Fastlane 2023 opened up with a video package featuring Pat McAfee. Having not watched much of any of the WWE's weekly programming, I was a bit underwhelmed with the card. Nakamura and Rollins' match at last month's show was good - maybe even the best either man has had in awhile - but I didn't necessarily see how it could've led to a rematch here. Meanwhile, the Bloodline saga without Roman Reigns feels a bit like when Redd Foxx wasn't on Sanford and Son to me.
Anyway, the in-ring festivities began with Cody Rhodes and Jey Uso challenging the WWE's Unified Tag Team Champions, Finn Balor and Damien Priest of the Judgment Day. With everyone getting big, lengthy introductions, this match didn't even get started until like the 10-12 minute mark of the show (which tended to also show what the WWE's plan was as far as filling out a show that only had 5 advertised matches). Balor and Priest dominated Main Event Jey early, cutting the ring in half and building the heat by preventing Cody Rhodes from making the tag. Cody eventually came in to a big reaction and landed an insane vertical superplex from the corner that looked absolutely devastating to both men. Jey Uso came back in and got the crowd chanting his name, landing a big splash off the top for 2. This match was worked a relatively slow pace with some lengthy breaks between the big spots, but everyone got a chance to shine and the crowd was with them from beginning to end. Rhea Ripley's presence late in the match spiced things up nicely, but the Damien Priest hurricanrana-into-Coup De Gras spot looked a bit awkward and choreographed. Cody made the save, which led to a 2-on-2 brawl. Priest went for a spingboard something and fell into an awkward superkick from Cody that looked ugly. Uso ate a briefcase to the face for a great false finish, so well executed that it made up for the clumsiness of the previous few minutes. Priest hit a sidewalk slam on the edge of the ring, but after McDonough inadvertently struck his stablemate with the briefcase, Rhodes hit his finish on Priest on the announce table. Uso came flying out of the ring soon, landing on Finn and McDonough. The faces continued their rally with a beautiful combo of a Superkick into an Uso-assisted Cody Cutter to win the titles in what I would consider something of a shocker. A really good match with a few sloppy moments, but, overall, plenty to enjoy and a great crowd-pleasing finish. (3.5/5)
After a commercial aired for this week's major NXT show - which will feature appearances from John Cena and Cody Rhodes (in an effort to counterprogram AEW's Tuesday night special) - the all-too-familiar sound of the Undertaker's gong went off. I'm guessing the Deadman is going to make some sort of appearance on the show, though I can't imagine why. I doubt the Phenom has any matches left in the tank, though a "cinematic" match like the one he had against AJ Styles some years ago seems within the realm of possibility. Anyway...
The Street Profits and Bobby Lashley took on Rey Mysterio, Santos Escobar, and what was supposed to be a mystery partner in the next match. I didn't know Mysterio was the reigning United States Champion but learning that put a smile on my face as Mysterio continues to be one of the best performers on the roster even after 20+ years of working. When the match began, it was 3-on-2, but the babyfaces started off hot with Escobar landing some big moves, including a wild hurricanrana off the top rope onto Montez Ford. Speaking of Ford, he and Dawkins were so popular as babyfaces that I'm not sure it was the wisest move to turn them heel, but maybe the longterm plan is to slowly build Ford as a singles guy? Their heel shtick wasn't bad, though, and I did like some of Montez's audible lines in reference to this match being noticeably sponsored by Pizza Hut. As a bit of a Lashley mark, I really liked his minutes with Rey, these two having natural chemistry just because of the peanut butter-and-jelly contrast of their characters and styles. Ford took out Escobar on the outside, which led to Mysterio having no one to tag in until we got the return of Carlito, who got a huge ovation and looked considerably more swole than he did the last time he was a regular on WWE programming. Carlito hit a Backstabber on Ford to get the W. My only real gripe is that Carlito now has new music which is much more "hype" than his old music but not nearly as unique. Another above-average match. (3/5)
Shameless Pizza Hut promotion followed as Graves and Cole got a pizza delivered to them by Xavier Woods. This was then followed by an ad for the upcoming Crown Jewel event.
What was more interesting was the on-screen debut of Jade Cargill, who was shown arriving at the arena and shaking the hand of Triple H while wearing what can only be described as "barely anything." I take it that this means Cargill will not be working at NXT - at least not yet - and will be debuting right on the main roster. We'll see how that turns out...
Next up - Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka vs. Iyo Sky for Sky's SmackDown Women's Championship (or whatever it is called now). Asuka used her mist in the first seconds of the match, a shockingly brilliant strategy that nearly won her the match right from the bell. This led to Iyo and Asuka essentially working a 1-on-1 match for the next few minutes as Charlotte went to the outside to get the mist away from her eyes with help from the medical team. Iyo and Asuka put on a great show against eachother but the live crowd seemed fairly disinterested until Charlotte came back into the ring. I'm a big Flair fan and thought she looked good here, holding her own against two very skilled competitors. Asuka hit a nasty german suplex from the second rope at one point, a match highlight, but Flair chopping down both women got an even bigger reaction. I was less impressed with Flair needlessly doing a front cartwheel before hitting a double clothesline, but its not like half the men on WWE's and AEW's roster don't embellish their moves with that sort of stuff. Shirai hit an awesome crossbody to the floor. The match tended to dip everytime Flair was out of the mix but only because the crowd seemed dead despite seeing some really good stuff. After hitting her trademark moonsault to the outside, Flair looked to be in control, taking out Asuka with a big boot back in the ring. Flair went to the ropes but Iyo caught her with a great simple uppercut and then the two battled on the top turnbuckle. Flair went for a fireman's carry, but it turned into a ridiculous Tower of Doom spot instead. Again, such a cool spot should've got a big reaction, but the crowd's enthusiasm seemed to dissipate soon after. Maybe the issue is that, with Iyo still sorta alligned with Bayley and Asuka essentially being a "tweener" character for so much of her run, there was no clear babyface? There were some good nearfalls towards the end of the match, including a would-be victory for Charlotte off of a spear. Bayley came down to help Iyo, but her involvement seemed to distract the champ more than help her. Asuka hit a flying knee for 2 and the match continued. Flair applied the Figure 8, but Bayley distracted the referee, allowing Iyo to hit the moonsault from the top rope and retain the championship. I wouldn't say this was "must see" but it was very good. I totally get that people hate Charlotte Flair for the way she is presented on TV and booked so strongly...but when you're this good, what other kind of booking should you get? (3.5/5)
Before the next match, Indianapolis' own Pat McAfee showed up and tried to wake the crowd up before the next match - LA Knight and John Cena vs. Solo Sikoa and Jimmy Uso. Cena spent most of the match on the mat, eating punishment for a good while before making the hot tag. LA Knight was super over with the crowd, but I still don't really get the appeal - especially from an in-ring standpoint as he doesn't really have all that flashy of a moveset and I don't think his bumping and selling are all that special either. Then again, this is much precisely what was said about John Cena back in the day. Jimmy Uso and Solo Sikoa make for a fine team and I liked Paul Heyman's work on the outside, but this match did not warrant the "This is Awesome" chant it eventually got. (2.5/5)
Before the next match, we saw the Judgment Day nursing their wounds backstage. Rhea Ripley convinced Damien Priest not to attempt to cash-in the briefcase even though Rollins and Nakamura would be fighting in a Last Man Standing match.
Main event time - Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura in a Last Man Standing match. The story coming into this match was that Nakamura was going to target Rollins back and, from the very start, that is what he did - ramming Rollins' back-first into the ring apron and the guardrail. Rollins fought back, though, and we got all sorts of weapon shots and furniture damage over the course of the contest. Last Man Standing matches are hard because, for starters, AEW has obviously raised the bar of what fans can and will get in terms of hardcore wrestling from a major mainstream promotion, delivering death match style contests on TV nearly weekly, something that even the WWE didn't do in the Attitude Era (and, I'd argue, ECW didn't do it when they were on TNN in the late 2000s either). For 20 years, the WWE version of a "hardcore match" was usually the only one most fans were seeing and TNA, while a bit wilder, wasn't pushing the envelope all that much further. The second issue is that, relying on a 10-count to finish a match, you really have to have workers capable of delivering big, high-impact moves or take ridiculous bumps or utilize uncommon set pieces (as we saw in the Lesnar/Reigns version at SummerSlam a few years back or the various John Cena LMS matches over the years). I'm not sure Rollins or Nakamura were the right characters for that. Rollins, even doing his Joker-inspired/Asuka-lifted over-the-top act, is still, when the bell rings, a wrestler that is all about workrate, counters and reversals, and often working a fast paced match that doesn't lend itself well to stopping for 7-8 seconds at a time. Nakamura may not be as quick and agile, but he's hardly a guy known for hardcore, weapon-filled matches either and almost seemed less dangerous with this stipulation. As the King of Strong Style, his strikes alone are supposed to deadly and adding kendo sticks and trash cans felt sorta cheap. Now, that's not to say this match didn't have some real highlights - Nak's double-knees through a table spot looked vicious, as did the Kinchasa that sent Rollins through another table moments later. I thought the Falcon Arrow looked good, even if I'd argue it wasn't "big" enough to properly end the match. I thought Nak's continued work on Rollins' lower back was a good through-line for the entire contest. Still, I don't think all the pieces and parts made for a particular memorable match or one that was "must see." Above-average, sure, but not a match I bet people will be raving about or even remembering a year from now. (3/5)
With a Kwang Score of 3.1-out-of-5, Fastlane 2023 was an overall strong show that looked a little thin on paper but ended up benefitting (mostly) from featuring matches with lengthier runtimes. The SmackDown Women's Championship was my Match of the Night and a quiet contender for being in the top 4-5 best women's matches of the year. The opener was excellent, the main event was what it needed to be, and only the Cena match underwhelmed. Overall, a worthwhile show to catch if you're a fan of the current WWE product.
FINAL RATING - Watch It...With Remote in Hand
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