Orlando, FL - January 2007
Final Resolution 2007 kicks off with a Last Man Standing match between AJ Styles and Rhyno. AJ Styles had recently turned heel based on the commentary, but this crowd didn't seem to really hate on him too much - probably because he was consistently putting on great matches. This match didn't really live up to its gimmick as there wasn't really anything "hardcore" about it. Plus, with this stipulation, you had to pin your opponent first and then wait for a 10 count, which led to both guys taking "visual pins" from non-finishing moves. This would've been much better had it just been fought as a plain ol' wrestling match and they'd just let Rhyno get the W as the actual finish feels like a cop-out (Styles essentially quits the match and walks off, which leads to Rhyno piledriving him on the stage and then inadvertently putting himself through a table when he attempts to gore AJ through the tunnel). I have no doubt that had these two not been burdened with an awkward stipulation that didn't play to AJ's strengths and had been allowed to just work a 15-minute match it would've been considerably better than this. (2/5)
The X-Division Champion Christopher Daniels defended his title against Chris Sabin and Jerry Lynn in a match promoted as X-Division's "Past, Present, and Future" coming to blows. Usually, matches like this can be really fun spotfests, but for whatever reason, whether it was just the lack of chemistry or a lack of innovation or just the fact that these three characters don't really play off eachother well, this was underwhelming. Against AJ Styles and Samoa Joe, Daniels stood out in many ways - not as flashy as AJ, not as tough and powerful as Joe, but clever and crafty and capable of both technicality and high-flying. Here, there's no real juxtaposition between the competitors as all three have rather similar styles - a mix of technical wrestling and high-risk maneuvers, but none really had the explosivity or flash (though Sabin would get stronger in both tags and a singles over time). And so, these three guys put up a good match...but not a great match and certainly not a match on par with the best of the X-Division. (2.5/5)
The finals of the Paparazzi Championship Series is up next, a 10-minute "scored" match between Alex Shelley and Austin Starr (aka Austin Aries). I was surprised to learn the Kevin Nash/Alex Shelley partnership had only started 7-8 months earlier as I could've sworn they were doing brilliant taped segments as early as 2005. Whatever. The point is, Shelley and Nash were gold and I actually thought the Paparazzi Productions stuff got a bit watered down once they added ever other X-Division midcarder to it. Shelley and Austin have a good 10-minute match, but with that stipulation, it was clear that there was not going to be a winner. The judges are Bob Backlund, a Big Fat Oily Guy like the one that had been popping up on Raw (we'll get to why this is so stupid in a few paragraphs), and a dude in the mask they were calling Somalian Joe (get it? Because aside from the bad pun, I don't). After the bell rings, Backlund is the deciding vote and declares it a draw so Nash comes out and demands 5 more minutes. About a minute into the overtime, Shelley wins with a roll-up. The Nash/Shelley segments were funny because they were understated and clever and the cheap production value was charming, but this match and segment were a miss for me. 2-points for the action, no points for anything else. (2/5)
James Storm took on Petey Williams in a match pitting two former tag partners against eachother. I wasn't really paying attention to see why Storm attacking his former tag partner, Chris Harris, led to this match but it did. The real story was why Gail Kim was still Storm's valet after clearly siding with Harris too. Who cares, really. Decent enough action as Williams was a very talented, smooth worker who could make nearly anyone look halfway decent, including Storm, a guy that I never particularly saw anything super special in (especially as a singles worker). Storm gets the W through some heelishness and then handcuffs Williams to the corner. He looks to brain him with a beer bottle but gets stopped by Gail Kim. Jacqueline makes her TNA debut? Return? I'm not necessarily sure, but she shows up and her and Storm take Gail Kim out. At under 7 minutes, this didn't overstay its welcome, but it also didn't exceed my expectations for a run-of-the-mill, TV-quality TNA match. (2/5)
The next segment may be one of the worst things in TNA history. A bit of backstory here - Kip James (aka Billy Gunn) and BG James (The Road Dogg) had been cutting promos for weeks mocking the WWE, specifically their former DX stablemates Shawn Michaels and Triple H, who they referred by their non-kayfabe names because it was supposed to make their hatred seem "real." They "invaded" a WWE house show at one point. They showed up to Titan Tours. It was also nonsense that DX themselves had done roughly a decade earlier. They called themselves the "Voodoo Kin Mafia" so that their initials would match those of the WWE Chairman despite the name itself making no sense - neither guy practiced voodoo, they weren't brothers, and there was nothing mobster-esque about them. It was just three random words with those initials. A week or so before this show, they put up $1 million for DX to show up on PPV - a move that wasn't a parody of something DX did, but rather the same exact same thing Eric Bischoff had done in WCW (also about a decade earlier). And, just like in that instance, all it did was make the VKM (the Voodoo Kin Mafia, not Vince McMahon) look like total losers. And so, the VKM show up for their "fight" and proceed to run down the WWE...but not before admitting that they wished the best to Triple H, who had been injured recently. So, you'll mock these guys and "make it personal" for weeks and then when one of them gets legit hurt, its all "We love you, bro"? Ugh. Just awful. And the awfulness continues as BG James cuts a promo about how embarrassing it is that John Cena took an L to Kevin Federline. I'm not sure if he also made note of the Big Oily Guy that had been showing up on WWE TV for cheap laughs during this promo or if that was said a week or two earlier, but keep in mind - on this very show, TNA itself had brought out a Big Oily Guy for a cheap laugh. BG James sings a bar of "We're Not Gonna Take It" and tries his darndest to put over TNA as "the winner of the war" but absolutely no one could possibly buy it and it all comes off incredibly pathetic. Things go from terrible to even more terrible, though, when Christy Hemme shows up and proceeds to put on one of the worst acting jobs in pro-wrestling history, crying about how the women in DX's history (she mentions "Joanie Laurer" but forgets that there was also Tori, briefly) are ignored just like the ones backstage in TNA. Somehow Christy Hemme stating facts makes her the heel though and Kip James calls her a slut, which gets cheered. Its a bizarre, awful, backwards segment that ends with Hemme slapping Billy Gunn and BG holding him back from what I assume would've been male-on-female violence? Honestly, this was worse than WrestleCrap because WrestleCrap can be enjoyed. This was cringe-inducing awfulness that made me lose respect for everyone involved and anyone that allowed this to go on TV. Historically terrible. (-1)
Things get better, but not much better as Team 3D take on LAX (Hernandez and Homicide) for the NWA Tag Team Championships. This match was built up with an angle involving Brother Runt (Spike Dudley) getting beaten up by the LAX whilst wearing a Santa outfit and then becoming a drunk. I thought it was just a silly add-on to this feud, but (spoiler alert) Brother Runt ends up costing Team 3D the match when he drunkenly makes his way down to the ring and splashes Homicide, causing the ref to disqualify the would-be new champions. Its an awful finish, but its not like the match itself was very good. There are a few bright moments - Homicide's bumping into the guardrail from Bubba's punches, some nifty double-team work out of LAX - but I was a bit surprised to see that, despite being the company for over a year at this point, the Dudleys still looked a little awkward in the six-sided ring. And why was Bubba bleeding again? A real disappointment considering that I was expecting this to be at least average. (1/5)
I wouldn't call the next match an instant classic, but Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle in a 30-Minute Ironman Match is a very solid match and does adequately provide Joe and Angle the time needed to showcase their chemistry and skill. I really liked the psychology shown in the match too as both guys focused on locking each other in submission holds, forcing their opponent to submit before taking on too much damage. It was a smart story told and it was executed very well, though I do think this match would've benefitted from some sort of "swerve" to really make it more memorable instead of attempting to squeeze every bit of drama out of a rather straight-forward, simple concept. The entire 30 minutes is good as both guys were known for their execution and were very over, but this match just didn't get to that next level that would push it into all-time great territory. I'm not even sure it's "must see." (3.5/5)
Main event time - Sting vs. Abyss vs. Christian for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship (TNA was still using the NWA Championships as their own) held by Abyss. There's a helpful pre-match video to explain how this bout came...about and with Angle having defeated Joe, he'll be challenging for the title at the next major pay-per-view. Before the match begins, Tyson Tomko is placed inside of a ringside cage to prevent him from interfering by TNA authority Jim Cornette. Sting comes out next and its wild to think that he was already 48 years old at this point and is still working today in 2023. Some of the hype around this match revolved around Abyss' "secret," but as I didn't watch TNA very much back then (or ever), I have no clue if that "secret" was ever revealed or what it was. A readthrough of his Wikipedia page explains that it eventually centered on Abyss's criminal past (he was sent to prison for shooting his father) and a bizarre relationship with his mother. Anyway...good action to start this as they waste no time and just start brawling right from the jump. Christian and Abyss have solid chemistry and get to show it off as Sting plays dead outside the ring after a bump on the floor. Abyss gets the visual pin after a Black Hole Slam but the referee is distracted by Tomko choking Sting out on the outside through the cage. Christian and Abyss are back in the ring, but Sting comes into the ring out of nowhere and hits the Death Drop on the champ! Abyss is eliminated but Abyss won't leave the ring, grabbing Sting by the throat. He doesn't hit the chokeslam, which upsets James Mitchell. Abyss makes his exit and Christian lands a missile dropkick for 2. Dueling "Let's Go Sting/Let's Go Christian" chants erupt in the Impact Zone. After some good back-and-forth, James Mitchell makes his way back down the aisle. Sting applies the Death Lock, but Mitchell unlocks the cage and Tomko is freed. Tomko slides in the ring and attacks Sting behind the ref's back, dropping him with a Torture Rack Slam (?). Abyss comes back down the aisle to take out Tomko and it is pandemonium! All the craziness allows Christian to grab the title...but Sting dodges and hits Captain Charisma with the Unprettier but only gets 2! Great false finish there. Christian clotheslines the referee inadvertently, this match maybe going one step too far into overbooked territory as Mitchell and Abyss end up back in the ring together. Sting applies the Death Lock to Mitchell and Abyss knocks him out in the back of the head with a chain. Christian hits the frog splash and pulls the referee over to make the count to become the new NWA Heavyweight Champion for what I believe to be his second reign. Fun, exciting match with lots of swerves and good some action, but I think this match would've been better with a little bit more time spent in the beginning doing some actual back-and-forth wrestling and not just rushing into all the false finishes and shenanigans. (3/5)
Earning a Kwang Score of 2.14-out-of-5, Final Resolution 2007 is a mostly bad show that narrowly escapes being firmly in DUDleyville territory thanks to its final two matches, both of which are above-average and feature excellent work out of Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, and Christian, specifically. There's not a single other match or moment on the show that I'd recommend seeing and at least one segment that is among the worst ever produced by any US wrestling promotion ever.
FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver
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