being career-defining feuds for him in the company. While Batista's absence is a bit glaring and Umaga is also missed (he was either out for a Wellness Violation or an injury, I believe), the roster is fairly stacked and Mysterio, Morrison, Punk and others do get to hang with the top talent for plenty of time. Again, at the time the finish was fairly predictable, but "in a vacuum," the match comes across as plenty competitive. I would consider this an above average Rumble. (3/5)
With a Kwang Score of 2.7-out-of-5, the show wasn't a total home run, but it accomplished what it needed to and set the stage for the WrestleMania in a way that these events should. Coming out of this show, it was fairly clear that Orton/HHH was going to be our Mania main event, they were already hinting to a Shawn Michaels/Undertaker showdown, Matt Hardy had made a shocking turn on his brother, and Edge was back on top of the SmackDown brand. The next month's No Way Out show (featuring two Elimination Chamber matches) would throw things into the blender a bit as Edge would drop his WWE Championship to Triple H and then win the World Heavyweight Championship in the same night, something I'm not sure ever happened before or since. All in all, if you're a fan of this era, this show might represent the best mix of singles and multi-man action of the time.
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
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