WCW UnCenSored 2000

WCW UnCenSored 2000

Miami, FL - March 2000

CHAMPIONSHIP RUNDOWN: Coming into this show, Sid Vicious is the reigning WCW World Heavyweight Champion, the United States Championship is held by Jeff Jarrett, Jim Duggan is the TV Champion, and the Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea is the Cruiserweight Champion. The Tag Team Champions are The Mamalukes and the Hardcore Champion is/are 3 Count. 

COMMENTATORS: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, and Mark Madden

UnCenSoRed 2000 begins with a video package detailing tonight's triple main event. I wrote about this in my review of the previous month's SuperBrawl, but this is another show where, if you just looked at the card, you would think the nWo storyline hadn't happened, that Goldberg had never existed, that WCW had basically pressed pause in 94' or 95' and then, 5 years later, hit play again as your main eventers are all the same as they were back then - Hogan, Sting, Luger...the "freshest faces" are Jarrett and Sid and neither one was any more over than they were back then either.

To the ring we go for our opening contest - The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea defending the strap against the maskless Psychosis (with his right hand man, Juventud Guerrera, beside him). Psychosis wasn't an ugly dude or anything, but taking the mask off of him was still the wrong move to make. Iaukea is wrestling in a dress shirt and slacks because that's what Prince was known for wearing...? Before the match can begin, Chris Candido shows up and joins the commentary table. At least a few fans in the audience recognize him, throwing up Triple Threat signs. Candido notes that he's a second generation wrestler, which I didn't know he was (I looked it up - his grandfather was a job guy in the WWWF), just like Iaukea. The in-ring action takes a backseat, but its not like they're doing too much worthy of comment either. Things get better when Psychosis takes control, delivering the type of offense the Cruiserweight division used to deliver with far more consistency. Guerrera and Paisley get into it on the outside as Psychosis delivers a guillotine leg drop. Before he can make the cover, though, Paisley slaps him in the face, allowing Iaukea to hit his jumping DDT. Darn. WCW had a chance to put the title back on someone who could put on exciting matches but opted instead to keep the strap around the waste of an average worker with an ill-fitting, one-note gimmick. (1.5/5)

Backstage, "Mean" Gene talks to Bam Bam Bigelow about how Bigelow brought in The Wall (I thought that was Berlyn who did that) but now The Wall needs to be stopped before he ends any more careers. While The Wall being Bigelow's protege might be true, its just inconsistent with The Wall's whole backstory.

Anyway, the team of XS (aka Lenny and Lodi) make their way down the aisle to take on the unlikely duo of The Demon and Norman Smiley. Before "The Screamin' Demons" enter, though, Stacy Keibler (as Ms. Hancock here) makes her way down the aisle to join in on commentary. Unlike at SuperBrawl, where The Demon came out to generic blues rock, here its some sort of weird KISS-like song. The Demon's casket opens, but instead of the Demon emerging, its Smiley who comes out sporting the make-up. That's actually kind of cool. This match, which I'd categorize as a "comedy bout," wouldn't be so bad if anyone other than Smiley could execute. Lodi's skills are rudimentary at best and Lane, at least here, is even worse, botching two spots noticeably. The crowd doesn't care at all about The Demon, but Smiley is seriously over. Keibler adds nothing on commentary to the point that I forgot she was even out there until the end. Smiley wins with the Norman Conquest. Lenny and Lodi blame Keibler and try to bring her to the back, but the Screamin' Demons rescue her and bring her back to the ring to dance with them. They all do the Big Wiggle together, including referee Billy Silverman. Bad match, corny ending. The only point being awarded is for Smiley. (1/5)

After some brief backstage segments with Booker T and Kidman and then David Flair and his posse of weirdos, we're back in the ring for Bam Bam Bigelow vs. The Wall. The first few minutes of this match are surprisingly good as Bigelow and The Wall trade big strikes and keep things even. As far as "hoss matches" go, its probably the best Wall match I've seen yet, which is admittedly faint praise but still should count for something. Unfortunately, it flies off the rails once they head to the outside where The Wall attempts to put Bigelow through a table but doesn't get the elevation he needs to make the move look cool. The bell sounds - Was this a double countout? DQ? Was this a Tables Match all along? - and Flair and Crowbar show up to exact revenge on the guy that injured them. The Wall stalks them to the back as Bigelow as placed on a stretcher. Before we can see what has happened to Bigelow, the camera pans up to where Crowbar and The Wall are fighting on the scaffolding above the entrance way. The Wall chokeslams Crowbar through the stage in a HUGE spot! Wow! You can provide all the padding you want, but that looked stupendous! The match was nothing special really but that chokeslam from the scaffolding through the stage was so terrific, I'm going to nudge this one to above-average status. (3/5)

The show continues with Brian Knobbs talking to Gene Okerlund. Knobbs dedicates his match, the next match, to Crowbar and Bigelow, as he heads to the ring to take on the reigning WCW Hardcore Champion, the team of 3 Count. Yup, a team was the reigning Hardcore Champ. 3 Count come out first and want to do their dance routine, but get interrupted by Knobbs, who, to his credit, looks to be in the best shape he's been in for several years. Before entering the ring, Knobbs runs to the parking lot to grab a cart full of weapons, including a trash can and a ladder. He unwisely starts tossing weapons into the ring, basically handing them to his opponents. Tenay notes that to win this match, Knobbs will need to defeat all three members of the team. After withstanding an initial flurry of weapon shots, Knobbs goes to work with his tools, adding some insult to injury by rubbing his armpit in his opponents' faces. The numbers game catches up to him and before long 3 Count start using the ladder to their advantage. Knobbs is able to roll out of the way of Shannon Moore's senton and grab a fire extinguisher, hosing them off when they try to perform their dance routine. Knobbs places a chair over Helms' face (he was sporting a face protection mask) and smashes it with a kendo stick to eliminate his first man. Out of the ring we go where Knobbs pulls out a table. Knobbs follows Karagias back into the ring and powerbombs him through the table on the outside! That looked great. Helms comes back for more, but Knobbs tosses him over the guardrail. He nails Moore with a chair and then brings out yet another tabl, sliding this one into the ring. Knobbs looks to bodyslam Moore through the table, but Helms comes off the top rope and Knobbs slides over the table. Moore makes the cover and gets a 3, but Nick Patrick reverses the decision when he realizes Knobbs' foot was on the rope. The match continues and Knobbs tosses a ladder all the way to the arena floor onto Karagias in a very rough move. In the ring, Shannon Moore tries to hand Knobbs the title, but Knobbs wants to win it the right way. He grabs a trash can and smashes it onto Helms in the center of the ring to regain the WCW Hardcore Championship. This was everything it needed to be and much more fun than any of the other recent Hardcore Championship matches have been. I'm not necessarily excited to see Knobbs back with the title, but hopefully they did this so they could move 3 Count onto bigger and better things. (3/5)

The New Harlem Heat are backstage with "Mean" Gene to talk about their upcoming bout against Booker T and Kidman. We then cut to the mysterious black limo parked outside of the arena. Schiavone wonders aloud whether the person inside the limo is Jeff Jarrett's "insurance policy." Cut to Vampiro hanging out in a dark room under a ladder talking to himself like a lunatic. Cool.

Booker (still no "T") and Billy Kidman vs. The New Harlem Heat is next. Man. Not only is Booker saddled with having to carry the New Harlem Heat, Kidman has now been pulled into this mess too. Stevie Ray and Booker start things out, but his match doesn't really start to stink up the joint until Big T comes in. I didn't notice it earlier by directly behind the ring are 5 bright yellow empty seats and now that's all I can focus my gaze on. Ahmed Johnson attempts to leap over the guard rail and hit Kidman with a tackle and barely touches him, his belly getting caught on the way. What the hell was he even thinking with that spot? I'm not sure he could've hit that at his athletic peak, let alone 30 pounds later. You can hear a kid laugh at him after the move, which is sad. Kidman plays the face in peril, but its the audience who is in desperate need of rescue. After Kidman hits a bulldog, Booker gets the hot tag and hits Big T with the Book End and then nails Stevie Ray with one also. Booker's momentum is ruined by a double sidewalk slam, though. Big T makes the cover but only gets two after Kidman makes the save. In theory, the finish is a cool idea that combines Kidman's agility with a signature Booker kick, but Kidman isn't the legal man, so why would his pinfall count? This was more palatable than I thought it'd be as they at least cut a decent pace and its kind of fun to see how fall Ahmed Johnson has fallen. (2/5)

We get another replay of The Wall chokeslamming Crowbar off the scaffolding through the stage.

Pinfalls count anywhere in the next match - Fit Finlay vs. Vampiro.  Vampiro comes to the ring with his left hand in a cast, while Finlay's right hand is in a cast. Thankfully, most of the empty seats from the previous match have been filled now. Its nice to see Finlay back in action against a guy that isn't Brian Knobbs or Norman Smiley-in-comedy mode. From what I've seen of him, Vampiro is generally sloppy and imprecise in the ring, but he brings energy to the ring, throws himself into his bumps, and has an undeniable charm. Finlay and Vampiro end up brawling through the crowd a bit, Finlay maintaining control all the while. I wish they would've come up with more creative spots or transitions, as there's too much walking around with no pay-off. Finlay accidentally drags him into the women's bathroom before turning around and shoving him into the men's room. Finlay takes Vampiro into one of the stalls, which Vampiro then climbs onto. Vampiro tries to come off the top of the stall, but Finlay catches him with the trash can. Out of the bathroom they go, but they are swarmed by fans because WCW security couldn't do its job. Out to the balcony they go where Finlay tries to toss Vampiro off, but Vampiro escapes and then they just sort of walk back inside. Finlay ends up dropping Vampiro onto the floor, but Vampiro won't stay down. Vampiro hits a bodyslam on the floor (which Schiavone describes as the Nail in the Coffin) and gets the 3. I'll give WCW credit for delivering some anarchy at the end of this match, but overall, this was pretty weak aside from the cool "feel" of the match. There were ways to get to that end result, with the crowd cheering behind Vampiro, that required more planning and more creativity and, for whatever reason, they didn't put enough thought into this match. (1/5)

The nWo's Harris Brothers make their way down the aisle for a match against the reigning WCW World Tag Team Champions, The Mamalukes, Big Vito and Johnny The Bull (with their manager Disco Inferno). I looked up WCW's roster to see if they had any better options for the tag scene at this point, but honestly, they didn't. Their roster was seriously fucked at this point, which is somewhat ironic as, through 98', one could argue that WCW's roster was, from an in-ring standpoint, much better than WWE's. By this point, though, the Radicals were gone, much of the foreign talent had skipped town (was La Parka still around even?), and injuries had thinned out the main event scene. Hence, The Harris Brothers challenging for the tag titles in a heatless match against The Mamalukes. Vito and Johnny aren't world class workers, but by comparison, they are far more interesting and energetic than the former DOA/Blue Brothers/Creative Control/White Supremacists. Vito and The Bull work their asses off to make this match acceptable, but they'd have to be supermen to do that. Disco gets involved because this is a no DQ match, but even after hitting one of the Harris Twins with a belt shot, they kick out (which is stupid). The Harris Brothers hit a second H-Bomb onto Vito (after hitting him with the belt too) for the win. If this was no DQ, why didn't Disco get involved more? Why didn't anyone grab a chair? Dumb match where the wrong team won as The Mamalukes were actually getting somewhat over and were at least decent in the ring. (0.5/5)

Finlay cuts a weird promo backstage, basically saying that he achieved his goal of beating respect into Vampiro despite losing the match. Okay. Then its over to "Mean" Gene where Luger and Flair cut promos about their matches tonight.

A video package airs reviewing the feud leading to our next match - Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk in an unofficla cowbell match (its actually a No DQ match, but the cowbell is prominently featured). Funk had been serving as Rhodes' mentor for awhile, but then Rhodes turned on him for a vague reason that had something to do with Dustin Rhodes blaming his messed-up life on Funk. Funk, meanwhile, had started sporting an uncooked chicken on his hand to mock him. Before the match begins, Funk brings out Dustin's "baby brother," a guy in a chicken suit. Is this match supposed to be a bloody brawl between two serious rivals or something to make us giggle? The comedy portion of the match ends early as Funk grabs the cowbell and just starts whipping Dustin with it. They do some basic brawling before the cowbell and rope really get put to use. In one particular vicious spot, Rhodes ties the rope around Funk and then sends him to the ropes, pulling him back with a whiplash-causing jerk. He does it again on the floor and it is equally ugly. Back into the ring they go, where Dustin hits a DDT for 2. Dustin puts the cowbell on Funk's forehead and delivers a bulldog. The Chicken comes back into the ring - I guess the comedy portion wasn't finished. The crowd does not give any sort of shit about this match, even when Funk gets some offense in by crotching Rhodes on the top rope when he goes to climb into the ring. And, once again, we have a bunch of empty seats right in the camera's view. Funk grabs a microphone and changes the rules, turning it into an "I Quit" match. The ref tells him he can't do that so Funk clocks him with the mic. Funk starts to pound on Rhodes with the cowbell, eventually forcing him to say "I Quit." The announcers explain that simply quitting is not enough to lose the match and the referee refuses to raise Funk's arm. Rhodes gets back up and nails Funk with the cowbell for the dozenth time at least. I'm genuinely surprised neither guy has been busted open as it really seems that is what they were going for. Rhodes delivers a piledriver on the cowbell to finally end this match. I was expecting this to be much better, but neither Funk or Rhodes have any connection to the crowd so the match is just totally cold. Plus, while they worked hard, neither guy was in the best shape of their life or performing with the charisma and confidence they once had. (1.5/5)

A video package recaps the Sting/Luger feud before their Lumberjack Match. All of Sting's lumberjacks, including Curt Hennig, have damaged wrists from Luger "Pillmanizing" their arms on TV over the past few weeks. Lex Luger shows some good character-work/psychology before the match, looking over his shoulder constantly as he does his pre-match posedown. Luger grabs a mic and after gloating a bit about his physique and intelligence, he welcomes his lumberjacks - Hugh Morrus, the New Harlem Heat, and the Harris Brothers (all of whom wearing casts to balance out Sting's crew of injured wrestlers). This match hasn't started and it already is showing more thought and consideration than the previous 90 minutes of booking combined. Sadly, all that great prep leads to an uneventful, nothing special match. The biggest pop of the match happens when Luger gets beaten up on the outside by Doug Dillinger and then we get a mini-swerve with Tank Abbott showing up and taking Dillinger out with a single blow. The lumberjacks end up brawling in the back and then we get an overbooked finish involving Miss Elizabeth, Vampiro, and Sting's famous bat. When the ball rang, this match just died. Points awarded for the pre-match stuff, seeing Tank Abbott deck someone, and the Vampiro and Sting partnership starting up. They should've just been given the tag titles instantly because they're now the only babyface team anyone could or should care about in WCW. (1.5/5)

In what I believe was a nod to the return of Vince Russo, the show's line-up was changed and the WCW World Heavyweight Championship match came on next - the United States Champion, Jeff Jarrett, challenging Sid. Before the match begins we get another view of the ominous limo in the back. Last month it was Roddy Piper who emerged. Who will it be this month? In the ring, Jarrett cuts a promo and promises that if he wins, the nWo girls will strip. Way to not get heel heat, Jeff - now everyone wants to see you win, including the commentators. Sid comes out and despite getting beaten up by the Harris Brothers early (which the referee doesn't as much "miss" as just blatantly ignore) gets control and looks like he's poised for victory. Of course, this being WCW, the World Championship match can't end without as much shenanigans as possible. Honestly, I just watched the match a little over an hour ago and I've forgotten the sequence of events, but needless to say, a Harris Brother, Slick Johnson, Hulk Hogan, and Scott Steiner all play a role (Steiner being the mystery man in the limo, I believe). Sid retains the title in the midst of all the chaos. The actual in-ring portion between Jarrett and Sid wasn't all that bad as Jarrett was capable enough to bump for the big man and Sid was spotlighted the right way. Sadly, everything else surrounding this match was very dumb and the fans responded by throwing garbage in the ring - either because Hogan blew the false finish spot (it at least sounds like Johnson makes the full 3 count before Hogan pulls him out of the ring) or because they just don't like Hogan. (1/5)

With Hogan selling the damage from a guitar shot by Steiner, Ric Flair shows up and our Indian Strap Match has begun. Main event time! Hogan, despite starting the match on his back, ends up taking control within the first 60 seconds and then just dominates the match for the next several minutes. Hogan and Flair stick to the tried-and-true: brawling around the ring, choking each other with the strap, Flair going up top only to be sent crashing down with a press slam, there is absolutely nothing new, innovative, or creative in this match. That being said, Flair and Hogan put forth a strong effort to get the brutality over, both ending up bloodied by the end of it. As this is WCW in 2000 and there seems to be nobody steering the ship, there are some serious eyeroll moments too. Lex Luger hits Hogan with a chair, but no DQ is called because...? Later, Flair extracts a foreign object out of his boot, but why hide a weapon if the match is no DQ? As this is a strap match, the competitors are trying to slap all 4 corners of the ring before their opponent can get to their feet and "break the succession," but both Hogan and Flair go for pins in the last minute (in fact, Hogan wins via pinfall before symbolically tagging the fourth corner). A better match than the one that came before it only because Hogan and Flair, even on their worst days (and these days might be them) could still put enough personality and charisma to make a match like this decent. (1.5/5)


With a Kwang Score of 1.59-out-of-5, UnCenSored 2000 was another disastrous PPV for WCW. Watching it close to 20 years after the fact, it is hard to believe that WCW would survive for months after this as the main event scene doesn't feature a single guy that is over even half as much as Goldberg or Sting or DDP were in 97' or 98'. Despite not featuring any must-see matches, the show is still an oddly interesting watch, especially if you (like me) had stopped paying any attention to WCW at this point and didn't witness its crash at the time. The booking is as inept as advertised. The production and presentation feels cheap and unprofessional all around (Mark Madden is particularly terrible at his job). And yet all of these imperfections and mistakes and head-scratching decisions playing out all at once make for something that somehow managed to hold my attention for far longer than I expected going in. For a very particular fan, this might be watchable, but for most it won't be.

FINAL RATING - DUDleyville