Sunday, April 1, 2018

WCW SuperBrawl 2000




WCW SuperBrawl 2000
San Fransisco, CA - February 2000

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: At Souled Out, a majority of WCW's titles were vacant - but a month later, we actually had some champions, namely Sid as the WCW World Champion, Jeff Jarrett as United States Champion, Jim Duggan holding the TV Title (which he'd found in a dumpster), and Bam Bam Bigelow as the Hardcore Champion. The WCW Tag Team Titles were held by The Mamalukes, while a new Cruiserweight Champion would be crowned tonight.

COMMENTATORS: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Mark Madden


The show begins with Jeff Jarrett boasting about how he took out Kevin Nash and is now in control of the nWo (I think), which also makes him an authority figure because Nash was commissioner. Makes total sense - like how if John Hinckley had been successful in assassinating Reagan, he would've become President in 1981.

To the ring we go for our opening contest - The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea vs. Lash LeRoux in the finals of the Cruiserweight Championship tournament. The previous titleholders, Madusa and Oklahoma, had driven the value of the title most of the way to the earth's core, so WCW  rebooted the championship. Unfortunately, Rey Mysterio Jr. was injured, Malenko and Eddie Guerrero had just left the company, Jericho had left the previous summer, and I'm not sure if Ultimo Dragon was even signed anymore, so the division was in shambles - hence Iaukea and LeRoux in the finals. Iaukea, who is accompanied by Paisley (the future Mrs. Booker T, Sharmell), was wrestling under a Prince-inspired gimmick but was still nothing special in the ring. Think Velveteen Dream without the charisma, physique, and a good 4-5 inches shorter. LeRoux, meanwhile, was being positioned (at least on commentary) as "Chris Jericho Lite" but had none of Jericho's experience or charisma. As the match goes on, Tenay talks up the future of the division as if to say "We know these two guys suck, but in a few months when everyone's healthy again, it will be better." The most woeful thing about this match is not the tedious wrestling, though, its the officiating. Paisley is on the apron for what seems like the whole second half of the match and the ref doesn't even attempt to have her go back to the floor. Sloppy all around, heatless match. (1/5)

Cut to backstage where Norman Smiley is getting his ribs taped up before his match. We also see a locked door, the big question being who is behind it...

The WCW Hardcore Championship is on the line next with Bam Bam Bigelow defending the strap against Brian Knobbs. In late 98', when Bigelow debuted in WCW, he was mega over and his initial feud with Goldberg was red hot. The Jersey Triad stable with DDP was mostly a miss (at least to me), but its failure had more to do with Page being miscast as a heel than Bigelow not delivering. After the stable's dissolution, Bigelow was put into the burgeoning hardcore division but wasn't the focal point he probably should've been. Even this match is more about Knobbs love/hate/mentor/mentee relationship with Fit Finlay than it is about Bigelow. Your basic brawl that starts backstage and then makes its way into the ring featuring lots of standard weapons and a table spot. There was a time when hardcore matches were something special, but in 2000, they had become so commonplace, predictable, and heatless that they were just filler. This match doesn't even last 5 full minutes. Meaningless. (1/5)

Team Package is backstage. Flair was now serving as Lex Luger's manager, with Miss Elizabeth in tow as well. 

Next up is actually one of the more surprisingly watchable matches on the card - 3 Count vs. Norman Smiley in a hardcore handicap match. If you're keeping count, by the way, we're three matches in and we've already had 2 hardcore matches. 3 Count was Evan Karagias (his real name!), Shannon Moore, and Shane Helms and got great heat for their boy band gimmick, which was actually timely in 2000. Seriously, WCW was 99% garbage at this point, but 3 Count was a good act and they could deliver high spots, so, yeah, I'm saying they might have been the best part of the company at this particuar time. The gymnastics and crazy high-risk maneuvers start early and while these sorts of matches are the definition of a "spotfest," Smiley is hilarious and gets great reactions for his schtick too. A loud "3 Count Sucks" chant can be heard for much of the match, but there also audible "awws" when they hit their signature moves. I could've stood to watch another 5 minutes of this, but I guess they needed more time for Booker T vs. Ahmed Johnson, right? Or Luger/Hogan? An early candidate for match of the night. (2.5/5)

We continue to cut back to a closed door where a mystery man is supposedly waiting for his moment. Something tells me this will be a disappointment...

The Demon takes on The Wall next. This was famously billed as a "special main event" despite happening in the middle of the show and having zero build because KISS had signed a contract that stated that their wrestler avatar would only wrestle in main event matches. On the Network, The Demon's entrance music is some shitty blues rock, but I wonder if they actually used real KISS music back then. Did you know that The Demon, aka Dale Torborg, went on to marry Asya? I didn't. Anyway, at the start of the match, The Demon goes searching for The Wall, who, for some reason, sneak attacks him. Shouldn't The Wall, this supposed monster, not need to deceive his opponent with a trick non-entrance? Whatever. Torborg isn't great, but he's surprisingly not terrible and maybe even could've had a chance at a career if he hadn't been saddled with one of the worst gimmicks ever. Audible "Boring" chants within the first minute despite these guys doing every single move they know to try to win them over. The Wall goes to the top rope because nobody bothered to teach him psychology and nearly breaks his neck getting press slammed (really more like hiptossed) off of the buckle. The Wall hits a chokeslam for the win soon after. At least this didn't go too long. (0.5/5)

This next match is INSANE - Tank Abbott vs. Big Al in a "Skins" match. The objective of the match is to beat up your opponent to the point that you can then climb up and grab a leather jacket on a pole. Simple enough, right? Well, its also a "strap" match in a sense as Abbott and Big Al put a belt around the right hands at the start of the match and just level each other with stiff left hands. It is actually hard to watch at times as they rock each other with un-pulled punches. Abbott ends up selling a forearm shot like a gunshot (and, to be fair, the punch is heinous enough to disconnect them). Big Al has the match sewn up, but instead of taking the W, he adds insult to injury by literally stepping on Tank's face, which seems like a weird stunt they just decided would be a cool visual (but might have actually legitimately pissed Abbott off). Abbott then "hulks up" and destroys his longtime friend/training partner. He attempts to carry him up the buckles in a feat of strength but (accidentally?) drops Big Al several feet onto the arena floor. Al, probably not being a trained wrestler, looks like he almost dies. A trainer comes out to check on Big Al and then Tank Abott, who, by the way, has been letting obscenities fly throughout the whole match, pulls a friggin' knife on the guy. They quickly cut away and Schiavone famously downplays that Abbott threatened to murder Big Al by wondering if he was only trying to cut Big Al's beard (Big Al was clean shaven). This is getting 4 stars because it is so goddamn crazy, it qualifies as a genuine must watch. I almost want to give it a full 5. (4/5)

Backstage, Stevie Ray, Biggs (formerly Clarence Mason of Nation of Domination fame), and Big T (formerly Ahmed Johnson) cut a promo about how Booker T turned his back on the hood. This sets up the next match - Booker (no T) vs. Big T. Booker comes out to corny Andy Griffith Show music because Harlem Heat Incorporated owned the rights to the classic Harlem Heat theme (and also the rights to the letter T, which Booker was no longer permitted to put at the end of his name). Speaking of Booker, he does everything he can to make this match watchable, but Big T moves like a sack of flour. Its not just that Big T had put on some weight since his Ahmed Johnson heyday, its that he seems to have also torn both hamstrings and accidentally filled his boots with wet sand. Just as Booker T is about to score the pinfall victory, the lights go out and....and...and I'm guessing that because the guy that shows up is the size of a refrigerator, the lights stay out for so long because it took him that long to get onto the apron. The unnamed monster distracts Booker T, allowing Big T to hit his Pearl River Plunge for the win. A little bit of internet sleuthing reveals that the mystery man, eventually introduced as Cassius, was one of the No Limit Soldiers (4x4) during their brief run in the company, and has since become a celebrity bodyguard. So, yeah, chalk this entire angle and the finish as another one of those head-scratching moments where Stevie Ray (and his team of fellow undertalents) was, for whatever reason, given a push while Booker T was made to look weak. Terrible match with a needless finish to prolong a feud that nobody wanted to see. (1/5)

The Maestro cuts a promo backstage about Ernest Miller. I can't place my finger on it, but there's something about The Stro's promos that I really like.

A video package runs down the recent rivalry between Vampiro and Billy Kidman before their match. In terms of in-ring action, this is the first match of the show that's actually really competitive and hard-hitting, with both Vampiro and Kidman busting out some impressive offense. Not everything in this match is perfectly executed (which was kind of Vampiro's M.O), but both guys are over and they're working hard, which is commendable compared to so many of the other guys featured on this broadcast. On the negative side, the involvement of Torrie Wilson muddies things up a little bit for no reason; her involvement happens in the first half of the match, which means it doesn't really play into the finish, and because the match is essentially a face/face match, its not like the noticeably telegraphed bump she takes adds to the drama. Vampiro hits an awesome release powerbomb towards the end for 2, but then eats an inverted DDT from the top rope in an abrupt end to a match that should've gone longer. (3/5)

What makes the next match a Sicilian Stretcher Match and not just a regular stretcher match? Answer: the involvement of the Mamalukes, Big Vito and Johnny The Bull. Their opponents are Crowbar and David Flair, the former WCW World Tag Team Champions. Another junk brawl on a show that's already featured multiple junk brawls and still has a Deathmatch to go. The most enjoyable thing about this is watching David Flair get beaten up. For some reason, Charles Robinson and Micky Jay (?) wheel Flair to the back (eliminating him from the match) when I think every other stretcher match in history ends when a wrestler wheels their opponent to the back. Russo had left the company by this point so you can't blame him for screwing with the traditional Stretcher Match rules. There are noticeable times in this match where a big spot is prepped and before it can be executed, the wrestler either taking the bump or delivering the move has to get their bearings before they execute it, their trepidation really stunting the action at inopportune times. Hmmm, maybe thats because not every guy on the roster is cut out for diving through tables or garbage brawls? The Mamalukes win the match  after taping their opponents to stretchers and having the referees wheel them out of the arena. They kidnap Daffney before they leave. Not Wrestlecrap, just crap. (1/5)

After a promo from Sid, it is time for another somewhat infamous segment - Ernest Miller and The Maestro's bet. Miller has been claiming for weeks that James Brown would be in attendance, but because the commentary team had played up how much of a liar and cheat Miller was, most people believed there was no way James Brown was going to appear. Miller cuts a promo about nobody believing him and insults the crowd. A fake James Brown appears and the crowd is not happy. The Maestro comes out to end all this foolishness. Maestro's mic skills/promo abilities are bizarre, but what might be even more bizarre is the actual James Brown's entrance into the arena. First, a group of weird Old Navy ad dancers strut out and then Brown, after a lengthy pause, shows up with his own crew of hanger-ons in tow. The Stro passes out in the ring from shock as James Brown gets a huge response and he and The Cat do some dancing in the center of the ring (which makes The Cat seem like a babyface). The angle makes little sense - Did Cat know or not know Brown was there? If he did know, why would Cat bring out a fake James Brown? If he didn't know, why would James Brown befriend Ernest Miller after he'd just mocked him with an overweight imposter? Why have Ernest Miller run down the audience at the start of the segment if you're going to end the segment with him getting face pops? As this isn't a match, its not going to get a rating, but as it is a memorable moment, its getting an extra point for the show. (+1)

Ric Flair cuts an excellent promo before his Deathmatch against Terry Funk. Funk is seconded by Dustin Rhodes, who looks to be in worse shape than the participants in the actual match. Considering their respective ages, Flair and Funk move pretty well and they put in great effort, but the crowd just doesn't care enough. Part of the problem might be that Funk and Flair actually work this with good psychology - which makes it the opposite of every other match on this card, especially the other hardcore matches where practically nothing was sold by anyone. For example, after taking a suplex on the arena floor in the early going, Flair eats a pinfall (knowing he has an additional 10 seconds to break the count before Funk wins). This makes strategic sense as taking a pinfall loss costs you less energy than symbolically kicking out. In practice, however, this subtlety is not easy to get across without the aid of commentators, so the live crowd is understandably cool on the match. Plus, with a 10-count needed to end the match, there is significantly less opportunity for fans to bite on nearfalls - you've either incapacitated your opponent or you haven't. Surprisingly, Flair shows some restraint by not slicing his forehead open, but Funk gets some color on his chest from Flair's stiff chops. The crowd comes around by the end, especially for the best spot of the match - a piledriver onto a table from Funk to Flair that harkens back to their legendary 80s rivalry. The actual finish is a letdown comparatively and doesn't necessarily make much sense considering that the victor looks like he's taken much more of a beating than the loser. In terms of overall performance, this is probably the match of the night - too bad the crowd didn't seem to see it that way and were more excited by a James Brown sighting. (3/5)

Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan is next and really comes across like a match from an alternate universe where the entire nWo angle never ran. Hogan, back to being managed by Jimmy Hart (who is noticeably wearing one his Hulkamania-themed jackets from 95'), is sporting a cast but instead of building this match around Hogan getting an initial flurry before Luger attacks his damaged limb, the opposite happens: Luger gets manhandled for the majority of the match and, unprovoked, Hogan starts using the cast to his advantage like he was Bob Orton. Based on commentary we're supposed to view this as Hogan using his "Hollywood" skill set to exact revenge on Luger, but its really no different than when he used to use the American flag to choke out Sgt. Slaughter. Hogan gets the relatively clean victory in under 10 minutes, but Flair shows up during the post-match to put the boots to him. Sting makes the save, returning after what I read was months or weeks off of TV. Someone should've told the crowd that because the pop isn't that big, which is extra sad because, in 99', Sting was one of the more consistently good performers and was actually getting decent reactions before they inexplicably turned him heel. (2/5)

Main event time - Sid defending the WCW World Championship against Scott Hall and Jeff Jarrett, both of the nWo. Hall is the most over guy in this match, but that's not saying much when you consider how cold the roster was. The match begins before Sid even comes in, which actually makes some storyline sense as neither Hall or Jarrett need to pin the champion to win the title. When Sid does make his way down the aisle, he dominates and the ref goes down. Uh-oh, here comes the bullshit. Over the next 5 minutes, at least two more referees also get taken out and the shenanigans just pile up with the Harris Brothers and a chair and, eventually, Slick Johnson and a guitar all get thrown into the mix. Hall hits his finish on Jeff Jarrett and basically has the title won - but Johnson won't make the count, which draws huge jeers from the crowd. Why do that spot with Hall when its Sid you want as your ace babyface? Roddy Piper, also returning after a lengthy absence (he was the mystery man in the locked dressing room it seems) comes out to finally take control of this match, making the count for Sid after he delivers a chokeslam to Double J and powerbombs Hall. This match could never be called boring, but it could also never be called "good," with the WCW World Championship really having no credibility at this point and desperately needing it. Having it defended in such gimmicky, overbooked matches was not the right call, though, its not like WCW had many options after the Radicalz left and the Hitman and Goldberg went down with injury. (1.5/5)


The Sid push in 99'/00' is interesting to think about in the sense that, to a certain degree, he is actually living the Goldberg Title Reign that WCW struggled to deliver in 98' and 99'. Though Sid's win/loss record from this time wasn't great (in fact, he'd lost to Goldberg and Benoit in high profile matches during this run), the booking around him consistently presented him as the biggest, baddest dude on the block - a guy that could only be beaten through screwy interference or crooked refs. Goldberg, at his peak, was protected similarly, but after Starrcade 98', the company lost focus with him (see the feud with Rick Steiner, for example) and he never truly recovered. Goldberg became just another guy on the roster. Sid, meanwhile, benefitted from the decimation, through bad booking or injury, of the rest of the roster as he became, by default, the most over guy on the roster.

SuperBrawl 2000 is not a good show, but its just weird enough to not be terrible. As crazy as it may sound, there are actually a few decent matches (3 Count/Smiley, Kidman/Vampiro, and Funk/Flair) and I'd consider the Abbott/Big Al match to be a "must watch" based on its sheer lunacy. It is just a jaw-dropping 10 minutes. The Ernest Miller/James Brown segment is less important than many publications/writers/podcasters have claimed in the years since, often citing it as a textbook example of WCW's ineptitude. To me, whats confounding about the segment is not the fact that WCW secured Brown but failed to advertise him (in 2000, I just don't think advertising Brown was going to bring in a single additional PPV buy for this company), but that the segment itself doesn't make much sense. The rest of the card is basically shit, weighing down the show's Kwang Score to 1.95-out-of-5, which is actually the highest score WCW has earned since Slamboree 99', close to 10 months earlier.

FINAL RATING - High Risk Maneuver 

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