WWE Armageddon 2003

WWE Armageddon 2003

Orlando, FL - December 2003

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into the show, Goldberg is the reigning World Heavyweight Champion, Rob Van Dam is the Intercontinental Champion, The Dudleys are the World Tag Team Champions, and Molly Holly was the Women's Champion.

COMMENTATORS: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

The show begins with Lillian Garcia singing the National Anthem. The crowd is super into this because, that weekend (maybe even that day), the US had captured Saddam Hussein. 'Merica! 

A surprisingly strong Mark Henry/Booker T match kicks things off. This is a great example of how a red hot crowd can really elevate an average match into something special as Booker T is mega over and by the time we get to the near falls, the crowd is biting on every one. Mark Henry looks better than here than he had in the years prior, slowly putting together the pieces that would eventually all come together during his Hall of Pain years a decade a later. Booker T is the star here, though, a guy not known for being able to carry his opponents doing everything he can to showcase Henry's strength and his own resilience (and quickness) and succeeding. Good match that I've seen get totally trashed by other reviewers. Personally, I think exceeding expectations is always better than delivering a good match when a great one is expected. (3/5)

Backstage, Jericho and Christian complain to Co-General Manager Eric Bischoff. I don't remember all the details but this was during the Jericho/Christian/Trish angle and Jericho was already planting seeds for a face turn. They're interrupted by...

Mick Foley! Austin had to leave his Co-Manager position after his team lost at Survivor Series in November, but Foley was put into power and his chief aim was to bring Austin back. He gets a cheap pop for saying he's in Orlando and then announces that his petition to bring back Austin has a million signatures. He welcomes a guest to help him celebrate and out comes Stacy Keibler in a cheerleader outfit. Her entrance music is Kid Rock singing ZZ Top's "Legs," which continues to play as she does some high kicks and cartwheels. The celebration is interrupted by Randy Orton and Ric Flair, though, the Evolution members getting booed for ending Keibler's routine. Orton cuts a pretty strong mini-promo that manages to hit all its bullet points in a brief span of time, emphasizing how he ended Austin's career by winning the Survivor Series match for his team and also confidently stating he's going to beat Rob Van Dam tonight. Foley says that if Orton is ready to go, they'll go right now, stripping off his shirt to reveal his ref's shirt...

Orton vs. RVD for the Intercontinental Championship is an interesting watch simply because its one of Orton's first high profile singles bouts and he's in there against a guy known for working fast and snug. Orton keeps up with RVD's pace, which is much quicker than what we see out of the Viper today, though its not like this is a 100% different Orton. He still works a lengthy chinlock, he still utilizes those big slo-mo rights, he still gets more mileage out of his facial expressions than his bumping, but he does bump a ton more and with much more enthusiasm here than he ever would today. Orton works here with the abandon of a guy who only broke into the business a year or two earlier, an ignorant youth who believes himself invincible. Does that spirit make for a more interesting worker? In Orton's case, I'd say yes, though it also helps that RVD was also maybe at his prime. Orton and RVD are also given considerable time to tell their story, though I think the finish could've really been improved by Orton hitting the RKO on Van Dam on the actual top rope rather than stretching out the sequence and letting some of the suspense dwindle. Good performances out of Flair on the outside and Foley on the inside add up to a match that I'm not surprised is sometimes on people's shortlist of great Orton bouts. (3.5/5)

After a commercial for the 3-Disc Ric Flair DVD, we get a video package hyping tonight's Battle of the Sexes - Trish and Lita vs. Christian and Chris Jericho. The storyline coming into this was that Jericho and Christian were trying to trick Lita and Trish into sleeping with them and bet 1 Canadian Dollar to see who could "score" first. Trish caught them talking about their plan backstage and clued in her friend, leading to this "match." As expected, this isn't so much of a wrestling match as an angle, with Jericho and Christian bumping and selling for Trish and Lita but, at least initially, not performing any offense of their own. After getting beaten up for a few minutes, the guys do start to peform some moves, though its a bit awkward to watch, especially when the crowd pops for some of the more sexually-charged spots. The live crowd eats up every minute of this and the women definitely show some real guts taking their fair sure of stiff bumps, but the overall feel of this match is just too icky for me and Jericho being conflicted with the finish doesn't really make a ton of sense after everything else he did during the match. An interesting match, an unsettling match, but not a good match. (2/5)

A video airs to remind viewers of what happened at Survivor Series and further hype our next bout - Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Unlike his Evolution stablemate Randy Orton, Batista is noticeably green and has to depend substantially on Michaels to get through this match. Batista's movements may be a little wooden and generic, but there are moments when he shows good intensity - a clothesline early on wows the crowd and, later, The Animal lands his spinebuster with authority. This match moves and progresses, though, thanks to Michaels, who was obviously told to make Batista look like a million bucks and didn't seem to have any qualms doing it. It would take some time for Batista to learn to register pain without making a weird "O-face" and take a decent DDT, but I've seen worse performances from guys with more experience. By the closing minutes, the crowd is fully engaged and craving some Sweet Chin Music so when Batista is able to avoid Shawn's first attempt, he gets a great heel response. Batista goes for his Batista Bomb but HBK sneaks out and kicks him in the mouth to steal a hard-earned victory. This was probably the best match anyone was going to get out of Batista at this point. (2.5/5)

A roided out Maven makes his way down the aisle, though Batista has still not left the ring. Maven's opponent Matt Hardy also comes out and the two start to fight in the aisleway. You'd have to be blind not to see where this is going. Hardy tosses Maven into the ring and Batista destroys him as Version 1.0 watches with a smirk on his face. Shouldn't that be a DQ? Hardy wisely avoids conflict with Batista as he leaves the ring. The referees check on Maven and the match is now cancelled - though I could've sworn they actually rang the bell already. Hardy makes the cover himself and the crowd counts along. He then announces himself as the winner, drawing boos from the audience. I think this would've been a worse segment/match if it actually had been a legit Hardy/Maven match so I'm not going to trash this one too much. (1.5/5)

Time for our Tag Team Turmoil Match - La Resistance taking on Hurricane Helms and Rosey to start things off. Rosey is the brother of WWE star Roman Reigns and tragically passed away just last year at the young age of 47. The crowd isn't super into this match, though, I don't blame them as both of these acts had kind of run their course by this point. Conway gets pinned after a few minutes and almost instantly their replacements run in and sneak a pinfall victory over Hurricane - Jindrak and Cade advancing to face Lance Storm and Val Venis. Neither of these teams left much of a dent in the WWE, though Cade would go on to at least hold the Tag Titles a couple times with the underrated Trevor Murdoch. A "Boring" chant starts up, which was part of Lance Storm's gimmick, but also reflects the match pretty well. Add Venis' name to the list of guys in this match that weren't bad workers, but were just completely tired as personas. Cade helps Jindrak score the win and The Dudleys show up, the most over tag team in this match yet. A "We Want Table" chant starts within 15 seconds as Bubba and Cade go at it. The "Tables" chant only gets louder as the match wears on, especially once Cade locks in a resthold. As anyone might've predicted, the Dudleys get the clean victory a few minutes later via a 3-D to pop the crowd. Next up - Test and Scott Steiner, who had previously been feuding. Steiner may have been better as a heel than a face, but by this point everything he does looks either labored or lazy, like he knows that the company was just riding his contract out and had no interest of re-signing him and he, conversely, had no interest in getting re-signed. The heels get way too much offense and this match goes way too long to maintain the crowd's interest, the otherwise hot crowd getting a bit quiet for everything except the nearfalls. Steiner disappears before the match enters its final minute, probably trying to protect himself. Steiner would've protected his cred better by just not wrestling at all, I think. Bubba hits Test with a Bubba Bomb and D-Von makes the cover, retaining their Tag Team Championships in the process...or have they? Eric Bischoff comes out and announces that there is a seventh team in tonight's turmoil match: Batista and Ric Flair. I'm not sure who the legal man is, but it doesn't really matter as Batista and Flair proceed to squash the Dudleys in short order. If this was going to be the swerve ending all along, why not build the final minutes of the match between 4 guys that actually had some chemistry and could deliver a good match? Nothing to see in this match. (1/5)

A video package airs talking up the WWE's partnership with the USO. I'm unsure if this was the first Tribute to the Troops deal but it doesn't really matter - some of the clips featured here are super cheesy and goofy, including John Cena's "rap" for the troops. One of the more entertaining minutes on this entire broadcast.

Ivory vs. Molly Holly for Holly's Women's Championship is next. This match definitely doesn't stand up to what the women do today, but at least its not just an excuse for cornball comedy or raunch. The crowd doesn't care, but Holly and Ivory wrestle like they should - there's intensity in every submission and Holly's suplexes are particularly snappy. In 2003, the audience just wasn't trained to care about women's wrestling, but more than that, this match suffers from featuring two completely undefined characters. Ivory, no longer leading the Right to Censor, was now a colorless face (I think?) and Holly, no longer the chipper tomboy or the superhero, was basically just positioned as a "bitch" for lack of a better term. At this point, the women weren't failing the WWE, the WWE was failing the women. I'd still watch this match 100 times before I'd rewatch that Tag Turmoil slog. (1.5/5)

Main event time - Goldberg defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Triple H and Kane. I've never seen this match before, but I can take one guess as to why they'd throw Kane into the Goldberg/Triple H: to switch the title onto The Game without "damaging" Goldberg. The fact that Evolution had captured the IC and Tag Titles earlier in the show takes the telegraphing even further, though, who knows? Maybe there were fans in attendance that thought this would make Triple H leaving with the title too obvious? Despite booking that didn't necessarily play to his strengths, Goldberg is the most over guy in this match and its not even close. The heels gang up on him early as JR and Lawler, who have been noticeably mic'd low on the whole show, talk about how eventually Triple H and Kane will have to come to blows themselves if they want to leave with the title. Goldberg makes a comeback and Triple H slips to the outside. Kane and Goldberg have anti-chemistry, Kane obviously used to his opponents selling a bit more and Goldberg looking a bit out of his element working with two guys so seasoned and in-tune. Soon enough, Triple H and Kane begin bickering and Triple H takes a big fall to the outside. Kane and Goldberg nearly botch a stun gun and Kane goes for the chokeslam only to get clobbered in the skull with a chair by Triple H. Oh, this match was no DQ? Okay. Goldberg hits a second powerslam on Triple H and then attempts to Pillmanize the Game, which the crowd pops for (even though its kind of a super heelish thing to do). I'm not sure why Kane stops him, but he does. This isn't WCW level of non-psychology, but its dipping its toe in the same pool. Goldberg attempts to suplex Kane through a table and now its Triple H who prevents the 3rd Man from destroying the 2nd Man. Kane hits a chokeslam on the table, but the table doesn't break - which disappoints the corwd. Kane lays Goldberg back on the table and lets Triple H elbow drop through the table, which seemed like an ad lib. Triple H celebrates with the chair in hand and we get a bit of comedy as Kane tells him to put it down. Triple H tells Kane that he can pin Goldberg and Kane, because he's an idiot, believes him long enough to get tossed into the stairs. Triple H then attempts a pedigree and gets back body dropped on the floor. Kane trusting Triple H for even a third of a second made no sense considering their history. We get our third "sit-up" from Kane and the crowd responds like they did for the first two - barely. Kane and Triple H brawl up the ramp. Kane hits The Game with a chokeslam on the steel but the crowd is still chanting for "Goldberg." Kane drags him back to the ring but before he can get the win, Goldberg takes him out with a spear. All 3 men struggle to get to their feet, but when they do, they proceed to exchange big right hands. Goldberg takes both of his opponents out with a double clothesline and hits Kane with a second spear! He lands one on Triple H as well, but out comes Evolution! He tackles Triple H and goes for another cover, but Kane breaks it up at 2. The crowd is now standing and on the brink of chanting "Bullshit" as they seem to know the fix is now in. Kane and Goldberg start choking each other as the crowd boos. Triple H strikes Goldberg with a lowblow and Kane hits a chokeslam on the champion. Batista pulls Kane out of the ring and Triple H makes the cover for 3. Well, I'll admit I was wrong - they opted to keep Kane strong rather than Goldberg. I didn't enjoy this for a number of reasons, though I'll admit that the actual wrestling wasn't terrible or anything, but what bothered me was the predictability of Triple H going over and the noticeable lack of psychology at key moments. Nothing worth revisiting unless you really like seeing the most popular babyface on a roster get treated like replaceable garbage. (2.5/5)



With a Kwang Score of 2.31-out-of-5, Armageddon 2003 ends the WWE's year on a sour note. The show starts out promisingly enough as the opener is fun and the crowd is engaged. The Orton/RVD match that follows isn't a classic, but its a PPV caliber match featuring a relatively strong "rookie" performance out of Orton and some nice extra touches by Flair and Foley. I could even see the argument that the Battle of Sexes match, while it made me a bit uncomfortable, is unique enough and worked smartly enough for it to be a better than average bout (again, I won't go that far, but its undoubtedly better than any of the male/female bouts WCW produced in 99'). From this point on, though, the card basically just implodes. Really, there is nothing to recommend beyond this point. Michaels/Batista is a carry job, but Michaels doesn't carry him far enough to make it a match worth your time. The Tag Team Turmoil is the worst match of the night and it feels like it runs for a full 30 minutes. The main event is just disappointing all around and while I understand the argument that Evolution's dominance on this show was "great heel heat," the difference is that when Vince McMahon found ways to cut off Stone Cold in the 90s or when Hulk Hogan got turned on by Andre the Giant or Randy Savage, the crowd may have been booing but it was also growing. The audience didn't grow in 2003 or 2004 because, as much as Triple H wanted to be leading the Horsemen, Evolution were pushed to the detriment of more popular, over characters (like Goldberg). 

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville