WWE Royal Rumble 2004

WWE Royal Rumble 2004

Philadelphia, PA - January 2004

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into the show, Brock Lesnar held the WWE Championship while Triple H was the World Heavyweight Champion on the RAW brand. The Intercontinental Championship was held by The Game's Evolution stablemate, Randy Orton, while the World Tag Team Titles were held by the rest of Evolution - Ric Flair and Batista. Molly Holly was the Women's Champion. On SmackDown, the Basham Brothers were the WWE Tag Team Champions and The Big Show held the United States Title.

COMMENTARY: Ross, Lawler, and Coachman (RAW), Michael Cole and Tazz (SmackDown)

In the opening contest of our show, Ric Flair and Batista defend the World Tag Team Championships against The Dudleys in a Tables Match. Flair does practically all the work in this match as Batista is adequately protected by having just a handful of spots and mostly spending time selling on the outside of the ring. I wish there would have been a few more teases of someone going through a table as this match just didn't tell any kind of story until Coachman came in to interfere. A less than average table match that ends with a single table spot (even the King seems a bit confused as to why both Dudleys don't have to be put through tables, which I too thought was the norm). (1.5/5)

John Cena cuts a promo by spitting some rhymes about winning the Royal Rumble and gets interrupted by Rob Van Dam momentarily. I know some people have a real soft spot for Cena's rapper gimmick, but its equally as corny as anything else Cena has ever done.

Rey Mysterio Jr. defends the Cruiserweight Championship next against Jamie Noble (who is accompanied by his "blind girlfriend," Nidia). Noble tries to keep Mysterio grounded early, which doesn't make for the funnest start to the match, but once Mysterio starts flying, the crowd lives up and this match starts to deliver the sequences one would expect from two guys of this caliber. Sadly, just as it is getting good, it wraps up after some mistaken interference by Nidia. I would've loved to see these guys actually go 4-5 more minutes before that spot as it would've felt even more devastating for Noble. (1.5/5)

A video package airs next chronicling the rise and fall of Los Guerreros, the team dissolving after losing the titles to The Bashams. Unlike in WCW, though, where Eddie was always the heel when they were feuding, the WWE made Chavo the villain, which was a really wise move in retrospect (even if Eddie was, arguably, a much better heel). 

Back to the ring we go where Chavo Guerrero (with Chavo Guerrero Sr. as his second) makes his way down the aisle to Eddie's old WCW music. I'm a sucker for "brother" matches as I'm always interested in what two guys who grew up dreaming of having a big spotlight match against each other will do when that opportunity arises. I like that this match doesn't start off as a heated brawl - they're family and Eddie wants to outwrestle his nephew to start. Then, Chavo ups the ante and eventually just goes after Eddie with stiff rights and lefts that Eddie refuses to return, opting instead to use an arm bar to subdue his opponent. Chavo attempts the 3 Amigos, but can't pull it off. Eddie ends up hitting the trio of suplays and connecting with his Frog Splash for the clean win. The crowd chants "Eddie," rooting him on as he exacts even more revenge on Chavo Classic and "Chavito" (who gets busted open to add even more drama to the scene). Remember what I wrote above about how clever it was to have Chavo be the heel and Eddie the face for once? Well, the post-match segment basically reverses that - or at least seems intended to reverse it - as the live crowd goes from cheering Eddie to crossing their arms and going quiet for his exit. Like the prior match, this one seemed to be progressing nicely but then just sort of ended. (2/5)

Chris Benoit gets interviewed by Josh Matthews, whose tips are so frosted they bring down the temperature in the room. Ric Flair interrupts them, ranting and raving about the greatness of Evolution before telling Benoit that, while he's maybe the greatest technical wrestler alive, he always "places 2nd." Back at the commentary table, Tazz seconds Flair's sentiments, reminding fans that Benoit can't win "the big one."

Before the next match, Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly for Lesnar's WWE Championship, a video airs reminding fans of their history. It all started in September 2002 when Lesnar legitimately broke Holly's neck with a not-so-precise powerbomb. Holly returned over a year later seeking justice, promising to break Brock's neck. Holly is in incredible (maybe synthetic?) shape and goes right after Lesnar before the bell can even ring, a nice touch for this deeply personal match. Holly immediately goes for Lesnar's upper body, but an unwise decision to go to the top costs him and Lesnar takes control with a snap suplex. Lesnar straps Holly into a bodylock soon after and this match, which started out so physical and exciting, is now looking more like a dull squash. Lesnar hits one of his patended moves that he doesn't bust out anymore - the fisherman/high cradle backdrop - and then goes right back to the bodylock. Holly fights his way out but Lesnar tosses him with an overhead belly-to-belly...before going back to a resthold with the rear-naked choke. Again Holly fights out, this time delivering a whole sequence of high impact offense including a vicious clothesline, pitch-perfect dropkick, and then his finisher, the Alabama Slam. Still not happy, Holly costs himself what could've been a victory by attempting to break Lesnar's neck with a full nelson. Lesnar makes it to the ropes, but Holly refuses to let go, grapevining Lesnar and eventually even rolling to the floor on top of him. Holly is forced to break the hold, but keeps trying to lock it in, eventually costing himself the match when Lesnar is able to hiptoss him and then take him out with an F-5. In his book, Holly doesn't seem too happy with this match and, from a booking/backstage/business perspective, that is completely understandable as this was basically proof that he'd never be given a real push into the main event. That being said, I found this to be a pretty good match at times (basically whenever they weren't just on the mat trying to work bodylocks and chokes). (2.5/5)

Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H for The Game's World Heavyweight Championship in a Last Man Standing match was next, these two now wrestling in their third major stipulation match since SummerSlam 02' (fourth if you count the first Elimination Chamber). JR and The King take back over on commentary and run down these two's history as if anybody couldn't have been aware of it by now. Say what one may about these two's matches, which were undoubtedly full of "vanity moments" and often went well past the runtime that any other performers were permitted to work, but the big spots/moments were undeniably dramatic. The first big spot is an awesome crossbody from Michaels through an announce table that (inexplicably) also leads to a huge gash on Michaels' forehead, which had become a trademark of Shawn's just as much as it was Ric Flair's 20 years earlier. I'm not sure if Michaels' infatuation with blood from 2002 onward was tied to Christ imagery, but his willingness to slice his head open for every RAW PPV was kind of weird and unnecessary. Triple H begs Michaels to stay down, but Shawn continues to fight back with everything he's got. After planting HBK with a spinebuster, Triple H grabs a chair and clobbers Michaels with it. Shawn pulls himself up, all the while selling spaghetti legs. Triple H attempts a Pedigree on the chair, but Michaels counters and Triple H's head bounces off the steel inside. He then slingshots him into the corner and Triple H is dazed on the mat. Michaels lands a chairshot of his own and now The Game is wearing a crimson mask too. As Michaels proceeds to deliver a stretch of signature moves, the crowd comes alive for him, stomping along as he gears up to hit Sweet Chin Music. Before he can connect, though, Triple H strikes him with a low blow, a somewhat obvious counter to the move but not one the WWE exploited very often (or at all before?). Once both men are back on their feet, Michaels applies a sleeper and we get quite a visual with boys just absolutely covered with blood. I think the crowd might've expected more weaponry in this match, maybe even some thumbtacks to harken back to Triple H's LMS match against Foley from years prior, and I must admit to thinking we'd at least have more action outside of the ring. After Michaels is able to reverse a back suplex into a crossbody from the top, Triple H manages to connect with his patented Pedigree for a 9 count. Michaels hits Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere, but both men are down! The crowd counts along, but neither man answers the 10 count, Earl Hebner announcing that the match has been declared a draw - and that Triple H has retained his World Heavyweight Championship. The crowd starts chanting "bullshit," which is justifiable and I'm sure was even expected when they booked that finish (considering the show is in Philly). Its actually a wise move too as it allows Michaels to demand a title match for WrestleMania and also primes the audience to become unglued for the eventual winner of tonight's Royal Rumble. A more definitive finish would obviously have made this a better match, but for what it is, and the business they needed to do, its effective and entertaining (even if its a bit hard to watch at times). (3/5)

The 2004 Royal Rumble is next, but before it can start, Eric Bischoff shows up just to run down the Philly favorite, Paul Heyman. Heyman comes out swinging and the two start brawling in the ring, only to be interrupted by Sheriff Steve Austin! Austin is still mega over and stuns both of the General Managers before enjoying some ice cold brews. 

Back to the backstage area we go to get a quick word out of Goldberg. Brock Lesnar prevents him from speaking, mocking him for losing his title. Goldberg promises that he's going to win the Rumble and get his title back at WrestleMania before spooking The Beast by mentioning Hardcore Holly...

At the commentator's table, Tazz and JR discuss the fact that Mick Foley has not yet shown up at the Rumble and that, by not showing up, JR must admit that Foley is a coward...

Main event time: The 2004 Royal Rumble. Chris Benoit comes in at #1 to a mild response while Randy Orton, the reigning Intercontinental Champion, comes out at #2. A minute passes and out comes Mark Henry with his manager Teddy Long. Tajiri is #4 and the audience reacts like one would expect for a 3-time Cruiserweight Champion in the Rumble - very little. At least with Tajiri in the ring we actually get some decent action in the form of some nasty Benoit germans. Bradshaw, still in his APA gimmick, comes in at #5 and hits a series of ridiculously stiff clotheslines on everyone except Benoit, who uses his quickness to counter it into a Crossface and then, miraculously, counter the future JBL's elimination attempt to send Bradshaw outside of the ring. Rhyno arrives at #6 and goes right after his rival Benoit. I would've expected a bigger response for Rhyno based on his time in ECW, but I'm guessing the fact that he was a heel is why his entrance got such a cold reaction. Tajiri and Henry end up on the floor in rapid succession and we're back to just three guys in the ring. Matt Hardy is out next, JR noting that Matt Hardy has been working on trying to break through on RAW as of late. "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner is #8 and he comes in much like Bradshaw did, clotheslining everyone in sight. Steiner follows up his initial attack with a variety of suplexes, but ends up eating a couple himself once Benoit gets a hold of him. JR notes that there are 0 former Rumble winners in this match, which is an interesting stat. In fact, I'd be curious to see if this is only Rumble of the  00s where that is true. Matt Morgan comes in and powerbombs Benoit. Tazz and JR talk up Morgan who, certainly in sheer size and look, stands out as a "can't miss" prospect. The Hurricane arrives at #10 and hits a big crossbody on Hardy before trying to combat Morgan who ends up launching him to the outside like a lawn dart. Morgan tries to eliminate Matt Hardy as well, but Hardy's feet don't touch the ground and he rolls back into the ring. Booker T is in at #11 and he and Steiner go at it as JR notes their history from WCW. I'm surprised Steiner is still in the ring as he does not move well at all. #12 is Kane, his entrance getting the camera's attention as Steiner gets eliminated right as the arena fills with red flames. Kane lays practically everyone out as the clock winds down and #13 comes out...or doesn't...? The Undertaker's music hits and the lights go down, distracting Kane for long enough to Booker T to eliminate him and then, instead of the Deadman, Spike Dudley shows up. Before Dudley can enter the ring, Kane chokeslams him on the entrance ramp. Rikishi and Rene Dupree come in while Mark Henry and Matt Hardy get eliminated. Rikishi superkicks Dupree out of the ring in a crowd-pleasing spot and we're down to Kishi, Booker T, Orton, Morgan, and Benoit. Next out is A-Train, another 300-pounder with absolutely no chance of main eventing WrestleMania. Benoit eliminates Morgan while Orton dumps Rikishi and then Booker T in rapid succession. I wasn't watching RAW at the time so I'm not sure how much they hyped Orton as a potential Mania winner, but they definitely should've as he has had an incredible showing so far. #17 is Shelton Benjamin, one half of the World's Greatest Tag Team. While Benjamin runs down to the ring, A-Train gets eliminated, though the footage isn't even shown. Orton knocks Benjamin out too and we're back down to just Benoit and Orton. Ernest Miller comes out at #18, his entrance announced by his personal announcer Lamont. Miller's WWE theme music is really familiar and catchy...oh wait, they used it again for Brodus Clay 10 years later. Orton and Benoit toss both The Cat and Lamont out of the ring and go right back to beating each other up, the crowd booing as Orton gets the upperhand. The bell sounds and out comes #19, Kurt Angle, to a huge ovation. Rico gets the opposite reaction at #20. With 10 spots left, this has really been one of the more underwhelming, uneventful Rumbles I've ever seen. Orton hits the RKO and tosses Rico. The horn sounds and Test comes out at #21...or not. Cut to backstage where Test has been attacked by someone that Steve Austin is yelling at. That person is now #21 and that person is...Mick Foley! Foley and Orton come to blows and the crowd goes crazy for the Hardcore Legend! Foley eliminates Orton (and himself) with his clothesline over the top rope spot as the crowd chants "Foley!" in the best moment of the Rumble so far. As Foley chokes out Orton with a TV cord outside the ring, Christian arrives at #22. The crowd is still focused on Foley, who tries to use the stairs, but ends up bashed in the brain twice by Orton with two of the sickest chair shots I've seen recently. Really there's no reason Foley shouldn't be protecting himself from those. Orton and Foley brawl up the ramp as the bell sounds and Nunzio comes out at #23. Foley puts Socko on Nunzio, but this gives Orton the chance to hit a low blow and escape to the back. Nunzio refuses to enter the ring for whatever reason as Benoit and Christian work to eliminate Angle. Next in is The Big Show, the biggest man in the Rumble. Jericho enters at #25, and while Big Show looks to be a bit on the pudgy side, Jericho is as lean as he ever looked. Charlies Haas enters at #25 (?). Jericho eliminates his buddy Christian as the clock winds down. "Mr. Ass" Billy Gunn enters at #27, so it seems like I've lost track of the numbers somewhere along the line. This match served as Gunn's return after several months and his "Ass Man" entrance music tells you everything you know about his chances of main eventing WrestleMania. "The Doctor of Thuganomics" John Cena comes out at #28 to a decent-sized response, but definitely nothing compared to what he'd receive every year from this year forward. Cena tosses Nunzio in the ring, but ends up on the receiving end of a beatdown from the FBI leader and The Big Show. Rob Van Dam comes in at #29 and the ring is back to being relatively filled. Cena hits an F-U on Angle, but isn't wise enough to position himself by the ropes to eliminate him with the move. Goldberg comes out at #30 and gets a massive reaction, probably the biggest of any save Foley. The fans are on their feet now, awaiting the thrilling conclusion to this match. Goldberg's presence has definitely added some intensity to the match and the crowd approves of him getting rid of the chaff from the wheat. Brock Lesnar shows up, though, and hits Goldberg with an F-5! Well, there's your WrestleMania signal. Goldberg doesn't really sell the move for long, though, pulling himself up by the ropes and calling Lesnar a son of a bitch. Angle dumps Goldberg and we're down to six men. Everyone teams up to eliminate Big Show, but he shoves them all off in a big power spot. Van Dam, Jericho, Cena, and Benoit all hit some signature high flying offense on Big Show leading to Angle trying to orchestrate his elimination. Big Show resists, though, and tosses Cena, who lands rather gingerly on his ankle. Big Show then tosses Van Dam and tries to toss Jericho too, but Y2J skins the cat. Jericho continues to go after his future tag partner, but Show just won't go over. Jericho hits a bulldog from the corner and applies the Walls of Jericho to weaken the big man. Angle breaks it up, though, and now its Jericho and Angle battling by the ropes. Big Show lifts Jericho up in a chokeslam and then just drops him outside the ring with ease. Big Show chokeslams Benoit and then goes after Angle too, pushing him over to the ropes. Angle manages to get Big Show up in the Angle Slam, though its definitely labored. Angle hits a better one on Benoit and the Olympic Gold Medalist takes off his straps. Big Show tries to catch him with a chokeslam, but Angle counters it into an Ankle Lock. Big Show is able to get to the ropes and uses his leg strength to slide over the top rope and onto the apron, bringing Angle over with him and to the floor. I like that elimination. We're down to Show and Benoit. Show is on the apron, but Benoit headbutts him back into the ring in a rare instance of non-psychology. He then locks him into the Crossface as Tazz notes that Big Show has now tapped 3 times in this match - a point that does no favors to the eventual loser of this match. Show is on his feet and falls back onto Benoit, both guys hitting the mat with a thud. Big Show is back up first and he lifts Benoit up in a press. Benoit fights back, though, locking Big Show in a front facelock and essentially pulling him, headfirst, over the top rope! Benoit has finally won the big won! While its hard to rate battle royals, even Rumbles, I'd call this one sub-average just because of the lack of starpower and the fact that they had telegraphed the finish all night. Also, oddly, the Philly crowd, which one would expect to be molten hot for Benoit and RVD and other ECW alumni doesn't really sound all that enthused by anyone other than Foley and Goldberg. A bigger reaction, like the ones common for Rumbles today, would have really helped. (2/5)


If you're a Benoit mark, I can see the appeal of watching this show's main event and reliving a time when celebrating the Crippler's in-ring greatness wasn't shameful. That being said, I don't think Benoit fans would rate this performance as one of his best and would likely steer you more towards his outing at the 2003 Royal Rumble. The rest of the card is a bit disappointing as Michaels and Triple H eat up airtime that, if given to Mysterio/Noble or the Guerreros match, would've made those feel much more meaningful. With a Kwang Score of 2.08-out-of-5, the 2004 Royal Rumble is not one worth a rewatch...

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville