WCW BattleBowl 93'

RATING LEVELS:

Curt Hennig – A “GOAT” show, as Perfect as possible

Watch It – A consistently good show worth watching in its entirety

Watch It…With Remote in Hand – 3 or more above-average ratings

High Risk Maneuver – Mostly filler, inessential, but 1-2 good matches

DUDleyville – Zero redeeming qualities, chore to watch

BATTLEBOWL – November 1993

Pensacola, Florida

CHAMPIONSHIP BACKGROUNDS: At this time, Vader was the WCW World Heavyweight Champion while Rick Rude held WCW’s other World Heavyweight Championship, “The Big Gold Belt” or WCW International Championship, the title formerly known as the NWA World Championship. The Nasty Boys held the WCW Tag Team Titles, Dustin Rhodes was the recognized US Champion, and Lord Steven Regal held the TV Championship.

COMMENTATORS: Tony Schiavone & Jesse Ventura

While there had been two previous BattleBowls (held on the Starrcade 92' and 93' PPVs), this is the first (and only) time that the gimmick got its own special pay-per-view event. For those unfamiliar, BattleBowl is a pseudo-tournament that begins with random pairings of wrestlers into 8 tag team matches. The 8 winning teams (16 total wrestlers) then compete in a battle royale for the BattleBowl ring. At the inaugural event, Sting took home the prize, while in 1992, The Great Muta got the victory.

The show begins with “Mean” Gene Okerlund and Ric Flair’s valet (and current wife), Fifi, behind the large lottery wheel, selecting names at “random.” Whether or not the BattleBowl drawings were truly random is a bit of a toss-up if you ask me – I mean, when you look at the drawings, they definitely seem like they SHOULD be random because, if these were the pairings planned, WCW’s Creative Team really shot themselves in the foot with a show that only a masochist could enjoy.

The first match is Cactus Jack and Vader vs. “Native American Superstar” Charlie Norris and Kole (Stevie Ray) of the Harlem Heat. Jack and Vader come in after a lengthy feud, so they immediately begin brawling, but Harley Race is able to get them on the same page eventually. The best part of this contest might actually be the audible groan made by Kane (Booker T) when he learns that his brother is stuck with Charlie Norris as his partner. Jack’s selling makes watching this one bearable, but viewers should also keep their eyes out for a pretty dangerous looking powerbomb from Vader. (2.5/5)

Paul Roma and Erik Watts square off against Johnny B. Badd and Brian Knobbs next. See? If these pairings weren’t a “shoot,” why would WCW make a match featuring not a single guy anybody cares about? Badd could be considered the master of the side headlock, arm drag, and hip toss…but little else. To their credit, all four men work hard to make this tolerable, but with none of them standing as much of a real contender to win BattleBowl, there is no drama or suspense about who wins or loses. To make matters worse, the match goes over 10 minutes when even the competitors’ immediate families would have been happy with 6. (1.5/5)

Meanwhile, a running gag through the show is the disgusting flirting between Okerlund and Fifi. It isn’t funny and it isn’t “so bad-it’s good” either. It’s just awkward.

The Shockmaster and Paul Orndorff vs. Ricky Steamboat and Steven Regal is next. THIS match is the template that BattleBowl should’ve used – the idea that fans will stomach a Shockmaster appearance as long as he is in the ring with three guys that can actually work and draw reactions from the crowd. Orndorff got huge jeers in WCW, Regal was excellent as the loathsome foreigner, and Ricky Steamboat was too capable a worker to be stuck feuding over the Television Title while he could’ve been used in better programs against Vader, Flair, or Sting (face/face feuds were rare, but not unheard of in 93’). The match begins with Steamer and Orndorff, who had great chemistry together, and when Regal steps in, an interesting dynamic between him and Mr. Wonderful plays out. The psychology here makes sense because nobody breaks character – even Steamboat, who stays true to the babyface role even when, in an excellent finish, it leaves him vulnerable to a loss. (3.5/5)

From here, Tony Schiavone hypes next month’s Starrcade, the eleventh edition of the “show that started it all.” We cut to a video of a press conference where Vader is decked out in a full suit with his mask still on. Surreal. “Mean” Gene announces that, despite offers from places as far away as Sao Paulo, Brazil, New Zealand, Chicago, and LA, WCW has decided to hold their biggest pay-per-view ever in Charlotte, North Carolina. Cue Ric Flair, who challenges Vader for his WCW World Championship, putting his career on the line in the process. Vader retorts by running down a list of the guys he has sent packing or seriously injured. Simple and straightforward, this is still a cool segment that has me interested in seeing what will happen at Starrcade. (4/5)

Unfortunately, any good will left from that segment is quickly destroyed by our next contest – Awesome Kong and The Equalizer vs. King Kong and Dustin Rhodes. Rhodes gets a nice pop, the obvious saving grace of this terrible match, but at least it is kept short. Seeing the two 400+ pound Kongs square off SHOULD’VE been a “moment,” but as the two were jobbers who never even came close to sniffing the belts, them coming to blows is the same as watching Joey Maggs square off against Barry Horowitz. (.5/5)

The next match at least has two former WCW World Champions involved – Sting and Jerry Sags vs. Ron Simmons and Keith Cole of the Cole Twins. A loud “We Want Sting!” chant breaks out almost instantly whenever Sting is not in the match, and there is at least a slight hint of something interesting brewing when Simmons and Sting square off, but overall, this one is a bore. Thankfully, after the match, Simmons gets some of his heat back by destroying Keith Cole, which one would think would make him a heel, but the blatant display of poor sportsmanship is actually cheered by the fans. (1/5)

Ric Flair teams with Stunning Steve Austin to take on the team of Maxx Payne and 2 Cold Scorpio next. There is a lot to enjoy in this one, starting with Flair and Austin jawing at each other and going all the way through a very good sequence between Scorpio and the Nature Boy. Both Austin and Flair make Payne look like a monster worth fearing; their bumping is as spirited as their offense. Flair, in particular, looks like he’s having fun out there mixing it up with the younger talent, something that was not apparent in his series with Rude earlier in 93’. Again, like the Shockmaster/Orndorff vs. Steamboat/Regal match, these BattleBowl qualifiers are always good when you have three solid workers out there that can carry a less talented fourth. (4/5)

Marcus Bagwell is forced to team with longtime nemesis Tex Slazenger to take on Rick Rude and Slazenger’s partner, Shanghai Pierce. Rude is coming off a string of lackluster singles matches, but he does show some glimmers of greatness here as he is able to take some breaks in a tag setting. The MVP is undeniably Marcus Bagwell, who takes a pounding for the duration of the contest. The story works really well, though, with Slazenger first refusing to compete against his best friend, but then, as Bagwell gets worn down more and more, begrudgingly accepting that he’ll have to step in if he wants to win BattleBowl. On paper, this match looked like a snooze, but the hard work of everyone involved, especially Bagwell, came through. (3.5/5)

Road Warrior Hawk is forced to team up with Rip Rogers to face The British Bulldog and Kane of Harlem Heat. Before Rogers can even make it to the ring, Hawk destroys him on the entranceway, essentially turning this into a 2-on-1 match. As could be expected, Hawk and Kane (aka Booker T) put in the most time, with Kane even performing a spin-a-rooni to mild applause and Bulldog, for whatever reason, leading the crowd in “LOD” chant from the outside despite it being against his best interest. For what should be a bit of a comedy match, things move a bit too slowly for me, and the finish is downright ridiculous (and counter to any rule of tag team wrestling I’ve ever known). (0/5)

The BattleBowl Battle Royal closes out the show and, like most battle royals, it doesn’t get too interesting until a little over half of the 16 participants have been cleared out. Dustin Rhodes blades on the outside, adding some much needed suspense to the affair. Following his elimination, the eliminations of the Nasty Boys, Rick Rude, and Hawk, we are down to Vader, Flair, Sting, and Steve Austin. At this point, the match becomes a really fun watch, but one that is bogged down by the same questionable execution that mars the first half (wrestlers “saving” eachother from elimination, not attempting eliminations in key opportunities, or being eliminated “cheaply” instead of definitively). Regardless, if you get to the closing stretch, your eyes will be glued to the screen, something few would you expect in a battle royal featuring the likes of The Shockmaster and King Kong. Extra points awarded for the bonus of pushing the Flair/Vader feud properly and keeping your World Champion strong while offering a bit of a “throwback” to SuperBrawl III. (4/5)

On paper, this PPV sounds like a terrible experience to sit through, a slow crawl through a landmine of borebombs, but hidden in here are some surprisingly strong outings from some of WCW’s best workers, which is why the semi-decent score of 2.45-out-of-5 would seem ludicrous at first glance, but completely reasonable when you consider the strength of the performances of Vader, Ric Flair, Steve Austin, Steve Regal, Ricky Steamboat, and Sting, all except two pulling double duty. The fact that this show, which featured no singles matches, no title matches, and “random” pairings of wrestlers that, in some cases, were practically designed to fail, is not the worst WCW pay-per-view of 1993 is a minor miracle. Still, the lows are just too low to recommend this show in its entirety, with the few above average matches still far from classics and meaningless in the grand scheme of WCW’s storylines heading into Starrcade.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville