WCW UnCensored 95'

RATING LEVELS:

Curt Hennig – A “GOAT” show, as Perfect as possible

Watch It – A consistently good show worth watching in its entirety

Watch It…With Remote in Hand – 3 or more above-average ratings

High Risk Maneuver – Mostly filler, inessential, but 1-2 good matches

DUDleyville – Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch

WCW UnCensored - March 95'

Tupelo, Mississippi

COMMENTATORS: Eric Bischoff and Bobby Heenan

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Hulk Hogan is the reigning WCW World Champion, Vader holds the United States Championship (but doesn’t carry it or get announced as it at any point in tonight’s show), Arn Anderson is the TV Champion, and Harlem Heat are the recognized WCW World Tag Team Champions.

Blacktop Bully vs. Dustin Rhodes in a King of the Road match is our opening contest and this match is every bit as bad as you've probably heard. With two guys fighting on the back of an 18-wheeler cruising down an open country road, you know that you're not going to get much technical wrestling, but the "action" you do get is so slow-paced, so poorly captured, and so mild that it is a bore to sit through. There are a few moments when the Bully is in despair, nearly falling out into the street, but as there is no camera to capture anyone's facial expressions, it doesn't resonate and there's no real drama. Absolutely atrocious and at least 3-4 minutes longer than it needs to be. (0/5)

National Karate Champion, Sonny Onoo, is the referee for our next bout (and the first in front of the live Mississippi crowd) - Jim Duggan vs. Meng in a Martial Arts Match. Duggan comes dressed for a hardcore match and refuses to bow to his opponent to start the match. The crowd is more involved in this than I would've predicted as Duggan and Meng put on a ridiculous, cartoonish contest. Sonny Onoo's involvement adds an extra element of bizarreness, but this one is just barely PPV worthy. I enjoyed the final spot and one must give credit to WCW for trying their best to establish Meng as a credible heel. (1.5/5)

Before our next match, we get an interesting video segment centering on Arn Anderson, the reigning Television Champion. Like a weird political ad, you get a whole bunch of soundbytes, but very little actual substance. Still, it's a cool curiosity worth digging for. In fact, overall, the pre-match interviews and video packages building up to each match are quite good and provide needed context to viewers, like myself, revisiting these rivalries 20 years after the fact. (3.5/5)

Like the previous two matches, this one features a strange stipulation: it will be fought in 10 3-minute rounds and can be won by 10-count or pinfall as Television Champion Arn Anderson takes on former TV Champ, Johnny B. Badd. Badd starts things off with some jabs to the Enforcer, while the Enforcer tries to retaliate by tying him up. A 60-second rest period allows Anderson to regroup, but does little to hold the attention of the audience, who seem to get cooler by the minute. To his credit, Badd's rights and lefts look fantastic and stiff, while Anderson's selling is spirited and realistic. The start of the third round changes things up a bit as Double A cheap-shots his way to advantage and pulls out some desperation maneuvers to keep the upper hand.  The last few minutes are as up-and-down as the rest of the match - unique but not great. As a novelty, this could've been worse, but it also could've been a ton better and ended with a more suspenseful finish. (2.5/5)

The Macho Man joins Mike Tenay in the lockerroom in anticipation for his match with John "The Avalanche" Tenta tonight. After a few words, Savage heads down the aisle to take on, without question, the best third of the original Faces of Fear triad. This match further proofs Tenta's underrated greatness as he and Savage put together the best match of the night thus far. Fought under "Anything Goes" rules, it is oddly wrestled cleanly for the majority of its run time. Savage takes to the air and tries his best to use his speed and agility to defeat the Avalanche, but the big man's strength and size is too much for the Macho Man - a familiar story, but one that the participants can sink their teeth into. Savage's WCW run is rarely praised as much as his WWE work, but this match shows he still had something left in the tank, especially with the right opponent and the right opportunity to tell a complete story the way he knew he needed to as a babyface - through loads of selling, hope spots, and expert pacing that pulls the viewer in through subtle shifts in momentum, not over-the-top bumps. The arrival of Ric Flair, dressed in drag, robs the audience of what could've been a satisfying clean ending, but it at least keeps Avalanche strong and points to a future program between Savage and Flair. (3/5)

After a video package hyping their rivalry and some words from Sting, we get our second "Anything Goes" match in a row - Big Bubba vs. Sting. Unlike the previous bout, this one starts off cartoonish, with the Stinger (who gets a huge reaction) connecting with a legdrop to Bubba's hat before the actual match even begins. Bubba, who had some great matches with Vader in 94', takes a beating for quite awhile to and looks pretty winded early on, but just when one assumes that Rogers is spent, he takes control of the match and it is Sting who is on the receiving end of all sorts of stomps and strikes. The story of the match revolves around Sting's injured knee, the initial damage coming from a very organic-looking spot that looks like a botch, but seems so integral to the story of the match that it is hard not to view it as a perfectly executed pseudo-flub. As the match continues, we get a handful of cool moments (including an excellent German suplex from Sting) and even some rare submissions out of the heel. Unfortunately, as good as this match, the ending just seems so rushed. By not truly milking Sting's damaged knee as a key factor in the finish, it left me feeling like this bout was a missed opportunity to develop what could have been a strong rivalry. (3/5)

It's Texas Tornado time and I'm not talking Kerry Von Erich - no, this is a non-title Texas Tornado Tag Team Match pitting the WCW World Tag Team Champions Harlem Heat vs. the Nasty Boys. Prior to the match, the Nasty Boys share some intense words, the kind of promo work that is sorely missed in the WWE's overly-scripted product today. The first few minutes of the match don't draw too much interest from the crowd as Harlem Heat's offense is pretty thin. Things pick up a bit as the Nasties take over and start to incorporate the garbage wrestling/weapons-based approach that made their matches against Cactus Jack and Maxx Payne classics. Unlike those masterpieces, though, the violence here is relatively tame, but arguably "funner" - for example, these four (plus Sherri) make an absolute mess of a phony concessions area. Unfortunately, shoddy camera work prevents us from viewing the ending until a replay makes it clear. Not great, but at least you get to watch a wild food fight. (2.5/5)

A fun promo from Vader and Ric Flair segues us into Hulk Hogan defending his WCW World Championship against Vader in a Strap Match. Hogan has his own ally tonight - the debuting Renegade. When Renegade arrives, the pop is huge - no doubt because his music was nearly identical to the Ultimate Warrior's and Hogan had hyped him as his "Ultimate Surprise" to counterbalance Flair outside the ring. The early minutes of the match are dominated by Flair hijinks, who sprints into and around the ring at, drawing much of the crowd's attention from the actual match. This is actually a little unfortunate becase seeing Hogan in a stipulation match is novel and Vader is a great opponent for the Hulkster - powerful and big enough to appear dominate, but agile enough to get a pace going that guys like Andre or Earthquake could not. Hogan's offense lacks stiffness, especially his chair shots, but Vader makes up for it with his energy, ramming himself into the ringpost with reckless abandon at one point. Halfway through, the crowd's excitement begins to taper off due to Hogan's very limited moveset. Wisely, the momentum shifts at this point and Vader takes over again, delivering an excellent chokeslam, splash, and suplex to the Hulkster. Of course, if you've seen one Hogan match, you know that there will be a "Hulk Up" eventually, but I give credit to the bookers for a genuinely surprising false finish. The actual finish goes against the basic rules of any strap match I've ever seen - but things get even worse when the Masked Man returns, followed by Arn Anderson waddling down the aisle. Hokey, overbooked, cartoonish...this match is all of the above...but its also surprisingly fun to watch, the lunacy so laughable that it left a smile on my face. (3.5/5)

With an average match/segment rating of 2.43-out-of-5, UnCensored 95' is a show with considerably more dips than peaks. The first two matches are almost unwatchable and the Television Championship is less entertaining than the promos before it. The midcard is not too terrible, though – Savage/Avalanche and Sting/Bubba may not be Match of the Year candidates, but they’re solid. The final match of the show is not everyone’s cup of tea, with several writers calling it one of the worst matches of all time. I found it exciting and I'm not alone. Dave Meltzer of the trusted wrestling periodical, The Wrestling Observer also gave it a 3.5 star rating. The in-ring work might not be too impressive, but there is something cool, stupid, or in-between happening for every millisecond of its runtime. Whether its Flair, Vader, Hogan, Renegade, or even Jimmy Hart, Arn Anderson, and Randy Savage - someone is holding your attention. UnCensored contains the good, the bad, and the ugly of WCW in one 3-hour package and part of the fun is figuring out what is what.

FINAL RATING – High Risk Maneuever

WCW SuperBrawl V

RATING LEVELS:

Curt Hennig – A “GOAT” show, as Perfect as possible

Watch It – A consistently good show worth watching in its entirety

Watch It…With Remote in Hand – 3 or more above-average ratings

High Risk Maneuver – Mostly filler, inessential, but 1-2 good matches

DUDleyville – Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch

SuperBrawl V - February 1995

Baltimore, Maryland

COMMENTATORS: Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Hulk Hogan is the reigning WCW World Champion, Vader holds the United States Championship, Arn Anderson is the TV Champion, and Harlem Heat are the recognized WCW World Tag Team Champions.

Despite the show starting off mid-match on the WWE Network, Alex Wright vs. Paul Roma still seems 4-5 minutes too long, which has been my knock on pretty much every Alex Wright match I’ve watched. There are distinct moments here when Wright and Roma show a bit of chemistry, but overall, I just don’t care about either guy enough to get pulled into this match – and the live crowd doesn’t seem to either. There’s not even a “Paula” chant when Roma’s tag partner, Mr. Wonderful, shows up. (1/5)

Following this, we get “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan taking on Bunkhouse Buck. This is mostly a straight-up brawl, but Duggan does apply at least a couple arm-bars to give the viewers a little variety. Like the opener, this one longer than it needs to be, with the crowd mostly silent and Duggan doing everything he can to shout them into caring. The finish is decent and the post-match beatdown is effective, though, one does wonder why longtime rival Dustin Rhodes doesn’t make the save considering how much hatred he had towards Colonel Parker’s faction for the majority of 94'. (1/5)

After some words from the Nasty Boys, it is time for a Brother vs. Brother grudge match between Kevin Sullivan and Dave “Evad” Sullivan. Unlike the first two matches on tonight’s show, this one serves storyline purpose as Kevin and Dave had been feuding for months. The Butcher is heavily involved on the outside, which adds some drama to the proceedings, but its not as if the crowd is really coming alive for anything here. What Dave Sullivan lacks are the “little things” that would’ve made his character nuanced and believable, the types of comedy notes that Nick “Eugene” Dinsmore infused in his character (offensive as it was) that made him somewhat tolerable. Dave Sullivan is just a bad wrestler in a bad gimmick. Fortunately, this match doesn’t run too long, though the Butcher milks his role in the finish to a ridiculous degree. (1.5/5)

The WCW World Tag Team Championships are on the line next – Harlem Heat vs. The Nasty Boys. The Nasties have the advantage early on, putting a hurting on the heels, but what is most noticeable about this match compared to their previous bouts is the confidence that Booker and Stevie have in their roles. Having been in the company for awhile now, their work is sharper, more physical, and less apprehensive, particularly for Stevie Ray. Personally, I’ve always felt the Nasties worked far better as heels, and this match doesn’t change my mind, but the Heat do a nice job with their villainy, aided in no small part by their manager, Sister Sherri. When Booker applies a headlock at the midpoint, there is a noticeable lull in the crowd’s excitement, but it’s a well-earned and properly positioned resthold – one that helps build tension and get over how competitive this title match has been rather than bore the audience to tears. Meanwhile, as Sags plays face-in-peril, Knobbs works on the apron to get the crowd to root on, a little thing that makes a big difference in building up to the eventual hot tag. With a contested finish that demands a rematch, this was the match of the night so far. (2.5/5)

The Blacktop Bully vs. Dustin Rhodes is next, the latest continuation of Rhodes’ feud with Colonel Parker. After some postponing by the heels, the match kicks off and it is a considerably more even (and longer) affair than I predicted it would be. There are some noticeable miscommunications, but the crowd is ngaged throughout and Rhodes shows some pep in his offense and selling, enough so that this match slips below average due more to length than performance. To his credit, the Bully keeps up with the youngster as best he could – by this point in his career, Barry Darsow was years removed from his Demolition days and, as Repo Man, was rarely asked to produce 10+ minute matches on TV or PPV. This match doesn't make it seem like a lost opportunity for the WWE. (2/5)

After some promos by Vader and Ric Flair, we get to tonight’s special tag team match – Big Bubba Rogers and the Avalanche vs. Sting and Randy Savage. A match like this is important to watch in context as, on paper, to modern eyes, it would seem like a real bore. At the time, though, this was a fairly hot match, with Savage making his WCW PPV debut and the crowd thoroughly excited about each major spot. In particular, Sting’s Scorpion Death Lock and Stinger Splashes elicit huge responses, but there are also some nice moments when Flair, in the audience, riles up the crowd by taunting the Macho Man. What hurts this match most is that, while the crowd pops at the right moments, the story told is thin and the heels do not come out of it looking very impressive. The imperfect finish and by-the-numbers action keeps this one from leaving a lasting impression. (2/5)

After a series of promos and video clips, it is finally time for our main event – Vader vs. Hulk Hogan for Hogan’s WCW World Championship. Michael Buffer does the intros and the Hulkster gets a pretty sizeable pop from the Baltimore crowd. As Vader no sells him, though, the crowd almost seems to turn on him a bit, marveling and applauding for Vader’s ability to withstand Hogan’s initial offense. Seeing Hogan apply an arm lock is odd, but helps sell the story that Vader is an opponent more dangerous and different than any Hogan has faced before. Unfortunately, this story, sold strongly on commentary by Heenan, is dropped entirely after 4-5 minutes, with Hogan not pulling out any sort of credible offense and Vader working a way less physical, less impressive style than he proved capable of in his matches with Sting and the Big Bossman a year prior. The few stretches where Vader does get to dominate Hogan are the match's high points – a devastating Vader Bomb, a flurry of rights and lefts in the corner, a chokeslam off the ropes all look great. While the finish is inconclusive and anti-climactic, it makes sense and is well executed. Contrary to popular belief, Vader was not “buried” in this match, kicking out of Hogan’s trademark leg drop at 1 and cleanly pinning the Hulkster when the referee was knocked out. Not a great match, but it did have certain moments that were fun. (2.5/5)

With a terrible average match rating of 1.78-out-of-5, SuperBrawl V is the lowest rated show I have reviewed in the dozens and dozens of shows I've watched. To put it in perspective, I enjoyed this show less than Starrcade 94’, which at least a featured a decent Sting/Avalanche match and a show-saving opener between Vader and Jim Duggan. While I wouldn’t call any of the matches on this show as bad as the main event of Starrcade 94’, the majority of this one is dull and instantly forgettable.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville

WCW Clash of the Champions XXX

RATING LEVELS:

Curt Hennig – A “GOAT” show, as Perfect as possible

Watch It – A consistently good show worth watching in its entirety

Watch It…With Remote in Hand – 3 or more above-average ratings

High Risk Maneuver – Mostly filler, inessential, but 1-2 good matches

DUDleyville – Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch

Clash of the Champions XXX – January 95’

Las Vegas, Nevada

COMMENTATORS: Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Hulk Hogan is the WCW World Champion, Vader holds the United States Champion, the Tag Team Champions are Harlem Heat (they defeated Stars n' Stripes on an episode of Saturday Night roughly two weeks before this show), and the Television Champion is "Double A" Arn Anderson.

The show begins with Arn Anderson, accompanied by Colonel Parker and Meng, defending his Television Championship against the former titleholder, Johnny B. Badd. According to Gary Michael Capetta, this match was voted on by WCW's fans, which I'm not sure I trust but I can't disprove. At Starrcade, these two had a decent match, one of Badd's best since the days when he was being paired with Steven Regal. The crowd is firmly behind Badd but its hard not to notice the little things that Anderson does to keep the crowd engaged, cheapshotting his opponent, mocking the fans with sly grins, and using the ropes to get an unfair advantage via chokes. What also helps this match is that Anderson sells Badd's punches in a way that makes it clear that one good punch from the former Golden Gloves boxer would be enough to end the bout, an element that is absolutely key to getting the character over. The finish is smartly crafted and well-delivered, though, as much as I enjoy this match, it really doesn't have the duration necessary to call it anything better than good. (2.5/5)

After some words from Kevin Sullivan and the Butcher, we get one of the highlights of the show - Alex Wright's music video. I love his theme music and this video, which is the near-perfect level of cheesiness. While not quite as "must see" as 2 Cold Scorpio's music video (or the music video of the short-lived tag team of Johnny Gunn and Tom Zenk), it is still pretty awesome. (3.5/5)

This show just earned another point automatically by featuring "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton, one of my all-time favorite workers, even if he is up against the not-as-talented "Das Wunderkid" Alex Wright.  This match was designed to showcase Wright, who has a few high impact moves, but goes to the restholds too early and too often for my taste. As much as I wanted to enjoy this match, it just never clicked for me - Wright's offense is not nearly as impressive as Schiavone tells us and Eaton is just here to bump around. (1.5/5)

Mean Gene hypes the next WCW pay-per-view, SuperBrawl, with its main event of Hogan vs. Vader. Big Van Vader arrives on the scene (without Harley Race) and cuts a good promo, but nothing on the Must See List.

WCW World Tag Team Champions, Stevie Ray and Booker T, Harlem Heat vs. Stars n' Stripes is the scheduled contest - but before Stars n' Stripes arrive, Ric Flair shows up with two women. When the match starts off, Bagwell gets the better of Booker T, and the champions look to be on the ropes. There's a noticeable hiccup a few minutes later between Booker and Patriot, but for the most part, the work in this match is crisp, though unremarkable. What really saves it is the finishing sequence, which is well-shot, well-timed, and well-executed. (2/5)

The Monster Maniacs - Hogan and Savage - are in the back. Hogan kicks things off with another one of his paint-by-numbers promos, passes the mic to Jimmy Hart for a split second, who then hands things over to Mach. It is already noticeable that Hogan's character, unchanged in years, is a creative dead end for the company. Savage, on the other hand, is fresh comparatively because he hasn't been in WCW for as long. 

The Guardian Angel arrives as the guest referee for our next contest - Sting vs. The Avalanche. A poor finish prevented their Starrcade match from "hidden gem" status, so I went into this one hoping for good things. From the start, Sting takes the fight to Avalanche, but loses the upperhand when he attempts to hit the big man with a bodyslam. Though workrate and "fast-paced" would never describe a John Tenta match, what you do get is good selling and good desperation offense out of Sting. The ending of this match is oddly executed, though, with Guardian Angel's turn not necessarily coming off as heelish as it should. Part of the problem is that, prior to the final seconds, the idea that Guardian Angel has sold out to the Faces of Fear is only slightly hinted at when he prevents Sting from gaining an advantage on the outside of the ring. Aside from that, Guardian Angel seems to call things down the middle - which goes against the logic of the final seconds. Not nearly as good as their previous bout, capped off by a finish that does not effectively signal Guardian Angel's transformation into Big Bubba Rogers as well as it could have. (2/5)

Main event time - Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs. The Butcher and Kevin Sullivan. With Vader and Flair sitting in the stands, all one can really think of is how unimportant and weak the Monster Maniacs' tag team opponents are. Hogan and the Butcher start things off, a pseudo-rematch of Starrcade's awful main event. The Hulkster relies on his tried-and-true offense of punches and clotheslines while the Butcher sells like a mannequin, unspirited and mostly just teetering in reaction to the good guys' vanilla movesets. When the Butcher locks in the Sleeper, fans are supposed to be worried for Hogan's well-being, but the Butcher goofs it up anyway, seemingly unaware that to win, he would have to keep the move locked on and wait for the ref to drop Hulk's arm three times. This laughably stupid spot is followed by another laughably stupid one - Savage waking up the Hulkster with an elbow drop from the top. For some reason, the match doesn't end here and we finally get a bump worth noting when Savage is flung over the top rope. Schiavone notes that this should end the match by DQ, but that rule hadn't been upheld for months. In fact, in the previous match, Sting clotheslined the Avalanche over the top rope without any consequence. Sullivan finally gets in the ring and turns Savage into the face-in-peril, which allows for the match's first stretch of good selling and believable offense. The undeniable MVP of the match, Savage's stumbling and bumbling might seem to be a bit over-the-top for some, but I credit him for at least attempting to add drama to a match featuring Butcher, who is just dreadful to watch. Savage's hot tag gets a big cheer, but  not a "monster" one, as most of the audience stays seated. With a serviceable finish, this match isn't a total trainwreck, but contains at least a few moments of god-awfulness. During the post-match, Vader defies the ruling that  he could not have a face-to-face with the champion prior to SuperBrawl. Vader then no-sells some of Hogan's rights and lefts before leveling him with a powerbomb. Hogan heroically gets up from the powerbomb, though, and, with the help of Savage, sends the heels back down the aisle. Oh well - there goes any suspense for SuperBrawl's main event. I would've loved this segment if it would've ended with Hogan beaten down by his challenger, but instead, its the babyfaces who have the last laugh yet again. A terrible way to cap off a terrible match. (0.5/5)

With an average match/segment rating of 2.00-out-of-5, Clash of the Champions XXX, by its brevity, is actually more watchable than it would seem based on the card. Of course, it's not so watchable that I would rewatch it, but this thing is almost passable at times. No match is great, but there are distinct moments when this show really had my attention. The opener is solid, the Tag Titles match has its moments, and Alex Wright's music video is good for a chuckle. The main event, while terrible overall, at least ends with getting to see Hulkster take a powerbomb, something I'm not sure he'd ever been hit with before. I'm tempted to put this at High Risk Maneuver level, but I remember I have a soul and wouldn't want to misguide anyone into firing this up on the Network.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville

WCW Starrcade 94'

RATING LEVELS:

Curt Hennig – A “GOAT” show, as Perfect as possible

Watch It – A consistently good show worth watching in its entirety

Watch It…With Remote in Hand – 3 or more above-average ratings

High Risk Maneuver – Mostly filler, inessential, but 1-2 good matches

DUDleyville – Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch

Starrcade 94’ – December 1994

Nashville, Tennessee

CHAMPIONSHIP BACKGROUNDS: Hulk Hogan is the reigning WCW World Heavyweight Champion heading into tonight’s show. The team of Pretty Wonderful are the WCW Tag Team Champions, Jim Duggan is the reigning US Champion, and Johnny B. Badd is the recognized TV Champion.

COMMENTATORS: Tony Schiavone & Bobby Heenan

Aaron Tippin kicks things off by singing the National Anthem in front of the Nashville crowd. I miss Maxx Payne.

Would you trust your child with this RCA Recording Artist?

Before we get our first match, viewers are treated to a replay of Macho Man's WCW debut. Savage states that he will be at Starrcade for a face-to-face with his longtime frienemy, the Hulkster. This is followed-up by video footage from Hulk's Pro Wrestling Illustrated award press conference.

We kick off with Vader challenging Jim Duggan for the US Championship. I must admit to not having seen much of Duggan's non-WWE output, so I was genuinely surprised at just how physical and stiff he could be, going toe-to-toe with Vader and looking very impressive doing so. What makes this match even better than the physicality is the back-and-forth and nifty false finishes. Each one of Vader's signature moves looks like it SHOULD be the end as Duggan wasn't typically booked as capable of keeping up with most monster heels (he was essentially the "gatekeeper" for Hogan). Harley Race's interference adds an extra wrinkle, but it is the finishing blow that really makes this one worth seeing - you just don't see enough matches end so definitively with such a non-lethal maneuver. It is surprising and believable at the same time and it should be no wonder this match has often been cited as Duggan's best non-Mid-South match ever. (3.5/5)

The Three Faces of Fear make some comments in the back before the next match. Nothing fantastic here, though, I do think John "Avalanche" Tenta is the MVP of the segment for his passionate shouting of Sting's name.

Jean Paul Levesque makes his way to the ring next, essentially doing the same gimmick that Steve Regal was using only "French." His opponent is "Das Wunderkind" Alex Wright, who, to this day, still has one of the coolest entrance songs of all time. This match can be summarized in two words - silence and restholds. The few moments of excitement are stretched incredibly thin with lots of selling and very little by way of high spots to pull the crowd in. From a historical standpoint, I can understand the interest in seeing a very young Triple H make his PPV debut...but the novelty of seeing him in this setting wears off quickly. Too long and not very exciting, this match overstays its welcome and under-impresses. (1/5)

We hear the ring music of the Honky Tonk Man, but instead of having to suffer through a third Badd/Honky match, Arn Anderson arrives in his place to challenge for Johnny B. Badd's Television Championship. The match begins with at a slow, technical pace, very different from the Badd/Honky matches, which I found to be, in the words of Good Ol' JR, "alot of sizzle and no steak." While Anderson relies on some of the same tricks as Honky (rolling outside for "breathers," overselling Badd's patented punches), the difference is that Arn's offense actually looks devastating, from his sinister spinebuster to something as simple as an irish whip to the corner. Badd, meanwhile, always seemed to look better when he had to fight from underneath, when it was obvious that he was outclassed in terms of wrestling knowledge, but could show enough fire to hang in the match (as he did in his series with Regal). As much as I find this match to be an improvement from Badd's last few bouts, it's still not a masterpeice, and wouldn't go on either man's Best Of DVDs. (2/5)

The Nasty Boys vs. Harlem Heat is next in a rematch from Clash of the Champions. This one is hard-hitting, energetic, and physical, with Harlem Heat noticeably improving with each outing. The crowd is into it and Sherri's involvement in the final minutes only adds to a bout that, like other matches on this card, may have been a bit on the long side, but was still pretty good for what it was. (2/5)

Mr. T vs. Kevin Sullivan is a trainwreck. For starters, Mr. T arrives in referee gear inexplicably (especially when you consider he wasn't in referee clothing when he actually refereed the Flair/Hogan match at Halloween Havoc) and, to make matters worse, he seems to have spent more time enjoying Nashville's BBQ than he did training. Dave "Evad" Sullivan makes an unwanted appearance, officially making this one of the worst stretches of 5-10 minutes I can recall. Absolutely awful and unnecessary and you don't even get to hear Dave Sullivan's music, which is usually good for a laugh. The lone bright spot is the post-match beatdown that Kevin gives to his "little brother."(0.5/5)

Thankfully, John "Avalanche" Tenta vs. Sting is next and you have two veterans that know how to work a match and may actually be two of the most underrated talents of the 90s. This match may not have the same marquee value as it would have had 5 years earlier, but there is a "dream match" quality to it and Tenta and Sting deliver by keeping a good pace, selling appropriately, telling an interesting story punctuated by big powerslams from the Avalanche, and adding a believable ref bump that creates suspense for what the outcome will be. On paper, this match may not seem "PPV worthy," but both guys work hard and they pull the crowd in. Unfortunately, the finish is a serious disappointment and one that prevents this bout from being a hidden gem in Tenta and Sting's 90s output. A few more minutes and a clean finish would've made this a possible challenger for match of the night honors. (2.5/5)

It is main event time - Hulk Hogan vs. The Butcher for Hogan's WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Before the match begins, we get a full video recap of Brother Bruti's slow burn turn on his best friend. The funniest part of the storyline may be how many different body types were used to play the Masked Man character. Hogan arrives on the scene with a chair in hand, daring the challenger to step inside the ring with him while Michael Buffer announces the participants. In a bizarre production decision, Hogan's music plays again after Buffer's announcement and even more fireworks go off. Sadly, that is the most exciting part of the match. With an extended sleeper segment that irritates and angers more than it engages, this match does little to differentiate itself from the classic Hogan bouts of his WWE heyday. The eventual arrival of the other two Faces of Fear makes sense, though, his thwarting of them comes off as so effortless it leaves one wondering why the Macho Man even gets involved. The crowd response is huge for Savage and Hogan's reunion, with Tony Schiavone announcing "The Mega-Powers are back again," a bit of a surprising turn of phrase considering this was their name in WWE. Not a good match and not a good enough post-match to lift up the score. (0.5/5)

Fear not, though - the show ain't over! Hogan and Savage are celebrating in the back when the number  one contender, Vader, arrives to challenge the Hulkster. Vader's promo is near-flawless and, for the first time, Hogan actually seems to show a little bit of worry. I've heard some call this one of Vader's best promos, and while I can't point to a better example, I still wouldn't say the segment is so excellently produced that it's worth hunting down. I like the idea of ending the show with clear build to Hogan's next challenger and the pull-apart brawl certainly helped get the bad taste of the main event out of my mouth, but it is a very small cherry on a large shit sundae. (2.5/5)

With an average match/segment rating of 1.81-out-of-5, Starrcade 94' is a downright horrible show and a serious low-point for the company. The main event is practically unwatchable, even for a dyed-in-the-wool Randy Savage mark like myself. Duggan/Vader is clearly the best match on the card and the only one worth viewing, though, Sting/Avalanche might have reached that level with a better finish. The tag bout is average, as is the TV title match, but average doesn't mean much when you consider that WCW expected fans to pay $30 to see this show on pay-per-view. Remember, Starrcade was also WCW's "WrestleMania," the biggest show of the year and one that had, 12 months prior, been headlined by Ric Flair vs. Vader in what some consider the company's best match of the decade. With only one match that I'd recommend worth catching (but still one that features Jim Duggan, not exactly a guy whose work I tend to direct people towards), this show is a chore to get through.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville