Hell in a Cell kicks off with a helluva tag team match - The Rhodes Brothers vs. The Shield (Reigns and Rollins) vs. The Usos for the Rhodes' WWE Tag Team Championship belts. Cody, Goldust, Roman, and Seth had torn the house down at the previous month's Battleground PPV and adding the Usos, who were still relative newcomers and not revealed to be Roman's cousins on-screen yet, could've diluted the recipe. Fortunately, their addition allowed the two rival teams to put some new twists and turns into the match (as well as some awesome old-school Uso spots). Highlights included Goldust doing expert face-in-peril work, Cody hitting an insane superplex on Rollins onto the rest of the combatants, a ridiculous Uso Samoan Drop, and a wonderful closing sequence that saw Cody get the victory with a Cross Rhodes in convincing, clean fashion. A very strong opener, but a hair short of being "must see." (3.5/5)
After a commercial break, The Miz comes out to cut a promo about Bray Wyatt. Wyatt appears on the screen and then the lights go out and Miz is destroyed by Harper and Rowan. The crowd chants for Kane, who makes his first appearance since he was taken out by the Wyatts at SummerSlam. Perfectly fine segment.
Next up - Fandango and Summer Rae vs. Natalya and The Great Khali. Summer Rae was better than one might've expected, but that doesn't mean this match was particularly good - it just means that she somehow managed to only be the 3rd worst worker in this match. This went under 5 minutes but, at times, felt like it was running long. I'm guessing that has more to do with my general patience for Khali. Not bad, but not at all PPV worthy. (1.5/5)
Dean Ambrose defended his United States Championship against Big E in the next match. The New Day wasn't a thing yet and Big E had only come onto the main event scene sometime in 2012, but was in the midst of a sustained midcard push. This match starts out relatively strong with Big E showing off his power, but then things turn sour and the match slows down substantiall with the crowd audibly losing interest. At one point, Big E's eye gets cut and he's bleeding a ton, but because this was the PG era, its obvious that Ambrose, E, and the commentators need to downplay it - which is a shame because this match could've used that unintended accident to raise the stakes and really get the crowd behind the challenger. Ambrose takes the countout loss, which is a shit ending to a match that had glimmers of goodness. (2/5)
It is now time for the first of two Hell in a Cell matches - CM Punk vs. Ryback and Paul Heyman in a handicap match. Before the bout, Heyman cuts a promo as he gets raised onto the top of the cell by a treepicker. The crowd chants "Goldberg" at Ryback and then "Heyman Sucks" early in support of Punk, but it also seems like, at least to me, there is a palpable feeling that this was a bait-and-switch as Heyman is not involved in the match at all and just watches from the top of the cell. I wasn't expecting Heyman to get involved, but considering that Punk and Ryback don't necessarily have the best chemistry, it would've been good to throw him into the ring in some fashion just to provide distractions and to give the match more heat. And so, we get just another Punk/Ryback match, which isn't terrible but also isn't a pairing that tended to produce remarkable matches. Punk scores the clean win, but it feels pretty anticlimactic as Ryback, while booked strong, was not at Punk's level and not a wrestler that is particularly fun to watch in a 10+ minute match. Punk climbs to the top of the cell at the end and puts a whipping Heyman with a cane and then delivers the GTS. I think the crowd wanted to see a big Cell bump, but there was no way that was going to happen to Paul Heyman. Average at best. (2.5/5)
Los Matadores (aka The Colons under masks) took on The Real Americans (Cesaro and Swagger) in the next match. This felt like something you'd see on an episode of SmackDown around this time, not a pay-per-view match. El Torito was the most over part of Los Matadores' gimmick, but even he had a brief shelf-life. The Real Americans' shtick got decent heat from the crowd, but certainly hasn't aged well 10 years later when what was supposed to be an extremist gimmick seems to be the widely held beliefs of the Republican party. The action was fine as Cesaro is a ridiculously smooth and impressive worker and the Colons could always be counted on to deliver fast-paced offense and fly around the ring, but at a little over 5 minutes, there wasn't much of a story and the lack of involvement from Torito was a bit of a letdown. (2/5)
Next up - John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio for Del Rio's World Heavyweight Championship. The story coming into this match was that Cena had been on the DL (disabled list, not down low) due to a torn triceps that looked like his elbow grew an elbow and was now making his return to face a guy whose finisher was the dreaded armbar (all kidding aside, Del Rio's cross-arm bar did look terrific and painful). Over the previous year, Vince had done everything he could to get Del Rio over and, to some extent, he was over as a major heel, but I'm not sure the connection with the audience ever really solidified. Having him defeat Cena here might've been that extra push he needed, but that's not what we got. These two had pretty good chemistry - not as good as Del Rio and Christian, but not far off - but this wasn't a match I'd go out of my way to see. Del Rio would end up in the upper midcard and then out of the company within the next year, seemingly no longer someone that Vince saw worthy of getting the super-preferred treatment he'd had when he came in. I found the finish to be a bit flat and wish Cena would've sold the arm damage more convincingly as it was a bit on-and-off throughout the match, especially after Del Rio applied the armbar (which should've been sold as absolute death). Above-average, but not that much above it. (3/5)
Main event time - Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan for the still-vacant WWE Championship in a Hell in a Cell Match with Bryan's "mentor" Shawn Michaels as the Special Guest Referee. In the build-up to this match, the WWE really spun the idea that Daniel Bryan was trained by Shawn Michaels when the truth is that while he did attend Michaels' wrestling school, the Heartbreak Kid was not really the day-to-day trainer and, when he did come in, would often be pilled out and half-asleep based on Bryan's memoir. Anyway...Both guys come out with a lot of energy in the early going, but keep things mostly in the ring for awhile, not utilizing the cage at all. After dropping him chest-first onto the top rope a few times, Orton sends Bryan into the cell wall off the apron and then into the steel steps. Orton sets up the steps against the cell and tries to whip Bryan into it, but Bryan reverses it and then bashes Orton head-first into the steps. He goes for a pin, but only gets 2, and then hits a series of Yes Kicks. Daniel Bryan's control stretch that follows is fabulous, just great looking kicks and strikes and repeated dives ultimately ending with Bryan taking one risk too many and going face-first into the cage himself. Orton crotches Bryan into the post and combos it with his patented inverted backbreaker. Back into the ring they go, where Orton sets up Bryan on the corner and delivers a series of headbutts. I'm not sure what Orton was going for, but Bryan manages to turn it into a sunset flip powerbomb! After trading blows, Bryan gains control, hits a flying clothesline and then another round of kicks and a hurricanrana off the top rope. Bryan goes for the Diving Headbutt and hits it for 2. Moments later, Bryan applies the Yes Lock, but Orton slips out of the ring to break the hold. Bryan smashes Orton into the cell wall, rubbing the back of his head against the steel before hitting him with a big dropkick. Bryan finds a chair and uses it to further punish the Viper. Bryan tosses a whole bunch more chairs into the ring as Michaels begs him to stop. Up to this point, all things considered, this has been a fairly dominant performance out of Bryan, with Orton bumping and selling big time for him. Orton catches Bryan as he goes for another chairshot and now its Orton's turn to use some weaponry. Orton's chairshots to Bryan's back look and sound terrifically violent. Orton arranges the chairs in a heap and sets up Bryan on the corner once more, seemingly going for a superplex. Bryan fights him off but Orton pulls out his footing and then brings him crashing down into the ring, though not exactly into the chairs (which sorts of ruins the spot). Triple H makes his way down to the ring and the crowd erupts into "Asshole" chants. Triple H starts barking at Shawn as Orton maintains control in the ring. Orton gets the visual pin, but its clear that Bryan saw that Shawn was distracted and knew he couldn't make the pin anyway. Orton comes out and argues with Shawn too. Back in the ring, Bryan goes for another Yes Lock but can't apply it. Orton hits the Rope-Hung DDT and goes for the RKO, but Bryan shoves him off and into HBK and the two knock heads. Daniel Bryan hits the Bicycle Knee and gets the pin, but there's no one to count it! Triple H is in the cage and he pulls Bryan off of Shawn. Bryan hits the Bicycle Kick to The Game to a huge pop, but Michaels hits him with the Sweet Chin Music! Shawn makes the count as Orton covers him but does not look happy about it. The next night, Michaels would explain that he did this because Bryan attacked Triple H and didn't respect his authority (or something along those lines?), but really, it didn't matter - this match was a massively disappointing one for many fans and a cursory Google Search yields lots and lots of angry posts and bad reviews for the show. Looking back on it years later, I actually liked this finish more than the screwy non-finish at the previous show, but its still not a good one. Orton did everything he could to make Bryan look great and, ignoring the overbooked and feel-bad finish, I thought this match was better and funner to watch than their last outing. Bryan got to dish out a ton of punishment, which is good to see, though I kinda wish the commentators would've talked up a bit more how much he actually controlled this one from beginning to end as Orton spent most of the match taking a beating. (3.5/5)
With a Kwang Score of 2.57-out-of-5, Hell in a Cell 2013 is your run-of-the-mill WWE pay-per-view from this era, in good ways and bad. On the positive side, there are some great pairings and the action is good throughout. The Orton/Bryan match is great, barring the finish. The opener is really fun. Cena and Del Rio have a decent outing and the crumby Khali and Nattie tag is kept short. On the flipside, the conclusion of the main event is a gut punch and its near impossible to recommend a show that ends on such a sour note. Also, because this is a WWE show during a very PG era, both cell matches are tame affairs (though I'll give credit to Orton and Bryan for making up for the lack of hardcore spots by providing us a steady stream of wince-inducing kicks and chairshots to the back).
FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver
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