7 years after launching the WWE Network, which inspired the creation of this blog and my reviewing of nearly every WWE "pay-per-view" after WrestleMania XXX (not to mention every WCW pay-per-view), the WWE obstensibly threw in the towel in the winter of 2020/2021, announcing that the WWE Network would now be part-and-parcel of Peacock TV, NBC's semi-recently launched app. The move made plenty of sense for the WWE who got paid a huge sum of money to get out of the app game and let someone else, a huge conglomerate, take over and assume much of the risk and responsibility of running a streaming service. Time will tell if the user's experience will suffer in the longterm, though, in the short term, yes, there were issues.
Kicking off the show was Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair challenging for the WWE Women's Tag Team Championships held by Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler. As I don't watch the weekly programming, I'm only sorta familiar with the storylines coming into this but Banks and Belair have had a tenuous relationship since Belair won the Rumble and announced she was going to be challenging Banks. Meanwhile, Jax and Baszler had dropped the titles in December at the TLC pay-per-view in a questionable booking decision but had won them back at the Royal Rumble pre-show anyway to further the Lacey Evans/Charlotte Flair feud that didn't end up going anywhere anyway (due to Lacey's real life pregnancy). Maybe had Jax and Baszler actually been built up as unbeatable this match would've felt like a bigger deal, but this just didn't have the gravitas of the Mega Powers taking on the Twin Towers. This felt like a compulsatory pre-Mania match where the babyfaces finally turn on whenever and things...get...personal. Unfortunately, they beat that story into the audience's head with too much talking, Banks and Belair coming across like two actors acting angry at eachother. Of all the stories that these two could have told, the WWE went with something generic, which is a shame considering that Banks and Belair are among the least generic superstars on the roster. This felt like a TV match, perfectly acceptable but not good enough to warrant a re-watch. (2/5)
The WWE Intercontinental Champion Big E defended his title against Apollo Crews in the next contest. The story coming into this match was all about Crews not being able to defeat Big E and turning heel by leaning into his Nigerian heritage (again, not watching the weekly TV makes me wonder how being proud of your heritage is a heel trait, but I'm sure those dots were connected at some point). Once the bell rang, though, Big E was the guy whose charisma and offense captured my attention as he delivered his spear off the apron and then a splash on the ring apron within the first few minutes, all the while talking non-stop trash. If the overdramatic back-and-forth in the previous match felt forced, Big E's self-talk had the opposite effect as it actually helped tell the story that they were going for, of Big E almost goading Crews into bringing his best and coming out of his shell. Of course, once Crews did so, he did so with a series of awesome superplexes and Big E was almost in trouble - but eventually outsmarted Crews with his legit amateur wrestling technique, again proving that Crews is still not ready to really be where Big E is at. The post-match beatdown kept Crews strong and made it clear that this rivalry is not over. With this match obviously designed to serve as the next chapter of their rivalry, it can't necessarily be judged like any old match - but for what it was, it worked for me. (2.5/5)
Shane McMahon was supposed to face Braun Strowman next, but I'm guessing they're saving this afterthought-of-a-feud for WrestleMania because they need to fill up 2 nights. If you Google the phrase "diminishing returns," a picture of Shane McMahon should be the top hit at this point as he feels like the opposite of what a "big deal" is in 2021. McMahon enlisted Elias as his replacement (with Jaxson Ryker serving as Elias' second) and these two put on a decent/nothing special match. Whoever thought adding Elias into this mix would make this storyline better or seem like a bigger deal has a very, very poor understanding of Elias' overness in 2021. This was filler but not very good filler at that because everyone involved is ice cold. (1/5)
Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura followed. A few years back this would've been a dream match and maybe should've been built up more along those lines rather than being about Rollins calling Nakamura out for "floundering" since his team with Cesaro ended (which isn't even all that accurate). I guess the problem with building up this match as a "dream match" is that Nakamura was hot - then cold - then reheated - then cold again so many times that he doesn't have a fraction of the aura he did when he first debuted in the WWE and while Rollins remains someone I don't necessarily look forward to watching, I must admit that he's had some strong bouts over the past year, specifically his WrestleMania bout against Owens and his work with the Mysterios. Maybe in front of a live crowd this match would've kept my attention, but it didn't grab me. There was one remarkable sequence - which, according to Low Ki, was stolen from him - where Rollins missed on a Shining Wizard and then, catching his foot on Nakamura, surprised him with a back kick. It was a cool spot, no doubt, but I'd hate to see it get as overused as so many of Rollins' other moves that, when he first busted them out, seemed special but now seem like just another item on a checklist of things he does every match. A good match, but not one I'd go out of my way to see or re-watch. (3/5)
Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre in a No Disqualification match was next. This was as hard-hitting a match as we've seen in quite awhile from the WWE, just two big brutes hitting each other with everything they could, including steps and kendo sticks, and sending eachother into and through walls and tables. My biggest gripe would be that some of the more devastating moments - like McIntyre stomping on Sheamus' head on top of the steel stairs - weren't sold as a big deal while, in other contexts, that could be the basis of an entire angle. The same could be said of a spot that saw Sheamus get run through a video wall. Still, the story being told was that these were two tough dudes, no longer friends, trying to wreck each other with total abandon because they were fully aware of how tough their opponent was. Its worth noting too that, while I was a bigger fan of the Last Man Standing match between Owens and Reigns than most (aside from the horrendous and inexcusable finish), this felt grittier and harsher because it didn't rely on as many stunts or set pieces. Instead, we saw Sheamus dish out signature moves like the Brogue Kick and the White Noise, but off of the barricade, onto the floor, through a table. And, all the while, Sheamus and Drew sold the anguish and the exhaustion. I didn't love the finish, which came just a bit too suddenly for my liking, but this was still an effective way to keep McIntyre looking strong going into WrestleMania. I'd say this was just a hair or two short of being "must see." (3.5/5)
The next "contest" - if one could call it that - was slated to be Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss. Any longtime WWE viewer would know that this "match" was never really going to happen, at least in the conventional sense. The story coming into this is that, a couple months back, Orton lit Bray "The Fiend" Wyatt on fire and this resulted in Alexa Bliss (and whatever other supernatural elements are in Wyatt's control) coming after Orton via weird Papa Shango-esque voodoo attacks. The Thunderdome fans booed Orton during his entrance, which ended up being stopped abruptly once he started puking out more black goop. This stuff reminds me of the Kids in the Hall sketch with the brown liquid coming out of Dave Foley's mouth. Bliss made her way down the aisle and the bell rang but as Orton approached Bliss, flames shot of the ring. Orton went running into Bliss, but Alexa dodged and he hit the post. God, even a non-match they do the shoulder-into-the-post transition. Bliss continued to tease Orton, luring him around the ring where she pulled a move out of Carrie and caused a lighting rig to fall from the ceiling with just a flash of her eyes. Back in the ring, Orton went after her again in the corner, but Bliss shot him with a fireball (which he dodged at the last minute). Then, Bray Wyatt, burned up and gross and looking a bit like that toxic sewer character from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (*I looked it up: his name was Muckman), crawled out of the ring and hit Orton with a Sister Abigail to give Bliss the victory. This was not quite bad enough to be in that "so bad-it's good" territory. I'm not going to even rate this segment.
Main event time - Roman Reigns defending the Universal Championship against Daniel Bryan with Edge as the Guest Enforcer on the outside of the ring (I guess to keep Jey Uso from getting involved?). With intros and everything, this match took quite awhile to get under way but it did have "big fight feel" even if the conclusion was never really in doubt. Unlike their match several years ago - also on a Fastlane show, if I'm not mistaken - Reigns was in full heel mode while Bryan was playing a bit of a cocky shit-stirrer, trying to bait Reigns into a grappling-based match. This was not "underdog" Bryan, this was World Beater Bryan, and it was nice to see that confidence and Reigns' apprehension, the Big Dog not scared of Bryan as much as cautiously aware that Bryan might be the most skilled straight-up wrestler in the company, a guy that can not be underestimated, that can surprise you with debilitating submissions if you let him. When the match found its way to the mat, Bryan performed a joint manipulation submission that looked absolutely brutal, but Reigns escaped and took his anger out with a boot and a big right hand. Reigns followed it up by driving Bryan into the corner. He attempted something off the ropes but Bryan caught him with a dropkick and then wrenched his arm like nobody's business (and, instead of releasing the limb, kicked him square in the thigh immediately after). Bryan was just so, so good throughout this contest, but its not like Reigns was just there for the ride; Roman finally feels like a guy that can be "The Guy" long-term, a dominant heel force that fans will pay to see get challenged for months to come. Reigns applied a headlock but Bryan struggled free with some elbows to the gut before getting upper-cutted off the apron and onto the arena floor. Reigns sent him into the barricade and then, after a brief flurry of offense from Bryan, into the post right as both men nearly got counted out. Reigns went for a cover but only got 2 and then hit him with a second snap suplex for another nearfall. As Bryan tried to regroup in the corner, Heyman and Reigns talked trash, but this gave Bryan a chance to mount some offense, delivering a series of kicks and then a huge running dropkick in the corner. Bryan set up Reigns on the top rope and attempted his hurricanrana, but Reigns blocked him and turned it into a Boston Crab! Nothing wrong with that at all. Bryan somehow inverted himself, though, turning it into a pinning combination for 2.5! Both guys got back on their feet and Bryan hit a stunning clothesline that took the wind out of both men. After enough exchange, Reigns ended up on the floor and Bryan went for a splash that didn't quite work out but ended up leading to Bryan hitting a series of big knees to the head and then a missile dropkick in the middle of the ring! Man, this match would've absolutely crushed in front of an audience. Bryan went for the Yes Kicks and hit a whole bunch of them, but Reigns caught him and then delivered a devastating forearm to Bryan in the corner, followed by some vicious stomps. Damn. These two were definitely sore after this one. Reigns went for a powerbomb, but Bryan countered and hit 2 big Yes Kicks to the skull - but only got 2! Paul Heyman sold this beautifully on the outside too, looking very much concerned. With Reigns in bad shape, Bryan delivered his vicious boots-to-the-face move and then rolled it into the Yes Lock! Reigns would not give up, though, even after Bryan rolled him back towards the center of the ring and reapplied the thing! Somehow Reigns crawled out and then just let loose on Bryan with elbows and forearms before hitting a powerbomb for a 2 count of his own. Wow. Reigns went for a Spear, but Bryan caught him with a kick to the face. Bryan went for his running boot finisher, but Reigns dodged and Bryan caught the referee! Reigns hit a Spear and went for the count and Edge dived into the ring to make the count, but Bryan kicked out anyway! Cole announced that with the ref down, Edge is now the "authority" - which sounds new to me - but whatever. An unbelievable match was tainted a bit here as they went heavy into the melodrama via more in-ring jabbering. Reigns went for more ground-and-pound offense, but Bryan caught him in a Triangle. Reigns lifted him up for a powerbomb, but Bryan turned it into the Yes Lock! Holy cow. Jey Uso then ran in and hit both Bryan and Edge with superkicks before grabbing a steel chair. He ran Edge into the post and then went to hit Bryan, but Bryan ducked and caught him with a running boot to the face! Bryan waffled Uso with the chair repeatedly, eliminating him from the match. He went to hit Reigns but Roman dodged it and Bryan struck Edge in the side instead! Reigns hit the Superman Punch and looked to finish him off with a Spear, but Bryan caught him and turned it into another Yes Lock! Bryan screamed for him to tap and Reigns was tapping - but Edge clocked Bryan with a chair and then struck Reigns too! Wow. That felt a bit like the return of the old Edge. Leaving both guys on the mat, Edge stormed out of the Thunderdome as a new referee finally made his way down the aisle. Reigns draped his arm over Bryan and the ref made the count, a finish that I actually really liked as it was basically just luck, just Reigns surviving (as Cole put it), and not actually defeating Bryan (who had made him tap). I thoroughly enjoyed this match, all the false finishes, and the actual finish as well. If this isn't the WWE MOTY for me come December, I'm not sure what would be. (4.5/5)
With a Kwang Score of 2.75-out-of-5, Fastlane 2021 may not seem like an all-time great show - and it wasn't - but it wasn't a labor to get through and the matches that needed to deliver absolutely did (especially the main event, which will undoubtedly end up high on my year-end Top 10 list). Sheamus/McIntyre was a solid brawl and, if you're a bigger fan of Rollins than I, his match against Nakamura would likely be worth checking out. The Intercontinental Title match seemed designed to progress a storyline rather than stand on its own, but the action it did provide was strong stuff. The worst part of the show was the Braun/Shane/Elias filler, a feud that isn't even worthy of being on Superstars. No wonder guys like Andrade and Aleister Black have wanted to get out of the WWE as there is no way that giving them screen time would go any worse than whatever it is Shane has been up to since his latest return.
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
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